


Blood Magic

by GatewayGirl



Series: Blood [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dark Arts, Other, Secrets, Severitus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-20
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-21 05:44:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 84
Words: 334,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10678911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GatewayGirl/pseuds/GatewayGirl
Summary: Blood magic was supposed to keep Harry safe, but his relatives are expendable. Blood magic was supposed to keep Harry looking like his adoptive father, but it's wearing off. Blood is a bond, but so is the memory of hate -- or love.





	1. The Burning

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old story, but possibly the one I am best known for. Here are some notes for context: 
> 
> **Severitus Challenge** : Severitus, a UK fan, issued this fic challenge, I believe after book 3. I don't remember all of it, and the geocities link is long gone, but the requirements include: Snape is Harry's father; Harry goes through slow physical changes at school; Remus is back at Hogwarts; and a few other things. This was written to meet all of them. 
> 
> **Canon-Compatibility** :I worked out most of the plot for this before OotP was released, and wrote it over the next 15 months. (I used the date I finished for the publication date.) Most of OOtP worked well for what I had planned, so I wove it in. The only major inconsistencies with book five canon are that Moody and company did not read the riot act to the Dursleys at the beginning of summer, and Harry didn't get the Marauders' Map back. Future canon, obviously, including most later backstory, was predictably out the window! (Except for Snape/Lily. You would not believe how many readers in 2003 thought Snape being in love with Lily was the bit that went over the top.) If you liked the way I did Severus Snape in Snakes and Lions, you will probably enjoy this.
> 
>  **Pairings** : Various romantic relationships exist or are referred to during the story, including M/F, M/M, and F/F pairs. There's no actual sex, just kisses, innuendo, and talk with TMI. Romance is not the point of this story.
> 
>  **Rating** : The rating is for violence, smoking, mild use of recreational potions, and indirect references to past child sexual abuse (not Harry). I have lots of erotica, but this is not it.

 

_1-- The Burning_

 

Half an hour before the start of his sixteenth birthday, Harry sat looking at two letters, contemplating his last year. 

It had been horrible. From the Dementor attack that had made a bad end to his summer of isolation, through the death of his godfather, in which Harry himself had not been blameless, straight through to the letter he had received from Hermione, only a week after the end of term, being fifteen had been horrible. 

Harry picked up the folded letter from Hermione and fingered it. He didn’t open it – he didn’t need to. Most of the words were burned into his mind. Hermione had taken him to task for his attitude about certain events of their fifth year.

She had been kind enough to say that didn’t hold him solely, or even primarily, to blame for his godfather’s death, which she had been dreading as near-inevitable since Sirius came with Harry to Kings Cross Station, but she told him, in no uncertain terms, that he had no right to blame Snape, Dumbledore, or anyone else for his failure to learn Occlumency. The letter was long, detailed, and well-argued, but the gist of it was in one paragraph:

> That it is your teacher’s job to teach makes it no less your job to learn. I saw no indication that you made any attempt to learn while you were receiving Occlumency lessons. Furthermore, when you drove off Professor Snape (and I don’t know how, but I did hear your lessons ended because of a fight, not because he thought you were ready) you made no attempt to win him back as a teacher, to acquire another teacher, or to learn on your own. Understand that I’m not telling you this because I’m angry at you, Harry. I’m telling you this because I know you can do better, and you need to do better, but as long as you keep blaming your lack of responsibility on other people, you’re not going to do it.  
> 

Harry had flown into a fury about the whole thing, and sent Hermione an angry three-page reply describing exactly how everything was someone else’s fault, and how Hermione didn’t understand how normal people couldn’t learn everything at a glance, like she could. He had fumed for days, got into a fight with Dudley, from which he naturally came off the worse, and in doing so focused his aunt and uncle’s general dislike of him into immediate animosity. While locked in his room, he had found a draft of the letter he sent Hermione less than a week earlier, and been dismayed at how whiny it seemed. Checking back to compare points to her letter had driven him to the depressing conclusion that she was right. He really never had tried, and it wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own. He’d sent her a short note (“Ignore my earlier ravings – summer makes me stupid. I’ll try to do better.”) and set about trying to live up to it. 

For the past two weeks, he had ended every day by turning off his light, sitting on his bed, and saying, “I will not avoid lessons that I do not like. It is not Snape’s fault I would not learn from him. It is not Dumbledore’s fault I would not talk to him.” After this, he practiced clearing his mind, as he should have done that spring. He did this grimly, as a penance offered to Sirius. It was not pleasant, but clearing his mind, at least, became easier. 

Yesterday, he had awoken thinking that he needed to mark the end of the year and move on. He had started to write a letter to Hermione, telling her what he was intending to do, but after agonizing over it for several hours, he had decided it would sound much more sincere if he could actually say he had _done_ things. Gritting his teeth, he had written a short note to Professor Snape, formally apologizing for intruding on the professor’s memories. After three minutely different versions, he had realized that it didn’t really matter what he said – Snape was never going to forgive him and couldn’t possibly hate him any more, so he was really just doing this for Hermione, or perhaps himself. He had taken his last draft and sent it off with Hedwig. 

With his owl gone, he had not been able to send a letter Hermione right away. For marking the end of the year, he decided he needed some sort of ritual at the turn of his birthday, and he would write Hermione at the end of that. He had taken Hermione’s letter -- as a symbol of the end of the year -- and the first disciplinary notice from the Ministry of Magic -- as a symbol of the beginning of the year -- and bound them together with a ribbon from a present Sirius had given him. They were now on the floor in front of him, set on the emptied drop pan from Hedwig’s cage. It felt like an elaborate spell, Harry thought, as he fumbled with a match. He broke it in his nervousness, and had to start again with another. 

“Miss you, Sirius,” he whispered, as he held the match to the two letters. The paper smoldered and caught, and Harry fanned the smoke towards the open window, thinking fiercely:

_This year is over. Next year will be better._

The fire went out twice and needed to be restarted, but the smoke wafted outside, and neither the smoke detector nor his relatives noticed. When the letters had been turned to ash, Harry carried the drop pan to the window, slid it through the narrow opening, and blew the ash out into the night. 

_Go. You are the past._

Afterwards, he returned the drop pan to Hedwig’s cage, then went and lay down on his bed. He kept his eyes on the display on the small digital alarm clock. When it reached midnight, he would say his new sentences, write a new letter to Hermione, do his exercises, and then go to sleep. He looked at the paper on which he had written the new sentences. He had wanted positive statements, but the last one was still clearly reactive: 

_I am responsible for my actions._

_I will learn what I need to learn to protect myself and my friends._

_I will ask for help when I need it and accept help from qualified people, even if I don’t personally like them._

Harry shrugged. He couldn’t think of any better way to say what he meant. Maybe a month or two of this would make it clearer. He returned his attention to the clock.

 


	2. An Unexpected Letter

_2 -- An Unexpected Letter_

 

Harry lay on his side in the dark bedroom and watched the clock display as it changed from 11:58 to 11:59. He hadn’t waited so for a birthday in years, but this time it seemed vitally important to put an end to the last year and begin again. 

Suddenly, something blocked his view of the red numbers. Harry pushed up from the bed in a flash of panic, only to see a thick envelope fall from its edge to lie flat on the bed. 

Harry picked up the envelope. It was very thick – thicker than his yearly missive from Hogwarts – and closed with a pressed wax seal. The paper of the envelope was dark, but Harry could not determine, in the light that sifted in from the street lamp outside, what color it was. 

Harry grabbed the torch from his bedside table. As he did so, he noticed the clock was now displaying 12:00. He felt a flash of annoyance. 

_I missed it! I hope that’s not a bad omen._ He thought about it, and decided it depended on whether or not what was in the letter was important to the year ahead. 

“Finish the ritual,” he muttered. 

Quickly and solemnly, he said his new sentences, then worked on clearing his mind. It was harder with something to be curious about. He managed five minutes of near-stillness, then gave up, turned on the torch, and shone the beam on the mysterious missive. 

In the light, the envelope was a rich, warm red. The wax seal shone gold, and sparkled slightly around the raised lines of an ornate “P”. When Harry broke the seal, it glowed briefly, bathing his hands in a beautiful golden light. Awestruck, Harry slipped the folded sheets of parchment from the envelope. As he had expected from the envelope’s thickness, there were a lot of them. He unfolded the lot, and looked nervously at the top sheet. 

 

> _My dear son,_

Harry gasped. He shut his eyes for a moment and found his heart had sped up from just those words. _This can’t ... A letter from my dad or mum? How?_ Harry opened his eyes and looked at the parchment. It seemed new. _I’ve got someone else’s mail, that’s what!_ he thought crossly. Nonetheless, it was with considerable apprehension that he looked again at the first sheet. 

 

> My dear son,
> 
> This letter is bespelled to go to the date of your sixteenth birthday, appearing to me, if I am still alive, or you, if I am not. If I get it, you will doubtless know much of the information it contains, but I will come and read it to you, to explain some of the parts that would not be appropriate for a younger child. Actually, it’s bespelled to appear an instant before your sixteenth birthday, because of the blood magic – more on that later. 
> 
> First, let me tell you that I love you very much. I hope this is unnecessary sentimentality, and that I lived long enough for you to know that, heart and soul, but the assurance arm of Gringotts has doubtless made clear to you the propensity of Potters to die in messy glory at a young age. 

 

This paragraph ended with a little smiley face, complete with messy hair. Harry could not restrain a strangled laugh. _I didn’t know,_ he thought, _but I’m not surprised._

> Second (and the reason this letter is necessary), I am not your biological father _._

Harry stared at the words. The warmth he had felt from the previous words started to ebb away. Desperately, he went back and read them again. _My dear son ... I love you very much._ That was the reason for the “sentimentality,” he realized. That was why it was first. Because James Potter (Harry took a quick glance at the last page to confirm the letter was indeed from James Potter) had wanted him to understand that although he was not Harry’s biological father, he was still his father. 

Harry ran a hand through his perpetually messy hair. It stayed flat a full two seconds before springing back into its chosen disheveled form. How could James not be his father? Everyone said he looked just like James. Perhaps his real – Harry caught himself. _Biological,_ he thought firmly. Perhaps his biological father was a relative of James Potter?

> The whole situation got completely ballsed up. (There, see -- I’m trying to imagine you as a teenager, rather than the sweet little baby your mother is currently trying to scrape strained peas off of -- you’re having none of them. You are quite certain strained peas are an artistic medium, not, as Lily believes, a food. Clever boy!) I think the best thing to do is to present you with an overview of what happened, then include separate sheets on your father (and our complicated and often painful relationships with him) – Another smiley followed this remark – and the spell. Lily says I’m turning this into a pamphlet, but she knew of my inability to be brief when she gave me the job. Besides, if I died when you were young – and it doesn’t look unlikely – I want to put as much of myself and her, and even him, into this as possible. 
> 
> Your biological father is a friend of ours and an ex-lover of Lily’s – don’t worry, it wasn’t an affair, you were quite intentional – named Severus Snape.

Harry dropped the letter and the torch. The latter hit him on the knee, and he yelped and grabbed it. _Severus Snape? Professor Snape? But I don’t look anything like him! And everyone says I’m just like James._ Harry worked on steadying his breathing. _They made a mistake, then. That must be it._ Gingerly, he picked up the letter again, and resumed reading.

> ...Severus Snape. He’s most likely dead by your “now” – I don’t expect him to last more than a year or two, at this rate. He has a very dangerous life, and has had a death wish since – well, see the sheet titled “Severus and the Marauders: or, What the Hell Were We Thinking?” (My first draft said something other than “Hell,” but Lily objected. Despite my arguments as to the daily language of sixteen year old boys, she says that as your father, I must set you a good example. I think that would require you never meeting anyone who knew me as a teenager!) 
> 
> Anyway, Severus. The full history is on that sheet, but in brief: Severus and I were bitter enemies, and Lily and I were friends. Severus and Lily became friends, I learned to be civil to him, and then Lily dated him. He became a Death Eater and broke up with Lily. Lily and I were enemies of Severus. Lily started going out with me. Severus left the Death Eaters. Lily and I began to work with him. Lily and I got married. Lily and I became friends with Sev again. (Oh, if he is alive, don’t call him “Sev.” He hates that. Forewarned is forearmed.) (It is my earnest wish that by your time, “Death Eater” is an historical term. Suffice to say that Severus was certainly not the only one in our Hogwarts class. Contrary to popular belief, not all of them were in Slytherin, either.) 
> 
> Shortly after we married, Lily became pregnant. She miscarried. Several months later, she became pregnant again, but we decided not to tell anybody until she was showing. It was at that time that Severus came to see us. He was, by that point, working for Dumbledore in a very dangerous capacity. (I don’t expect any of the political information I include will be sensitive in fifteen years, but if I am wrong, please safeguard it, and contact Dumbledore immediately. It is all relevant to your position.) He said there was a major Death Eater offensive in the works, and he was not sure he would survive it. As he was without issue, he asked my permission to perform Herem with Lily, my wife.
> 
> I don’t know if you are familiar with Herem. It is a moderately complicated spell by which a man may ... er ... (If I’m still alive, I need to remember to have “the talk” with you before reading you this. On the other hand, considering what I was up to my fifth year, if I don’t do it before then, you could have much worse problems than embarrassment. Anyway – a warning, in case you are not as precocious: The following paragraph is about s e x.)
> 
> Using Herem, a man has sex with a woman, but time-locks his seed, so that she may release it later. This is generally used by men leaving for war. In the most common variant (which we used) the woman may not end the time lock unless the man is dead or near death. It is most commonly used between a man and his wife, but, traditionally, an unmarried man with no heirs may ask a close friend for his wife or kin for this purpose. 

Harry paused at the bottom of the second page. Perhaps Lily had miscarried again, then got pregnant, and they had somehow mistakenly believed it was from this? 

> As you might expect, this sort of request is not granted or refused lightly. Lily was willing, if I would not be hurt by it. My deepest misgiving was that I knew they still loved each other – they do even now – and while I knew she loved me as deeply, I was afraid to increase her sadness at the losses of her past. What decided me was this: Severus had broken off his engagement with Lily because she was Muggle-born, and, in his view at the time, not suitable to bear children to a pureblood man. That he asked for Lily, rather than going to one of his Death Eater companions for a pureblood broodmare of a woman (Lucius Malfoy, I believe, had two cousins who qualified nicely) was the most sincere apology he could ever have made to her, and we both wanted her to accept this gesture from him, to finalize the peace between us. Of course, we all hoped it was a needless precaution. 
> 
> Severus left. A few days later, Lily miscarried again. This time, a mediwitch analyzed the miscarriage, and both of us, and told me that Lily would be unable to carry most pregnancies by me. If we were willing to continue trying, we might eventually have a child. We wanted a child, but I did not want to put her through that again. Neither of us wanted to go through that again. 
> 
> While we were still reeling from this, we heard the news of the Death Eater attack. Hundreds of people were dead, and scores missing. We waited for news from Severus. A month later, the investigating committee declared they expected no further survivors to be located. We waited another month. At the next time Lily was fertile, she released the time lock of the Herem. She conceived, strengthening our belief that Severus was dead. 
> 
> We kept the pregnancy quiet, in case there was some additional reason for Lily’s miscarriages. Then, Severus returned. He must have been very near death for the release to work, but, by his later account, he had been near death for several weeks. We invited him over for a private dinner, planning to tell him that Lily was pregnant with his child, but when he arrived, everything changed. 
> 
> He broke down almost as soon as he saw her. He told her he had taken a French lover (not even in serious intent), and that Voldemort had found the woman unacceptable. He had ordered her kidnapped, then presented her to Severus and demanded Severus kill her. Severus had done so. 
> 
> (This is a way in which Severus is very different from me. He can, in this situation, do his sums, evaluate the deaths that would be caused by his failure, and murder a single innocent to save others. I could never do this. I can’t comprehend how anyone with feelings can turn his soul to steel and do the mathematically reasonable thing, when the mathematically reasonable thing is so repugnant.) 
> 
> Severus was damaged by the action, or perhaps by one of the other things he had done or observed during the massacre. His bitterness had grown and hardened. After he pulled back from Lily, that evening, I never saw him touch anyone in affection again. Nor did I ever again see him express any regret. 
> 
> Lily and I decided we must not tell him. We were not afraid he would kill his own child (even the obsidian blade, as we sometimes called him, has his limits), but it was clear he could not protect you from Voldemort. When Lily reached the fourth month of her pregnancy, we began the spells that would overlay any physical characteristics you gained from him with ones from me. (See the “Paternity Charm” sheet for details.)

 

Harry put down the letter again and rubbed at his temples. Perhaps they were not mistaken, then. He was glad it was late at night, and that he had eaten very little during the day. It helped make all of this seem a little less real. He had a feeling the letter would seem more frightfully real in the bright light of day. Then, fortunately, he would not be reading it for the first time. _Severus Snape? Because he and my dad – James – were both traditional enough for some weird pureblood custom involving loaning out one’s wife as a breeding prospect?_

He looked over the remaining sheets. There was only one more page to the main letter, and the Paternity Charm explanation was a single page. “Severus Snape and the Marauders” was as long as the main letter. Harry hugged his knees into his chest. Well, he’d wanted more details on what happened between Snape and James. Now he could have James’s own account of why Snape hated his dad – Harry shook his head. “Why my father hates my dad so much,” he said aloud, and laughed hysterically. He muffled the sound with his hands, afraid his uncle would wake, but the house was silent when he finished. 

Harry felt cold. He wrapped his blanket around his shoulders and returned to the letter. 

> We were not as close to him, after that – no one was. Lily’s pregnancy, and your birth, kept us occupied. Now you are sleeping through the night (usually), and we are not. Someone near us is a spy. 
> 
> Sev is convinced it is Sirius. His hate and distrust of Sirius is, unfortunately, not unfounded (See SSatM:WtHWWT?), but it has nothing to do with me. I am certain Padfoot would never betray me. However, the arguments with Severus have become longer and more acrimonious. He rails against my arrogant trust – without that, would I talk to him? I retorted, and that pulled the bulk of his guilt between us. He will not visit for long, because he cannot stand to see you in Lily’s arms – in one picture, demonstrating everything he can no longer obtain. Oddly, he now talks to me more than her, but only of politics and strategy. I’m rambling – sorry. So many parts of this are such a waste. If I could go back to first year and be kind to him.... Don’t indulge yourself in the joy of retaliation. It’s not worth it. There – that’s my fatherly advice for you.
> 
> Severus is probably dead, and if he is alive, may not be safe for you to approach. Please ask Albus Dumbledore, or, if Dumbledore is no longer alive, Molly or Arthur Weasley, if Severus is alive and approachable. Severus will find out about you – Lily has written a similar letter (obviously much shorter, as little needs to be explained) to him, and three days from when you receive this, it will appear to him, if she is dead, or, if he is also dead, to you. If you have not heard of Severus Snape, you must be prepared by then, as you could be in danger if he has returned to Voldemort’s fold.
> 
> To complicate (or perhaps simplify) matters, the Paternity Charm is not permanent. In the usual cases (covert adoption, etc.) it would be renewed every ten years, but it must be renewed with the blood of both fathers, or by the mother, with the blood of the adoptive father (me, in this case). Obviously, this is not possible if Lily and Severus are dead, or if I am dead. Lily and I extended the spell as much as we felt possible. In the most significant change, she added in some arithmancy elements, and she believes they will maintain the charm fully until your sixteenth birthday. At that time, the imposition of my physical characteristics will start to leave you. Since the spell is blood-based, it will not happen overnight. (Massive blood loss will speed the change. I recommend avoiding that. Not fun, believe me.)

Harry shivered. _Does that mean I’m going to start looking like Snape?_ he wondered. _Eeuch!_

> I wish I could say everything I want to say. The longer I work on this, the more certain I am I will die, and soon. I want you to know me. I want you to know I love you. I want you to know how I walked with you and sang to you when you could not sleep. I want you to be mine, but it hurts me to have stolen you from him. My stolen child. Be his, as well, if you can. 
> 
> Your loving home-father,
> 
> James Potter

Harry rubbed at an uncomfortable wetness in his eyes. He put the letter down and stood up. Unsteadily, he paced between the window and the bed. 

_Why Snape? I wouldn’t mind if it was Sirius or Remus. Even...._ Harry thought about people who had known his father. Peter, he decided would be worse than Snape. That was about it. Snape hated him; he hated Snape. Snape had been gleefully cruel to him from the first moment they met, and.... Harry gritted his teeth and admitted it: he had responded by being nearly as unfair. Only his relative lack of power kept him from being nearly as awful to Snape as Snape was to him. ( _Don’t indulge yourself in the joy of retaliation._ )

He wanted desperately to go look in a mirror, to see if his face had changed, but his door was padlocked from the outside. He felt his nose carefully. It felt like a nose. He realized he wasn’t quite certain what his nose felt like, normally. He smoothed his hair down. Had it stayed that way, briefly? 

_I suppose it doesn’t matter that much to me,_ he thought. _Not in any real way. James obviously loved me, so it’s like finding out I was adopted. Actually, I sort of was, I guess._

_I wonder what Snape will do, though?! He’ll probably kill me, or kill somebody, anyway! The last thing he’d want is to be associated with me._

Harry turned back to his parchment and quill. He really needed to send two quick letters, to Ron and Hermione, saying enough that they could help, but not too much. Composing them took hours, and during that time it occurred to Harry that the entire thing could be an elaborate joke. After all, what proof did he have that his letter was from James Potter and not Fred and George Weasley? That thought required a complete rewrite of his letter to Ron, and to drop the subject completely from his letter to Hermione. A line of pale light edged the eastern sky by the time Harry had finished the notes:

 

> Dear Ron,
> 
> My birthday is only a few hours along, and it’s already the second weirdest in my life! Tell Fred and George they had me going for a bit. The gold seal was an especially nice touch. Is there really a Paternity Charm?
> 
> Happy Birthday to me!
> 
> Harry

 

> Dear Hermione,
> 
> I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said. You were right, and I’m sorry I was so rude about it. I suppose I rather proved your point, didn’t I? I want you to know I have been working on my exercises, and doing all the homework I can (I can’t get materials for the practical Potions assignment). I have sent a letter apologizing to Professor Snape, and when school starts, I will ask Dumbledore if he or Snape will teach me. If you see me being an idiot again, you have my permission to tell me that I owe it to Sirius to be reasonable.

 

Harry rubbed at his eyes. He wondered if he would ever be able to mention Sirius again without feeling abandoned and guilty and _stupid_. Hedwig returned, to his relief, without an answer. Harry occupied himself with stroking the side of her beak and telling her how beautiful and smart and fast she was. It occurred to him that apologizing to Snape might be more complicated, now. He was glad he had already sent the letter; he wouldn’t want Snape to think he was apologizing just because they were related, if they actually were.

Harry gave the letters to Hedwig, before he lost his nerve, but told her to rest at the Burrow. A few hours later, he regretted that decision. 

 


	3. Expected Letters

 

_3 -- Expected Letters_

 

Harry was woken from a short sleep by a pecking at his window. Uncle Vernon had put a block above the window so it opened only enough for Hedwig to be slipped in and out. Harry had to stick his arm out, allow her to land on that, then help her in. Today, however, the owl that woke him was carrying a large package which made this harder. He managed to rest the package on the windowsill, so the owl could let go of it, get the package in before it fell, and coax the unfamiliar owl through the narrow space under the window. 

Because it was nearing the time that Aunt Petunia would come wake him, Harry concealed the package beneath the loose floorboard without even examining it. When it was safely stashed for a safer time, he opened the letter.

 

> To our most illustrious partner, Greetings!
> 
> The real world is treating us well! We have not yet made money, but we haven’t yet used all our reserves, which our fellow merchants tell us is stunningly good for a first-year business. One of those fellows, the manager at Zonko’s, is eager to carry some of our product line, and we are negotiating a mutually agreeable deal with him. Call us about your first Quidditch game, and we’ll arrange to make a delivery to Hogsmeade that weekend! 
> 
> The majority of our business is currently by owl, but we have rented some space in Diagon Alley. (No, nothing Mum would be ashamed of. We were finally able to explore Knockturn Alley, of course – a disappointment, really. None of it was truly bril, though bits were rather disgusting.) It’s mostly production, with a tiny retail section – little more than a cupboard with a window to the production area. Floo over or call by “Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes” (no stuttering!) and we’ll give you a tour. 
> 
> (and hit you for more money had been written and crossed out after this.)
> 
> We enclose a few experimental items, with mostly accurate explanations, for your enjoyment. Perhaps your sweet cousin would like some! (We recommend those labeled in **green**.) As always, any encouragement you can give your [mindless fans crossed out] schoolmates to order more is greatly appreciated. 
> 
> Your faithful servants,
> 
> Gred and Forge Weasley

 

Harry frowned. It seemed unlikely the twins would go to all that trouble while playing a joke on him, especially considering that they were asking him for favors and seemed nervous that they would need to ask him for more. 

He was distracted from this thought by the arrival of Pig. Pig brought a card, present, and homemade toffee from Ron. Harry stashed the present, still wrapped, but he had not been allowed to eat dinner the day before, and the thought of toffee teamed up with his hunger to get the better of his caution. He managed two pieces before he heard his sound of his locks being undone. 

Harry thought quickly. He did not have time to get the toffee under the floor safely, and his aunt was almost certain to smell that he had food. He left half the toffee out for a sacrifice, and shoved the rest under his blankets. It was painful to watch his aunt take the toffee he still had out, and worse yet to be told he didn’t need breakfast, but she did not look for more. Perhaps she wouldn’t think of it. Harry took the list of today’s tasks from his angry aunt, and fled to the bathroom. 

He washed his face (twice, in a doomed attempt to feel more alert) and combed his hair. 

It stayed in place. 

Harry stared into the mirror. His hair was black and fine, with a slight wave to the longer locks. It didn’t look any different ... except that none of it was sticking up. He shook his head. His hair flew up in the usual way ... then settled, almost, as if requesting a bit of help with the last bit. He ran a comb over it. It stayed down. 

“Oh _shit_ ,” he whispered.

It was then he regretted the early-morning letter to Ron.

 


	4. An Unexpected Letter, II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Severus, three days later!

 

_An Unexpected Letter, II_

 

Severus watched the burbling grey mass intently, waiting to see what the addition of powdered amethyst would do to it. If he was correct, it would clarify the potion and add the attribute of clear-headedness to the shielding draught, and possibly guard against brain-damage from the necessary quantity of lead. _Even so,_ he reflected, _the lead must be drawn out at the end. It will be a painful draught, at best._ Of course, if he were incorrect, the goo might simply explode from the incompatibility of elements. 

While he was watching, something materialized in the air to his side and fell into his arm. Severus recognized the object was an envelope and snorted. _Someone is a bit of a show-off, aren’t they?_ he thought contemptuously, and continued to watch the potion. Slowly, a fringed circle of deep purple appeared in the center. Millimeter by millimeter it spread, until the entire potion was a rich, dark violet. Not a trace of opacity remained. With a fierce smile, Severus levitated the cauldron from the fire to a cooling stand. 

It was then he turned his attention to the envelope, and nearly fell over from shock. That rich, red parchment and golden “P” seal had not been used for fifteen years. 

“James?” he breathed.

At the sound of the name leaving his lips, with such affectionate softness yet, he cursed. “Someone has stolen your stationery, ghost,” he sneered. The taunt made him feel a bit better, but not much. He felt betrayed by how his heart had sped up at the sight. A letter from James — or James and Lily.... Even if such a thing were possible, he should not _want_ it. 

Deliberately, he slid a long-nailed finger under the flap of the envelope and broke the seal. He was unprepared for the brief golden glow that enveloped the letter and his hand and briefly superimposed the Potter family crest on the raised “P”. The stationary was easy to duplicate. That charm should be impossible for anyone not of Potter blood. 

“And did it well,” he breathed, but his voice was not mocking, now. His mouth was too dry for that.

 

> My dear Severus,
> 
> This letter is bespelled to go to you three days after Harry’s sixteenth birthday, if I am dead. If you are also dead, it will go to Harry. He will have received a letter from James on his birthday....

_Harry? James?_ Severus flipped over the letter and looked at the signature. “Lily” the letter ended, in her exuberant swooping script, complete with the free sketch of a daylily at its end. He had seen her make that little picture in under five seconds. It was probably harder to duplicate than her script. 

Snape let his hands, still gripping the letter, sink to the table top. He closed his eyes. Lily.... A letter from Lily....

“Which makes her none the less _dead_ ,” he forced out fiercely. _Dead girls are not supposed to write me, dearest ghost,_ he thought. _And why about Harry? I won’t let your precious son be killed — don’t ask any more of me._

He almost set the letter down and walked away. 

He almost threw it on the fire he had not yet extinguished.

The first lines came back to him. _James has already written to Harry. About what? I need to know what James told Potter about me. “Potter.” That used to mean James. Damn them both._

 

He opened his eyes and resumed reading.

 

> My dear Severus,
> 
> This letter is bespelled to go to you three days after Harry’s sixteenth birthday, if I am dead. If you are also dead, it will go to Harry. He will have received a letter from James on his birthday.
> 
> In brief, Harry is your son _._

“He is not!” Severus snapped out loud. “All gods, Lily, when did you become delusional?! The brat is the image of your arrogant husband.”

With distaste, he forced himself to resume reading.

 

> When you did not return, I completed the Herem ritual, and conceived. Do you recall the dinner we invited you to when you returned? We had intended to tell you that evening, but your story about your French lover convinced us it would be unsafe for him, and you, were anyone to know. We used a Paternity Charm, started prenatally to increase potency, so the child would look like James. Considering how much Harry looks like James, I think it likely he will be recognizably yours when that wears off, which it will have started to do three days ago, if my charm modifications were successful.

 

“Of course they were successful!” Severus raged. “When did any charm of yours ever fail?” He shuddered. _That ... spoiled, self-centered, arrogant boy is mine?_ The implications of a previous statement struck him. _And he knows?_

 

> We told no one of this, not even Professor Dumbledore. However, we thought it important that you and Harry both know before the charm wears off enough to make your kinship apparent. We told him earlier, in case you had returned to Voldemort, or gone mad, or otherwise become unsafe for him to approach. He has instructions to request advice from Dumbledore if he has never heard of you. 
> 
> I request two things: first, do not separate him from his godfather, if they are now fond of each other. I know you do not approve of Sirius, but we chose him, in part, to be your balance. Second, I earnestly hope you do not regret a half-blood child, but if you do, send him from you quickly rather than subjecting him to the slow poison of your bile. Our Harry does not deserve that for your choice of women. 
> 
> Farewell, my beloved. It hurt to deceive you in this, which should have been my greatest gift to you. Cherish our son, and hold none of what I spun with James against him. 
> 
> I love you always, my obsidian blade, my shadow prince, my first love. If you love me still, treat Harry kindly. 
> 
>   Charms draw the shades of night around our kisses  
>  and the wind bear our amorous cries unheard to heaven
> 
> Lily

Severus closed his eyes.

 

An hour later, Severus slipped into Dumbledore’s office like a storm cloud sliding over the sun.

“We have,” he said, “an urgent problem.”

Dumbledore looked at him curiously. “Yes, Severus? Pixies in the Charms storeroom, again?”

“Be serious!” Severus snapped. He thrust Lily’s letter at Dumbledore. “Read this!” He hesitated. “Just the first side,” he added, with a trace of awkwardness.

Dumbledore lifted his eyebrows in amusement, then lowered his gaze to the paper. His amusement faded quickly as he read.

After he had read the first side of the paper several times, he handed it back to Severus and folded his hands on the desk. 

“I can see that it has worrisome ramifications, Severus, but might you, perhaps, be allowing your personal feelings to exaggerate the more far-reaching ones?

“I killed that French woman, Dumbledore! Killed her because my lord told me to. I cannot do that to Harry Potter — as much as I sometimes might want to. And you know the strength of blood magic — you have used it to keep the boy safe these sixteen years. Now _I_ can be used against him, as soon as anyone knows.” Severus began to pace. “What do you do now? Do you kill me to save him? Do I stop spying and hide from the Dark Lord to save him? My arm burning constantly? I don’t even _like_ the boy!”

“We will do the second, if it becomes necessary,” Dumbledore said firmly. “However, the Paternity Charm wears off very slowly — it is blood based, and some of it becomes embedded in organs of the body. It may be six months or more before his changes become obviously unnatural. You and James were both tall, skinny, and dark-haired — that works in our favor.”

Severus closed his eyes, trying to picture Harry as accurately as possible. To his surprise, his clearest image was of a small first-year boy, staring at him in angry defiance. Beyond that, he kept seeing James, instead.

“He has Lily’s nose, I think,” he said, still detached in trying to picture an older Harry Potter. Surely he ought to be able to picture Harry Potter! The boy was a thorn in his side. 

“Yes. That’s helpful,” Dumbledore agreed. “He’s always had James’s mouth and eyes, however — the shape of the eyes, though the color is clearly Lily’s. That’s what makes his expressions so like those of James. When he scowls, I recall James’s fiery anger, though Harry’s is much darker. When he laughs, I remember James’s jokes, though Harry is much more reserved.”

“Don’t start confusing him with memories of me.”

“There is no need to worry, Severus. I cannot avoid these associations, but I am skilled at remaining aware of the individuality of my students — better than many of their professors.”

Snape gritted his teeth at the subtle barb. Dumbledore knew exactly who was worst at it, he was sure. 

“So, you believe we have several months.”

“Were our only concern Harry’s appearance, we would have several months.”

Severus waited. “But?” he asked finally. 

“I heard from Molly Weasley, today. She had been rather shocked to have Ron ask her about the Paternity Charm. She said he said that Harry had asked him —“

“That brainless simpleton!”

Dumbledore looked at him in silent reproof. When Severus eased his glare, the headmaster continued mildly:

“According to Ron, Harry did not mention why he was asking. If we explain the problem to him, I’m sure he can find some alternative explanation to provide to his friend.”

Severus ground his teeth. “Lies very well for a noble Gryffindor, does he not?

Dumbledore sighed, but his mouth curved in an unmistakable smile as he turned from Severus to Fawkes. He stroked the phoenix’s brilliant plumage. 

“With how many Gryffindors were you involved, Severus?”

“Just the two,” Severus answered irritably. “Unless, of course, you are asking how many —“ 

Dumbledore held up a hand for silence. “No, Severus. I am merely interested in romantic involvements.”

“Two.”

“And at least two more were friends. Yet you hate the house.”

“The first relationship ended badly, and the second —" Severus stopped suddenly. “That ended badly too, but by my hand, my words. She is dead, and I hate him. James is dead by the Dark Lord’s hand, and Augustus in his service. What from that house did not turn bitter at my lips?” He turned and sneered at Dumbledore. “Very fair on the outside, your lot are, but it makes the inner bite but more galling.” He picked up the letter. For a moment, he hesitated. “I will speak to him.”

“Are you certain?” Dumbledore asked. 

“Don’t you trust me?” Severus mocked. “I hate the boy; I will not deny it. But this is my problem as much as his, and I need to talk to him, eventually. Before school starts would be preferable.” A savage flash of pleasure shot through him. “And if anyone can terrify the brat into silence, it is I.” 

“Of course I trust you, Severus,” Dumbledore returned, with aggravating mildness, as if Severus had been perfectly pleasant. “If you wish to bring him back here to live with you, I have no objection, provided he consents.”

Severus goggled at the headmaster. 

“Did you hear me? I _hate_ the boy.”

“As you wish.” Dumbledore smiled. “Please don’t harm him in your zeal to protect him, then.”

“I will do what is effective,” Severus hissed through clenched teeth. 

“Very well. Good night, Severus.” 

Severus whirled, taking comfort in the sound and feel of his robes swirling about him. He was halfway to the dungeons before he realized he had forgotten to return the headmaster’s good wishes. 

 


	5. A Surprised Visitor

 

_5 -- A Surprised Visitor_

 

Severus looked disdainfully at the beefy man who opened the door. The man looked equally disdainfully at him, or at least attempted to. His face was more adapted to crude hate than any haughtier mien. 

"I have come to speak to Harry Potter," Severus said clearly, in the voice that indicated he suspected his listener was an idiot.

The man's piggy eyes widened as much as they could. "Wrong house," he snarled, and he attempted to slam the door shut. Severus, with well-honed reflexes, caught the door and forced it back open. 

"I do not make mistakes," Severus sneered. "I kill far too many people for that." 

The man fell back. "Look here," he blustered. "He's a worthless freak, but he's my wife's blood. I won't have you killing him in my house!"

Severus smiled slightly at the phrasing. _And if I took him outside first?_ he wanted to ask, but he restrained himself. 

"I am not here to kill Potter," he said. "Show me to him." 

"He's not here," the man said stubbornly, "and freaks like you are not welcome in my house. Get off my property, or I'll call the police!"

Severus drew out his wand and held it loosely between thumb and forefinger. " _Indicare,_ " he commanded.

"No! That! I won't —! That — perversion!" 

Severus looked from the wand, now pointing to the second floor, slightly to the left of the staircase, to the raving man, who was becoming a very unhealthy shade of crimson and brandishing massive fists in a threatening manner. He took a firm hold of the wand and pointed it at the man. 

" _Stupefy_ ," he said. The man fell with a house-jarring crash. A bony woman and an enormously fat adolescent boy came running from the kitchen. To his distaste, Severus recognized the woman as Lily's horrible Muggle sister. 

"Ah, Petunia," he said, with malicious politeness. "I am looking for Harry. Please escort me." He leveled the wand at her. He was not sure if Lily had ever told Petunia the circumstances of their break up, or what he had taken to doing to Muggles thereafter, but she certainly looked as terrified as if she had. 

"Who are you?" she demanded. So much for that sweet thought. Of course, Severus realized, the years had changed him considerably. 

"Why Petunia," he said silkily. "Don't you remember? Lily's _first_ fiancé. The one who detests Muggles." 

She remembered. Lily had told her. Severus took a perverse satisfaction in seeing the horror cross her face. 

"Upstairs," she babbled. "It's not my fault. He's lazy, impudent. We can't be wasting —"

"I am aware of Mr. Potter's failings, Petunia. Do not remind me of your own. Escort me."

From Petunia's words, Severus expected Harry to be lolling about, surrounded by luxury. That was, after all, what he always had expected. He was surprised to find himself led to a door with five separate padlocks sealing it shut. 

"Oh!" Petunia brought her hand to her mouth. "Vernon has the keys! I'll go get —" 

"Alohamora!" Severus commanded repeatedly, and each lock, in turn, fell open. He pulled them out and dropped them on the floor, then threw open the door. 

He wasn't sure what he had expected, by then. Something as nice as the rest of the house, still, and perhaps a little better. Instead, he found himself looking at a nearly bare, underlit room, which smelled badly of confined owl and inadequately washed teenaged boy. On the bed, shirtless, and in trousers so enormous that they were almost indecent, sat Potter. Severus had never realized how skinny the boy was. Both he and James had been thin, but neither had looked like a starved refugee, as this boy did. His startling green eyes, more prominent in his thin, bespectacled face then in Lily's well-formed one, were underscored with dark bags. He had been reading a book that Severus recognized at a glance as _Foreign Influences on Modern European Potions_ , but he had let it fall to his knees at Severus's entrance. 

"Professor?"

Severus bit back an impulse to order the boy to Madam Pomfrey — hell, to scoop him up and take him. _The boy doesn't need rescue,_ he told himself angrily — _no one does — he needs to learn to take care of himself._

"Potter," he said sarcastically.

Potter looked back at him with those unreal green eyes, without blame, or hurt, or hope, or any emotion at all. For one relieved moment, Severus hated him without reservation.

"Well?" Potter asked.

"Stand up, boy!"

Potter had to catch his trousers when he stood. He pulled in the belt he was wearing as tight as it went, and the trousers blossomed out beneath them like a cavalier's breeches. He swayed slightly, then steadied.

The hatred had swung to other targets, and a black anger was growing in the back of Severus's mind. _My son — Lily's son! How dare they treat him this way!_ He kept his voice cold. There was nothing to be gained from encouraging weakness in the boy. He did not have the leeway for weakness.

"You mentioned the Paternity Charm to Mr. Weasley," he snarled.

"I wanted to know —"

"You fool! Is it worth your life to know? Mine? Anyone's? Keep your questions to yourself. If anyone dies because the Dark Lord discovered our — because of _that_ , it will be on your head!"

Potter shrunk. He didn't pull back or noticeably slouch down, he just became smaller, or appeared to.

"Yes, sir," he said.

A roaring at the back of Snape's mind threatened to engulf him. He held his wand tightly, afraid he would turn and start firing Cruciatus curses at Lily's worthless sister and her waste of a family. 

"I won't rescue you, Potter," he sneered.

Potter shrugged slightly. His entire bearing conveyed that he had not expected it. Snape wondered that he could ever have taken that diffident fatalism for impertinence.

"But I will offer you this," Snape heard himself say. "Get out of here -- _on your own_ , mind -- and make it to Hogwarts, and I'll see to it that Dumbledore allows you to stay." 

A flash of hope brought painfully familiar life to those emerald eyes. "You will? But how can I.... The locks ...."

"I'm afraid, Mr. Potter, that 'how' is your problem." Snape sent him a tight-lipped smirk. "You have never shown an inability to evade your guardians before." 

He closed the door. The harsh click over his own words left him feeling sick, and the woman peering from a room at the end of the hall did nothing to improve his mood. He threw open the door across the hallway, just because it was there. A large room crowded with thing upon thing, mostly in garish Muggle "plastic," assaulted his eyes. 

"That's Dudley's!" the woman shrilled. "You have no right to be in there! My Dudley is a good, normal boy!" 

Severus stared at the huge, quivering lump she clutched to her side, and found himself without words. The woman scuttled close and began replacing padlocks on Potter's door. Severus listened to them clacking shut — one, two, three.... Unable to stand any more, he turned on his heel and swooped down the stairs, the hem of his cloak billowing out to rustle against the walls. At the front door he turned. 

_"Renervate,_ " he said grudgingly at the woman's husband, and he was gone. 

 


	6. The Escape

 

_6 -- The Escape_

 

For a while after Professor Snape (Harry just couldn't manage to think of the man as his father) left, Harry sat staring at the door. The locks and hinges were both on the other side of it. He wondered if he could cut through the hasps from this side, if he had a plumber's saw. Finally, he got up and looked. The doorjamb had an inset that made the hasps unreachable. Harry wandered over to the windows. Getting out that way would be easy — he could pry off the blocks, or just break the glass, and drop. That left him outside, though, without access to his trunk, and Harry knew he could not leave his trunk at the Dursleys', even for a day. Once they knew he was gone, they might throw it out, or even destroy everything in it. Besides, he'd need his wand to call the Knight Bus, unless whoever was guarding him these days intervened.

His thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a furious Uncle Vernon. Apparently, it was all Harry's fault that wizard freaks showed up to berate him. Actually, Harry supposed it was, in a way. After ten minutes of Harry mildly agreeing to every insult his uncle could derive for Snape, and most of those his uncle produced for him, Uncle Vernon finally gave up, slammed the door, set the locks, and informed Harry, through the cat flap, that he was not getting any dinner, and he would not get to use the bathroom, that evening. Nodding numbly, Harry lay down. Hunger and emotional unrest had nothing on sheer lack of energy. He slept. 

Harry awoke with an idea. The hasps, even if he could reach them, would take painful hours to cut through, and he would almost certainly be caught. The door around them, on the other hand, was a modern, hollow core piece — a quick hole and less than an hour with a saw would cut most of the door free of the part that was locked and bolted.

This wasn't an idea he could use immediately. He needed to smuggle two or three tools up to his room, and he needed a few hours when the Dursleys would be out of the house, so he could make the cut, then break into the cupboard and get his trunk, then get the trunk out to the curb, then call the Knight Bus, all without being caught. Still, it was an idea. Harry knew it was time to prepare and wait. 

 

Severus Snape's visit, Harry mused, two days later, had made an already bad summer worse. The Dursleys had kept him confined for most of July, and had fed him even less than previous years, but he had been pretty much left to his books and letters. Now, however, Vernon was angry at the intrusion by a wizard, and Petunia angry at the reminder of her dead sister, and Dudley angry that the man had _looked_ in _his room_. They were too cautious to hurt Harry directly, but Snape's indifference to Harry had bolstered their courage for indirect harm. Aunt Petunia reverted to her usual methods of torturing Harry: she gave him lists of tasks too long to finish, so she could tell him he was lazy and punish him for his failure by withholding the following meals, and she gave him tasks that he was likely to hurt himself doing. After a day of weeding that Harry was sure she had planned so he could never be in the shade, Harry found himself severely sunburned and contemplating today's job — pruning heavy overhead branches from a tree. 

Harry gazed up at the first marked branch and thoughtlessly rubbed the back of his sunburned neck. The resultant slash of hot pain stopped him instantly. Harry put his hands down by his sides and looked back at the branch. He hadn't eaten since lunch, yesterday, and was feeling rather dim. 

_If I cut there, and jump to the left ... assuming I move in time ... if I can...._ He stared at it a while longer. Aunt Petunia leaned her head out the kitchen door.

"If you don't get it done by lunch time, you'll be going without!" she called out to him, in gleeful malice. 

Harry slouched wearily off to the garden shed. 

In the blessedly cool darkness, he collected the saw and pruning shears. He nicked a cigarette from the stash Dudley kept behind the flower pots and pulled down the smoke as quickly as possible. He was relieved to feel the wooziness recede slightly. 

"A little more alert, anyway," he muttered, "Food would be better." He wondered vaguely if his cousin ever noticed that he went through more of the things than he should.

Harry upended a bucket near the tree and stood on it to make his cuts. He set the lower cut at an angle, so the branch (he hoped) would fall to the right, where it had a low side branch. When the upper cut started to creak dangerously, he jumped from the bucket and ran to the left. He successfully avoided both the first fall, to the right, and the subsequent roll to the left. It was strangely exhilarating. He smiled for what felt like the first time in days. 

"One down, one to go!"

 

When he came in for lunch, the Dursleys were nearly finished.

"We've already started," Aunt Petunia informed him nastily.

"But you're not finished," Harry pleaded. "Please may I have some?" He felt himself swaying, but tried to look politely focused.

Aunt Petunia frowned at him, then sneered in disgust. "If you must. Take the rest of the chicken and eat it outside. You're too dirty to sit in my kitchen." 

Amazed at his good fortune, Harry took the remaining chicken (three limp, cold, wings and a lump of skin) outside, and ate it as slowly as he could manage. Then he put away the shears and saw. For once it was an advantage that his trousers were ridiculously big. In the cover of the shed, he strapped a smaller, covered saw to his thigh, and walked with it toward his room. The Dursleys were still at the table, talking about a movie that Dudley wanted to see. 

"And then the guy's friend gets killed, see?" Dudley said. "But he's got to carry the body, because —"

Harry walked up the stairs as quickly as possible, remembering Cedric's corpse heavy in his arms, but not so heavy as his guilt and his fear and his horror — sadness and regret like a blanket of lead.... 

"Big thrill," he muttered. 

He hid the saw under the floor. Mission accomplished. Now he just needed a hammer and awl, or hammer and screwdriver, or, in a pinch, just a hammer, and he was ready when his chance came. 

"Tomorrow, a hammer," he muttered absently. He heard himself and grinned. "The next day, the world!"

 

On Friday, nearly a week after Professor Snape's visit, Harry got his chance. He had just finished doing the lunch dishes, when his aunt ordered him up to his room. 

"We'll be going to a movie this evening," she said, "and I want to make sure you stay out of trouble." 

"Could I get another one of my school books?" Harry asked. He thought it best not to look too enthusiastic about being locked in his room.

"I'm not letting you near your ... things. Not without Vernon here to help me."

"The newspaper, then?"

"Why would you want the newspaper?"

"It has a crossword puzzle." 

"Oh, very well!" Aunt Petunia let Harry grab the paper from the table in the living room, then escorted him up to his room. Harry listened to the padlocks snapping shut, then waited for the sounds of the front door, and the car starting. Nothing happened. Apparently, they were not leaving immediately. Harry began to assemble the items to pack once he got his trunk. He set out his birthday gifts, Fred and George's tricks, and the two school books he had up in his room. When he neatened the pile of summer letters, the thick red envelope caught his eye. He'd read the main letter many times, and the description of the Paternity charm twice, but had not been able to bring himself to read "Severus and the Marauders". He better, he decided, if he was going to face Snape in a few hours. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then opened his eyes again, and picked up the letter. 

 

> Severus and the Marauders
> 
> — or —
> 
> What the Hell Were We Thinking?
> 
>  
> 
> To start out with, a bit about me. As you know, the Potters are a pureblood family dating back to the fifteenth century, however, my parents were liberal sorts. They had, in theory, nothing against Muggle-borns and mixed-bloods, they just happened not to know any, not being in those sorts of circles. (I'm sorry you won't ever get to meet them — they really were wonderful people. Your grandfather died in the Rowensley Massacre, and your grandmother was killed in a targeted Death Eater attack, two months later.) We had a lot of money and beautiful ancestral lands and homes. (I'm down to one, now, having donated Calbright Manor, which we hardly ever used, for refugee resettlement, last year. They're turning the estate into a village, with the manor house as a meeting hall. You should go visit.) Anything I wanted, I got. In return, I had obligations of time and behavior. I could greet and converse with adult guests properly by the age of seven, and was adept at assuming leadership of the children they brought with them. My mother imbued me with two balanced passions, flying and singing, so that I had admirable skills both in the house and out of it. 

Harry found he was picturing a sort of dark-haired Draco Malfoy. It was rather disturbing. He shook his head and continued.

> When I went to Hogwarts, it was something of a shock for me. I had never before been in the company of children substantially less privileged than myself, except for deferential servants' children. Suddenly I was in a noisy crowd of wild boys and girls, many of them, crude, ill-dressed, or outlandish, and none of them deferring to me at all. And I was lost, but not about to ask any of these ... hooligans for help. While I was searching through the train for someone I knew, or a place to sit that wasn't near someone objectionable, I came across a boy who was in a compartment all by himself. He was tiny and skinny and hunched over, his clothes were dirty and patched, and he looked like he hadn't bathed all week. When he looked up, I saw that his face had a foreign look — vaguely Arabic — and that he had been crying. 
> 
> I hated him immediately. I walked in and ordered him to leave. "Why?" he asked me, and I told him I wanted this compartment. He pointed out there was plenty of room, and I told him he stank, and I needed him out so I could clean his stench from the place. At that point, someone laughed, and I turned to see Sirius Black in the doorway. I'd only met Sirius twice, and that over the previous four years, but I felt rescued. Here was someone I knew, who was properly dressed, who was civilized. I was afraid he would try to defend the waif, but he just sauntered in and said, "James told you to get out, Snivellus." They'd already encountered each other, you see. The boy stood up, stared at us for a moment, then ran away, crying again. 

This was not as hard to imagine as Harry would have liked. He had an image of a younger Severus crying, from when he invaded Snape's mind during practice, and one of a slightly older James and Sirius, tormenting Severus, from the memory Snape put in the pensieve to keep from him. He could picture James, poised and carelessly cruel, with Sirius taking up a stance slightly behind him, as muscle and back-up and audience. 

> We were pleased with ourselves, getting this fine, private compartment, and we sat down and got better acquainted, talking mostly about Quidditch, and rumors we'd heard about the Sorting. (My family was mostly Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, his mostly Slytherin and Ravenclaw.) Remus Lupin came by and introduced himself. He wasn't well-dressed, but he was clean, well-mannered, and politely deferential (just enough — not some disgusting amount) when he asked if we would mind him sitting with us. We gave him permission, and his few, quiet contributions to the conversation were intelligent and humorous. I decided I liked him. When the tea trolley came around, we bought far too many sweets (as first years often do) and ate all of it. An hour later, the boy (Severus, as you have certainly guessed) came back, opened the door, and leveled his wand at Sirius. He said something, and Sirius doubled up. I had just got out of my seat when he did the same to me. "I hope you ruin your fancy clothes with your fancy shit," he said, and left. (And yes, that's exactly what he said. At eleven years old.)
> 
> We were so sick. He'd given us squitters like you wouldn't believe, and Sirius did end up washing his pants in the bathroom sink, while I stood guard for him. Remus got all wide-eyed and said that was Dark Arts, and Sirius growled that he'd seen plenty of Dark Arts and that was a stupid baby trick. Everything was out by the time we got to Hogwarts, so we were at least able to go through our own Sorting without embarrassing ourselves, but neither of us dared eat. Sirius was rather surprised (and I think a bit frightened) when he was sorted into Gryffindor, but I was pleased. I was rather less pleased when the hat tried to say something about where I belonged. With the confidence of the utterly spoiled, I told it I belonged in Gryffindor, and it would not be impudent with me. I was sorted into Gryffindor, with Sirius and Remus, and all was well, but I do wonder, sometimes, what the hat would have said, had I let it.

For his part, Harry, wondered how often the Hat actually put people where it thought best.

> Over the next few months, I learned that not everybody was able to buy nice clothes. (Imagine that!) Remus, for example, was relieved to be in school robes constantly, so his poor wardrobe would not be noticed. It took a while to get my head around this idea, but once I did, I learned to be gracious about it. Sirius and I figured out ways to buy Remus things without it being obvious we were always paying. 
> 
> Sirius got a Howler (!) for being placed in Gryffindor. He responded by becoming almost embarrassingly anti-Slytherin. (I visited his home a few times — scary place.) He learned not to mention Dark Arts that he had seen at home, or some of the things his family owned. He, Remus, and I were all stunningly good students. We played many pranks, but most of them were harmless (making the Slytherin Quidditch robes flash a gold lion biting a serpent, for example), and the teachers generally liked us. We got away with things, perhaps more than we should have.
> 
> You might think that when I had socialized to this wider range of people that I would feel sorry about how I treated Severus. What you may not understand is that Severus made himself stunningly easy to hate. He was so dirty and ill-mannered as to be practically feral, and so foul-mouthed as to get stares from the seventh years. He knew more about Dark Arts than Sirius, and derided the idea of eschewing them. He threw screaming tantrums in classes, and if you were nasty enough to him, you could get him to cry, though it was half rage. And he knew a hundred ways to hex you in revenge. 
> 
> Our feud ramped gradually through our first year, but was still in normal school proportions at the end of it. We generally came out the better in direct conflicts, being three against one (Remus wouldn't help, except on a few special occasions of direct vengeance or protection, but another boy, Peter, had joined us by then), but Severus often got us on the sneak attacks. 
> 
> Second year started off much the same, but then we had a scuffle in the Entrance Hall, on Halloween. Severus got off a nasty hex at me, and Sirius was pounding him when we got caught by the Head Boy, Lucius Malfoy. Now, Lucius was someone both Sirius and I knew through our parents — his family was the equal of ours, and he was a cousin of Sirius — but he was five years older, and very scary. Everyone knew he practiced Dark Arts. He apparently liked Severus's talent, because after he sent me and Sirius and Peter off with detention (with Peter whining that he had just been watching), he took Severus on as a sort of personal servant. For the rest of the year, Severus was almost constantly with the seventh-year Slytherin boys. They treated him horribly, but let no one else at him, and he seemed to take it as a fair exchange. Severus took advantage of the situation to attack us at every opportunity. We had to learn to be sneakier to get him back even part of the time. 
> 
> Third year, after Malfoy graduated, was much like the first, only more so, as was the fourth, except that Severus became a Slytherin Chaser (I had made it on the Gryffindor team my second year) giving us another area of rivalry. I was better than him, of course. I was better than everybody, on the pitch. (I am not being arrogant, or sarcastic, this time. It's just true.)
> 
> At the beginning of fifth year, something happened. I was walking with Remus, who had been made a prefect, down the aisle of the Hogwarts Express, and we came across three first-year boys who were jeering and howling about another's worn clothes and home-cut hair. Remus stepped in, practically shaking with fury, and told all of them off. ("As difficult as you may find this to believe, most people do not wear patched clothes in order to offend you, and it is not your virtue that your parents have money. You are going to school, where you will be judged on your intelligence, your willingness to work, and your ability to adapt to changing demands...." and so on.) I was redder than the first-years by the time he had finished. I continued to walk along with Remus, listening to him talk, and thinking dear, sweet, mischievous Remus would never have given me the time of day if he'd met me half-an-hour earlier. 
> 
> That made me want to go apologize to Severus, and I actually tried. When I found him, though, he had a box full of mice (wild ones — I think he'd caught them himself) and was demonstrating spells to take out their eyes and other horrible things. When he saw me, he picked one up and threw it, and made it explode in the air in front of me. I ended up in the toilet washing mouse guts off my clothes, which effectively destroyed any desire I had to apologize to him. 
> 
> I'd always been popular, but became even more so, that year. That was when girls started to notice me, or perhaps when I started to notice them noticing. I thought your mother was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, but she, of all of them, treated me like an annoyance, and the more I showed off for her, the more she disliked me. I found it completely incomprehensible, that this one girl — Muggle born, yet, which I was completely willing to overlook — didn't want to be the girlfriend of the handsome, talented, well-born, powerful Quidditch star that most of her girlfriends couldn't keep their eyes (and sometimes hands) off of. Sirius said it was because she thought I was conceited. (What? You think? Damn!) Remus said that perhaps if I was nicer, the girl would like me better. (Now that might have been worth considering too.) Peter said she was too stupid to know a good thing when she saw it. I went with Peter's explanation, basked in everyone else's attention, and occasionally attacked Severus, just to show I could still beat him. After all, you need someone to show off on, and no one I cared about liked Severus, so he was a good target.
> 
> In our sixth year, Remus gave up on getting me and Sirius to not torment Severus. Instead, he took another tack and made friends with Severus himself. I think he had some logical, but mistaken, idea that if Severus were cleaner and better dressed, Sirius and I would go easier on him. Of course, this just meant we had to find other things to attack him for, which was fairly easy. He and Remus, however (with Lily, who was Remus's best friend, then), spent quite a bit of time together, much to our distress. Severus and Lily even started to get close, though Severus was no less hostile to Muggle-born students in general. I was attempting a "friends" approach with her at that point, and told her I thought he would revert to form, but she said she could be a 'good influence' on him. We agreed that eventually he would either need to stop being friends with her, or to drop some of his bigotry. 
> 
> The latter wasn't likely, considering some of his other friends. Lucius Malfoy came back for a weekend visit, that year, and apparently decided, much like Remus, that his former servant needed raising up in the world. Lucius seemed to be embarrassed to have a pureblood advocate of such low class. From what we could deduce, Severus provided Lucius with potions (the Potions master was so impressed with Severus that Severus was allowed unsupervised lab time, starting that year. He brewed some interesting things), and Lucius provided with Severus with clothes, money, and lessons in how to sneer politely. 
> 
> Severus's knowledge of Dark Arts had already attracted the attention of the circle of Voldemort-supports at Hogwarts — Nott, Avery, McNair, Goyle (Slytherin), Maitland, Holt (Gryffindor), Lestrange (Ravenclaw), and Crabbe (Hufflepuff). (There were more Slytherins and Ravenclaws than that, but those are the ones whose names I remember.) However, Lucius's blessing increased his status in that group tremendously. Sirius and Peter and I were horrified to watch Remus waiting on the sidelines of the "Future Death Eaters" (as we called them) for Severus to have time for him, and to hear Lily saying that of course she didn't approve of Severus studying Dark Arts, but some of the theories, especially of the Steering Curses (a class of spells of emotional manipulation) were fascinating. (Mind you, Lily didn't say this to me; Lily still didn't really talk to me in those days. I heard her say that to Sabrina Leott.)
> 
> I tried every sane thing I could think of to get Remus away from Severus. Sirius and I went so far as to try to get them to suspect each other of tricks we played on one or the other of them. I went into Slytherin in my invisibility cloak, and stole Dark artifacts and books from his room and brought them back to show Remus. He turned very pale, returned them, and didn't talk to me for days. (I had stolen Severus's journal, as well, but I had looked at it, to see if it could properly be used against him — or so I told myself. It was a mess of potions theories, bigoted crap ("Lily is a Mudblood, how can she be beautiful and intelligent, sometimes I want her, but she's dirty with Muggle blood, she must have some sort of mutation, because Mudbloods are just animals, maybe her mother had an affair with a wizard and she's really a half-blood, but doesn't know..."), and "Remus is sweet and Remus is wonderful and Remus is perfect," and after reading enough of it to start feeling sick, I broke into Slytherin again and put it back.) 
> 
> Sirius went further. Severus always got very jealous when Remus wouldn't see him (I'd warned Remus this was a bad sign) and sometimes spied on him. He saw Madam Pomfrey leading Remus to the Shrieking Shack, and demanded that Sirius tell him what was wrong. Sirius told him how to get past the Whomping Willow, so he could see.
> 
> Fortunately, Sirius thought this had been impressively sly, and bragged about it to me and Peter. I was horrified. I pointed out that Remus, not being in his right mind that night, would likely kill Severus, and Sirius just nodded and said that would solve our problem, wouldn't it? 
> 
> I didn't want to solve 'our problem' by killing somebody, and certainly not by making Remus a murderer — Remus was sweeter than the rest of us put together, even counting Lily — kind and gentle and forgiving — to anyone but himself. If he killed his friend it would destroy him. I ran down to the Shrieking Shack and just managed to pull Severus out.
> 
> Severus, as you can imagine, hated Sirius even more, after that. I finally had to admit he had cause. I was angry at Sirius, as well, and we were barely talking for months. That had a silver lining — Lily began to treat me like a worthwhile person ... partially for saving Severus, but more for admitting that Sirius had done something horrible. Sirius sulked and acted like it was just another prank and we were all being unfair. 
> 
> Less reasonably, Severus hated Remus after that, and Remus was miserable. He lived in the library the rest of the spring, coming back exactly at curfew and speaking to me rarely and Sirius not at all. Sirius complained, and I told him this would have been much worse if he'd caused Remus to kill. Months later, Sirius finally got it through his head that driving Severus away had not brought Remus back, and he began to try to make amends. Neither of us could ever withstand Sirius when he was remorseful, so we were all friends, again, by the end of term.
> 
> Lily, meanwhile, had tried to patch things up between Severus and Remus, but failed miserably. Severus didn't reject her, though, and they began to date. I tried to argue with her, pointing out that Severus was deeply prejudiced against Muggle-borns, but she pointed out that he was unlikely to get any better about it if they all avoided him. I had to agree, though I still thought the odds were against her. Between that and being ashamed of what Sirius had done, I started trying to be civil to Severus when I encountered him with Lily. Soon, I started to see why Remus and Lily liked him. He was tremendously intelligent, creative, and driven. In ways, he was a lot like Sirius, but with foresight. I still thought he was kind of creepy, but I sometimes enjoyed listening to him expound on this or that, as long as this or that wasn't inherently offensive. 
> 
> Still, he was ever more in the Death Eater's club, and I could see, though Lily didn't agree, that he was becoming less open about his affection for her. His friends treated her like dirt. In June, she fought with him, and he countered by proposing to her. She came back to Gryffindor with a ring that he could only have bought with Malfoy's money, or Augustus's, and she yelled at me when I told her that. When we all went home, the Marauders were reunited, albeit on somewhat shaky terms; Lily was again not speaking to any of us, even Remus; Lily was engaged to Severus; and Severus was on his way to Malfoy manor. Repeat after me: "incipient disaster." 
> 
> Of course, it didn't feel like a disaster to me, when it happened. Severus fulfilled my expectations by becoming a Death Eater. (There, didn't I tell you? I despised him because I was perceptive, not because I was a conceited git. (Your mother is editing again.)) He dumped her on the Hogwarts Express in September, telling her she wasn't worthy of him, and he'd as soon marry a monkey. It took all of us to calm her down, and it reaffirmed our shaky bonds to do so. Late in the trip, I left her with the others, and went and attacked Severus, leaving him petrified and covered in tentacles. It was worth starting the school with a week of detentions. McGonagall went easier on me than she could have, once she heard what had happened. 
> 
> So, in my self-centered little view, my seventh year was fine. Sirius, Remus, Peter, and I were again inseparable; Lily finally began to return my affections, and, by year's end, had agreed to marry me; and I could once again torment Severus with impunity (though I was more discreet than I had been, for fear of antagonizing Lily), which I usually did in tandem with Sirius. We always enjoyed it more together. I suppose, alone, I had time to recognize that I was being hateful and cruel as he was, but when Sirius was with me, it was all just one grand joke. 
> 
> Severus just got stranger and darker and more haunted as the year went on. By winter, the younger Slytherins were in terror of him, and the classmates who had tormented him in earlier years regarded him with nothing short of awe. It was rumored that he, Lucius, and Augustus had a running contest for number of kills. Some people claimed there were bonus points for things like getting an entire family. Looking in his eyes, you could believe it. He stalked about the school in a cloud of power and death. By January, Sirius and I had had enough close calls that we were very careful about how we went after him. Clearly, living meant nothing to him.
> 
> All the Marauders, and Lily, joined a secret order that Dumbledore had formed to fight Voldemort. (I don't want to tell you more, in case it is still relevant. Ask Dumbledore if you want to know.) A few months after school ended, Severus showed up at one of these meetings. I still don't know what had happened, but he was quiet, almost cowed. He had come to Dumbledore to turn himself in, and Dumbledore had asked him to become our spy, instead. He had agreed. 
> 
> It took a couple of meetings before Lily and I managed to interact with him, even in that formal context, but it became easier as time went on. Shortly after Lily and I married, Lily announced that she wanted to invite him over for dinner. I didn't like the idea. We argued. In the end, Lily got her way. (Lily always gets her way, when she actually cares.) 
> 
> Severus came over, we all behaved like mature adults, and the evening was not a disaster. I was astonished. Out of curiosity, I agreed to repeat the experiment. Eventually, I became accustomed to the idea of Severus as a regular guest. By now, I count him as a friend, though, to be completely honest, I can still find him rather creepy, at times. 
> 
> I wonder, sometimes, what would have happened had I walked into that train compartment and said "What's wrong? Would you like a toffee?" but, honestly, I wasn't capable of it. Nothing in my life had prepared me for the chaos of the Hogwarts Express, and I was overwhelmed and frightened and disgusted by everything, and he was the worst of it. More realistically, I wonder about the other times I could have stopped the conflict, or at least stopped contributing to it. How much did I push him to become what I despised? But that's all water under the bridge, now.
> 
> Reading over this account, I am frightened by what a horrible view it gives you of all of us (well, at least him, and me, and Sirius, who is likely your guardian, if you got this letter directly). Please understand that this is all of us at our worst, that Sirius and I, at least, treated no one else so badly. I can't speak for Severus, who I am certain did (and does) terrible things in service to Voldemort, but I think this should at least make you understand that he never had much of a chance to be better, and that he is now allied with us is more improvement then I ever expected. 
> 
> Lily has read this over too, and says she would like to say more about Severus (good things), but she is uneasy, and would like to send these letters now, just in case. She will write another when she has time, and you should get them at the same time.

 

The last page ended with the little messy-haired smiley face and a little sketch of a day lily. 

 

For a few minutes, Harry sat and stared at the sheets of paper. He wished Lily had been able to write her letter — the two images of Severus that stayed with him were the one of a dirty child being bullied out his refuge on the train, and the one of a deliberately cruel teenager blowing up a mouse. He needed some balance for those. He also wished Lupin were there, to tell him good things about James and Sirius. He spent a while deliberately remembering Sirius's cheer and affection.

Finally, he heard the front door open and close. His aunt and cousin were on their way to the movies. As soon as he heard the car engine start, Harry took out his hammer.

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

_7 -- The Attack_

 

"Nonetheless, Headmaster, we must take this seriously!" Severus insisted. "Yes, the Dark Lord is paranoid in all things, but this time, he singled me out. I may be this week's suspect, or he may have real evidence of my treachery."

Severus sighed, as Dumbledore bent again to the Pensieve. Surely there could be nothing he had not noticed before. While the headmaster re-examined Severus's memory of the Death Eater meeting, Severus looked idly around the room. The gold thing on the mantel was still blinking green, as it had been when they entered the room. Severus wondered if the headmaster had noticed, distracted as he was with Severus's injuries, a physical base to prolong the after effects of the Cruciatus Curse. Severus reminded himself to mention the light when the headmaster emerged. 

While he waited, Severus let himself reflect on his schedule for the next few days. Tomorrow night, it would be a week since he had visited the Potter b— the boy. Probably if he was going to make it out on his own, he would have done so by now. Severus scowled as he recalled the boy's state of malnutrition. He would need to fetch him out, after all. Severus's lip curled in a contemptuous smile. _I'll rescue him. And I'll take it out of his pride, tenfold. This incompetent child, the savior of the wizarding world? We are doomed._

Dumbledore emerged from the pensieve. The look he gave Severus was grave. 

"He does imply knowledge," he allowed. "Still, that is his way, is it not? To imply sight and let other people's panic show him the truth?"

"It is," Severus agreed. He planned a slight frown. "Professor, what is that blinking thing?"

He had hoped to take the unflappable wizard by surprise. He was not pleased to have produced fear, even briefly. Albus Dumbledore feared almost nothing. The second of panic that crossed his face shook Severus to his barely-healed core. 

"That would be ... your son's home," Dumbledore said softly. "The wards are down." 

"What?!"

 

The street they materialized on smelled of dirty smoke. Regular pulses of color lit the space around them; after a moment of disorientation, Severus realized that these pulses came from rotating lights on the tops of Muggle vehicles, some of which were quite large. Beyond the vehicles was a Muggle house with noticeable fire damage. A cloud of green sparks, still recognizably the Dark Mark, hung in the sky above it, slowly losing form to the light breeze. As one, Severus, McGonagall and Dumbledore walked towards the house. 

"Oh, dear God," McGonagall breathed. Severus said nothing. 

A man in a dark uniform attempted to stop them at the door. Dumbledore did something that made the man ignore them. They stepped inside. A body lay on the living room floor. It was being photographed, and the distances to it measured. From the look on Vernon Dursley's face, Severus would have been willing to bet that the last thing he had seen had been a flash of green light. 

Suddenly panicked, Severus broke for the stairs. He was aware of Dumbledore doing damage control for this behind him, but had no attention to spare for it. He stopped wildly where the padlocked door should have been. 

The door had been blown off its hinges and was lying inside the small room. The area around the locks was smashed. There was no body in the room — for a fraction of a second, Severus was relieved, then he began to imagine Harry being taken — hadn't Voldemort wanted the honor of killing The-Boy-Who-Lived?

The horrible, acrid, unmistakable smell of burned house surged. Severus dropped to his knees. He was suddenly back at Godric's Hollow, reeling with pain at the sight of Lily's rigid body, as people around him measured and cast and preserved evidence, and whispered about the boy.

The boy! His boy. Missing again, but this time not whisked to safety by Dumbledore's plans. Severus's throat tightened, and a distressingly weak sound escaped. 

_I could have taken him. I could have kept him safe, but I needed to make it a contest, to make him prove himself again. Bloody hell, will I ever stop being such an idiot!_ The room spun. _One more chance — I swear next time I will not be such an idiot._

He was not sure how long he knelt there, confused memories and nightmares and near-incoherent prayers vying for space in his mind. His thoughts gained coherence when he tried to resolve who he was praying to. _Hecate_ _for wizards and choices and a youth without a mother, Nemesis in contrition for my pride, damn it, should it be some domestic goddess for a lost child or someone for a young warrior? Ganesha? There must be some Hindu god specifically for protecting lost sons. Not that any of them have any reason to listen to me. What do I offer?_ He was pulled back to the present by a light touch on his shoulder. 

"Severus?" a voice said gently. Albus Dumbledore. "Severus, I need you to find out what happened. Find out if he is still alive, and who has him."

"It's been an hour, at least!" Severus screamed. "What do you think, Albus? Do you think my lord has patience?"

"Severus. Go back to Hogwarts and initiate contact. We must _know_. I will start back in a few minutes." 

"How could this happen?" Severus demanded. "You said he was safe. Blood magic — we have never been able to break it!"

"His aunt and cousin died a few hours ago," Dumbledore said quietly. "Their car crashed. With his blood kin dead, the wards failed."

"Did you know that this could happen?!" Severus was screaming so loudly that his throat hurt. Dumbledore stretched a hand over his face. Against his will, Severus quieted. _Like a brainless budgerigar put under a blanket,_ he thought angrily, but he quieted just the same.

"Hogwarts," the headmaster said gently. "Contact whom you must." 

Severus nodded and rose. Wordlessly, he stepped back out of the room. Before walking to the corner, he realized that with the wards down, he could Apparate from wherever he stood. Drawing his cloak about him, he Apparated back to Hogsmeade, and began to jog up the path to the school. 

 


	8. The Dungeons

 

_8 -- The Dungeons_

 

With a long and rapid stride, Severus passed the Potions Lab and turned toward his rooms. Next, he must contact Pettigrew or Avery, while appearing no more than curious, or perhaps annoyed that he was not informed that his schedule was to be so disrupted. In the meantime, every second lost diminished the already slight chance that the boy might be found alive and sane. He whirled around the last corner so fiercely that his cape floated up past his waist, and stumbled to a stop, just short of the entrance to his room. There, sitting on his worn trunk, was a tired, but very much alive, Harry Potter. 

"There you are —" Harry began, but Snape seized him by the shoulders, cutting off the words. 

"Harry!" Suddenly aware that he had called the boy by his first name, as well as touching him in a way that might, perhaps, be interpreted as affectionate, or at least possessive, Snape shoved the boy roughly away. "Everyone has been frantic!" he snapped.

"You told me to," Harry retorted angrily. "Did you think I couldn't?"

Snape grabbed Harry's near shoulder, causing the boy to gasp with pain, and growled the password at his door. _What was I thinking?!_ The door opened, and he pulled Harry inside, then went to the fire and tossed down a pinch of powder. "Albus Dumbledore's office," he commanded.

 

**********

 

Harry waited for Snape to put his head into the flames, but instead, the professor pointed his wand at the fire. Something that looked like a large bubble or crystal ball glided from it into the flames and appeared to flatten. In its place, Harry saw a view of the headmaster's office appear in the fire. He wondered if Dumbledore saw the full room he was in with Snape, or just Snape. 

"Yes, Severus?"

Harry was amazed at how weary the headmaster looked. Surely summers shouldn't be that exhausting? He wondered if Voldemort had been more active than the Daily Prophet indicated. 

"I have Harry ... Potter, headmaster. He left the house early this evening, and he is unharmed." 

Relief flooded Dumbledore's features. After a few seconds, he became more guarded. "Are you certain, Severus? It's not someone using Polyjuice Potion?"

Severus frowned. Appraisingly, he looked at Harry. A sly look crossed his sallow face.

"Potter," he barked. "What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? 

Harry's remaining control vanished. "A question no Muggle-raised child could _hope_ to answer, so some arsehole teacher could humiliate me for no reason!" he shrieked. 

Snape smiled coldly and returned his attention to the fireplace. 

"I am certain, headmaster. Could the inquiry wait an hour or two?"

Harry didn't listen to Dumbledore's reply. He rested his head on his knees and shut his eyes against Snape's sour countenance. What had ever possessed him to leave the crude, predictable malice of the Dursleys for Snape's vindictive cleverness? 

"I hate you," he murmured. The noise of the flames died as he spoke, leaving his words audible in the silence. 

Harry decided there was no point in opening his eyes. He'd just stay here, until Snape threw him out, and then he would go to Dumbledore and do whatever the headmaster told him to. Eventually, Harry heard the click of Snape's boots retreating into an adjoining room. He remained still. A few minutes later, the footsteps returned, passed him, and stopped somewhere to his left. The soft sound of paper brushing against paper followed. 

Harry opened his eyes and lifted his head enough to turn it. Snape was sitting at one end of the green couch, reading what looked like a thin newspaper, and sipping a pale green liquid that looked ... well, more like a potion than a drink. 

Harry forced himself to stand up and walk over. "I apologize, sir," he said quietly. "That was rude." 

Snape looked at him quizzically. 

"I... I've had a horrible day, sir. And when I got here, I couldn't find anyone but Filch, who gleefully predicted that you'd eviscerate me, but made me carry my trunk down anyway, and ... and honestly, that was the second worst thing you ever did to me. That was when I knew that people hated me here, too."

Snape, his face expressionless, evaluated him for a moment, then replied:

"I'm afraid your day is not about to get any better, Mr. Potter." 

Harry kept himself from looking down. _Snape is going to throw me out,_ he thought, _and not help with Dumbledore, like he promised, or they've already discussed it, and Dumbledore said no...._

"Perhaps I could make you a drink?" 

Harry stared. "A drink?" he asked incredulously. _Does he remember I'm sixteen?_

Snape looked uncharacteristically flustered. "I'm afraid that is the only thing I recall how to do for someone who is upset. You don't seem to require a Calming Potion."

"Sure," Harry responded, amused. "I'll have whatever you're having." 

Snape looked at the drink in his hand, then back at Harry. "No," he said firmly. He took a sip of the green concoction. "One drug at a time." 

"Excuse me, sir?"

Snape smirked at him. "What would I get if I added sugar solution to a tincture of wormwood?"

"Um... Some sort of poison, sir?"

The answer seemed to amuse Snape. "As with most so-called poisons," he said smoothly, "it depends on the dosage." He held out the drink to Harry. "You may try a sip." 

Harry wasn't too sure about sampling something Snape had been drinking from, but when he raised the glass to his lips, the aroma was so enticing that it overcame his distaste. A small sip overwhelmed his mouth with a clean, full, almost licorice-like taste, and he spent a while holding the liquid his tongue, before he could bring himself to end the experience by swallowing. 

"Wow." Reverentially, he handed the glass back. 

Snape shook his head. "I see you're one of those unusual people who likes the taste at first exposure. That would be from me. Lily always said she couldn't understand why I would consume 'an addictive psychotic that tastes like cauldron residue.' I never did manage to persuade her that I liked it."

"What is that?"

"It is absinthe, Mr. Potter. The taste is from wormwood, among other things." 

"You're serious." 

"It has a worse reputation in the Muggle world than it deserves. It is really not much more of a psychotic than the alcohol it contains, although the stimulants allow you to function much further into drunkenness than with other alcoholic beverages. That is not always a feature." Snape set the drink aside and stood up. "Do you like almond?"

"If I say yes, are you going to give me cyanide?"

Snape stared at him for a moment before a flicker of amusement crossed his features. "I was considering almond liqueur in hot chocolate."

"Well, yes then."

Snape crossed to the fireplace. "Anything else from the kitchens? I haven't had dinner, myself." 

"I haven't eaten in a while," Harry confessed. 

"What? Why didn't you say so?"

"It's ... I expect dinner is over with, by now."

Snape stared at him again, evaluating, with a vaguely sneering look. "P-- When did you last eat?"

"I ordered some hot chocolate on the Knight Bus, though I think at least half of it ended up on the floor."

"When did you last _eat?_ " Snape repeated.

"I had an apple at lunchtime."

"Breakfast?"

Harry shook his head. "Look, I'm —"

"The day before?"

"I had dinner," Harry said angrily.

"Anything else?"

Harry looked down. He felt himself growing hot with embarrassment. 

"That would mean 'no,' I gather," Snape said. Again, he threw a handful of powder on the fire. "Kitchens."

A house elf's face appeared in the fire. "Yes, Master Snape, sir?"

"I would like two dinners, two very specific dinners."

"Yes sir!"

"One is to be a light meal. I would like a grilled fillet of fish, white rice, and whatever vegetable you wish to add. The other is to be an even lighter meal: gruel — beef-based, I think — and white rice. That rice must be cooked with no butter or other fat, though it may have a bit of salt, and may be cooked in a broth."

The house elf looked unhappy, but nodded. "May we add saffron to the rice, sir?" it asked, brightening slightly. 

Snape looked questioningly at Harry, who nodded. "Saffron is acceptable," Snape relayed. "Also, we will probably want additional food in a few hours." 

This cheered the elf considerably. "Any time, sir!" he said brightly, and promptly vanished. 

"I take it I'm not getting hot chocolate with almond liqueur?"

"No, Potter, you are not." Snape stopped in mid-sneer and stared at him. Harry's family name stayed almost palpably between them. "Keep that down," he added more quietly, "and you may have poached fish or chicken, and some form of yogurt, in a few hours. In the morning, you will see Madam Pomfrey, and get her recommendations. I expect you will be back on normal food in two or three days." 

Harry nodded. 

"I know what I am doing, Potter. It won't do you any good to eat more and throw it all up." 

"Could you please stop calling me that?"

Snape froze. Harry saw his jaw clench for a minute before he replied. 

"What would you like me to call you?"

"Harry, please."

Snape nodded. "Harry," he repeated, almost threateningly. "Regardless, I know what I am doing."

"I believe you sir."

Dinner arrived, complete with a table and chairs. The rice seemed to have been cooked in chicken broth, although there could not possibly have been time, and it was lightly floral and brilliantly yellow from sparse orange threads of saffron. Harry drank his gruel and ate about half his rice, which was as much as he could manage. 

"Not so hungry?" Snape mocked. 

Harry conceded with the slightest of nods. He sat back and tried to relax as he watched Snape continue with his fish and brussels sprouts. 

"Earlier...." he began hesitantly. 

"Yes?"

"I thought you said my day wasn't going to get any better." Harry met Snape's startled look. "So, what is it? What's going to happen once I'm fed and presented to Professor Dumbledore? I thought I'd get sent back after all, but you said I need to see Pomfrey tomorrow."

Snape pushed at his remaining fish with his fork. "You will stay, of course...." he began. He looked up. "There was an accident, Pot — Harry —"

Harry tensed with fear. Someone had been hurt, perhaps died! His mind began racing through all the people he could not stand to lose — Hermione, Ron, Ron's family....

"—earlier this evening. Your aunt and cousin died in a car crash."

Harry's first reaction was relief. Everyone he cared about was okay. Then he found himself off-balance. He couldn't absorb the idea of Aunt Petunia and Dudley being gone. They were constants in his life. He couldn't manage to feel sad, but it felt ... strange. 

"With no blood relatives left to reside at the house, the wards failed."

Harry understood _that._ Implications immediately began racing through his mind. 

"The Death Eaters noticed before Dumbledore did." Snape raised his eyebrows. "Perhaps the Dark Lord had deduced the effect and had the crash arranged. The house was attacked. Your uncle was killed. They sent up the Dark Mark and set the house on fire. We arrived to find your door smashed in and your room empty."

"Good thing I left when I did," Harry said numbly.

"I should not have told you to leave. It was idiotic, even though you are watched. You were vulnerable every second between there and here. You could have been killed." Snape smiled thinly. "But my luck went the other way. You survived, despite my idiocy."

"Due to, it sounds like."

"The intelligent thing, Po— Harry, would have been to take you out of there at the start." 

"But you don't rescue people."

" _You_ shouldn't be rescued. We need you to be capable, not coddled."

Harry looked down at the lovingly prepared rice on the fine china. "Perhaps you should give me a hunting knife and send me out into the Forbidden Forest to catch my own damn dinner."

"Don't give me ideas. I'm perfectly capable of being that spitefully consistent." 

Snape ate a final bisected sprout and pushed his plate away. "I take it I have not worsened your day?"

Harry thought about it. Slowly, he began to grin. "No one," he said fiercely, "can _ever_ send me back there. I'm delighted. Horribly guilty about it, but delighted."

"You'd rather deal with me?" Snape prodded, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

"At least you'll feed me," Harry pointed out. "Or someone will. You're cruel and derisive and vengeful, but no worse than Uncle Vernon, except for being intelligent. I have some hope you'll finally stop confusing me with my- James, which might not make you nicer, but might make you go after me for my actual faults, rather than his." 

"Dangerously honest, boy," Snape growled.

"That's why the Sorting Hat settled for Gryffindor." Harry set the statement out as bait. Snape took it. 

"Settled?"

"It wanted me in Slytherin." Harry stared intently at Snape. "Would you have been kinder to me?"

Snape shook his head, but not in negation. "I did not drink enough for this," he muttered. He looked at Harry. "I ... You look so like James...."

"James felt you were friends, at the time he wrote me the letter. That was after I was born. He admitted you were enemies most of your time at school, and that it was mostly his and Sirius's fault...."

"May I see that letter?"

"Did you think you were friends, then?"

Snape's lip curled into a cold sneer. "'Friends' is a bit much. We were on civil terms." 

"So what happened?"

"Lily died! I had told him and told him not to trust Sirius — an arrogant, vicious liar, a pureblood of the sort the Dark Lord would recruit — what could he expect? And he ignored me, and Lily died for his arrogance."

"But it wasn't Sirius."

"I know that now. But I did not believe it until I saw Pettigrew by the Dark Lord's side."

"So last year, and the year before, you knew," Harry pressed recklessly. 

"Do you think twelve years of hate can be brushed away by a single truth, Potter? Do you think I could uproot this dark and sprawling tangle from that? From that, when I now share the guilt — what if he listened to me, after all? My only solace is that I'm certain I did not sway him. James Potter did not listen to the likes of me, ever."

Harry looked down. There was a time when he would have argued with that, on general principles, but he was now willing to allow that perhaps Professor Snape knew better than he did. 

He was saved from the awkward silence by a sputtering from the fire. 

"Severus!" a voice called. Snape went to stand by the fire as Dumbledore's head appeared in the flames.

"We have just finished dinner, Headmaster," he said. "Shall I bring the boy to your office?"

"Yes, Severus. And expect to stay yourself."

"I had intended to go to Avery...."

"After our meeting, Severus. Not before."

 


	9. The Ring

 

_9 -- The Ring_

 

"While Harry is at Hogwarts, he is obviously well protected. However, I no longer have any way to protect him beyond that." They were all seated in Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore looked grim. Harry reflected that he was almost accustomed to the previously merry headmaster looking weighed down with the cares of the world. 

"I am also a blood relative," Snape said.

"But not of Lily. It is to her sacrifice that we need a binding." 

Snape scowled. Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "You still..." he hesitated. "When Lily died, you were still much in love with her, were you not?"

For a moment, Snape looked as if he would deny it, but then he nodded jerkily. 

"And you love her still?"

"She is _dead_ , Albus!" 

"Nonetheless." 

Snape growled softly. "Yes."

Dumbledore sat back, his eyes distant. His lips moved slightly. 

"Have you a love token from her? Anything?"

Snape closed his eyes. An expression of terrible pain crossed his features. "Nothing," he whispered.

"Might she have had anything from you? I have charge of Harry's inheritance, which includes many little items that survived the attack."

That was news to Harry. He sat bolt upright and stared at the headmaster, who ignored him. Harry glanced over at Snape. Snape's eyes were still closed. Harry watched him bring his hands up to cover most of his face.

"A... ring. White gold, with a pentagon step-cut emerald. I ... I gave it to her as an engagement ring, she gave it back to me when I ... broke it off, and I gave it to her again, after ... after the Herem ritual. For the child, if ...." Snape's halting account ended entirely. His normally sallow face was dark with blood. A flash of pleasure on Dumbledore's face was quickly replaced by sympathy, although the Potion Master's eyes remained closed. 

"If we have a chance at all, that will do it." Dumbledore stood up and came around the desk. "I would like to clarify some aspects of this."

Harry nodded automatically. He saw Snape, also, straighten and nod, his eyes opening and his hands returning to his lap, but the Potions master looked numb. 

"The new wards will continue Harry's protection, but they will also have dangers for both of you. If Harry is ever captured, and Voldemort thinks to look —" (A contemptuous snort from Snape attested to both his opinion of Voldemort's intelligence and the return of his emotional control.) "—he could determine how the wards were constructed. That would put you, Severus, in danger. Similarly, if Voldemort discovers your relationship, he may be able to guess how the wards are constructed, and be able to use you to gain access to Harry. In this case, however, since the focus is a token that you intended for him, simply killing you will not work. That is the strength of a physical focus." Dumbledore looked intently at Harry. "The weakness of a physical focus is that the focus is integral to the spell. You must wear or carry that ring at all times, is that clear?"

Harry hoped the ring wasn't too feminine. He supposed he could wear it on a chain, like Bertram had done with his Muggle girlfriend's ring, last year ... Thinking about it, Harry realized he had never worn any jewelry at all, and did not know how either a ring or a chain would feel.

"Harry?" Dumbledore prompted.

"Sorry, sir. Yes, that's clear."

Snape snorted. "Do you even know what he said?"

"That I must wear or carry the ring at all times." Harry shrugged. "I've never had any jewelry. I was just wondering how awkward it would be."

Dumbledore smiled. "It will become automatic, like your glasses, but not so uncomfortable to sleep in.

"I will find the ring, Severus, and I will inform both of you when the wards are cast." Dumbledore sat back down. "Now, perhaps we should discuss living arrangements."

"Please," Severus said. "He cannot stay in my rooms all August."

"On the contrary," Dumbledore said, with a reassuring smile at Harry, "that is just what I was going to suggest."

Harry restrained himself from protesting. Snape did not.

"Are you insane, Dumbledore? First, I don't have an extra room. Second, I have visitors who would be glad to take Harry home in pieces! Third, I like my privacy, and fourth, _I hate the boy!_ "

Harry winced at the force of Snape's last yell, but looked over at him curiously. Snape hadn't seemed to hate him too much, an hour ago. The professor had his hands gripped tightly together, and was staring down at them, his face again darkening at the tops of his high cheekbones. 

"And that is much of the reason," Dumbledore said gently. "You have always hated the boy for being James's son, but as we now know, he is not. Perhaps now that you can see beyond that, you will find he is not as objectionable as you have believed."

"I don't like people," Snape said sulkily. 

Dumbledore ignored the childish comment. "Furthermore, your mutual dislike and distrust have been detrimental to the Order. Even if you cannot establish any familial affection, I would like you to at least attain an effective working relationship."

"I've no room —"

"There is an empty room adjacent to yours, Severus. I will move the entrance so it goes to your kitchen, rather than the hallway. We will hide that entrance from your side. Your visitors, I expect, are seldom in your kitchen?"

Harry blinked. "You have a kitchen?" he asked.

Snape sneered at him. "Had you a modicum of observational skill, Po— boy, you would have noticed the room. You looked in that direction several times."

"I was a bit preoccupied!" 

"That is no excuse."

Harry stared. "I don't need to know what rooms you have!"

"You need to pay attention to what is around you! Do you think the Dark Lord will make allowances when you are having a bad day?"

"We're not talking about Voldemort, we're talk—"

"Do not say his name!" Snape roared, standing abruptly, and towering menacingly over Harry.

"Now, Severus," Dumbledore said mildly. "It is always best to give things their proper —"

"I say," Snape hissed icily, "that until the boy has succeeded in mastering Occlumency, he must not use the Dark Lord's name!"

Dumbledore considered this. Harry hoped he would not agree. He had always admired Dumbledore's insistence on referring to Voldemort by name. 

"In Harry's case, you may have a point," Dumbledore conceded. Harry's heart sank. "Only until he learns, however. He is, on a very real level, Voldemort's peer, Severus. Voldemort has made him so, however inadvertently."

"May I call him Tom, then?" Harry asked. Dumbledore laughed. Snape made a harsh noise that was not recognizably either a laugh or a scream, and which degenerated into a fit of choking. 

"Congratulations, Severus — you have a cheeky teenager, without having to go through any of those awkward affectionate years," Dumbledore announced. He winked at Harry.

"Don't forget cynical," Harry added lightly. "And moody, and distrustful —" He stopped suddenly. "I've been trying to work on that last one," he offered, feeling suddenly miserable.

"Have you?" Dumbledore questioned.

Harry shrugged slightly. "I figure I owe it to Sirius to at least _act_ like I trust you."

"Trust me?" Snape asked, startled. 

"No, trust Professor Dumbledore." Harry answered firmly. Snape looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. Dumbledore merely looked sad. 

"And why do you not trust me, Harry?" he asked.

"I barely trust anybody," Harry answered flippantly. He caught himself. He should try, he decided, not to give way to either anger or guilt, but keep his response measured and informative. They needed to discuss this sometime, at less than a scream. "You, in particular, are powerful and undependable," he continued evenly. "Sometimes you let me do what I need to, and other times you would rather protect me, even if it's not the right thing. Sometimes you act like I'm special to you, and sometimes you act like I don't exist. And it was clear, long before you said, that you had plans for me that I wasn't to know." He shrugged, and spread his palms out in gesture of surrender. "Still, there are times I clearly would have done better to tell you _my_ secret plans, and I can't expect you to initiate all contact between us, then be angry when you don't." He met Dumbledore's eyes. "I should probably tell you when I'm angry at you. It might shock you into revealing something." 

The last comment was purely spiteful. Harry had not intended to say it. He sat still, waiting to be reprimanded, but refusing to show fear. The sorrow on Dumbledore's face became deep and distant, and his eyes lost focus, as if he was looking at something deep within Harry.

"What's that look?" Harry prodded, trying to goad him back. "What do you see in me?"

"Many people."

"Both my fathers?" 

"Among others."

"Tom?" Harry challenged.

Snape hissed, but Dumbledore nodded, very slightly. 

"None of Tom's insincere charm, of course, but the largely undirected anger is the same." He peered over his glasses at Harry. "I hope you learn to dissipate some of that before finding something to focus it on." 

Harry looked down, chastened. "Yes, sir."

"Which is not to say all of what I see in you is bad," Dumbledore continued. "You have a great deal of integrity, energy, and valor. I must remember that you do best when I work with that, rather than attempting to dampen it." He glanced over at Snape. "That is a lesson for you, as well." 

"Why should it matter to me?" Snape asked unpleasantly. 

"As the boy's father, you are his proper guardian, as far as I am concerned. We cannot make that legal, now, of course, but I will grant you the measure of control I gave Sirius, and I expect you, considering your geographic proximity, to be more of a day-to-day influence on Harry."

Harry and Snape eyed each other apprehensively. Harry thought Snape looked as distressed as he felt. 

"Have you gone mad?" Snape hissed. Harry had to admit to a similar thought. "I am totally unsuited to the keeping of a pet rat, never mind a boy!"

"Severus, Harry is sixteen. He is largely self-sufficient." 

"Just think," Harry contributed perversely. "You can't be worse than my last guardians."

"Can't I?" Snape threatened. 

Harry refused to be intimidated. "You won't be," he said. "I have people to go to, here." He shrugged. "If you let me have food and decent clothes and don't force me to do dangerous things, you're one up on the Dursleys. I'm not expecting affection, or anything." 

And that, he thought, was painfully true. The older he got, the more clearly he understood that, at some point in his life, he should have been able to expect that.

Snape nodded curtly. "Certainly, I can provide you with acceptable shelter and regular meals, as could anyone at Hogwarts. However, you are right not to expect any significant interaction. I can assure you that I have neither the capability nor the will to act either as a parent or as a companion."

Harry nodded acquiescence, and Snape, apparently satisfied, turned away. 

 

**********

 

In the privacy of his own mind, Severus admitted that it had been rather interesting to watch Harry and Dumbledore arrange Harry's room. They had walked into the dusty, unused chamber from the hallway, and Dumbledore had scoured it with a bracing wind. When the room was clean, he closed the door, and it had rippled like a swimming ray along the walls to the other side, and opened upon Severus's kitchen. 

Next, the old wizard had asked Harry what sort of furniture he would like — what colors, what types of wood. Severus had expected the boy to go with Gryffindor house colors, but, after a moment's thought, Harry had announced he would like furnishings in green, gold, and blue, with golden woods. Dumbledore had looked as surprised as Severus felt, but a moment later, the furnishings had started to materialize from other parts of the castle. A blue-canopied bed of yellow oak had appeared from a Ravenclaw dormitory, and was settled with a Slytherin-green comforter. Beside it had alighted a Turkish carpet whose green base bore designs in gold, navy, and darker green. A forest tapestry of Narcissus and Echo adorned one wall, and an ocean one of the failed rape of Bacchus, the other. The drowning pirates seemed delighted rather than terrified as they were turned to dolphins at the young god's mercy, while Bacchus himself, one arm draped over a panther, smiled benevolently over the rail of the magnificent ship, an anachronistic four-master, which was starting to twine with laden grape vines. 

Severus snorted to himself as he reached for the Floo powder.

"You'll give the boy a complex, Albus," he muttered. 

The dresser and tables in warm, light oak had arrived bearing green candles in gold candelabras, and a gilded green velvet chair had settled in the corner, beneath a gilt wall sconce. Cloth the brilliant blue of a fair autumn sky had draped itself about a magical window, which looked out on the grounds as you would see them from Gryffindor tower (though only the lighted windows of Hagrid's hut were visible now) and cushions of a matching blue padded the window seat. The view was the only bit of Gryffindor in the entire room. Harry had declared the ensemble brilliant. Severus had settled him with the promised meal of poached chicken, accompanied by a rosewater lassi, then headed out to the living room and his fireplace. 

 

Severus exited a far grander fireplace in Avery's entrance hall. A house-elf bobbed nervously in front of him.

"Mr. Snape, sir! The master is not expecting you."

"More fool him," Severus snarled. The house elf wrung its hands. "Well?" Snape stormed. "Correct this problem before I give you some help!" He moved a booted foot threateningly back, as if preparing for a good kick, and the house elf, with a squeal of fear, disapparated to inform his master of the guest.

"Aristocrats' folly," Snape muttered angrily, as he strode across the dark marble floor. "Strand the bloody lot of us in well-stocked London flats for a month, and Pettigrew, Luther, and I would be the only survivors." 

He had to admit, he enjoyed not needing to cook, clean, or forage, or to mend cloth, wood, or metal, but he felt it was important not to forget how to do these things. Dependency was never good. 

_And someday,_ he thought, forcing himself to not even whisper the words, even nameless, _I will give you a knife and make you get your own damn dinner, whether you come back with rabbit or with mushrooms and berries. And you will be proud as a cat of all you bring home._

Severus did not know where Avery was, so he headed for the study. He found himself regretting the loss of Lucius to Azkaban. Their painful intimacy had been useful. In the study, he sat and waited, his thoughts suddenly on Draco. Would the boy be improved by the separation from his Machiavellian father, or would his mind-blurring rage have continued through the summer?

A house-elf came and offered him brandy. Severus accepted, then, once the creature had left, reluctantly transmuted the drink to have little more alcohol than butterbeer. That Avery wanted him provided with drink while he waited might indicated merely proper hospitality, or it might have a deeper purpose. 

"Severus," a voice said heartily, as Avery finally entered, a refill later. 

"Don't be cozy, Avery," Severus replied. "I want to know what's going on."

"Going on?"

"Potter's house was attacked, this evening, haven't you heard?" Snape stood, stepping close to Avery to make his several inches advantage in height clear. "I am supposed to be informed of any attack that may cause me to be summoned by Dumbledore!"

Avery dropped his welcoming manner. "Perhaps our Lord has changed the rules, Snape. He made it clear, last night, that he did not trust you."

"I am at Hogwarts! I was fetched away to some Muggle warren of identical homes to search for the child..."

"Perhaps it is time that you stopped trying to serve two masters, then."

Snape felt as if he had been hit in the gut. He tried to keep his panic from showing. 

"Dumbledore is all that kept me from Azkaban."

"An unworthy goal, in our master's eyes." 

"Had I gone, I would not now be sane to serve him."

"Ah," Avery's voice took on a sly tone, "but do you, Severus?"

Severus whipped out his wand. _"Crucio!"_

He kept the man writhing under the curse for a good two minutes, then ended it. He walked towards Avery, who was still on the ground and still twitching with residual flickers of agony. 

"Our master," Severus said softly, his voice lingering on the word, "may say to me what he wills. Do not presume to take the same liberty, slave of servants." With that reminder of Avery's subservience to those Severus considered his peers, Severus turned and left as he had come. As his own grate was blocked to incoming visitors, he flooed to the secure room next to Albus's office. After a few minutes, the door opened, though only Fawkes was present to greet him. Severus returned to the dungeons. 

 


	10. Poisons

 

Harry woke up in a comfortable bed in a beautiful room, with every inch of his body aching. He got up and tried to appreciate his lovely surroundings, but the pain in his muscles overwhelmed that pleasure, as did the worrying thought of Snape, possibly just on the far side of the door. Slowly, he dressed, choosing clothing he had inherited from Ron, when Ron had hit a growth spurt, rather than the ridiculously baggy clothing that had belonged to his cousin Dudley. He walked out to Snape's rooms. 

Snape was sitting at the kitchen table (which, unlike the table they had eaten at the night before, seemed to be a permanent fixture.) He had porridge in front of him, and there was more in the middle of the table, along with a covered dish that Harry suspected held sausages. The combined smells made Harry feel ill.

"Breakfast," Snape muttered, not looking up. He had a length of parchment out, and seemed to be writing out a potion formula, except he was currently scribbling out one ingredient and writing in another. 

"I don't think I can eat," Harry said. He noticed a headache and wondered if it had just started. 

"Porridge, Harry, at a minimum," Snape said, in the voice he might have used to say "slice the Shrivelfigs, Potter." 

"Really, professor," Harry protested. "I feel ill. My back hurts and my legs hurt and my head hurts, and the smell of food...." Harry made a face. 

"You can go to Madam Pomfrey in an hour. At this time, she will only be available for emergencies."

"Probably be just as well if I walked, first. Some of this may just be from hauling my trunk around, yesterday, and might work out."

Snape glanced up at him, then went back to his writing. "Put on some decent clothes, first," he commented absently. 

Harry, who had been about to leave, turned back in surprise. "What?"

Snape glared at him. "Put on some decent clothes. You can't mean to go outside in _that_."

Harry looked down at his shirt and slightly worn jeans. "These are the best clothes I've got," he protested. "I'm not going to wear my school robes, and everything else is too big for me."

"As opposed to those Muggle obscenities?" Snape sneered. "You do not need to display your arse all over Hogwarts, Potter — Harry. There's no one here you'd want to impress. Now, go put on something less tight." 

"They're not tight! And these were Ron's! He's not a Muggle."

"Having met a large number of Weasley children, I am confident in saying that Molly and Arthur allow many things I would not."

"But all I have is —"

"Don't argue!" 

Harry stormed back into his room, his initial amusement changed to fury. He pulled out the worst of Dudley's old clothes, then, thinking better of it, the best of them. 

"Trust Snape to make me wear them," he muttered. By the time he got dressed, he had once again decided the situation was funny, though he felt he would appreciate it more if everything didn't hurt. He grabbed the cigarettes he had taken from the toolshed and shoved them into his pocket, just in case, then he went back out to the kitchen. 

"How's this?" he asked. 

Snape glanced up, then the glance turned to an incredulous stare. "I am not amused," he said. 

"Well good, because this is my second best set of clothes."

"Into your robes, then." 

"No!" Harry shouted. "I'm only going for a frigging walk around the lake. As you said, there's no one here but a few professors. Why does it matter what I wear?"

"I will not have you leaving here looking like a tart or a vagabond!"

Harry pulled his temper in, and attempted an amused look. "You said you wouldn't get parental on me," he goaded.

Snape looked shocked. _No,_ Harry decided, _horrified._

"Very well." Snape waved a hand dismissively as he bent back over his parchment. "Wear anything you wish. Prance around the lake naked, if you like. Now, GET OUT!" 

 

Harry started off with an angry stride, but the ramps and stairs up diminished his energy somewhat. By the time he had reached the Entrance Hall, his sense of indignation had gone. He looked around for a bit, hoping to run into Dumbledore, or even Professor McGonagall, but didn't see so much a ghost. Eventually, he stepped outside and looked at the lake from the top of the stairs. It seemed impossibly large. Harry looked over at Hagrid's hut, but could see no smoke coming from the chimney. He walked down the stairs and hesitated. After a moment, he turned and walked along the base of the stairs, looking for a good place to settle in the shade. 

 

**********

 

Severus stared angrily at the paper and willed himself to remember the modification of an identification potion that had come to him in his dreams last night. He had scribbled some notes that had obviously seemed sufficient to him at the time, but he now had no idea of their significance. 

"Agitation," he muttered. "What? More? Less? And what did I mean by 'R. scales?'"

He glanced up and saw that the new door in his kitchen was still open onto Harry's room. 

"One would think you had not an ounce of experience in concealment," he sneered. He pointed his wand at the door. " _Occultio_ _._ " The door clicked closed and faded into the wall. "Idiot Muggle-raised child!" He sighed and rubbed up the bridge of his nose and along his eyebrows, where a headache was threatening to take hold. "I never change, do I?"

_I swear, this time I won't be such an idiot._

Severus cursed at the memory, and threw his quill at the unfinished potion formula. "Fine, then. I'll try. But he's —" His eyes widened. "Walk around the lake! Alone? Now?" Severus sprung to his feet. At the door, he swung on his cloak. "Damn the boy for a reckless fool, and me for a dream-addled idiot!" He left the room rapidly, his wand already out.

 

**********

 

"I thought you were going for a walk."

The comment was dry, rather than biting. Harry exhaled smoke slowly, trying not to look guilty. "In a few minutes," he said. 

Professor Snape stopped right in front of him. That much towering black, Harry thought, was rather difficult to ignore, but when he tried to look up, his neck hurt. "Ow," he said, stretching it out. 

"What is that?" Severus asked. 

Harry restrained himself from some cheeky request for clarification. "Cigarette," he said.

"What..." Snape exhaled in a little growl -- "plant?"

"Oh! Er... tobacco." 

"Tobacco," Snape repeated mockingly. "You are smoking a garden pesticide?"

"What?"

"I believe an infusion of tobacco is what Hagrid uses to control aphids." 

"Oh."

To Harry's surprise, Snape lowered himself slowly to the ground, and sat beside Harry, also leaning back against the base of the steps. "Let's see..." he muttered. "Toxic when eaten, a mild, but addictive, stimulant when smoked, hallucinogenic at near-fatal quantities...." 

"Hadn't heard that last one."

"The line between 'hallucinogenic' and 'fatal' is too fine and too unpredictable for that to have ever made it into recreational use," Snape elaborated. "There was a native tribe in North America that used it that way ceremonially to choose wizard applicants." Harry dared a glance over. Snape responded with a taunting smile. "The tribe wizard — I've forgotten the title — would chew some, then insert it into the applicant's arse."

Harry choked and went into a coughing fit. Snape ignored this. 

"The applicant would go into a coma. If he died, he would, obviously, not be trained. If he regained consciousness, usually a few days later, it would be with fantastic visions, which the tribe wizard could then interpret to determine the applicant's fate."

Harry realized he was staring at what was left of his cigarette. "Er... harsh." He forced himself to take another draw off it, but it had become short enough to have a rather nasty taste, and he stubbed it out afterwards. "You're having me on, right?"

"Quite serious. I was doing a paper on real and perceived magic in primitive societies. Many of these tribal wizards were real, you know. Now they are fake, or else, in most of the world, in violation of international treaties. Muggle-Wizard segregation is to the benefit of European Muggles and some others, but in the third world, the places that were then being taken as colonies, it fueled a horrible dependency on the more developed nations." 

"I hadn't really thought about magic other places."

"Most European wizards and witches don't." 

"What's with this 'European' stuff?" Harry teased. "We're British."

Snape raised black eyebrows at him. "Are we?"

Harry looked curiously back at him. "Well, are we? I mean, I suppose I am, at any rate."

Snape nodded. "As am I. Half my grandparents, however, were not." 

Harry hesitated, wondering what to ask. Before he had decided, Snape spoke.

"The ... cigarettes."

"Huh?"

"How often?"

"Oh." Harry thought. "I'm not sure, actually. Not much. Probably one or two a day, last week, because I was so hungry, but much less often before that. I thought the headache might be connected, but it didn't help in the least."

"A stimulant will not make you less hungry."

"No, but it made me less stupid when I hadn't eaten, and thus less likely to mess up with whatever Aunt Petunia had me doing, and so sometimes able to get her to give me some food afterwards." 

"If you could obtain those, could you not obtain food?"

"Food was in the kitchen, which was well-guarded. Dudley hid his cigarettes in the tool shed, which was otherwise my territory." 

"I see." Snape plucked a plant from the ground and turned it over and over in his hands, apparently examining it. _I wonder if my hands will get that precise,_ Harry thought, _or if that is learned?_ He looked down at his own comparatively stubby fingers.

"How many do you have?"

"Eight or nine, I think. I took what was left before I called the bus. It seemed about half. I haven't counted." 

"You may finish that, as long as it is before the start of term." Snape looked up from the plant, meeting Harry's study with a predatory smile. "If I catch you after term starts, I will dock Gryffindor House Points, give you detention, and generally make your life miserable."

Harry smiled slightly. "And I'll notice?" he asked.

"You will notice," Snape retorted harshly. 

"Okay," Harry said. He cast about for something less awkward to say, thought about what Snape had described early, and smiled in embarrassment.

"Is that amusing, Potter?" Snape challenged.

"Just ... how does anyone ever figure out that a ... paste of some leaf, taken ... er, up the arse...?" He laughed tightly, unable to finish. 

"A bit of a stretch," Snape allowed, "but it was, at least, already established as a ceremonial plant. I wonder more about things such as tapioca."

"Tapioca?"

"Yes. Derived from cassava roots, which are poisonous when fresh. Who thought of grating them up, then baking the fermented residue? Why did they think the result would not also be poisonous?"

"Maybe someone was trying to kill himself," Harry suggested. "'Hey, I'll have some of this poisonous root! That should do it!'"

"That doesn't explain why it was grated in the first place."

"Perhaps it was also used as a pesticide? 'I'll have some of this poisonous root that's been scattered around the vegetable beds.'"

"Ah!" Snape's eyes took on a triumphant gleam. "Perhaps someone wished to poison someone else. They baked it into a casserole."

"Yes, it did come out beautifully thick, today, dear, didn't it?" Harry improvised, pitching his voice high. "No, go ahead and eat, I'll just put the baby down." 

"No, nothing's wrong with my stomach," Snape growled. "Why do you ask?"

They both chuckled. 

"And you'll never guess the secret ingredient," Harry effused, and was treated to the sight of Snape actually laughing. He was half-covering his face with his hand, as if trying to hide it, and gasping slightly, but it was definitely a laugh, nonetheless. 

"Now there's a laugh I haven't heard in years," remarked a mild voice from above them. Harry twisted to look up. Snape, with remarkable speed and grace, was on his feet in an instant. Remus Lupin smiled down at them over the edge of the stairs. "What drew that out of you, Severus?"

"Tasteless jokes about murder and suicide," Snape snapped. "Nothing you want to hear."

"Hi, Professor Lupin!" Harry said. 

"Harry?!" Lupin had apparently not noticed Harry's identity, earlier. Harry suspected the angle was bad. He, too, stood up. Lupin, to his surprise, looked concerned. 

"Well, I suppose I can cross the first item off my list of questions for Dumbledore," he said lightly. 

"Yes, Harry survived," Snape said dryly. "Is that all you came here for?"

"No, actually I'm back for the year," Lupin admitted. "For my own protection, mostly," he added quickly. 

"Finally killed someone in your carelessness?" Snape goaded. 

"No," Lupin snapped. He sighed. "Voldemort has been courting the werewolves, you know, promising an end to the recent restrictions, as well as ... other freedoms."

"And?" 

"This has become popular. It has given rise to the first werewolf political leader in centuries. I am ... known to be in opposition to the alliance. I have spoken, perhaps too eloquently, in a public forum. He has declared me a traitor to my people." He shivered. "Dumbledore offered me protection ... in return for teaching Defense Against Dark Arts, again, of course."

"Yes!" Harry crowed, punching a fist into the air. "A decent Defense Against Dark Arts teacher! You were the best we ever had, Professor Lupin!" 

"Not that that is saying much," Snape sneered. "A possessed fool, a primping fake, an escaped Death Eater, and a Ministry plant." 

"We at least learned something from the Death Eater," Harry pointed out. 

"All three Unforgivables, as I understand it," Snape sneered. 

"He only demonstrated them. Except for the Imperius Curse, which he made us throw off."

"A professor cast the Imperius Curse on you?" Lupin gasped.

"And just as well," Harry argued. "I resisted his right away, but I'm certain that I wouldn't have been able to throw off Voldemort's if that had been my first time." He smiled at Lupin. "But you were better — and not _just_ because you never tried to kill me!" 

Snape choked slightly, as if he had started to laugh again, but stopped himself. "Such devotion," he commented slyly. "Very well, Lupin -- on your way."

Lupin, however, came down the stairs. "Harry," he asked, "what happened, yesterday?"

"What, the Dursleys being attacked? I missed it. I'd just run away." 

"Ah." Lupin looked grave. "Do you realize you are suspected of murder?"

"What?!" Harry yelled, outraged. 

Snape scowled. "Some bloody fool thinks that Harry Potter killed his uncle with an Unforgivable, torched the house, cast the Dark Mark above the mess, and then ran to _Albus Dumbledore_?" 

"Well, he's listed as 'whereabouts unknown,' actually, but the general theme is that the Boy-Who-Lived may have finally turned on his abusive Muggle relatives, and possibly on Muggles in general. And it seems to be more than one bloody fool, although the chief one is probably Fudge, hiding behind more expendable officials." Lupin pulled out a copy of the Daily Prophet and held it uncertainly. He smiled kindly at Harry. "Do you want to actually read this libelous rot, or should I give you a summary later?"

Snape reached out a hand. "I'll give it to him once he's eaten," he said, snatching the paper before Harry could decide whether or not to take it. "For now, we were going to take a walk." 

"We?" Harry asked pointedly. 

"You should not be alone, outside the school. Not now." Snape's lips curled up slightly, but Harry couldn't decide if the effect was intended to be friendly or derisive. "That's why I came looking for you. Do you still want to walk, or have you decided your Muggle drugs were sufficient?"

Harry hesitated. He actually had intended to take a walk, but he felt less in need of it, now. And the gnawing dread at the thought of the unread paper was probably worse than the anger he'd feel after reading it. He took a deep breath. 

"Actually, I'm sort of hungry, now. What if I have breakfast, then you let me read the paper, then I walk or something? I probably won't be good for much else, after reading it." Harry tried to smile, but didn't think the effect was convincing. He hadn't expected to be accused of killing his uncle. 

Snape nodded. "Very well. Though I insist on a visit to Madam Pomfrey, somewhere in there. And you should eat lightly."

"Lightly?" Lupin growled. "You're far too thin, Harry."

"He's been starved, Remus," Snape retorted. "It will be a few days before his body readjusts to food." 

 


	11. Public Opinion

 

 

They decided to stop at the Hospital Wing first, and Madam Pomfrey examined Harry with her usual air of concerned disapproval. When he said that he felt like he'd been playing Quidditch in a high wind for several hours, she pointed her wand at him, muttered a bit, and said he had minor muscle strain at most major joints and along his spine. She obviously didn't believe him when he said he had no idea why. 

"What you children get up to!" she huffed. 

After further examination, she recommended he eat a small amount of food six times a day for the next few days, then resume normal meals, avoiding very rich foods for a few days more. Finally, she gave him a foul-tasting nutritive draught, and sent him on his way, with strict orders to return the following morning.

Back in Snape's kitchen, Harry had a bowl of porridge with milk and bananas, which the house elves sent up from the kitchen, and tea, from a pot Snape made himself. Snape drank a cup of the tea and read the Daily Prophet, looking increasingly more angry. 

"Am I back to being mentally unbalanced?" Harry asked finally, making the question light.

"What? Oh, yes." Snape scowled. "This time, of course, it is all in the most revoltingly maudlin terms, with ridiculous details on how you have been treated and the observation that it is no wonder you finally cracked." He stood up and tossed the paper down on the table. "Read it. Stay here. I need to speak to the headmaster." 

"Doesn't it concern me?"

In the doorway to the front room, Snape whirled back. "We will be talking _about_ you, Harry. When we wish to talk _with_ you, we will let you know. For now, read the paper, and _stay here._ "

 

 ** _Harry Potter: Muggle killer?_ ** read the headline. Underneath, an article outlined the case:

 

> Harry Potter, long identified as the savior of Muggles and Muggle-born witches and wizards, may finally have turned on the Muggle world. Yesterday evening, Ministry officials were horrified to hear that the home of Potter's only living relatives, the Dursleys, hung under the Dark Mark. Horror turned to shock when Auror arrived at the scene to find Potter's uncle dead, the victim of a Killing Curse, but Potter himself missing. All his belongings were gone, as well, leading to speculation that the Boy-Who-Lived departed voluntarily. 
> 
> "Harry Potter's aunt and cousin died in a traffic accident only a few minutes before the attack," said Ministry spokesperson, Percy Weasley. "Under the circumstances, we will need to classify those deaths as suspicious." Mr. Weasley went on to say that it was well known that Potter's Muggle relatives mistreated him shamefully. The Daily Prophet must assume it was "well known" in quite limited circles. 

 

A Daily Prophet reporter had apparently been inspired to do some honest investigating. The article briefly outlined alleged abuse of Harry by the Dursleys, then referred readers to a second article on page 2 for more details. 

That article had a byline (Kynthia Bayer) and details gleaned from interviews with neighbors and observations of the house. The Aurors had apparently magically identified the cupboard under the stairs, as well as the upstairs room, as Harry's bedrooms, and been able to determine that the cupboard had been used as such for longer. The reporter had noticed that both had doors that locked from the outside, and, in talking with the neighbors had discovered that they believed Harry to be a dangerous juvenile offender who spent most of the year at a reform school. The article tone varied between shock and maudlin sympathy, but Harry had to admit the facts were, for once, largely accurate. That, he reflected, made it no less embarrassing, especially when Ms. Bayer went on for a full paragraph about this "shocking, systematic abuse that went unchecked by the child's wizarding protectors..."

"Oh hell!" Harry folded up the paper and chucked it across the room. "They're going to go after Dumbledore. Or the Weasleys. Anyone who ever tried to help me is going to get treated as a fucking _accessory!_ "

 

Though Snape was only gone for a bit longer than it took Harry to read the articles that concerned him, by the time he returned, Harry was in a simmering rage. He wanted to do something, anything, so long as it was exhausting, and preferably violent. 

"What did Professor Dumbledore say?" he asked.

"He was unavailable. Did you finish your reading?"

"Yes."

"And?" Snape asked, his eyebrows rising.

"Maudlin crap, like you said. I don't know if it's better or worse that they got their facts right, for once."

"Did they?" Snape asked.

"About life with the Dursleys, pretty much. All the 'horrific abuse' stuff is absurd, though. I was miserable, but it wasn't like they whipped me or anything."

"They locked you up."

"Sometimes. And sometimes they didn't feed me much, and they worked me like a house-elf when I was allowed out, but it wasn't intolerable. I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me."

Snape frowned. "It may not have been intolerable — _to you_ , but it was nonetheless abuse." He waved down Harry's protest. "I understand your objection to the pity, and your meaning. Certainly there are children who endure worse — I did — but for you to say it is not abuse, is as if I said it was not torture to bind a man until he soiled himself, when I might have pulled off his fingernails, instead. That worse things could be done does not make an action right."

"Look, that's just how things were!" Harry snarled. He stood and paced for a moment. He needed to do something, something active, and Snape would not let him go walking alone. "Can we duel?" he asked suddenly.

Snape's eyebrows rose. "Duel?"

"Yeah."

"Why, may I ask?"

Harry balled his hands to fists. Anger was moving through him in little electric flashes, both painful and enticing. 

"I want to blast the crap out of something," he said. "I recall you defend pretty well, and give as good as you get." 

"I see. And do you think that would wise, with both of us furious?"

"No." Harry stared at him and smiled fiercely. "But we'd both enjoy it, wouldn't we?"

A cruel delight spread across Snape's features. Harry had the odd thought that he was seeing the Death Eater, right now, and at this moment, he could deal with that. 

"Let's find an empty room," Snape said silkily. "I don't want all my things destroyed." 

 

Harry took Snape to the Room of Requirement, and it was ready for dueling, with mats on the floor, small objects to use as missiles, and things to roll or duck behind. There were even fragile, wooden things that would break satisfyingly without leaving dangerous debris. The duel started off deliberate and intense, and quickly grew furious. Afterwards, Harry rolled from the mats and lay panting on the cool stone floor, unable to recall the curses he had cast himself, nevermind the ones that Snape had cast at him. He didn't mind that Snape had won. He'd got in some good attacks, and, most importantly, had bled off the edgy energy that had been consuming him all morning.

"Do you intend to get up?" Snape asked condescendingly.

"Mmm. Good floor," Harry said. "Nice, cool, smooth floor." 

With an exasperated sigh, Snape reached a hand down to him. Harry let himself be helped up. 

"Thanks," he said. "That was fun."

"I shouldn't be pandering to this you know. You'd be better served learning Occlumency than indulging your passions in destruction."

Harry yawned. "Let's do a session now," he suggested. 

"Now?"

"Yes. I have a bit of an advantage, being worn out from fighting, but I could certainly use one."

Snape nodded. "Very well." 

With no more warning than that, Snape attacked. Harry was suddenly lying in his cupboard, the only light shining through the slat he had propped open. _Snape._ Harry forced himself to see Snape. The cupboard was still there, superimposed over the sneering Potions master. _It does not matter._ Snape was back fully now. The cupboard faded away. Harry stepped forward.

"Do I attack you?"

"It is not necessary. Again."

Snape attacked again, harder this time. He was asking a first-year Harry about asphodel and wormwood. He was pulling Harry away from the Pensieve, and screaming in rage and humiliation. Sirius was falling backwards... _It is over._ Harry found a memory, caught at it. He was blowing ashes from Hedwig's drop tray out the window, whispering "you are the past." The visions dropped away with the ash. Snape was back, standing before him in the Room of Requirement, surrounded by the debris of their duel. His expression was no longer sneering, but studying. 

"Well," he commented. "I think you have actually done your homework." 

Harry hung his head. "Yes, sir." 

"Better late than never, I suppose." At the wry words, Harry looked up into a similarly bitter smile. "Though that is sometimes hard to believe," Snape added. "Still, we must tell ourselves that. It would be fatal to believe anything less." 

Harry nodded, afraid to speak. 

"Let's go, then. You should eat more." 

Snape said nothing on the walk down to the dungeons, for which Harry was thankful. 

 

Back in the kitchen, Snape called down the kitchens for light sandwiches and milk. He didn't eat himself, but sat briefly. 

"You will be on your own this afternoon. I have work to do. Please make some attempt to stay out of trouble."

Harry nodded. "About leaving the castle...."

"No."

"Just down to Hagrid's?"

"He is away." Snape growled with exasperation. "It's only until the ring is ready, Harry. When we have new wards on you, you can walk — perhaps not around the lake, but certainly down to Hagrid's."

"Or the pitch?"

Snape snorted. "Could I prevent it?" 

"Probably not," Harry admitted. He bit his lip. "What if Lupin will go with me?" he asked. 

"No."

Harry was taken back by the sudden return of the familiar loathing to Snape's voice. 

"But he —"

"He is an untrustworthy, irresponsible, lying, careless fool! You will not go anywhere with him, outside the castle or in it!"

"Professor Lupin is wonderful! He is a kind, caring —"

"Lupin was a Marauder," Snape hissed. "I remember his _kindness_. I know what he will countenance."

"What did he ever do to you? Even James said--" 

"Nothing!" Snape snarled. "Remus did nothing! He was always there, standing and watching —" 

"The only thing wrong with Lupin," Harry said firmly, "is that he lacks moral courage. So do most people; he just has enough of a conscience that you can tell he wants to do the right thing."

Severus's face tightened; the anger drained to an unreadable expression. "So he won't hurt you," Snape said coldly, "unless it is incidental to whatever he wants to do, and protecting you would inconvenience or embarrass him."

"He won't hurt me," Harry retorted fiercely.

"Only let you get hurt?"

"I..." Harry tried to get his anger under control. Snape had a reason to say what he did. "I don't believe he would do that, either. He _likes_ me. There is a difference between acting on convictions and protecting someone you like."

A familiar flash of hatred crossed Snape's features. "And you know best, as always," he sneered. 

Harry shook. "I just said 'I believe,'" he answered. "You may not trust him, but Dumbledore does. I get to have an opinion." He looked desperately for any sign of concession on Snape's stony face. "I'll be careful around him," he said earnestly. "I promise."

"No secret meetings in hidden places," Snape pressed. "I want to know _when_ you will be with Remus and _where_ you will be, and you will not allow him to change times or locations without informing me." 

"He's in the Order!"

"So was Pettigrew." 

"Remus is not Pettigrew!"

"No. Remus is a werewolf."

"That only matters near the full moon!" Harry caught himself. He had his concession, and he was wasting it in argument. "Look, I'll do what you say, all right? I will always tell you where and when I will be with Lupin, unless he just happens upon me while I'm out —"

"In which case, you will return immediately to my rooms or to Dumbledore's office. If he accompanies you, you may speak to him while you walk, but you may not let him lead you anywhere."

"Fine!" Harry snapped, not at all as if it was. "But I really think this is unnecessary. Lupin is fond of me."

"Remus is fond of _James's son_ ," Snape returned harshly. He let that sink in for a moment. "Or perhaps just of handsome, dark-haired boys," he added, with no more mercy. His eyes locked onto Harry's. "You accept my terms?"

Harry, confused, just nodded. _Handsome, dark-haired boys?_

"Then you may speak with the werewolf," Severus said, "on those terms." 

With that, he turned and glided off, robes billowing about him in a black cloud. Harry stared after him, only partially seeing. _Handsome, dark-haired boys.... That's ridiculous!_ he chided mentally. _I know Dumbledore is desperate for a good Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, but he wouldn't appoint anyone who might molest the students!_

A new thought suddenly occurred to him. _Snape's not worried Lupin will kill me; he's worried that he'll ... come on to me, or something._ He laughed out loud. The sound was odd and wavering in the low-ceilinged room. _Professor Lupin! That's just too strange!_


	12. Levels of Guilt

 

After Harry had finished his light lunch ( _first lunch?_ he wondered), he decided to make some tea. He took the kettle from its hook in the hearth, refilled and replaced it, and lit the fire with _Incendio_. As he watched the crackling flames, it occurred to him that, unlike the duel, that was unsupervised magic, and therefore illegal. 

_This is Hogwarts,_ he assured himself. _No one is likely to notice a bit of extra magic here._ Still, he felt nervous about it, and decided that he should be more careful, even if he got away with this slip. 

He found the tea and put two spoonfuls in the pot, then poked around the kitchen a bit. The cabinet with the tea also had a small, but odd collection of spices: whole cloves and allspice; nutmegs; two types of cinnamon bark, curled into irregular straws; beautiful star anise; thin fennel seeds; some seeds that were oily, segmented, and black, looking rather like mouse droppings, but smelling bright and sweet and intense; little round seeds that smelled like some part of curry; littler round seeds that smelled like mustard... No herbs, Harry noticed. Next to the spices was a black ceramic mortar and pestle, and kitchen muslin. Harry took a few of the fennel seeds to munch on, and went on to the next cabinet. 

This had a few grains — barley, millet, rice, oats, and something Harry thought was wheat — two kinds of flour, sugar cubes, treacle, and some unlabelled powders. The next cabinet contained small amounts of a few potions ingredients, some of them poisonous, measuring scales and droppers, and several bottled potions. Harry was glad he'd taken the fennel, which he could identify, not the enticingly fragrant black stuff that looked like mouse droppings. The next, magically-cooled, cabinet contained an unopened pint of milk, clotted cream, and five dead, gutted moles, neatly laid out in a row on their backs. 

"I don't want to know," Harry muttered, and went on to the last cabinet, which had two small, covered cauldrons (empty, to Harry's relief); three plates, four bowls, and some cups, saucers, and glasses; and skewers, tongs, spoons, and some other cooking implements. 

"Okay, so he cooks," Harry murmured to himself, "but not much. Maybe only when he wants to poison somebody." Harry thought about the muslin. "He may do his own mulling." 

Harry poured the now-boiling water into the teapot, cleared his dishes from the heavy, age-darkened table, and was half-way through washing them before he realized that he could have just left them for the house elves. 

"Bet they'll be offended," he muttered, rinsing the plate. He dried his hands, poured himself some tea, and added some of the milk, while willfully ignoring the dead moles. He took the tea out to the living room, and sat at the end of the sofa. As he drank it, he surveyed the room. 

_I wonder how much I can look at without upsetting him?_ he thought. He scanned the distant bookshelves, but could not make out titles from here. Trying made his headache worse. His gaze lit on the closed door that almost certainly led to Snape's bedroom. _No, no, no! I will not even touch that door!_

The door to the bathroom was slightly ajar. Harry had been in it, but only as long as necessary. "That next, then. I need a bath, anyway." Harry felt his neck for the state of the sunburn. It had gone down to itchy, and while it was still too tender to scratch, he thought he could endure warm water, as long as it wasn't too warm.

He had just finished his tea when he heard a strange noise at the door. It sounded less like someone knocking than like someone bumping into the door several times, or perhaps dumping a pile of books against the door. He hurried over.

"Hello?" he called. He couldn't hear anything. A movement to the side caught his eye, and he noticed a small mirror, hung by the door, was not reflecting the room, but rather showing the hallway. An owl was crashing into the door, bouncing off, and doing it again. Harry had a panicked moment of thinking the Ministry had noticed his spell and he was about to get expelled, before realizing that the owl was Pigwidgeon. He opened the door, and was hit in the forehead by a chirruping ball of feathers. 

"Hello, Pig."

He coaxed Pig back into the kitchen, which had fewer breakable objects, got the little owl some water, and settled down at the table to read Ron's letter. 

 

> Harry,
> 
> I'm hoping Pig can find you. What happened with the Dursleys? I don't for a moment believe you killed them. (Not that I'd blame you if you had, mate!) If I see Percy, I'll hit him with everything we've ever used on Malfoy, and then some! You should have seen Mum — she was a terror, this morning. She made him a Howler like you wouldn't believe, then didn't send it. Instead she wrote him a second, polite letter saying she understood that he no longer wished to be part of the family, and she accepted his decision. (When Mum gets that sort of polite, it's much worse than yelling.) She sent it off and has been bawling ever since. Ginny just went down to make her some tea and rub her shoulders and such, until Dad gets home. 
> 
> Is all that stuff about how the Dursleys treated you true? You only told me about some of it, but then, you never told me about the bars on your windows, which I saw, so I guess you don't tell me everything. I know you don't like to talk about that place. Still, I know better than to believe everything I read in that paper!
> 
> If you can, send back a note so that we know you're safe. That would make Mum feel better too. 
> 
> Does this have anything to do with the question you asked me last week? I'm afraid Mum talked to Dumbledore about it, but he told her he's quite sure of your parentage. 
> 
> Take care,
> 
> Ron

 

Harry frowned. After Snape's visit to the Dursley's, he had forgotten his father's stated reason for the appearance. He also hated to think that he was making Mrs. Weasley unhappy, even if it wasn't really his fault. After thinking for a while, hampered by the distraction of Pig zooming about the room twittering, he composed a reply:

 

> Ron, 
> 
> Of course I didn't kill the Dursleys! I'd just run away, and didn't hear about it until later. I suppose it does look suspicious though. I am safe (well, as safe as I ever am) and have been in touch with Dumbledore. 
> 
> I'm sorry to be causing problems in your family, though maybe it's for the best that your Mum finally give up on Percy. The more I think about it, the more I wonder why he wasn't in Slytherin. Talk about unfettered ambition! 
> 
> Give her my love, please, and tell her I'll talk to her when I can. 
> 
> The Paternity Charm thing wasn't about me. Some git prankster decided to write me a letter claiming that Malfoy was my bastard half-brother, saying that he wouldn't look so much like his father unless his mother had imposed the look using the Paternity Charm. I've looked it up, though, and it doesn't work like that. Only the traits of the biological father are replaced, so the extent of resemblance (or at least, inherited traits — I suppose they could be recessives (things that don't show, but get passed on)) would be the same. Of course, I immediately suspected your brothers, but I realized I was wrong and have tracked down the actual perpetrator. I'm not going to give you the name, as I have already extracted appropriate vengeance. ("Appropriate", note! Nothing awful.)
> 
> I'll send more information on my whereabouts when I can. Don't write me again until I write to you. Both our owls are pretty distinctive.
> 
> Harry

 

Harry gave Pig the reply. "Go home, now," he said. "No stopping for anyone else, and don't give this to anyone but Ron."

 

The next morning, Harry found woke to find himself alone in the rooms, though he thought he had heard Snape come in, just as he was dropping off to sleep. A house elf appeared out of nowhere and asked him what he would like for breakfast. Harry had shrugged and said "whatever." That, he thought a few minutes later, as he surveyed the laden table, had been a mistake. He now had porridge, dry cereal, milk, cream, fried eggs, fried bread, grilled tomatoes, two kinds of sausages, bacon, kippers, mushrooms, a rack of toast, butter, clotted cream, marmalade, jam, and chutney arrayed in intimidating ranks before him. While Harry was wondering what bits of it to attempt, he heard the door to the hall open and close. Snape walked into the kitchen a moment later, and stopped to gawk. 

"You are _not_ eating that," he declared. 

"I just asked for breakfast," Harry explained, letting his dismay and amusement show. Snape snorted. 

"The house elves are bored," he explained. "It happens every summer. They'll give you a seven-course luncheon, if you're not specific." He went to the cabinet and took out two plates and a bowl. "We'll consider it breakfast for two, then."

"Two?" Harry questioned incredulously. "Sure you wouldn't like to invite a few friends?"

He regretted the words immediately. There was a moment of very tense silence, then Snape said:

"I don't believe you'd survive most of my friends, Harry."

"Or they wouldn't survive me," Harry countered. 

"Possibly," Snape acknowledged. 

Harry wondered to what extent Snape actually considered those people friends, but he did not dare ask. 

"Did anything happen yesterday?" Snape asked.

"I got a letter from Ron in the afternoon, and Hermione at night. I sent them both about the same reply, saying that of course I didn't do it, and that I had run away before it happened, and that I'd been in touch with Dumbledore. Oh — and I told both of them not to write me again unless I wrote first."

"Good." Snape topped a slice of dry toast with ginger marmalade. "Did you have owl treats?" 

"No — I'd run out before I left the Dursleys."

"Ah. Well, I keep some dead rodents in the fourth cabinet." Snape gestured. "The owls, especially the bigger ones, hate flying so far through the corridors. Rewarding them promptly encourages quicker delivery of the post."

"So that what those are for!" Harry exclaimed. He hoped he didn't sound as relieved as he felt. Snape looked amused. "I didn't dare give one to Pig. I was afraid they might be poisoned, or something." 

"No. Anything you might want to drop in someone's tea is in the third cabinet." Snape smiled unpleasantly. "Don't touch anything in there. Some of the labels are ... erroneous."

"I'll keep that in mind. Is everything that looks like food, food?"

"Yes." Snape looked at him curiously. "Can you cook?"

"Of course I can cook! You think the Dursleys had a house elf? Other than me, I mean?"

"I won't pity you for that, Harry." Snape commented coldly. "Too many wizards lack basic skills."

Harry nodded. "All right. Yes, I know how to cook," he said. "And I can clean without magic, and garden. Oh! I wasn't thinking, and lit the fire with a spell, yesterday, when I was making tea. Will I get in trouble?"

Snape sighed. "No one is likely to notice, but you should not have. Perhaps you should leave your wand in your room, except when you will be going outside."

Harry nodded. "That makes sense."

Snape ate some of the toast, then volunteered a comment. "I saw this morning's paper."

"Was that why you were out?"

"Yes. That and to speak to Dumbledore."

"Well?"

"There were many letters to the editor, of course — vilifying you, defending you, demanding that it be made legal to kill any Muggle that intentionally harms a wizard — all manner of things. The front page article, however, had two new data points. First, the Aurors have determined that your aunt's car _was_ magically interfered with."

"What?" Harry yelled.

"This means to me, though the Daily Prophet did not see things as clearly, that the Dark Lord deduced the effect of killing your remaining relatives. The attack was planned to follow the 'accident,' which was also planned."

"But that.... Shouldn't you have known?"

"Yes." Snape grimaced. "And that is disturbing. When I thought the attack may have been opportunistic, I was not as worried that I was not informed. However, if the Dark Lord so deeply distrusts me that I was not informed of a plotted attack, I have a serious problem."

Harry frowned at his toast. "Maybe not," he said. Snape's eyebrows lifted enquiringly. "Now, I mean. Vold-- er, _Tom_ didn't tell you, but I found out anyway, right? Or so it would seem. I left minutes before the attack — probably we were both waiting for dark. That would suggest that the security breach was someone other than you." 

Snape gave a nod of approval. "Yes." He nodded again, to himself. "Dumbledore — I will advise him to say he summoned you. I will rail to the Dark Lord about being kept in the dark, and say I could have watched for such a move." He smiled slightly. "Very good, Harry. I have been too distracted...." 

"Where were you, yesterday?"

"Working on Potions, mainly. Ah. The news."

"There's more?"

"Yes. A better item, for you. Stan and Ernie, of the Knight Bus, told the paper that you were on their bus at the time of the murder, somewhere over Cumbria. There's a rather lengthy interview with them. The paper even tracked down one of the other riders, an old witch from some unpronounceable Welsh town, who said you helped her with her Kneazle's traveling carrier."

Harry nodded. "It barely fit through the door. She just needed it steadied, really."

"Yes, well, I expect they're all talking to Aurors, now. By this time tomorrow, everyone should be blathering about how they knew all along that it wasn't you." 

They finished their respective portions of the breakfast in silence. Harry poured himself more tea. 

"Would you like more, sir?" he asked automatically. Snape nodded consent. 

"I ..." Snape frowned at the cup. "I'll be busy most of the day, again. Is there anything you need before I leave?"

Harry felt very odd. The question seemed both too general and too unexpected to answer. 

"Well?" Snape demanded. "What is that _look_ for?"

"I.... You've no idea how odd it is to be asked that. I've no idea. Why would you care? I mean, people don't ask that, unless they're selling you something." Harry wondered briefly if Dumbledore was paying Snape to look after him, but decided that neither man would play his part in that. 

Snape looked coldly at him. "Considering you appear to know the complete contents of my kitchen already, I would rather you not feel the need to forage for whatever you may feel necessary." 

"Oh. Sorry." Harry looked down. "I stayed out of your bedroom." 

"Believe me," Snape sneered, "I would know, had you not." 

"Ah." Harry thought. "Well, I still need to need to do the practical Potions assignment." 

"Procrastination, Harry?"

"I couldn't figure out how to get the components," Harry explained. "The Dursleys weren't about to buy them for me, and I couldn't risk them finding out I had money in the wizarding world. I'd dropped a hint to Hermione, and hoped she'd send them as a present, but she didn't." 

"So you want to know if you can raid the school stores," Snape guessed. 

"Or if I could go into Diagon Alley early." 

"You can get potions ingredients in Hogsmeade, you know." 

"Can I get money, though?"

Snape stared. "Of course you can get money!"

"Really? I've always been to my vault." 

"Gringotts prefers it, but if you go to another branch, they can have the adjustments made." Snape looked back at the paper. "We'll take a trip into Hogsmeade, but I am not helping you once I've shown you to the apothecary. Part of the assignment is seeing if you can acquire the correct components."

"Today?" Harry was excited about the prospect of going into the wizarding village. Even with Snape along, he ought to be able to enjoy it, he reasoned. 

"In case you have forgotten, Mr — Harry, you stand accused of murder. You will attract unwelcome attention. Furthermore, I do not have time, today, as I have already told you. If your reputation continues to improve, we will go tomorrow. In addition to the apothecary visit, I would like to get you some acceptable clothing as soon as possible." 

Harry felt at once annoyed that Snape would interfere with what he wore and strangely pleased that he thought it mattered. 

"May I have trousers, at least?" he demanded

"I have no objection to decent trousers."

"Good." Harry bit his lip. "You know, you don't seem too bad, as a guardian. Sirius would have been more...."

"Indulgent?" Snape suggested. 

"Sort of. And affectionate. But he.... Well, never mind." Harry didn't want to talk about Sirius to someone who had hated him — certainly not when what he had to say was less than fully complimentary. Harry pressed his thumb into a leftover crust of toast, crushing it into crumbs. "What do think it takes to be a good father?"

Even in its neutral phrasing, the question made him wince as soon as it left his mouth. Snape considered it impassively. 

"I expect," he said, "that it would require being a good person, which I am not." His face was slightly scornful as he looked at Harry. "Of course, your expectations are so low as to be virtually non-existent." 

Harry laughed. "You know," he confided, "I agreed to go live with Sirius half-an-hour after meeting him, though I'd had him at wand-point most of that. Being convinced he wasn't a mass murderer was enough for me. If you hadn't let Pettigrew escape...."

Snape stood up. "You must understand, Harry, that it was scarcely credible Pettigrew could manage such a thing, while Black customarily charmed people into believing the most ridiculous tales. Certainly he could hoodwink three children and his pet werewolf." 

_And Sirius was the one you hated,_ Harry amended to himself, but he restrained his reaction to a slight shrug. "It's done, now."

Snape looked almost sympathetic as he nodded. "Yes." He looked appraisingly at Harry. "You might want to consider...."

"What?"

"I _am_ a mass murderer." With that, Snape turned and left, his boots clicking sharply against the stone floor, muting over the carpet, then clicking again as he left it. The outer door closed behind him with a muted clunk of wood against stone. Harry sat quietly in the kitchen while he waited for his heart to stop racing. 

"Okay, James," he murmured. "Still kind of creepy. Agreed." 

 

After finishing his tea, Harry decided to distract himself by perfecting his other homework. He spent some time in the library, adding additional information and references to his summer Transfiguration essay. Madam Pince was able to teach him a spell that created a copy of James's letter, as well. Afterwards, he prowled around the empty classrooms on the second floor. Everything looked very still and old in the summer silence. He stared out a dusty window at the bright summer day. His attention moved to the distant pennants of the Quidditch stands. He wished he could fly. He decided to go see if Dumbledore was available, so he could ask him if he had found the ring, yet. 

On the stairs, he met Remus Lupin. 

"Harry!" Lupin said brightly. "Good to see you. I've been busy settling in, but I think I'm nearly through it."

"Good."

"I've reviewed what you learned last year...."

"Useless propaganda."

"To put it rudely, yes," Lupin agreed. He sighed. "I recall you taught some students supplemental lessons...."

Harry shuddered. He had, and then led some of them off on wild goose chase that had cost Sirius his life. 

Remus seemed to understand what Harry was thinking. "The lessons themselves, Harry, were a good idea. I'd like to know who was in the group and what they learned, so they can possibly help me with coaching, to bring the others up to speed as quickly as possible." 

Numbly, Harry nodded.

"I was just heading back to my rooms for some lunch. Perhaps you could come with me and discuss it now?"

Harry hesitated. What he really wanted to talk about was Sirius, and Lupin was possibly the only person in the world he could talk to about Sirius. On the other hand, the sudden revival of his guilt had taken him by surprise — he supposed he simply hadn't had the energy for it, before — and he didn't want to break down in front of Lupin. He was strongly aware of the contents of his schoolbag — in with the books and essays was James's letter, and the copy of it that Madam Pince had just shown him how to make. He wanted to show the letter to Lupin, as desperately as he had on the day he read the section on Severus and the Marauders, but he knew he couldn't. He couldn't tell Lupin about his parentage. Not only had he promised to keep it a secret, for now, but ... Harry suspected he was being foolish, but couldn't quite get past the idea that Lupin might not bother with him, anymore. _Lupin likes James's son._

"Would another time be better?" Lupin asked gently.

Harry suddenly remembered his promise to Snape. "No, it's.... This is silly, but I promised Professor Snape I wouldn't visit you without telling him first. He says he won't bother me about visiting you, but only if I tell him where and when. I think he's in his lab, now...."

"Honestly!" Lupin rolled his eyes. The gesture did not quite cover his hurt look. He raised a hand to forestall Harry's attempted response. "Very well, I rescind the invitation. Really, Harry — I know you've braved dragons and basilisks and all number of things, but you don't want to disturb Severus while he's brewing!" Lupin smiled engagingly. "Instead, I invite you to come with me to The Three Broomsticks, noon tomorrow. I have shopping to do in Hogsmeade, and I've heard you do, as well." He smiled mischievously. "Tell him that, and let me know what he says." 

 

During the afternoon, Harry was summoned to Dumbledore's office, where two Aurors — one of them, reassuringly, Tonks — took his testimony on what he had done the day the Dursley's were attacked. Tonks performed Priori Incantantum on Harry's wand, and Harry, who had forgotten about the duel, had to explain the huge number of hexes he had cast the previous day. He was never questioned about Incendio.

"Well, whatever else you may have been up to," Tonks teased, after getting back to spells Harry had cast during spring term, "you didn't hex your aunt's car."

"With this wand," her partner amended. He smiled apologetically at Tonks's indignant glare. "No offense, Tonks, but we've got to be precise for the report." He glanced over at Harry. "I don't think he did it either." 

Harry was dismissed without a chance to socialize, though Tonks gave him a wink as he was leaving. 

 

Snape showed up at the end of the afternoon, looking pleased. 

"Nothing exploded, I take it?" Harry asked. 

"Nothing exploded," Snape agreed. "In fact, my new compound seems to work as I predicted, though I will need further testing to be completely certain." He shrugged. Harry thought he looked uncommonly relaxed. "For once, I found myself at a good stopping point near a meal time. How was your day?"

"Mostly boring," Harry replied. "I went up to the library to add some things to my essays — I've spent so much time on my summer work this year that Hermione would probably approve of it. On the way back, I ran into Professor Lupin, and he invited me back to his rooms for lunch, which probably would have been the highlight of my day, but I told him I'd promised you I'd tell you if I was going to visit him, and then he looked hurt. I might have gone anyway, but I'd been brooding about things, and knew if I went somewhere alone with him I'd want to tell him everything."

Snape nodded. "Secrecy is important right now."

"You'd think Dumbledore would want the order to know."

Snape shook his head. "Your parentage has nothing to do with what makes you significant, in this game. And don't say 'the order.'"

"What do I say?" Harry asked sarcastically. "'You-Know-What?'"

"Say, 'the old crowd' or 'his old crowd,' or whatever form blends best with the context."

"Not your old crowd."

"No. My old crowd is mostly dead, or in Azkaban. Of course, his old crowd is mostly dead." 

Harry stared at Snape. The man's face was lined, but his hair was black. He did some quick arithmetic in his head. 

"You're still in your thirties, aren't you? You and Lupin and Peter and most of the Death Eaters...."

Snape's face twisted unpleasantly. "Yes." He surveyed Harry with something between scorn and pity. "You will be old even younger, I fear."

Harry snickered. "Should I live so long."

"Don't fall into that." 

"Into what?"

"Plan to live. It encourages you to make choices you can live with." 

The comment reminded Harry of James writing that Severus had a death wish. He glanced toward his room, where he had put his schoolbag. 

"Point taken. Um ... two quick things?"

"Go ahead."

"Lupin invited me to meet him in the Three Broomsticks at noon, tomorrow. He said he knew I had shopping to do." 

Snape frowned. For a moment his mouth stayed tightly closed, then he said, "I can't object to that, I suppose. And I'd been wondering how to bring you into Hogsmeade without it being obvious I could easily kidnap you. If Lupin walks there with us, and then the two of you go off," Snape grimaced, "it will seem as if he is to watch me. He can bring you to Gladrags at one o'clock, and I'll arrange cover for the return. Sufficient?"

Harry nodded, pleased. "The other thing is that I got called into Dumbledore's office, and interrogated by a couple of Aurors." 

"What!"

"Well, it wasn't a big deal. I mean, one of them was Tonks, right? But they performed _Priori Incantantum_ on my wand, so I had to explain all the hexes from yesterday."

"Oh hell!" Despite the annoyed exclamation, Snape looked rather amused.

"So Dumbledore may ask you why we were dueling. You can tell him I was just in a bad mood, or that we decided to try Occlumency after I was emotionally burned out, or whatever you like. I just told them it was a practice duel." 

"Still, the headmaster should have warned me they were here! Anything else?"

Harry looked down, feeling suddenly shy. "Um... the letter?"

"What letter?"

"The one I got from James. Do you still want to read it?"

When Snape did not reply, Harry forced himself to look up. Snape was staring at him, fear and longing surprisingly plain on his usually wry or angry face. 

"When I was up at the library, I asked Madam Pince to show me how to copy a manuscript. She taught me a charm, and I copied the letter for you." Harry stood up. "I'll go get it. Just one thing...."

"What?"

"You can't make fun of anything he said, or use it against me. It's a personal letter, and I can't cut out the personal parts, because they're too interwoven."

Snape looked down. "Agreed."

"May I see her letter to you?"

"Is that a condition?"

"No." 

"I will consider it."

When Harry handed the letter to Snape, Snape's hands were shaking, but, to Harry's surprise, he tucked the letter into an inner pocket of his robes. 

"I suspect that if I want to eat dinner, I'll need to do it first. Have you spoken to the kitchen elves, yet?"

 


	13. Virtues and Appearances

 

"Well." Lupin looked intently at Harry across a table in the Three Broomsticks. Harry wasn't sure what he was expected to say. The walk in had been awkward. The night before, Snape had retreated to his room with the letter and not re-emerged. He had been gone when Harry woke up, and returned to the room just in time to leave for Hogsmeade. His one comment on the matter, just as they were coming up the stairs, was that the history was truthful, but with interesting omissions. He also remarked that he had forgotten about the mice. Of course, once they had met up with Lupin, he had just made growling comments whenever Lupin tried to start a conversation with Harry.

Harry realized Lupin was still waiting. "Well what?" he prompted.

"Has Professor Snape persuaded you to distrust me, or are you merely humoring him? You don't smell at all frightened."

Harry twitched slightly at the comment about his scent. Lupin seemed almost to be deliberately reminding him what he was. He decided that was probably a test, and relaxed. "I'm just humoring him," he said. 

"Why?"

The question was blatantly aggressive. Harry began to feel slightly annoyed. 

"Because he's my host. He wanted me not to see you at all. I wanted to see you whenever I liked. We compromised."

"What do you mean, _your host?_ "

"I'm staying in his rooms. Dumbledore wanted me with a staff member."

"Staff, fine, but Severus?!" Lupin's eyes were wide with astonishment. "I'll talk to the headmaster, Harry. I'm sure he'll let you stay with me, instead."

"No."

At Harry's quiet answer, Lupin shrank back. "Surely...." he began. He stopped. Harry's refusal had obviously wounded him. "Harry," he tried, his voice shaky, "I... you used to...."

"Professor Lupin, please! I _do_ like you better than Snape, and I trust you more, as well. I trust you about as much as I trust anybody, so _please_ don't look at me like that. It's just ... Dumbledore has asked Professor Snape and me to learn to get along. I'm trying." Harry swallowed. "If I'd tried last year, Sirius might still be alive." 

Lupin sat silently for a minute, his face a blank mask. Finally, he nodded. "I understand, Harry. I will respect that." A quick grimace crossed his features. "Nonetheless, whatever you promised, if Severus gives you any trouble, you are always welcome to come to me."

"Because I'm James's son." Harry couldn't keep the cynical response back. 

Lupin looked startled. "James and Lily's child would be dear to me in any case, Harry. But I know you now, and you are dear to me as yourself. Don't ever think otherwise."

Harry felt a block of tension loosen in his mind. "Thank you, professor," he said quietly. "I think I needed to hear that."

Lupin reached across the table and laid his hand briefly on Harry's arm. "Too many people love you for what you are, rather than who you are. I know this. I am not one of them."

"Thanks." Harry slumped over the table. "I miss Sirius so much." 

Lupin nodded. "I do too."

"If I wasn't so reckless!"

"If he wasn't as much so!" Lupin chided. "Harry, listen to me. I will not say none of it was your fault. Clearly some part was. I will say that every trait of yours that made you susceptible to such folly had been, to some extent, encouraged by him, and was present in him to at least as great a degree. Do you understand?"

Harry nodded silently, afraid of losing control if he spoke. 

"I admire how you are trying to correct the situation with Severus. Certainly if any of us had paid such attention to our weaknesses when we were your age, many things might have been different."

Harry nodded again. "Thank you, professor," he managed.

"Harry..." Lupin hesitated. "At Hogwarts, during school term," he said firmly, "I am Professor Lupin. The rest of the time ... I would be pleased to have you call me Remus."

Harry felt a smile moving his cheeks, though his eyes still stung with trapped sorrow. 

"Thank you ... Remus," he said. The name felt odd in his mouth. "Remus," he tried again. He looked anxiously at Lupin. "I better not mess up and call you that in class!" The shocking image of that helped break his grief, slightly. He smiled. 

"I promise I won't take too many points from Gryffindor," Lupin laughed. "I will, however, look frightfully shocked at your impertinence." 

Madam Rosmerta came over to their table with two butterbeers and some bread and cheese. 

"Why Remus Lupin!" she exclaimed. "Harry didn't warn me!"

"You know I like to arrive unexpected, Rosmerta," Lupin teased. "Nothing enhances your beautiful face so much as a blush of surprise." 

"Which is the only kind of blush you'll bring to it," Madam Rosmerta returned tartly, but she followed the retort with a kind smile. "Are you back at the school, Remus?"

"For the year." Lupin winked at her. "So I will be able to enjoy your dazzling company whenever the mood strikes me." 

"As long as it's between dinner and two AM on a day that you don't have office hours."

Lupin sighed. "Always the literalist." 

Madam Rosmerta smiled as she unloaded their drinks and food. "Well, make it soon, then!" With that, she tripped off to serve someone at the bar. 

Lupin turned back to Harry. "Really, it ... it was starting to bother me, last spring, that he was Sirius, and I was 'Professor Lupin'. Of course, this doesn't mean I will forget that I am the adult, as he often did. You may consider me as an uncle, not a peer."

Harry looked down. "He got angry at me for refusing to meet him in Hogsmeade, last year," he confessed.

"What?!" Lupin roared in astonishment.

"He said James would have done it." 

Lupin looked indignant. "And James would have done. He was a brave, foolish child with none of your experience. He had no concept of loss or death as anything but a story in the Daily Prophet, and had everything he wanted handed to him on a silver platter. He'd go out of his way for trouble." Lupin shook his head sadly. "Dear, friendly, clever Sirius. And temperamental, foolhardy, willful..." He sighed. "Everyone has their good points and their bad. I miss him terribly."

"What are my bad points?" Harry asked outright. 

Lupin sighed, but gave the matter serious thought. At last, he said:

"You are reckless and moody. You have a bad temper, though you usually control it enough to not pass from yelling to irrevocable actions. You have a unique combination of too much confidence and too little. You are secretive and distrustful. You _hate_ , to a frightening degree, although not readily. You procrastinate." He looked inquisitively at Harry. "Did I get them all?"

Harry shrugged. "I wouldn't have thought of the 'hate' bit, though I suppose you're right. You forgot overly proud and stubborn."

Lupin shrugged. "Both of which are the negative manifestations of a strength. As is recklessness. You know the saying that a weed is a plant in the wrong place? A character flaw is a virtue in the wrong place. Bravery at the wrong time is recklessness. Independence at the wrong time is pride or arrogance or reclusiveness."

Harry nodded understanding. 

"Here's an exercise," Lupin said, tearing a piece off the bread. "List all the virtues of someone you hate." He took a bite. "Draco Malfoy," he suggested. 

"Well, he's... clever?"

"As his former teacher, I can confirm this. Go on." 

"Er... creative."

"Yes."

"Determined?"

"Yes."

Lupin continued to look expectantly at Harry. Harry finally shrugged. "That's all I can think of."

"Hm. Well, let's look at this another way. What are young Mr. Malfoy's faults?"

"He's spoiled, and arrogant, and cruel. He's a bigot, and a sycophant- —"

"Really? I'd always seen him in charge of his own little group."

"Yes, but put him with anyone more powerful and he's at their feet." 

"Not anyone, clearly. He's barely respectful of Dumbledore." 

"Anyone who will allot him power in return."

"Ah. So he is adaptable, resourceful, and perceptive?"

Harry grimaced. "I suppose." 

"So let's go over the rest of your list. Can you find the positive components of 'spoiled' and 'arrogant?'"

Harry chewed on some bread and cheese and thought for a bit. "Confident and poised?" he said finally. 

"Apt," Lupin agreed. "We'll skip 'cruel' — even I can't get anything out of.... No, of course I can. James and Sirius were often cruel. He is focused, energetic, forceful ... all the things that kept me with James and Sirius at the worst of their other expressions of it." He hesitated. "'Bigot,' I think, is our hardest one. Don't try to think of a good side to that, by itself, just to Draco's form of it." 

Harry stared at his butterbeer as if it were a crystal ball. He didn't see that there was anything good he say about Draco calling Hermione a mudblood and hoping she would be killed. The Slytherin was the crudest expression of all his father's veiled hate ... Suddenly, he had it. 

"Draco is loyal to his family and to the principles he was raised to value." 

"Exactly." Lupin finished his butterbeer. "Draco is amazingly principled, in his own twisted way. He has as much honor as any Gryffindor — it has just all been directed from anything you would recognize to maintaining the importance of his family. I find him very disturbing, really. I've occasionally found myself hoping teenage rebellion would rescue him from his past. Has he improved any?"

"He was worse, last year."

"Perhaps having his father in jail will help. It is unlikely, but with Lucius gone, better influences may emerge in the family."

"Or it will just cement his hatred." 

"That is more likely," Lupin conceded. 

 

At five of one, they left for Gladrags. Snape was not yet there, so Remus picked out a few robes for Harry to try while they were waiting. 

"You don't need to stay," Harry called from the changing room.

"Of course I do. You're not supposed to be left unprotected. Besides, I want to see how you look in that green and gold one." 

Harry looked at himself in the mirror. He was still recognizable as Harry Potter, but he could detect slight changes in his appearance. Standing next to Remus had made it clear he had grown in the last month. Other changes confronted him from his reflection. His hair had flattened out slightly on the top, though it retained a wave further down. Bits of the fringe were in his eyes. Harry pushed them aside, and they stayed, but they also felt heavy. 

"I washed it yesterday afternoon," he muttered. "Am I going to have to shower every morning?" He looked again, and decided his hair didn't look dirty. Maybe it was supposed to feel like that. A bit of fringe fell forward again. He shook it back. His face looked about the same, so far.

He pulled off his shirt, stepped back from the mirror and surveyed his body. _I might look a bit different, but I can't be sure. I don't usually look at myself, like this. Is my torso longer? I look so starved, it's hard to tell._

He twisted in the jeans, trying to see himself from behind. It was the pair from Ron, despite Snape's disapproval, so it wasn't hanging grotesquely off him, but it didn't really fit, either, and was threadbare in places. Sighing, Harry slipped out of the jeans and reached for the green robe. 

"Remus?" he called.

"Still here. Do you need something else?"

"I was just wondering ... Snape says Muggle clothing is obscene."

To Harry's relief, Remus laughed. Harry hadn't thought Snape's attitude could be commonplace among wizards of that age. _The Weasley kids all have some Muggle clothing, and their parents are even older. And Remus wears trousers, himself._ "So, you don't think I'm 'displaying myself' in jeans?" he teased.

"Dear child, you have a lovely arse and gorgeous eyes, and will no doubt be stunning in five or ten years. Now, please tell your overly domineering host that I have not been interested in boys your age since I was one, will you?"

Harry was tremendously grateful that he was in the changing room, where Remus could see neither his changing expressions, nor the hot red that was sweeping his face. When he thought he could make his voice light, he called back, "That was a 'yes.'"

"What?"

Harry arranged the robe. It did look good, but he wasn't sure he could bear anything that made his already conspicuous eyes so much more dramatic. "You _do_ think I'm displaying myself in jeans."

"Absolutely. I'm not convinced that's a bad thing — you should be old enough to sort through any offers you get from your peers." 

Harry stepped out. Remus made him walk across the shop and back. "Sev had best give it up," he teased. "You'll have admirers no matter what you wear."

"I'm not sure...." Harry muttered.

"Harry, do you have any idea what that does to your eyes? I could pick you out as Lily's son from the length of the Quidditch pitch."

"I won't be wearing green on the Quidditch pitch," Harry said sharply. 

"Ah, I see. House colors?" Remus smiled sadly. "The association does fade, in time. Still, wear some green — it would be a waste not to." A serious look settled on his face. "Harry ..." he began hesitantly. 

Both looked over at a cricket-like chirp from the creature guarding the shop door. Severus Snape was slipping through the narrow entrance. "Later," Remus muttered.

Snape saw them immediately. He walked over to Harry, as if Remus did not exist. 

"That's very attractive, Harry. It goes well with your eyes."

Harry tried not to think about Snape having just commented, positively yet, on his appearance. "Yeah," he muttered. "We were just talking about that." 

His father shot Remus a glare that made Harry cringe. Remus seemed immune to it. 

"Look," Harry said. "If you can tell me it goes with my eyes, he can tell me it goes with my eyes, okay? It's not a problem."

"Then why are you upset?" Snape demanded, rounding on him. 

"I ..." Harry gave up on inventing anything. "I don't like people noticing my eyes." 

"What?" Snape was obviously astonished by this. Remus nodded thoughtfully to himself.

"I don't like people noticing my eyes, or my scar, or ... or me, really. I look weird. When people look at me, they know who I am, and then they think they know if they like me or not, and ...." Harry swallowed. "I just want to be anonymous." 

The two men were silent for a minute. 

"Well," said Snape finally. "Perhaps we can find you something in mouse-brown."

"Lovely idea," Remus agreed, with only a trace less sarcasm. "Wait here, Harry — I think I saw something likely back in work robes." 

For five minutes, Harry got to watch his father and Remus Lupin cooperating, united by the common goal of dressing Harry in the most hideous robes available. As he edged out in the third one — a kind of dirty beige thing with numerous pleats that seemed designed to accommodate a wearer with the girth of Uncle Vernon, Remus sighed. 

"It's no use, Harry," he said glumly.

Snape smirked. "Professor Lupin is correct. You are still recognizably Harry Potter." He lifted his eyebrows as he perused offending robes once more. "You might as well submit to decent clothing."

Harry laughed and went back to trying on his and Remus's original selections. He ended up with the green robes, and another set in a red so dark it was almost black, except for folds that the light hit directly, which shone like glowing coals. Remus found him some black trousers and grey trousers that Snape decreed to be acceptable, and basic white and black shirts, then waved to Harry and headed out the door. Snape added some socks and some undergarments that reminded Harry of the sort of things bicycle racers wore, except these were made of knit natural fabrics — some cotton, some silk. After paying for it, Snape requested their purchases be sent to Hogwarts, then took Harry next door to buy boots and walking shoes. 

 

In the apothecary, Harry bought the necessary potions components and a selection of toiletries. He expected they would head back to school afterwards, but Snape led him back down the street.

"Shouldn't we get back for dinner?" Harry asked.

"We have plenty of time for a drink," Snape replied. 

"I really think--"

"Not frightened to head back in the twilight, Potter, are you?"

Harry was about to object to the "Potter" when he remembered they were in public. Snape might have some reason to take them to a spot with more witnesses. 

Outside the Three Broomsticks, they met Professor McGonagall, who was looking rather irritated.

"There you are! Professor Dumbledore seemed to believe you needed an escort back to Hogwarts. Come along, now."

"I am quite competent to protect the boy without assistance, Minerva. We will back before the start of dinner."

"Severus," McGonagall said tightly, "The headmaster has given me an order. We are returning now." 

Snape harumphed, but turned down the road towards Hogwarts. Harry wondered if the entire encounter had been scripted for an unseen audience — someone that might expect Snape to turn Harry over to them, for example. McGonagall turned her attention to Harry. 

"Good evening, Mr. Potter. I hear you will be staying at Hogwarts for the rest of the summer."

"Yes," Harry agreed. "I haven't seen you—" 

"I'm afraid I am not at the school often, during the summer months. I will be leaving again tomorrow, and will not return until a week before the start of classes. I hope Professor Snape is treating you adequately?" 

She shot a disapproving glance at Snape as she said this. Harry felt obliged to defend him. 

"Oh, yes. He's been fine." 

"Well, you have friends around the school, Harry, even during the summer."

"Yes, professor." Harry lowered his voice. "Professor Lupin has noted that already." He was sure the Potions master could hear, but Snape gave no indication. They walked, mostly in silence, until the reached the castle. In the Entrance Hall, Harry nodded to McGonagall. 

"See you at dinner, Professor." 

Snape nodded more curtly. "Minerva."

He swept down to the dungeons, with Harry following.

Down a flight of stairs, Snape spoke. 

"Lupin told he would protect you, did he?"

"From you, anyway," Harry replied. "Don't tell me you're surprised."

"'Surprised' would be if he did anything." 

 

Harry washed his hair with things he had bought at the apothecary and dressed in the green robes. He emerged to find Snape waiting for him. Snape stood up. He walked once around Harry and nodded. 

"Much better." He gestured to the door. "Now, recall that this is summer. This is a staff dinner. I would like to say that people will be on their best behavior with a student present, but I hardly think it likely. However, I do expect an acceptable standard of behavior from you. Is that clear?" 

"Fine," Harry said, rolling his eyes at the back of Snape's cloak. Snape turned. 

"What?"

"Yes, that's clear, sir," Harry said. 

Snape looked him over. "Better," he said shortly. "Though I still don't like that tone." 

Harry ignored him. 

 

Harry was expecting dinner to be either a stodgy affair or a confusing muddle of adult in-jokes, but the moment he entered, a familiar figure with unnaturally scarlet hair ran over to great him. 

"Harry!" 

Harry found he didn't at all mind a hug from Tonks, even though she stepped on his foot. 

"Sorry, Harry! How are you doing? You're pretty much set with the Ministry. I'm sorry it was all business, yesterday, but that is part of my job." She stepped back and grinned at him. "You look stunning! What're you all dressed up for?"

"Dinner," Snape interjected coldly. "Some people do that, Miss Tonks. Sit down, Mr. Potter." 

Harry dared a wink at Tonks, who grinned at him reply, then sat compliantly at the single table, near the foot. Tonks sat on the other side of the table, a few chairs up, near Dumbledore. Over dinner, she assured them that the Ministry had cleared Harry as a suspect, though he might still be required to give formal testimony. 

"When does Fudge plan to convey this to the Muggle minister?" Snape asked. 

Tonks looked worried. "He claims that's underway ... the problem is, no one knows anyone who has it as an assignment, so it's got to still be at the negotiation level."

 


	14. Tension and Boredom

 

Tension and Boredom

 

"You said you were bored, yesterday." 

Harry looked suspiciously at Snape. He had been bored every day but the one he had gone to Hogsmeade, two days earlier. Boredom wasn't his favorite thing, but there were things he liked less.

"Do you feel capable of assisting me in the brewing of some simple potions?" Snape prodded.

"Like what?"

"Healing potions, Pepper-Up potions, Calming Draughts ... I'll handle the sleeping potions and pain-killing potions myself."

"What for?" _Can I have some? I'm tired of everything hurting._

Snape snorted. "In slightly over two weeks, the student population descends on this school in an unruly swarm, busily renewing old friendships and enmities — especially enmities. First week of school is one of the top three weeks of the year for fights. Poppy likes to have her stores ready." 

"Is that what you're so busy with?"

"That and a few special projects." Snape's face, which had been, until now, surprising relaxed, twisted into a bitter sneer. "One for each of my masters." 

_Voldemort and Dumbledore,_ Harry thought. "Are they related?"

"Yes. They always are." Snape stood. "But you need not bother with that, Harry. Experimental potions work is far beyond your abilities. Furthermore, I trust no one's discretion but my own."

Harry sat back. "Look," he said harshly. "If you want me to help, drop it on the insults. You don't have a clue how good I am at Potions." Snape glared warningly in response, but Harry continued, while he had the nerve. _"I_ don't have a clue how good I am at Potions, honestly. You're always letting the Slytherin students sabotage my stuff, you never tell Muggle-raised students half of what they need to know, and half the time I'm in your class I'm too angry to remember anything."

Snape scowled. He leaned over the table, his face coming threateningly close. "Then learn to keep your temper," he hissed. At a shout, he continued, "If you are only competent when things are going well, you are not competent!"

Harry crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't you talk to me about temper."

_"I_ can do my work when I'm angry!"

"Fine. Go do it, then." Harry got up and strode over to his door.

"And what will you do? Sulk in your room all day?"

Harry turned in the door. "Go up to the astronomy tower, smoke Muggle drugs, and practice aeromancy."

Snape smirked as if he had won. "You'll be bored out of your mind in ten minutes." 

"Better that than listen to you," Harry retorted, digging furiously through his trunk. He hadn't had any more of the cigarettes since his first day here, and they had drifted towards the bottom. 

"Well, when you get desperate, it's the second left past the classroom," Snape volunteered. He seemed to have regained his control now that Harry had lost his. "And Harry — there are only five students here that I consider competent to assist in a serious experiment," he said awkwardly. "It's not much of an insult."

Harry found the pack, finally, and sat back on his heels, ignoring the mess his left by his search. "All seventh-year Slytherins?" he challenged.

"Mr. Malfoy of Slytherin, two of the Ravenclaw seventh years, one of the Ravenclaw fifth years, and ... Miss Granger." Snape said the last name as if it tasted sour.

Harry was incensed. Snape thought Hermione was one of his top five students? "I dare you to tell her that!" he shouted.

"I don't need to tell her anything. She knows quite well." 

Harry stalked close. Snape was not as intimidatingly tall as he remembered him being. Harry pushed into the man's personal space, as Snape had often done to him, stretching up so that he had to tilt his head back as little as possible to look Snape in the eyes. 

"You coward!" he spat. "You're _still_ afraid to admire the Mudblood girl." He whirled quickly and strode for the door, hoping his difficulty in getting the slur out had not been as apparent to Snape as to him. He made it out into the hallway without Snape returning a word. As soon as he turned the corner, he ran. 

Ten minutes, he thought later, as he stared at the wispy clouds, had been an optimistic estimate. He'd smoked two cigarettes, determined he had six left, and was not the least bit interested in trying to read his future from the sky. He wondered if he could remember all the ingredients in a basic Calming Draught. He wondered if he smelled as bad as he thought he did. He wondered what Snape actually thought of him.

 

**********

 

Severus couldn't manage to say anything, or even to move, as the boy left. _"You're still afraid to admire the Mudblood girl."_ And it was true, he admitted silently, with the vague stirring of shame that always filled him when he spoke to her, belittling her considerable accomplishments, or berating her interference in the work of her less competent classmates. He admired her command of the materials, the sureness of her hands, the accuracy of her eye, the way she continued to perform with precision, even under his derision. She wasn't beautiful, as Lily had been, and her spirit was demeaned by a fussiness that was all too easy to ridicule. He was in no danger of an inappropriate attraction. He could pause by her desk, some day, and say "well done."

It was easy to claim he did not do this because it would jeopardize his standing with the Death Eaters through the children they had in that class, but that had not been a real issue until Voldemort's return. With a little more honesty, he could claim that he did not do so because she needed the praise too much. She received it, in quantity, from other teachers, and she was addicted to it. The girl was too eager to please. Although somewhat true, that was also not the reason. Such talent in a Muggle-born girl angered him, and that this plain, fussy creature reminded him of Lily angered him still more. 

_"You're still afraid to admire the Mudblood girl."_ But Harry — Harry did not use words like that, even in quotes. Severus would have sworn to that. Yet he had, and there had been no hint of quotes, just anger. Anger at him, rather than at the girl, but it had been enough to cause him to hurl the word out, just the same. Severus found that painful, in itself, quite apart from what Harry had said. He couldn't understand why. Surely if Harry had been sorted into Slytherin, he would say such things quite casually; Severus would not have thought twice about it, in a private conversation. 

Severus closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose, where a headache was gathering. He doubted there was any point in hiking up to the Astronomy Tower, just to rediscover that he was incapable of apologizing. Besides, he needed to work on healing potions. 

 

Severus had just started adding mistletoe berries to the second cauldron when he felt someone come to the door behind him. He glanced down at the polished silver cauldron and was able to make out enough of the reflected form to see that it was Harry, standing in the doorway in trousers and a shirt, rather than robes. He felt a curious lightening in his heart. _I will not gloat._

"You were wrong you know," Harry remarked idly.

Severus didn't look up. "Oh?"

"It didn't take nearly ten minutes." 

"Stir that first cauldron then. I can start a third, that way." 

Harry approached slowly. "Which way?"

"It's Camilla's Bruise Salve."

Harry snorted. "Like that tells me anything."

"Mistletoe berries are a primary ingredient," Severus hinted. 

"So?" Harry sounded belligerent as well as annoyed. "Does that have anything to do with the stirring?"

Severus was startled enough to turn. "Don't you have any idea why things are stirred counterclockwise?" he asked.

"I thought it was just ... random."

"Counterclockwise stirring weakens the mundane properties of the ingredients — for example, the toxicity of mistletoe, or the antipathy of oil and water — and strengthens the magical properties. Since mistletoe is very toxic, you must stir it vigorously counterclockwise, for a rather long time, but a number of stirs divisible by nine, because it is a northern plant associated with life, death, and the divine."

"You are shitting me," Harry said incredulously.

"This is very basic —"

"Great. Ever consider _telling_ us?"

"Any eleven year-old should already know —"

"Who was going to tell me this? Uncle Vernon?!"

"I'm sure it was in one of your texts —"

"If it was in a text, Hermione would know it! She memorizes them, just like I do — just like I try to, anyway."

"Harry, please stir the potion counterclockwise, counting to nine repeatedly, before the mixture is ruined." Severus flipped over a sandglass. "Continue for at least this long. We will discuss it when we are not both keeping count." 

_Lily, what do I do with him? He might as well be Muggle-born himself. He doesn't know anything!_

By the time the sands had run through, Severus was a little calmer. "It had never occurred to me to explain that principle, Harry. I will add it to the review curriculum." 

Harry snorted. "Better late than never," he quoted.

"So, now that you understand it," Snape pressed quickly, ignoring the comment, "tell me which direction I should stir an Ignatios Pain Killing Potion."

"Er ... counterclockwise? Because of the bitter almond?"

"Close, but it was a trick question. Can you answer completely?"

Harry frowned, then suddenly perked up. "Clockwise for the first set of ingredients," he said, "then counterclockwise after adding the bitter almond." 

"Exactly. Exact count does not matter — the potion has a target consistency. Help me with the preparation."

"Give me some when it's done?"

Severus twitched. He looked back at Harry, who appeared anxious, but sincere. 

"Why on earth would you need a pain killer?

"I don't know! I just know everything hurts. I've had a headache for over a week, now. I'm sick of it!" 

_Since he came here, approximately,_ Severus thought. "And you've no idea why?"

"None." 

"Were you taking any other Muggle drugs?"

"No," Harry growled. He pulled the echinacea stalks into place in front of him. "Quarter inch slices, isn't it?"

"Or slightly smaller." 

"It started a few days after you came to the Dursleys. I thought it wasn't getting enough food, at first. Then when I came here I though maybe I'd picked up enough of an addiction to the cigarettes that I needed them. But they don't make any difference. It's not lack of water either, and more tea doesn't help." 

Severus glanced over. 

"I do not dispense medicines. You'll need to talk to Madam Pomfrey." 

"Who won't believe that I don't know." 

"Nonetheless, I suggest you speak to her. If you are in constant pain, she should be told."

"But what if it's related to ...."

"To what?" Severus snapped. 

"To us being related. To the spell wearing off. I've been under a spell for over sixteen years, and it's ending. Could that hurt?"

Severus had to consider that. The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed. Not only was sixteen years a long time to be enchanted, but it was an enchantment affecting the body. Appraisingly, he looked at Harry. Hadn't the boy seemed taller this morning?

"Stand up," he said.

Slowly, Harry stood. Severus looked at his feet. The new grey trousers just brushed the tops of his shoes, though Severus was quite sure he had requested they be hemmed a bit long. Severus looked up at his face, and tried to decide if it was more angular than it had been, or if it just seemed that way because the boy was too thin. He was still recognizably Harry Potter, with a strong resemblance to James, if one could imagine an undernourished James with neatly combed hair. As Severus reached that conclusion, Harry, apparently tired of being examined, gave him back an inquiring, sarcastic look that was like nothing that had ever crossed James Potter's face. 

"You ...." Severus had to sit down. 

"Are you done staring at me? I what?"

_You are my child!_ Severus wanted to scream. _Mine. Lily, damn everything, what the fuck do I do?_

"Get out," he managed. 

"What?"

"Get OUT!" _And that hurt, frightened look — he'll either scream at me or run...._ "Come back in an hour," Severus managed to force out, before Harry did anything. "It's not you." Harry nodded wordlessly, and retreated quickly. Severus had no doubt he had learned young how to make himself scarce. _Bugger all, hadn't I believed it? I thought that I had believed it. Lily, what do I do?_

**********

Harry returned exactly an hour later, being unsure whether it was the greater offense to be late or to be early. He stood hesitantly in the doorway. Snape was stirring a cauldron with visible concentration. Harry thought he might be counting. 

"Sir?"

Snape held up a hand for silence. Harry moved quietly into the room and sat down. He waited. 

A few minutes later, Snape stopped stirring and moved the cauldron from the fire. 

"I ... Sorry I screamed," he muttered quickly. 

He was barely audible. With difficulty, Harry repressed the impulse to ask Snape to repeat that. It was enough of a miracle for Snape to apologize to him once. Harry wasn't going to complain that he did it like a reluctant six-year-old. 

"Can you tell me what I did?" Harry asked ruefully. "So I can not do it again?"

"It won't matter if you do it again," Snape said cryptically. "It was just the first time."

"So?"

"I... You looked like me," Snape answered. "You don't — not now! It was a particular expression that crossed your face, just as I'd decided you hadn't changed. I'd believed you were mine, but that was the first time I saw it." He let his breath out in something close to a growl. "I panicked," he said, with visible distaste. 

Harry was too disturbed to worry about Snape's reaction. "I thought this was supposed to take months," he protested. "It's only been two weeks!" 

"The facial changes are slight. They only showed with that particular expression." Snape shook his head. "But you are more than an inch taller. You're taller than you were two days ago, if they hemmed those trousers correctly." He sat back, a self-satisfied sneer back in place of his earlier anxiety. "So, child, tell me why it hurts."

Harry understood almost immediately. His eyes widened. "Er ... because I'm growing too quickly?"

"Precisely. Remember how Pomfrey said you showed strain at your joints? This is the cause of the strain."

 "Why should I be growing, though?" Harry frowned at Snape. "Weren't you and James about the same height?" 

Snape rubbed his forehead. "I was shorter much of the time, though slightly taller by the time we graduated." He frowned. "You'd always seemed oddly small for James's son. Recently, I'd decided it was malnourishment." 

"So, whenever it was my body was supposed to gain James's height, it couldn't." 

"Most likely, yes. You didn't have the resources. Either that or you inherited height from his mother, or some other of his ancestors through him. However, as the charm wears off, your body is getting a new command to grow. And now, you have the resources to manage it." He looked appraisingly at Harry, then gestured him back. "Up against the wall."

Harry laughed. "For growing?"

"You know very well what I mean. We need to track how _much_ you are growing. And this is a good place." Snape smirked. "No one else ventures in here if they can avoid it." 

Grinning, Harry stood against the wall. Severus took a sharp stone and marked the line his head came up to. Harry remembered how Aunt Petunia used to do this to Dudley when he was young. It felt rather silly and childish.

"So how about the headache?" Harry asked, as he stepped away, afterwards. "Why should my head hurt, if my face isn't changing much?"

"Where is the headache?" 

Harry traced around his eye sockets and at his temples. Snape looked thoughtful. 

"Take off your glasses, Harry." he suggested. 

Harry took off his glasses and looked at Snape. "Well? Is my face different?"

"Look around. Do things look as you expect?"

"What do you mean?" Snape didn't answer, so Harry looked around the room, squinting and frowning. Without his glasses, things looked like blobs, he thought glumly. He scanned over a multicolored tower that he knew to be a pile of books, then... "Hey! That -- I can tell that's a quill."

"Normally, you could not?"

"No. Normally it would just be a white blur. Now it's a white blur with a sort of a shape."

"Very good. Your eyesight is improving. Your glasses are wrong for you. Thus the headache."

Harry shoved the glasses back on. Now that he thought about it, everything was a bit blurry. "But I still can't see without them!"

"We'll need to correct the lenses." Snape frowned. "That will require consulting with Pomfrey." He growled. "I was hoping to avoid that." 

"Well, we don't have to tell her _why_ they're wrong, do we?"

"Harry, sixteen year-old boys do not suddenly become less nearsighted."

"But Madam Pomfrey doesn't know how nearsighted I am. I'll tell her I broke my lenses and seem to have fixed them wrong."

Snape raised his eyebrows. He looked almost amused. Harry did not get to hear his response, however, because a flash of color in the doorway caught his attention. He twisted his head. Dumbledore was watching them.

"I hope I'm not interrupting," Dumbledore said pleasantly. 

"Not at all," Snape sneered. "We've just finished three potions, concluded our second fight of the day, and reached an agreement on what is wrong with Harry. Your timing is excellent."

With a dismissive scowl, Snape turned away and began to gather dirty tools from his work area. Dumbledore gave Harry a quick, private smile and a wink.

"Could Harry do that, Severus? I would like to confer with you, briefly."

Snape twisted back. His robes furled momentarily about his calves, then settled in a neat drape. Harry wondered if he could devise a scale of Snape irritation based on the swirling of the man's robes. _I would need to factor in both maximum height off the floor and degree of wrap,_ he mused.

"Very well. Harry, please clean these. Recall we have been dealing with highly poisonous, as well as magically potent, substances. Start with a manual cleaning, then purify with salt."

"Yes, professor."

Snape followed Dumbledore from the room, and Harry set to work on the various utensils Snape had used for the bruise salve. 

 

 

When Snape returned from his conference with Dumbledore, he looked shaken. His lips were set in a thin line, and he avoided Harry's eyes. 

"I ... Follow me." 

Harry followed Snape from the room. He wanted to ask what Dumbledore had said, but from Snape's manner, felt it was best to keep quiet. Snape began to mutter to himself, too indistinctly for Harry to catch any words. They went up to the Entrance Hall, then, to Harry's surprise, outside into the bright sunshine. 

Snape led Harry down the stairs, then back alongside them, to the sheltered place between the holly bushes and the base of the stairs where they had sat several days before. Snape turned and faced him, but remained standing. 

"I don't know how much of what Dumbledore says to take seriously," he said, almost to himself. "I learned from the Dark Lord not to trust people with visions. But ...." His eyes met Harry's, at last. "Hold out your hand," he said. 

Harry, not knowing what was wanted, held out his hand slightly, in a neutral orientation. Snape grasped his wrist and twisted his hand gently, so the palm faced up, then let it go. He drew a little bundle of white silk from his pocket, and unwrapped it cautiously to show a small ring with a large green stone. He closed his eyes a moment, and his lips moved again, though this time there was no sound at all. At last, he took the ring and placed it in Harry's palm, then curled Harry's fingers closed over it. 

"I gave this to your mother for you," he whispered, "now, I give it to you for her." 

He stood a moment, perfectly still, a strangely fearful expression on his face. Harry's heart hammered in his chest. He heard Snape's breath catch. Snape let it out in a slow hiss. 

"I am glad you lived," he said. 

There words were flat and quick as his six-year-old's apology, earlier in the day. As soon as they were out, he loosed Harry's hand, turned away, and began walking back to the base of the steps. 

"Dumbledore wants to see you in his office," he said, without turning. His tone was now clipped and efficient. "I would like to spend the afternoon alone. Amuse yourself as you wish."

He went rapidly up the stairs. Harry followed more slowly, the ring still clutched in his hand.

 

It was not until he had ridden the moving stairs up to the antechamber of Dumbledore's office that Harry paused to examine the ring. The band was narrow, but that was, to Harry's relief, the most feminine thing about it. There were no embellishments to the band or mounting, and no other stones than the emerald. He had not know what Snape had meant by "pentagon step-cut emerald," but it was clear from looking at the ring. The stone was cut with five even sides, and each side angled in from near the top. It was a simple, solid cut that let the green stone glow, rather than flash, in the caught light. Hesitantly, Harry tried putting the ring on. It just fit onto his little finger. The pentagon pointed towards his fingertip. Harry wondered if it would look better the other way, and panicked when he realized it was too tight to slide back over his knuckles. After a minute of frantic twisting and pulling, he managed to get the ring off. His finger hurt from the effort. Harry held the ring up both ways, decided it was better the way he'd had it, and with some trepidation, pushed it back on. 

"At least I know it won't fall off," he muttered. With that settled, he knocked on the door.

 

"Come in," Dumbledore called. His voice was cheery, but the smile he gave Harry never reached his eyes. 

"Your father gave you my message, I presume?"

Harry was slightly taken aback to hear Snape referred to as his father, but he nodded. "And the ring," he added, holding up his hand to show the green stone. This won him a brief, but more sincere smile from the headmaster. "That is assuming that your message was 'come see me.'"

"It was." Dumbledore extracted an envelope from an unusually large pile on his desk and leaned forward to push it towards Harry.

"Miss Granger wrote to me with a letter for you. She said you had told her not to contact you directly?" Dumbledore looked politely inquiring. Harry smacked himself in the forehead. 

"Because I'd just found out that I was a suspect in Uncle Vernon's death. I'd forgotten it. I should contact Ron, too, because I told him the same thing."

Harry felt a little queasy at the thought of Uncle Vernon. He wondered if he'd forgotten as part of forgetting the attack had happened. 

"Understandable," Dumbledore said. He motioned for Harry to pick up the letter. "Read it here, please. I already have done, as she included permission, and I need to discuss it with you." 

 

> Dear Harry,
> 
> What is happening? The Daily Prophet says you have been cleared of your family's deaths, but the Muggle press seems certain that you are responsible. They don't have any actual information to add, so they've been branching out; the Sunday paper had an "In Depth" section on psychotic responses to long-term abuse. Fortunately, the most recent picture they've been able to produce of you was from your last class picture in Muggle school, so it's not very recognizable. Mum and Dad were trying to get me to send one of mine, but I wouldn't. I only have wizard pictures of you, anyway.
> 
> Shouldn't the Ministry of Magic be able to plant a few memories to clear you? I've shown my parents the wizarding news, but they're nearly hysterical, and are threatening to not let me go back. Of course, even if I get them to believe that you didn't have anything to do with it, they still understand that it happens now. I think they may realize it wasn't you, really, and just be trying not to think about the alternative. I've told them before that there are wizards who would like to kill me, and them, but I don't think they believed it. The longer this stays in the news, the more it will frighten them. 
> 
> I do hope you mean it about "appropriate vengeance." A day or two of uncertainty and a research project? 
> 
> Love,
> 
> Hermione

 

Harry looked up. 

"The last bit is that I came up with an excuse about having asked Ron about the Paternity Charm. Of course, he asked Hermione, as well as his Mum. I told them both that someone had told me that someone I don't like is a half-brother of mine, but I'd looked up what they said about how the charm worked and it was wrong, so I'd tracked the sender and extracted 'appropriate vengeance — nothing awful.'"

Dumbledore nodded. "On to the main problem, then."

"Well, she's right, isn't she? The Ministry should be able to do something. Don't they usually? 

"Yes, they usually do." Dumbledore looked grim. "Fudge, I believe, is sitting on this just to inconvenience us. It limits your movements, and thus your potential for power. I will push him on it privately. If that is ineffective, I will try a more public forum." 

"Is there anything I can do?" Harry asked.

"Not with the Minister," Dumbledore acknowledged. "However, I intend to invite the Grangers here for a conference. I would like you to come and speak to them." Amusement brightened Dumbledore's weary eyes. "The point, of course, is for you to be sane, friendly, and courteous. If you are at all angry, please clear up the matter beforehand, or conceal it well until they have gone." 

Harry looked down, both abashed and amused. He scuffed a toe against the dark boards of floor, but largely for effect. "Yes, sir," he said in exaggerated submission. 

Dumbledore chuckled. "Well taken. That's all for now. Please remember to write to your friends."

 

Harry returned to Snape's kitchen, and sent a quick reply to Hermione, and a letter to Ron saying that Ron could write to him now. He didn't have any news that he felt he could relate, so he said nothing of what he was doing, other than that he was back at Hogwarts. Afterwards, he wandered into the living room. Out of boredom, he began looking through the bookshelves. The books were about half Potions texts; many of the rest were Dark Arts, in Harry's estimation, or borderline. 

He pulled out a moderately-thin, brightly-colored volume entitled _Not Bad Enough: The Historical Origins of the Unforgivables_ , and began to flip through it. To his surprise, it was a chatty, readable survey of curses that had preceded the modern Unforgivables, with examples of usage, and a few casting notes that would definitely have kept the book in the restricted section of the school library. Intrigued, Harry curled up at the end of the couch, and began to read. 

 


	15. Occupational Hazards

 

_Not Bad Enough_ had four sections — an overview of the history of legal classifications of curses, and a section each on pain curses, command curses, and death curses. There were apparently many of the former two, but very few of the latter, with the Killing Curse being the only unblockable and instantaneous one. Harry enjoyed the overview chapters, but found the details on early pain curses disturbing. He skipped ahead to the command curses that preceded the Imperius Curse. Harry had always thought that all command curses were legally classified as Dark Arts, but the book outlined two that remained in restricted public use: the Binding Oath, itself a descendant of the Fealty Spell; and the Testimony Spell. One legally distinguishing aspect to both these spells (never, Harry noted, classified as either curses or charms) was that both left the subject aware of the effect. 

When the book got to casting specifics for the Fealty Spell (as compared to casting specifics for the Binding Oath), Harry found himself listening anxiously for Snape's return. He wasn't sure he was supposed to be reading books with details on Dark Arts, however engaging and historically informative. Guiltily, he took the book and moved into his bedroom, where he would have plenty of warning if Snape returned. 

 

The enchanted window was displaying a red and purple sunset when Harry heard the outer door open and close. Harry tucked the book behind the cushions of his window seat, and rubbed at his eyes. His room had grown dark since he started reading. After a minute of trying unsuccessfully to make the room come into focus, Harry remembered he had taken off his glasses to read. His headache was gone. Reluctantly, Harry put the glasses on again, and the room became somewhat less blurry. 

Harry poked his head into the kitchen just in time to see Snape scanning the room from the parlor door. 

"I'm here," Harry volunteered. 

"Good. Have you had dinner?"

"Not yet."

"We were supposed to eat with the others, you know." Snape smirked. "Good to know I wasn't the only one who missed it. I'll call the kitchens."

 

Then talked over dinner, but of simple things: Snape told Harry that he had adequate stores of Camilla's Bruise Salve and the Ignatios Pain Killing Potion and was hoping to make some progress on Calming Draughts, which were fairly quick, that evening, so he could work on Dreamless Sleep, which was quite complicated, the next day. He did not mention what he had said to Harry while they were outside. Harry told Severus that if he removed his glasses for reading, his headache went away. He did not mention that he had been reading one of Snape's books. At several points during the dinner, when Harry was lifting his fork or his glass, he saw Snape's eyes dart to the flash of torchlight caught by a pentagon-cut emerald, but neither of them ever mentioned the ring.

After dinner, Snape stood up and stretched. It was an unguarded motion, perhaps the first, Harry reflected, that he had ever seen from the Potions master. He felt oddly honored. _Perhaps I am just ignored. Perhaps he is just treating me as if I am not here._

"Would you be interested in helping again?" Snape asked, disinterestedly. "For the benefit of that mangy wolf, perhaps? I need to finish these in time to do the Wolfsbane Potion."

"I wouldn't mind helping again," Harry answered, ignoring the cut at Remus. He stood also, and followed Snape to the door. "I like having something to do." 

"Really? I never would have guessed, from the state of your homework."

"Ah, but during the school year, there's so much to do. I can rather pick and choose, can't I?"

"You're lucky I let you into Potions this year, Potter. Your O.W.L.s were borderline."

"But you needed someone to insult. I understand." 

When Snape whirled on him, Harry grinned disarmingly, and Snape, with a satisfied smirk, turned away and lengthened his stride. 

_And for the first time,_ Harry thought, _we did that without malice._

 

So it was that Harry was in Snape's lab tending one potion competently, and watching Snape tend two, when the summons came. Snape twitched and hitched out a breath. His right hand went halfway to the opposite arm, then stopped, fingers clenched into a fist. It occurred to Harry that they had never talked about this. Snape had hinted, and Harry had hinted that he knew, and of course, it had been in James's letter that Severus _had been_ a Death Eater, and _had been_ a spy. Harry noticed suddenly that Snape was eyeing him with trepidation.

"Need to run?" Harry asked casually. "Go on, then. I'll salvage what I can, here."

Snape nodded curtly, and strode quickly from the room, his hand now firmly clasped to his left forearm. Harry didn't have any time to appreciate the moment of trust. He had three cauldrons to tend.

 

At the end of the evening, Harry was pretty sure that two of the potions were fine, though he planned to have Snape test them, to be safe. The third was an obvious loss. He dumped it and cleaned all the equipment before heading to bed. He was woken by Dumbledore, calling from his fireplace. The sky outside the window was slightly more blue than black. 

"Harry?"

"Here." Harry sat up in bed. _If I'm ever ... doing something I wouldn't want to be seen at, I draw the curtains_ , he told himself emphatically.

"Severus returned, then collapsed. He is in the hospital wing. I thought you might like to know." 

Harry was already scrambling out of the bed and pulling his green robes on over his pajamas. 

"Is it bad?"

"I've seen him in worse condition," Dumbledore began. He stopped. "Yes. He will recover, but ... it is bad." 

 

By the time Harry got to the Hospital wing, the eastern horizon was pale. He found Snape at the back of the main room, near Madam Pomfrey's office. Harry moved as quietly as possible to the chair by the bed. 

Snape showed signs of a beating, and his right arm had been immobilized all the way from his shoulder to the fingertips. His breath rasped. On one of his cheeks was a distinctly hand-shaped darkening bruise, which Harry found distantly amusing, despite his sympathy. It was odd to think that some Death Eater had slapped Snape like an offended lady might. On the other side of his face was a long knife cut. Smaller cuts and bruises were scattered about. 

Snape's hair had fallen across one side of his face. Harry reached over and pushed it aside, then grimaced at the feel of it. 

"How do you stand being so dirty?" he whispered. "Doesn't that itch?"

Snape twitched, then shifted. His left arm came up by his pillow. Harry had a sudden urge to push Snape's sleeve down so he could see the Mark. He shuddered, and kept his hands in his lap. _I don't know why I want to see it. I know it's there, and looking at it would only hurt._

 

Harry was tired, but Snape's rasping breaths kept him too fretfully aware of the man's condition to sleep. He found himself wishing he had brought his book, then suddenly imagined trying to explain it to Dumbledore. Perhaps he should select one of the more neutral Potions texts if he wanted public reading material. He wondered how Snape would react. After all, he had clearly thought enough of the book to buy it. Did that mean he wouldn't mind Harry reading it? Harry decided he would let Snape see him with the book, but not until he had finished reading the parts that interested him.

Harry dozed off. A twitch from Snape brought him wide awake. From the look of the sky, he could not have slept more than a few minutes. Harry peered through his glasses at the blurry sky. He could just see a few grey clouds at the horizon. _Aeromancy_ _! No point, really. I know what my future will be like. There'll be lots of screaming, and people will die._

For the first time, he found himself wondering about Aunt Petunia's and Dudley's deaths. They had died in an automobile accident, he knew. Had it been fast? Had they been in pain? Did they know they had been murdered just to clear a path to him? In the dim light of dawn, exhausted and alone, it was all too easy for his brain to seize on the thought, and picture his aunt and cousin mangled and bloody, picture them screaming, picture him dead first, and her crying as she died. 

Harry forced his attention to the sky outside the eastern windows. A band of white. Orange tints above the hidden sun. The sky above the darkest of blues. He stood up and walked to window. 

"Mr. Potter?"

Harry whirled. Madam Pomfrey was standing in the door to her office, robes open over a loose nightgown. 

"I came to see Professor Snape," Harry explained. 

"I'm afraid he won't be conscious for a few hours, yet. I cast a sleeping charm on him, so he wouldn't disturb that hand while the bones mend." Pomfrey shook her head. "He needs the use of that hand, but that won't make him treat it properly while it's healing." She looked questioningly at Harry. "You should be in bed yourself, young man."

Harry could see her wondering why he was bothering to visit Snape, who was not only a staff member, but one with whom Harry was on famously bad terms. 

"I finished up some of his potions after he was called," Harry offered. It didn't really make any sense, as a statement, but Harry suspected that Pomfrey was accustomed to irrelevant babbling from visitors, for she only nodded. 

"Come back after breakfast," Pomfrey said gently. "You can tell him about it then. He's not in any danger, and he needs to sleep."

Harry saw the sense in this, and the lighter it got outside, the easier it was to be logical about it. He went back to his room, and fell quickly to sleep. 

 

When Harry returned, hours later, Madam Pomfrey was awake and bustling about the room. Her mediwitch robes whispered against the beds as she crossed the room to greet Harry.

"He should be awake any time, now," she told him. "He is recovering nicely."

"Good," Harry said. He rubbed at his forehead. 

"And how are you?" Pomfrey asked sharply. "Perhaps we should follow up on your progress while we are waiting." She pointed to a nearby bed. "Sit." 

Pomfrey was pleased with Harry's general condition, although she expressed surprise he remained as thin. She made Harry describe his last six meals to her, and seemed reassured. She frowned as she moved her wand over him. 

"You still have that strain at the joints."

Harry shrugged. Now that he knew what was causing that, he was less bothered by it. Pain was just pain. It was unexplained pain which worried him.

"Actually, that's not bothering me much. But my head...."

As he had hoped, that distracted her from her contemplation of his left elbow. 

"Your head, dear?"

"It hurts constantly. Well, except when I read. I broke my glasses my first day back and fixed them, and I think I did it wrong. Everything is blurry." 

Pomfrey immediately pointed her wand at Harry's left eye. She frowned. "The curvature is a bit strong, I believe." She shifted to one side, then the other. "And it is uneven, as if to correct an astigmatism, but none is present." She looked evaluatingly at Harry. "Are you good at transfiguration?"

"Okay, I guess," Harry answered. "Why?"

"It takes a good deal of specialized training to adjust someone else's lenses correctly," Pomfrey explained. "However, many witches and wizards find it easy enough to do for themselves. Focus on something across the room and slowly alter the curve of the glass while looking for the right point, as if you were adjusting the focus on omnioculars."

"Slowly alter..." 

"I'll get you something to practice on, first. You don't want the lenses shattering in your eyes." 

 

_Good advice,_ Harry thought, as his third practice lens merely cracked, rather than crumbling into shards, as the first had done, or turning into a flat sheet, as the second one had. 

"Harry?" a dry voice rasped. Snape coughed. 

Harry bounced. He caught himself before exclaiming "Severus!" and realized he no longer knew what to call the man. In public, he realized belated, the question was not open. 

"Welcome back, Professor Snape," he said formally. He looked mischievously at Snape's confused stare. "Your companions gave you a rough time of it, I gather?"

"Urg." Snape lay back and tossed his free arm across his eyes. The hospital robes were shorter and looser than the man's usual garb. Harry could see the bottom of the Dark Mark — just a curve of the snake — below the edge of the sleeve. "Is anyone here but Pomfrey?"

Harry shook his head. 

"I've been here for hours. It's just the three of us. Professor Dumbledore has been in and out, a few times."

"Very well." Snape's voice dropped so it would not carry so far as the door. There might be more than one reason, Harry realized, why Pomfrey put this patient at the very back of the room. "I failed to turn you in, I delayed telling _him_ you were here. That was unintentional — I had meant to inform Avery the first night, but lost my temper too thoroughly. After _he_ had finished with me, he let Avery hurt me in more primitive ways, as an additional punishment. For my pride." Snape grimaced. "Damn, that hurts." 

He shifted to a sitting position, wincing with every movement, but waving Harry away when he tried to help. 

"During the school year..."

"What?"

"You will not risk sitting with me, like this."

Harry sighed. "Agreed," he said reluctantly. He sat in the chair and frowned thoughtfully at Snape. Snape looked away. 

"I ... I lost one of the potions."

"Only one?"

"I think so. I mean, you should probably test them, but the other two looked fine."

Snape appraised him slowly, as if judging the truth of his words. Harry wondered if the man were subtly pushing into his mind. He concentrated on picturing the two good cauldrons of the Calming Draught, concentrating on their color and consistency. 

"Good job," Snape said coolly.

Harry glowed. 

That was all they said on the matter. Madam Pomfrey noticed that Snape was awake and came over to administer him potions, one of which he refused to take, and to check his arm and hand. Harry pushed his chair back a couple of feet and resumed work on the lenses. When Pomfrey left, Snape fell back to sleep. 

 


	16. Childhood Memories

 

Harry had successfully adjusted his glasses and started reading Magical Traditions of the Ivory Coast, an innocuous book he had chosen from Snape's shelves, when he became aware of a change in the room. He looked up. Snape was still sleeping and he seemed fine. His breath was normal, now, and his cuts were mostly healed. Harry looked around the room. Remus Lupin was standing motionless in the doorway. Harry put down the book and walked over to the werewolf. 

"Are you looking for me, or him?"

"You. Professor Dumbledore wants you to come to his office at noon. He said to make sure you're presentable."

Harry reached up to his hair. It was uncombed and slightly oily to his touch. He had come straight to the hospital wing that morning, neglecting a shower, and now that he thought about it, he had spent most of the previous day in the questionable fumes of Snape's potions lab. 

"Do I have time for a shower?" he asked ruefully.

"Yes. You have an hour, so with drying spells, you should be fine." Remus gestured towards the door, and Harry nodded and started outside. Remus, to his surprise, walked beside him. Harry wondered if this was permissible by Snape's rules. He supposed he was walking to Snape's rooms, but he knew quite well that Snape was not there. 

Harry didn't know what to say. Neither, apparently, did Remus. It wasn't until they were down the last set of stairs and walking along the dungeon-level corridors that the werewolf spoke. 

"Harry ... were all those things in the paper true?" 

"Which things?"

"The things about your relatives — the Dursleys. How they treated you."

Harry let out a harsh sigh. "It's not important," he said. "It's not such a big deal. I was never in any danger." 

"That," Remus said softly, "was a yes." 

Harry scowled and walked faster. "Fine, yes, but people don't need to be so melodramatic about it!"

"No need to be melodramatic about being locked in a boot cupboard for ten years," Remus said tonelessly. 

Harry tried to explain. "Look, it's not like they didn't let me out for the day, most days. Even when I was being punished, I'd get let out twice to use the bathroom. And it was a fairly large cupboard. Big enough for a mattress. My cot fit there when I was little." They had reached Snape's door. Harry stopped and looked at Remus. The werewolf seemed, if anything, angrier than before. "I could stand up straight in it when I was seven," Harry tried.

"Damn them all!" Remus roared. He growled. "If Dumbledore knew, I swear I will rip that man's throat out!"

"You will do no such thing!" Harry yelled. "Dumbledore was protecting me from Voldemort the only way he could. Besides, where would we be without him?" He looked anxiously at Remus. He had only seen the werewolf murderous once before. The anger was more frightening from this usually gentle man than it had been from Sirius.

"Harry, that doesn't even meet Muggle law for treatment of prisoners of war!" 

"Well, I survived it, okay?"

"Don't you ever _dare_ have children." 

"What?"

"If you can consider that _not important_...." The animal growl was back. The back of Harry's neck prickled. Harry whispered Snape's password, and the door opened. Remus moved forward, and before Harry could recover from his surprise, was inside Snape's rooms. 

"Get out!" Harry snapped.

"We, dear child, are still talking. I'll wait. Go clean yourself up, and think about what I've said."

"Well, wait out in the hall! These are Snape's rooms. He wouldn't want you here!"

Remus shrugged. Harry saw a sparkle of mischief compete with the anger and sadness in his eyes. "He won't smell me, Harry. Take your shower, now. I promise not to cause any mayhem." 

"No," Harry said angrily. "You are not welcome here, Remus." Remus flinched, but Harry ignored it. "You know it. I know it. Snape is a very private person. I am not going to leave you to poke around his things while I take a shower. Now stop being an utter prick and _go away_." 

Remus took a couple of deep breaths. "Harry," he said seriously, "we need to talk."

"No we don't. You need to talk. You want to tell me how frightfully shocked you are and ask if you can do anything, now that everything is okay."

"I don't think everything is okay," Remus said gently. 

"Well it is!" Harry insisted. He sighed. "Look, I'll talk with you, all right? Later. I'll arrange a time soon. But not _here_."

Remus's jaw clenched. "Agreed," he said, with obvious reluctance. "Don't forget dinner tomorrow." With that, he went to the door and let himself out. Harry waited for the footsteps to turn the corner before whispering a new password to the door. He was certain a werewolf's ears were good enough to have overheard his earlier whisper. 

 

 After Harry had showered and combed his hair, he went and looked at his limited selection of clothes. On Severus's suggestion, he had thrown out everything of Dudley's, except for a fuzzy flannel shirt which he particularly liked. He still had Ron's jeans, which he had reluctantly agreed not to wear out of the room, except for possibly while visiting the Weasleys — Harry thought that part of the argument had ended without a resolution. He looked at the red robes, which he had not yet worn, but decided the garment was too flashy for a conference with the headmaster. "For dinner tomorrow," he murmured, and drew on the green robes, instead. It was too hot to wear both robes and trousers, but Harry had never been able to bring himself to wear nothing under his robes, though he knew his wizard-born dormitory-mates often did just that, in the warm months. He pulled on one of the undergarments that resembled cotton biking shorts, and then high socks, so his bare legs would not be obvious, then finished off with the walking shoes, which were still so new as to be shiny. When he checked the time, he saw he had ten minutes, which was just about what he'd need to get to the headmaster's office without getting sweaty on the way. 

 

A minute before the appointed time, he was stepping off the spiral staircase into Dumbledore's antechamber. He lifted a hand to knock, then paused at the sound of voices. 

"Headmaster, no offense, but a face in your fireplace is not the same as a person!"

"I could bring you to the Ministry offices, if you would rather," Dumbledore's pleasant voice replied, "but you might find the journey unnerving. I would like you to speak to Harry, first —"

Harry forced himself to knock. He realized, now, that it would be Mr. and Mrs. — No, he reminded himself, Dr. and Dr. — Granger in the office. He would have been better off in trousers and a shirt. Shrugging, he pushed open the door in response to Dumbledore's invitation. 

"You wanted to see me, headmaster?" he said politely. 

Dumbledore, with a slight smile, gestured to his Muggle guests. "Harry, I believe you know the Grangers?"

"We've met," Harry said neutrally. He reached out a hand to Hermione's mother, who, judging by Hermione's stories, was the decision-maker of the house. "Hello, Dr. Granger." She shook his hand perfunctorily, and Harry did the same with Hermione's father. "Dr. Granger." 

He scanned them quickly and thought he had won some points with Hermione's mother. She looked slightly more open. Probably she got demoted to "Mrs." a lot. 

"The Grangers are concerned, Harry, over rumors about you in the Muggle press."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't you mean libel, headmaster?" he said sharply. He forced himself to soften his expression and tone, and smiled at Hermione's mother. "I suppose it's not their fault, really. I can't go and tell them what actually happened, so it's just people jumping to conclusions."

"Why don't you tell the Grangers what did happen, Harry?" the headmaster suggested. Harry nodded.

"Well, Hermione's probably told you about —" He stopped and looked at Dumbledore. "This will be confusing if I can't use his name." 

"In my office, you may use his name."

Harry nodded and looked back to the Grangers, deliberately making eye contact with each of them. "There's a wizard who calls himself 'Lord Voldemort.' His real name was Tom Riddle. He wants to kill me. He wants to kill a lot of people, actually, but me more than most." 

The Grangers were listening, if a bit tensely. Harry glanced over at the headmaster. "My mother gave me protection from Voldemort by dying to save me, when I was a baby. Dying for someone is a very strong, natural magic — I don't need to explain that to you, right? Old stories are full of it. Everything from the Bible to 'Beauty and the Beast.'" 

Hermione's father nodded. He looked intrigued. Harry wondered if he was the origin of Hermione's passion for research. 

"Professor Dumbledore had used more formal magic to extend that protection to my mother's blood relatives, so I was safe in my aunt's home over the summer. Apparently Voldemort finally sussed that. He had my aunt and cousin killed, so that the Death Eaters — his followers — could attack me in the house." 

"But you weren't killed." 

"No. I ... I'd just run away. They'd got worse. I was locked up most of the time and they wouldn't even let me finish my homework. I decided to come here and just tell Dumbledore that I couldn't stand it anymore." 

Hermione's mother gave him a warning look that Harry recognized immediately. It was the look Hermione got when she wanted to be nice, but felt obligated to chastise him. 

"The timing is what concerns me," she said. "Why should you decide this just at that hour? Isn't that a bit of a coincidence?"

"It's not a coincidence at all. The Death Eaters needed my blood relatives clear of the house to attack them. I needed them clear of the house to break out. I'd smuggled up some tools before, when they'd had me do some work outside, but it wasn't until everyone was out of the house that I could do something so noisy as bash a hole in the door and saw clear the section with the locks."

Harry was suddenly overtaken by the memory of breaking the starter hole in the door. He had hit it repeatedly with a hammer, and the splintering of the wood had been so fiercely satisfying that he had almost decided to forgo using the saw. Involuntarily, he curled his arms around his chest and tried not to tremble. He couldn't manage to summon any mourning for the Dursleys, but somehow the memory of destroying that door, with its five padlocks, made him more angry and frightened than any thought of attacking Death Eaters. Now, he wanted Remus's quiet concern. He could rage at Remus, he knew. Remus would never hold it against him. And Remus, even if Harry completely lost control, would be safe.

"Are you all right, Harry?" Dumbledore asked. 

Harry wanted to scream. _Of course I'm not all right, you blind old fool! I've spent more than half my life being locked up and insulted and treated like some dangerous animal._ He choked down the thoughts. _Remus. I'll go find Remus. Sod Snape's stupid rules._ He took a deep breath. _Be sane, friendly, and courteous._

"Sorry, sir." Harry looked up. "It's still too close." That implied it was Uncle Vernon's death that upset him, he knew. The problem wasn't that the attack was too close, it was that life at the Dursley's was starting to get far enough away to really see. Still, both the headmaster and Hermione's parents seemed to find the statement reassuring. "May I go, now?" Harry asked pleadingly. 

The headmaster looked enquiringly at the Grangers. "Have you any further questions for Harry?" he asked.

Hermione's father looked at Hermione's mother. She shook her head. "No." She offered her hand to Harry. "Thank you for speaking to us, Harry." 

"No problem. Tell Hermione I say hi, okay? And thanks for the food." 

Hermione's mother nodded pleasantly. 

"What food?" Dumbledore asked. Harry turned to see the headmaster frowning at him. He felt like he'd been caught stealing from the kitchens. 

Harry looked down at the floor. His shoes were really very shiny. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had new shoes. 

"Hermione and Ron sent me food over the summer, professor. They always do that."

"And nobody mentioned this?" Professor Dumbledore pressed. His voice was low and angry. Harry stepped back, surprised and a little alarmed. 

"Well, you knew they didn't feed me much. You said so yourself."

"That they didn't feed you enough was obvious from looking at you every September. That you've required outside assistance to maintain that unsatisfactory level was not." 

Dumbledore's voice was a low thunder, now. Harry stepped back, again, and found he was almost touching the door. He looked up in time to see the headmaster rub at his forehead. When the old man looked up, his anger was gone, replaced by sad concern. 

"It's not your fault, Harry, but ... why don't you ever _tell_ anybody when something is wrong?"

Harry flooded with embarrassment, betrayal, and fury. He had said he was miserable. He had asked to stay here. No one had ever asked for details; no one had ever wanted to hear about it. 

"There was never any point!" he bellowed. "No one ever wanted to do anything. No one ever wanted to know!" He wrenched the door open and fled outside, sending the heavy slab of oak crashing shut behind him. 

He had the regretful thought that he had not managed to act as reasonable as he should have, but he knew he couldn't do any better, now. He fled down the corridor and halfway up the stairs, stopping at a window alcove on the landing. There, he sat, shoulder pressed against the corner of glass and stone, his knees up to his chest, and struggled against the press of sobs collecting like rocks in his throat. 

_What does it matter if I cry?_ he thought defiantly. _There's no one here. If Snape catches me and tries to bully me, I'll just go to Remus. I'll tell him Severus was mean to me, and he'll take me in._

He let the hard lump of distress come up. The sound was frighteningly loud in the empty stairway, and immediately followed by a rush of tears that, once started, seemed unstoppable. Alarmed, Harry got up and ran, looking for someplace more private. His recently corrected vision was blurry again, but he realized he was by the Defense against Dark Arts teacher's office, and stumbled to the door, then, when it opened, inside. Remus was not in the room. Harry collapsed face down on the worn brown couch and let the storm take him. 

 He was nearly done, only hiccuping slightly, when the door opened. Harry pressed his face into the cushions. Footsteps hurried towards him. 

"Harry?" 

He felt Remus sit on the edge of the couch, beside him. Tentatively, one of Remus's slender hands settled between his shoulder blades. Remus thumped him helpfully a few times after the next hiccup, then let the hand just rest on him again, with comforting weight. It felt almost feverishly hot. Harry wondered if that was from the lycanthropy. 

"Harry?" Remus asked gently. "Are you all right?"

"No," Harry said defiantly, turning over. "I'm not all right. Why does everybody care now? They're dead now, and it doesn't matter. They didn't have to die, you know. Someone could have let me leave, and they'd have been fine, and I'd have been better, and I might feel like someone actually cared, rather than everyone pretending they care once there's nothing for them to do." 

He pushed himself back into the corner of the couch to sit with his knees drawn up. Remus looked at him sadly. 

"I wish I'd known." 

"You knew I didn't want to go back there! What did you think that meant? Have I ever been _fussy?_ You knew I was ready to run off with Sirius when I didn't even know him!"

"I thought it was just that they hated your parents, Harry. You'd told me that. And didn't approve of magic." 

"And hated me." 

"Harry...."

"What did you think I meant?" Harry screamed. "That they wouldn't buy me sweets?"

His throat hurt. He buried his face in his knees and tried to stay completely still. He heard Remus shift on the couch. 

"Nobody expects that, Harry. Decent people don't —" 

"What did I ever say to make you think my relatives were decent people?" Harry asked indistinctly. 

Remus sighed. "One tends — most of us tend, Harry — to assume it of people, at least when dealing with their own blood." The couch softened as Remus's weight left it. "Rest a moment. I'll get us both a cup of tea."

 

Remus came back a few minutes later with sweetened tea and a damp washcloth for Harry's face. 

"My eyes hurt," Harry grumbled, as he rubbed white spots of salt from his glasses. He could only remember two times in the last decade that he had truly cried.

"I know a spell for that," Remus said cheerfully. He pulled out his wand and tapped it a few inches in front of each of Harry's eyes. "There," he said. "Better?"

"Much," Harry admitted, drinking the warm tea gratefully. The burning feeling in his eyes had gone away, and his vision was clear again.

"Of course," Remus said wryly, "now no one can tell you've been crying. That's not always the best thing."

"I hate crying. It just lets people know they've won." 

"Harry..." Remus sighed. "Harry, love, you are far too good at acting like nothing's wrong."

"I'm not going to whine!" 

"But you see why no one suspected? Yes, you said you were unhappy, but you never seemed depressed. You were no more insecure or violent than many boys your age. On the whole, you've always seemed quite normal, and we assumed your problems at home were similarly normal." Remus sighed. "Of course, one of us should have realized that your idea of 'normal' trouble was bound to be skewed by a mile." 

 

The rest of Harry's visit with Remus was fairly peaceful. Remus apologized for pushing his way into Snape's apartments that morning. He seemed to want to say more, after that, but Harry was fairly sure he didn't want to hear it. He hurriedly asked Remus how he was settling in, and when the next full moon was, and they talked pleasantly about Remus's lesson plans and more seriously about what Harry had already taught the members of Dumbledore's Army. When Remus realized that Harry had not had lunch, he invited him to stay, but Harry, with a sudden twinge of guilt, declined. 

"I'm not even supposed to be here. Snape will be furious as it is." 

"This is what makes me worry!" Remus exclaimed. Harry looked at him, confused, and the werewolf continued, almost plaintively:

"You don't respect rules, Harry. You don't go and do things you think are stupid just because someone tells you to. You would have made a much better Marauder than I did. Now, suddenly, Dumbledore puts you in that man's care and you are doing anything he says, even things you say you don't believe in, like avoiding me--"

"I'm not avoiding you!"

"Very well. Getting explicit permission to--"

"I came and saw you when I needed to, didn't I?"

Remus was silent for a minute. "Yes," he conceded finally. 

"Well, there you go. Don't worry." 

Remus's kindly eyes narrowed and darkened. "Why did you leave?"

"When?"

"The Dursleys. Why did you leave? Why now? What changed?"

"I don't want to talk about the Dursleys anymore, today." 

"You're avoiding the question."

"I need to go. I'm here without permission."

Remus jumped up, lip raised and eyes feral. "What made you care about _permission?_ "

For the second time that afternoon, Harry found himself backing towards the door, only this time, it was deliberate. 

"You," Remus snarled, "are frightening me."

"Well, it's mutual, Professor," Harry dared, taking another two steps back and feeling for the door handle.

Remus's face went blank and his eyes closed. He swayed slightly. For a moment, Harry thought he would fall. When he opened his eyes, he focused on Harry with his usual gentle intensity. 

_That's it,_ Harry thought suddenly. _That's what makes me feel special. It's that when I'm with him, I have his complete attention. Most people are thinking about last week's game, or that their nose itches, or if they did their Transfiguration homework well enough, but when Remus finally focuses on you, he does it completely._

"I'm sorry," Remus said. "I _am_ frightened, Harry."

"Snape is not the Dursleys."

"He's telling you what to wear!"

"Yes. And he cares enough to get me something he approves of. And let me pick things out, actually."

Remus snorted. "Don't tell me Severus paid for those red robes." 

"Yes, he did." Harry felt a formless unease creeping through his stomach. "Why?"

"Fire-dyed raw silk! Severus can't afford that!" Remus exclaimed.

"You picked them out."

"Yes, and you're James's son. I know what sort of money you have. Good lord, Harry, Malfoy would respect those robes!"

"I've got to go," Harry said. He left.

 


	17. On Distinguishing Evil From Vice

 

Harry settled in the living room with Not Bad Enough and some spiced pumpkin juice. He had nearly finished the short section on death curses. In general, it was far less interesting than the section on command curses. Where he had read about those out of curiosity, he pushed through this section with a grim need to know as much as possible about the origins of the curse to which he had lost so much. He was just looking at a table comparing the limitations and requirements of the Killing Curse, the Curse of Painful Death, and the Curse of Sleeping Death, when there came a pounding at the door. 

"Harry!" Snape screamed. "Open the sodding door this instant! You had damned well better be in there!" 

Harry ran over and opened the door. "Sorr-"

"What in bloody Hades do you think you're doing? Some kind of frigging joke, ch-"

"Remus followed me down here, this afternoon," Harry said angrily, over Snape's words. "I'm sure he heard me give the password. I thought you wouldn't want him having the password to your rooms, so I changed it."

"You could have told me," Snape snapped, but he was obviously mollified. 

" _You_ could have knocked politely and waited a moment, then asked me what had happened," Harry countered. "Anyway, the new password is 'Aconitum.' Change it if you like."

Snape snorted in amusement. "'Aconitum?' You mean Wolfsbane?"

"I was a bitannoyed at him," Harry admitted. "Anyway, we made up later." He bit his lip. "I was in his rooms, by the way. Yell at me, if you like, but I needed to see him." 

"Why?"

"Because I'd just screamed at Professor Dumbledore over something Remus had done too. Screaming at Remus seemed safer."

"This close to the dark of the moon, perhaps." Snape frowned. "What did they do?"

"They wanted to know why I hadn't 'told them' about the Dursleys. Except I did. Not details, because no one ever asked, but they knew I was miserable there, and they didn't _want_ details. Remus says he assumed I had 'normal problems' with them, whatever those are. And Remus got angry at me because I said it wasn't such a big deal. He said I better never have children. But it isn't that I think the way they treated me was right, just that it was manageable. He doesn't get that." 

"Normal," Snape said carefully, "is, by definition, a relative term." He looked seriously at Harry. "Remus's idea of a normal childhood has nothing to do with yours, or mine." 

"Which have nothing to do with each other's," Harry pointed out.

"In many ways not," Snape agreed. "However, I had an abusive father, who damaged and left my mother, and I ended up living with relatives who hated me for being his. So I was also the unwelcome other child." Snape looked down briefly. "What did you do in Remus's rooms?"

"I was only in his office, really. I went there terribly upset, and he calmed me down and made me tea, then he tried to talk to me and we fought, then we calmed down again, then I said I shouldn't be there and he got upset again, or something like that. I think we were on okay terms when I left, but I wouldn't swear to it." 

"Remus is customarily so soft-spoken that his pig-headed stubbornness goes unnoticed."

"The problem was, I couldn't argue properly without telling him you're my father, so nothing got resolved."

"We are not telling anybody," Snape said threateningly. 

"I know! I was just saying it made things difficult. He's worried about how much I'm obeying you, and I can understand why. If you were some random staff member that Dumbledore had put me with, I'd let you tell me what to do in your rooms, and I'd help you with your work, but I wouldn't let you tell me what to wear or who to talk to when I wasn't in your rooms."

"Obviously you're not obeying me too well on that last point."

"I pointed that out — that when I needed to talk to him, I did it anyway. He was reassured, but not much. It basically fell apart when I said I wasn't supposed to be there and insisted on leaving, rather than staying for lunch."

"That's something, I suppose."

"The problem is he's just baffled. So he's decided I must have been damaged by the Dursleys, somehow, this summer and become..." Harry waved his hands around — "I don't know ... unable to stand up to you? I'm glad that he wants to protect me, but there's really nothing for him to protect me from, at the moment, and it's annoying to have him hovering about looking concerned." Harry sat back down on the couch, and idly picked up his book. "May I work in the lab, tomorrow? I still need to finish my summer assignment."

"Of course. Don't expect any help with it."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm not a complete idiot, you know." He looked down at the book, and slid a finger in beside the bookmark, but did not open it. "How are you feeling?"

"My arm is a bit stiff, and the fingers hurt. Pomfrey says I can go back to my lab work tomorrow, as--" Snape's eyes widened suddenly, then narrowed. "Harry... What are you reading?" 

Harry cheerfully held up the book. "It's a history of the origins of the Unforgivable Curses." 

Snape covered his face with one hand. "Whatever possessed you to pick that? I have hundreds of books here! At least a third of which wouldn't give the headmaster fits." 

"Honestly," Harry admitted, "I think it had the brightest cover. It's pretty good, though. I enjoyed the general parts and the section on command curses, anyway. I had to slog through the one on death curses, and I couldn't manage to read the section on pain curses at all." 

"The _brightest cover?_ "

"Well, I still would have picked something else if it looked boring when I started leafing through it." 

Snape sighed. "Very well. What have you learned? As I recall, that author does not adequately describe the distinction between Dark Arts and spells that are unethical."

"Really?" Harry was confused. "That was part of what I liked. In the command section, he had —"

"She."

"Oh. She had this section on the Binding Oath, the Fealty Spell, and the Masters Spell, explaining why the Binding Oath was legal —"

"Legal, yes. However, that it is entered into consensually, and that the subject can describe the influence they are under, makes it no less Dark Arts, thaumaturgicly." Snape scowled. "A sixth year student should know this!" 

"Well, as we've discussed, I had only two years of Defense Against the Dark Arts that were worth anything, and our third year was entirely Dark creatures," Harry protested. He looked up at Snape, who was still standing. "So explain it to me." 

"Let me get some wine." 

"Should you be drinking, now?"

"Don't start that! I was quite careful to refuse the pain-blocking potion. Pomfrey only tries to give it to me so that I can't drink. She knows I can tolerate the pain. It's one of her pet theories that alcohol inhibits healing." 

"I think it does."

"In reasonable quantities, the effect should be minimal."

Snape came back with a goblet of dark red wine, and sat down in the armchair, at a corner to Harry. 

"Dark Arts," he said formally, settling back in the chair and fixing his gaze on Harry. "First, being harmful does not make a spell Dark Arts. If it did, all you horrid little brats cursing each other in the hallways would create far more of a problem than it does."

Harry grinned. 

"Second, not all Dark Arts spells are harmful. There are healing spells that are Dark Arts." He raised an eyebrow at Harry's look of surprise. "I assure you, Harry, this is quite true. The majority of Dark Arts spells _in common use_ are harmful, because a person who wants to cause harm is far more likely to be willing to take the risk.

"And here we get to the distinctive nature of Dark Arts. Any work in the Dark Arts opens your soul in way that can be dangerous. The likely nature of the danger depends in part — but only in part -- upon the nature of the spell." 

Snape was silent for a moment. He looked meditatively off into the air beyond Harry's shoulder while he stroked the stem of his goblet of still-untouched wine. 

"There is an ethical distinction I would like to be sure you understand," he said. He frowned. "That Muggle thing, the tobacco cigarettes — is it _bad_ of you to smoke them?"

Harry blinked. He was uncertain what he was expected to answer. He was certain Snape disliked him smoking, though he had never figured out whether this was because it was harmful, or because it was a Muggle behavior. He decided to just consider the question.

"Well... no," he ventured. "I mean, there are any number of reasons why I shouldn't, but it's not immoral."

"Correct. It is bad for your body, it gives you a potentially exploitable weakness — actually more than one, because in addition to the considerable potential for addiction, there are also short-term effects, such as a scent that would make it difficult for you to hide with just invisibility — but none of that makes it _immoral,_ just foolish and self-destructive. It is a vice, not an evil. The Dark Arts, for all the fuss, are, similarly, a vice." 

Harry found that he had edged to the front of his seat, and forced himself to sit back. Snape had paused to take a sip of the wine, and was again running his fingertips absently along the stem of the goblet. Harry found himself wishing he had something to do with his hands, which still held the book, with one finger of his right hand between pages, holding his place.

"That doesn't mean the 'fuss' is undeserved. They are a very powerful vice, and like many vices, provide convenient pathways to evil. As an example, consider the Cruciatus Curse."

Harry, as Snape seemed to be waiting for some response, nodded. "Cruciatus," he affirmed. He frowned. "Except I do consider that evil."

Snape inclined his head slightly. "We will get back to more ambiguous magics later." Contempt crept into his distant look. "I understand you attempted to cast Cruciatus on Lestrange?"

Harry bit back an impulse to bring up the circumstances of that event. He looked down. _I will not defend the indefensible._ "Yes, sir," he said.

"Despite the fact you consider it evil? Well, no matter." 

Harry looked up to see Snape smiling slyly at him. "In any case," Snape continued, "you failed to cast it effectively. Why was that?"

Harry remembered what Bellatrix Lestrange had told him and what he had read in the beginning of the book's section on pain curses. He looked down at the book. 

"Many of the more advanced pain curses require that the caster truly desire the subject to be in pain. The Cruciatus Curse, in particular, requires that the caster enjoy _causing_ pain." Harry swallowed. "I really don't like hurting people. I can do it in a fight, but...."

"But you were unable to do it," Snape finished succinctly. He looked evaluatingly at Harry, but the contempt, at least, was gone. "So, imagine you decided that you were going to cast the Cruciatus Curse, and you were willing to meet this prerequisite. What could you do? You could incline yourself towards sadism by mental preparation — reading materials that arouse that inclination, talking with friends who were more so inclined, casting _immisericors_ on yourself to restrain any counter —"

" _Immisericors_ _?_ "

"The Merciless Heart Curse. It is occasionally useful, self-inflicted, though you must remember to give it an end-trigger, so--" Snape stopped, suddenly. His face spasmed as he shuddered. "What am I-- Forget I said that! If I _ever_ catch you using that curse, which is, in itself, Dark Arts, I will demonstrate far more of the use of it than you ever wish to see."

"It doesn't really sound like my kind of thing," Harry pointed out. "And I can't imagine wanting to cast the Cruciatus Curse in any premeditated way." 

"Understood. That is one reason I picked it as an example. The chances that you will run out and try this are minuscule." 

"Oh. I see."

"So. _Were_ you to do this, and cast Cruciatus, the casting, itself, would have an effect on you." 

"Opening my soul, you said." 

"Yes. And opening it _to that casting._ So your induced pleasure in your victim's pain would be enhanced. The experience is exquisite. Were you to need to cast Cruciatus again an hour later, it would come quite easily. And each time, this feeling becomes a little more your own. Eventually, you would become unable to imagine not enjoying causing pain." 

Snape's voice was as soft as silk. Harry could see his hand trembling where it stroked the stem of his goblet, and he found that even more disturbing than the man's words. 

"That is the corruption caused by an 'evil' spell in the Dark Arts. The evil of it becomes enmeshed in your soul." Snape's voice lightened slightly. "So, let's take a more ambiguous example. You were reading about the Binding Oath?"

"Yes. The book says it's still a prerequisite for certain government positions."

"Correct. Even more of them, in recent years. And it is consensual, and the victim — sorry, 'subject' — can describe the effects he or she is subject to. It is still Dark Arts." Snape paused. "Another error in this book — the Binding Oath, Fealty Spell, etc., are _not_ closely related to the Imperius Curse. They are far closer to another spell in the Dark Lord's arsenal. Do you know which?"

Harry shook his head. Snape fumbled with the cufflinks at his left wrist. A moment later, he had pushed the sleeve up to the elbow, and sat holding out his left arm so Harry could clearly see the Dark Mark. The skin about it was still reddened with the aftereffects of Voldemort's displeasure, making an angry aura about the hideous design. Involuntarily, Harry caught his breath in a sharp inward hiss.

"This," Snape snarled, thrusting the arm still closer, "was _consensual._ That is a requirement of the spell; it cannot be otherwise. That is why a spy cannot be moved into my place. Receiving the Mark requires your _sincere_ oath of loyalty. A spy cannot become a Death Eater. They must wait for a Death Eater to become a spy." He met Harry's eyes again. "I gave my consent, I know the effects, and I can talk about them as much as I wish, just like the Binding Oath. Does that make it right?"

Harry could not have said a word, even if he had known what to say. He sat staring at the mark of his father's servitude, his eyes drawn to the snake emerging from the skull until he was afraid it would speak to him. His scar hurt, so he concentrated on keeping his mind clear. 

"Harry?" With a sharp tug, Snape covered the Mark with his sleeve. "Harry? You did know, didn't you?"

Harry nodded dizzily. It helped when Snape covered the Mark. "Sorry, I.... My scar started hurting, so I was working on not thinking anything." 

"Ah." 

"Go on, anyway. Did you have something to say about the Binding Oath?"

"It is still Dark Magic. It still endangers the mental and emotional state of the caster." Snape shook his head and rubbed his fingers across his forehead. "I don't recall where I was going with this, I'm afraid. Sorry." 

"That's fine." Harry looked down at the book. "May I finish this, then?" 

Snape nodded. "Yes. Just come and discuss it with me afterward. You can read most of what I have here; just let me know. Some works I will want to discuss with you, before or after you read them — possibly both."

"Okay." 

 

The next morning, they went to Snape's lab — Snape to work on the Dreamless Sleep Potion, and Harry to finish his summer homework.

"Let's see if you've grown in the last two days, shall we?" Snape suggested wryly. He marked where Harry stood against the wall. "I'm not sure that's significant — you may just be standing straighter. How do you feel? 

Harry shrugged. "Same soreness. I can stand it during the day, but it's hard to sleep."

"Headache?" 

"While you were in the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey showed me how to fix my glasses."

"Very good."

Snape put a ladleful of viscous silver glop into his cauldron. "I was thinking about the muscle pain."

"And?"

"This could go on for half a year, perhaps a bit more. You can't take painkillers for that long."

"Oh."

"However, I could give you a potion that relaxes the muscles and tendons, and that should reduce the pain. It will increase your chances of injury from any physical mishap, so you had best not take it during the day, but if you take it every night, I expect it will help."

Harry, surprised, looked up at Snape, who raised his eyebrows. 

"Well?"

"Thanks!"

"Just don't tell Pomfrey."

 

 

Harry spent most of the morning doing his homework assignment, then most of the afternoon doing it again. The second time seemed to work, and when he called Snape over, his father gave him nine of ten for it. 

"Ideally, it would be completely clear," he said, explaining the missed point. "I'd guess that you neglected to tap the dust out of your chopped dry vervain."

"Was I supposed to?"

"Yes."

"The instructions don't say that!"

"If you are supposed to add an ingredient chopped coarsely, does it not make sense that you should add only that of the ingredient which is coarsely chopped?"

"I suppose, but...."

"Hermione will tap off the dust, because she is meticulous. Draco will do it, because he can't stand anything less than perfection. If one other person remembers, I will be impressed." 

"So part of this exercise was to see if we knew that."

"No. Part of this exercise was to see if you could figure that out." Snape glared at Harry. "I do not always give full instruction. Nor does the world. If you can't _think_ , this is all useless." 

 

When Snape finished his second batch of Dreamless Sleep, Harry reminded him that they had a group dinner that night. Snape looked vexed, but immediately began cleaning up. 

Back in his room, Harry combed out his hair and put on clean trousers. He looked at the red robes and was reminded of what Remus had said. Thoughtfully, he drew them on, and checked his appearance in the mirror. After some consideration, he put on a black shirt and opened the robes, slightly. Another look in the mirror showed him that he looked like an affluent, perhaps rather flashy, young wizard. He wondered if he liked that.

"You do look sharp, dearie," the mirror affirmed. "Is it a date, or a chic business engagement?"

"Just a dinner," Harry said.

"They'll be intrigued," the mirror promised him. "So proper, yet with hints of untapped strength. And it suits you, dearie." 

Harry grinned, and then went out to the living room, where Snape was reading by the fire. Snape looked up as soon as he entered. 

"How do I look?"

Snape smiled with obvious satisfaction. "If you weren't you," he declared, "I could take you to Malfoy Manor."

"Oh." Harry walked into the room. He sat balancing on the arm of the couch. "Remus said you couldn't afford these. He'd assumed I'd paid for them."

Snape looked curiously at him. "What odd conversations you have with Remus." 

"So?"

"Were I restricted to a teacher's salary," Snape said, "he'd be right. However, I am professionally rather well known and occasionally freelance for certain difficult potions, such as the Wolfsbane, and working for the Dark Lord," he smirked, "is not without recompense."

"And here I thought people did it all for thrills," Harry said dryly.

"Some do it on principle," Snape said coldly. 

"Now there's a scary thought." 

"How so?" 

"Because I'd rather deal with an amoral opportunist than someone who fully believes in Tom's sort of hate."

"Why?"

"The opportunist is more predictable." 

Snape snorted. "It's a pity you didn't take Slytherin. I suspect I would have got over your resemblance to James." He stood. "Remember, of course, that the ones who do it for thrills are much more unpredictable than either." 

"Right." Harry watched Snape stand. The man was dressed in his usual black robes. Although Harry remembered hearing him in the bath the previous evening, his dark hair was still hanging in clumped, greasy locks.

"What does your hair look like clean?" Harry asked impulsively. Snape turned on him quickly, his expression unpleasant, but Harry refused to be cowed. "Next time you wash it, could you use my shampoo? Yours is horrid. I thought it was going to burn my scalp off the time I tried it." 

"That shampoo is specifically for neutralizing the aftermath of certain potions accidents. It is extremely harsh."

"You only wash your hair if you have a potions accident?" Harry said incredulously. 

"I rinse it whenever I bathe," Snape answered. He sneered at Harry. "Unlike some people, I have no interest in my appearance." 

"Well, you have enough of an interest in mine!" Harry exclaimed. "I'll go back to jeans, if you don't care." 

"There is a difference between vanity and propriety," Snape said contemptuously. 

"Keeping adequately clean is propriety," Harry retorted, imitating Snape's tone. He smiled disarmingly at Snape's glare. "Anyway, I have an ulterior motive. I'm fairly sure I'm going to end up with your hair. I'd like some indication of what it will be like. Could you try a wash with my shampoo? Please?"

Snape sighed. "You're an irritating boy. And I'm busy." 

"I know. But I'll help you with brewing, tomorrow. I must be saving you enough time for that." 

"All right! Next time I bathe. But don't expect much. It only stays clean for about twelve hours, when I'm working."

"That's okay. Do it before the next dinner then." 

"Now you want me to show off?" Snape asked caustically. 

"If you're going to the trouble, you might as well." 

Snape scowled. "I don't like looking attractive."

"Why not?"

"It reminds me of a time in my life that I would much rather forget." Snape glowered at Harry. "Come along now. We'll be late." 

 

When they got to the Great Hall, Professors Dumbledore, Lupin, Vector, and Flitwick were already present, as were Madam Hooch and Madam Pomfrey. Of the people who usually attended, Harry thought, only Professor Sprout was missing. He wondered when Hagrid would return. He hoped Hagrid wasn't bringing back any more giants. 

As they crossed the hall to the single table of diners, everybody watched them intently. 

"Good evening, Severus!" Dumbledore exclaimed. "We wondered if we would see you, this evening." 

"Mr. Potter," Professor Vector interrupted, "those robes are stunning!" She smiled slyly at him. "Please assure me that you will be wearing your school robes in September, or I will need to update my wardrobe."

"Of course I'll be wearing school robes!" Harry exclaimed. He sent a nervous look at the headmaster. "Unless I manage to get myself kicked out." 

"You have done nothing to merit that recently," Dumbledore responded. 

Snape snorted. "And this definition of 'recently?' In the last day, perhaps?"

Harry shot him a quick grin as they sat, Harry next to Madam Hooch. Remus, on Hooch's other side, bent forward. 

"How did you afford those robes, Severus? Sorry to put you on the spot, the other day — I had thought Harry was paying."

Harry stiffened, as, he realized, did Snape, beside him. Snape either had to admit he paid for the robes, causing everyone to wonder why Snape was buying such an expensive item for his least favorite student, or deny it, making Remus suspect that Harry had lied to him. Dumbledore stepped in. 

"Why, I gave him an allowance for Harry's clothes, Remus. He may, perhaps, have exceeded it, slightly...." 

Everybody laughed. 

This was the safest story for Snape, but Harry could tell he was humiliated by it. Eyes on Remus, Snape said caustically:

"Not that paying for it would have been a problem, Lupin. Thanks to my experience with you, I am now the primary provider of Wolfsbane Potion to several apothecaries." He smirked at the werewolf. "Those who need it pay quite well." 

Remus glared. 

"You are the sort of parasite Randolph rails against, Severus."

"Parasite? Watch your tongue, Lupin! That potion takes most of a day, and you know not many can brew it." 

"But you receive far more than a day's pay, do you not?"

"Does this 'Randolph' wish to nationalize my services?"

"No," Remus said flatly. "He wishes us to hunt humans 'as nature intended.' That is the only way, he says, to regain control of our lives."

Harry looked at Dumbledore. The headmaster was attending to the conversation and people's reactions, but he did not seem inclined to intervene. Harry spoke above the whisperings from the other end of the table. "Some control," he said.

"Yes, well, some people ignore that," Remus said lightly.

"You'd spend the rest of your short lives being hunted!" Madam Hooch exclaimed. 

"Ah," Remus said, smiling slightly. "But _Voldemort_ has promised —" he lifted his gaze and looked straight into Harry's eyes — "that we shall be allowed to hunt Muggles, when he rules the world." 

"And the point to displaying this savagery, Lupin?" Snape sneered. 

"The point," Remus returned softly, "is that extremism does not arise in a vacuum. There is a better solution for us, but most of us cannot afford it. _I_ cannot afford it. When I am not at Hogwarts, I buy the Wolfsbane potion as often as I can, which is about every three or four months. I get through my other moons the old fashioned way. And I am not surprised that many of my kindred, set upon by society as we are, have started to think that they would prefer tearing someone else up to tearing themselves up."

"Would you rather I did not make the Wolfsbane Potion?" Snape asked caustically. "That would only decrease the supply. No matter what I charge, the apothecaries will charge what the market will bear."

 "And the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures — you will note we are not _human,_ anymore — will continue to prosecute anybody — like that poor girl in Canterbury who killed a wizard who broke into her apartment, past locks and wards — while not doing a thing to put a viable solution within the means of people like her -- and me."

Harry interrupted before Snape could respond. "Can werewolves — during the moon, that is — actually tell the difference between a Muggle and a wizard?"

"Of course not. He proposes to designate hunting areas, that witches and wizards will be warned to avoid." 

"How would you feel about killing Hermione's parents?" Harry asked coldly. Remus closed his eyes for a moment. 

"Horrible," he said. "The whole idea is sick. But ..." He pushed up his sleeve, well past the elbow. Harry was horribly reminded of Snape, displaying Voldemort's Mark. There was no tattoo, here, but scars marked every inch of the werewolf's skin. One bite mark was still red and swollen. "Three hundred and nine times, I have done this. How many more can I stand? How many would stand even that? But every month, it is this: I kill myself, I kill someone else, or I mutilate myself, yet again." His eyes met Harry's with renewed intensity, the flecked brown shifted nearly to lupine gold. "I am a very patient man, Harry. I cannot endure to cause harm; I would kill myself before willingly killing another. But I cannot stand this. I was embarrassed at my relief to be trapped here once again, with my most beloved enemy," — here he nodded at Severus — "to brew my salvation." Those intense eyes fluttered closed, then open again. "For another eleven moons, I need not make my choice, and I rage for those who are less fortunate." 

 


	18. Mutual Distrust

 

The arrival of food was a relief to all of them, Harry thought. Snape and Lupin continued to snipe at each other, but the volleys were almost pro forma, as if both were too preoccupied to launch another dedicated attack. Dumbledore sat back and watched with less than his usual amusement. 

When they got back to the dungeons, Snape gave Harry some of a muscle-relaxing potion to have before bed, and promised to make more the next day. He warned that it would be more effective as a preventative than a cure, but even so, Harry found the effects immediately helpful. He slept better than he had any night since he had returned to Hogwarts. 

 

Harry woke late, to a dimly lit room. The sky outside his magic window was grey. He felt disoriented at being alone and indoors, and remembered that he had been dreaming. He had been lost in a strangely non-urgent nightmare in which he had stood wandless in the gardens on Magnolia Crescent and attempted to convince a werewolf that he was a half-blood, not a Muggle, and therefore unlawful prey. Emotionally, it had felt more like trying to correct a clerical error than trying to preserve his life. 

Harry dressed absently in trousers and a shirt, and stared out the tower window. It was odd to look down on land he knew was a story above him, and probably in some other direction. The day was overcast, not rainy. It looked like the sort of day that might stay that way for hours. Suddenly, Harry wanted to fly. 

He went out to the kitchen. Snape wasn't there, or in the living room. Harry called down to the main kitchens for eggs, bacon, toast, and marmalade. He made his own tea while he waited. 

After eating, Harry collected his Firebolt, and walked down to Snape's lab. As he expected, Snape was brewing. Harry entered carefully, sat down a table away from Snape's cauldrons, and waited to be noticed. 

 "What is it?" Snape asked, finally.

"I wanted to go down to the pitch and get in some flying. May I? Now that I have the ring?"

Snape, frowning, considered the matter. Harry suspected that frowning was a natural part of Snape's thought process. 

"Your last two Occlumency sessions have been acceptable," he admitted. 

"So? Is that yes?"

"You need to pay attention to your surroundings, and you need to have someone with you."

"Okay."

"Someone other than Lupin."

Harry rolled his eyes. "You know he'd be the easiest." 

"And I know he'd be useless, at best." 

Harry looked down. He wanted to ask what the big deal was about Remus, but he suspected such a general question would get him an equally general answer.

"You heard him last night," Snape said, sounding suddenly angry. "He'd betray us if he dared."

"No. I heard him last night, and I think he is unhappy that no side has offered an acceptable solution to the problems of the werewolves." 

"Believe what you wish. I say if you were attacked by his own kind, he would stand aside." 

Harry bit his lip. He was stung by the contempt in Snape's voice. More abstractly, it bothered him that he and Snape managed to get such different meanings from Lupin's words. When Snape talked about Remus, he often seemed to be talking about someone Harry had never met. Conversations such as this made him wonder if Snape's Remus actually existed, or if he was a creation of Snape's hatred of werewolves and Marauders.

"About what you said," he forced out. "About Lupin liking dark-haired boys.... Did you mean that?"

"Yes. You're as much that as James's son." Snape smirked. "More." 

"When I told him you said I was 'displaying myself' in jeans, he said to tell you he hasn't liked boys my age since he was my age."

Snape waved a hand in dismissal. "Perhaps. I don't keep track of what the werewolf plays with." 

Harry blinked. "But you just said you meant it! Now it's something you made up!"

Snape looked at him curiously. "I don't know what Lupin pursues now," he elaborated. "When we were your age, you would have been very much to his taste. I consider that as likely to be relevant to his treatment of you as any residual loyalty he may feel to James. Neither bond is one I trust to keep you safe."

"That is an entirely different thing!" Harry raged. He wondered suddenly if Snape meant that Lupin and James.... He didn't want to think about it.

Snape stared at him in perplexity for a moment, then his face suddenly cleared. He laughed. 

"Had I worried you? Were you frightened at the thought he might want you?" He smirked. "This is Lupin, Harry. If he did, he'd probably give you roses, not bind you to his bed." 

Harry could feel that he was burning with embarrassment. Snape surveyed him with contemptuous satisfaction. 

"You're a virgin, aren't you?" he asked mockingly. "A silly little Gryffindor _virgin_."

"I'm barely sixteen," Harry choked out. He didn't think most of his classmates had done much more than kiss, yet, but he was suddenly aware that he wasn't sure.

Snape's mocking look faded suddenly. He turned back to his cauldron and started ladling the grey solution into a funnel-topped decanter. "Don't be insulted, Harry," he said distantly. "I'm jealous, really. I haven't had a good chance to be envious of you all month."

"Would you like to be a virgin?" Harry taunted.

"I would have liked to have known what sex was before I had it." 

Snape's voice was distant, and his attention fixed on the liquid in the utilitarian decanter, but Harry flinched. He wasn't sure he wanted to know any more about this, but he knew his mind would persist in trying to fill in the blanks until he at least knew who and when. Harry took a quick breath. "Anyone I know?" he asked.

"You've met." Snape turned his head to answer the question coolly, through a faint, mocking smile. "Or so I've heard."

Harry glared. He was not certain he wanted to know, but he was certain that he did not want to play a guessing game.

"Lucius," Snape whispered, his voice almost sultry. "Who else?"

"But you were friends!" 

"Later, yes. By sixteen, I was too old for him. Lucius does not do men, and I was approaching that. We started over." Snape stepped over to another stretch of table and picked up a set of three vials. "Here. Enough for the next three nights, and I've customized it for growing pains."

Automatically, Harry took the potion vials Snape handed him. If Lucius had had sex with Snape when he was still at school, Snape would have been thirteen years old, at most. He was still staring, he realized, as he noticed Snape's irritated expression. 

"He didn't force me, Harry," Snape said sharply. "It was a bargain, and he upheld his end of it."

"Still!" Harry choked. He was too indignant to speak properly. 

"Go flying," Snape said suddenly. "Go with anyone, I don't care. But if Death Eaters come out of the Forbidden Forest, and Remus can't be bothered to help you, don't blame me." Harry started to leave. As he was in the door, Snape added:

"And be back in two hours. If I need to find you, I won't be responsible for what I do to anyone in your presence."

 

Remus Lupin's office door was not latched, but it was closed so that only a crack of space showed. Harry rapped sharply on it and waited for response. The door opened.

"Harry?" Remus brightened. "Would you like to come in?"

"Actually, I wanted to go flying." Harry raised his Firebolt slightly. "Snape says I need someone with me. Do you have time?"

"Professor Snape considers me suitable protection for you?" Remus said, in pleased surprise.

"Not really. But we fought about it, and he got so annoyed he said he didn't care who I went with. So I thought I'd take advantage of his temper and ask you." 

Remus looked slightly less happy, but he nodded. 

"I'd enjoy that. I should get out a bit, while I'm still feeling well enough. By this time next week, the moon will be too close." He yawned. "Let me get on some shoes, and we can go."

 

While they walked through the castle and down over the grounds, Remus asked Harry for more specifics about Harry's study group of the previous year. They discussed learning methods that worked for specific students, and Remus, to Harry's surprise, remarked that he had the makings of a good teacher. 

"Individual style is an important thing to understand," he commented. "Some people never do get it."

"Like Snape?" Harry asked wryly.

Remus sighed. " _Professor_ Snape understands it perfectly well. He willfully disregards it because he will not 'coddle' his students. There, if you like, is an example of where I do not want you to be in twenty years." 

Harry's immediate thought was that Remus had somehow found out -- or -- guessed, about his parentage. He tried to sound politely confused as he asked:

"What do you mean? Why would I be?"

"I know you don't like me bothering you about the Dursleys, and you don't see what use it is, now. However, I think it has affected you, and I would like you to determine how it has affected you and deal with that soon, while you are still young enough to recover."

Harry considered this. He understood what Remus met, but he thought it was an oversimplification. 

"Suppose I'd had a perfectly comfortable childhood," he said. "I could still behave badly because of it. Think of James, going after Snape because he was poorly dressed and not deferential."

Remus glared. "Is that what Professor Snape says happened?"

"No, that's what _James_ said happened." 

Remus looked at Harry as if he Harry had lost his mind. Harry realized he couldn't say he had received a letter from James, because Remus would want to read it. "I read a letter from him," he said vaguely.

"Harry!" Remus was horrified. "You can't poke about in Professor Snape's private things. He'll murder you!"

Harry ducked his head. Remus, he noted, did not disbelieve that James might have said such a thing to Snape. "Fortunately, he caught me in the books," he said. "It wasn't too bad. I just got a fascinating lecture on Dark Arts, and a new set of rules about what I could touch and when." 

Remus groaned. "Oh, and do be careful with his 'fascinating' lectures on Dark Arts. He nearly had your mother into that."

"I thought they didn't get along." Harry waited. _Will he tell me?_

Remus considered this. "For the most part," he answered carefully, "they did not. As you have probably noticed, Professor Snape is not fond of Muggle-born witches and wizards. However, they were briefly friends — my fault, I'm afraid. I was trying establish less hostile relations with Severus, and I took Lily along with me." 

Harry thought about that as they walked. All the adults he knew seemed to edit the histories they would relate to him. Remus, obviously, was not going to volunteer that Harry's biological parents had ever been more than "friends." It made him wonder what else Remus wasn't telling him. They had reached the pitch. Harry watched without comment as Remus picked out a school broom that had probably been current in his own school days. When they emerged back into the sunlight, Harry made a decision. 

"Remus?" Harry asked uncomfortably. "Can I ask you a terribly rude, personal question?"

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. "No," he said, "I have never killed or infected another person." He looked at Harry with a mixture of amusement and irritation. "Was that it?"

"No, actually." 

Remus's eyes widened briefly. He looked abashed. "Sorry — that's the standard one. Ask, then."

"Er... did you and James ever...?"

"Ever what?"

"Er... have it off, or um...? Harry was absolutely unable to get out another word. He had the background thought that he might kill Snape for making him need to ask this.

Remus blinked. He choked out a small laugh. "If we did, would you really want to know?"

"Well, normally, no," Harry said. His face still burned with embarrassment, but Remus's reply enabled him to speak, again. "But Snape implied... You know how I get obsessed with things. I'll just keep worrying at it until I know." 

Remus shook his head. "And there, you are like Severus. Which is why he knows how to take advantage of someone who can't keep his nose out of things that shouldn't concern him."

By sheer force of will, Harry kept his head up and his eyes locked on Remus's. "Should I put all this down as a yes?"

Remus rubbed his forehead, and sighed again. "Yes," he said precisely, "all of _once_ , and it was explicitly experimentation on your father's part. In part, because he was curious as to what I had been doing, and in part because he was angry at Sirius. Had he enjoyed it, he no doubt would have used me to give Sirius fits." 

"So, he didn't?"

"No. He said it 'felt like wanking, not sex.' Not very introspective, James. Fortunately, I had a recent experience with a female friend to draw on, and I told him I had found that similarly disturbing, because she did not smell like a potential mate. He agreed that it was probably something like that, at some subconscious level, and the attempt didn't come between us." Remus looked coolly at Harry. "There. Was that sufficiently more than you wanted to know?"

"I suppose." Harry drew a deep breath. "This 'female friend....'"

"Harry — don't ask." 

"Okay!" Harry said quickly. "Shall we fly, then?" 

Remus mounted the school broom, an old Shooting Star. "I should warn you, I am not in your class on a broom." 

"That's okay," Harry returned. "Your broom isn't in my broom's class, either. Viktor Krum couldn't keep up with me on that broom."

Harry mounted his Firebolt. His pleasure at being about to fly again was immediately overridden by concern as he felt the vials Snape had given him clink together in his pocket. 

"Everything all right?" Remus called down, concerned, as Harry dismounted without ever leaving the ground. 

"Fine," Harry called back. He took the vials out of his pocket and laid them carefully on the lowest bench of the stands. "Be up in a minute." 

It was only a few seconds later that was he was hovering by Remus, but Remus was still looking down at the bench, his brows furrowed in concern. 

"What are those, Harry?"

"Just some potions. Snape handed —"

"Professor Snape, Harry."

"Professor Snape handed them to me when I was on my way out here. I don't want to drop them."

"This is for ... study?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Something to relax my muscles, okay? I strained some joints."

"Shouldn't you get those from Madam Pomfrey?"

Harry ignored the warning in Remus's tone. "It seems rather silly when I'm staying with the Potions master, doesn't it?" 

"Pomfrey, not geographical convenience, should determine whether or not you need the potions," Remus said severely.

"You just don't like Snape."

"Ignoring the last few weeks, Snape has always hated you, and you are his only path to vengeance on the dead. Are you quite certain you should be drinking whatever he hands you?"

"I had about the same reaction when I saw you getting the wolfsbane potion, remember? I was sure he was poisoning you."

Remus smiled, but very briefly. "I remember. You were hinting broadly, and I had such trouble ignoring it with a straight face." 

Harry nodded. "Well, I need this. I can't tell you specifically why, just yet, and I can't tell Madam Pomfrey, either. Professor Dumbledore knows. Trust me, okay?"

Remus looked down through the air under their feet to the distant lines of the vials. 

"Harry ... I wish you had told me about the Dursleys."

"I tried to!"

"I know. And I made assumptions." Light brown eyes looked up and into Harry's own. "So if anything is wrong now, promise that you'll tell me?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"But you strained some joints, badly enough to need muscle relaxants, but not badly enough to keep from flying, and you cannot tell Madam Pomfrey what happened?"

Harry growled. "Okay, some things are a bit ... strange right now. But I can't tell _you_ about them, either."

"Why not?"

"It would be too dangerous. Dumbledore knows. He agreed. And I didn't do anything wrong." 

The name of Dumbledore failed to work its usual magic on Remus. He looked, if anything, angry. 

"Dumbledore is a brilliant man, but I sometimes wonder about his priorities. Actually, no. I don't wonder. I know. He has the priorities of a leader. You have enough of that, Harry. You need someone with the priorities of a father." 

Harry scowled. "Don't tell me what I need, Remus." 

He shot off and up, before Remus could reply. Remus's school broom was no match for the Firebolt, and their conversation was not one that could be continued in brief shouts. Harry did his best to replace the subject with "over here!" and "beat you to the hoops" until it would sound awkward to pick up the talk where they had left it. 

 

After an hour, Harry decided he had had enough of flying. Remus was not much of a flyer and could not handle the hands-free flying necessary to throw or catch a Quaffle, so Harry couldn't start up any sort of a Quidditch drill with him. Harry, under Remus's disapproving glare, retrieved his potion vials, and Remus locked up the school broom. They headed back to the castle. The day was still overcast, with an unpleasant, heavy warmth. 

"I bet you're looking forward to the start of term," Remus offered, as they walked across the lawns. "Your teammates will be much more fun than some old professor."

Harry, not wanting to criticize Remus's flying, made a noncommittal noise. 

"Aren't you looking forward to the start of term?" Remus pressed. 

"I suppose." Harry shrugged. "It will be nice to have my friends back, and such. Even just other students who aren't friends. It's too quiet around here."

"And you'll be back in Gryffindor."

Harry thought about his room in the dungeons, then his shared room in Gryffindor tower. He decided it was about an even trade, with certain things, such as roommates, coming in equally on pros and cons. 

"And Snape will be publicly torturing me again," he said irritably, "for the benefit of Crabbe and Goyle and Malfoy, and that ilk." 

"Will he?"

Harry nodded. "It's politically important," he said. "We've discussed it." Harry stopped suddenly. They were still far enough from the stairs that no one could be eavesdropping on them. 

"You should not have gone after him, last night," he said fiercely. "We are not maintaining a pretense of animosity for the staff, but they are not members of the Order, and you should not draw their attention to behaviors that may endanger him." 

Remus looked uncertain for a moment, then shrugged.

"If questioned, I'm sure he will tell Voldemort that he is attempting to lull you into a false sense of security — as he well may be." 

Harry growled. "I feel like the two of you don't know each other at all!" he exclaimed in annoyance.

"I assure you, we know each other quite well."

"But you don't! He obviously knows some other Remus Lupin from some magically linked world — some faithless, amoral beast who will lead me someplace dangerous and abandon me to my enemies, if he doesn't attack me himself. And you think he is so obsessed with hating James that he will kill me with art rather than expediency — you don't have his personality as horribly wrong as he has yours — I will admit he is vengeful -- but you have mine wrong, which is almost worse."

"How so?" 

"You think I'm some gullible, delicate child who can't stand up to a willful adult for four weeks."

"I've seen no sign of you standing up to Professor Snape."

"Just because we don't air our arguments at the dinner table doesn't mean I do everything he says. I do have opinions, you know." With an aggravated sigh, Harry pushed his hair back from his face. Remus jerked backward, as suddenly as if Harry had pulled a wand on him. 

"Remus?" Harry asked. 

For a moment, Remus just stared at him, his mouth slightly open. Finally, he swallowed and licked his lips nervously. When he spoke, his voice was strained. 

"Where did you get that ring, Harry?" 

Harry looked at his hands. In just a few days, he had become sufficiently accustomed to the little emerald ring that he often forgot he was wearing it. He expected he would be conscious of it when school started — it was showier than he was comfortable with. 

"Snape gave it to me," Harry said nervously. "He said it was my mum's." He realized suddenly that Remus knew that — his reaction was not to Harry having a ring, but to Harry having _this_ ring. 

"It was not," Remus said tightly. "It is Severus's ring; your mother wore it, for a time."

"Well, it is mine now!" Harry snapped. _Damn it, I should have said Dumbledore gave it to me...._

"Severus is not someone you want to accept presents from, Harry," Remus warned, his voice a low growl. "He does not _give_ anything."

"Remus...." Harry began. 

"Severus is a very possessive man," Remus said. "Don't cede him too much authority. He is your host and an adult, but he is not your guardian, your owner, or your lord, and he has no right to tell you what you may wear, or with whom you may speak."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Will you _do_ anything about it?" Remus demanded. 

"Professor Lupin," Harry said intently, "one of the things I've learned — almost — is that not everything you believe is worth fighting about. I am not you. I don't need to _try_ to fight — I need to try _not_ to fight." He focused on Remus, trying to sway him with pure sincerity. "If I'm letting these things go, I have my reasons."

Remus stared at him. "Do you." The tone didn't make it a question to answer. Harry stared back. "Well, good luck, Harry. Remember that I'm here for you, always. If Severus gives you any trouble, come to me." 

With that, Remus turned and strode across the lawn towards the door. When he was halfway there, he paused and looked back. 

"I'm expected to see you inside, I believe."

Harry marched over, past Remus and up to the doors. In the open doorway, he turned and looked back. Remus was still standing where he had stopped, staring after him. Harry slipped inside and let the door swing shut behind him. 

 

This time, Snape looked up immediately when Harry entered the lab. 

"I see I don't need to hunt you down." 

"No."

Snape smiled slightly as he turned away. "You're annoyed," he observed.

"Some, yeah."

"Why?"

"Everybody tells me these little self-serving half-truths, then expects me to tell them my innermost thoughts. I'm sick of it."

"Would this 'everybody' be Lupin, or Dumbledore?"

"Lupin, this time, though Dumbledore has done the same. Sirius did too, and Mrs. Weasley does. I suspect you and James, as well. You never have told me what you thought of his account of things."

"It had a certain number of half-truths, but they were not self-serving."

"Do you care to elaborate?" Harry asked coldly.

"No. I don't. Our personal lives of twenty years ago are none of your business."

Harry sighed and pulled himself up onto a stool. "I suppose. But when Remus says you and Lily were 'friends, briefly,' it makes me wonder what the other things he says mean. 'Friends' don't produce children."

Severus shrugged. "They can. Lily had one potentially child-producing act with Lupin, and they were certainly no more than friends." 

Harry buried his face in his hands in dismay that was only half-affected. "Aaargh!"

"You didn't want to hear that, did you?" Snape said slyly. "So do you want me to edit, or not? At the moment, you look like you do."

"No." Harry looked up seriously. "No, I don't. Don't dwell on it, but don't edit." 

Snape frowned. "I will ... re-evaluate," he said.

"Thanks."

"I don't know that you'll say that for long." Snape hesitated. "About what I told you earlier...."

"About Lucius?"

"That ... conversation. My reaction was entirely inappropriate. Don't go running out and shag someone just to prove you can." He looked uneasily at Harry. "You have me thinking too much of that year. From time to time, when I've been alone, I find myself feeling like I did then, and I catch myself cursing or taunting you like some lawless child." He pulled his fingers absently through his hair, separating it into thin black strands, and grimaced. "It wasn't a very fatherly response."

"No, it wasn't," Harry agreed, but he found he was amused by the observation. "Would you like an assistant, this afternoon? So you don't think too much?"

"I think an Occlumency session, first."

"All right." 

 

For the next two days, Harry stayed down in the dungeons, alternately reading and helping Snape with some antidotes the Potions master expected to need for the first week of classes. They skipped the Wednesday staff dinner by both conveniently pretending to forget it. 

Thursday evening, Harry was by himself, reading Blood Magic, which focused on the theory of spells and potions using bodily components, with numerous examples for healing and battle potions and spells, including, intriguingly, both the Paternity Charm and Herem. Snape had pointed out that two-thirds of the examples were actually Dark Arts, and more than that would be illegal, due to their use of human blood, but he had approved of Harry reading the book, which he described as "sensible and unbiased." 

Harry was just starting the chapter on disguise spells (including the Paternity spell), when he heard a light thump on the door. It was followed by others, irregularly spaced. He opened the door to find Pigwidgeon bouncing around the hallway. This time, he took the little owl to the kitchen and offered it a dead mole. He then opened the letter.

> Harry,
> 
> Mum's talked to Professor Dumbledore, and he reckons you can go to Diagon Alley, this year. We'll be doing our shopping this Saturday. I hope you can meet us! I've heard you're fine and that Hermione's parents saw you, but it's not the same as seeing you myself. 
> 
> Did I tell you Hermione and I were seeing each other? Well, we broke up. It seemed like it would be perfect until we made it formal, and then it was just a disaster. She wanted me to be entirely different, and I guess I wanted the same from her, too. We spent a few weekends together and broke up the last one. I guess we weren't too serious, because we're already laughing about it — it's kind of a relief to have it done. So if Fred and George start teasing me about my "summer fling," that's what they're on about.
> 
> We need to go see their shop, of course — that's where my family will be flooing into. Mum says Professor Dumbledore might like that for you, too, as it will be a bit more private than the Leaky Cauldron. 
> 
> Hope to see you!
> 
> Ron

 

Harry composed a reply immediately:

> Ron,
> 
> After years of ramp-up, you went out with Hermione for a few weeks? During summer? You prat! Well, as long as you're okay with each other now, I'm okay with it. 
> 
> I would love to meet you in Diagon Alley. Will Hermione be there, too? I'll ask Dumbledore, and you'll have a more definite reply from him, probably via your mum. 
> 
> Living at school is pretty good, but some of the teachers fight with each other a lot. I think they need students around to make them behave! 
> 
> Definitely hope to see you soon!
> 
> Harry

 

Harry sent Pig off with the reply, but was still cleaning owl pellets off the table when Snape arrived.

"Accident?"

"Owl." 

"Ah. What about?"

"The Weasleys invited me to meet them in Diagon Alley on Saturday. Can I? 

"You probably could. You are dangerously resourceful." 

Harry gave an aggravated sigh. "May I?" he clarified. "Please, sir?"

"If Dumbledore approves it. I still expect you to dress properly." 

Harry grinned. "You are so much better than the Dursleys." 

"Should I be insulted?"

 


	19. Echoes of the Past

 

The next day, Dumbledore stopped by the lab while Harry was chopping witch burr for one of the potions Snape was preparing.

"Good afternoon!" said the headmaster's cheery voice. "And what are we working on today?"

"I," Snape said pointedly, "am brewing several antidotes that the incompetence and carelessness of my students will no doubt make essential in the coming month, and Harry is helping me with preparing components. You are standing in the doorway, distracting me, perhaps dooming some third-year to a week of boils." 

Dumbledore's mouth quirked into an amused smile. "I will be quick, then," he said pleasantly. "First, the Grangers have agreed to Hermione's return, but I am still receiving other worried queries. I have sent a letter to Fudge requesting that he speed up negotiations with the Muggle Prime Minister, or allow a team to modify the correct memories, so that Harry may be exonerated in the Muggle world. I have also sent a letter to the parents of all Muggle-born students, to explain Harry's situation and refer them to the relevant Wizarding publications."

"I suppose you could not have allowed a few of them to be frightened off?" Snape asked sourly.

"Of course not," Dumbledore said cheerily. "Who can say which of them might be the next Lily Evans?" He winked at Harry. "I also wished to remind you, as you both seem prone to forgetting, that I expect your presence at dinner tonight." 

"Will your werewolf be leashed?" Snape inquired bitingly.

"I have reminded Remus of his duties in courtesy and discretion." Dumbledore nodded his farewell. "At seven this evening, then." They listened to his footsteps recede. 

"I guess we better go," Harry offered, as he brushed the chopped witch burr into a waiting bowl. 

"Hand me the cuttlefish ink, unsealed."

 

In light of that response, Harry was rather surprised when Snape actually did stop working at five-thirty, and more so when Snape spent longer than usual in the bath. When the door to the bathroom opened, Harry was engrossed in Blood Magic. He looked up only when he caught a whiff of his own shampoo. Snape had used a drying spell on himself, as he usually did before emerging. His hair was a single sheet of smooth, glossy black. Harry goggled. 

"Acceptable?" Snape asked wryly.

"Um... yeah," Harry said. "I can deal with that." He grinned. "Wow." 

"You have seen me with clean hair before, you know," Snape said dryly.

"Mm." Harry stood. "I might not have noticed, if I wasn't really looking at you. It's so shiny. I'd fill in what I expected to see." Tentatively, he reached a finger out and ran it down the fall of Snape's hair. 

"Harry," Snape said warningly. 

"Just curious what it felt like. Does this mean it's time for me to throw robes on over this?" Harry gestured down at his own clothes. 

Snape nodded. "And comb your hair," he added, smirking. "It's a mess." 

"It is not!" Harry retorted, but he went off to his room, anyway, determined that he was not going to look less presentable than _Snape_ , however much his opinion of him may have improved. 

 

Harry decided to try the green robes, open, over his trousers and shirt. Remus often did that. Harry checked in the mirror and decided that the look worked well, with better clothes to base it on. 

"Suits you, dearie," the mirror said cheerily. "Tasteful, yet casual."

"Thanks," Harry said, privately agreeing. He looked well-dressed, but not overdone or contrived. He wondered if Hermione would like it. It was a wizarding outfit, but not aggressively so. 

"Try it with the boots," the mirror suggested.

Harry did that. It didn't look much different, as the boots were mostly hidden by the trousers, but they gave him a little more height, and he noticed he stood differently in them. He walked back and forth a few times, and decided yes, he looked subtly better in the boots. 

"Okay?" he asked the mirror.

"Just lovely," the mirror said. "Run along, now." 

 

As quietly as the boots would permit, Harry crossed to the door of the kitchen and peered into the living room. Snape was standing by the fire, frowning down at it. He had exchanged his dressing gown for his usual full black robes, which obscured his thinness. His hooked nose showed in profile against the light of a torch on the far wall. Harry stepped a little closer, until he could see that glossy sheet of hair again. 

"So," he asked. "What _is_ your ancestry?"

Snape shot him a sharp look. "Witches and wizards," he said coolly. "For at least five generations." 

"I'm talking about that hair, not what you can do with a wand." Harry sat down in the armchair by the fire. "And don't tell me it's not my business, because it is."

"Very well." Snape glanced at him momentarily, then went back to looking at the fire. "In that sense, I am a mixed blood on both sides. My father was the son of an Arab man and a Scottish woman, and my mother the daughter of an English man and an Indian woman." 

Harry felt uncomfortable. "Parts of the world that I know next to nothing about," he admitted. 

Snape shrugged. "Anything I know is from books. Neither of my foreign grandparents passed down any cultural details, except for a few recipes from my Indian grandmother. Even that was no more than most people would find familiar. Since my grandmother died when I was young, my tastes were still childish, and I remember only sweets." He frowned thoughtfully. "Except for a warm drink I make sometimes."

"What?"

"I don't know a name. It's milk, with saffron, pistachios, cardamom, and sugar, beaten or poured to a froth." He returned Harry's confused look with amused superiority. "I'll make it for you tomorrow morning, if you like."

"Not tonight?"

"No. It's a morning drink." Snape turned from the fire. "Now, we are going to dinner."

Harry sighed. "Okay," he said.

 

They arrived slightly late, again. Harry found himself unable to restrain a grin at the double takes that Snape got from various faculty members. He dared a glance at Remus. To his surprise, the werewolf was staring at Snape with undisguised hatred. 

"Company seems to agree with you, Severus," Professor McGonagall commented dryly, attracting Harry's attention. He wondered when she had returned. 

"Hello, Professor McGonagall." 

"Good evening, Harry. Have you had a productive summer?"

Harry smiled. "If nothing else, my Potions grades should improve." 

"Really?" Remus asked mildly. "Why is that?"

"Practice, Lupin," Snape answered mockingly. "You were familiar with the notion at some point in your life." 

Remus opened his mouth to answer, but Harry frowned at him and shook his head. While he was hesitating, Dumbledore intervened.

"When I want to find you, now, I check Severus's lab." He smiled slightly at Harry. "Not a development I expected."

"He is merely bored," Severus stated. "The moment his friends return, I'm sure he will drop all productive activity in favor of causing trouble on a daily basis."

"Much of your youthful trouble, Severus, was caused in the Potions lab, as I recall." 

Snape looked archly at the headmaster. "More than you know," he said. 

Dumbledore's silver eyebrows rose. "Oh, do you think so, Mr. Snape?"

"Your reputation for omniscience is overstated." 

"I admit I don't know everything, but I may know a bit more than certain young people think." 

Dumbledore and Snape continued to banter in this vein for some time, neither revealing what "trouble" they were referring to. Harry, after deciding nothing of substance would be said, returned his attentions to Remus. When Remus noticed, he responded first with a furious glare, then a pleading look. Harry attempted to convey, with expression alone, that he had no idea what Remus wanted. 

"Have you finished your summer Transfiguration essay, Harry?" McGonagall asked. 

"A few weeks ago. Would you like it now?"

Professor McGonagall nodded. "It would be one less thing to grade the first week of term." She looked thoughtfully at Harry. "We could discuss career planning, as well. Are you still interested in becoming an Auror?"

Harry was suddenly aware that Snape and Dumbledore were no longer talking. In fact, no one else was. He suspected Snape did not think much of Aurors. 

"Yes ... that is, I think so," he said, stumbling over the words. He felt his face heat. 

"It is a difficult path, Mr. Potter. I think you had better be sure." 

"Perhaps we should discuss it on Monday." 

Professor McGonagall looked puzzled. "If you wish. Come by my office at noon, then." 

"Thank you, professor." 

Harry looked nervously at Snape. His father was regarding him with a frown, but it seemed to be the frown that meant he was thinking through something, rather than the one that meant he was about to launch into insults. 

Remus leaned forward slightly. "Harry?" To Harry's relief, Remus spoke in his normal mild tone.

"Yes?"

"I have a number of arguments for and against you becoming an Auror — things you may not have considered. If you have time, perhaps we could talk before your conference with Professor McGonagall? 

Harry hesitated. At the moment, he didn't want to talk to Remus; were it possible, he would avoid any further private meetings with Remus until he could tell him about his parentage. 

"Lupin, the boy does not need you to choose a career for him," Snape said contemptuously. 

"Am I supposed to leave that up to you?" Remus retorted. "Anyway, I don't want to choose _for_ him, I just want to point out some —"

"Fill his head with muddled ideas of righteous glory —"

"Severus, I don't want him to become an Auror any more than you do!" Remus snapped.

"Remus," Dumbledore warned. 

"Excuse me."

"Does this mean we don't need a conference?" Harry asked.

"I want you to understand _why,_ " Remus said intently. "And also that I recognize there are reasons _to_ do it — I will respect that decision if that is what you make, but I want you to hear me out." 

Harry sighed. "Fine. Monday at eleven."

Remus shook his head. "That doesn't give you time to process what I say. How about tea, tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow," Dumbledore contributed, "Harry will be going to Diagon Alley."

"Yes!" Harry exclaimed, delighted. "Thank you!" 

"Tea Sunday, then," Remus said doggedly. 

Harry looked at Severus, who muttered "you may," as if the words were physically painful. Relieved, Harry nodded at Remus. 

"Sunday, then." He saw McGonagall open her mouth, then shut it without saying anything. She sat back and looked curiously at Snape, then at Harry. Harry quickly shifted his attention to his dinner. 

When the pudding arrived, Remus excused himself, but did not leave immediately. He walked to the head of the table and bent to speak quietly to Dumbledore. Dumbledore questioned him, then nodded. After a final look at Harry, Remus left. 

 

At the end of dinner, Dumbledore asked Snape and Harry to come to his office. "I've promised to speak to Remus, first," he said. "Give me ten minutes — Remus is usually concise." 

Five minutes later, Snape stood. 

"Come with me," he said to Harry. "We have a few things to discuss."

Harry followed him willingly, but Snape did not stop to talk. He led Harry to Dumbledore's office, and they rode the spiral stairs up to the small anteroom. Harry could hear Remus's angry voice before they stepped out onto the floor. 

"Believe what you want; I demand you remove Harry from that man's care!"

Snape held a finger to his lips and motioned Harry to the side. Harry gave him an amused look, but remained compliantly silent.

"You cannot demand, Remus —"

"Then I will contest this!"

"Remus, you cannot get custody of Harry — or anyone. You are a werewolf. You know what --"

"Severus doesn't have custody either, nor, I believe, could he get it. Take Harry out of there! He can live with me. You know I would take good care of him."

"When you are well enough, yes."

"That would still be an improvement! Albus, listen to me! Harry is vulnerable, right now. You cannot continue to leave him with the most manipulative, unprincipled, vengeful person at Hogwarts!" 

"Harry seems to be thriving." 

"Thriving! Have you been paying any attention at all? Harry is following him around like a cowed stray. He's wearing Lily's — Oh, don't give me that look! I know his personal history far better than you do."

"I am not sure that is true."

"It had better be. Because if you knew, you should have done something."

Harry glanced at Snape. Snape was stepping anxiously towards the door. He stopped, one hand raised, when Remus continued.

"Never mind — I don't want to hear it. _However_ he may be doing it, Severus has Harry completely under his thumb!"

"I understand that you have personal difficulties with Severus —"

"I loved Severus!" Remus caught himself. "That is not the point," he continued, more evenly. "If you had cared when he was in school, it might matter. If I had been braver, it might matter. But I will not lose Harry because you cannot admit that you lost Severus Snape twenty years ago."

 

Snape brought down his hand and rapped sharply on the heavy door. Harry could see the bright touch of blood at the top of his father's cheeks. When the door opened, Remus first paled, then turned far redder than Snape. Harry decided he was the most capable of speech.

"You wished to see us, Headmaster?" 

Dumbledore nodded. "A moment, Harry." He turned to Remus. "Thank you for your observations, Remus. Good day." 

Remus nodded a coldly polite farewell. "And good day to you, Headmaster." For a moment, his eyes locked on Harry's. The look was feral, warning. A second nod. "Harry." With a bitter smile, Remus nodded a third time. "Severus." The werewolf left the room, closing the door softly behind him. 

"It was unkind of you to listen, Severus," the headmaster reproved.

"We were only there for a moment," Snape returned angrily. "It is not my fault if the werewolf must shout his complaints."

"You realize, of course, that it is highly unusual for Remus to raise his voice. He is very concerned about Harry." 

"I take no responsibility for the beast's fits of hysteria. Now, why did you summon us here?"

Dumbledore sighed. He walked back behind his desk, but did not sit. "You know I have pressed Fudge on the matter of clearing Harry in the Muggle world?"

"He refuses," Snape guessed.

"He claims that, as Harry is a minor, he cannot authorize any action until it is approved by Harry's legal guardian. At the moment, Harry does not have a legal guardian. Fudge would like him to become a ward of the Ministry. He says if I promise not to challenge, he will start the proceedings immediately."

Harry was gripped by terror at the thought of being directly under the control of the Minister of Magic. "You can't!" he blurted out.

"I agree," said Dumbledore. "It would be most unsafe. Severus?"

"We cannot, of course," Snape agreed slowly. "However, I had hoped that I could maintain my position as a spy at least until Halloween...."

"Then we are in agreement!" Dumbledore, who had looked relieved at Snape's statement, finally sat down. "I will apply to be Harry's guardian."

"Will that change anything?" Harry asked. _I hate being bounced around like this,_ he thought. _It isn't as if I wanted to live with Snape, but I'm used to him, now. I know what he expects._

"Other than legally, Harry? No." 

Harry nodded. "I suppose you've been running my life for years, anyway," he said flippantly. 

Dumbledore sighed. "Harry...."

"He will continue to be under my care?" Snape interrupted.

"Covertly, yes." 

"Then I agree. Harry?"

"As far as I can tell, I'm just the bloody Quaffle."

"If that were true, Harry," Snape said tightly, "I would not be asking for your opinion. _Both_ of us have asked for your opinion. Now stop sulking like a spoiled child and reply."

"I don't —" Harry stopped before saying he didn't care. He tried to figure out what he was thinking. Finally, he said:

"Whatever happens, Professor Dumbledore will continue to manage my life, or as much of it as he feels politically necessary, and Professor Snape, you'll still be my father. I've never thought about what I want, because it just doesn't matter. Of course I can't go to the Ministry, and of course we can't give up our spy any earlier than we need to, so there's no choice to be made." He turned to Dumbledore. "You will become my guardian. That's fine with me. I'll try not to be rude about it, but don't pretend we have options."

"We understand your position, now, Harry," Snape said coldly. "Now, apologize to the headmaster for being rude -- respectfully." 

Harry glowered briefly at Snape, who looked contemptuously back at him. Sighing, Harry turned to Dumbledore. 

"I'm sorry I was rude, sir." At Dumbledore's unhappy expression, Harry found himself more sincerely contrite. "I like you, and, under other circumstances, would have been happy to have you as a guardian." Harry thought for a moment. "Although I think you'd be a bit weird and difficult to figure out," he added honestly. He looked back at Snape. 

"I apologize for sulking, sir. Is that better?"

"Much," Snape said, with arrogant satisfaction. "You are not an adult, Harry. If you want to be treated as a mature young man, you must remember to act like one." He sighed and rubbed his temples. "So, you become his guardian," he said to Dumbledore. "That will work while he is perceived as an orphan. What do we do when the inevitable happens?"

Professor Dumbledore looked searchingly at Harry. "Perhaps it will not," he said. "He may not look as much like you as we fear he will." 

To Harry's surprise, the headmaster's words filled him with dread. _I couldn't take that,_ he thought. _I don't want to spend the rest of my life lying to everybody._

"I expect he will," Snape countered. "I have seen subtle resemblances already." 

Dumbledore sighed. "The change will be complete by the end of January, but identifiable resemblance, if it is present, may come earlier. How long will it take you to implement the contingency plans we discussed?"

"It depends on whom I see and when. Six to eight weeks will probably suffice for distributing the devices, but I need them to be available, first. Flitwick is still uncertain of his results. It would help if I could tell him more of our intent."

"Non-humans find their allegiances more strained. Not without --"

"Of course," Severus interrupted dryly. "But the fact is, the information we can provide to him is limited. And even if everything works, this will still cost us. Passive monitoring is never as effective as being able direct a conversation towards potentially valuable information."

Dumbledore turned to Harry. "How would you feel about being acknowledged, if it came to that?"

Harry looked uneasily between the two men. Both waited more anxiously than he could account for.

"It will eventually happen, whatever we do, right? I mean, even if he doesn't acknowledge me, people will probably know." 

Dumbledore nodded slightly. "It may become obvious. It will almost certainly be obvious that your former resemblance to James was contrived." 

"So all right then." Harry shrugged. "Some people will be a pain about it, but that will happen anyway." He thought about Ron's possible reactions and tried not to shudder. "Actually, if we could get a month into term, that would help."

"Understood." Dumbledore smiled sympathetically at Harry, and pushed back from his desk. "Very well. Fudge has allowed me a week to decide. I will take all of that." Amusement lightened his weary features. "We will drag every stage of this out as long as possible. At worst case, Severus, that should give you your two months, and Harry, you should have more than a month of school behind you." He stood, and moved over to Fawkes's perch. One hand stroking the bird's brilliant plumage, he said:

"It may be time to tell the Order."

"No." Snape's reply was immediate, and almost angry. Harry shrank back in his seat. 

"Remus, at least."

"No. It is my personal business, and I will not have anyone's stupidity or sentimentality endangering my last efforts. We will tell them when we need to, not before." 

Harry wanted to protest, just to end the fights with Remus, but then he thought about who else was in the Order: pretty much all the Weasleys, except Ron and Ginny, and Fred and George would tell Ron. On the whole, he would much rather tell Ron himself, though he wasn't sure how he would do it. 

"Harry?"

Harry shrugged, then pressed back in his chair again. "I want to tell Remus. Everybody else can wait." 

"We are _not_ telling Remus!" Snape shouted. 

Harry felt a bit safer now that Snape was yelling. He sat straighter. "Now who can be heard from the anteroom?" he asked bitingly. Snape twitched, then, to Harry's surprise, nodded slightly. 

"Good point." 

"Well then," Dumbledore said, leaving the phoenix, "are we done for the night?"

Harry nodded and stood. Snape stood also. 

"Should you have any concerns, Harry," Dumbledore offered, "you are always welcome to come speak to me." 

Harry nodded. "I know."

"And Severus?"

"Should I have anything of significance to say," Snape said coldly, "I will come speak to you." 

"By then, it is often too late." Dumbledore smiled at the Potions master with evident fondness. "You are too practiced in ignoring the stirrings of your heart, Severus."

And that, Harry knew, was intended for him as well. Snape snorted contemptuously, much as Harry wanted to, and bid the headmaster goodnight. 

 

They walked to the dungeons in silence. As soon as the door of Snape's quarters closed on them, Harry turned on Snape. "I want to tell Remus," he said fiercely.

"I have told you before," Snape said, in a threatening low voice, "and I tell you again, _no._ " 

"What is your problem with Remus?" Harry demanded. "Don't tell me he's a werewolf — that doesn't half explain it. You can brew the wolfsbane potion, so you know that's a disease, not an indication of character." 

"I have sufficient experience with Remus's character to know you should not trust him."

"What?" Harry screamed. "Don't tell me he can't be trusted; give me a frigging example, okay?"

"Language, Harry."

"Fuck my language!" Harry shrieked. He stopped suddenly and giggled. "Um...."

"You were saying?"

Harry took a deep breath. Evenly, he said, "I want to know _why_ you don't trust Remus."

"He spent his school years leading his friends into danger —"

"And you spent yours practicing Dark Arts. I don't believe that's why you distrust him!"

Snape glared at Harry. Harry sat deliberately in the center of the couch and stared back. He waited.

"Very well," Snape said icily. "Be it on your head. In our sixth year, Remus decided to come apologize to me for his friends' behavior, and his inability to control it. He thought that if I was better groomed that James and Sirius might not give me such trouble, so he made my ... socialization a project. This, of course, made no difference to Sirius and James, but Remus and I ... courted."

"What?" Harry asked, astounded.

"He was my boyfriend for nearly three months. You can imagine, of course, Sirius's reaction when he found out. Remus, who had previously given all his attention to Sirius and James, now had a lover — not only that, but another boy — not only that, but the boy they hated most in all the school. When Sirius failed to break us up by persuasion or verbal trickery, he decided that having Remus kill me would do the job nicely."

Harry looked at the hate on Snape's face with confusion. "But that was Sirius. Remus didn't know."

"Remus never told me!" Snape bellowed. "Three months I was with him. I was far more precocious than he, and had him in bed by the end of that. Yet he never told me he was a werewolf."

"What does it matter?"

"That I was doing _that_ with an animal?" Snape said in disgust.

"Remus is not an animal! He is a person — ninety-nine percent of the time, anyway."

"Closer to ninety-seven point nine, if you are counting only the physical time as a wolf, but he is affected far more than that."

"But a person, still."

"Even if I accept that," Snape said contemptuously, "he would still be a person with a very dangerous disease."

"Is that relevant? I thought it could only be spread by a bite in the wolf form."

Snape shivered. He looked off into empty air as he mused, "There was a slight risk. A bite the other way can provide a transmission avenue during the days of the full moon. He had told me not to bite him, but I would have had his blood eventually. He had scars, and frequently fresh wounds, and no plausible explanation of why. I had guessed that he enjoyed ... either inflicting them or receiving them, and was afraid to admit it. It wasn't an unreasonable theory - he was the sort who would not say what he wanted, if he thought he shouldn't want it."

"So you were at risk."

"Not much. He avoided being near me the days that it might have mattered." Snape slumped back. He looked oddly drained. "It was more ...." He took an audible breath. "I had told him things I had never told anyone. Things about my family, and how I grew up, and surviving in Slytherin without physical power." Snape met Harry's eyes. His own were a shadowed, bottomless black. "He told me nothing, not even the secrets he had shared with them."

Harry sat for a moment, frozen by the despair in Snape's face. Suddenly, he remembered something. "But he didn't tell them."

"Don't be ridiculous —"

"He didn't! I remember him telling me about it, after I found out. He didn't tell them; they figured it out and confronted him. As far as I know, Remus has never _told_ anybody."

An odd expression crossed Snape's face, then resolved into a sneer. "Pathetic." 

"Yes, well we have discussed Remus's character flaw," Harry retorted. "And we might be able to find one or two more, but it could take us ten minutes to list each other's. I admire Remus, and I still see no reason to distrust him." 

It was a measure of his father's distress that the other stayed silent. Harry looked at him and sighed. "Still..." he said. "How you feel makes a bit more sense to me, now." Harry bit his lip. "Was this before or after my mum?"

Snape snorted. "Do you honestly think Remus would have so much as spoken to me after I discarded Lily as an unworthy Mudblood?"

Harry flinched slightly at the epithet. "I suppose not," he agreed. Absently, he looked down at the ring on his finger and twisted it back and forth in the light from the fireplace. 

Snape sighed and sat down in the armchair. "Lily was Remus's best friend," he continued, "and the only one of Remus's friends who accepted me. She and I had a certain ... intellectual compatibility. While I was with Remus, we became close. Unlike Remus, who was moderately clever and very studious, Lily was my intellectual equal. While she did not approve of my fascination with Dark Arts, she was capable of understanding the theories I explained to her. I told my friends in the Dark Lord's camp — I was just starting to enter that set, at that point — that she was different from other Muggle-born witches. She was brilliant, powerful — perhaps some sort of sport."

"Genetically, you mean?"

"Yes." Snape thought for a moment. "My justification for her, of course. Lily attempted to intervene on Remus's behalf. Neither of us was precisely sure when we switched to talking about ourselves. I asked her out before the month was over. Remus and I avoided each other as much as possible — he got top marks, that term. Sirius was as awful as ever, but James ... James had finally seen Sirius do more than he was willing to go along with. He kept Sirius in line, and was actually civil in his interactions with me. Peter followed the lead of the most powerful one present, whether that was Sirius or James."

"You weren't with her for very long, though."

"No. It had been four months when term was over."

"But you proposed to her." Harry looked down at the ring, again. _He and Remus ... Does Remus think he gave me this because I have taken her place?_ He winced. _Oh hell. That's exactly what he thinks. "I know more of his history than you do..." No, Dumbledore seemed to know about that. Oh -- Lucius. Hell!_

 "... impetuous." Snape was saying. "She didn't think we were old enough, but she loved me — and perhaps hoped to bind me to her, to temper my prejudice. She accepted on the basis of long engagement — we would not marry until a few months after leaving school. I gave her the ring. She went home to her Muggle family, but I ... I did not want to go home, no more than you did. I split my summer between Augustus's house and Lucius's."

"And became a Death Eater." 

Snape clasped his hands before his face and nodded. "Yes. I did not take the Mark until Halloween, but I ... I made my first kill in August. I broke up with her on the train in September, and I was back to outright war with James before we set foot in school." Snape grimaced. "And he had her by October."

Harry rested his chin in his hands. "And I thought my personal life was complicated."

"Don't speak too soon. Your sixth year hasn't started." 

Harry nodded. "Severus," he said earnestly. 

" _What_ did you just call me?"

"Severus. Is there something you would rather I called you?" Harry bit his lip. "'Professor' seems a bit distant, and you're not a 'Dad' sort."

Snape thought about this for a while. "You may refer to me by my given name," he decided, "since you refer to James, that way. I still do not want to be addressed that way. I would not object to 'Father' in absolute private, though I do not expect it." He snorted. "On the whole, I think you would be foolish to become accustomed to anything you cannot use in front of your fellow students."

"Father," Harry started again. The word sounded odd, coming from his lips. For a moment, he felt as if he were in a play, and then he felt very emotional. He tried to ignore both feelings and plowed on. "Remus is very worried about me."

"I have noticed that," Snape said dryly.

"He has warned me you are possessive, sometimes unreasonable."

"He is correct." 

"Fine, but..."

"I do not want Remus Lupin informed of any further details of my private life!" Snape bellowed.

Harry flinched. He recalled noting that when he was ordering Remus out of the Snape's rooms.

"Go to bed," Snape ordered. "It's late."

"Oh, fine," Harry muttered. _Ordering Remus out...._ In the door to the kitchen, he turned back. "Where do you think Remus thinks I sleep?" he asked. The words out, he fled. 

 

Harry considered his own words while getting ready for bed. Perhaps it would help matters with Remus if he simply talked about his bedroom, and how much he would miss the privacy when term started. _It's a plan,_ he decided. _I'll base my teatime conversation on why I'm not completely thrilled about returning to the dormitory. Neither of us has to admit to thinking anything improper._ That settled, he fell into bed, and, immediately, asleep. 

 


	20. The Twins' New Trick

 

The next morning, Harry initially dressed in the grey trousers, a white shirt, and the green robes. After examining this in the mirror, he decided the grey combined with the green made the outfit far too Slytherin. He switched to the black trousers, and decided the same of the white and green. He changed to a black shirt, as well. Finally, he closed the robes, so that it no longer mattered — _except,_ he thought, _that I'm wearing green._

The robes, he discovered, now showed a half-inch of his trousers below them. He seemed to have grown taller, again, but apparently in the torso. Harry looked closely at his face. He thought his lips might be thinner, and his face, as a whole, slightly more elongated, but he wasn't sure. He wondered if he could surreptitiously get an old picture of himself from one of his friends. 

Snape banged on the door. 

"The Weasleys are expecting us in twenty minutes! If you want breakfast, you need to get out here, now!" 

Harry came out quickly. 

"Sorry. I was trying to decide if I look different."

"Of course you look different," Snape said sarcastically. "You look like a wizard, not a Muggle refugee. Eat, now. I'll be back in time to Floo ahead of you to ... that _joke_ shop. 

 

Snape preceded Harry to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, with instructions to Harry to wait two minutes before following. Harry complied. When he arrived, Snape had already left. Harry supposed that avoided certain awkward issues, such as whether or not to say goodbye, but he felt rather abandoned. 

"Harry!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed, drawing him into a hug, then brushing ash off his robes. Her own were grey where they had touched his in the brief embrace. "So sorry, dear! Fred and George simply don't think to clean the grate for company."

"That's fine," Harry said. 

"Well, look at you!" she exclaimed. "Such fine robes, and you've done something with your hair! You'll have girls at your feet." 

Harry could not keep himself from scanning for Hermione. She was at the edge of the room, studying him with a puzzled frown. 

"At the moment, the girl seems to be as far away from me as she can get," he commented, grinning at her. 

An annoyed snort came from somewhere to his left. Harry turned and saw Ginny glaring at him. 

"Sorry —"

"Oh, that's all right! I know _I'm_ not a girl; I'm a little sister."

"I hadn't seen you, Ginny, that's all."

"Well, I need to get going," Ginny said loftily. "I'm meeting Dean at Florish and Blotts." To Harry's surprise, she winked at him. Perhaps, he reflected, she wasn't as annoyed as she seemed.

 

After multiple rounds of instructions as to where they were to meet, and warnings not to go down Knockturn Alley, Mrs. Weasley left to do her own shopping, leaving Harry with Ron, Hermione, and the twins. Ron came forward, grasped Harry's hand, and thumped him companionably on the shoulder. 

"Always wondered what would happen if you got away from the Dursleys! You've grown! Were they feeding you shortness potion, or something?"

"They just weren't feeding me. We think this may be my first growth spurt that came when I was getting food." 

Harry looked past Ron at Hermione, who was hovering just out of reach. "Some welcome!" he said. "Since when is Ron's mother the only person who gives me a hug?"

Hermione smiled, then looked down. She stepped up to him and hugged him. Harry put his arms around her and pulled her close. He hadn't remembered it feeling like this. He breathed in the scent of her hair and tried to memorize it. When she shifted slightly, he released her, and glanced nervously at Ron, who rolled his eyes, then gave him a thumbs up. 

_Ron doesn't want her!_ Harry found he was grinning so broadly that he could feel it in his cheeks. He was amazed to discover he cared. _Well, she's always been for Ron — I mean, since she's been for anybody. I guess I knew not to care._

"Such a _touching_ display," one of the twins commented. Harry turned and looked. He thought it was Fred. Fred had a slightly different way of standing when he was being dramatic. 

"Nice to see you, too," Harry returned. "How's business?"

"Still growing," Fred said cheerfully.

"Did you like the samples?" George asked. 

"Honestly," Harry said, "I haven't been able to try them. I didn't have any time I could during my last week at the Dursleys, and at Hogwarts ... It didn't seem like a good idea, with the professors checking on me as often as they did." He smiled encouragingly at them. "I have plans to go at them the first few weekends of term, though."

"We have something you should try now," George confided. 

"A perfect trick —"

" — or treat — " 

" — for an overly-famous —"

" — retiring wizard."

Fred pulled out a small box from his inner pocket, opened it, and took out a reddish-brown sweet, which he handed to Harry with a flourish. Harry examined it suspiciously. 

"This isn't going to make me invisible, is it?" he asked. "Or tiny? Or otherwise unable to buy my school supplies?"

"Not at all!" Fred assured him. "You will be perfectly visible and mobile."

"Human?"

"Yes."

Harry eyed the twins suspiciously for a moment, then, with a shrug, popped the sweet into his mouth. It had a strong chocolate taste, but that didn't manage to cover something unpleasant beneath that. It melted almost immediately in his mouth.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, apparently surprised at his acquiescence. 

Harry felt a slow blossom of heat at his navel. The heat flowed over his skin, outward in all directions, until his fingers, toes, and the top of his head all felt like the most extreme blush he could imagine. Slowly the feeling faded. "Wow," he said. 

Ron giggled. Harry looked at him, and Ron choked. Suddenly, the redhead looked very alarmed. 

"Told you it would look better with that black hair," Fred commented. 

Harry looked down at his hands. They were brown. Not paint-brown, but a natural-looking dark skin brown, lighter on the palms. He looked up again. Hermione was staring. 

"Uh... Got a mirror?" he asked. 

George pointed his wand at the window between this room and something that looked, from Harry's brief glance, like an office, and the window became a mirror. Harry stepped up to it. 

"This is great!" he exclaimed, examining his reflection. His skin was dark, but his features were unaffected. Chocolate brown skin combined oddly, but attractively, with his black hair. It made his scar even more noticeable, but if he covered that somehow, no one would recognize him.

"I dunno, mate," Ron said. 

"But I wanted to go into Muggle London!" Harry explained. "I can do it like this." Harry turned to Fred and George. "How long does it last?"

"Not long ..."

"...just a month or two."

Harry rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't dare. Not to your partner. How long, really?"

"About two hours." 

"Great! That's perfect." Harry glanced over at Hermione, who was surveying him with evident fascination, and Ron, who still looked alarmed. "But I need to talk to you for a few minutes, first. In private, as your partner."

Fred moved to one side and with a sweeping bow motioned Harry towards the office door. "We are at your service, Mr. Potter. Please enter." 

 

Once Fred and George were in the office with him, Harry cast _Secretus_ across the door. When he turned back to Fred and George, they were exchanging a questioning look. _Well, it's not like we learn that one in school,_ Harry reasoned. 

"Harry?"

"You used Lee Jordan," Harry stated. "This is exactly his color of brown." 

"Well, yes." 

"But he thinks —"

"Is it blood-based?"

Fred and George looked guiltily at each other. 

"It's not as bad as people say, really," Fred began.

"But you can't _sell_ it," Harry pointed out. _They shouldn't even be showing it to anyone!_ "You'll get in trouble — it's illegal. If I was an Auror, and I saw this trick, that's the first thing I'd check for. Because you had to have used a bodily component, and blood is the most potent one."

George stared. "Where did you learn this?"

Harry smirked at him. "I've had access to Professor Snape's private library, this summer." He hesitated. "How much do you know about bodily components?" he asked.

"Er... not much. We haven't been able to get it to work with spit, or a scraping of the skin, itself."

"Concentrate on fluids," Harry advised. He thought back to the first chapters of Blood Magic. As if in a class, he recited the basics. "Urine and pus are not usable for general applications. Of the common bodily components, the order of effectiveness, least to most, is sweat, saliva, vaginal fluids, semen, menstrual blood, and finally, venous blood." He was pleased with how smoothly he managed to say all of that. "There are some odd things, like cranial fluid, that are as effective as blood for some applications, but dangerous to extract. I will presume you don't want to risk Lee's sanity."

"Right on that, mate," Fred said faintly. George was wide-eyed and slack-jawed. Harry discovered that shocking the twins was a bracing, possibly addictive, experience. He forced his tone to remain coolly casual as he added: 

"I'd suggest semen, if you can get Lee to toss for the cause. You still wouldn't want your customers to find out how it's done, but it wouldn't be illegal."

"Er...."

"Harry?" George choked out.

Fred struck a tragic pose. "Ah ... innocence is so fleeting!"

"You've been in Snape's library?" George asked, recovering a portion of his composure. His voice held a trace of admiration. "Is it better than the Restricted Section?"

Harry shrugged. "I've always been looking for something specific in the restricted section, so I can't really compare." 

"You're not studying Dark Arts, are you, mate?" Fred asked anxiously.

"Some of the books have some Dark Arts," Harry admitted, "but I haven't been trying any of it. It's useful to know the theory, right?"

"Well, right, but Harry —"

"I just gave you a less dangerous way to achieve your ends, didn't I? I couldn't have done that if I didn't know the theory. And not all blood magic is Dark Arts, either — it's all illegal, but that's recent. And if you're actually _using_ human blood, you've no grounds to go after me for just knowing how to use it." 

George shivered. "True enough." 

"You two be careful, all right? If you get in trouble for illegal components, I'll be implicated, too. And it could ruin your father."

Even Fred looked embarrassed. "It was just too good not to show someone."

"It's great!" Harry agreed. "Look, I better get going before this wears off. I'll send you a list of titles you might want to look for, okay?"

"Absolutely."

Harry grinned. "Oh — loan me some money?"

"Loan you...?"

"I'll pay you back this afternoon, but I can't go to Gringotts like this."

"'Course you can."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. Changing your skin color won't fool a goblin."

"Okay. Later then!"

"Wait!" 

Harry turned back. He wasn't sure which twin had hailed him.  
"What?"

George held out another sweet to him. "Take an extra. Just in case you're delayed." 

 

Back in the main room, Harry went back to Hermione and Ron. 

"We couldn't hear a thing," Ron complained. 

"And you didn't want to," Harry informed him smugly. "Let's go. I have an errand to run in Muggle London." 

"With you dressed like that?" Hermione chided. "Harry, I've never seen you look like such a wizard." 

"I've got normal clothes on, underneath the robes. I can just duck into the first doorway, and move the robes into my bag." Harry grinned at Ron. "Come on! It'll be fun. Gringotts, first."

Ron nodded, but anxiously, as they headed out onto the street.

"You look really odd, Harry," Hermione said, matching his pace at his side.

"You think? I thought I looked pretty good." 

"Those green eyes...."

"Do they clash?"

"Not clash, exactly, but they don't look natural." 

Harry shrugged. "So people think I have special contacts. Oh — my scar! I need a headband, or a low hat."

"In here." Hermione pivoted and led them across the street and into a narrow boutique with a sign that said "Miss Trotter's Accessory Emporium." There, she selected a thin gold scarf, which she rolled and tied around Harry's head. "Stunning," she said teasingly. 

Harry checked the mirror. The gold headband gave his startling mix of features an exotic flair. _Not at all my style,_ he thought, _but that's good for a disguise._ Between the dark skin and the changes he had been going through already, covering his scar made him unrecognizable. "Brilliant!" he said.

"You look right peculiar, if you ask me," Ron said darkly. 

"But we didn't," Hermione pointed out. "Let's go." 

 


	21. Diagon Alley

 

Thirty minutes later, Ron was staring around a small Muggle shop with something akin to panic. "What are we doing here?" he asked.

"I need leather trousers for Halloween, and I won't be able to buy them once we're off at school," Harry replied, perhaps a bit more loudly than necessary.

"Is there a costume to go with that?" Hermione asked tartly.

"Well," Harry said, dropping his voice considerably. "One of the teachers was going on about how obscene Muggle clothing is..."

"What?!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Because it shows off my bum."

"Oh, honestly!"

"Well, she has a point," Ron contributed. "I mean, jeans and tight trousers and such are practical, but I wouldn't wear them anyplace nice ... or too seedy, you know. Not without robes over them." 

"So I want to show him what _Muggles_ consider sexy, in a setting where he cannot discipline me for it." Harry wasn't sure why the idea of horrifying Snape this way appealed to him, but it did. _Perhaps because it's such a harmless thing._ He pulled out a pair with side lacings. "What about these?"

"Try them on," Hermione challenged.

Harry did. When he stepped out of the fitting room, Hermione turned very pink and told him they were sexy, but should probably be tighter, and the sales clerk jumped in to agree. 

Harry argued that he had been sick and expected to gain some weight back. After a bit of debating the matter, he tried on a tighter pair. Hermione expressed approval, but it was the way her voice squeaked when she said it, and the way her eyes followed him when he was making sure he could walk in something this tight, that convinced him to take them. They were still not as tight as the clerk advised, but she didn't push the matter.

"If you have any problems with fit," the girl said, accompanying her words with a mischievous leer, "get them wet, then wear them until they dry. They'll shape to your body that way. Sure you don't want them hemmed here?" 

Harry smiled back at her as he took the sack. "Certain," he said. "Thanks for the help." Hermione and Ron tugged him towards the door. 

"Honestly!" Ron said, grimacing, once they were on the street. "And Mum thinks Bill is weird! What's with having a metal stick in your lip?"

"And eyebrow, and nostril, and who knows where else!" Hermione contributed disdainfully, though without Ron's genuine shock. 

"I thought she was pretty," Harry said. "She had a great smile." He grinned. "And I loved those blue stripes in her hair!"

"Yes, well you think Tonks is hot, too," Ron said dismissively.

'Do you?" Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged. "I suppose so. I mean, it's half personality, right? I don't fancy her, or anything." _Not much._

 

Halfway back to Diagon Alley, Ron pulled them into a corner shop to look at Muggle sweets. He got a selection of ones he had never seen before, and Hermione got fruit drink. Harry got two packs of ten Silk Cut and a glare from Hermione.

"Harry!" she scolded. "When did you start _that?"_

Harry shrugged. "Over the summer?" 

"Well, obviously!"

"What are they?" Ron asked curiously, looking at the packs of cigarettes Harry was hurriedly tucking into his sack. 

"Drugs," said Hermione disapprovingly. 

"Muggle drugs," laughed Harry, thinking of Snape's ambiguous disapproval, "but a legal sort, like alcohol." 

"You won't be able to get those in Hogsmeade," Hermione said, with evident satisfaction, as they stepped back out on the pavement. 

"Yeah." Harry looked back at the shop. "I'm kind of tempted to get more." He looked at her and smiled disarmingly. "But I don't have them much. I'll be fine."

"Yeah, right," Hermione snorted. "Tell me when you run out. I'll just study in my room, that week."

"Problem?" Ron asked hesitantly.

"Addictive drugs," Hermione said pointedly. 

Ron looked uncertainly at Harry. Harry shrugged. 

"I don't have them much," he repeated.

 

They crossed back through the Leaky Cauldron and into Diagon Alley. Harry, quite suddenly, desperately wanted a cigarette, but was now too embarrassed to have one in front of Hermione. He suggested they split up for getting supplies not all of them needed, but Ron was having none of it. Harry wondered if Ron was uncertain about being alone with Hermione. Harry found himself in Madam Malkin's being measured for new school robes, with Ron and Hermione still along, chatting with him. 

"Did you honestly think that girl was pretty, Harry?" Hermione asked. 

"Very," Harry said. He looked at Hermione's distress and relented. "Okay -- She would have been more so without the lip piercing. I didn't mind any of the rest of it, and I really liked the hair." He grinned. "And she had an excellent smile. Almost as fetching as yours."

Hermione blushed. It occurred to Harry that he was learning different things from Remus now than he had at thirteen. Suddenly, he was distracted by a rush of heat which moved from his stomach outwards, covering his body, then fading. Hermione gasped. 

"Oh!" Ron exclaimed.

"What?" 

"You're white, again." 

Harry looked down at his hands and found his normal skin color had returned. He wondered if Madam Malkin would be confused when she got back.

 

After getting Harry new robes, they three continued on from shop to shop, buying school supplies. When they had everything they needed, and a bit more, they walked back to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. 

"My treat," Harry said. "Since I've been dragging you both on side trips." He ordered a large sundae, to show they could get anything. Ron followed suit, while Hermione got a small dish of chocolate ice cream, and they claimed a table outside. 

"So ... what's it like, being at Hogwarts over the summer?" Hermione asked, once they were all lazily picking at the soupy remains of their ice creams. 

"Good," Harry said. "I can study when I want, and laze about when I want -- " he smiled wryly -- "I can eat when I want, and I've even got to go into Hogsmeade once." _This could be dangerous — I better keep it all light, so they don't realize I'm leaving things out._

"Are you living in Gryffindor Tower?" Ron asked.

"No..." Harry grinned. "That would be awful, wouldn't it? Alone? No, I'm downstairs. Dumbledore wanted me near teachers." _Like that — inconspicuously vague._

"How do they do meals?"

"Everybody eats in their rooms, mostly, though Dumbledore insists on everyone attending a scheduled group dinner three times a week."

"Isn't that a lot of work for the house elves?" Hermione asked, frowning.

"A lot of work? Hermione, they're practically on vacation! They have only about a dozen people to look after, and you know how many elves there are! They're _desperate_ for work, by now. They started pestering me for things they could do for me — I finally got the idea of asking for elaborate foods like Black Forest cake and Beef Wellington, and they're thrilled! The more complicated, the better."

Hermione shook her head. "I suppose after eight weeks...." she said doubtfully. 

"Done any exploring?" Ron asked quickly. 

"A bit." 

"Have you finished your summer assignments?" Hermione asked. 

"Weeks ago," Harry said, interrupting Ron's attempt to deflect the question for him. Ron looked put out. 

"I told you!" Hermione said triumphantly to Ron. 

"Well, I'm sure Ron has other things to do," Harry pointed out. "I'm at school, with only teachers for company."

"Do you get any extra lessons?" Hermione asked eagerly. "Or practice?"

"A lot of Potions," Harry admitted. "I've been helping Snape get Madam Pomfrey's stocks ready for the start of term."

"That's awful!" Ron said. "Hermione, how can you worry about house elves when Harry has to work with Snape?"

"It's okay," Harry protested. "He's a lot more relaxed during the summer. Even if he weren't, it would still be better than the Dursleys." 

They were all silent for a bit. Harry thought he must be expected to be sad, and felt rather guilty that he couldn't manage it. 

"So, how's your family, Ron?" Harry asked, after the silence started to feel awkward.

"Okay, I guess." Ron chuckled. "Mum flipped when I asked her about the Paternity Charm, you know. She thought I was asking if I was adopted. Like she'd need another kid!" 

"You'd think if she was choosing, she'd pick a girl."

"Well, yeah. It's pretty obvious they kept going till they got one. I was probably a big disappointment." 

"Ron ..." Hermione reproved him. "You know your parents love you."

"Of course they do. But that's not the same as being what they wanted."

Again, there was silence. Harry tried to think of something to keep his friends from bringing up the Paternity Charm or the Dursleys, again. "Oh! I know who the new Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is! Want to know, or would you rather be surprised?"

"Not Snape," Ron pleaded.

"Not Snape."

"Is it someone we know?" Hermione asked eagerly.

"Yes."

"Someone competent?"

"Yes."

They both thought earnestly. Harry supposed that did narrow it down considerably. 

"Someone from the Ministry?" Ron asked.

"No."

"Someone we knew as a student?" Hermione asked.

"No."

Hermione bit her lip. "Someone who's done it before?" she asked tentatively.

"Yes."

"Professor Lupin?" A wide smile lit her face, then faded. "He couldn't, could he? I mean..."

"Yes," Harry said, grinning. "Moony's back!"

Hermione and Ron both cheered. A few people turned to look at them. Harry was surprised at how pleased he was, again, now that he was thinking of Remus as Professor Lupin, the Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor. 

"That's great!" Hermione crowed. "He's intelligent, he's nice, he's..." she blushed — "hot." She covered her mouth. "Oh my God!"

"Mmm." Harry looked at her slyly, remembering how she had looked at Remus when he was saying goodbye to them in the spring. "And bent." 

"Oh no!" Hermione exclaimed, looking simultaneously shocked and fascinated. "Honestly?"

"Honestly. Give it up now." Harry narrowly restrained himself from revealing that Remus had gone out with Snape in school. If any gossip about that surfaced, Snape would never tell him anything again.

They fell silent again. After a moment, Ron sighed and rested his chin on one hand. "We're not kids anymore, are we?" he asked gloomily.

"What?" Hermione returned, confused.

"Well, you're both talking about who's cute and who likes ...er, what, Harry's buying sexy clothes to irritate a teacher and would rather have drugs than sweets, and I ...." Ron hesitated. "I," he admitted, "just looked across the room at some disgusting little boy who's talking with his mouth full and thought he really ought to learn some manners." 

"Bad sign," Harry said sympathetically. "Tragic."

"Is that a problem?" Hermione said testily. "I thought it might be rather nice if the two of you finally caught up with me. Not that I consider Harry's behavior mature."

Glad of an excuse, Harry took out a cigarette and lit it, as if to tease her. She glared. Harry took a deep drag, then quickly another, and felt himself starting to relax, despite his embarrassment. Ron looked at him oddly for a moment, then went back to his sulk.

"Well, what do we do if you end up with someone who isn't one of us?" Ron asked gloomily. Harry now wondered if Ron was regretting breaking up with Hermione. "No one who isn't me is going to put up with Harry, and no one who isn't Harry is going to put up with me, and it will all just be over."

"I'm not going out with anyone who won't put up with you and Harry," Hermione said firmly.

"You don't understand men, Hermione," Ron protested. "Even if you say it's platonic, they just won't allow —" 

"It's not _all_ men, Ron," Harry countered. "If I were seeing Hermione, I wouldn't mind if she had a male friend who wasn't you. Being someone's boyfriend doesn't give you veto power over their friends." 

"Thank you," said Hermione. She glared at him again. "Not that I'd go out with someone who smokes."

"Hermione —" Harry said desperately.

"I mean, that's disgusting. And stupid. And it's got to taste awful —"

Harry interrupted the words by leaning over and kissing her. When she didn't pull away, he twisted and got an arm behind her, then pulled her as close as their separate chairs would allow. He was dimly aware that he was still holding the cigarette, and probably filling her thick hair with the smell of smoke, but mostly he concentrated on her mouth, all cold and sweet from ice cream, and the softness of the skin on her cheeks. When he finally let her go, they were both breathless.

"Well, I ...." she said shakily. 

"All right!" Ron exclaimed cheerfully. "That's settled, then." 

They both glared at him. 

 

The three of them were arguing over the history of their relationships when someone came up the steps to the terrace. Harry looked over, saw Snape approaching, and caught himself on the verge of a smile and a cheery hello. Uncertain how he ought to react to Snape's approach, he looked at his friends. Ron was scowling, and Hermione had become deeply interested in her empty ice cream dish. 

"Mr. Potter," Snape said as he approached, sneering, "the headmaster feels that you need an nursemaid for your return." He might have continued, but on stopping next to Harry, glanced down, saw the cigarette end in his ice cream dish. Harry saw his sneer break, then return. 

"Who gave you that?" he snarled. His eyes moved to Hermione. Harry supposed that might make sense from Snape's point of view. Hermione was from a Muggle family. 

"No one."

"Has Florean taken to offering sundaes with a side order of imported poisons? I find that difficult to believe, Mr. Potter."

"We took a little detour into Muggle London --"

" _What?!_ You brainless, reckless —"

"I was well disguised." 

"I don't care if you were transfigured!" Snape screamed. He caught himself. His face twisted into an expression of pure contempt. "We will discuss it later — with the headmaster. Now...." 

Snape held out a hand. Harry decided that faking ignorance was not worth getting himself further into trouble. Reluctantly, he handed over the open pack of ten cigarettes. Snape responded with a satisfied smile that promised further penalties later. 

"Harry!" Hermione hissed at him.

"Let's go, then," Harry said. He stood up. 

"Harry!" Hermione insisted.

"Is there a problem, Miss Granger?" Snape asked acidly. 

"He has another pack."

"Hermione!" Harry snapped.

"Well, he's right!" Hermione said defensively. "You shouldn't."

Snape snorted. "The dangers of Gryffindor friends have not changed much since my time, I see." He held out his hand again. "The rest of them, Mr. Potter." 

"What would _you_ know about Gryffindor friends?" Ron said angrily. 

Snape favored him with a hard stare. "I had several, Mr. Weasley. And I could never depend on them. They'd back me in a lie only if they agreed with my reason for lying." Ron looked furious, but Hermione seemed to accept Snape's words as a compliment. He looked down and across the table at her, his eyes narrowed in evaluation. 

"I accept you as a temporary ally, Miss Granger. Mr. Weasley, you may want to look up a Gryffindor named Augustus Maitland. I am certain you would find his history educational. Mr. Potter?"

Harry fished his other packages out of the bag from the Muggle shop. "Hold on a moment," he said. "I put my stuff in with some of Hermione's ...." He looked up at her as he handed over the cigarettes, to confirm she would not betray him about the leather trousers. She nodded slightly. 

"Thanks for your help with my shopping," she said, her voice quavering slightly. "See you on the second of September."

"Right." Harry nodded, but couldn't manage to smile at her. In consideration of her current discretion, he managed not to glare. He said a brief goodbye to Ron, and followed Snape down the stairs. Minutes later, he was stepping out of the grate in the bare room next to Dumbledore's office. 

 


	22. Truth

Severus turned on Harry as soon as he was clear of the hearth. 

"What did I tell you about the Muggle drugs?" he hissed.

"That I couldn't do any after term started."

"That you could finish what you had," Severus corrected fiercely, "on the information that was ten or less of them, before term started." _Whatever possessed me to allow that? I ... he was so edgy. He'd had enough sudden changes._

"I'd forgotten that part."

"Even so, what was the point of buying more, now? Term starts in eight days. You'd only be making it harder on yourself. You're bright enough to know that!"

"Look, it was an impulse thing, okay? Ron wanted to try some Muggle sweets, so we went into a shop, and they were just there." 

"But you bought two packs."

Harry ducked his head. "I ... er, reckoned you'd catch me and take one?"

Severus shook his head. "You are far too clever an idiot, you know." 

Harry shrugged. "Perhaps I'm lucky I have Gryffindor friends, then." 

Severus restrained a smile. He brought his focus back to the problem at hand. "You should not have been in Muggle London to begin with," he said. He had no trouble getting angry, again. That had been far too risky. "You're wanted for murder, there, in case you've forgotten."

"I didn't look much like me."

 _Or so you thought,_ Severus added, to himself. " _Do_ tell me it wasn't a hat and different glasses."

Harry laughed. "Fred and George gave me something that made my skin turn brown — African brown — and I put on a headband to cover the scar. If I'd talked to a classmate, they would have figured it out, but no one was going to recognize me from a six year old picture."

Something about Harry's knowing smile caught Severus's attention. He caught Harry by the shoulders and pulled him closer to the wall-torch. He examined Harry's face closely. He was almost certain that the boy had changed from that morning. 

"Don't do that again," he said sharply. "The Weasleys' whatever." 

"Why not?"

"Switching back could accelerate the changes. I think it has."

"Oh." The boy's eyes widened. "Sorry." 

"It could happen with any transfiguration. When your body reconstructs itself, it tries to get it right."

Severus opened the door and gestured for Harry to follow him. They walked in silence down to the ground floor. _I need to ask him about Remus,_ Severus thought. _I won't be able to have a normal conversation with him until I do._ On the stairs to the dungeon, Severus began to speak. 

"About ... last night," he asked hesitantly. 

"What?"

"Do you believe Remus thinks I'm ...." Severus trailed off, again. _How do I phrase this?_

"Yes," Harry answered, not waiting for the continuation. "Or he at least thinks it's likely. If I have to hear one more thing about how I can always come talk to him if I need help, I am going to scream."

"I don't think I've been —"

"I don't think he _was_ suspecting that. He _had_ decided I'd been so damaged by the Dursleys that I'd become neurotically submissive. _Then_ he saw me with my mum's engagement ring. Probably no one else will recognize it, but Remus does. He asked where I'd got it, and I wasn't thinking and told him you'd given it to me. Then he got very strange. I didn't put it together until last night, when you were talking and I was looking at the ring. Then I remembered how he mentioned it in Professor Dumbledore's office, and Professor Dumbledore cut him off as if he'd brought it up before, so he thinks it's important, somehow...."

"And ... I see." Severus's mouth quirked. "I suppose that would seem odd, at best." 

" _Please_ may I tell him? He won't tell. You know he won't." 

Severus clenched his jaw. _He won't volunteer it, but if threatened...._ On the other hand, he had spent most of the last day running through Remus's behavior, and his conversation with Dumbledore, and had to agree with Harry's conclusion. _Better this slight risk than to have him think I've taken a student as my lover. He won't accuse me directly, but he could make my life very difficult._

"Very well," he forced out. "You may tell him. But be back here in an hour." _And if Remus rejects you for not being James's child, I swear I will make an error in his Wolfsbane Potion. Something that might be an accident.... I'll need to review the literature...._

They had stopped in front of Severus's rooms. Harry nodded eagerly. 

"Thank you!" He stopped only long enough to drop his shopping in his room, then bolted for Remus's office. 

 

**********

 

By the time he had reached the right floor, Harry was less enthusiastic. Telling Remus that Snape was his father meant telling him that James _wasn't_ his father. Despite what Remus had said in the Three Broomsticks, Harry wasn't sure it wouldn't change their relationship. He liked being special to Remus, as aggravating as the last few weeks had been, and he was afraid he would be giving that up. 

Remus's office door was ajar, but Harry knocked anyway. 

"Come in," Remus called absently. 

Harry entered the room. Remus's head snapped up instantly. He looked tired and worn, but also unnaturally alert. Harry thought it must be less than a week until the full moon. Hadn't Snape said something about working on the Wolfsbane Potion?

"Harry?"

Quietly, Harry closed the door behind him. He looked back at Remus, and saw the werewolf's eyes narrow. _I must smell frightened._ Harry's stomach clenched as he hesitantly approached Remus's desk. 

"I... I have something to tell you." His throat was suddenly dry, making his voice come out as little more than a whisper, and he found himself looking down at the desk, rather than at Remus. He was embarrassed to feel so terrified. _I fought for this!_ he chided himself. _I want to tell him. Why do I feel like I'd rather be facing him down as a wolf?_

A hand touched his arm. Harry had been staring so hard at the desktop that he had not noticed Remus rising from his chair. 

"Come sit down, Harry." Harry found himself led over to the shabby, comfortable armchairs that faced the hearth in Remus's office. There was no fire, now, but at least he could tuck his feet up and lean over into the protective corner of the chair back. "Harry?" Remus queried. 

"I ..." Harry realized he had no idea how to start this. _I got a letter from James? I've been put with Severus because? You know how my hair stays in place, now?_ He covered his face. "Damn it, I don't know what to say!"

"It's all right, Harry. You can tell me anything. You know that."

"No, I don't!" Harry snapped. He forced himself to sit straight and tried to collect his thoughts. "I ... Would you still like me if I ... if I wasn't James's son?"

Remus frowned. "You have asked me this before, Harry," he said patiently, "and I have answered you before. Yes. I like you." His eyes narrowed. "Why do you need to be told that?"

Harry steeled himself. "Because I'm not." Deliberately, he summoned the sarcastic expression that he knew emphasized his nascent resemblance to Severus. "Lily and James cast a Paternity Charm on me, to make me look like James. Now it's wearing off."

The momentary confusion on Remus's face was replaced by anger. "Who told you this?" he demanded. 

"James," Harry shot back. Before Remus could protest, he added quickly:

"He used a time spell to send a letter to my sixteenth birthday. They hadn't told anybody — not even Dumbledore — and he wanted me to know what was happening if he and Lily had died when I was too young to tell."

"It was a fake," Remus said angrily. "Lily would never have been unfaithful to James. There was no one else —"

"She didn't. He knew. It was arranged." 

" _What_ was arranged?" Remus snarled. 

"It was for Herem — Severus asked, and they thought he was dead —" 

"Severus would _never_ have asked for a Muggle-born girl for Herem!" Remus snapped. 

Harry stared back at him. Slowly, the werewolf got his fury under control. Harry watched his breathing steady. Remus closed his eyes. Harry thought he must be remembering Lily — perhaps after Snape had broken up with her. He appeared to be preparing to speak. 

"That was why James said yes," Harry said softly. 

"Harry ... This cannot be true," Remus said. "It can't ... it...."

"Look at me," Harry said. He stood up and walked over to Remus's chair and stood, arms crossed, a few feet away from Remus. "Look at me. You saw me in June. Do I look like I did then? Like I did three weeks ago?"

Remus licked his lips nervously. "What about the potions?" he asked suddenly. "Professor Snape could be —"

"He is giving me those potions because I was changing so fast that it _hurt._ They make it hurt less. But I had already started to change before he came up with that. Beside, he doesn't want — well, didn't want...." Harry sighed. Remus was still regarding him in stunned disbelief. "Would you like to see the letter?" Harry offered. "I made you a copy."

"I would rather see the original."

Harry shrugged. "You can't keep it, but okay." 

He had taken the letter from his room, and stopped into an empty classroom to make a copy. Now he took both out of his otherwise empty school bag and handed the original to Remus. 

Remus stared at the red parchment. "Looks like Potter stationery," he muttered. To Harry's surprise, he did not unfold the letter immediately. Instead, he raised it to his face and inhaled the scent of it. His entire body twitched. He sniffed it again, all along the edges. 

 "James and Lily both touched this," he said. His tongue glanced nervously along his lips. "Three or four weeks ago. That would be right if it was sent by a time spell. Three weeks and a few days, right?"

"Right." 

"You have touched it. I don't believe anyone else has, though it has been near Professor Snape and Madam Pince."

"Again, right. I made a copy under Madam Pince's instruction, and I gave the copy to Severus. I didn't show him the original, but it's been in his rooms, though mostly in my room, which shouldn't have much of his scent in it."

"But you have a bit of his scent on you, as you always do, now." Remus's eyes suddenly widened. He got unsteadily up from the chair. "Stay still," he ordered, as he approached Harry. "Excuse me." He leaned over Harry and sniffed the top of his head. Harry froze. Remus lifted his hair and sniffed the back of his neck. He stumbled back and to the hearth, where he leaned against the mantel. 

"Remus?"

"Your _scent's_ changed. Not a lot, just .... That's disturbing. That's not supposed to happen." Remus focused directly on Harry. "Professor Snape is your father, then?"

"Yes. You might want to read the letter."

"Oh." Remus looked down at the red parchment, which he seemed surprised to still be holding. He returned to his chair and lowered himself carefully into it. At last, he unfolded the papers and began to read. 

 

Harry watched anxiously. Remus smiled almost immediately, then chuckled. Expressions moved unrestrained across his face — disturbed, wistful, amused, sorrowful. At one point he looked a thought away from crying. 

At the end, he stared a long time at the same place on the red paper. He lifted his fingers to his lips, kissed them lightly, then pressed to the kiss to the page. When he handed it back to Harry, his eyes were bright with unshed tears. 

"You would think," he said in a strained voice, "that one would stop missing people. Sometime. Certainly in so many years, but it smells like they were just here." He rose unsteadily. "Here. Put the copy on the table, please. Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, thanks. Though I should probably head back after that." 

Remus whipped around. His first flash of annoyance changed quickly to a shrewd look. "You are trying to be a good son to him."

"Yes, in part. And I'm going to try to end my petty feuds. Those are the only things James asked of me, aren't they?"

Remus nodded, and disappeared through the door from his office to his private rooms. Harry heard running water. A minute later, Remus returned with a tray holding a teapot, milk jug, sugar cubes, and two cups. 

"Good tea, this time," he said, "but it will need to steep a bit. I can bring the water to an immediate boil, but magic cannot extract the flavor from the leaves any faster."

At that, Remus seemed to run out of words. He looked silently at Harry until Harry began to panic. 

"Tell me you still like me," he pleaded.

"Harry!" Remus shook himself and looked reached out to grasp Harry's forearm. "Harry, lamb, of course I still love you." Harry nodded and took two deep breaths, to try and steady himself. "Don't ever doubt that," Remus soothed. "Have you been afraid to tell me?"

"No — well, yes, but it didn't matter, because Severus wouldn't agree to it. Dumbledore is the only other person who knows, but you were making such a fuss...."

Remus laughed nervously. "I wish you _had_ told me. I'd given up on the explanation of simple dominance, and moved to wondering if he was blackmailing you or poisoning you, and then ... then ...."

"And then I showed up wearing my mum's engagement ring."

"Well... yes."

"Yeah, I figured out what your problem was with that, last night. That's how I got him to let me tell you. He gave it to her again, after the Herem ... thing ... to give to the child, if there was one. So it's mine. Dumbledore had had it. He did something to it — I shouldn't take it off, ever, so get used to seeing it." 

Remus thought that over. 

"So, Professor Dumbledore is trying to become your guardian so he can continue to cede supervising you to Severus?"

"Yes." Harry grinned suddenly. "And it doesn't suck."

Remus chuckled. "Well. That's a surprise." 

Harry laughed. "Yes!"

"So, what's it like?" Remus asked.

Harry looked at the mantel while he thought. 

"About like it's supposed to be," he concluded finally, "oddly. I mean, the first day I was here, he was on me about my clothes, and smoking, right? This less than twelve hours after saying I could sleep in his rooms, but I was not to expect any interaction, that he was completely incapable of acting either as a parent or as a companion... Suddenly, bamm! it's, 'you can't go outside wearing _that!_ ' and 'you're smoking a garden pesticide?'"

"Dear Merlin! You've nearly got his voice!"

"Well, I can imitate it pretty well, now." Harry shook some errant locks of hair back from his face. "He's very relaxed about some things, and bizarrely conservative about others. This aversion to jeans is very odd to me."

"A lot of the old families feel that way."

"Maybe, but I was raised by Muggles."

"That's different."

"Yeah and... Well, he admits he's deeply prejudiced, but I'm a half-blood — who was raised by Muggles! He has trouble dealing with that sometimes, I think. But on the whole, it's much better than I would have expected." Harry looked down. "It ... it feels nice that it matters to him? And he seems, happy, almost? Relatively speaking, anyway. Maybe that's stupid."

Remus shook his head. "No, he _has_ seemed happy, at times." He smiled mischievously. "The returning students are going to wonder who hexed him. It certainly had me terrified." He laughed. "And last night, he came in all cleaned up ... I haven't seen him look like that since ... since Augustus died, I suppose."

"Were they lovers?" Harry managed to restrain a "too," but Remus still looked at him oddly. 

"No. Augustus expected even his friends to be presentable." 

"Oh. Well, it will be strange when the students are here. He's going to have to go back to treating me like he always did."

"Why?"

"Because no one can find out. Once Voldemort finds out, we're both in danger. Eventually, I'll look too much like him, we think, and then he'll need to stop spying. Dumbledore is trying to decide when to tell the Order."

"Ah. Did he know you planned to tell me?"

"No, but he'd asked us to. He won't mind." 

Remus nodded and poured the tea. "May I see the other document?" 

"Severus versus the Marauders?"

"That one." 

"You might not like it."

"Harry," Remus said firmly, "I am the only remaining Marauder. I deserve to know what he has told you about us."

"All right. Just warning you. Shall I bring it tomorrow?"

"Please." 

 


	23. Choices

On Monday morning, Harry was woken by a knock on his bedroom door. He sat up in an immediate panic and grabbed for his wand. "What is it?" he called. 

"Classes start in a week; you need to start getting up earlier," Snape called. "Come have breakfast with me." 

Harry groaned. He supposed he had grown used to sleeping late. "Give me a minute," he called. 

It was actually several minutes later that he went through the kitchen to the bathroom, and a few minutes after that when he got back, feeling only semi-competent. He sat down at the table and rubbed his eyes. 

"Tea?" Snape asked.

"Yes, thanks." 

Snape poured him a cup and pushed the milk at him. "Better this week than next," he said.

"I suppose. Aunt Petunia always got me up at seven, even in the summer. When did I start sleeping late?"

"Oh, about your fourth day here. I thought you probably needed it." 

"Probably." 

Snape smirked. "You know, I think you're probably going through body changes at about the level of a pregnant woman."

Harry forced down the tea that was in his mouth. "I did not need that image." 

Severus chuckled. "Yet I didn't get you to spew the tea." He shook his head. "My timing is off." 

Harry attempted to glare at him. "You're evil, you know."

Snape choked on his tea. Harry grinned. 

"And my timing is pretty good." 

Breakfast appeared. They ate for a few minutes in silence. 

"How did things go with Remus?" Snape asked, as he cut a sausage into precise slices. 

"Okay, I suppose. It was calmer than telling him about you, but just as emotionally draining, what with going over James's history -- Remus described that as 'portrait of the author as a bullying git.' He wanted to tell me things he liked about James — that he was a devoted friend and a generous companion, and protective within his own society, which at school he defined as Gryffindor. We talked a lot about cliques and other subdivisions of the world, and how various people define which people matter to them — humans, or purebloods, or people of their class, or their house, or their politics, or their field, or whatever." Harry paused. "With or without magic," he added. "That's really the biggest one around here, isn't it?"

"It does make a genuine difference."

Harry shrugged. "They all do. The question is whether the difference in treatment is appropriate or useful or fair." He thought a moment. "One problem with Hermione is that she only sees the 'fair' part. She tries to give house elves freedom, which most of them don't want, rather than settling for more appropriate, but less fair, protections, to keep them from being mistreated." 

Snape made a sound of contemptuous amusement. Harry shrugged. 

"So there was that. Then we talked about the Auror thing. I had already considered most of what he wanted to say."

"Ah." Snape looked serious again. "I would like to discuss that with you, also, but perhaps after you have spoken to Professor McGonagall?"

"That's fine." 

"Why McGonagall?"

Harry stared incredulously at Snape. "Because she's my head of house?"

"Ah." Snape looked embarrassed. "Yes, I suppose it's her job, isn't it?"

"I brought it up in careers advice, last year."

"Becoming an Auror?"

"Well, it's that or professional Quidditch. I mean, there's nothing else I'm outstanding at, really. And Quidditch isn't much of a career."

"Not to mention you couldn't do it."

"Why not?"

Snape raised an eyebrow at him. "Think, Harry. At a Quidditch game, you need to be in the line of sight of hundreds, sometimes thousands, of wizards and witches."

"Someone would kill me, you think."

"Yes."

"What if Vo- the Dark Lord were dead?"

"It would depend on how many of his followers were still active, and who, and what power they had." 

 

They had pretty much finished with the food when they were interrupted by a thumping from the hall entrance. This time, Harry recognized it as an owl, and guessed it to be a larger one than Pig.

The arrival, a strikingly marked barn owl with a wizard post leg band, dropped a letter in front of Harry and gratefully accepted a dead mole and a drink of water from Snape. Harry glanced at the letter and recognized it was from Hermione. He set it aside and watched Snape, who was absently stroking the smooth back feathers of the bird while it tore bloody chunks from the mole. 

"Lovely bird," Snape said lazily, as it finished. "Do you need it for a reply?"

"No thanks. I'll use Hedwig, when I have one written."

"Who's it from?"

"Hermione."

"So soon? What does she have to say?"

"I don't know. I haven't read it, yet."

Snape looked at Harry with quizzical amusement. "That's rather diffident, considering that you had your arms around her on Saturday."

"She ratted on me to you, on Saturday. And that would be one thing if she knew we'd become closer, or that you were my virtual guardian, but she doesn't." 

Snape nodded at the letter. "She may have something to say for herself."

"Oh, I expect she does. And I know how well I respond to Hermione's lectures. I'll read it after I've talked to McGonagall, thanks."

"You don't think you'll work yourself into a fury thinking about it?"

"I was hoping not to think about it. Come and watch me fly?"

 

Flying was exhilarating. Harry was feeling tired and happy when he pulled on a clean shirt, picked up his Transfiguration essay, and went to meet with McGonagall. Her office was spartan, but somehow calming. He knew he was protected here, even when he was in trouble. 

"Good afternoon, Mr. Potter," she said properly, but with a subtly affectionate tone, or so Harry imagined. He put his essay down on her desk. 

"Good afternoon, Professor McGonagall. Here's my summer work." 

She glanced at it, then set it to the side. "Very well. I will look at it this week. Have a seat. Now, I believe we were to discuss whether or not you intend to become an Auror?"

Harry nodded. "I ... It seems to be what I do," he said, "fighting Dark wizards, that is, and I like solving mysteries, and figuring things out and finding people."

"You do have a reputation for being terribly nosy, Mr. Potter," she said, by way of agreement. "This career might make an asset of that trait." 

Harry turned his face down to hide a smile. "Well, that would be good. Also, I know a number of Aurors whom I admire."

"So, what has given you second thoughts? Her lips pinched together in distaste. "Not your association with Professor Snape, I hope?"

"He's never mentioned it," Harry said, with a slight shake of his head. "Well, not until this morning. No, it's more what Re- Professor Lupin wanted to point out to me."

"Which was?"

"The Minister of Magic has a great deal of influence, not just in how the law will be applied, but in the details of what the law forbids and requires. By working for the Ministry, I could find myself enforcing things I know to be wrong, pursuing people I consider blameless, and otherwise..." Harry thought — "terrorizing the innocent in the name of justice." 

"I see." McGonagall frowned. "That was not an objection I had considered. Are you, perhaps, influenced by your godfather's life as a fugitive?"

Harry nodded. "A bit. More by what happened here, last year, and by what could happen to Remus. You've seen how the werewolf edicts have been getting increasingly stringent. If he neglected to register his whereabouts this Wednesday, that would be enough to have an Auror after him. I don't want to be chasing someone down for that."

"Still, Aurors have a great deal of leeway, once appointed. You may even be able to lessen the impact of unjust laws by laxity in enforcement — not that I would condone such a thing," she added quickly. 

"But I shouldn't spend five years working to get a job that I intend to do wrong," Harry argued. 

"Yet, if you do not, who else will have that job?" McGonagall countered. "We need Aurors who understand the difference between right and wrong, Mr. Potter, not just the difference between legal and illegal." She smiled fondly at him. "And you are certainly stronger on the former than the latter." 

"I think I'm going to need to think about it more," Harry said. "Maybe talk to some people who work for the Ministry. I should probably plan my schedule, though, as if it's my goal. That should be adequate for anything else I want to do." 

"Quite. I took a look at your OWLs, Mr. Potter. You failed History of Magic, Divination, and the Astronomy practical."

"Sorry. Hagrid —"

"I understand there were extenuating circumstances for the Astronomy practical. The examiner noted that the scores should be interpreted liberally. Even so, that is eleven OWLs, which is not bad. Of those, you barely passed Herbology and the Charms practical, but you achieved Outstandings in the Defense Against the Dark Arts practical and Care of Magical Creatures, and Exceeds Expectations in all other subjects. Normally, Professor Snape will not take advanced students who achieved less than Outstanding, but in your case, your marks were so close, and so unexpectedly good, that the headmaster and I have ... _persuaded_ him to allow you to continue on a probationary basis. He has assured me he will drop you at the end of term if you cannot keep up with the class, so you must give it your best effort.

"I suggest you take Potions, Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology (though you are not strong in it), and Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"Just that?"

"The upper-level classes are longer, and the homework loads higher. You may continue with Care of Magical Creatures, if you like, but I would not recommend a second non-essential course." 

 

When Harry headed back to his room, his schedule was set. He had refused to continue with Herbology, suggesting, instead, an independent study in wizard law. McGonagall had been intrigued by the idea, and suggested Professors Flitwick, Dumbledore, and Lupin as people Harry might ask to advise him, or set projects for him. She had been somewhat taken aback when Harry suggested adding Professor Snape to the list. 

"Whatever you may think of Professor Snape's history," Harry had said, "he has a very strong understanding of what magics are restricted and when they became restricted. Also, he's the logical person to teach me about restrictions in potions components."

"Very well," she had agreed. "Write up a proposal, and return it to me by Thursday." 

 

So now, Harry thought, he had a new assignment, and it was time to go to talk to the proposed professors, and figure out what he wanted to learn. He decided to read the letter from Hermione first. 

 

> Dear Harry,
> 
> I hope that you did not get into too much trouble with Snape. If it makes you feel any better, I got into trouble with my parents for showing up smelling of smoke. My father thinks I shouldn't spend too much time with you.
> 
> Please don't be upset with me. Kiss or no, I really hated watching you smoking, and watching you be sneaky about it was worse. Ron called me a rat, and isn't speaking to me, but he doesn't really understand. You're a wonderful person, and you're important to me (and a lot of other people!), and you shouldn't hurt yourself just for ... for whatever you get out of that. Certainly you could give me that sly little look about dozens of things that would do you less damage, and would be easier to stop doing when you're bored with them. 
> 
> I'm not going to say I'm sorry, because I'm not. I'd do the same thing again. I just want you not to be angry with me, like Ron is, or at least to say you understand why I did it, even if you are angry. It's not as bad as telling Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt, is it? Please write back. 
> 
> love,
> 
> Hermione

 

Harry forgot about his research project and set about writing a series of replies that ranged from "go away and leave me alone" to "I love you too," and tore most of them into increasingly tiny pieces. Finally, he decided to sleep on it and write a reply in the morning. 

He took a notebook, quill, and ink, and went looking for Professors Flitwick, Dumbledore, Lupin, and Snape.

 

Dinner, that night, was an improvement over all previous staff dinners Harry had attended since his return. Snape and Remus behaved civilly towards each other, and Harry, Remus, and Professor Flitwick had an interesting discussing about dueling hexes. Snape even contributed some observations on aggressive versus defensive magics, and Dumbledore some vaguely related and scarcely credible anecdotes about amusing duels in his younger years. Harry enjoyed all of it. 

 


	24. Altered States

 

Snape woke Harry up again, the next day, but did not stay to have breakfast with him. 

"I have an all-morning staff meeting, today," he said, scowling. "You can imagine how delightful _those_ are. I'll be making more of the Wolfsbane Potion, this afternoon. Will you assist?"

"I'd love to," Harry said promptly, rather to his surprise. 

"Good. See you at one o'clock, in the lab." 

Snape swept out in a cloud of back robes, leaving Harry staring at the empty doorway, still musing over his reply. He was usually willing to help, certainly, but did he actually _like_ it, now?

 

After breakfast, he went and wrote a reply to Hermione's letter.

> Dear Hermione,
> 
> No, I'm not angry with you. I'm sorry I upset your parents, again. They must think I'm a horrible companion for you! Professor Snape wasn't too bad, but he has threatened dire consequences if he catches me once term starts. He'd done that before, actually. I suppose that was part of why I did it — I mean, beyond standing there staring at the cigarettes for fifteen minutes while Ron tried to figure out if a Lion bar contained any actual lion bits — it was sort of the last time I could without costing Gryffindor house points. 
> 
> It does bother me a bit that so much of our relationship seems to consist of you trying to scold me into doing what I ought to do anyway. I think you do that as much as you help me with research. I don't think I should need so much of it, and hope I wouldn't if you held off a bit. (But perhaps I'd just get into more scrapes.) 
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Love, 
> 
> Harry

He put the letter aside to send later, when Hedwig had returned from her usual morning hunt. He spent the morning finishing Blood Magic, had the fanciest lunch he could think up, and then went to Severus's lab to help with the Wolfsbane Potion. 

 

Harry arrived at Severus's lab to find a gold cauldron set out at the second bench. Slowly, he walked forward and touched the gleaming metal reverentially. "Wow," he breathed.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Severus said, as he emerged from the storeroom. 

"I wanted to buy one when I was eleven," Harry confessed, "but Hagrid wouldn't let me." 

Severus choked. "A gold -- Oh, Merlin, I would have hated you even more!"

"I suppose it's rather a waste," Harry said wistfully. "But you have one?"

"Gold is necessary for certain very delicate potions," Severus said. "The _school_ has several gold cauldrons, which I occasionally use in my sixth and seventh year classes. Up until now, everything you have brewed has been standardized for pewter. Some of those potions would change slightly if you brewed them in gold, or iron, or copper, or brass. Others would be the same if you brewed them in a turtle shell." He shrugged. "There are only certain stages of making the Wolfsbane Potion where your help will be needed, or welcome. I thought that, in between, you might like to experiment with making a simple potion in the gold cauldron. If you choose something safe, you can try a minor ingredient change, as well." 

"Brilliant!" Harry was already running through possible potions in his mind. _Simple and harmless..._ "How about a Calming Draught?"

Severus's eyes half-closed while he silently thought. "A fine choice," he said. "I see no way a single ingredient alteration could be harmful, unless the ingredient added was harmful in itself."

"I was thinking of catmint."

"Acceptable." Severus motioned him over. "Now help me prepare, here, before you get too distracted."

 

Several hours later, the material in Harry's cauldron had clarified and turned an iridescent pink. _Weird,_ Harry thought. _Wonder what made it that color?_ He pulled out the spoon to check for consistency. The liquid cohered to itself and the spoon, and slid off in a single thin stream. It looked to Harry like nothing so much as a strong soap solution. Like a soap solution, it remained stretched across the holes in the bowl of the gold spoon. Impulsively, Harry lifted the spoon up and blew on it. Twelve tiny bubbles shimmered in the air like floating jewels. Harry reached out to catch one and it broke at his touch, as did another, beside it. He giggled. 

"Look what I made!" he crowed.

Severus did not turn. Harry touched more bubbles out of the air, then blew another batch. They were beautiful! He laughed again. 

"Look, Severus -- Father, look!"

Severus turned, and frowned slightly. "Harry, I —"

He stepped forward. Harry blew a spoonful of bubbles into his face. Severus snorted, then laughed. 

"You impossible child!" he growled in mock anger. He took the spoon from Harry and blew bubbles back at him. His face scrunched up with concentration, making Harry laugh again. Severus stepped back, still grinning unnaturally, but handed the spoon back to Harry. 

"What _is_ this?"

"Calming potion, made with all gold utensils, and catmint substituted for valerian. Catmint should just make it milder, right?" Harry attempted a little meowing noise as he swatted at some lingering bubbles. Severus choked. 

"Stay _right here._ " Severus went back to the other cauldrons.

"You're running away," Harry sang at him. "You're afraid of pretty bubbles!" 

"I am securing everything so we don't have an accident. And getting my transcriber."

Severus doused the remaining cauldron fire, and put away two of the five ingredient jars that were out. He then unlocked one of his desk drawers and pulled out something that looked like a crystal ball with a quill hanging from it. He set this up in the center of the room with the quill on a long roll of parchment. It started writing immediately.

"Now," he said lazily, as he came back to where Harry was sitting. Harry was sending short, uneasy glances at the quill. 

"What's it doing?" he asked plaintively.

Severus slipped the spoon from his fingers, dipped it, and blew more bubbles at Harry. Harry thought this was immensely funny, especially combined with Severus's serious demeanor. "Taking notes," Severus answered. "Detailed, impartial notes." 

"Gimme that!" Harry said, grabbing at the spoon. He dipped it and quickly blew as many bubbles as he could straight into Severus's dour face, and Severus laughed like he was being tickled, causing Harry to do it again. After Severus had been thoroughly bubbled, Harry tried to keep aloft the bubbles that remained in the air, by blowing at them from below. Severus sat cross-legged on the table and watched. 

"To your left!" he directed. "Blow! No, softer, it's going to —" Severus blew the bubble back into Harry's range. "More light!" He pointed his wand dramatically at the nearest wall sconces, setting them to burning cobalt blue. The pink bubbles reflected the blue lights in myriad little points. 

"Half gold!" Harry exclaimed. Severus complied readily, turning two of the four blue flames to bright gold. "Yes!" 

There was a distinct sound of someone clearing his throat. 

Harry looked around wildly before noticing Remus Lupin at the door. "Remus! Come see!"

Remus entered the room slowly, looking cautiously amused. "You seem to have ... bubble soap."

"But come look," Harry coaxed, reaching out to grasp the spoon handle. "It's so pretty in the gold cauldron." 

Remus looked nervously at Severus, who sat up very straight, looking down his long nose so his hair fell to either side of his face. Severus crooked a long finger at him. 

"Closer, little Gryffindor," he crooned. "Come, now." 

Remus edged closer, keeping Harry between himself and Severus. Severus smirked knowingly. Remus peered into the cauldron. 

"Er, yes. Very pretty. What is it?"

Harry pulled out the spoon, turned it so that it shimmered in the light. "Look!" he urged. When Remus was looking, Harry blew a cloud of bubbles into his face. Remus jumped back, spluttering, but the splutter turned to a laugh. Harry cocked his head to the side. 

"What a gorgeous laugh you have!"

"Oh, do I?"

"Mm. You look so weak, this close to the moon — all pale and breakable, but your laugh is rich and deep as the forest."

"Ooo," Severus said suddenly. "That was dangerous!"

"I don't mind," Remus said carelessly. 

"No — it could be different for werewolves. It could interact with wolfsbane. It could have made you psychotic, or paranoid, or --" 

Harry dipped the spoon and handed it to Remus. Remus took it solemnly and blew bubbles at Severus. 

"Hey!" Severus swatted at the cloud, then shook his head into it and laughed. "Ridiculous boy."

Remus kissed the crook of Severus's nose, where a bubble had landed. "Silly hawk," he crooned. 

Severus swooped out his cloak like wings and caught Remus in it, then pulled him tight against the table. He bit at Remus's hair and Remus pretended to struggle. Harry intervened when Severus mouthed at Remus's ear. 

"No biting!" he chided urgently. 

Severus let go immediately, and Remus darted away. They turned and grinned at each other. Remus licked up a finger suggestively. 

"Argh!" Harry covered his eyes. "Remus, stop it!" 

"Aw, is the baby gryffy embarrassed?" Severus purred. Harry decided not to look at what he was doing, especially as a quick glance at Remus showed him writhing on the spot, and alternately panting and laughing. 

"Oh shit, they're going to kill me," Harry muttered, but he couldn't summon any real sense of urgency about it. He did get out a handful of vials and start bottling the pink stuff. He filled six of the vials, pocketing one and setting five in the rack before he looked back at Remus and Severus. They had stopped being obscene at each other. Remus had lain down on the table with his head in Severus's lap, and Severus was stroking his hair gently. 

"So much grey," Severus murmured. "Still so soft."

"Such a lovely voice," Remus murmured. "I could listen to you all day."

"Mmm." Severus's voice deepened to a seductive purr. "Shall I tell you about the restorative properties of carnelian and salamander liver?"

"Anything."

"Mmm. Well, first you slice open the wriggling salamander —" Severus trailed a fingernail down the center of Remus's chest. Remus giggled.

"Er..." Harry approached them cautiously. 

"Yes, Harry?" Severus asked absently, his voice as gentle as Remus's usually would be. Harry felt awkward. 

"I feel obliged to point out," Harry said quietly, "that you two hate each other."

"Not true," Remus complained. "I have never, ever hated him. I've never even been angry, except about Lily. It was all my fault, or Sirius's fault."

"Then say so," Severus said, a trace less gently.

"I just did. I have a hundred times, for all the good it's done me." Remus sat up. "It was my fault; I should have told you; I'm ever so sorry, dear hawk."

Severus stared at him for a full minute. The wistful look slowly faded from his face, and his eyes shifted to impenetrable darkness. 

"Well, this has been an interesting experiment," he said, still rather distantly. "Harry, we will dine in my quarters, tonight, and review the transcript. Be prepared to make intelligent contributions to the analysis." 

His voice had no bite, but no warmth, either. Harry moved closer to him, as if feeling for heat from a dying fire.

"Did you...." he asked, "Remus, did you come down here for something?"

"My potion. It can wait an hour or two, if that is better."

Severus smiled slightly, his voice gentle again. "No ... we finished it before Harry produced his invention. Let me get it for you."

He moved to the covered cauldron at the front of the room and ladled out a goblet full of the steaming contents. Harry remembered how that potion had frightened him when first he saw it, and wondered why it was worrying him now. He knew what it was, now. He'd helped make it, but it still seemed dangerous. 

Severus brought the goblet forward. Remus was just reaching out his hand when Harry figured out why he was afraid. 

"Interactions?" Harry asked. 

Severus frowned at him. "Damn." He shook his head slightly, as if to clear it. "You're right. How did you...?"

"I'm about five minutes ahead of you, I think. This stuff seems to have a very quick cycle." 

"Hm." Severus set down the goblet. "Come back in an hour, I think, Remus, or I'll send Harry to you. Harry?"

"I don't mind." 

"Harry will bring it to you in your rooms, then." Severus focused on Remus. "Leave, now. We need to clean up."

Remus nodded silently. Harry thought the shimmer in his eyes might be unfallen tears. The werewolf turned and left without a word.

 

When Harry brought Remus his potion, the werewolf was pacing. 

"I was afraid you had forgotten," he said. Quickly, he downed the draught, his face contorting from the taste. 

"No," Harry said. "I wouldn't." 

"I couldn't be sure, with the state I'd left you in. What _was_ that stuff?"

Harry ducked his head. "Er ... something I'd just invented? If I hadn't accidentally had some, I probably wouldn't have been so reckless as to start blowing it at everyone else." 

Remus, to Harry's relief, chuckled. "How _very_ like your father!" He grinned. "And I do not mean James." 

"Severus gave experimental potions to anyone who happened to be around?"

"Severus invented things. If they turned out to be of purely recreational use, he would pass them around and observe what they did." Remus winked. "It vastly increased his popularity, especially in his own house."

Harry looked at him incredulously. "My father supplied Slytherin with, er ... potions?"

Remus coughed. "In a haphazard manner, yes. Once he got bored with something, though, or, rather, was done observing its effects, he wouldn't make it again, which often annoyed people. And he didn't come up with anything that ... sweet, that I recall."

"I wasn't intending to invent anything. I'd started out with a Calming Draught. He said I could experiment, but I needed to stick to harmless ingredient changes."

"Ah." 

"Um... I hope you're not upset."

"Do I look upset?" Remus asked calmly.

"You did when you left."

"Ah." Remus grimaced. "A taste of honey..." He shook his head. "If you don't mind, Harry, I need to sleep. This close to the moon...."

"Oh! Sorry. I'll get going." 

As Harry walked down the empty corridor, he wondered if Remus really needed to sleep, or if he just wanted to avoid talking about Snape. It would be best, Harry decided, if he restrained his curiosity, for once, and just let the matter go.

 

**********

 

Severus reviewed the transcript while waiting to for Harry to return from Remus's rooms. Parts of it were a bit embarrassing, but he'd certainly endured worse. He wondered if Harry were correct about his changes. Catmint for valerian was a fairly common substitution in Calming Draughts, but it was a robust potion; not the sort of thing one would brew in gold. 

Harry returned rather later than Severus expected. 

"Did Lupin wish to talk?" Severus asked casually, as Harry sat at the table. 

"Not at all. I stopped at the library to check an almanac to see when the actual full moon is. It's Wednesday."

"I am quite aware of that," Severus said dryly. Harry took a bite of his roast lamb. Severus tapped the transcript. "You are sure of your changes?"

"Pretty much."

"Meaning, no, you are not," Severus retorted, disapprovingly. "You should see if you can duplicate it, tomorrow, then." Harry stared at him incredulously. Snape glared back at him. "To confirm your procedure. There is no point in experimenting if you have no idea what you found." 

"Okay," Harry agreed, but he didn't look as if he actually understood. Severus sighed. He picked up his wine and twisted the glass idly, looking into the red-black liquid. 

"What you produced," he said, "caused a brief surge of silly cheer, followed by roughly five minutes of unconcerned benevolence, both accompanied by a heightened awareness of some physical senses, at least sight and touch. After that, it faded off into an effect reasonably like a mild Calming Draught, but of shorter duration. The catmint might explain the short duration, but it is a fairly common substitution that certainly would not cause the silliness, benevolence, or heightened sensitivity. It seems unlikely that gold, which is extremely non-reactive, would do this, either."

Harry appeared to be thinking. "You said gold is used for delicate potions."

"Yes. And the Calming Draught is fairly robust." Severus took a sip of the wine and put it down, again. 

"Are you sure? Perhaps the standard Calming Draught actually relies on some interaction of the ingredients being hampered or altered by pewter, or perhaps the tin in the pewter, which would make a bronze cauldron do the same."

Severus permitted himself a slight smile. He had not expected the boy to understand the implications of cauldron material so well. 

"Very good, Harry. Here is what you will do. After breakfast tomorrow, I will bring out a second gold cauldron. I would like you to try duplicating today's procedure in one, making a standard formulation of Calming Draught in the other, and making your formulation of the Calming Draught a second time, but in a standard, pewter cauldron. I will watch to see if there are any errors in your procedure that might explain some portion of the change."

"Then what?" Harry asked. He looked rather amused. "We test them?"

Severus looked disdainfully back at him. "Testing is a requisite part of the procedure, Mr.  —" He stopped himself. _Potter? Snape? What do I call him when I'm sneering?_ "Whoever you are," he finished, with a trace of irony.

Harry snorted. "Whatever. I think perhaps I should keep Potter. James more or less adopted me. And there's no sense confusing the Daily Prophet as much as I've confused myself. Besides, that's what you'll be calling me in class, isn't it?"

"It is." 

"There you go." Harry rolled his eyes. "You have my permission to call me 'Mr. Potter,' when you're looking for that tone." 

Severus snorted in amusement. "Perceptive, Mr. Potter." Harry, to his satisfaction, responded with a grin. 

"However," Severus added, "you should not be so reckless about trying a new potion. Had something undesirable happened to you, I would not have known how the substance was created, which would make counteracting it more complex."

"Sorry. I wasn't thinking about it as a potion, anymore, just bubbles." Harry grimaced. "That was kind of stupid, actually, wasn't it?"

"Yes. Don't do it again." 

They ate in silence for a while. Harry became noticeably more preoccupied. Severus ate his own dinner almost without tasting it, dreading the near-inevitable questions about his response to Remus.

"I seem to _get_ potions better than I did," Harry said finally. Severus looked at him curiously. This had not been the tack he was expecting. "Do you suppose that's you being actually informative, or do you think it's genetic?" 

Severus bit back an impulse to claim he was always informative. He knew that he had made more of an effort to deride Harry than he ever had to teach him, in class.

"Both, probably," he admitted. "Many people in my family had a facility with Potions, but you have never had close instruction."

For a moment, he saw a flash of that hurt, resentful look he had come to dread, but then it was gone.

"That's good," Harry said, "but I keep worrying ... what if I'm not good at Quidditch any more?" 

"I was rather good at Quidditch myself, you know," Severus huffed. He nearly winced at the sound of the words leaving his mouth. 

"But not like James," Harry said flatly. "Right? And everyone says what a 'natural' I am. What if I'm just ... okay?"

Severus thought about this for a moment. He took a swallow of his wine, then summoned another goblet from his shelf, and poured Harry a half-sized glass. Harry tasted it and grimaced, then tried a second sip and looked puzzled. Severus reflected that it was an overly complex wine for someone who was not used to the style — or, for that matter, wine of any sort.

"I suspect you will still be good, in any case," Severus said, returning to the question of Quidditch. "You may have started from some innate talent, but you have built knowledge on that. Were you going the other way, I do not believe you would lose what understanding of Potions you already had." 

"But my body —"

"Yes." Severus nodded. "For that, there is only one way to find out." 

Harry understood. He nodded, and to Severus's surprise, looked almost relieved. "After we're done with the lab work, tomorrow...." he began tentatively. 

Severus looked at him questioningly. 

"Would you... play with me, for a bit? We can trade off Chaser and Keeper, or something, so I can see how it goes?" Harry bit his lip. "I'd like to know before the other students come back."

Severus found himself taken aback by the request. He tried to recall when he had last had anything to do with Quidditch. A pick-up game at Malfoy Manor, he thought, when Harry was still a baby.

"I suppose," he agreed, his mind still picturing Crabbe slamming a Bludger at a laughing Augustus. "Expect me to be a bit rusty, however." 

 

When Harry went into his room, at bedtime, he found the letter to Hermione sitting forgotten on his window seat. He picked it up, reread it, and with a sudden smile, added a postscript. 

> P.S: Would you do me a favor? I'd really like one of those bubble blowing things on a string — the sort you can wear around your neck? If you can find a glass one, please bring it for me.
> 
> -HP

 

If nothing else, he thought, playing with it in front of Severus would be amusing — even without replacing the Muggle bubble stuff. Grinning, Harry took the letter and headed up to the Owlery. 

 


	25. Loyalties

 

Harry was having trouble with the Quidditch drill. He thought it _might_ be that he was thinking about it too much, or that he was too conscious of Snape being there, but he couldn't seem to adequately maneuver his broom while concentrating on the Quaffle. Furthermore, he frequently missed it. Finally, he stopped, frustrated, and hovered in mid-air. The day was unseasonable cool, and a light drizzle was not improving his mood.

"Let's just stop. This isn't working."

Snape eyed him unsympathetically. "It is not working because you are too tense to allow it to work. You remind me of that Weasley friend of yours, last year. Every now and then, you have a few minutes where you are coordinated, then you think about it, and you fail."

"I've completely missed the Quaffle five times!"

Snape smirked. "Well, you are also unused to your current proportions. You've overreached, each time." He looked contemplatively at the stands. "Perhaps I shouldn't practice with you," he suggested slyly. "You might maintain this incompetence a game or two into the season."

Harry let out a long breath. "All right. Let's try it again."

They returned to throwing the Quaffle back and forth, while flying up and down the field. Harry was still having problems with it. Snape threw wide, and Harry reached. The wet Quaffle slipped from his fingers. Certain that he would not get a purchase on it, Harry instead used the loose contact to fling it towards Snape. As the ball went flying, he saw something else come off his finger and fall in a flash of green. He had a panicked thought of: _The ring! We'll never find it in that thick grass!_ Unthinking, Harry dove.

A yard above the ground, he snatched up the tiny thing. Once he had bled off enough momentum in an upward arc, he stopped to pant in relief, and heard Snape laughing. 

It was a more direct, unabashed laugh than he had previously heard from Snape, except for under the influence of the pink bubble stuff. Harry looked over. Snape was doubled over the Quaffle, nearly falling off his broom. 

"What?"

"Oh, you can't fly, you think," Snape said mockingly. "Can't catch a Quaffle. Obviously, you needed a shot of panic, and a small enough target to be worth your while." Snape tossed the Quaffle in the air and caught it. "Let's get out of the rain, boy. There is nothing wrong with your flying!"

 

Remus was not at dinner that night, as it was a full moon. Harry wondered what the house elves brought him to eat, when he was a wolf. Steak Tartare? Kitfo? Dog food? Though the staff members discussed timetables, enrollments and lesson plans for an hour, the absence of the Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor was conspicuously unmentioned.

 

On Thursday morning, Harry came out to the kitchen to find Snape sitting at the table and spreading ginger marmalade on toast as he looked at the paper. As soon as Harry had sat down, Snape tossed the front section of the Daily Prophet at him. The top headline read

**Ministry Official Savaged by Werewolf**

 

"I hope he didn't know," Snape said. Harry judged this was about as close to a supportive statement as his father was likely to make. 

"I'm sure he didn't," Harry said, scanning enough of the first paragraph to see that the attack appeared to be deliberate. "Remus wouldn't —"

"Don't assume that!" Snape snarled. "I consider myself in truce with him, now, but you are still not to trust him! Lupin does not merit trust; you will only be putting yourself at risk if you forget that." 

Harry sighed. It had been a pleasant four days, he reflected. He added sugar and milk to the tea Snape poured for him, and set to reading the article.

 

> **Ministry Official Savaged by Werewolf**
> 
> Rumored unrest among the werewolf population of Britain came to a head, last night, with a savage, and undeniably deliberate attack on Mr. Hereward Keyne, an under-secretary in the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures. Mr. Keyne, currently at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, is likely to have contracted lycanthropy as a result of the attack. 
> 
> "This was a deliberate, premeditated assault," Mr. Chester Stuart, also of the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures, informed the Daily Prophet. "Natural werewolves could not have planned or executed such an attack, which required going into a crowded area, targeting one person among many, and biting to infect, but not kill. This attack could only have been carried out with the benefit of the Wolfsbane Potion." The attack, in Mr. Stuart's opinion, supports what his department has been claiming all along: the Wolfsbane Potion gives a werewolf control, but does not override his elemental savagery. 
> 
> A letter purporting to be from the WFU (Wolven Freedom Union) claimed WFU responsibility for the attack. The WFU is headed by Randolph Liber (born Ian McAndrew), a werewolf who has recently been preaching violent resistance to the new werewolf edicts. 
> 
> "For too long we have argued our case to the willfully deaf," stated the letter. "Now we shall give our persecutors hearing so sharp they cannot but hear us. For as long as you hurt us, we will give you our pain. For as long as you confine us with laws, we will confine you with fear. For as long as you treat us as your hunters, we will treat you as our prey. _Liberete Lupis!"_
> 
> The attack and statement mark a worrying trend in non-human unrest since the rise of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge stated that werewolves who had defied the Full Moon Registration Edict would be rounded up for questioning by Ministry Aurors. 

Harry tossed the paper down the table. 

"And that," he said, "is why I worry about becoming an Auror."

"You would rather have werewolves attacking people."

"They're not right," Harry replied, "but the wrong they are doing is in return for a wrong done to them. And in any case, not everyone who failed to comply with that offensive edict should be regarded as a suspect. I don't want in on either side of this fight." 

"But Mr. Stuart is right. A werewolf can still be savage on the Wolfsbane Potion."

"And a human can be savage without being a werewolf at all. The Potion does not change one's _human_ nature — it only gives the human control of the wolf. I have seen humans kill and torture without any magical excuse. A human that is a werewolf will be no better." 

Harry looked down at the paper. _The Full Moon Registration Edict. "_ Remus wouldn't do this," he said softly. "But if I was a werewolf, I might." 

"Deliberately maul people?" Snape exclaimed. 

"Deliberately maul people from the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures." Harry glowered at the folded paper. "Ministry Official Sava" still showed. "Fudge, if I could get to him." He smiled slightly. "Definitely Fudge." 

"Harry," Snape said fiercely, " _don't_ give them sympathy. They are just the new Death Eaters. They are torturing for a cause, and in time they will forget the cause in the delight of torture, of power, of wielding fear." He tapped the headline and the moving picture of a panicked crowd outside Mr. Keyne's garden. "They have already gone beyond the point where their motives might have held pure." 

"I still sympathize." 

Snape stood. "They have put a death sentence on Lupin," he said. "Remember that."

 

At Friday night's dinner, Snape seemed unwilling to talk to Remus. He was not the only staff member who avoided it. Remus himself was withdrawn, and did not attempt to initiate conversation with anybody. He responded only briefly to Harry's queries about his plans for the upcoming term. Harry was relieved to realize this was their last such dinner; on Monday, the students would return, and he would be back to sitting at the Gryffindor table with his friends. On the other hand, he thought, with a glance at Snape, he would also be back to having breakfast at the Gryffindor table, with his friends, rather than in Snape's kitchen, with Snape sarcastically reviewing the news or the day's schedule.

 

"You think I should be kinder to Lupin," Snape said contemptuously, as they were walking back to the dungeons. 

"Yes, but ...." Harry shrugged. "I wasn't particularly thinking about it."

"What are you sulking for, then?"

"Sulking?"

"That look you had through dinner."

"Oh." Harry ducked his head nervously. "I was thinking I'd miss having breakfast with you, actually." 

Snape stopped so suddenly that Harry took a step past him before noticing. "What?" he said.

"I'll miss having breakfast with you. It followed thinking that I won't miss these dinners at all." 

Snape smiled slyly. "Dumbledore," he said, "is the only person who could possibly miss these dinners." They continued on their way. 

In Snape's quarters, Snape poured himself some wine. With his back still to Harry, he asked:

"Would you like to visit, occasionally?"

The question was casual; Harry kept his voice equally so.

"Yeah." He saw Snape's back stiffen. "I mean, 'yes, sir,'" he tried, though lightly.

Snape turned back, looking amused. "You won't get through the first week of term without getting in trouble for failing to address Lupin or me properly." 

"Ten galleons I will," Harry countered, "but you have to be fair."

"Accepted." Snape sat down in the armchair and leaned back. "Ugh. I should be reviewing supply lists and class rolls."

Harry sat at the near end of the couch. "You have everything," he said; "you hate all the students. There. All set." 

Snape let out a bark of laughter. "Not all of them," he said. "Merely most." He sighed. "But at least I no longer have Neville Longbottom."

"For which you are both grateful, I'm sure," Harry observed. Cautiously, he added, "Still, I think it's too bad you weren't nicer to him. He's so good at Herbology that he should have been a natural at potions. If you'd been gentler with him, he'd have learned more." 

"I am aware of that, Potter," Snape said sharply. "I see no use in competency that only exists when not under pressure."

"Potter?" Harry repeated incredulously.

"I'm getting ready for term."

"Oh. Well, if he had been able to learn in a supportive environment, he might have been able to do things under pressure, later. I don't think people always need to learn both at once. Some people _can't_ learn both at once."

"Longbottom was an unmitigated disaster in the Potions classroom. I would have dropped him the first year, had I been allowed to." 

Harry shrugged. It seemed useless to repeat that Neville might have done better if Snape didn't scare him. Snape obviously considered this Neville's problem, not his.

"I like Neville," he said instead. "He's a nice kid." 

Snape smiled slightly, his attention seemingly on his wine. "But even you say 'kid.' He is your age, is he not? 

"Almost to the day." Harry felt a surge of wistfulness at the thought. _If Voldemort had only attacked Neville,_ he thought, _instead of me, my life might be more normal._ He thought of Neville trying to face down Voldemort, and laughed.

"What?"

"Oh, just imagining Neville trying to survive the Dark Lord. It's probably just as well it ended up being me, even if it sucks."

Snape shuddered, then suddenly straightened. "Is this ... that prophecy of Dumbledore's?"

"Right. I either kill him -- Tom, or I die."

"I did not know it was that explicit."

"You didn't?" Harry puzzled over this for a moment. "He didn't tell me not to say." He shrugged. "I figured all of his old crowd had heard it." 

"And it could have been _Neville Longbottom?_ " 

"He met the original requirements." 

Snape grimaced. "My opinion of _you_ as the savior of the wizarding world has suddenly vastly improved." 

"Should I be insulted?" 

"If you like." Snape looked at him intently. His eyes narrowed. "You will miss having breakfast with me?" he asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah." Harry shrugged. "Oh, you never made me that saffron milk thing."

"On Sunday, perhaps. I need to be up early, tomorrow."

 


	26. The End of Summer

 

Hagrid returned on Saturday morning, and Harry spent much of the day following him about the grounds, talking and helping him. Sunday he spent entirely with Snape, though neither of them mentioned it. 

 

On Monday, Harry found himself waiting anxiously for the arrival of the train. In mid-afternoon, he went up to Gryffindor tower, which he had been avoiding since his return. The fat lady looked startled. 

"A bit early, aren't you?"

"I've been living downstairs all August," Harry told her. "Just thought I'd come up before everyone else got here."

"Very well. Password?"

"Gloria." 

The fat lady nodded. "Go on in, then." The portrait hole swung open. 

Harry had become accustomed to the dark colors of Snape's rooms and lab, and the sylvan ones of his own private room. Gryffindor's explosion of red and gold caught him as if he was seeing for the first time. The common room was clean and quiet, and the grate unlit, but even so, the room shone with riotous life about to wake. 

"Glory," Harry murmured. "Every bit." He walked through the common room and up the stairs, to the dormitory at the top of the boys' tower. The room was just as he remembered, only cleaner and lacking personal items. One trunk, his own, was the only student item visible. Harry wondered when the house elves had moved it up. It had been in his room in Snape's quarters this morning. He wondered if his room was empty, now. Suddenly, he pictured it with the furniture gone, and the door moved back to the hallway. He felt a surge of panic. Without even opening his trunk or looking out the window, he turned and left for the dungeons.

 

Snape looked up from _Alchemical Review_ as Harry entered. "I thought you were going to survey your golden tower," he said sourly. 

"Is my room still here?"

Snape looked puzzled. "I don't think it would have gone anywhere."

"Why not? It wasn't here a month ago." Harry crossed the room and went into the kitchen. By concentrating on the right section of wall, he could dimly see the door to his room. Quickly, he darted over and opened it. He stood in the doorway and looked around. Everything was in place, except for his trunk. He relaxed, and felt suddenly exhausted. He was aware of Snape walking up behind him, but that didn't seem to require him to move. 

"Harry? Is something wrong?"

"No, it's just ... my trunk was in Gryffindor, and I thought, what if he'd moved everything back? The door, even? I had to see if it was still here." 

Snape's hands gripped his shoulders. It reminded Harry of the night he had arrived, except Snape wasn't shaking him now. He froze, waiting for Snape to start yelling at him.

"You will have a room here for as long as I am here, Harry." 

Harry closed his eyes for a moment, glad he was facing away from Snape, and his dizzying relief would not show. 

"Thank you, sir — Father."

Snape's grip tightened briefly, then he let go. "It's not going to be an easy year, is it?" he asked wryly. 

"It never is," Harry returned. Content with the room, he stepped back out of it and looked aimlessly around at the kitchen. "But, yes, this one is starting in a mess. Usually it's at least November before things are this complicated."

"You're a very cynical young man, you know." 

"Practice," Harry returned, with amusement. He looked wryly at Snape. "I'd claim it's genetic, but I think we both earned it." 

"Are you dreading telling your schoolmates of our kinship?"

"Not really. There'll be some trouble, but I can get through that. No, what I'm dreading is lying to people for months." 

"Gryffindor," Snape sniffed. 

"'Fraid so."

"You _will_ lie to them, though." 

"Oh yes. Though Ron and Hermione will figure it out, probably before you would like them to."

Snape snorted contemptuously. He leaned against the counter, his attention seemingly on his fingernails. "I would rather they never found out."

"Oh." Harry's throat had turned into one big lump, making it difficult to say anything. "Sorry."

"It's hardly your fault." 

"Well, bye, then." Harry edged toward the door. "You can move it back if you like." 

"Harry!" Snape bellowed. "Get back here!" 

Since Harry was only two steps into the living room, the volume was hardly necessary. He returned quickly.

"That was _not_ what I meant." Snape glared at him a moment, then sighed. "Do you have any idea what this will be like?"

"Yes. First, it will be my yearly press scandal — well, my second one, I guess. I hate those, but I'm getting used to them. All of Slytherin and all of Gryffindor and some of the other students will be offended. Some of them will be mad at me, some at you, and some at both of us."

"What will young Mr. Weasley say?"

"Oh, he'll be fine — at first. Sympathetic. When I finally manage to convince him I don't mind, he'll be awful. We may end up not speaking to each other, again."

"What do you mean, you 'don't mind?'" 

"I mean you're okay, as a father. If I was miserable, he'd be fine with it. Like you say, that's not my fault, but liking you...." Harry shrugged. "Maybe I'm being too cynical, again. Ron does care about me, you know. He'll adjust, eventually, I'm just not sure whether it will be in a week or in several months."

Snape considered him thoughtfully. "And Miss Granger?" he asked.

"She'll get hysterical, then be over it."

"Despite the way I treat her?"

Harry glowered. "I am not responsible for your behavior." 

"Good." Snape nodded. "That is an important thing for you to remember."

Harry grinned at him. "Yes, Father," he said demurely.

 

When Snape went back to his work, Harry went back into his room and looked at himself in the mirror on the wardrobe. His hair, like his body, had been growing fast, thought not unbelievably so, and he might be able to claim that it was straighter and better behaved due to being longer. His fringe had grown down past his eyes, but would stay to the side for a little while, if combed there. He wondered if there was a spell which would help. Cutting it would keep it out of his eyes, but make the change in the hair itself more pronounced, as it was heavy and flat by the roots. 

He was back in school robes, though better dressed beneath them than he used to be. He took off his glasses and looked around. He still couldn't read a class blackboard without them, he was pretty sure, but he would probably be able to recognize most of the people in the classroom. 

"Back to school, dearie?" the mirror asked. 

"Well, this is school. The term is starting, though. I guess school is back to me. I'll be living upstairs."

"Well, remember that I'm here. And do stop worrying; you're furrowing your brow." 

"Thanks. I'll try."

 

On the way out, Harry stopped to look at the bookcases. He picked up The Limits of Control: Legal, Ethical, and Magical Considerations of Spells of Compulsion, which he had looked at before, but never read. 

"May I borrow a book, sir?" he asked cautiously.

"What for?"

"Because the train won't be here for hours." 

"Couldn't you find something more suitable in the library?" Snape asked sourly. He looked over to read the cover of the book Harry was holding. "I warn you," he said, "the text is almost as unwieldy as the title." 

"Any other warnings?" 

"Just the usual — don't try any of it, and come discuss it with me, afterwards."

"Okay." Harry decided not to ask how he was supposed to do that. Without instructions, he was free to improvise as he saw fit. 

"Here." Snape scanned the shelves, picked out another book, and handed it to Harry. "Take something you can read in public, too." 

Harry looked down. The book was titled Freed or Abandoned? The Influence of Wizard/Muggle Segregation on the Native Muggles of East Africa. 

"Since you seemed interested," Snape commented. 

Harry nodded. "Thanks." 

 

Harry fretted about whether or not to go down to the train. He saw the thestrals, in a rangy herd, coming up from the forest to the forest side of the castle. Curious, he went out to see what was drawing them, and found Hagrid with a staggered line of dead cattle, standing in front of a carriage house built against the castle wall. 

"Hello, Harry!" Hagrid boomed. "Will yeh want a ride down ter the station?" 

"That would be great," Harry said. 

"Don' suppose yeh'd want ter help me harness this lot?" Hagrid said questioningly. 

Harry smiled bravely. "Of course I will," he said.

 

Two hours later, Harry was riding in the lead carriage down to the train station. Hagrid was fetching the boats, but had said he would meet him on the platform. As promised, he arrived only a few minutes after Harry and the carriages. 

"Ready ter have your friends back, are yeh?" he asked.

"Yes," Harry admitted. Despite his reservations of the last few days, he found himself eagerly straining to see the first puffs of steam down the track. 

"Heard from Minerva that yeh'll still be takin' Care o' Magical Creatures." 

"I wouldn't miss it."

"And yeh shouldn', Harry. I've got some interestin' creatures lined up fer the advanced classes, I do."

Harry repressed a reflexive surge of foreboding. "That's great, Hagrid," he said cheerfully. "I'm sure it will be an exciting class." 

He was saved from continuing in this vein by the distant wail of a train whistle. He and Hagrid both jumped, then smiled at each other. 

"That's it, then," Hagrid said. "Got ter lead in the firs' years. See you at the feast, Harry." 

"See you," Harry echoed. Hagrid began to stride nervously up and down the platform. Harry stood by the steps and waited. 

 

He saw Ron, first. The redhead was climbing down from the train a step behind Andrew Kirke. Jack Sloper and Neville followed. Harry hurried up to them. 

"Hi Ron, everybody," he said. "Where's Hermione?"

"I don't know," Ron said. "I don't _care,_ either."

"But...." Harry remembered suddenly that Hermione had said Ron was angry with her on his behalf. Obviously Ron was still angry. He should have written to Ron, as well..... Harry dug his fingers into his hair and tugged on it. "Ron," he said, "you shouldn't —" He spotted her then, getting off the train a car further down, in the company of Ginny, Dean, and Seamus. He waved an arm up in the air. "Hermione!" 

She started toward him enthusiastically, then slowed at the sight of Ron by his side. Harry turned to Ron, who was scowling darkly. 

"You shouldn't let her treat you like that, Harry," Ron said. "She's pretty enough, but you could do better." 

"Look," Harry said, "Let's get a carriage together — the three of us — and talk it out, okay? I'm not angry with her."

"Well you should be." Ron turned away. "Ride with her, then. I don't intend to ruin my evening. I'll catch you later." 

Ron walked off with the Gryffindor beaters trailing him. Neville, who had been watching the exchange in confusion, paused a moment. 

"Good to see you, Harry," he said. "Later?"

"Sure, Neville. Later."

Harry wove his way through the students to where Hermione was standing. Ginny, Dean, and Seamus had joined her, now. Harry stopped in front of them, feeling awkward.

"Er... hi." 

Hermione smiled, dimpling her cheeks. "Hi, yourself."

Harry reached out and managed to catch her hand without fumbling too much. Hermione's hand squeezed his confirmingly. He smiled at her, then looked around at the others, being sure to make eye contact with each of them, so they'd know they were not excluded. "Let's get a carriage, then, shall we?" 

"All right, Harry," Seamus agreed amicably. They moved as a group down the steps. "Any particular identical carriage you like best?" he asked.

"Pick one of the ones I harnessed," Harry replied cheerfully. 

"You harnessed?"

"I was bored."

Seamus shuddered. "Better you than me. I wouldn't be touching a thestral for that."

 


	27. Home Again

 

Ron met up with them inside the Great Hall. He ignored Hermione completely, but sat on Harry's other side at the Gryffindor table. Harry managed not to roll his eyes. _I need to fix this quickly,_ he thought. _As soon as we're in the dormitory, I'll talk to him._ Andrew and Jack sat on the other side of Ron, with Neville across from him. They waited for the milling crowd to settle. 

Hermione leaned over and nudged Harry. "Look at Snape," she whispered. Harry looked. Snape looked perfectly normal, he thought.

"What?"

"He's not glaring at Professor Lupin. Do you think he's given up on the Defense post?"

"I think he wants someone competent in the Defense post," Harry answered. 

"He didn't think Lupin was competent last time."

"The last several years have lowered his expectations. He had to agree when I said Lupin was the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher I had ever had. He thought it was pathetic, but he agreed."

"You were chatting with Snape?" Ron interjected. 

"I lived here for a month, Ron, with no other students. I talked with all the professors, at some point." 

"All right, but _that_ greasy git?"

Harry was suddenly annoyed. "Snape's okay, Ron. Stop acting like a first year." 

Ron's mouth fell open. Before he could think of a retort, they were distracted by Lavender, several seats down, snapping:

"Colin, either go away or shut up! I am _not_ interested in how you plan to photograph the squid."

Dean, who was closer to the disturbance, leaned in front of Ginny to confide:

"I think our little shutterbug has a crush on Lavender, this year. Poor thing."

"Which?" asked Seamus. 

"Both," Dean replied. They snickered, as did Harry. Even Hermione covered a smile. "What?" Ron asked. Harry had to relay the comment to him. It got a laugh out of Ron, too. The conversation did not return to Snape. 

Harry was reluctant to enter the sixth-year Gryffindor boys dormitory, but once he did, he found it was home-like, again, now that it had five trunks and five people in it, with all of them unpacking things and setting them up on night tables or putting them in drawers. 

"Ron!" Dean called, past Seamus. "Who was that black nob you were with in Diagon Alley?"

"What?"

"Er ... that was me," Harry answered. A chorus of tight laughter greeted this statement. "Really," Harry said. "I ate something Fred and George offered me." 

At that, the laughter turned to hilarity. "Get me some!" Dean exclaimed. "I need to slip that to a few blokes!"

"Once they manage to make it with legal ingredients, sure," Harry said. "It's still very experimental, at the moment." 

Seamus rolled his eyes. "With friends like that...." he commented.

"Eh, well, Fred and George and I ...." Harry let the statement trail off with a shrug and a smile.

"They'd tried it on each other, first," Ron contributed. "You looked a bit odd, Harry, but you should have seen it with blue eyes and Weasley hair!" He grinned. "Came out of some drunken bet with Lee, I heard." 

"I'd like to see it on Katie Bell."

Seamus whooped. "That would be a sight!"

"So what was that gold sash around your head?" Dean pressed. "Bit showier than how you usually dress."

"Well, since I had such a good start on a disguise, I decided to cover my scar." Harry blushed. "Hermione picked it." 

"Fooled me!" Dean said cheerfully. "Of course I only saw you from the second-floor window of Flourish and Blotts, as you were all walking past. I was expecting a new kid, and wondering how he'd got so thick with Harry's best friends." 

"Oh!" Harry exclaimed, remembering his birthday present from Fred and George. "I have a sack of experimental Fred'n'George things to try. Anybody for a slightly random testing party on Sunday, in the common room?" 

"Are these things _labeled,_ at all?" Seamus asked.

"Oh yes. And they assured me labels were _mostly_ accurate." 

"I'm in!" Dean exclaimed. 

"Me too," Seamus added. He sighed. "Mad, I am." 

"I'm just so glad to be back to magic," Dean confided.

"Like I don't get enough of this already?" Ron asked, scowling. He shook his head. "I'll watch. Maybe I'll recognize something."

"Okay. How about you, Neville?"

Neville looked worried. "Come on," Harry wheedled. "If anything goes wrong, Ron'll take us to the Hospital Wing, right, Ron?"

"Yeah sure," Ron agreed. "If Hermione doesn't beat me there."

"Okay," Neville agreed nervously. 

"Want to check the labels, beforehand?" Harry asked, in general. "They said not to eat anything labeled in green, so I think those are the nasty ones. They recommended those for Dudley." 

"And I reckon they'd do anything short of kill —" Ron stopped suddenly. "Sorry," he said awkwardly. "I forgot." 

There was a moment of silence. 

"I don't care about the Dursleys, Ron," Harry said harshly. He realized he pretty much meant it, too, which he found, as always, slightly unnerving. "I feel bad that they were killed to get at me, but it's not my fault. And I _never_ have to go back there again, and that evens it out."

"You never told me," Ron said, "was all that stuff true?" 

Everyone else was quiet. Harry hesitated. "Yeah, but ... when you're brought up that way, it isn't such a big deal." He shrugged slightly. "I never knew people would get so upset." 

"Why shouldn't we get upset?!" 

"Because it's annoying. It's over. Shut up about it." Harry scowled at Ron. He was suddenly angry. "When I leave Hogwarts, I will get my own place, with my own bedroom, and I will eat whenever I please, and have piles of clothes that fit me. I _already_ have enough food and clothes that fit. I have loads of money, which I can actually spend, now, because I don't have guardians who will steal it from me. I'm _fine!_ " 

There was an awkward silence. 

"Do we all have timetable meetings in the morning?" Neville asked, bravely trying to change the subject. 

"I do," Seamus said, and Ron and Dean chorused agreement.

"My timetable was worked out last week," Harry said conversationally. His heart was still hammering madly. "Since I was here."

"What are you taking?"

"Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, and Potions. Professor McGonagall wanted me to take Herbology, but I'm just too bored by it. I've designed an independent study in wizard law, instead."

"You're voluntarily taking Potions?" Ron exclaimed. "I was so relieved I'd failed that OWL. I mean, except for having to listen to Mum talk about her Potions Outstanding."

"I got an Outstanding in Herbology," Neville said proudly. 

"And I got one in Defense," Harry said. "Everyone is stunned, I'm sure." 

"I barely passed that," Seamus contributed.

"Did you fail anything, Harry?" Neville asked. 

"Divination, History of Magic, and the Astronomy practical. Of course, the Astronomy practical was the one Hagrid got attacked during, so a lot of people did badly in it. I think I could have passed it, normally."

"So you passed Herbology." 

"Barely." 

"I got an Exceeds Expectations," Dean volunteered. "Mostly because of studying with you, Neville." 

Harry sat back while everyone else continued to discuss their OWLs. He wondered how different sixth-year classes would be. 

"Harry?" Ron asked, in a low voice.

"Hmm?" Harry raised his eyebrows. 

"What's wrong?"

Harry shook his head. "What? Nothing, Ron." 

"You look upset."

Harry sent him another quizzical look. "Do I? I was just thinking." 

"About what?"

"Wondering how different this year's classes would be. McGonagall says they're a lot harder."

"Well, don't worry about it, all right? I'm sure you'll do fine."

"I'm not worried."

Ron frowned again, then smiled coaxingly. "Here, Harry — got something for you."

"Oh?" Harry followed Ron over to the space between their beds, away from the discussion of OWLs and timetables. Ron grinned, took something from his pocket, and tossed it at Harry. Harry caught it reflexively before realizing it was a pack of cigarettes.

"Uh...."

"Isn't that the right thing?" Ron asked, crestfallen. "It looked the same. I got Muggle money from Dean —"

Harry handed the pack back to Ron. Ron made no move to take it. _I could just keep it,_ Harry thought. _Just in case._ "That was really thoughtful," he said sincerely. "Hermione's right though. Get rid of those for me, will you? I'll pay you back; I just don't want them."

Ron took the pack, but looked annoyed. "You're going to let her bully you." 

"Ron, does the word 'addictive' mean anything to you?" Harry snapped. 

Ron looked puzzled. "Er ... no. Muggle term, you reckon?"

"Oh." Harry thought. "It's er ... if you have something and it makes you need more of it, or want more of it, even if you don't like it, particularly, or if it would cause you problems."

"Oh." Ron's eyes widened. "We say "habit-forming" for that."

"Right. Muggles say that too, but less often. These are that, and also very unhealthy — I mean, a 'kill you' sort of unhealthy. Except not quickly, and not everybody, and it probably won't matter, because I'm not likely to live into my twenties, much less past them, but someone told me, once, that's it important to plan to live. I'm trying to do that, okay?"

"Okay." Ron frowned down at the pack of cigarettes. "Just throw them out, then?"

"Please? Before I tell you to give them to me, or to keep them for me for later, or exam week perhaps, or let's just take my broom and go sit on the roof and no one will catch me, right?" _Gimme_ _now, dammit, it couldn't hurt, one more, ten more at worst...._

Ron looked shrewdly at Harry. Harry tried to lighten his expression. He opened his mouth to say something, though he wasn't sure what.

"Right, then," Ron said decisively. "Loan me your cloak." He reached past Harry and flipped open Harry's trunk. Harry found he had a few things in it that he had not been expecting, such as the red robes, loosely folded on the very top. Embarrassed, he dug quickly down and found the invisibility cloak, which he handed to Ron.

"Don't get caught."

"Course not." Ron grinned at him, then flipped the cloak on, vanishing under it. The door opened. "And get some sleep," Ron's voice called back. "You look as though you need it." The door closed. 

Neville turned from his conversation with Dean, and gestured angrily at Harry and the door. "You two will be costing us points before classes even start!"

"Not as badly as if he stayed," Harry assured him. He felt a knowing smile trying to assert itself, and restrained it as much as he could. "Trust me on this one." 

 

Ron returned just as Harry was settling into bed. Harry watched sleepily as Ron tossed the cloak back into Harry's trunk. 

"How did it go?" Harry asked. He was rather curious as to what Ron had done that would take half an hour. Of course, Ron might not have come straight back. 

Ron bent close. "Fifty points if you get it through her head," he whispered wickedly. Harry sniggered. As Ron looked haphazardly through his own messy trunk for pajamas, Harry curled up and closed his eyes. He could still identify everyone's breathing — Neville's was a little bit wuffly, and Seamus's quicker and lighter than Dean's. Ron settled in the nearest bed and sounded — well, like Ron. Like safe, crowded places. Harry smiled, his eyes still shut. Being back in the dormitory wasn't so bad, after all. 

 


	28. Extracurricular Activities

 

The next morning, in the Common Room, Harry caught Ron and pulled him over to Hermione. 

"Okay," he said, "listen. I don't want you two to apologize to each other, or anything, because you were both doing what you thought was right. I _do_ want you to go back to being friends." Ron and Hermione eyed each other doubtfully. Harry growled slightly. "And if you're stupid about it," he said, "I'm not above resorting to emotional blackmail and telling you that I've had an insane summer, and I desperately need a familiar, supportive environment." 

He assumed a tragic pose worthy of Fred. Hermione choked on a laugh. Ron snorted. 

"Well, there," said Harry brightly. "Instead of going on about how horrible my life is, you can do something to make it better, okay? Now shake hands and say you still like each other." 

Hermione, smiling nervously, held out her hand. "I ... I still like you, Ron," she said shyly. 

Ron rolled his eyes and shifted nervously on his feet. He glanced furtively around to see who was looking at them. Not many people, Harry thought. Finally, he took Hermione's hand and shook it quickly. 

"You're all right," he said grudgingly. He grinned. "For a fussy swot."

"Well!" Hermione tossed her head. " _Someone_ won't be getting to look at my notes, this year." 

"Oh, come on, Hermione," Ron pleaded. Harry decided they were back to normal, and headed for the portrait hole and breakfast. Hermione and Ron followed, still bickering amicably. 

 

The sixth years had timetable meetings, not classes, on the first day of school. At midmorning, Neville was at his meeting, and Seamus preparing for his. Harry, Ron, and Dean sat on the Harry's bed, sorting the twins' samples into three piles: " _known_ (try)," " _unknown_ (try)" and " _don't try_." 

"Brilliant!" Ron exclaimed. "They gave you all four flavors of ventriloquism drops — two each!" 

"Ventriloquism drops?"

Ron held up a packet of large hard sweets in white, red, yellow, and purple. "All of them let you throw your voice where you like. The colored ones change your voice, as well." He grinned. "I've got an idea. Can I have one? A purple?" 

"Will you give me a demonstration?"

Ron nodded eagerly. "This weekend. And I'll tell you right before I do it, okay?"

Harry grinned. "Okay." He fished out one of the purple sweets and gave it to Ron, who wrapped it in his handkerchief. "Brilliant!"

"What about me?" Dean asked. 

"I'll tell you when to watch," Ron promised. 

They were interrupted by the arrival of Neville. "We don't have classes by house!" he exclaimed, as he burst through the door.

"What?" Dean and Harry responded, shocked. 

"Oh, right," Ron said. "You didn't know that? The classes are more exclusive, and since not all of us are taking the same things, we get mixed up more. Snape is the pickiest. Bill says he only has two sessions for sixth years, small ones, and one for seventh years. McGonagall has two sessions for sixth years and two or three for seventh years, because she doesn't have as many people drop out or fail, and she likes her seventh year classes with no more than five people. Charms is three sessions, because so many people take it, but not by house, because our timetables will all be different." 

"Oh." Harry frowned at Ron. "Want my timetable? In case you get to pick?"

Ron looked relieved. "That would be great!" 

 

Before dinner, Harry got Andrew, Jack, Ron, and Ginny together in the Common Room. This wasn't terribly difficult, as Andrew and Jack seemed pleased to have a sixth-year friend, and were, in Harry's estimation, with Ron as often as not. 

"We're the team," Harry said, "and yes, I can play again. I checked with Dumbledore. I think we'd be best off with me as Seeker and Ginny as a Chaser. We need two more Chasers, and we need to elect a Captain —"

"You," Ginny said, yawning. 

"Second," Ron said.

"How about Ron?" Andrew objected.

Harry and Ron looked at each other. 

"Well," Ron said, "considering I've been on the team one year, and Harry most of five..." 

"We didn't play, in my fourth year."

"Fine — four! I think he will have better perspective." 

Harry nodded. "For once, I'll agree. Jack?"

Jack shrugged. "I'm fine with that. Wish I'd played with you before, though." 

Harry nodded. "That's unfortunate. We'll need to get in a lot of practice to pull together as a team. That's why I want to have tryouts this Saturday. Yes, Ginny?"

"I think I should have to try out for the Chaser position," Ginny said bravely.

Harry rolled his eyes. "Want me to try out for Seeker, too?"

"You've _played_ Seeker, Harry. I haven't played Chaser."

Harry nodded. "Fine," he agreed, with only a slight touch of exasperation. "You can try out. Still, once we accept you — and I'll be shocked if we don't — you get a say in the other two Chasers, because you have team seniority. So don't think this gets you out of judging." 

"Okay." 

"All right, then. Am I officially captain?" 

A chorus of "yea"s replied. Harry ignored Ron's and Ginny's matching elaborately bored tone. "Good. That means I can book the pitch. I'll go see Madam Hooch before dinner. Keep Saturday open — this could take a while. Who wants to draw up the tryouts notice?"

"I will," Ginny volunteered. 

"Great." Harry stood up. "This meeting is dismissed. See you all at dinner." 

 

**********

 

Severus sat at the staff table and toyed with his glass. He tried not to let his attention settle at the Gryffindor table, though it returned there often. Harry, rather than being seated with Hermione and the boys of his year, was seated with Hermione, the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and Dean Thomas. Seamus Finnegan and Neville Longbottom were a bit further down. Snape imagined that Finnegan looked a bit put out, though from this distance, he could not tell conclusively. Longbottom, of course, was a boy who knew his rank, and submitted to any social change without offense. 

Severus did not turn his head when Madam Hooch told Professor McGonagall that Harry was the new Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, or that the team had booked the pitch for tryouts on Saturday. He expected Harry to be captain, of course. Who else could be? And certainly, they needed to construct a new team as soon as possible. That was probably what they were talking about now, with their heads bent together. Indeed, Granger and Thomas seemed to be having a separate conversation. 

Severus glanced over at the Slytherin table, where Draco Malfoy was sitting with Gregory Goyle and a fifth year girl who seemed to be constantly with Gregory, for the last two days. Draco was looking absently off into the distance. Severus had found Lucius's son a bit sullen in his meeting that morning, and the boy was clearly missing his former perception of power, but he did not yet bear the Dark Lord's Mark, for which Severus was grateful. He had tried to put it in the boy's head that his cleverness and wit was his best path to maintaining power in his house through the current political fluctuations. He had even suggested, concealing his anxiety, that Draco cultivate younger students from an assortment of backgrounds, ensuring that he would have allies in any eventuality. As he could not openly doubt the Dark Lord's future victory, this had required very careful phrasing. Draco had seemed to understand, but he was currently showing no inclination to act on the advice.

Severus finished his soup and had just started on a piece of salmon when his arm burned with a summoning so fierce that he twitched and nearly dropped his fork. Quickly he put down his knife and fork and excused himself with a murmur. Unbidden, his eyes went to Harry. The boy was watching him anxiously. Severus was certain he understood that flinch — possibly he had felt a twinge of it in his scar. He wished he could acknowledge Harry's concern with a nod, but even that slight gesture might be noticed and wondered about. Severus let his eyes scan once across the hall, then pivoted and swept to the door and out into the hall. Once shielded from those hundreds of eyes, he broke into a run.

As soon as Severus had collected needed items from his room, he flooed to Crabbe's manor, and, from there, apparated to the summoning site, following the burning pull of the Dark Mark. He found himself in an unfamiliar room, with exposed, smoke-darkened beams and a high roof. He had arrived late, as usual, so he had no time to observe more. Only two people were still on the ground before the Dark Lord. Severus found his place in the circle, then fell to his knees. For just a moment, he felt a flood of relief at the surrender, then, reluctantly, remembered it was not genuine. He still had decisions to make. 

The Dark Lord turned to him. Severus crawled forward, pushing his own agenda deep inside himself, and pulling over it his submission to his lord. "Master," he murmured, as he kissed the hem of the Dark Lord's robes. He let himself be dizzy with the honor of touching the least part of his master's garments. Lesser servants might never lay eyes on him, but the Dark Lord himself spoke his will to Severus.

"Severus, my clever brewer," the Dark Lord hissed, "have your duties to Dumbledore delayed you again?"

"Your summons came during dinner," Severus murmured, "but I left immediately. Only the school's Apparation block delayed me, my lord." 

"I do not doubt your enthusiasm, Severus," the Dark Lord said, in a voice replete with the doubt he denied. "I hoped, perhaps, you might explain a matter to me? From your ... advantageous? ... connections in Hogwarts." 

"Ask, my lord," Severus urged.

"It is Potter, Severus," his master hissed. "I have heard he ventured unguarded from Diagon Alley into Muggle London, but this was not detected until too late. How is the boy warded, now that his mother's kin are dead?"

Severus hoped his master would take his fear wrongly. 

"I do not know, my lord," he lied, believing the lie as deeply as he could. "I will ask Dumbledore. He will dissemble, at first, but the fool is proud, and may tell me in time, if properly encouraged." 

"I expect results," the Dark Lord said threateningly. "We should have had Potter a month ago." 

"Had I been warned --" Severus dared, but his master hissed him to silence. 

"Do not speak of it! I do not want to be told what should have been done, only that next time, it will be done correctly!"

"You are wise, master," Severus lied ecstatically, drawing the robe's hem to his lips, once more. "I will find this path for your glorious vengeance." 

 

The meeting was short. Severus was not one of those tortured, this time. When they were dismissed, he was able to turn to the windows, and apparate to a sheltered grove in the distance. Once there, he put a few trees between himself and the summoning place, then looked around.

To his dismay, he recognized the little village at the base of the hill he was on. It was Hogsmeade. He was far too close to the school, and to Harry, for his comfort. The walk home took less than an hour. Severus spent it wondering how to appease the Dark Lord without endangering Harry. 

When he got back to his rooms, he found Harry there, sitting by the fire, reading a Transfiguration text. The boy looked up, relief turning almost instantly to alarm at whatever it was he saw on Severus's face. Severus was not sure what his face showed. The sight of Harry, sitting in his living room as if he belonged there, had caused a chaotic flood of feelings: security, affection, exasperation, fear, anger. Harry was here; he was safe. Harry was here; he cared. Harry was here, like a bloody idiot; two days into school and already he was acting suspicious.

"Twenty points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter, for being out past curfew."

"I was worried about you."

"Harry, I have taking care of myself for longer than you have been alive."

"Yes, but ..." 

Severus fixed him with a contemptuous stare.

"It's more dangerous for you, with me alive." Harry tried to make the observation sound witty, but failed. Severus was relieved to conclude that he still had some powers of intimidation.

"And more still if you come here," he hissed.

"I wore the cloak. No one saw me."

"On the evening of a meeting, it is not unusual for one of two of my associates to contact me. I usually open the Floo for a few hours." 

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You will stay where you belong!" Severus screamed, lunging at Harry. He stopped himself a mere foot short of the boy's face. It had gone pale, but was quickly darkening. Severus did not want to know whether that color was from embarrassment or anger. He knew it was shame that was flooding his own with hot blood. With all the control he had in front of the Dark Lord, he still could not keep his temper when not in danger. It made no sense to him. 

"Go," he said. He wished that he had Albus's trick of putting warmth in his voice, but he had only taught himself steel and ice, and it was ice, now, with the effort of not screaming, again. 

Harry stood, not looking at him. "Yes, sir," he whispered. 

"Later, Harry," Severus said harshly, hoping Harry understood that was a promise. Harry had slipped the invisibility cloak over himself, hiding his face. There was a pause -- Severus hoped Harry was checking the hallway with the magic mirror — then the door opened, then closed. 

Severus stared at it. A score of things he might have said jammed in his throat and blocked it painfully. 

"Dear child," he whispered. 

He kept the Floo warded, after all, and made himself a cup of hot whisky. He was on his fourth before he dared attempt sleep. 

 

**********

 

Harry slunk back to Gryffindor. He had brief impulses to storm down the empty halls, instead, but told himself firmly that he did not need to be penalized twice in one night. His mood was such that he was not at all surprised to come in the portrait hole and find Hermione waiting for him, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Have fun?" she asked bitingly.

"No. I was utterly bored."

"I'm tempted to report you to Professor McGonagall!" Hermione said shrilly. She looked genuinely upset. 

Harry forced a smile. "Don't bother. I already got caught by Snape. He only took twenty points, though."

"Only!" Hermione exclaimed. "Harry, it's _only_ the second day of term!"

"Sorry ... I had something I had to do, that's all." 

She bit her lip. "Were you out smoking?" she asked quickly. 

Harry laughed, despite himself, at an unbidden image of smoking in Severus's rooms. "That would have been _much_ worse than twenty points." 

"Was that what you were out for?" Hermione asked stubbornly. 

Harry closed the distance between them. "No," he said seriously. He leaned his face close to hers, and breathed gently into her mouth. While she was still frozen in surprise, Harry brushed his lips softly against hers. They felt lovely. Panic surged through him, and he stepped back. 

"Believe me?"

Hermione nodded and stared at him. She wasn't saying anything. Harry knew that had been one of his goals, but it was still unnerving.

 "Will you stop being cross, then?" he coaxed.

"You still cost Gryffindor twenty points. You still can't follow rules for two days." Hermione sounded more frustrated than angry, now. "And I know that Ron was out last night, with your cloak."

"But you approve of that," Harry told her teasingly.

"I do?"

Harry blushed. "He'd brought me cigarettes, to replace what you'd managed to get confiscated. I told him to get rid of them, and he did." 

"Oh." 

Harry was glad he'd been able to give her details on something, especially something that should please her. It seemed to have distracted her, at least. "Er... suppose we'd both better get to bed," he suggested awkwardly. 

Hermione focused. "Yes. Definitely." She gave a little squeak of dismay. "I have Arithmancy first thing tomorrow, and I'll be tired, thanks to you, Harry Potter!" 

"Plead Prefect duties. It's such a burden, keeping those uncontrollable Gryffindors in hand. Professor Vector will understand."

"That won't make my answers any better."

"So you might be merely above average," Harry responded dryly. "Meanwhile, I'll be in Potions, being tortured."

"You will?" Hermione sounded disappointed. "I'd hoped we'd have it together."

"Apparently not." 

Hermione frowned. "He did that on purpose, I bet." She looked at Harry and scowled. "And stop giving me that sly look!"

"What sly look?"

"That ... that "oh, I'm so clever" thing, as though running around at night makes you special!" 

"Hermione, I don't think —"

"Go to bed," Hermione snapped. "I don't have time for this." 

 


	29. The New Routine

 

On Wednesday, the sixth years' classes finally started. When Harry started down to Potions, the familiarity of the descent unnerved him. He was heading into the dungeons, and that felt safe, now, but it wasn't, anymore. He wondered if his father was still angry at him. He supposed it didn't matter — Severus would treat him horribly whether he meant it or not — but Harry wanted to know whether or not he would mean it. 

He arrived early, and the only other student present was Terry Boot of Ravenclaw, who was seated near the back. Harry selected a seat near the front, but to the side. He wondered if there would be any other Gryffindors in the class. Harry was just starting to take out his supplies when a slight figure appeared near his side. 

"Well, if it isn't the Junior Auror," drawled a familiar voice. "Where's your Mudblood girlfriend, Auror?

Harry looked up. He repressed an angry response to the slur on Hermione and answered:

"She's in another session. I suppose I'll have to make it on my own, this year."

"I thought you were in _Remedial_ Potions."

Harry shrugged, partially to settle his shoulders. He wondered if he could turn this into an actual conversation, rather than a string of insults. "I was. I was left with _Muggles,_ you know, when my parents died, so I missed some basic stuff. Learning that helped, and got me through the OWL." 

"Too bad you didn't have any decent wizarding friends to help you earlier," Malfoy goaded. 

Harry repressed a grin. _Now that,_ he thought, _is an opening._ "I suppose so," he said seriously. "Ron hardly knew more than I do — well, about Potions. I learned lots about Quidditch." 

"It's a fun game, Potter," Malfoy sneered. "It's not something you can base your life on."

"I'm aware of that, Malfoy, or I wouldn't be subjecting myself to this class," Harry returned steadily. They both tensed at the sound of boot heels in the corridor floor. Harry waited until Malfoy turned away, then added: 

"Welcome back." 

Malfoy tensed, but did not pause in his return to his seat. He had his hand on his chair when Snape swept in the door. 

"Sit down, Mr. Malfoy," Snape said testily, as he glided up the center aisle. He pivoted neatly at the top of the room, sending his robes swirling out around him in an ominous black cloud, but Harry thought he looked more worn and even paler than usual. "Let me make one thing clear, without delay. This is an _advanced_ Potions class. the materials covered will be complex and rigorous. We do not have time to waste on idle chit-chat, lost quills, or frivolous questions. When I arrive, I expect all students to be in their seats, quills and parchment out and ready, and all prerequisite materials in their places. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir," came a small chorus of voices. Snape responded with a thin-lipped smile. 

"Good. Are we all ready now? Mr. Malfoy? Mr. ... Potter? Very good. Mr. Potter --" Snape fixed Harry with a predatory stare -- "what materials are required for the Wolfsbane Potion, and how are they prepared?"

 

Harry could have sworn he remembered the Wolfsbane potion fairly well. Apparently, he didn't. He got to hear his incompetence gleefully derided, while Malfoy and Bulstrode snickered, and Parvati and Justin looked angry, and Terry Boot looked nervous. That was the entire class. All work was to be done individually, Professor Snape told them, so that acceptable students did not carry through their less competent partners. He looked pointedly at Harry as he said this, implying that Harry had come to this class under false pretenses. Harry felt like he was in the middle of a nightmare. 

 

"Mr. Potter?" 

Harry froze in the middle of collecting his supplies. "Yes, sir?" he said carefully. 

"We need to meet to discuss this ... "independent project" you and Professor McGonagall devised. Come to my office, today at 3:30."

"Yes, sir."

"Despite what you and your head of House may think," Snape added caustically, "my time is not an unlimited resource. I suggest that you be prompt."

Harry was angry enough to look up. "Of course, _sir,_ " he said furiously. 

"Five points from Gryffindor for impudence. Get out of here."

 

This time, Harry did storm down the hallway, though he knew he looked a bit ridiculous. At the base of the stairs he met a small gaggle of Hufflepuff first years. One opened her mouth to speak, and Harry swept them all with such a glare that two of them collided in their hurry to get away. He started up the steps in grim cheer. He was embarrassed to hear, below him, one of the children nervously asking someone else how to get to the Potions classroom. Apparently, that had been all they wanted. 

By the time Harry reached the Defense against the Dark Arts classroom, he was not so much angry as depressed. Five points for tone of voice was a bit over the top, even for Professor Snape. If Severus was actually angry at him, wouldn't he be more creative, rather than acting like a parody of himself? On the other hand, Harry couldn't forget how cold Severus had been the night before. They had been in private, he was sure. Harry hoped he could get some sincere answers out of his father at their meeting. He wasn't sure he could endure another scripted conversation, today.

Due to his anger-spurred pace, he was the first student to arrive for his session. Remus looked up and smiled as he entered the room. 

"Good morning, Mr. Potter," he said warmly. "I'm glad to see one of my students so enthusiastic." 

Harry plopped his books down at the desk nearest Remus's desk and sighed. "Last class was Potions," he said. "I practically ran here." He looked fiercely at Remus. "Snape is a bullying git." 

Remus frowned. "Harry — You will not be disrespectful to Professor Snape."

"Fine! _Professor_ Snape is a bullying git," Harry snarled. 

"That is not acceptable either, and you know it," Remus said severely. His expression softened slightly. "Harry ... this is nothing new. You knew it would be like this." 

"But he goes out his way to go after me!" Harry complained. "He was asking me about the Wolfsbane Potion, which wasn't even in the reading, then making fun of me because I didn't _completely_ know how to make it." 

Remus twitched. Harry saw his throat move in an involuntary swallow. 

"Perhaps he thinks you should know," Remus said, almost absently. 

Harry had to think about that. Perhaps Severus was worried that something would happen to him. Perhaps he'd shown Harry the potion so someone else at Hogwarts would know how to make it. He considered that for a moment, then shook his head. "If that's it, he should have told me." 

Justin Finch-Fletchley and Ernie Macmillan arrived, preventing further conversation. Hannah Abbot came in a minute later with Terry Boot. Ron, to Harry's relief, entered next, with Neville, but after an odd look in Harry's direction, Ron chose a seat with Neville, behind and to the side of Harry's.

The next arrival did not make Harry feel any better. It was Draco Malfoy, whom Harry would have bet a thousand galleons would not take Defense Against the Dark Arts now that it was optional. _Probably an easy pass for him,_ he thought darkly, _with as much as he knows of Dark Arts, or perhaps he want to keep an eye on who does well in it._ Malfoy sat directly behind Harry. Finally, Hermione and Padma came in. They sat together, leaving Harry conspicuously by himself, and right in front of the instructor. He could not see anyone else's reactions to this, as they were all behind him. He got a brief sympathetic look from Remus, then the professor cleared his throat and started class.

"I am very pleased to see Defense Against the Dark Arts so well attended by the upper-level students," he said sincerely. "I believe we are all here — except for Susan Bones?"

Hannah raised her hand. 

"Yes, Miss Abbot?"

"Her mother wouldn't let her," Hannah said. Her voice was almost too quiet to hear. "She got the owl this morning." 

"Ah." Harry could see the pain that crossed Remus's face, but he doubted the brief twitch was obvious to the people who did not know him well. It was quite clear to all of them that Susan Bones' mother would not have objected to the subject, and her objection must therefore have been to the instructor. "Well, that is unfortunate," Remus said quietly. "She has, however, kept up on her own before."

With that, Remus smiled at all of them again. "A number of you," he said, "I believe most, studied counter-hexes and dueling on your own, last year, in an unauthorized club."

Harry was at last glad he was facing away from the others, for he could not repress a smirk. All of the fifth-year members of Dumbledore's Army had received at least an Exceeds Expectations on their Defense practicals. Behind him, he heard Malfoy snort contemptuously. Remus gave both of them an unreadable look. 

"While I cannot condone the breaking of school rules," Remus said placidly, "I admire your initiative. It is always encouraging to see students who want to study. However, the .... strong viewpoints ... of your last teacher —" several people snickered openly at this, including, to Harry's surprise, Malfoy "-- leave me with only the OWL as an evaluation of your skills. Therefore, I would like to spend our first class in practice duels, so that I can evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. Here are the limits of these duels ...." 

They spent the rest of the class dueling, which suited Harry down to the ground. To his relief (and, he admitted, quite possibly due to Professor Lupin's good sense), he was never paired with Malfoy. Harry acquitted himself well, and ended the lesson tired and satisfied. 

 

Ron joined him on the way to lunch, and all Harry's ill-feeling came flooding back immediately. 

"I'm so glad I gave you my schedule," Harry said coldly. "It was pleasant to have the company."

"Well, I thought you'd like Hermione sitting next to you," Ron protested. 

"What, you expected me to leave Padma by herself?" Hermione asked, coming into step at Harry's other side.

"So, it's not that you're still mad at me?" Harry asked pointedly.

Hermione smiled. "I expect you suffered enough in Potions," she said primly. 

Harry stormed off. He sat with the Creevey brothers during lunch. It was a peculiar form of self-torture, he knew, but it let Hermione and Ron know just where they ranked with him, at the moment, and that made it worth it. By the end of lunch, he'd decided he rather liked Colin being obsessed with Lavender. For one thing, it gave them something trivial to talk about. For another, it made Colin far less obsessed with him. 

 

In the afternoon, Harry had his short sessions in Charms and Transfiguration. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, these would be long morning classes, like his Monday, Wednesday, and Friday Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. On all afternoons other than Wednesday, the afternoon would be a single long class period. Two of those would be Care of Magical Creatures. The other two, Harry would have free for work on his independent study project. He already suspected that when he actually did that work would vary considerably. 

 

After Transfiguration, Harry went to see Snape. He had worked himself back into a temper, by now, and was holding himself barely in check when he entered the office. 

Snape was sitting behind his desk. He glanced up briefly when Harry entered. 

"Close the door, Potter." 

Harry closed the door and stood just inside it. He found himself staring down Snape's wand. 

"Well?" Snape said irritably. "Stand aside."

Harry, with a flood of relief that he was embarrassed to realize indicated that he had been afraid Snape would hurt him, stepped aside. 

" _Secretus_ _,_ " Snape said firmly. There was a brief wash of shadow over the door. "Sit down, Harry."

Harry approached the desk, but did not sit. He glared at Snape, and Snape, for a full minute, looked curiously back at him, as if Harry's anger was some interesting peculiarity. Finally he sighed. 

"Sit," he said again. He took a noticeable breath, then said, "I'm sorry about last night."

"Were we alone?" Harry demanded.

'Yes."

"Then why were you like that?"

"First," Snape said coldly, "I dislike being endangered. I dislike you endangering yourself." He scowled. "However, I could have said that more clearly. I am afraid that when I return from a ... meeting, my emotional range is somewhat limited." 

"Limited," Harry repeated. 

"After an evening on my knees before the Dark Lord, I will attack anything so unlucky as to draw my attention. If a possible response is anger, that is what you will get." 

Harry could almost understand this. Voldemort didn't leave him feeling particularly in control, either. He relaxed. "Fortunately, that passes for your normal behavior," he returned. 

Snape's eyebrows rose. He coughed on a caught laugh. "Fortunately. Or someone might map the evenings that I stride through the halls, handing out detentions like the headmaster hands out sherbet lemons." 

Harry did laugh. "You should have seen me leaving Potions. The first year Hufflepuffs will never dare come near me again." 

"What did you do to them?" Snape asked curiously. 

"I _looked_ at them." At Snape's incredulous stare, Harry ducked his head. "Okay — glared, maybe."

"Do you think they were actually frightened?"

"They scattered so fast that two of them ran into each other, so hard that one fell down."

Snape burst out laughing. "Did you pick them up and dust them off?"

"No, I barreled on upstairs so I could rant at Remus about you, before class started."

Snape fixed him with a hard look. "Professor Lupin, Harry."

"We're in a closed office with a warded door!" 

"Nonetheless, he is now your teacher. Refer to him like that again, and I will dock Gryffindor points and claim my ten Galleons."

"Oh, all right," Harry said. He felt cross again. "Why did you ask me about the Wolfsbane potion?" he asked angrily.

"Think, Harry. Why? There was a reason."

"To make fun of me, because you know I couldn't answer half that."

Snape sighed. "You might as well say I did it so you could show off."

"What!"

"Yes, I knew you couldn't answer half that. I doubt any of your classmates would have been able to answer any of it." Snape smiled with cold satisfaction. "I got to deride you for your stupidity and ignorance, while the rest of the class watched paralyzed with the knowledge they would have done far worse."

"Malfoy wasn't paralyzed."

"Malfoy knows when to put on an act. I assure you, Harry, he is now frantically searching through the supplemental readings, trying to find out how you knew that the Wolfsbane should be harvested at the dark of the moon for greatest potency."

"And when it's not there?"

"Malfoy is a perceptive boy. It will doubtless occur to him that Professor Lupin was notably fond of you, and that this affection is, perhaps, returned. He will decide that you studied it on your own."

"And you asked me about it because?"

"Either to demonstrate that I expected independent initiative and a following of current hot topics in the field, or to point up the dangerous side of your egalitarian tendencies." Snape smiled slyly. "Draco is clever. Both will occur to him. I have not yet decided which answer to give him when he asks." 

"Did you know he's taking Defense Against the Dark Arts?"

"Yes. He asked me to arrange for him to be in the same session as you. It wasn't difficult. I had merely to put you in the same Potions session."

"So he is keeping an eye on me," Harry said boldly. 

Snape nodded. "Yes. He is."

"Oh." Harry wasn't sure how he felt about that. He supposed it might make a truce with Malfoy easier, but it would also make it less real. 

He realized they had both been silent for a while when Snape shifted in his seat. 

"Harry..." he began awkwardly. Harry looked at him, and found Snape's face was tinged with red. He didn't appear to be angry. Harry wondered if he might actually be embarrassed.

"I ... I am ... fond of you," Snape said, as if he were admitting to some peculiarity of taste. "I will still be horrible to you in class. Please try to ...."

"Consider it a game?" Harry suggested.

"Or an exercise." Snape's mouth quirked slightly before pulling down into a disapproving frown. "Whatever gets you through my class without terrorizing the first years." He smirked. "And here I thought they were just afraid of me!"

Harry ducked his head. It was funny, but he knew he had behaved badly. 

"Sir?" He waited until he had Snape's attention before continuing. "I ... I think I'll need some private time with you to not be a mess by the end of next week, never mind next month. I've got the independent study, and I've got the invisibility cloak, and you implied I could visit. Could we work out something that won't make you yell at me?"

Snape frowned. "I'll need to think about it — yes, we can," he added hurriedly, "but how...." He looked sharply at Harry. "It will not be after curfew." 

Harry nodded. "That would probably improve things with Hermione, too. She was waiting to lay into me when I got back, last night." 

Snape snorted. "Another matter about last night...."

"Yeah?"

"The Dark Lord has heard that you left Diagon Alley for Muggle London, undetected. He wants me to find out how you are warded." 

Harry froze. Snape's face took on that mocking look that Harry dreaded more than his scowls. "Your capricious little excursion has put both of us in greater danger." 

"I ... Sorry! I thought if they didn't catch me, that would be it."

"No." A flash of anger darkened Snape's face, but passed. "If they had caught you," he noted, "you would not be the only one dead. In fact, with the wards, it is not unlikely that you could have survived an attack that killed your friends." 

Harry flushed. "I get the point," he said angrily.

"Do you?" Snape sneered. "I'll believe that when I see some change in your behavior." 

Harry looked down at the floor. He couldn't think of anything to say.

"Harry?" Snape questioned.

"Now I'm as miserable as when I came in."

"But for much better reasons."

Harry decided that wasn't funny and shrugged. He knew quite well he was too reckless; it just never seemed applicable to what he was doing at the time. He thought of the discussion he'd had with Remus about faults. 

"It's because I'm brave," he said suddenly. He was a bit surprised to realize he had spoken out loud, and looked up in alarm. 

"What is?" Snape asked.

"I'm brave, therefore I'm reckless."

Snape's eyes narrowed. "Do you know the difference?" he asked. Harry nodded automatically. "Then what is it?" Snape demanded. 

Harry, though he knew the difference, had to think a moment about how to explain it. Finally, he looked back at his father again. 

"Brave is when the risk you are taking is worth it." 

"A good explanation." Snape seemed mollified by Harry's consideration of the matter. "When you left Diagon Alley, was that brave, or reckless?"

Harry thought. After a moment he answered, very quietly, "neither, sir." He bit his lip. "It was just ... thoughtless. I didn't understand what the risks were."

Snape nodded. His black eyes focused intensely on Harry. "Yes," he said quietly. "Exactly." 

 


	30. Further Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New POV in this chapter! You'll see occasional scenes via her.

 

Hermione made a point of sitting next to Harry in Transfiguration, but she wasn't able to speak to him. She had come from Ancient Runes, which was up in one of the towers, and made it to her seat just as class was about to start. She expected Harry to wait for her at the end of class, but he vanished while she was asking Professor McGonagall a question. Hermione returned quickly to Gryffindor tower. She hoped she would overtake him on the way, but she did not. Harry was not in the common room. When Hermione saw Dean and Seamus talking to Parvati Patil, she walked over to them. 

"Dean, Seamus?" She tried to keep her voice businesslike, but she was afraid it sounded a bit strained. "Have you seen Harry?"

Both boys shook their heads. 

"He has a meeting with Professor Snape," Parvati volunteered. She frowned. "Snape was so awful to him! And Harry was answering questions I'd have no clue about — it was really scary."

Hermione thought that sounded normal — except for the part about Harry answering questions. She excused herself and went upstairs, leaving the others exchanging horror stories about the day's classes. She was starting to feel annoyed at Harry again. "How dare he not be around for me to make up with," she muttered sarcastically to herself, but recognizing the absurdity of her irritation did not defuse it. 

She had hardly been in her room five minutes before she heard a soft knock at the door. She hoped it wasn't someone who needed a prefect — she didn't feel capable of solving her own problems, right now, much less someone else's. For a moment, she was tempted to pretend to be asleep. The knock repeated.

"Who is it?" 

"Me," Ginny's voice called back. "May I come in?"

"Of course." 

Ginny opened the door, stepped in, and shut it behind her. Hermione wanted to groan. This was the behavior of someone who needed a prefect. Instead, she schooled her face into a neutral smile. "Hello, Ginny. What can I do for you?"

"Nothing," Ginny said, shrugging. She crossed the room and sat down on Hermione's bed. "You looked upset, downstairs, and Dean said you'd asked about Harry. The two of you haven't fought already, have you?"

"Does it matter?" Hermione challenged.

"Yes," Ginny answered promptly. "You were absolutely _darling_ with him two days ago, and you looked happy, except when my brother was being a git. I _like_ you being happy."

Hermione bit her lip. "Harry stayed out till past midnight, last night."

"Oh!" Ginny's eyes widened. "And came back uninjured, I assume?"

"Unless Professor Snape had taken a chunk out of him with the house points."

"You think he's got another girl?"

Hermione threw her hands up. She'd actually managed not to think of that explanation. 

"Who knows? It's Harry! He's more likely to be out tracking down something dangerous, except he'd usually tell me about that."

"He wouldn't tell you where he was?"

"No — just that there was something he 'had to do.'" Feeling obligated to be honest, Hermione added: "I only asked him once. He may have told me if I'd pushed, but we started fighting about other things."

"Like what?"

"Like how he couldn't go two days without costing Gryffindor points!" Hermione snapped. 

"Your boyfriend was out till midnight, and you're worried about house points?"

"Harry is not my boyfriend!"

Ginny blinked. She raised her eyebrows significantly. "Well, he certainly _looked_ like he was, on Monday. I've never seen you walk along holding hands, before. And Ron says you kissed at Diagon Alley. In public and everything!"

Hermione snorted. "Yes, and that's another thing. This _kissing_ business. He did it _again,_ last night!"

"Hermione, he _is_ your boyfriend," Ginny protested. "Or at least, he wants to be. Considering what boys are like, he probably just assumes he is, if you've kissed him twice." 

"Well, last night, I didn't really kiss him back — I didn't have time, honestly." Hermione scowled. "One minute he's arguing with me, the next his lips are brushing mine _very_ lightly and deliberately, just ... oh! ...and before I can move, he's two steps away saying we better get to sleep." 

Ginny grinned. "Is he _good?"_

"Ginny! He's ... Well, yes, he's good." Hermione scowled. "Unfortunately, he seems to know it."

"So?"

"He only kisses me when I'm saying something he doesn't want to hear. Last night, he was smirking, afterwards, as if he thought he had got away with something. I felt like I had to keep fighting with him, just to show him that I wasn't going to forget the argument just because he ... he...."

"Just because he's hot, and wonderful, and terribly important to you?" Ginny suggested, a bit sharply. 

"Yes," Hermione said defiantly. "He's not manipulating me that way." She bit her lip. "If I let him get away with that, he'll be unbearable. Besides, I don't even know if he wants me, or if he even cares." She snorted contemptuously. "This is just his new technique for Hermione-management." 

Ginny shook her head. "Harry's not like that."

"Oh really? Weren't you the one talking about how he'd taken over the Quidditch team without a blink?"

"But he was the only one qualified."

"Still, wouldn't you and Ron have had to talk him into it, last year? He just acts as if he's in charge, now. I was watching him at dinner, yesterday, when the rest of you got to discussing the Ravenclaw team. He was looking around with this calculating ... sneer, almost, like he was evaluating the worth of each of you, and all the other players...."

"That's what the captain is supposed to do, Hermione!"

"But that look!" Hermione clenched her hands into fists, welcoming the distracting pain of uneven nails biting into her palms. "I don't want him to look at me like that ... 'Hm... could help me with my homework, and she kisses okay. Not too pretty, but she dresses up well. Ron approves, so that's all right...'" She laughed.

"Hermione!" Ginny chided. "I'm sure it's not like that! Look, I'll see Harry a lot, if I stay on the Quidditch team. Want me to sound him out about you? When I get a chance to talk to him without everyone else around?"

"Don't let him know it bothers me."

"Of course not! I'll just ask him about the Diagon Alley kiss, or whether or not you're his girl." Ginny grinned. "I know how to talk to boys."

 

**********

 

When Harry got back to Gryffindor, he was still feeling rather subdued. He settled down in the common room to do homework. _Perhaps Hermione will come by and see I'm behaving,_ he thought. He didn't know if that would fix anything, but he expected it would help. 

He decided to begin with the Wolfsbane Potion. If Severus was right about him knowing far more than the other students, he should be able to write an exemplary essay on it. He was almost certainly the only member of class who had ever seen it brewed. 

Instead of just starting straight in on the text, as usual, Harry found himself writing out notes on how he wanted to structure the essay — a discussion of uses, then history, then the ingredients and their preparation, then the brewing process. He frowned at that, and added a note to conclude with a short analysis of the current debate on the sufficiency of Wolfsbane potion as a control for werewolves. He looked at the parchment for a moment, feeling rather proud of having thought of the word "sufficiency" and hoping Hermione would stop by to talk to him just then. 

Instead, Colin did.

"Harry!" he exclaimed. He sat down, and some of his enthusiasm changed to edgy anxiety. "Can I ask you a favor? Something important? I don't think it will be any trouble, but I —"

"What?" Harry asked, breaking the flow. 

"Well, could I photograph the Gryffindor tryouts? I'd like to get some practice in sports photography. Lavender was asking me what good it was to be good at taking pictures, and I was trying to explain what photographers do, and I thought that if I worked on sports photography, I might be able to sell match photos to Quidditch Weekly, or to —"

"Colin," Harry interrupted, pushing gently down at the air between them in a quelling gesture, "you may photograph the tryouts, _for practice._ You may not sell pictures from the tryouts, and your photography should not be distracting to the players. Okay?"

"But sometimes a good shot —"

"You'd have the same restrictions in professional photography," Harry said sharply. "Did you hear, last year, about how some photographer got permanently banned from the World Cup for interference and endangering the players?"

"Yeah. That was really —"

"So you need to learn to do it properly, right?"

"Oh." Colin actually stopped talking for a second, while he considered the merits of this. "Right!"

"So if I feel you are interfering, or endangering the players, I will ban you from the tryouts and the next month of practices. Behave, and you can practice on us all you like."

"Really? Thanks, Harry! You're the best!"

"Photos of practices are also not for sale," Harry warned.

This damped Colin's ecstasy to mere delight. 

"That's still great! Thanks, Harry!" Colin rushed off. Harry barely had time to pick up his quill before people settled on either side of him — Ron to his left, on the couch arm, and Andrew to his right, on the couch. Harry glanced around for Jack and saw him hovering uneasily a bit to the side. 

"Did I just hear you tell that prat he can photograph all our practices?" Ron hissed. 

"Absolutely," Harry replied, dipping his quill in ink.

"You want some bloody mayfly buzzing around setting off flashing lights while we're trying to play Quidditch?"

"Not really, no." Harry looked up at Ron and smiled conspiratorially. "But when he starts doing it at games, _Gryffindor_ will be used to it."

Ron stared at Harry in astonishment. Jack chuckled. "Good enough for me, Captain," Jack said cheerily. He tugged at Andrew's arm. "Let's go, then." 

Andrew resisted. "What if he doesn't get permission to photograph games?" he asked. 

"I expect he will," Harry answered. "Deputy Headmistress McGonagall and Madam Hooch won't object, because they support any promotion of Hogwarts Quidditch. I won't object, because it gives us an advantage now, and Malfoy won't, because he's vain. At least one other team is bound to have someone who hopes to go professional, and has some sad idea this will help. I think Dumbledore will find that sufficient." He looked at Andrew, a bit coldly. "May I work on my Potions essay, now? I won't have any time for this on Saturday, recall."

"Er ... of course," Ron said quickly. He hesitated. "See you at dinner, Harry?"

"Sounds good," Harry answered absently. _Powdered moonstone — oh, I forgot about soaking it and retaining the water! Wait, isn't that like part of the antidote for Vampire's Death poison? The one that makes sunlight set you on fire? There's a name for the effect...._

"Harry? Are you even listening?"

Harry growled. "Dinner, tonight. Yes!" he snapped. "Now unless you remember the name of the effect given by a lunar charge on the solution holding a gemstone component, go away until dinnertime!" 

"Er... right, mate," Ron muttered. He sounded a bit put out, but Harry didn't have the concentration free to worry about it. He continued to try puzzle over what he remembered. While he was thinking, someone leaned over his head, dangling straight, seal-brown hair between his eyes and the text. 

"It's the Crystal Radiosis Effect," a voice confided. "Don't ask me how to spell it." 

Harry looked up. A dark-haired girl with hazel eyes was smiling cheerily upside-down at him. He thought she was in Ginny's year, but did not know her name. 

"Thanks," he said, twisting around to look at her right-side up. "And you are ...?"

"Zoë." 

"Pleased to meet you Zoë. Do you like Potions?"

Zoë wrinkled her nose in a way that Harry thought rather cute. "Except for the professor," she said. "Weren't you busy?"

"Yes, but you've just saved me a trip to the library and twenty minutes of research. That should give me a few minutes to chat." 

Zoë sat down on the couch where Andrew had been and talked cheerfully about potions that made use of the Crystal Radiosis Effect. She was impressed that Harry knew so much about the Wolfsbane Potion. Harry was impressed that she could reel off a list of potions that used the liquid in which a gemstone had been moon-charged or sun-charged. He might have forgotten to go back to his essay, had he not seen Hermione walking towards the portrait hole. 

"Oh — I better get back to work on this essay," he said, perhaps a little too loudly. "Thanks for your help, Zoë." 

 

Harry had dinner with Ron, who had, to Harry's relief, actually showed up without his fifth-year shadows. Hermione seemed to be avoiding him. Harry decided to let her — she'd either get over it, or she'd work herself into a frenzy and come tell him what he had done wrong. If she hadn't talked to him by the end of tryouts, he decided, he would go hunt her down. 

He spent a pleasant evening with Ron, during which they managed some progress on their Charms homework. The next morning, Hermione was back to eating breakfast with them, though she seemed a bit standoffish. Harry continued not to push her. She ate lunch with them, but not dinner, and she was not in the common room that night. Harry wondered if she was still angry about the points, or if she was upset about him trying to kiss her. 

In Friday Potions, Harry worked on not taking Snape's insults personally. It helped to have some insight into how Snape used attacks on him. Surreptitious observation of his classmates showed that, indeed, as many quailed at the things he got right as at the ones he got wrong. Malfoy made no further move to talk to him, or to interact with him in any way, good or bad, in either Potions or Defense Against the Dark Arts. He sat behind Harry in both classes, making it hard for Harry to watch him.

The last class of the day was their first Care of Magical Creatures class of the year. Hermione, though she had not been at lunch, walked down with Harry and Ron. Harry thought she was being a little more friendly, now. 

Hagrid told them that due to the "more challengin'" nature of the creatures covered in advanced classes (Harry thought some people went a bit pale at this), he planned to have a lecture class and a short essay assignment before the introduction of each creature, to check that everyone knew what they had to do to 'not lose any fingers or toes or bigger bits' to the introduced creature. Next week, for example, they would be meeting wyverns, and Hagrid wanted everybody to write fifteen inches on the wyvern's natural defenses, which he then listed in detail. 

"The wyvern is a lesser cousin of the dragon, so it has strong jaws and sharp teeth. He can' snap his tail around quite as well, as he needs it more for balance, havin' only two feet, but he can still use it. His wings can wallop a small man flat, and he has talons like an eagle's, but longer. Griffin's talons, if you will. But those are just physical defenses. Anybody know what else the wyvern can do?"

Hermione raised her hand, and Hagrid beamed at her. "Go ahead, Hermione!"

"The wyvern can create a sense of fear to repel potential attackers. If the wyvern panics, this can overflow into augmenting fears or insecurities of people nearby, sometimes fostering violent conflict."

"Good girl, Hermione! Ten points to Gryffindor. So, what do yeh need to do?"

Harry raised his hand.

"Yes, Harry?"

"We should all come to class as calm as possible." 

"Right, again! Five more points for Griffindor! For that, I'll be starting class fifteen minutes late, so anyone who wants to listen to some music, or take a walk by the lake, or whatever yeh do, has a little extra time to do it. I'll have a few vials of Calming Draught on hand, in case anyone needs it, and brushing up on Cheerin' Charms wouldn' be amiss." 

The lecture continued, guaranteeing that anyone who was listening could write the essay without ever glancing at a book. Hermione sent Harry a few smiles that he found encouraging. At the end of class, he was gearing himself up to ask what he had done to upset her, but Hagrid interposed. 

"Harry? Professor Dumbledore sent word that he wants to see yeh as soon as class gets out. Yeh should head up there, now."

"Thanks, Hagrid."

 

Hermione and Ron walked beside him up the long green. 

"Are you in trouble? Hermione asked nervously. 

Harry shrugged. "Don't think so."

"Maybe it's something for the Order!" Ron exclaimed at a whisper. Harry glared at him.

"Don't say that," he returned, in an equally urgent whisper. "You don't call 'the old crowd,' that, here.'" He gestured at the space around them, and the students a few yards in front of them. "Not secure."

"Better yet, don't mention it at all," Hermione opined. Harry nodded, and Ron looked a bit put out.

"It's probably something boring, like my project," Harry said more loudly, laughing. "I'll see you two later, okay?"

 


	31. My Life as a Quaffle

 

Harry went up to the headmaster's office, and got admitted on his third try. He wondered if it was coincidental that this was "Lion Bar" or if Dumbledore just knew way too much about his life. At the top of the stairs, the inner door was open, waiting for him. Dumbledore waved it shut as he entered. Snape was already there. Harry wondered what that signified. 

"Thank you for being so prompt, Harry. How was Hagrid's class?"

"Oddly theoretical, but that's probably a good idea."

Dumbledore smiled. "I insisted he put some safeguard in place, and he devised this plan. A good one, I believe. Are you excited about the Wyverns?"

"Sort of. I think my Occlumency practice will help. I'm a bit worried about some of the Slytherins. Blaise is quiet, but in that sort of 'held in check' way. Ron might be a problem, too, if he has a bad morning." 

"I plan to offer a Calming Draught to any of my house who want it," Snape said. He looked disapproving. "You, too, Harry. Even professionals use them for Wyverns."

"I'm set," Harry said cheerfully. He shifted slightly, feeling the weight of the bubble-soap necklace that Hermione had brought him against his chest. He hadn't replaced the Muggle bubble soap, yet, but he planned to before Monday. Unconcerned benevolence might be just the thing, provided he could remember not to pet the pretty wyverns.

Snape looked suspiciously at him. Dumbledore brought his hands together. 

"Well, then. Shall we get down to business?" The office door swung closed and flared. The headmaster sat behind his desk. "Sherbet lemon, Harry? No? Ah well. Today's agenda is a single item — the Ministry has contested my request to be Harry's guardian." 

For a moment, Harry couldn't think. Contested? Contested _Dumbledore?_ But then he recalled that Fudge was afraid of Dumbledore. Certainly, Fudge would rather have Harry under direct control. 

"I was afraid of this," Snape said, echoing Harry's feelings. "Minister Fudge sees this as his opportunity to control Harry Potter, a most important symbol."

"Yes. I will, of course, defend my position at the hearing. It is scheduled for Friday, October 4, so, again, it buys us time." 

"The Minister will fight, Headmaster." Snape said calmly. "He can reasonably say you have no right."

"Yes. If he is successful, we will need to produce you earlier, at the appeal. He cannot contest a blood relative, despite your history, unless Harry himself objects." 

"Can we afford to lose my information?" Severus challenged.

"Better than we can afford to lose Harry." Dumbledore sighed. "You have been worrying, recently, Severus, as to the accuracy of what you are told. With the suspicion you have been under, I have wondered if continuing was worth the risk. Your value to us is not entirely in the field, you realize."

"That is certainly not what the Dark Lord keeps me for."

Despite Snape's self-satisfied smirk, Harry thought he looked anxious while they reviewed possible schedules of hearings. Snape's eyes kept following the headmaster when Dumbledore wasn't looking, and now and then they would stray to Fawkes. Although Snape knew his value as Potions master, Harry suspected he felt that would not be adequate to justify his place with the Order. 

Dumbledore was looking at his desk, as if studying an invisible document. "It is easy enough to prove kinship," he said slowly. "I ran a test for that, myself, and suspect you did as well." At Severus's nod, he sighed. "I believe it would be best if we could also prove Herem. Did you keep your copy of the contract?"

Severus hissed air out through his teeth. "I destroyed it when Lily died." 

A hint of amusement crossed Dumbledore's features, at that. Harry suspected he was imagining, as Harry himself was, how completely Severus might destroy a thing. The old wizard sighed. "Do you know where James kept his copy?"

"In his vault, I would expect."

"But in what?"

"Oh." Severus seemed to understand what Dumbledore meant. Harry wished he did. "Yes. It was a brooch. A griffin -- just to irritate me." 

Dumbledore nodded. "I will look for it."

"Do you have a key to the vault?" Harry blurted out.

"Oh, not that vault," Dumbledore said. "Another one. Unlike the money vault, I have no indication of when you are to get access to it. Considering the family nature of ... This would be much easier if we had ever found James's will."

"Am I likely to lose the money, then?"

"Not that." Dumbledore stood. "James died and his wife inherited -- for a few seconds. Her child, then, inherits, at least for standard property. But with the Potter family heirlooms -- a cousin might make some sort of case. I will continue to look. If I do not find anything, your letter shows intent, I believe." 

He looked firmly at Harry. "Now, I have some matters I need to discuss with your father in private." 

Harry bit back an objection. He nodded tightly. "Good day, headmaster. Thank you for your time." 

 

When he emerged into the corridor, Harry realized he didn't want to go back to Gryffindor. Since he had come straight from class, he had his school bag with him, with his Potions, Defense Against Dark Arts, and Care of Magical Creature texts. He worked in the library, quickly finishing the essay for Hagrid. Since he was in the library, he even looked up and added a few details, such as the use of Wyvern bile in hysteria potions, and the infamous "wyvern defense" in the Mansfield scythe murders. When he was done, he went back to The Limits of Control. It was just as unreadable as Snape had said. Harry was determined to finish it, just to show he could.

He was eventually interrupted by Madam Pince asking if he planned to attend dinner. He ran down quickly. All of the staff and most of the students were already seated. He had to walk across a whispering hall to get to the Gryffindor table, but at least Hermione had saved him a seat. Ron was nearby, but with Andrew and Jack. Ginny and Dean were on the other side of Hermione.

"Where were you?" she asked anxiously. 

"Just the library."

" _Are_ you in trouble?"

"No." Harry grinned. "It was just about my independent study. He has a few recommended books for me, that's all, and I was looking things up and got distracted. I didn't mean to worry you." 

Hermione looked uncertain. Harry nudged her. 

"Wyverns!" he commented quietly. "Isn't that brilliant? You think we can get him to bring in a griffin?

"Harry...." Hermione said despairingly. Harry grinned at her, and she sighed. "I don't even know why I'm taking this class," she admitted. "Everything else I'm studying has professional value, but I think this one is just because I'm afraid someone will get killed if I'm not there." 

Harry looked at her. 

"What?" she demanded. 

"You know how you said I have a 'saving people thing?'" he said, trying not to think of the circumstances of that. "You have a 'keeping people out of trouble' thing. And we both need to learn how to tell when it's useful, and when it's just us being obsessive. If you're taking this class because it's fun, that's fine. You don't need to take it to protect us."

Hermione looked even more tense. "And with you?" she asked. "Are you staying out of trouble?"

Harry smiled slightly. "I have half of Monday's assignments done. I've barely had time for anything else." 

"That's wonderful!" Hermione looked suddenly suspicious. "What prompted this?"

"Well, Saturday is lost to Quidditch, so I thought I should go into that with as little outstanding as possible."

"Let me guess," Hermione said, "you haven't touched Potions or Charms."

Harry sniffed. "I did Potions first," he said loftily. "It's about the Wolfsbane Potion, which I know rather well."

"And Zoë was helping you," Hermione said coldly -- "I forgot."

"I couldn't remember the name of the Crystal Radiosis effect, and she answered when I asked Ron — not that I expected him to answer; I just wanted him to be quiet so I could think." _Does she actually know Zoë? I guess if Zoë is Ginny's dorm-mate, she would._ "I also did my Care of Magical Creatures essay, and figured out what to say in the Charms one, when I was studying with Ron. My Defense work is mostly practical, and I already know it. I've ignored Transfiguration, because I think I can do it over the weekend." 

Hermione nodded acknowledgment, but didn't say anything. They both ate, Harry with the distinct feeling that she was studying him. He tried to eat politely, and let his attention wander here and there. Malfoy, he noted, was sitting with Goyle and a girl who seemed to be Goyle's. Harry looked for Crabbe and found him further down the table. That seemed odd. Thinking back, Harry couldn't remember seeing Malfoy with Crabbe, this year. A girl further down the Slytherin table had apparently fought with someone. She stood abruptly, picked up her plate, and strode to Malfoy's other side, where there was a bit of space. He appeared to give her leave to sit, and began talking to her almost immediately. She was rather pretty, with short, honey-brown hair. Short hair was odd for a wizarding girl — Harry scanned the Slytherin table and didn't see any other short-haired girls except for Bulstrode, whom he wouldn't have recognized as a girl if he didn't know. 

He looked back at Hermione. She was staring at him, though she quickly tried to hide it. "Help me with something?" he asked.

"What?"

"Is it odd for a wizarding girl to have short hair? It seems to be."

Hermione relaxed as she went into lecture mode. "In a conservative family, adults will have long hair, to the extent permitted by their activities," she explained. "Very long hair, like the Malfoys have, usually indicates a life of leisure. Bill has his hair quite long for a working wizard, and too long for a man from a modern-thinking family — that's part of what his mum dislikes about it — he has his hair like an idle aristocrat, then works a dangerous job and dresses in clothes she considers disreputable — almost too Muggle. Of course, that's more common in other parts of the world — he's really just cosmopolitan. 

"Girls have long hair, usually. Girls only cut their hair if they don't intend to marry, or don't care whether or not they do. Boys always have short hair, unless, somehow, they become the male head of a named family — Malfoy could grow his hair, now, I suppose, and you could." This thought distracted her, and she looked at him questioningly. "Are you?"

"I don't think I'll grow it much longer," Harry returned. "It is better behaved this way, though."

Hermione snorted. "Honestly, Harry! Everybody knows you're straightening it." 

Harry glared at her in indignation. "I am not!"

"I'm not stupid, Harry," Hermione said angrily. "Some hair gets straighter as it lengthens, but not like that, not for an extra two inches." 

"I —" Harry caught himself. He couldn't afford to deny the most plausible explanation for the change people seemed to notice most. He let himself look embarrassed. "Oh, all right," he grumbled, ducking his head. "Do you like it?"

"No," Hermione said plainly. She softened it with a slightly apologetic look as she added. "It's attractive enough. Altogether, you've got quite a look, this year, but I wish you were still willing to be _you._ " She gave him a wry little smile as she drew out one of her own unruly locks. "Besides, if you thought your hair was too curly from that tiny wave, what must you think of mine?"

Harry smiled. "I think it's a glorious, willful mane to suit a brave, strong-minded girl." He stroked gently down her hair. "And beautiful. You'd look just _wrong_ with straight hair." 

"So do you." 

Harry sighed. "Well, it will stay this way for a while," he demurred. He looked down at his hands and twisted the ring on his finger nervously. "We're not eating," he said, looking up at her. "Shall we go for a walk?" Hermione bit her lip. She looked like she wanted to do that, with all it implied. Harry leaned closer. "I could play with your curls," he coaxed, "and tell you how lovely they are — how beautifully they frame your face —"

"Oh, stop it!" Hermione shouted. She stood up and tossed her napkin down on the table. Half of it fell in her mashed swede. "Just — you think you're so --!" She lost the words in indignation, and settled for storming off. Harry sat and stared after her. _Well,_ he thought, _maybe it was the kiss she was upset about then. But she was looking at me like she wanted to do it again._ He suddenly decided that he ought to talk to her. _After all, she's a girl,_ he reasoned. _I'm probably missing something that she thinks is obvious — like that she'd be offended at the thought I'm straightening my hair._

Although somewhat embarrassed to be noticeably following her, Harry got up and left the hall, leaving a wake of whispers. Once outside, he ran, but he didn't manage to catch Hermione. Her bag was in the Gryffindor common room when he got there, so he assumed she was up in the girls' dormitories, but yelling for her from the bottom of the stairs produced no response. No one else seemed to be in the tower. 

Harry wandered up the boys' staircase, and poked his head in the first room. It was empty. He went to the window and looked out. The view was a little bit different from his one up at the top of the tower, or the magical one in his dungeon room. Harry walked in and out of the boys' dormitories, and around the common room, trying to find his window, but did not. He was halfway up the stairs when he heard people entering the common room from dinner. Harry decided he didn't want to talk to any of them. He went to his room, grabbed his cloak, and slipped back down the stairs and out through the briefly open portrait hole. 

 

Fifteen minutes later, Harry was walking in the dungeons, through increasingly ill-lit corridors. His heart quickened at the sight of a line of light coming out of Snape's lab and glinting off the stones of the floor. He slowed down and lightened his footsteps. The door was ajar, but not by much. He wasn't sure if he could slide through without moving it. He peered inside. Snape was stirring something and muttering under his breath. While Harry watched, he switched to left-handed stirring and pulled out his wand, focusing it on the cauldron as he stirred. 

Harry stood outside the doorway for five minutes, watching what was obviously some very complicated brewing augmented by charms work. Finally, Snape took the cauldron off the flame, set it on a cooling rack, and stretched his back and wrists. When he turned back to the ingredients, Harry decided to try the opening. He thought he made it without touching anything, but Snape's head immediately snapped up. 

"Who's there?" he called, reaching for his wand, again. Quickly, Harry reached up and pushed his hood back. 

"Just me." 

"Don't sneak in here like that! I could have dropped something, or —"

"I waited. You were doing something complicated when I got here, and I waited until you weren't stirring anything or holding anything."

"Appreciated," Snape said tightly. " _However,_ next time, please remove your cloak in the hallway before entering. I still could have hexed you; I am rather paranoid and prize it as a survival skill."

"Okay." Harry pulled himself up onto a stool and looked around the lab. "Anything you want help with?"

"Don't you have work to do?"

"I've mostly finished it." Harry looked down. "If you want me to go, I will," he said quietly. "Say that, though." 

Snape looked at him for a moment, then sighed. "I'm not sure how much you can help, but stay until curfew, if it won't bore you."

Harry shook his head. "It won't." 

"Very well. Go shut the door and throw up a silencing spell." 

When Harry returned, Snape's attention was focused on a selection of square jars. Harry watched him run his hand slowly through the air an inch over the row. At the fourth jar, his hand paused, then descended. He opened the container and shook some butterfly wings from it into a mortar, which he handed to Harry. "Grind these to an even dust, and measure out a small scoop." 

"Okay." 

Snape took something slimy from another jar and began to slice it. "How's your term going?" he asked. 

"All right," Harry said, with a shrug. "Gryffindor seems really noisy, now, but I'm sure I'll get used to it, again. Ron keeps asking what I'm upset about when I'm not upset. I think it's facial changes, but I can't tell him that. It's annoying, so then I _am_ upset. Hermione is ... well, Hermione." He discovered he didn't want to talk about how he felt about Hermione, especially as he wasn't really sure. "Colin has a crush on Lavender. It's the first time I've ever felt sorry for Lavender about anything." 

Snape coughed. "I see." 

"Colin can be very annoying when he likes you. He's nicer than she is, though, so I feel sorry for him, too, in a way, but he's asking for it." 

"How are classes?"

"Okay, mostly. My Potions professor still treats me like pond scum."

Snape flinched. "Harry...."

"I know." Harry grinned at him. "You're supposed to tell me that pond scum is a necessary component of the blahblah potion, and therefore far more useful than I am." 

Snape smiled slightly and shook his head. "But I'm tired of it." He examined Harry's butterfly wings, which had been reduced to a lovely iridescent blue powder. "That's fine."

"V — Tom keeps you as a potions maker, right?"

"Mostly," Snape answered, frowning at Harry's name for Voldemort. "I also am expected to spy on Dumbledore, to the extent that is possible. It is widely understood that Dumbledore's barmy conversation is a smokescreen for his tremendous subtlety, so I have somewhat of an excuse for my inefficiency." 

"But you didn't seem sure Dumbledore would want you for potions work."

"Dumbledore will keep me here because he has promised me protection. However, I am not sure I will be worth the trouble as a brewer of potions. The Order has far less need than the Dark Lord for potions that cannot be bought, and I dislike the thought of being a charity case."

"I'd think the Order might not want to buy their potions, if they can avoid it. Doesn't that give people a clue about what they are planning, or expect?"

"There is that," Snape admitted. He looked down at his pile of diced slimy stuff. "And I can make some rather unusual potions, and have invented things for him, before." 

"There you go," Harry said encouragingly. 

"But no one actually trusts me," Snape said intently, still looking at the dice. "And I am not a good instructor for the lower levels — even I know that." He frowned, finally looking up. "And then, there is Slytherin." 

"What about Slytherin?"

"The way I currently run my house presumes that I am trying to maintain relationships with some of the Death Eater parents, and their associates. I have been considering how to handle that when we are discovered. Those children will hate me, or least feel they should, but they may still be the ones I should cultivate, the ones _someone_ needs to cultivate. I may no longer be able to do that."

"I suppose I won't enhance your reputation." 

"Simply having a half-blood child -- bypassing the matter of you and your history -- would cause me some trouble."

Harry tensed. "How ideologically impure of you."

"Precisely." Snape stood and wrapped his robes about himself, as if he were suddenly cold. "It will be scandalous. I'm afraid of what the distrust will cause certain of the students to do. Young Malfoy, for example, if he is angered at my betrayal...."

"This is a lot more complicated for you than for me, isn't it?"

 

**********

 

Hermione ignored Harry yelling for her, and he did not attempt to come up into the girls' dormitories. She stayed in her room, listening to the silence, then to the sound of people returning. After a while, Lavender came in. 

"Ron's looking for you," she announced. "He said he wants to talk."

"Is Harry with him?"

"No — no one's seen him since he went after you." Lavender's voice went breathy and tender. "Did he hurt you badly, dear? I saw the way he was looking at that Slytherin tart."

_What Slytherin tart?_ Hermione wondered. _Trust Lavender to invent a superfluous drama._ She hoped she hadn't noticeably flinched. "No," she mumbled, "it was just...." She didn't think she could explain it to Lavender. Fortunately, she didn't need to, as Lavender was all too eager to assure Hermione that she _understood._

"Clever of her. I wish I did," Hermione muttered to herself as she picked her way downstairs, after escaping from her effusively understanding roommate. 

Ron was waiting for her impatiently. "Let's go for a walk," he said. 

Hermione nodded and followed him outside. They walked a while in silence, to ensure no one was near. Finally, Ron stopped at a corner alcove where they could see both approaching corridors, hoisted himself up next to a bust of Thalia the Capricious, and said:

"Spill." 

Hermione sighed and pulled herself up on the other side of the bust. "I don't understand him," she said.

Ron punched both fists in the air and crowed. "Yes! We have vengeance!"

Hermione giggled. "Ron, seriously!"

"Well, seriously, I never understood you." Ron looked at her affectionately and smiled. "Okay. What's he doing?"

"Okay. First there's this kissing me thing. He's done that twice, but it seems to just be a way to shut me up. I mean he only kisses me if I'm saying something he doesn't want me to say."

"Have you tried saying something he _does_ want you to say? I mean, no offense, Hermione, but you've been fighting a lot." 

"Not all the time. And I was trying to talk to him at dinner today, and he started going off about how beautiful my hair is."

Ron blinked. "Is that bad? I thought girls liked that sort of thing."

"Well I would if he meant it, but I don't think he does."

"Why not?" Ron asked, perplexed.

"Because it was just convenient — another way to distract me. And he's straightened his — I got him to admit that." Hermione felt miserable. "And my hair is not beautiful."

"Hermione! Look, if you won't trust anyone who tells you you're beautiful, you'll end up with someone who doesn't appreciate you." Ron reached over and squeezed her hand. "You're beautiful, okay? I know it, and he knows it, and he ought to be able to tell you that." 

"But..." Hermione felt frustrated, even as Ron's praise warmed her. "Ron, he's just being strange. He looks at me in this odd, calculating way. And he's even more temperamental than he used to be. And there's that ring...."

Ron snorted. "Oh, the _ring,_ " he said loftily. "And he has robes to match," he confided. "Fancier stuff than he wore to Diagon Alley — I saw when I was getting his cloak from his trunk."

"It doesn't seem like his style," Hermione said miserably. _And I want to know who gave it to him,_ she thought.

Ron hesitated. "Yeah," he said, "I thought that." He shrugged. "But then, you've seen what Fred and George wear, these days, and I wouldn't have expected _that_ , either. Harry was talking about how he could spend his money, now, because he didn't have guardians who would steal it if they found out about it, so I reckon he's been doing just that." Ron shrugged again, shrinking down so he seemed smaller at the end of it. "If I had that much money, perhaps I'd surprise people too. Perhaps I'd surprise myself. I mean, I don't go in those sorts of shops...."

"What sort?" Hermione asked curiously.

"The sort with nothing I can afford," Ron retorted, reddening. "So if I did, and I could just pull out a fistful of galleons for anything that took my fancy, I have no idea what I'd dress like." 

Hermione thought about that. Harry had money for real, now, rather than just in theory. She nodded. That could change a number of things. Finally, she managed to force out her objection. "It's a girl's ring, though."

"So a Muggle can tell that too?" Ron said. "I thought he might just not know." He shrugged. "Whatever. Seamus ragged him about it and called him a ponce — just in a teasing way, of course, so Harry got that cool look he does now and said, 'so you certainly won't mind dueling me,' and you've never seen anyone scramble back so quick!"

Hermione found both Seamus's insult and Harry's response upsetting, so this did not amuse her as much as Ron obviously hoped it would, but she managed a smile. Ron frowned at her. 

"It's just a ring, Hermione."

"But where did he get it?"

Ron shrugged. "Somewhere in Hogsmeade, I expect." His brow furrowed. "Wait, you mean .... Oh, really, Hermione, you don't think it's from a girl!"

"Well, it seems more likely than he bought it." 

"So you think...." Ron looked offended. "You can't think he's got some secret girlfriend, then is running about with _that_ on! I mean, that's not very secret, is it? And he wouldn't, anyway." 

"I don't know! Maybe he had a girl over the summer and she died. I mean wouldn't that just be the sort of thing that happens to Harry?"

"Well, look.... If this is getting in the way, we'd better ask him about it." 

"Could you?" Hermione asked timidly.

"Why don't you?"

"He'll think I'm jealous."

"Well, you are!" Ron rolled his eyes. "All right. I'll ask. You have to be there, though." 

 

**********

 

Harry slipped into Gryffindor tower a few minutes before curfew. He had to look around the crowded room for a moment before he spotted Ron and Hermione beckoning him over to a place in the corner. 

"Oy, Harry, where've you been?" Ron asked. 

Harry shrugged and sat in the free chair. "Just walking." 

"All evening?"

"It was only a couple of hours." Harry looked at Ron's and Hermione's anxious expressions and rolled his eyes. "Honestly! I just wanted to be alone."

"Well, we're not forcing you to sit with us," Hermione said sharply.

"I don't mind you." Harry looked at her pleadingly, and gestured at the noisy common room. "It's just all this ... noise and people. I'm not used to it. It was quiet, in the summer." He bit his lip. 

"I didn't mean to offend you, Hermione. I'll back off, if that's what you want."

"It's not ..." Hermione reddened. "You just sound so insincere."

"I do?" Harry wondered if he really did. "How?"

"I can't explain it, just ... it was contrived."

"No." Harry shook his head. "That was just what I wanted to do." 

Ron cleared his throat. "Before this goes any further...."

"Yes?" Harry challenged. 

"Where did you get that ring?" Ron pointed. "Dean thinks it's from a girl, and if it is...."

Harry stared at him for a moment. _A girl? Oh, he means.... Has one of them been warning her off me? Dean, perhaps, or Ginny?_ He managed not to snicker. "Oh, it is," he said innocently.

Hermione flinched. Ron's mouth dropped open. Harry laughed. 

"Well, not directly. But it was my mother's. Professor Dumbledore found it, and asked if I'd like to have it." Harry smiled. "I doubt I'll have any use for an engagement ring for quite a while, so I decided just to wear it, in the meantime. I'm told it matches my eyes." Harry looked down. "Which makes sense," he said more quietly, "as it was meant to match hers." 

"Oh," Hermione said. 

"Don't tell me you've all been fretting about that!" 

"Well, not just that," Ron said. "I mean, you've been a bit odd, this year. Rather tetchy, and a bit ... overly wizardly? I mean, if that makes sense. Old blood, I suppose. Neville thinks it's getting away from the Muggles, but your new robes seem a bit much for just hanging out here, by yourself, and ...."

"Oh!" Harry realized he was blushing, and decided that wasn't bad. "Er ... I went shopping with Remus." 

"And?"

"Yes, well.... Apparently, he used to do this for James. I mean, James had more money than taste, and Remus more taste than money, so Remus would buy his clothes and enjoy having an unlimited budget." 

Hermione was giggling. Harry liked that. 

"So yes, _those_ robes. Snape looked at the red ones and told me I could visit Malfoy Manor in those, if I wasn't me."

Even Ron laughed at that. 

"Where did you wear them?"

"Oh, just to dinner." 

"And the green ones? Why green?"

"Remus says they show off my eyes." 

"Ooo, la!" Ron said. "Perhaps you should keep an eye on Professor Lupin, Hermione. I mean, we shouldn't go leaving Harry alone with him."

"Don't joke," Harry said fiercely. "Remus wouldn't do that."

"Well I shouldn't think so!" Hermione exclaimed. 

"Good. I don't want anything of the sort getting talked around. He has problems enough with being a werewolf, and it _won't_ be funny if someone takes it seriously." 

"Won't mention it again," Ron promised, wide-eyed.

"Thanks. Sorry about ... being tetchy." Harry rubbed his forehead. "I had a strange summer. All ready for Quidditch tryouts, tomorrow?"

 


	32. Flying and Digging

 

Harry stretched experimentally as he surveyed the cluster of Gryffindors who had showed up for tryouts. Snape had told him to skip the muscle relaxants the night before any game or practice, and he was trying to decided if he felt sore from that, or if he was just normally tense and abnormally aware of it. _Maybe I should schedule practices so I still have the potion every other night._

The Gryffindor hopefuls ranged from a determined-looking second year girl to a fifth-year boy who seemed to regard the team as Andrew and Jack's new social club. Harry caught himself mentally discounting both, then had to remind himself that he had joined the team his first year. He looked at the second-year girl again, and shook his head in amazement. _I was even younger than that,_ he thought. _A little kid, really. And Fred and George and Alicia and Angelina and Katie put up with me? But they were only a year older than this girl, themselves. How strange!_

He decided to make sure she had a fair chance to show her stuff.

 

Harry had the prospective Chasers first try goals against Ron, then passes among themselves. After that, he chose the top four and had them play two-on-two, with a Beater on each side. He then drafted Dean, who was watching, into guarding the second goal. 

"But I've never even tried that!" Dean protested. 

Harry handed him a school broom and shooed him towards the pitch. "Just think of it as football," he said. "Except you mostly use your hands. And you're flying on a broomstick." When Dean looked incredulously back at him, he said, "Dean, you don't have to be any good at it. Just get up there." 

Ron came by and hovered near him. 

"I'm going to use the candy."

"Don't make anyone fall," Harry warned. 

"I won't."

"And nothing insulting."

Ron rolled his eyes. "All right, then," he said. "Any other rules?"

"Just be sensible, all right?"

Ron nodded and flew off, ignoring a wave from Colin, who was flying about the perimeter of the pitch with his cameras, diligently photographing everything. 

Ginny, as Harry had expected, was easily the best available Chaser. After that, he had picked a fifth-year boy named Martin Glen, a third-year named Ignatius Ingham (who seemed to go by Iggy), and the second-year girl, Teresa Emmet. He teamed Martin with Teresa and Ginny with Iggy, then, as Martin and Teresa seemed to be playing against each other, rather than with each other, Martin with Iggy and Ginny with Teresa. He had just decided that it was Martin who was the problem, as he and Iggy were now failing to work in concert, when he heard a sudden, deep "Yeow!" from the bludger, just as Andrew hit it. Andrew flew straight backwards, yelping. The bludger howled and shrieked and swore its way across the field to Teresa, who ducked, looped it once to draw it near Martin, then caught a toss from Ginny. She easily got the quaffle past Ron, who was laughing too hard to guard. The Bludger had stopped vocalizing — for, Harry suspected, the same reason. Colin's camera flashed constantly through the whole scene. 

Harry let them play for a few more minutes, switched Ginny to playing with Martin, as she hadn't got a chance to watch him, then called them down a few minutes later. 

"All right," he said. "Thank you all for showing up — that was some great playing. Ginny, you're in." He looked around at the other three. Teresa, who had landed looking flushed and elated, now looked nervous. Martin looked haughty. Iggy was staring at his toes. "The team needs to talk about who else to take on. Ginny was a special case, as she was just doing a position change. We'll let you know when we have a decision — before dinner, probably." 

 

Harry led the team into the changing rooms, and sat down on a bench. "Iggy and Teresa," he said.

"Yes," Ginny agreed.

"Teresa!" Andrew protested. "But she's only twelve!"

"Yes. And she's _that good_ at twelve. As good as Iggy, and better than Martin." 

Ron shook his head. "Martin has a much stronger throw." 

"Martin wants to be the only Chaser," Ginny said contemptuously. "He wouldn't work _with_ me at all."

"He didn't work with anybody," Harry confirmed. "That's why I kept switching the combinations around — to make sure it was him."

"I still say twelve is too young," Andrew said.

"It's older than I was," Harry pointed out. 

For a moment, everyone was silent. 

"Wow," Ron said finally. 

"Yeah. That was my feeling. I didn't think of myself as that young when I was."

"There's another advantage to her," Jack said thoughtfully.

"What?"

"It staggers the team ages, right? We won't have this huge turnover, again. I mean, that's our biggest problem for this season, isn't it? Even if we're all good, we still need to learn to work together."

"So not Martin," Ginny said emphatically.

Andrew reluctantly conceded, and the decision was made. Still, as they were leaving, he commented to Ron:

"It won't be as much fun, will it? I mean, with a little kid around." 

Ron shrugged. Harry interrupted. 

"If you can't have fun just playing Quidditch, go somewhere else. This is not a social club for upperclassmen. We certainly don't need to do anything you can't do in front of a second-year." 

 

"So," Hermione said over dinner, in the businesslike manner that indicated an incipient project. "We have a job for tomorrow."

"We do?" Ron asked, looking up from his plate in bewilderment. 

"I have a three o'clock meeting with Snape," Harry said firmly.

"You do?" Ron repeated. "But, Harry, we have plans."

"We do?" Harry asked. At the significant look he was receiving from Ron, he suddenly remembered — the WWW tricks testing party. "Oh, hell. We do. Well, we'll have to start early, then. Snape should understand if I show up green." Ron looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. Harry grinned. "Might even make him laugh." 

"Snape? Laugh? This isn't any Snape I've met," Ron snorted.

Harry smiled. "No, probably not."

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble," Hermione said icily, "perhaps you could tell me _what_ you'll be busy with Sunday?"

"You don't really want to know, Hermione," Ron answered. 

Hermione looked at Harry, who shrugged. "He's probably right. I mean, you'll find out, but you don't want to know ahead of time."

"Ron!" Hermione scolded, "You're a _prefect_."

"Yeah. Isn't that grand?"

"Hermione," Harry said firmly, "we will not be breaking any school rules. We will be in Gryffindor tower. It's okay." 

"You know I'm going to imagine the most horrible, dangerous things," Hermione said pleadingly. "Tell me, please?"

Harry looked around. He thought a few nearby people, though not looking at them, were suspiciously quiet. "Okay, we'll tell you. But not here. After dinner."

"Could this _whatever_ be rescheduled?"

"No. Other people are involved." 

"Very well." Hermione sighed. "We'll need to start the library work tonight, then."

"Library work?" Ron said. "What library work?"

"Researching Augustus Maitland, of course! How long did you intend to put it off?"

"Who's Augustus Maitland?"

"Remember? Snape said you would find his history educational?"

"So? I don't take extra assignments from Snape! He's not even one of my instructors, anymore." 

"Still! Don't you want to know?"

"I don't," Harry said decisively. _I don't want them poking around in the history of my parents' class — in all the meanings of 'my parents'. Hermione will find something incriminating — I know she will._

"But why would Snape mention him?" Hermione asked insistently. "It could be important! Come help me, at least. I have a new spell that I've been meaning to show you — it will make your schoolwork easier." 

 

So it was that after dinner, Harry found himself reluctantly accompanying Hermione and Ron to the library. She selected a few texts and took them back to the tables. The top one was a basic potions text — Harry was certain she knew everything in it. _Hell, Ron probably knows everything in it._

"Now, suppose I want to find all the spells that require sea serpent scales —" Hermione began.

"Why?" Ron interrupted. 

"Well, maybe I have some and want to sell them."

"Maybe someone has been buying them and I want to know what he might be doing," Harry suggested.

Ron grinned. "Maybe they're all over the floor of Snape's lab, and I want to know what blew up." 

"Fine," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, you want to find them all. Watch." 

She placed a blank piece of parchment on the table, the book on the parchment, and another blank piece of parchment on the book. On the top parchment she wrote "sea serpent". Then she took out her wand and tapped the stack firmly. _"Indicio!"_

A ripple of light and darkness moved through the pages, then stilled. Hermione lifted the book. The lower parchment now had a list of pages numbers corresponding to lines containing the words "sea serpent." 

"Clever," Harry admitted.

"Brilliant!" Ron exclaimed. "No more paging through everything! How long have you known this, Hermione?"

"I just learned it this summer." Hermione flushed with pride. "I'll be able to write much better essays, now, I'm sure." 

She took the next book, which was titled "A Survey of Notable Hogwarts Graduates, 1960 to 1980." She repeated the spell, this time writing "Augustus Mayland" on the top sheet. Harry frowned for a moment, then found himself smiling. He covered it by sitting down and pulling out a book. He had seen Maitland's name written in the front of one of Severus's books, and he was sure it had a silent "t" in it. 

When the library closed, two hours later, Hermione had still not found a reference for _Mayland_ _, Mailand, Maeland, Maland,_ or _Meiland_ in any of two dozen references. She was not discouraged. 

"He may be much further back — I started with modern references — or he may have died before graduation. If I don't find anything in historical references, I'll start working back through periodicals. Of course, I could have the final vowel wrong. Perhaps it's an _e_ , or an _i_ , or a _y_. A _u_ , even." 

Hermione, still walking, looked around hurriedly to check that no one was near. "Now," she said firmly, "why is it that you two can't help me, tomorrow? 

Harry slowed in his pace to look over at her. "We're having a testing party with some stuff Fred and George sent me," he told her. 

"What?!"

"Except me," Ron said hurriedly. "I'm just watching in case somebody needs a charm, or an escort to the Hospital wing."

"So 'we' is?"

"All the sixth year boys, except Ron." 

"I thought we were done with this when they left!"

"Hermione, look — I'm not paying first years to do it, okay? And this is all stuff they thought I'd find funny — Ron recognized about half of it."

Hermione took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

"I want you in the common room," she said. "So I'm there if anything goes wrong."

"You're not worried about it being a bad influence on the younger kids?"

Hermione snorted. "As if I could prevent that! You know perfectly well they did this for the advertising."

"Well, it was my birthday present, really. It's just, most of this stuff is no fun alone, or with people who won't laugh when you've suddenly got a tail, or rainbow-striped hair, or everything you say coming out backwards, or rhyming."

Hermione giggled, then clapped her hand over her mouth. "I'm not amused!" she squeaked. 

Harry put an arm around her and pulled her close. He realized he was now tall enough to kiss her forehead comfortably, so he did. "Of course you're not," he said affably. "And you won't have any fun watching us, either." That struck him as odd, when he said it. Of course Hermione would not participate, but perhaps she would like to be invited? "You're welcome to play, too, you know," he said seriously. 

"I'm not a sixth-year boy," Hermione said flatly. 

Harry shrugged. _Ah! So she would like to be invited._ "So you weren't around for the planning, which was up in our dormitory. You can still play. Just come by and sit down if you want to." 

 


	33. Experiments

Experiments

 

The trick testing was rather fun. After some discussion, the Gryffindor boys decided on a procedure to keep things from being too chaotic. They sat in a circle, with each person, in turn, selecting something and trying it. They waited for each item to take effect before progressing to the next person's turn. Some things took effect immediately, and about as many with a five minute delay. Now and then, something took longer, and they talked while waiting. 

It wasn't until the third item, which made Seamus's hair grow all the way down to his feet in a matter of two or three minutes, that other people in the common room noticed what was going on. They had quite an audience when Harry started his turn. 

He pulled a packet out of the pile in the middle of the circle and looked at the label. 

"What does it say?" Dean asked.

"Mood Wings," Harry read. 

Hermione made the undignified sound of attempting to repress a laugh. Dean sniggered. Harry stuck his tongue out him.

The packet contained a lot of tiny little sweets. Harry looked nervously at them. "Should I start with just one?"

Everybody nodded. Ron, Hermione, Seamus, and Ginny said "yes," simultaneously, causing more laughter. 

Harry nodded and popped one of the sweets into his mouth. It tasted like butterscotch. He quite liked it. "Yum," he said. Everybody watched him expectantly. Ron set his watch. 

The sweet was gone, and Harry was starting to think he should try another, when his shoulders suddenly began to itch. He squirmed uncomfortably. 

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked anxiously. 

"Nothing, it just — it itches, sort of."

"Where?"

"My shoulders. It feels like--"

Harry never got to tell them what it felt like. With a sudden "thwip!" the itching stopped, and Hermione yipped and jumped back. A pleasant breeze and soft hum filled the air at both sides of Harry. People around him were beginning to laugh. Harry looked to his right and saw a blur of silver. At his left, it was the same. Pretty much everyone was laughing, now. Ron was down on the floor, pounding it with his fists. 

Harry suddenly realized that his shoulders were spasming. He tried very hard to keep them still, and was suddenly rewarded by the blurs of silver resolving into wings. Silver wings. _Snitch_ wings, Harry realized, and joined the others in laughing. 

"Oh, let me try!" Dean exclaimed. Five minutes later, Dean had iridescent dragonfly wings netted with black. Neville reached out a hand. 

"Here, me too!" Ron said. Harry turned at a motion to his right, and found Hermione had sat down between him and Seamus. She smiled at him, her eyes glowing with mischief. 

"Play?" she whispered.

He handed her one out of turn. 

Neville got slender, curved bird's wings, like those of a swift or a falcon. Ron got the brightly colored wings of a tropical bird. Seamus had brilliant butterfly's wings that reminded Harry uncomfortably of the ones he had ground in Snape's mortar. Hermione got lacy, elaborate, fairy wings, that made her "Ooo!" in delight. Ginny asked to try as well, and got huge, brown bat wings. Rather than being disappointed, as Harry had feared she would be when he first saw them, she used them to full advantage, first swooping at her brother like an attacking demon, then posing with coy innocence for Dean. Colin started taking pictures, which lessened Harry's disappointment when his own twitchy snitch's wings vanished. 

 

The Gryffindors went down to lunch looking like the survivors of some deranged duel. Half of them had oddly colored hair, or invisible or extraneous body parts. Ginny, who had taken several more of the Mood Wings sweets, still had her bat wings. Hermione had a fluffy tail that she could twitch into elegant curves or bring over to tickle Harry's neck. Neville had eyebrows of large, curved, iridescent feathers in every color of the rainbow. Anything Seamus attempted to say came out in rhyme. Jack was hopping like a kangaroo. Iggy needed to be led, because he saw two of everyone. He told Harry that the voice bounced between the two apparent people, changing at every phrase, "rather," he said, "like listening to the twins." Colin, who had been, with great effort, swimming through the air, dropped to the floor about halfway to the Gryffindor table. His "Oof!" and "Ow," were lost in the general hubbub of comments, questions, and laughter. 

Harry looked quite normal. After the snitch wings, his shirt had fit oddly, and he had remembered Snape's warning against any form of Transfiguration. After that, he had avoided anything that might have a transfiguring effect. He sat next to Hermione and glanced up at the head table. Snape was looking down at him with an enigmatic expression. Professor McGonagall, he realized suddenly, was striding towards their table, her face red. He wasn't sure if that was from anger, or from trying not to laugh. 

McGonagall stopped directly in front of Harry, or rather, he realized, the point midway between Ron and Hermione. She looked at Hermione. 

"Miss Granger. What is the meaning of this display?"

Hermione seemed frozen. McGonagall looked at Ron, who was also silent. Harry, studying the assistant headmistress from the perspective of summer staff dinners, thought she was actually more amused than angry. A bit worried, perhaps. 

"Fred and George sent me some samples," he volunteered. Two of the feathers from Neville's feather eyebrows turned to tiny birds and flew between them, chirping wildly. McGonagall's mouth twitched. 

"Samples?"

"New things Weasley's Wizard Wheezes is selling, or plans to sell soon. It's just joke shop stuff. There's not a rule against that, is there?"

McGonagall pursed her lips in a vain attempt not to smile. "No, Mr. Potter, there is not. I just wanted to be certain that you had not all been hexing each other." She scanned the table and increased the volume of her voice. "Anyone who is not back to normal by the end of dinner tonight is to go to the hospital wing. Is that clear?"

There was a low murmur of "yes, professor." McGonagall smiled at Harry. 

"Did you just receive these?"

"No, it was a while ago."

Her head inclined in a slight nod. "Thank you for waiting for the weekend, Mr. Potter." With that, she returned to the head table. 

 

With the trick testing over so early, Harry actually had some free time before his meeting with Snape. He decided to finish The Limits of Control. _And next time,_ he thought, _I pick something that isn't quite so brain-numbing._

He was six pages away from the end of the book when Hermione sat down near him. He looked up, about to tell her to go away for five minutes, but was stopped by the serious look on her face. 

"What is it?" he asked. 

"Is this a bad time?"

Harry looked down at the book, then shook his head. "No. This is fine." 

"Is the book good?"

"It's awful, actually. The author manages to make _everything_ boring. He must be related to Professor Binns. I can't wait to finish it." 

"Oh. Well, I just wanted to ask what was wrong. You've been scowling since we got back from lunch. Is it just the book?"

"I suppose. I'm not upset about anything. I hadn't realized I looked upset."

"You've been looking that way a lot."

"Ah." Harry shrugged. "Maybe it's just that my face is thinner?"

Hermione did not look convinced, but she shrugged. 

"About this morning...." she said hesitantly.

"Yes?"

In a rush, Hermione continued. "I had a good time being with you. I haven't felt that comfortable with you since school started. Now, I...." She blushed. "I just wanted to know ... why did you kiss me, before?"

Harry looked down, reddening. "Why do you think?" he muttered. 

"Well, that's the thing. I.... When we were at Diagon Alley, it was fine." Harry looked up. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad, after all. Hermione was biting her lower lip. Harry thought it was darling. "Then afterwards, I thought that you'd just kissed me to shut me up...."

"No! I mean ... well, I suppose, but to dispute it, really. I think you're pretty and clever and sweet, and I didn't want to be discounted like that, over some stupid thing."

"But the other one was to keep me from talking, too. And you never say anything nice afterwards."

Harry held out a hand to her, and Hermione took it and let him pull her closer on the couch. He turned and kissed her slowly and sweetly, brushing over her soft lips, then pressing urgently, then parting her lips with his tongue and teasing around the tip of her own. She adapted to everything, returning his attentions in kind, until the kiss had become a frantic dance of tongues and lips in sinuous motion. 

He pulled back, breathless. 

"Dear Hermione. Do you know how wonderfully you kiss?"

"Do I?"

"Oh, yes."

"You too. Quite the best kisser of any boy I've ever tried," Hermione whispered. Harry smirked, aware of Ron standing over by the fire.

"Sit with me," Harry pleaded. "Until I need to go." He looked at the clock and sighed. "Soon."

"Why do you need to see Professor Snape, again?" she asked, cuddling up against him. Harry sighed contentedly and moved an arm to rest across her shoulders and pull her slightly closer. 

"It's more of the project," he answered.

"He and Dumbledore are alternating teaching you?"

"No, actually Flitwick and Remus are in on the act, too. But everyone won't be teaching me at once, or necessarily even amounts." Harry hesitated. He would be seeing Snape far more than the others. "Actually, Snape's the only one who wants frequent meetings — I don't think he trust me to work on my own." 

"I can see why he might not," Hermione said timidly.

"Unfortunately, so can I. So, I'm agreeing to all the meetings." 

Hermione reached across his lap and gently took the book from his other hand. She brought it over, looked at the title, and frowned. 

"This is Dark Arts," she said incredulously. She shifted slightly away from Harry to bend over the book in her lap. She flicked through the pages, scanning some.

"It doesn't have much in the way of casting notes," Harry said defensively. "It's more a theoretical and legal overview. What's illegal. Why. When it became illegal."

"Harry -- Why are you reading this?"

"It's for my project." 

 

On Monday, Malfoy was still ignoring Harry in Potions lesson. That was fine with Harry. The lesson itself was okay. Having spent several hours with Snape the day before, Harry found himself much more able to take his insults in stride. He wondered if he could manage to consider it entertaining, with practice. 

No one got injured or was kept after class, so the students all left the Potions lab in a group. Bulstrode took off quickly, as if her next class was at a distance, but the others walked in a clump, Parvati and Boot chatting. Harry looked sidelong at Finch-Fletchley, to see if he could start up a conversation there, but the Hufflepuff was lost in thought. Parvati left them at the second floor. Harry was still walking near Malfoy, Finch-Fletchley, and Boot when they approached the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. Ron and Hermione were waiting at the corner. 

Hermione smiled at Harry, but Ron stepped forward with a less friendly grin. 

"Hey look — it's the Amazing Bouncing Ferret!," he jeered. "Been quiet, this year, fer—"

 "Ron," Harry warned ominously.

The intensity of his voice surprised even him. Everybody froze. Harry took a step toward Ron. "Lay off."

Both Ron and Malfoy stared at him in amazement. Hermione bit her lip. Terry edged closer to the classroom door. Harry thought Justin had already gone inside, but he didn't dare look around and take his eyes off Malfoy and Ron to check.

"What, are you defending Malfoy, now?" Ron asked incredulously. 

"He didn't _do_ anything." 

"Oh, well, not just now," Ron said angrily. "For all that matters."

"That matters." Harry glared at Ron. "I am not playing this game anymore, and neither should you. If he's leaving you alone, don't start anything." 

For a moment, Ron stared, open-mouthed, at Harry. Malfoy had leaned back against the wall and was watching them studiously. Hermione backed up a pace and crossed her arms over her chest. 

Harry advanced a step on Ron. He wasn't actually sure he could get Ron to obey him. He wanted Ron uncertain enough to back down, but he didn't want Ron to feel threatened. To balance the aggression of his advance, he tried to keep the anger from his face.

"We will discuss this later," he said. "For now, do not bait Malfoy."

Ron frowned. He looked at Harry closely, then, to Harry's dismay, he began to get the satisfied look that indicated Ron had a good next move. 

"You know, Harry," he said, "You really shouldn't straighten your hair. It's too much like Snape's." 

Harry flinched. One hand went immediately to his hair, and he pulled his fingers through it. Belatedly, he realized that he had seen Snape make the same motion, many times. Malfoy gave a soft snort of amusement.

"Why I see what you mean, Weasley," he commented. "Rather like someone subjected Professor Snape to shampoo." He stepped away from the wall to look more directly at Harry's face. Harry felt a brief flicker of foreboding. Uniting Ron and Malfoy against him had not been the point! Drawing their attention to his growing resemblance to Snape was even worse. He was fairly sure that Ron had not noticed how accurate his own comment was, but Malfoy was approaching with more critical regard. Harry held his ground to Malfoy's advance. Malfoy passed Ron as if he wasn't there, but stopped uncertainly when he was in arm's reach of Harry. Harry looked down at him. 

"Yes," he said, guessing the reason. "I've grown." 

Malfoy looked him up and down with a dismissive flick of his eyes. "Still not much to you," he commented. He shifted back and looked cockily at Harry. "The sneer is quite good — very like — but really, Potter, I don't think you can carry the look. Though it would be quite amusing to see you try."

Harry stepped back. _Was I sneering?_

"Better," Malfoy commented loftily. He strode to the classroom door, then looked back. "Time for class, Harry," he said carelessly, then disappeared inside. 

Harry had to grab Ron to keep his friend from pursuing the Slytherin. After a brief scuffle, they ended up on the floor, with Harry atop Ron. Harry was now certain that Remus wasn't in the classroom, yet — he would have come out to investigate the commotion, by now. 

"Ron!"

"Let me go! I'll kill him!"

"For what?" Harry demanded. "He didn't do anything."

"He called you Harry!"

Hermione giggled. Harry looked down at Ron, who was starting to quiet. 

"I don't think familiarity is a capital offense, Ron," Harry commented dryly. 

"Get off me," Ron growled. Harry figured Malfoy had settled by now, and was probably prepared to defend himself, if Remus wasn't present. Obligingly, he got off Ron. Ron stood and glared at him. "Did you tell him he could call you Harry?" he demanded.

Harry shook his head. "We don't really talk." 

"Well, are you going to tell him not to?"

Harry grinned. "No way. I'll call him Draco and see what he does." 

Ron took a swing at Harry, and Harry dodged. 

"No!" Hermione yelled. Both boys scrambled back and drew their wands. 

"Harry! Ron!"

Professor Lupin had arrived. He came running down the corridor, looking extremely displeased. 

" _What_ do you think you are doing?" A few heads poked out of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom to watch. Lupin frowned. "Harry, you know better! Mr. Weasley, you are a _prefect._ You are supposed to enforce school rules, not break them." Lupin glanced up at Hermione. "Miss Granger, something more effective than yelling 'no!' would be appreciated. A Disarming Charm would have been an appropriate action."

"But I'd have to get one wand first," Hermione protested. "Then the other might...."

Professor Lupin nodded wearily. "We will be learning how to affect a group of people or things, this term. I'm certain you will find it useful." He looked back at Harry and Ron, again, and sighed. "Twenty-five points each from Gryffindor for the two of you." 

Ron's jaw dropped. Harry shrugged as if he didn't care.

"But ...!" Ron said.

"You were fighting in the halls," Lupin said angrily, "and obviously prepared to escalate to hexes. That is a major infraction of a rule of safety. If I see either of you do it again, it will be more points _and_ detention. Is that clear?"

Ron nodded. Harry said "yes, sir," but accompanied it with his most defiant glare. Remus responded with an exasperated look that immediately made Harry feel his response had been shamefully childish. He dropped his gaze contritely. "Sorry," he added.

Remus sighed. "Let's go inside," he said. "You will not partner for dueling, today." 

"Professor Lupin?" Hermione said. "Ron shouldn't partner with Malfoy, either."

Remus almost smiled. "That, Miss Granger, is assumed at all times." 

 


	34. Magical Assistance

 

When they got into the classroom, Ron marched directly over to a single seat between Terry Boot and the wall. Harry sighed and moved to a free pair of seats. He glanced back at Hermione to see if she would follow and found her regarding him uncertainly. He smiled at her and indicated the desks with a jerk of his head. She came and sat with him. 

Ron strode past them on his way to lunch and told Harry to piss off when he tried to sit near Ron's place. Ron spent the meal next to Andrew and Jack, but mostly glowered at his food in silence. After forcing down a modest amount of food, Harry got up. 

"I need to talk to Ron, now," he said to Hermione.

"He's not going to listen now," Hermione said. "You need to give him a day or two."

"Hermione, we have _Wyverns_ this afternoon. I need to talk to him now!"

Hermione's eyes widened. "Oh no! I'd forgotten. Harry, that's really bad! Do you think Madam Pomfrey will give you Calming Draughts? Him, at least?" 

"I'll take care of it."

Harry stood up and walked down the table to Ron's seat. Ron ignored him. 

"Ron."

"Didn't I tell you to piss off?"

"We need to talk."

"I don't see that we have anything to talk about," Ron said icily. He started to turn his back to Harry, but Harry grabbed his shoulder.

"We need to talk about surviving Wyverns. This is no way to meet a Wyvern."

"If you want to apologize, go ahead."

"No. Let's go outside where we can discuss this in private." 

For a moment, Ron looked like he might refuse, then an apprehensive look crossed his face. Without a nod or word to Harry, he stood and walked out of the hall. Harry followed. 

They went through the Entrance Hall, and into the bright sunlight of a breezy autumn afternoon. Harry stopped when they reached the grass, and Ron turned to face him.

"So," Ron said sharply, "you want to be friends with Malfoy."

"I want a truce with Malfoy. He doesn't seem like friend material."

"But you're on a first name basis now."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I expect he just did that to goad you. Malfoy's always known how to put your back up."

"But I can't do it to him."

"Not start it, no. I don't like a friend of mine being a bully."

Ron stood very still for a moment, his hands clenched into white-knuckled fists at his sides, and his face growing red. "This is not," he spat finally, "calming me down!"

"Sorry." Harry pulled out the necklace Hermione had brought him. It was a red globe (she'd told him it had taken her a while to find one that wasn't heart-shaped) on a black string. He grinned as he unscrewed the top and lifted it with the attached double-circle bubble-wand dripping pink liquid.

"Try this." 

"Harry...!" Ron's annoyed complaint was cut off by a spontaneous giggle as the cloud of bubbles broke on his face and the hand he lifted to brush them away. He stood in bewildered delight for a moment, then stuck his tongue out at Harry. "You're awful. You do know that, don't you?"

"Uh-huh. Are you calm enough to talk about how to survive the Wyvern, now?"

Ron grinned. "More?" he suggested. 

"It has a very short duration. I don't know how Hagrid would take me blowing bubbles at you every fifteen minutes, and I _don't_ want to know what our classmates would think. You also might do something stupid when everything looked pretty."

Ron tumbled down to the grass and lay on his back looking up at the sky. "Like this?" he asked cheerfully. "Here, little Wyvern!"

Harry sat down next to him. "Like that. Sit up a moment."

"Hrmph. Okay." 

Ron sat up. Harry took a vial from his pocket. "Drink this."

"What is it?" 

"The same thing I blew at you. But if you swallow it, it's a lot more like a standard Calming Draught and lasts for two hours or more, which should get us through Care of Magical Creatures alive." Harry shrugged. "Not as much fun, but probably safer, and I'll still have the bubbles for emergencies." 

Ron took the vial and frowned at it. "But can I trust you?" he asked coyly.

"Of course you can. Drink up." Harry watched Ron drink what was in the vial and nodded.

Ron handed the vial back to him and lay down again. "You should look at the clouds," he suggested. "They have all this amazing light around the edges."

"Hm." Harry glanced up at the clouds, which were rather pretty, fluffy white ones, against a vivid blue sky, then looked back down at Ron. "You realize this doesn't change anything. Really, you're still mad at me —"

"I know." Ron smiled beatifically at him. "Arrogant sod."

"-- and we still need to fight it out so we can make up."

"Wednesday evening good?"

"No. I've got a meeting." 

"Imagine that. With the greasy Death Eater snake?"

Ron's almost dreamy tone kept the insult from bothering Harry as much as it might have. "Shush," he chided.

"You reckon you should take some, too?"

Harry shook his head. "I know Occlumency." He smiled sourly at the redhead. "I could hide everything I feel so deep you'd never catch a glimpse of it." 

"No offense, Harry, but that sounds bad."

Harry shrugged. "It's better than being possessed by the Dark Lord, isn't it?"

Ron frowned for a moment, then the expression passed. 

"S'pose so." 

"I know what you mean, though. Snape is too good at it. I think that's why he's so horrible when he can lose control. He _wants_ to."

"I think he's just a sadistic bastard."

Harry considered. "At times. Let's go, okay?"

 

They were the first members of the Care of Magical Creatures class to arrive. Hagrid greeted them enthusiastically. To Harry's relief, he seemed too intent on his Wyverns to notice Ron's dreamy air. A huge wrought iron aviary had sprung up next to the paddock, appearing overnight, like an ornate filigree mushroom. In it were three Wyverns, one green, one blue, and one blue with a purple sheen fading down from its head. 

If Harry had seen the Wyverns in an illustration, he might have thought they were the artist's conception of dragons, based on an inadequate description — perhaps one neglecting to say "lizard". The scaled bodies had two legs, beaklike snouts, and the stance of fighting cocks. _If a dragon looks like a lizard with bits added,_ Harry thought, _these look like snakes with bits added._ He studied them a moment longer. _I wonder if they would understand parseltongue?_

_"Greetings,"_ he hissed experimentally.

Hagrid jerked back from the enclosure. Ron looked oddly at Harry. The Wyverns raised their heads and twisted their necks, looking around for the source of the sound. 

_"Here,"_ Harry said, walking a bit around the aviary, so he was farther from Ron. _"I am the one who speaks. Do you understand?"_

The heads nodded and wove, but the Wyvern's voices came out in harsh, birdlike bursts of sound. Harry could not distinguish any words. 

_"You can understand, but not speak?"_

The Wyverns's heads dipped and rose and dipped again. The purple-headed one approached him, while the blue and green twisted their tails together in a slow, ceaseless spiraling motion.

_"Yesssss,"_ said a lazy voice near his feet. _"I think that, also."_

"Uh, Harry?" Ron said distantly. "You've got an adder next to you."

Harry had already spotted the adder. It was an attractive tan one, with impressive darker points on its brown zigzag pattern. It had risen half up, almost as if it was going to strike, but he could tell it was not hostile. 

"S'okay," he called back to Ron. _"Hello,"_ he said to the adder.

_"Hello."_ The snake sounded amused. She — Harry decided it was a female — settled slightly as Harry squatted down so they could eye each other more easily. _"How can you speak, when even those creatures cannot?"_

Harry shrugged. _"I just can. Occasionally, a wizard can. Other wizards think it's bad."_

The adder hissed and twisted angrily about herself. _"And break our nests and kill our babies!"_

_"Yeah, probably those ones,"_ Harry agreed. _"I wouldn't."_ He decided not to say that he had killed the very big snake in the castle. He wasn't sure how that would go over. 

"Harry!" Hagrid said urgently.

"It's okay. She's not upset at me."

"We got other kids comin', now, Harry. Yeh should stop." 

"Oh." Harry frowned at the snake. _"I can't talk to you any more, now. Other people are coming. Later?"_

_"These people are bad?"_

_"These people would be frightened. You have poison, you know."_

The adder hissed. _"It would not help against one your size."_

_"It kills one of us occasionally, though not fast. They need to look at the Wyverns, and they need to feel safe, for that."_ ("Wyverns," Harry noticed, came out more like "snake-birds".) Harry nodded at the adder. _"Be safe."_

_"Thank you, speaking man. Good hunting."_ The adder dropped down and slithered off into some bushes. Harry saw Hagrid's eyes following it, and reminded himself to tell Hagrid, later, that the adder and its home were not to be harmed.

 

The rest of the class arrived in a clump. The Slytherins looked rather sedated. There were two Slytherins in this class, Blaise Zabini and Radiana Nott, a girl Harry had seen before, but never before caught the name of. Harry wondered how she was related to the Death Eater Nott. He thought about Sirius's family, and decided not to make assumptions about her. 

For today, they were merely observing the Wyverns. The class, after all of Harry's worry, passed without the need for his intervention. He found himself recalling what he had said to Hermione about how they didn't need her to keep them out of trouble. Hagrid did have a couple backup vials of Calming Draught, which he used when Parvati and Susan Bones began to fight. During the note-taking section, Harry managed to get Hagrid's assurances that he wouldn't hurt the adders. When class was over, Harry walked back to the castle alongside Ron, which made him feel curiously wistful.

"Have that fight soon?" he suggested. 

Ron shrugged. The potion, Harry guessed, had largely worn off.

"Well, see you around," Harry said awkwardly. He increased his pace, overtaking the other students, and headed up to Gryffindor to get his books. He decided he would be studying in the library, for a few hours. He groaned at the thought of Ron's shrug, and wondered if a few days would be better. 

 

That evening, Harry slipped into Snape's office. Snape looked at him questioningly as he closed the door. 

"I thought it was two days until our next meeting." 

Harry cast a silencing spell on the door, then turned back to his father. "It was. And I shouldn't stay long, tonight. I just wanted to tell you about my day before someone else did." 

Snape leaned his head against one hand, a single finger extended to his temple. "Just what I wanted to hear," he said sarcastically.

"Ron and I had a fight this morning," Harry said quickly, "outside Defense, and Professor Lupin showed up just when we'd pulled wands on each other."

Snape looked at him incredulously. "You were intending to hex Weasley?"

"No, I just ... It's a reflex. Someone tries to hit me; I get my wand out. It just happened."

"A useful reflex. I may even approve. Why did he try to hit you?"

"For defending Malfoy."

"For _what_?" Snape shrieked. Harry was glad he'd put up the silencing spell. 

"Ron was just after him for no reason. And I'm trying to get a truce with him."

Snape stared for a moment, then waved off the matter as inconsequential. "Perhaps we should save the tangled workings of your Gryffindor mind for a longer evening. So Lupin will come and tell me you were fighting in the halls. Anything else?"

"Well, we were going to the Wyvern class angry at each other. So I gave Ron some of the pink bubble stuff."

"That? Are you insane? What did he do?"

"Oh, not as bubbles. To drink. Well, once as bubbles to get him to drink it. He was obviously a little sedated, but about a third of the class was, so you might never have heard about that. I just thought you should know." 

Snape studied him for a long time. 

"Very well," he said finally. "Thank you for telling me. Now, you should probably go."

Harry nodded. "Yeah. Hermione and Ron are getting a bit suspicious." He hesitated. "Er... good night."

"Good night, Harry," Snape returned. He sounded almost affectionate, Harry thought. "We can talk more on Wednesday." He waved a hand at Harry in a shooing motion. "Now go back to Gryffindor tower and challenge people to duels, or whatever your sort does." 

"My sort?" Harry asked in mock indignation. 

"Senseless Gryffindor brats." 

"Oh, that sort." Harry removed the spell on the door and opened it, but turned in the doorway. "We do homework, mostly," he said.

"Out, Potter!" Snape bellowed suddenly. "I am not interested in why you cannot understand hex absorption in asafoetida! We have a room called a _library_. Perhaps Miss Granger can show you how to find it." 

"Oh yeah, she's mentioned that library thing," Harry returned. Snape grinned at him as he tossed an ink bottle in the air and caught it, and Harry ducked out of the doorway in time to avoid being hit by the hurled bottle. It broke on the stones, spattering red ink in a loose V that spanned the corridor. Harry sniggered and jogged cheerily back to the stairs. 

_All that drama and no audience. A pity, really._

 

Hermione crossed the common room and stood near Ron, who was studying with unusual concentration. 

"Ron?" she asked timidly. At a grunt from Ron, she asked "Do you know where Harry is?"

"I don't know, and I don't care."

"Well, I care. Please?" 

Ron looked up. "Look," he said, "what do you expect me to do? Harry disappears. Often. As far as I know, he's off courting Malfoy."

Hermione coughed. "That hardly seems likely."

"Giving people potions he doesn't know anything about, then. Chatting up poisonous snakes. Whatever it is Harry does." 

"Ron?"

"What?"

"Care to explain any of that?"

Ron sighed. He rested his chin on his hands and looked morosely at the table next to his parchment. 

"Well, he took me outside before the Wyvern class, and he gave me a potion."

"Go on." 

"He said it was like a mild Calming Draught. It was — just a bit more pleasant. But while we were observing, when it was just starting to wear off, I asked him if it was safe, and he shrugged and said 'hasn't done me any harm.' So I pressed him on it, and he doesn't know exactly what this stuff is — he just lifted it, one day, when he was working for Snape." 

Hermione thought about this for a while. She looked increasingly displeased.

"If I report him," she asked cautiously, "will you be mad at me?"

"Yes. And I'll deny everything I just told you." 

Hermione sighed. "Well, then. And the snakes?"

Ron shrugged. "He was talking to an adder, before class. No big deal, I suppose, just kind of creepy." Ron slouched down in the chair, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Damn, I wish we had the Marauders' Map, still."

Hermione nodded. "I'd like to know where he is, too."

"And who he's with," Ron added. "I mean, not... You know."

"Yeah." Hermione sat down next to him. She frowned thoughtfully off into the air. "You know ... Professor Lupin's back."

"I doubt he'd make us a new one. If he did, he'd give it to Harry, not us." 

Hermione shook her head. "He wouldn't make one." She smiled. "But I bet he'd tell us how they did it!" She jumped up. "Come on. Let's go see Moony!"

Ron started to get to his feet, then shook his head. "Behind you!" he whispered. 

Hermione turned. Harry was coming across the room, headed straight for them. He was holding a small basket.

"Hi!" he said, when he reached them. Ron bent over his homework. "I brought creampuffs," Harry said coaxingly. "And butterbeer."

"Ooo!" Hermione squealed. She took a creampuff.

"Here, Hermione, pass Ron one, will you?" Harry said. "He might take it that way."

Ron glared briefly at Harry, then returned to his work, but his concentration wavered noticeably when Hermione put a creampuff on a napkin and placed it next to his parchment. 

Harry sighed and sat down. "Do all best friends take this much work?" he asked. "Or is it just us?"

Ron let out a bark of laughter and looked up. "Just us," he said. "We're impossible, all three of us." 

"Huh. Good thing we're not torturing anyone normal then," Harry observed.

"We still need to have that fight," Ron warned. "I'm only delaying it so I can eat this creampuff and write my Transfiguration essay."

"Morphological facility," Harry said.

"Huh?"

"Use the phrase 'morphological facility' somewhere in your essay. I'm trying to get everyone in the class to do it. It will drive her crazy, trying to figure out where we all read that." 

Hermione giggled.

 


	35. Werewolf's Honor

 

The next day, Professor Lupin caught Harry in the corridor as he was leaving Transfiguration.

"Mr. Potter," he said formally, "I'd like you to come to my office, directly after classes, if you can." 

"Sure," Harry agreed. He looked nervously at Lupin, who was currently very much the professor in both voice and bearing. "Er ... about yesterday?"

"In part. I also thought it was time we had a meeting about your independent study. I've been working on a reading list for you."

"Oh. Okay. I'll be there when your class gets out."

 

Harry finished Wednesday's Potions homework during his free afternoon time. After a short, fruitless attempt to find a library reference for Wyverns understanding Parseltongue, he left for the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. He only had to wait a short while. Eventually, the door opened and a horde of Hufflepuff and Gryffindor second years came out. Teresa paused to call over a shy, "hi, Harry," which Harry returned with a wave. 

"Hi, Teresa. See you tomorrow!" 

"Tomorrow?" Lupin questioned, as Harry entered the now-empty classroom. 

"She's on the Quidditch team. We have a short afternoon practice. It's really just an intro, to make the new kids comfortable. I'll be working them for real, Friday night." He grinned. "By next Monday, she'll hate me." 

Lupin smiled back and led Harry through the classroom and back into his office. "Have a seat," he said, gesturing at the couch. Harry sat, and Lupin brought them tea and wholemeal biscuits, with and without chocolate. He fetched a parchment from his desk. 

"Here is a list of books that might interest you, Harry. I'm not expecting you to read all of them, but I'd like you to find them all, look them over, and pick four or five. From that, we can work out a research project or two. If you're interested, we could also work in some analysis of current events."

"Like the werewolves?" Harry asked curiously. 

Lupin, to Harry's surprise, visibly tensed. "I might have difficulty with maintaining objectivity," he said lightly. "If you want to cover current werewolf issues, you should do it for someone else — Dumbledore, perhaps — and use me as a source, only."

"All right." 

Lupin sighed and looked down at his teacup. He rotated it ninety degrees in its saucer, then back again. "Harry ... why were you fighting with Ron?"

Harry sighed. 

"Ron went after Malfoy — just verbally, you know, but there was no reason for it. He was just walking to class, like I was. So I told Ron to back down, and he got upset. Malfoy had to throw fuel on the fire by calling me "Harry" as he left, and Ron flipped out about it. I had to sit on him to keep him from charging after Malfoy. Then when he got up, he wanted my assurances I wouldn't let Malfoy do it again. I said I'd rather call him Draco and see what he did, and Ron _attacked_ me. I hadn't pulled out my wand to hex him, really — it's just a reflex to pull my wand out, when someone tries to punch me." 

Lupin closed his eyes. Harry could see him pushing down a tangled complexity of emotions. Was he thinking of James and Sirius, of Severus, of himself? Finally, he opened his eyes and his expression settled into a slight frown. 

"I can see where you might have such a reflex, Harry, but you should understand that it is not always the safest thing to do." The tone was academic, official, an adult's lecture. Harry fumed. "There are times and places where drawing your wand may get you killed or arrested, while ducking a punch, or even taking it, will get you through danger quickly, and may give you a legal advantage." 

Harry glowered. "I understand all about protective submission, Remus. I've also had enough of it. I won't take attacks from Ron." 

"Forget Ron!" Lupin snapped. "If you pulled your wand in the corridors of the Ministry building, you could legally be killed by any Auror in sight. Not doing it here, where it is also a rule infraction, is good practice in control."

"I can do it when I need to. I will not do it for Ron," Harry repeated stubbornly.

Lupin made a sound that was half-sigh, half-growl. "I'd have some hope you'd improve, if Severus wasn't just as much a prideful, pigheaded idiot as James."

Harry chuckled. He was relieved they were back on personal ground. "I'm doomed," he said lightly. 

For a moment, they were both silent. Harry suspected Remus was trying to decide whether or not to push the issue. "Look," Harry said, forestalling any further comments, "would you do me a favor?"

Lupin raised an eyebrow at him. "Perhaps. What favor?"

"Would you let me pair with Malfoy, in class? I'm trying to truce with him, and we seem not to be at each other's throats, any more. It's painfully obvious you don't trust us together, and I'd like to give it a try."

 

They were talking comfortably about Malfoy, Ron, and the art of pairing students for dueling when Lupin glanced at the wall clock and twitched. He shifted in his seat. 

"It's pleasant to talk with you, Harry, and I would love to continue this, but I have a visitor arriving at the hour. Perhaps we could meet for tea, this weekend?"

"All right." Harry frowned as Lupin stood. It was still fifteen minutes before six. "Can't I stay until he gets here?"

"I'm afraid not." Lupin's face was drawn with anxiety, though his smile remained pleasant. "Please understand, Harry — there are some people I would rather you not meet."

"Oh." Harry tried to puzzle that out. Remus had a lover, perhaps? 

"Go along, now," Lupin said, urging him toward the door. "We've plenty of time to talk, later." 

In the doorway, Harry hesitated again. A flash of anger crossed Lupin's face. 

"Harry, I have asked you politely, several times, to leave my rooms. I do not owe you an explanation. Go!" 

Harry left. 

Once he was safely around the corner, Harry stopped and thought. A visitor for Remus would be coming either from the Entrance Hall or from Dumbledore's office. If he went back past Remus's office and waited around the corner, he might be able to catch a glimpse of Remus's visitor. Of course, if he went back past Remus's office, Remus would notice. 

After some deliberation, Harry went up a floor, to the other end of the corridor, and down again. He crept to the corner and peered around. He wished he had his invisibility cloak, or even a Muggle toy periscope. The thought gave him an idea. He took his smallest book and transfigured it into a smaller mirror, then carefully floated that out into the corridor, near the knees of a suit of armor. With the dim light, here, it was unlikely to be noticed. He positioned the mirror until he could see the hallway outside Remus's door in it. He waited. 

 

It was more than five minutes later, but still, Harry estimated, short of six, when a stranger came into the hallway. She was a young woman, perhaps in her mid-twenties, with short, light brown hair. She knocked lightly at Remus's door. 

"Selena," he greeted her, "please come in."

Lupin's tone was warm, but Harry noticed the sparseness of the greeting. He did not say, "a pleasure to see you," or "welcome," or even "hello." Harry wondered what kind of terms the two were on. 

After giving them a moment to get talking, Harry decided to try and hear a bit of their conversation. He started towards the door, then stopped. He was aware that a werewolf's hearing was sharper than a normal human's. He could walk more quietly with his shoes off, but what if someone saw him? He would be obviously sneaking around. Harry looked at the door, halfway down the hall, then listened a moment to the late afternoon silence. Finally, he took off his shoes and walked towards the door. 

Once there, he could hear nothing. Not nothing intelligible, but nothing at all. Either the door was magically warded, or Remus had taken the woman back into his private rooms. Frowning, Harry walked to the staircase and put his shoes back on. Perhaps he could coax information out of Remus over the weekend.

 

**********

 

Hermione was working on her Arithmancy homework when Ron came up behind her chair and leaned close to her ear. 

"This a good time?" he asked.

"Gah!" Hermione dumped her book on the floor as she attempted to jump from a sitting position. 

"Sorry," Ron said unconvincingly. "I thought you'd heard me." 

"Like I'd believe that. Ouch. My toe hurts where that book hit it." Hermione glared at him. "A good time for what?"

"Talking to Professor Lupin."

"Oh!" Hermione's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, of course. Let me just pile this stuff and move it, so someone else can sit here while I'm gone...." 

"Hey!" Ginny called over, as Hermione stood up. 

"What?"

"I was sketching you." 

Hermione glanced at Ginny, who was sitting by the windows with a tablet on her raised knees. 

"Sorry," she said. "I'm sure I'll be in the same position later." 

"Probably," Ginny agreed. "Oh well — I'll do Dean, then. He won't dare move." 

 

Hermione and Ron climbed through the portrait hole and headed down the stairs. Halfway down, they heard the sound of someone coming up. Ron peered down a level and stepped back. 

"It's Harry," he whispered, as he took Hermione's arm and steered her back up to the next landing, and from there into a small room. 

"So?"

"So, we don't want him to know what we're doing, right?"

They waited for the footsteps to near, then pass. When all had been quiet for a while, they reemerged and continued down to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. 

 

The door, to their surprise, was closed. Hermione knocked. When there was no answer, she knocked again. They waited a minute, and were just about to leave when the door opened. Lupin was standing there, rather red in the face, with a scowling young woman behind him. 

"Ron, Hermione!" he exclaimed. "How pleasant. Please come in — Miss Forest was just leaving."

The scowling woman put on a superficial smile. Even that made her quite pretty, Hermione decided. Her short hair was worn in an easy-care Muggle style, and her robes a sedate medium blue that set off her golden-brown hair nicely. 

"But surely you'll introduce me, Remus," she said chidingly. 

Lupin did not look pleased. "Selena," he said politely, "this is Miss Granger, a Muggle-born student, and her friend, Mr. Weasley, the sixth son of a minor official of the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts department." Hermione could see Ron building up a head of steam at that. She was not pleased with being introduced by her parentage, either. "Neither of them is of any use to you," Lupin concluded firmly. "Children, this is Miss Forest." 

"But the Weasleys are friendly with Harry Potter, are they not?" Selena asked, extending her hand to Ron. Lupin caught at her wrist.

"You are welcome to speak to _me,_ Selena," Remus said harshly. "That welcome does not extend to my pupils. Go, or I will tell Albus Dumbledore that you have overstepped your bounds."

"I am a grown woman, Remus. I do not answer to professors, nor to eccentric, ineffective bumblers of any sort."

Lupin's eyes narrowed. "Now," he said angrily.

Selena sniffed. "I'm going. I liked you better as a free agent, Remus. That conniving old man hasn't done you any good." With that, she left. 

Lupin leaned against the door frame. He looked exhausted. "I apologize for that terrible introduction," he said sincerely, "but she is _not_ someone you want to take notice of you. The more inconsequential she believes you to be, the better." 

"Should we leave, Professor?" Hermione asked. "Do you need to follow her?

Lupin shook his head. "No. There were conditions on her entrance here, and now that she is out of my room, she will be compelled to walk straight to the gates." He straightened, teetering slightly. "Come in."

 "Is it near the full moon, sir?" Ron asked cautiously. 

Lupin shook his head. "Do I look that bad? No, it's the dark of the moon tomorrow. I just need some sleep. Please sit down." 

When they were settled on the couch, Lupin collapsed immediately into the chair. He did not offer them anything, nor even clear away the remains of a recent tea. "Pardon the mess," he said. "I haven't had a moment since classes started this morning, but I don't mind _you_ , if you can stand me on family manners. What can I do for you?"

"Well...." Hermione looked at Ron. He looked back at her. 

"We were wondering about the Marauder's Map," Hermione said hurriedly.

"How it was made, and that sort of thing," Ron added helpfully. Hermione shot him a glare. She was hoping to have some information out of Lupin before they got to questions he might feel obligated to refuse to answer. 

Lupin shook his head and laughed softly. 

"Ah, even you won't be easy, today, will you? Harry wasn't either."

"Professor Lupin," Hermione said formally. "We realize we can't expect you to make another one --"

"I _could_ not make another one," Lupin interrupted. "It was very complex and time-consuming magic. Two people are needed at minimum. It took the four of us over a month, and I don't think we could have finished without Peter." Pain tightened his face at the memory of the fourth Marauder. Hermione thought that his betrayal must be worse than the deaths, in some ways. 

"But we could make one?" Ron asked eagerly.

Lupin sighed. "I am not surprised that you miss the map, however, I know just how useful that map is, and how we tended to use it."

"But you wouldn't have found out about Peter without it," Hermione pressed, though she felt guilty at using what was obviously a painful memory. "You might never have discovered Sirius's innocence. And we don't cause much trouble, really."

"Hermione, I am a professor, here," Lupin said reasonably. "I cannot tutor you through making a device optimized for the breaking of rules." 

"Could you give us any information, though? Research hints? It would be a good project for us, wouldn't it?"

Lupin rose wearily to his feet. "I will give you a pass to the restricted section," he said firmly. "That is all." 

Hermione nodded glumly as she watched Lupin write out the pass. Any of her professors would have given her that, except possibly Snape. Still, she thanked Professor Lupin kindly for the folded strip of paper he pressed into her hand, and she and Ron left promptly, as the professor appeared to be in need of a nap before dinner.

"What now?" Ron asked glumly, when they were a decent distance from Lupin's door.

"Now we go to the library," Hermione said firmly.

"Before dinner?"

"It will give us some time to narrow down our search."

"We don't even know what we're looking for!" Ron complained. 

"Of course we do," Hermione retorted, with more confidence than she felt. "A Mapping Charm. A spell to identify people. A Writing Charm. If the Marauders could do it, so can we."

"I dunno," Ron said. "With Harry, I might agree, but without.... And what was that thing about Peter? It never sounded like he was all that useful, before." 

"I don't know," Hermione admitted. 

At the door to the library, she stopped to survey the note. Her eyes widened. "Oh my!" she whispered. 

"What?"

Hermione threw her arms around Ron in sheer delight. "Moony gets thank yous and chocolate and .... oh! Look!" She showed him Lupin's note. It was _not_ a general pass to the restricted section. It was a pass allowing her to borrow three specific books. 

Ron blinked for a moment. 

"But this only — oh!" He got it too. His eyes widened. "After all those protests...!" 

Hermione grinned. "Plenty of time before dinner!" 

**********

 

"Harry?" 

Harry looked up at the unfamiliar voice. Zoë, he realized. 

"Hi, Zoë," he said. 

"Are you going to dinner? Most people have left." 

Harry looked around. He hadn't noticed the common room slowly emptying, but yes, he and Zoë were now the only people in it. 

"Wow," he said. "I guess I was sort of lost in my work." 

He knew he had done that intentionally. He had wanted to find Ron or Hermione, or both, and when he could not, set himself to thinking about his Defense essay instead. He realized he still hadn't answered Zoë, and nodded. 

"Yes, I do want dinner. Will you wait while I pack this stuff up?"

"No problem!" Zoë said brightly. 

 

They walked cheerfully down the stairs together all the way to the ground floor, discussing combat use of hexes. Outside the Great Hall, Harry turned at a flicker of motion, and saw Snape advancing on them from the shadows, in full, intimidating stalk, with his black robes billowing about him. He felt, rather than saw, Zoë's sudden tension. 

"Potter," Snape spat, from far too close. 

Harry froze. He would have liked to say it was good acting, but really, he knew it he did it out of habit, or possibly just from Snape's skill at projecting menace. 

"Yes, sir?"

"I am warning you, Potter," Snape whispered threateningly, "that you had better be in your own room tonight — there are werewolves about." The whisper dropped, but lost no malice to add:

"Your father would want you in sight." 

Snape stepped back, pivoted with an intensity that brushed the hem of his robes across the back of Harry's knees, and strode into the Great Hall. 

 


	36. Transitive Enmity

 

Harry waited nervously at the door to Snape's rooms. He hoped Severus would answer before one of the Slytherins wandered by and saw him (or, rather, his floating head) here. When the door opened, Snape looked at him with an impressively blank expression, considering Harry's appearance, or lack thereof. He stepped to the side and let Harry in.

"I did get your message right?" Harry asked, as Snape closed the door. 

"Yes." Snape's face relaxed and he closed his eyes for a moment. Harry thought he looked as tired as Lupin. "I'm glad you came. Did anyone see you?"

"I wore the cloak." That, Harry thought, was rather obvious, as he was still wearing it, mostly. He swung it off and put down his bag. 

"Came prepared?" Snape said, with some amusement.

"I wasn't sure, from what you said, what you wanted me here for, or for how long, so I thought I'd bring my schoolwork." 

"Good. Leave it for the moment." Snape walked over to the fire. "I ... I'm having a drink. Would you like anything?"

"Hot chocolate?"

Snape turned around and slowly smiled. "With almond liqueur?" he asked archly.

"Please," Harry said. He almost laughed, remembering how abruptly that promised beverage had been replaced by gruel and white rice. 

"Very well." Snape relayed the request down to the kitchens, then walked over to the cabinet and poured himself some wine. "You do realize," he said dryly, "that the overall alcohol content will be low — perhaps a little more than two butterbeers." 

Harry shrugged. "So it may actually taste as good as it sounds like it should." 

"Hmm." Snape sat down by the fire. "Yes, I'd forgotten how strong that taste seems." He looked grimly at Harry. "So." 

"So?" Harry asked. 

Snape grimaced. "We're back to —" He took a deep breath and started again. "Lupin had a visitor today."

"I saw. Small, pretty woman, light brown hair.... He made me leave, but he wouldn't say why." 

"She saw you?" Snape sounded horrified. 

"No, he made me leave before."

"So you spied on him?" Snape asked sharply. 

"Well, yes. Wouldn't you?"

Snape ignored the question. "I saw this woman as she was leaving. I have met her before." Snape caught Harry's gaze and made certain he had his complete attention before continuing. 

"She was part of Randolph's delegation to the Dark Lord."

Harry sat silent, shocked at this revelation. He knew, of course, that Voldemort had some sort of alliance with the WFU werewolves, a fact he had conveniently forgotten when approving of their tactics. That he had been carelessly spying on one of Voldemort's allies brought the matter into sharper focus. 

His father was watching him with steady interest that was starting to border on disdain. Harry tried to pull himself together enough to ask an intelligent question.

"Do the werewolves take orders from him?"

Snape smirked. "They don't think so. They will learn their error the first time they try to part ways." 

Harry's hot chocolate appeared on the table next to Snape. He pushed it over to Harry. The spiraled pile of whipped cream on it tilted precariously, and Harry slurped the top off of it to keep it from falling. Snape winced. 

"Sorry. Was that rude?"

"No," Snape said dryly. "That was indecent. Please try to avoid that until you intend the image." 

Harry stared at him. Snape waved the matter away as inconsequential. "We were talking about werewolves." 

"Werewolves who work with the Dark Lord." 

"In part." A bitter look crossed Snape's face. "I'm putting you under restrictions, again."

"What?"

"I don't know how Lupin is involved with Miss Forest, or what influence she might have with him, or over him. It is clear he is in some sort of negotiations with Randolph's organization. It is also clear that the thing at Hogwarts they would most want is you." 

"Me?" Harry wasn't sure he followed that last claim. He tried the hot chocolate. It had a slight taste of alcohol, but was delicious, anyway. The almond flavor was stronger.

"You, Harry. The ultimate treaty price to Voldemort."

"Remus wouldn't give me to them." 

"He might not have a choice." Snape scowled. "Or he might not make his choice in time. Or it might not be you." He straightened. "So, again, you will not be alone with him unless I know the time and place. Schedule your meetings with a classmate, or tell me about them, and let him know you have told me. Is that clear?"

"Quite," Harry answered coldly.

"Harry, please."

Harry was startled by the desperation in Severus's voice. He thought the restriction through. "I don't think it's necessary."

"If he is under some coercion, he may be grateful for the excuse." Snape scowled. "I, you understand, am magically prevented from causing physical harm to a pupil at this school." His face hardened with distaste. "I begged the headmaster for this curse. It saves me from undue expectations on the part of my lord." 

Harry, reluctantly, understood. "I'll let him know."

"Thank you." 

The unaccustomed words came awkwardly from Snape's tongue. His skin darkened with blood. Harry looked down, to give him time to recover, and sipped his hot chocolate. 

"Now that we have more time," Snape said finally, "explain this situation with Mr. Weasley and Draco."

Harry told Snape about Ron's verbal attack on Draco, and his own intervention, and how Ron had said his hair looked like Snape's. 

"That's not so bad, though. I mean, he _said_ it, but I think he just thought he was making it up. The problem is Malfoy. He actually _looked_. I think Malfoy thinks I'm _trying_ to look like you, though, because he warned me I couldn't really carry it off."

Snape snorted with amusement.

"Ron might have dealt with all that, but when Malfoy walked off, he decided to get cheeky and call me Harry, and then Ron flipped. We still need to sit down and fight, I think. We talked about it a bit when he was on the bubble stuff, and that may have helped, but now he's upset about the bubble stuff, itself, so I think it's a wash." He scowled. "Which is unfortunate, because I was figuring I'd use that when I told them."

"Perhaps," Snape said acidly, "if you told him what it was and _asked_ him, rather than simply subjecting him to it, as I imagine you did...."

"Saying what? 'Ron I'm going to really upset you in the next few minutes -- could you please take some of this stuff that will make you calmer before I start?'"

"Something like that, yes. Or if that's too _honest_ for you —" Snape paused, Harry imagined to give him time to appreciate the irony of Snape, Death Eater spy and the Head of Slytherin, lecturing him on honesty -- "Would you like more of this? Oh, incidentally, have I mentioned Professor Snape is my father?" 

Harry choked on his hot chocolate, but managed not to spray much of it.

"I have a _little_ more subtlety than that!" he exclaimed. 

"Rather a hard subject to lead into, though, isn't it?"

"I'll start with confessing that I lied about why I asked about the Paternity Charm. That will at least give him a minute's warning while he mentally catalogs every male over the age of thirty that he knows." 

"Thirty?" Snape said incredulously. 

"All right. Thirty-two. How's that?"

"A bit better." Snape frowned at him. "Remember, it would need to be someone your mother was willing to have sex with, not just someone physically capable of the act."

Harry shrugged. "She wouldn't have to be willing."

Snape now looked more amused than annoyed. "So we are now postulating — excuse me, Weasley is postulating -- either a thirteen-year-old rapist, or that your mother liked--?"

"Fourteen," Harry interrupted, heating. "Sixteen, because I already changed —" 

"Harry, your age is measured from birth, not conception."

Harry's eyes widened. "Oops. Um — thirty-three, then? That would make it sixteen. Anyway, he won't do all this math."

"No more than you did." Snape smirked. "Typical shoddy reasoning."

"So," Harry plowed on quickly, "he'll be thinking through all the vaguely old-enough men who might have known my mother —"

"Intimately."

"Will you stop being vulgar?"

"Probably not."

"Whatever! It will give him a moment to know it's got to be _somebody_ \--"

"Ah. I always wanted to be somebody." 

Harry stopped, stared at him for a moment, then suddenly laughed. He was surprised to hear his father laugh as well. Severus looked at him afterwards, smiling. It pulled his face in unaccustomed directions. Harry wondered when the anger had etched into his face, and what he had looked like before that, when he smiled like this.

The look faded slowly. Snape picked up his wine and swirled it absently. "I had forgotten it could be fun," he commented quietly, "having someone to talk to, that is. And I take back anything I said about you being an idiot. You are quite often a fool, but a sufficiently intelligent one for good conversation."

"Hmph!" Harry pouted briefly, but Snape ignored it, in favor of finishing his wine. "If you were anyone else," Harry conceded, "I'd be insulted, but considering what you usually say about me, I'll take that as extravagant flattery." 

"Good." Snape went to the cabinet to refill his glass. "Perhaps you can acquire some sense, after all." Harry watched him pour the wine with the same precision that he poured dragon's blood. Harry suspected that he always added exactly the same amount to his glass, without any conscious effort. 

"This isn't really working, you know, with Ron and Hermione," Harry volunteered. "They suspect something, and eventually, they'll hit on the right thing. And I hate keeping secrets from them." 

"Is there some way you could mislead them?"

"Hm...." Harry pretended to consider the matter. "I could take up smoking again," he offered. "It would give me an excuse to sneak off and lie to her, and she'd suss it in days." 

Snape gave him a withering look as he returned with the wine and sat down again. "I'm afraid the closest you'll find in Hogsmeade is a pipe mixture with some tobacco in it, and no one at that apothecary would actually sell such a thing to an underage wizard."

"Ah-ha! So wizards _do_ smoke tobacco."

"Occasionally. Coltsfoot and marshmallow are more common, and all are usually smoked as part of a mixture with some magical properties — a type of potion, in a way. To have it habitually is extremely vulgar, and more common among certain of the non-humans." 

"But you don't disapprove _just_ because it's a Muggle thing."

"No." Snape considered. "Though these disposable means of smoking — the cigarettes, for example — those _are_ a Muggle thing, and that bothers me separately from the component plant, which you are having _just_ as a drug. It's like watching you drink distilled spirits straight from the bottle."

"So I can't ask Fred and George to send me some?" Harry teased.

" _No._ " 

"Oh, all right. Any other ideas?"

"You know them much better than I do." Snape looked intently at his hands for a moment, and sighed. "Let's start with current status. Details, please, on everything Weasley and Draco said about you looking like me."

 


	37. Relationships

 

Harry woke earlier than usual the next morning. He was too thirsty to get back to sleep, so he dressed quickly, with the intention of heading down to breakfast. 

"Harry?" Ron said blearily from the next bed.

"Hi."

"You just get in?"

"No, I just woke up." 

"Oh. Later, then." Ron yawned and fell back to sleep. 

Ron had been asleep when he got back, Harry reflected, as he started down the stairs. Snape had noticed the time long past curfew, and insisted on accompanying Harry back to the tower, ostensibly to protect him from punishment. Harry could not decide if this was unexpectedly kind, or merely patronizing. Snape had made light of the matter. 

"Knowing you," he had said mockingly, "you would stumble across some previously undetected manticore and arouse it from a thousand-year nap. After several student maulings, months of terror, and untold thousands of galleons of property damage, you would slay it gloriously, and Gryffindor would win the House Cup. I'd rather walk you back. I'm usually out terrorizing the careless at this hour, in any case. Near Gryffindor seems a good place to start." 

Harry had a few handfuls of water from the tap, and went down to breakfast. He paused at the Gryffindor table, surveying the students present. It was an entirely different group from the one he usually ate breakfast with. _This must be the early shift,_ he thought.

This group did not seem to be especially talkative. Harry found himself at Potions class early, again. Malfoy was already there, and seated. Harry felt a smile pulling at his face. 

"Good morning, Draco," he said casually, in passing. Malfoy twitched. Harry grinned. _Call me Harry, will he?_

Malfoy came up beside Harry as Harry was unpacking needed items from his bag.

"Are you being impertinent, Potter?"

Harry blinked innocently at him. "You called me Harry on Monday, remember?" He grinned. "Caused me a lot of trouble, too. Ron's still mad at me." 

Malfoy smirked. "I have to wonder about your behavior, Potter. Having regrets?"

Harry thought Malfoy probably meant regrets about choosing Ron over him. He set his quill, ink, and parchment on the table while he got his thoughts in order.

"I don't regret staying friends with Ron," he said seriously. "He's really a very good friend, most of the time. I'm sorry you and I ended up enemies. It wasn't really a necessary side-effect. If either of us had had the slightest bit of tact...." Harry let the sentence trail off. Malfoy snorted. 

"We were eleven. What would we have been doing with tact?" He looked searchingly at Harry for a moment, then frowned. "However foolishly this may have started, Potter, you put my father in Azkaban. I don't precisely feel friendly towards you. Please return to using my surname." 

With that rather formal request, he turned quickly and went back to his desk. For a moment, Harry was too indignant to do anything but stare after him. Suddenly, he found himself on his feet, and a moment later he was leaning forward over Malfoy's table whispering furiously:

"I did? _I_ did? It was your father's master who put images in my head to lure me there and sent your father and his lot to ambush me. Is it _my_ fault he underestimated my backup? Again? All I did was try to not die! I wasn't even _there_ when your father was captured — I was chasing Lestrange." 

"It's easy for you to say," Malfoy spat back. His pale cheeks were spotted with pink. "Whatever you get into, you always get out of. Always."

"My godfather _died_ in that fight, Draco! And that was my fault. And I loved him! There's no way to get him back, now — no breakout, no deal, no pardon can bring him back to me!"

Harry stopped, panting. He'd said "Draco" again, he realized. 

"Sorry, Malfoy." 

Malfoy was staring at him, brows drawn. 

"No one died in that fight." 

"We were in the Department of Mysteries. There wasn't a body."

"Wouldn't someone have said something? Wouldn't he have been reported missing, at some point? This mysterious godfather of yours?"

"Sirius Black." Harry wished he felt well enough to appreciate the shock on Malfoy's face. "He'd been missing a long time."

"You were in touch with Black?" At Harry's small nod, Malfoy's eyes widened yet further. "A Muggle-killer? Who betrayed your parents?"

"He did not!" Harry stopped to steady his breathing. He wondered how best to explain Sirius to Malfoy. He couldn't say anything that would implicate Professor Dumbledore, or Remus. 

He had barely registered the approaching footsteps before a mass of black swirled through the doorway, and the Potions master stalked past them.

"Mr. Potter," came his biting voice. "When I arrive, you are to be at your seat, not harassing better pupils. Ten points from Gryffindor." 

Harry darted to his seat. Fortunately, his supplies were all ready, so Snape could not dock him more points for needing to set up. A minute later, he had no worry to spare for anything but the safe handling of Lobalug venom. 

 

Malfoy caught Harry up on the way to Defense Against the Dark Arts. 

"Hang back a bit, Potter." 

Harry slowed down and let their classmates get ahead of him. Malfoy walked beside him. 

"You knew Sirius Black?"

"A bit. We met the year he escaped. I stayed with him for a few weeks, last winter."

"Where?"

"Some family property. I don't know where — we portkeyed, and he wouldn't let me leave. Safer all around _._ " 

"What makes you think he was innocent? I mean, other than that he didn't kill you. He could have other reasons not to."

"Ever heard of Wormtail?"

Malfoy was silent for a minute. Harry suspected he was trying to decide how much of an answer was prudent. 

"I've heard of someone with that name."

"Yes — that one. His real name is Peter Pettigrew. He's the wizard that Sirius supposedly killed. Peter caused the explosion and killed all those Muggles to escape Sirius, after he — Peter -- betrayed my parents." 

They were climbing slowly up the stairs. Harry looked over at Malfoy's uncertain expression and snorted. "Really — don't your parents tell you anything? It was your father who realized Sirius was back, and your mother who figured out how to use him as bait for me." Harry felt a quick rise of hatred at the thought. He worked at holding it in its proper place. "To be honest," he said, as calmly as possible, "I hate both your parents. They've both messed up my life — mine personally — in big ways, and I could never forgive your father for what he did to Ginny." 

Malfoy's jaw was clamped tight, but he hadn't started yelling, yet. Harry figured that was as good as he could expect. 

"I'm willing to not hold them against you," he said, "and I can even accept that you care about them. They're your family, after all. But I could never be less than glad that your father got caught."

"Potter, give me any more of your opinion and I'll blast you into the wall."

"I'm finished." 

"Good." Malfoy quickened his pace. Harry let him gain some distance before starting to move again. Today, he reflected, probably wasn't the day to try pairing with Malfoy in Defense Against the Dark Arts. 

 

**********

 

Hermione sighed and looked again at the note from Ron. 

> _Hermione,_
> 
> _Walk after classes? I'll meet you in the trophy room._
> 
> _Ron_

They had taken advantage of Harry's absence the night before, as unwelcome as it was, to start on the map. It required a potion, but a very simple one that Hermione had made in forty minutes from ingredients in the student store cupboards. That was good, because they were going to need a lot of it. 

The procedure, as Hermione deduced it from spells in the two of the three books, was simple, but time consuming. They needed to walk through all the areas they wanted to map, while carrying the potion, which, when a little common mugwort was crumbled into it, bubbled and gave off slightly fragrant fumes for several minutes. The fumes seemed to be important to determining the dimensions of the room — Hermione suspected that large rooms would require them to walk back and forth a bit. The trophy room would be a good place to test that. While one person carried the potion, the other carried the parchment and, when each room or section of corridor was prepared, used a spell to capture the space onto the map. One person then needed to detect the name of the other, put that on the map, and set the map to continually renew the detection. Again, this needed to repeated, though not quite as frequently. It seemed to have a greater range than the mapping spell itself. 

They had tested the potion and spell in the room where Hermione had brewed the potion and the corridor outside, and it had worked well. Conveniently, the rooms mapped seemed to arrange themselves on the parchment to allow room for additions. They had set aside a parchment for each floor. Later they would use a spell from the third book to combine them into one, and another spell from the same book to make the map invisible. 

When they had returned to the tower, just at curfew, Harry had still been out. Nearly two hours later, they had given up on waiting and had decided to head up to their dormitories. Hermione had said that she should tell McGonagall, but Ron had tapped the parchment significantly. 

"Better to handle it ourselves," he had said confidently. 

It was a large family attitude, Hermione expected. Difficult as she found it to accept, sometimes, it was one of the things she liked about Ron. When he was handling a problem, he involved the necessary people, and no one else, and when he was angry at someone, he let them know directly. She thought they made a good team, as prefects, though Ron appeared lacksidasical. For the most part, he took care of it when someone needed a good private talking to, and she took care of it when McGonagall or the headmaster needed to be informed of someone's behavior. She had asked Ginny, who was desperately working on an Ancient Runes assignment that was due in the morning, to wake her if Harry did not return that evening, and then she had gone to bed. 

 

It was twenty minutes after the end of classes, and Hermione was wondering if Ron had forgotten his suggestion, or if there was, perhaps, a second trophy room, when Ron finally arrived. 

"Sorry I'm late — I wanted to give something to Andrew and I couldn't find him." 

"Well, we have a couple hours. Should we start here?"

"I thought we should start with the main classrooms, the library, and Dumbledore's office, if there's some way to manage that." 

"I've been thinking about that. They can't have got into everywhere. If we get the fumes into a room, can we map it from the outside?" 

"We'll need to try. How about here?" 

They discovered they could map the inside of a broom cupboard from outside it, if they magically pushed the fumes in. Further experimentation showed this only worked for a limited distance, and they could not map a second room deep, no matter how Hermione charmed the fumes into it. 

"How did they manage to break into everywhere?" Hermione wondered. "Even with Harry, we couldn't do that."

"Peter!" Ron said suddenly. "That's why they needed Peter." 

She frowned at him a moment, then her eyes widened. "Oh. As a rat!"

Now it was Ron's turn to look confused. "But that wouldn't work, would it? A rat couldn't cast the spell."

"So he probably dragged the parchment in, turned back, and then cast the spell. I bet there are areas the identification charm fails, because they couldn't get a second person close enough."

They walked in and out of each of the classrooms, even the unused ones, with Ron censing, and Hermione casting. It was tedious, but they enjoyed seeing the map grow. Ron cheered the first time someone else walked on to it. 

"Look! Lupin's just come into his office." His face fell. "How are we ever going to do his rooms?" 

"I'm more worried about how to do the library. We can't just walk in with this smelly stuff." 

"Maybe we can persuade Lavender it will improve the aura of the room, then sneak in after her." 

Hermione giggled. "How about the cloak?"

"Not unless we bring Harry in. If he's away, he has the cloak with him, and if he's not, I can't lift it and disappear with you for hours."

" _Could_ we bring him in?" Hermione asked. "I feel guilty doing this without him."

"No! If he knows we've made a map, he'll take it every time he leaves, and we'll never be able to use it to find him." 

"But what are we going to tell him if he finds out?"

Ron shook his head and shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe we should ask Ginny. She's an expert at excuses — better than the twins, even."

 

Harry was waiting for them at dinner. He glowered at them. Hermione was just about to tell him he had no right to feel snubbed when Harry finally spoke. "Ron," he snapped, "you missed practice."

"I...." Ron smacked himself in the forehead. "Damn! I forgot." 

"Well, don't forget Friday evening. At least this was a short one, but I wanted it for people to get comfortable with each other." He frowned at Hermione. "Where were you two? Any time I'm around, you're gone." 

"And any time we're around, you're gone," Ron retorted. 

"I haven't been gone much! I've only missed curfew twice." 

"Twice in a week and a half. Where were you, last night?"

"Oh... I was practicing in the Room of Requirement, and I knocked myself out with a reflected sleep spell. I shouldn't try that sort of thing alone." Harry smiled contritely at Hermione. "How about studying together, tonight? I have a few things I need to find in the library...."

"I'd like that," Hermione said immediately. "I have a Charms paper that could use a few more references." 

"Well, you two are welcome to it," Ron said cheerfully. "I'll study in the common room, where I can have some fun as well, and I'll see you when you get back."

Hermione sent Ron a grateful smile. It wasn't the first time he had arranged his schedule to see that she got private time with Harry. Ron nodded back at her, biting his lip slightly. _Have fun,_ he mouthed silently. 

 

**********

 

Studying in the library with Hermione might not be the most romantic way to spend an evening, Harry thought, but it was enjoyable, in a quiet way. Most of their attention was going to their studies, but he still found it pleasant to look up, now and then, and see her next to him, flipping frantically through a book, or chewing thoughtfully on her quill. It felt warm and nice to have her close. He settled an arm around her and went back to making notes on the 1981 laws restricting items "commonly associated" with Dark Arts.

"Harry?"

"Hm?" Harry answered. 

"Am I your girlfriend?"

Harry looked up at that. He'd been trying to figure that out himself. Everyone else seemed sure, but he wasn't. The last week had not clarified his feelings at all. He pulled her closer. "Do you want to be?" he asked.

"Well, that depends," Hermione blushed, but her voice did not waver as she continued. "Who else are you spending time with, when you disappear?"

Harry was immediately annoyed. He let go of her. "Hermione ... When I go away... I'm not with a girl, okay?"

"Fine. Who else are you spending time with?"

"It is not romantic, and it's not really your business."

"Fine. That's okay." Hermione shrugged. "I guess I don't want to be your girlfriend, then." 

Harry felt the same flush of desperate urgency that had prompted him to kiss her in Diagon Alley. "Hermione, really!" he pleaded. Madam Pince glared over at him, and he dropped his voice to a whisper. "It isn't. I swear." 

"Look, you were right about not having veto power over the friends of someone you're seeing — but you ought to at least know who those friends are. From the way you answered, I can tell you haven't been alone, and I don't want to date somebody who won't tell me who he spends his time with." 

_This is going all wrong,_ Harry thought. _I should have stayed around more; I should have set up an alibi when I went out. I can do it better; I just wasn't expecting them to be so suspicious._ "Hermione," he said intently, "Don't you think you're over-reacting to two evenings of —"

"Three. I don't believe that thing about last night."

"Why does it matter?"

"Because you obviously can't tell anybody when you're in trouble!"

Harry hid his face in his hands for a minute. _Not the stupid Dursleys, again!_ "Hermione," he said seriously, "I love you." 

A flash of anger crossed her face. "That is _not_ what we are talking about." 

"That may not be what you're talking about, but if you're going to ask me if you're my girlfriend, I think I can talk about it!"

"Because you're certainly not going to talk about what you do with your evenings, now, are you?."

"I CAN'T!" Harry yelled. He looked over at Madam Pince and gestured an apology. "Okay, you're right," he whispered. "I've met somebody a couple times. It's nothing bad. I'd like to tell you about it, but it's not safe for the other person. It's not my secret, I've promised, and I cannot tell you, okay? I _can't_."

"Harry — If you can't tell me, I understand," Hermione soothed. "I'm not upset. I just can't be your girlfriend, if that's what it's going to be like."

"Fine!" Harry raged. He forced himself to repeat the word like he meant it. "Fine. You're not my girlfriend. I still love you." 

Hermione's hand covered his briefly. Her own was unaccountably warm for the cool room. 

"I love you too," she said, matter-of-factly, and went back to her reading. Harry stared at his book for a long time before remembering to resolve it into words. 

 

They left the library when it closed. Hermione walked as close to Harry as possible without touching him. He badly wanted to put an arm around her, but thought that would probably be at odds with her current status as officially not his girlfriend. 

"Harry?" she said seriously.

"What?" To Harry's dismay, his voice came out angry. He tried to calm himself. 

"I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"You look grim all the time. Well, not all the time. You look intense all the time and grim a lot of it. And you disappear."

"Look, I've had a really stressful summer, okay? And things aren't exactly back to normal."

"When aren't you under stress?" she shot back. "Harry, I know you said you couldn't tell me, but I.... You worry me." 

"Why? What on earth could you be worried about?"

"Let's see... With your illegal potions, and your Dark Arts books and your generally cold attitude —"

"I do not have any illegal potions, I have never done Dark Arts —" Harry stopped. "Except for a failed attempt to cast Cruciatus, last spring —"

"What?"

"On Lestrange. It didn't work. Apparently you need to enjoy causing pain to cast it. I'm just too nice, or something." Harry smiled slyly at her. "So there, see — I can't run off and become a Death Eater." 

Hermione snorted. Harry paused, distracted by his own words. "I wonder if that's what it's like," he murmured pensively. "I should ask...."

Hermione looked sharply at him. "Ask who? You know anyone who could tell you?"

Harry snorted. "Perhaps I should ask Professor Snape. 'Excuse me, professor; what was it like becoming a Death Eater? Did you have any friends you couldn't tell?'" He made his voice rather like Colin Creevey's — excited and fast. "'Where did you tell them you were going? Did they ask why you'd started wearing long sleeves, all the time, or did everyone just know what that meant?'" He looked ingenuously at Hermione, who bit her lip. He thought it was in part to restrain a smile. 

"Harry, please don't. He'd kill you. And Gryffindor would be so far into negative numbers that you couldn't make it up to us if you single-handedly defeated Voldemort in front of the entire school." 

Harry grinned. "The Dark Lord would not be interested in facing me at Hogwarts. He doesn't like risks." 

" _What_ did you say?" Hermione stopped and whirled to face him. Harry glanced back at her in confusion.

"The Da-" Harry winced. "Er.... _Tom_ doesn't like risks." Slowly, he turned to face Hermione. She had her hands on her hips and her brows drawn down, but still looked more horrified than angry. 

"Since when do you give _Voldemort_ a title, Harry?" she asked sharply. It was anger, as soon as the words started. 

"I didn't ... I didn't mean anything by it." _Damn it, where did that come from? Have I said that before?_

"Say 'Voldemort.'"

Harry closed his eyes briefly. "I'm not allowed at the moment," he whispered. Nervously, he met her eyes. 

"Not _allowed?!_ "

"Snape went to Dumbledore and told him that until I was better at Occlumency, I shouldn't say that. It might give him a way in." Harry bit his lip. "Dumbledore _agreed,_ and you know what he thinks of that! My Occlumency is lot better now, though. I should ask the headmaster if I can, now...."

"'But 'Lord?!'" Hermione fumed, "Why that, of everything he's called?!"

It's just what I'm used to hear---" Harry broke off in mid-word, feeling heat flood his face. _Great job, Harry. That's reassuring._

"Who are your friends now?" she asked coldly.

"You and Ron, mostly."

"Who are you with when you go 'walking?'" 

Harry was silent.

"Say 'Voldemort.'"

Harry bit his lip.

"Say it!"

"I'll ask if...."

"Good _night,_ Harry." Hermione turned on her heel and hurried away. Harry watched her ascend the staircase, her pace fast and her back rigid. _Of all the stupid...!_

"Voldemort," he called out after her, loudly, but quickly, to get the name out before he changed his mind. 

She turned. Her face looked pale and strained, even in the torchlight. "Thank you, Harry," she said. Her voice had softened, but she did not return. "Good night." 

 

**********

 

Hermione was in no mood to socialize. She went straight through the common room, past Ron, who looked like he wanted to ask her something, past Ginny, who was sketching her housemates again, and up to her dormitory. 

Harry had said "the Dark Lord." Harry did not call Voldemort the Dark Lord; Death Eaters called him that. Harry called Voldemort "Voldemort." But not tonight.

She did not, of course, need to worry about Harry becoming a Death Eater, as he had joked. She was quite sure both that he would never support Voldemort, and that Voldemort wouldn't have him as a servant. Still, Harry's deliberately cheeky "Tom" did not make up for him dignifying Voldemort with his self-proclaimed title. 

She was still in a deep funk twenty minutes later, when the door opened, and Ginny came in, looking far worse. 

Hermione was on her feet in an instant. "Ginny? What's wrong?"

She was terrified of the answer. Ginny looked like someone had died. Hermione found herself hoping that Dean had dumped her. As much as she did not want that, it could produced this look of glazed anguish with less lasting harm than any other cause she could imagine. 

"That boy ...." Ginny choked. 

_Dean, then._ Hermione took a deep breath and prepared to be sympathetic. 

"That boy we've been treating as Harry. He's not."

Hermione tried to make some sense of this. _Not what?_ Finally she gave up and asked, "What?"

"He's not Harry," Ginny said emphatically. "I've tried to sketch him four times, this week, and it kept coming out wrong. Finally, I decided to do him as a stranger, and I realized it was wrong because his facial structure is different. I used to sketch him all the time, third year, and when I thought I knew what his face was like, I got it wrong."

Hermione tried not to roll her eyes. "Ginny, he's grown up a bit, that's all." 

"That wouldn't change his cheekbones, or the shape of his mouth."

"Ginny, you're imaging things. He's older, he's skinnier, and ..." Hermione hesitated, then steeled herself, "and you're not infatuated with him, anymore. You're a better artist than you used to be, especially after those games with Dean, last spring — perhaps you see more accurately."

"I know what I see, and what I've seen. That is not Harry!"

"Ginny, please!" Hermione said desperately. "I cannot take this, right now! If you have some sort of real evidence — not your subjective observations from now compared to your subjective observations from two years ago, let me know. Right now, I want to go to sleep." 

Ginny's mouth hardened in the grim determination of a child who has learned to find her own way. 

"All right," she said. "I'll get it." With that, she turned and marched out of Hermione's room. 

 

_Hermione dreamed she was alone with Harry, somewhere outside, perhaps in the Forbidden Forest, far away from anyone else. The summer sun filtered through the green leaves and lit the air about them as they kissed. His attention warmed her as deeply._

_Harry pulled away, breathless and charmingly flushed, but then gave her one of those strange, mocking looks._

_"Dear Hermione," he said coolly, and he pulled up his sleeve to show the Dark Mark there. His expression charged with cruel delight as she stared back in horror. He looked less like Harry, now, and more like a young Lucius Malfoy, but with black hair and green eyes. She tried to pull away, but his hand closed on her wrist. He pushed her down to her knees and surveyed her with satisfied arrogance._

_"Don't worry, Hermione. You can still be my pet."_

 

Hermione woke, gasping. It was the middle of the night. She had fallen asleep in her clothes, on top of her still-made bed. Her eyes itched and her teeth felt fuzzy. She could still picture the dream-Harry's mocking smile and the Dark Mark on his arm. 

"Stupid," she muttered. "Stupid dream. All Ginny's fault."

But Ginny had not mentioned Death Eaters. 

Hermione got up and went through her usual going to bed routine. When she was in soft pajamas, with her teeth clean, the dream seemed rather silly, though she didn't think she'd dare confess it to anyone. Her subconscious should not be so foolish. _Perhaps I can dream about Voldemort joining S.P.E.W.,_ she thought, as she went, yawning, to her bed. She lay down and slept soundly. 

 


	38. Conspiracy Theory

 

"So, mate," Ron said, as they left the Great Hall to go to Charms, "you set to tell me about Hermione, now?"

"Honestly, I'm still not really sure what happened."

"Well, I know about that. Still...."

"She said she wouldn't be my girlfriend if I wouldn't tell her where I've been and who with, and those things." Harry looked at Ron and frowned. "Don't you think that's kind of over-reacting? I mean, I've wandered off a few times. What business of it is hers?"

Ron looked uneasy. "Well, I would say yes, but, Harry...."

"But what?"

"Well, we were talking, and we both knew that the Dursleys were awful to you...."

"And?" Harry asked sharply. _If Ron, of all people, dares tell me I'm emotionally incompetent...._

"But you never told us about the boot cupboard. Or them telling all the neighbors you were some kind of criminal..."

"You didn't need to know that! What does it matter?"

Ron dropped his gaze to the stone stairs. "Well, we reckon if you're wandering off saying you need time alone, that could mean anything from you need time alone to you hate all of us."

"Ron! Look, I can't imagine not being friends with you. I know we've fought, now and then, but we're always miserable about it, right? And with Hermione, too." 

Ron shrugged slightly. "About Hermione — I haven't seen her all morning. Are you two okay with each other? At all? She was glaring daggers when she came in."

Harry groaned. "Oh, you wouldn't believe how stupid I was! She's probably not speaking to me." 

"What did you do?"

"Well, I was talking about ..." Harry hesitated -- "er, Voldemort." Nothing bad happened when he said the name. His scar didn't even twinge. Harry wondered when he had started expecting something bad to happen. _Right,_ he thought. _I don't care what Dumbledore says; I'm going back to saying Voldemort. I'll warn him, though, and ask him what the risks are. Today._ "Except I wasn't allowed to say that over the summer. And you know how I hate the 'you-know-who' business. So I've mostly been saying 'Tom.' Except last night, I wasn't thinking, and I said..." He ducked his head. "Er, I said 'the Dark Lord.'" Harry could feel his face heating at even quoting the phrase. "She was so angry." 

Ron frowned. "I... You've said that before. I remember thinking it was odd."

"I have? Oh, crap. I have no _idea_ when I started that." 

"I remember! You said it after you'd given me that potion. 'It's better than being possessed by the Dark Lord.' Does it matter?"

Harry noticed he was pulling his finger absently through his hair and forced himself to stop. _That's it! I'm cutting it._ He looked around. They were momentarily clear of the other clusters of students. "It's what the Death Eaters call him, mostly," he answered quietly.

"Oh." Ron looked at the abashed expression on Harry's face and laughed. "Where did you pick _that_ up?" He scowled suddenly. "Malfoy."

"Malfoy?" Harry returned incredulously. "We're barely speaking. Actually, I think he's back to snubbing me. We certainly haven't been chatting about ... him, er, Voldemort. Professor Snape says that, though."

"I wonder why?" Ron said sarcastically. "Anyway, why is _Snape_ talking to you about You-Know-Who?"

"Well, after his — Tom Riddle's — first fall, a lot of laws changed. Professor Snape has been talking to me about that. So it's a lot of —" Harry heard footsteps behind them. Other students were drawing near. "Uh.... Later, I think. Someplace more private."

 

**********

 

Hermione went up to Gryffindor after classes. She planned to go to her room to exchange her books, then go to the library. Harry was waiting for her in the common room. He walked over to intercept her and stopped in front of her. 

"Excuse me, please," Hermione said frostily. 

"I just wanted to tell you something."

She stared back at him, trying to look as aloof as he did. After a few seconds, he took this as permission to continue.

"I told Professor Dumbledore that I'm going back to saying Voldemort's name. He says that should be fine, at my current proficiency, as long as I don't forget my exercises, at night." 

A trace of hurt showed through at that. Hermione couldn't help but feel sympathetic. 

"Good," she said. "I... It's part of _you_ , you know, that you'll say his name." 

Harry brightened at this slight sign of approval. "Hermione... when I can tell you what's been happening, if I can explain why I couldn't, could we, perhaps, try again?"

He reached out and took her hands, and despite herself, she smiled. 

"Depends on what you tell me, now, doesn't it?" she said tartly. She expected Harry to smile, but he bit his lip apprehensively. Although the observation did not seem to encourage him, he nodded acceptance. 

"Can the three of us do something together, this weekend?" he asked quickly. "Ron and I were talking, and I don't think we've been spending enough time all together. You know how bad we can get."

"I was planning more research into the mysterious Augustus Maitland." 

"Oh, not that!" Harry dropped her hands. "Snape's sent you on a fool's errand. He just wants to waste your time."

"No. He was annoyed -- and distracted. It meant something to him."

"How about a walk round the lake, instead?"

"We'll see what the weather's like."

"A visit with Hagrid?"

"Perhaps." Hermione shifted uneasily. "Could I ... go upstairs, now?"

"Oh — of course." Harry hastily stepped to the side. "Later, then." 

 

Hermione continued upstairs, feeling a little more cheerful. At this rate, things should be back to normal with Harry in a week or two. Perhaps, she thought, the way to protect their friendship was to firmly decide they would not date; that seemed to have worked with Ron. It might also lessen his disturbing new arrogance.

In her room, Hermione found Ginny sitting on one of the window seats, waiting for her. 

"Ginny?"

"I have your proof," Ginny said. "Come look." 

"Ginny," Hermione sighed. "Please...."

"Come look! You told to get evidence, and I did. Here!" Ginny flipped over a pile of photographs. Hermione came closer. On the top one, Harry was in the stands of the Quidditch pitch, leaning back against the staff box and critically watching something ahead of him. Hermione thought the picture must be from the tryouts. As she peered more closely at the photograph, the picture Harry glanced up at her and Ginny. He gave them a sly smile, then went back to surveying the unshown pitch.

Ginny placed the picture carefully on the table. Under it, she placed one of Harry flying, also from this year. Next to that, she placed an older one of him flying. In all, she set out eight pictures on the table, in pairs, each having one current picture, and one from the year before. 

"Look," she said. She drew Hermione's attention to two pictures of Harry sitting quietly in the Gryffindor common room. Both were from the front, and both mostly Harry's face. "See the mouth?"

"It looks thinner," Hermione admitted. "But perhaps that's just expression?"

"Wait," Ginny said. "He smiles, now and then." Indeed, as she finished speaking, last week's Harry gave a little smile. Hermione thought it looked rather superior. She looked at the other picture, in which last year's Harry had a slight, absent pout, which, now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen on him recently. He also gave a little smile, which looked charmingly shy.

"It's the relative width of the lower lip, and the curve of the upper one. That's changed. Yes, the overall effect is that his mouth seems thinner. It makes him look more reserved, I think, especially when he's not smiling, or smiling just slightly. If you look at the flying pictures, it's mostly an intense look, but you'll occasionally see a big grin. Those are both different, too. It's partially in the mouth and partially in the cheeks. Look here." Ginny pointed to this or that of Harry's features in the paired pictures as she spoke. 

Hermione looked, while Ginny continued to point and compare. The differences were subtle, but they were there, and Ginny was right — they could not be accounted for by age or weight. The more she looked, the more convinced she became — she was, indeed, looking at pictures of two different people. 

"Oh my god," Hermione murmured. She felt numb. She looked up at Ginny. For the first time, she noticed that the girl, whose voice had been devoid of anything but an artist's enthusiasm for form, looked even worse than the day before. Her eyes were pink, and the lids puffy from crying. "What do you think...."

"I think he died," Ginny said flatly. "I think he died in the Death Eater attack, and they don't dare let anyone know." She swallowed. "Which is right, you know," she continued, her voice very high and tight with tension, "because people would give up hope, but I don't know how I'll ever manage to talk to — to that boy."

Hermione looked back at the photos. "I wonder who he is?" A thought hit her suddenly, and she swayed. 

"He believed all that nonsense about being in love with me ... but no one ever told him he says 'Voldemort' without batting an eye."

_Not Harry, but that doesn't mean.... Dead?_

The idea was starting to get through her shock. She reached out to the picture of last year's Harry sitting in the common room. "Harry?" Her voice caught. The picture Harry gave a slight, shy smile. "Oh, god."

Ginny's wrapped an arm around her waist. "Would you like me to stay?"

Hermione, unable to speak, nodded.

 

Hermione stayed up in her room for hours. Ginny wanted her to go to dinner, but she refused, because she would not be able to explain why she kept breaking into tears. Ginny nodded and left. Hermione was surprised when she came back twenty minutes later with food from the kitchens. 

After eating, Hermione felt a bit better. It was possible Harry was dead, she thought, but it was also possible he had just been injured and was being hidden someplace safe. She tried to keep herself from thinking of all the other ways such a problem might have been handled with less risk. Perhaps it was a special injury, from an attack that Voldemort could not find out had worked.

She had just tried a spell to make her eyes less red when Lavender Brown came up to the room.

"Ron wants to see you," she said. "Will you come down, or shall I tell him you're sleeping?"

"Is Harry there?" Hermione was embarrassed at how her voice wavered.

"He just left for the library." Lavender gave her a look of deepest sympathy. "Poor dear. Sometimes it's the boys you'd never suspect." 

 

Hermione walked down and met Ron. He surveyed her a moment, then frowned. 

"Let go someplace more private," Hermione suggested nervously. "I think we need to talk." 

"Are you going to get our work things?" Ron asked, puzzled. Hermione knew he meant the things for the map spell. 

"No. I just want to talk." 

Ron shrugged. "Let's go, then." 

They walked quietly down the first corridor branching off from the stairs. Ron led Hermione from there to a small room with two doors. Several desks were stored there, conveniently blocking parts of the room from view of anyone in either doorway. They settled on the dusty floor behind one such desk. Hermione tried to think what to say.

"I've talked to Harry," Ron volunteered. "I don't think you should be so upset at him."

"That's not it," Hermione answered. She paused, uncertain how to explain the situation so that Ron would listen. Ron was not likely to take Ginny's news well.

"Than what is it?" Ron challenged.

Hermione swallowed. "That's not Harry," she said timidly.

"What?"

"That ... that boy's not Harry. Ginny realized. I wouldn't believe her at —"

"Are you _mental_?" Ron screamed.

"Ginny had photographs. His mouth is different. That's probably why he looks annoyed, so often. And his face is shaped differently. He looks a lot like Harry, but he's not Harry!"

"You _are_ mental."

Hermione took a deep breath and tried not to take Ron's reaction personally. She had looked much the same way at Ginny. "Look, Ron, I didn't want to believe it either, but when I looked at the photos, I had to agree. Ginny thinks he probably died in the Death Eater attack, and they don't dare let anyone find out. That's why it took so long for--"

"I am not listening to any more of this ..." Ron flailed his arms around as if trying to grab a word from the air -- "codswallop!"

"Codswallop?" Hermione repeated, distantly amused. 

"Shit!" Ron shrieked. He scrambled to his feet and stood staring at her for a moment, breathing heavily. "Do you want to finish the map?"

Hermione pulled her legs in tight to her body and tried not to shake. "I don't see any point, now."

"Then send me the parts, and the books and what we've got of the potion. I'll finish it." 

"You need someone to help you."

"I'll have _Harry_ help me." 

"That's not Harry."

"Just send it over with Ginny, or something." Ron turned to the door, then paused. "No -- _Lavender._ " He opened the door. "Oh, and Hermione?"

"I know. You think I'm mental."

"You're okay as a friend. _Don't_ date anyone else I like." 

Ron left, slamming the door behind him so hard that it bounced back open. He stormed off down the hallway. 

 

Hermione spent a while curled up under the desk, trying to cry. It was no use; she had run out of tears in her dormitory. She thought that she would gladly survive the humiliation of being wrong just to have Ron be right, but when she remembered those pictures, she knew he couldn't be. When she finally felt like she could survive the dash through the common room, she climbed to her feet and headed back to Gryffindor. 

In her room, she got together the spell books and potions book that she and Ron had been using to make the map, and put next to them the leftover potion and potions components, the parchments, and the special ink. She wondered if she had some sort of bag she could put them in — not her school bag — something disposable.

A thought occurred to her, and she went to her trunk. Under her spare robes and dress robes was a black plastic bag with handles, and in that a pair of black leather trousers that had been subtly scenting all her school clothes since the trip to Diagon Alley. Slowly, she took them out and stroked the soft leather. She smiled slightly, remembering Harry as the African prince, his head wrapped in gold — but that had already not been Harry, she realized. It had been a charming, maddening, half-familiar boy who gossiped and smoked cigarettes and kissed her passionately and without warning.

Trembling, Hermione slipped the leather back into the bag. She set the bag on the floor and added to it the books and parchment, the potions things, and the ink. She then slid the collection under her bed, telling herself she would give it to Ron in the morning. 

She was crying again. 

 


	39. The Wrong Answer

 

Breakfast had been weird, Harry thought. Hermione was avoiding him, again, though she looked more hurt than angry, and Ron was almost too friendly and shooting dark looks at her — obviously they had fought about him, again. 

Potions was no better — Malfoy sniggered whenever Harry talked, and bumped Harry's table hard enough to spill things on his way to the supply closet. Harry, of course, lost points for making a mess, but that didn't bother him so much as the sheer childishness of Malfoy's spite. 

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, Ron had saved a seat for him. Hermione was sitting with Padma. When Malfoy came in, he sat with Hannah, who immediately turned pink and started subtly rearranging her robes. Harry thought it was rather disgusting.

Professor Lupin entered a step behind Neville. 

"For the next week," he said, "we are going to be working on an understanding of what makes something Dark Arts, and how we define, detect, and restrict Dark Arts. Today's class, I'm afraid, will be entirely theory, but I hope to have a few engaging demonstrations for next week, to break the monotony, a bit." 

Harry glanced surreptitiously over at Malfoy. The Death Eater's son already looked contemptuous. 

"First," Lupin said, "can anyone give me a definition of Dark Arts?" He managed not to look at Malfoy as he asked. Harry was impressed. 

Ernie Macmillan raised his hand. At Lupin's nod, he said:

"Harmful or coercive magic?"

"No, although the expression is sometimes used loosely to cover that. Neville?

"Spells cast by hate?"

"Closer. Anyone else?"

Harry raised his hand. When Lupin nodded at him, he began. 

"Dark Arts spells require part of the caster's soul to augment and direct the magic used in casting. Emotion is often required, but it doesn't need to be hate. It doesn't even need to be negative, though negative emotions are more frequently used. The danger of this is—"

Lupin cut him off. "We'll come back to risks later, Harry. There's actually a classification division, here. Some systems class all the magic Harry described as Dark; others reserve that label for only those cast using negative emotions as Dark Arts, and refer to the entire class as Soul Arts. In Britain, at least, the entire class is proscribed —"

Harry, who was already annoyed at not being allowed to finish his description, tensed at this oft-repeated falsehood. He raised his hand. "That's not true!" he said, without waiting to be acknowledged. "There are at least three Dark Arts spells in controlled use — the Binding Oath, in government, and two healing —" 

"Harry!" Lupin snapped. "Please wait to be called on. Yes, there are a very few exceptions, but in general —"

"We are not a lot of second-years that require simplification!" Harry shot back. "If you are going to talk about this, Remus, do it honestly!"

Lupin stared at him. " _What_ did you call me?"

"'Re-' Oh." Harry reddened. "Sorry, sir." 

A few people snickered. 

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter." Lupin softened the punishment with a slight, amused smile. "And please wait your turn to speak. Had you let me finish my sentence, I might have mentioned exceptions — you don't know, now, do you?" 

"No, sir. Sorry, sir." Harry glanced over at Malfoy, and found the Slytherin watching him in a amusement. When their eyes met, Malfoy raised his eyebrows in an expression of astonishment. Harry watched him slowly raise his hand. 

Remus finished what he was saying about the Binding Oath, and called on Malfoy. Malfoy settled back in his chair, and his eyes again locked on Harry's. 

"Harry," he drawled, making Ron tense at Harry's side, "described that surprisingly well, but with one omission — a rather interesting one, I think, for him." He smirked. "Many Dark Arts spells also use part of the soul of the victim — sorry, _subject._ This is true of all those that leave a permanent mark." His eyes flicked up significantly, though at his distance there would be no difference in focus for Harry's eyes and Harry's scar. Harry brought his brows down in question. Malfoy nodded seriously. 

Lupin seemed rather taken aback. After a moment of awkward silence he said:

"Er... Thank you for that contribution, Mr. Malfoy. I had heard that of binding spells, but not of... er, curse scars."

Privately, Harry thought that, considering the effects of his scar, it could probably be classified as a malfunctioning binding spell, however unintentional. He gave Malfoy an evaluating look. Malfoy smirked. 

 

The rest of the class was somewhat better. Harry waited his turn, and Lupin did allow him to say his piece on the risks of Dark Arts, which brought him satisfyingly incredulous looks from Malfoy, even if it did make Lupin seem a bit uncomfortable. Ron shook his head, but didn't seem quite as disturbed as the professor. 

"Well, that will be all," Professor Lupin said brightly. "I'd like ten inches from each of you on Monday — just a short review of what we covered today, so that I can be sure everyone understood it. Harry, could you stay after, please?"

Harry looked at Ron. "Wait for me?" he asked in an urgent whisper. Ron nodded. He stood by the door while Harry walked up to Remus's desk. 

"About the scar...." Remus began. 

"I bet he's right. It behaves like a binding spell, just one with no focus."

"Those are called linking spells, Harry."

"Fine, but they're in the same class." 

Remus nodded. "Could you, perhaps, ask your friend to wait outside for a moment?" he suggested. 

Harry stepped back. "Sorry." He could feel himself reddening. Remus's entire face tightened. 

"Back to that, are we?" he asked. If Harry had not known him well, he would have called Remus's words light, but he could hear the touch of tension in the familiar voice. 

"Sorry," he repeated sincerely. "Want to schedule a meeting?"

"That is acceptable?"

"Yes. Oh, absolutely. I'd like to talk."

"Tomorrow afternoon, then."

"Sounds good. Time?"

"Three-thirty. My office." 

Harry nodded and smiled as warmly as he could. "I'll see you then, Professor Lupin."

 

Care of Magical Creatures passed without major incident, although Hermione, this time, requested a Calming Draught. She looked on the verge of tears most of class, but Ron restrained Harry from approaching her. 

"You'll just upset her more, mate. Come on, now. Parvati will take care of her." 

 

Quidditch practice was odd. Ginny and Ron seemed to have fought, as well, and Ginny was twitchy whenever Harry tried to talk to her. She, also, appeared to have been crying. Harry decided there must be something up with the girls other than Hermione's argument with him — that could not possibly have upset Ginny so much.

 

After dinner, Ron suggested they go right up to the sixth-year boys dormitory. 

"The girls have some sort of drama going on. Let's give it a miss. We've hardly spent any time together since first night back."

Harry shrugged and followed Ron upstairs. For a while, they sat and talked about classes and Quidditch, but the conversation was oddly strained. After a while, Harry began to wonder why Ron was keeping him in the room. He stopped pacing, which made him wonder when he had started, and looked over at his friend.

"What's wrong?" Ron asked. "You look upset."

Harry shrugged. "I'm not upset. Just thinking."

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just ... wondering what's going on. I mean, you've just spent all day with me. You don't do that, anymore. Now you seem set to spend all evening with me. What's up?"

Ron looked embarrassed. He stretched back on his bed, rummaged in his bedside drawer for a moment, and pulled out a chocolate frog, which he tossed at Harry. "Here. Stop that." 

"Stop what?"

"Thinking." 

Harry put down the sweet, crossed his arms over his chest, and leaned back against his bed. "All right. What's going on downstairs that I'm not supposed to know about?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are we here?" Harry growled. 

"Because I miss you." 

The reply was short, cross, and utterly sincere. Harry didn't know how to respond to it. He sat down. Ron sat up and crossed his legs in front of him, but looked down at his calves.

"What do you remember about when we met?" Ron asked. Harry hesitated, wondering what was wanted of him, then finally shrugged, and began to talk. 

"It was your family first. I was all alone, with no idea how to get to the platform, and terrified I'd miss the train. Then this family came by — with an owl! And your mother helped me. She was very kind, and didn't make me feel stupid." He looked appraisingly at Ron, who was still looking down, but now smiling slightly. Harry continued.

"You came to sit with me on the train, and you stared at me at first, but you caught yourself and were nice enough to try not to, and you got over my name pretty quickly. You told me about your family, and I told you a bit about mine.

"When the trolley came by, it had nothing I'd seen before, so I bought some of everything and shared it all with you. I'd never had money before. It was fun, and the sweets were better than Muggle ones. My first Chocolate Frog had Dumbledore's card, and it was the first time I'd seen a wizard picture. You thought it was strange that people in Muggle pictures stayed put. You explained to me about houses and Quidditch — oh, and Hermione brought Neville by; that was how we started talking about houses — and Malfoy came by and was a conceited ass, then left when Scabbers bit Goyle."

He stopped, feeling odd at the thought of Scabbers, back when he'd just been Ron's rat. 

"But you're nice to Malfoy, now," Ron said bitterly. 

"Ron! That was years ago! We were little kids! And the start of it was him trying to make friends with me —"

"By attacking me."

"Oh, yes!" Harry gave him a wry smile. "He obviously had no idea how to make friends with someone who wasn't already eager to be in with a Malfoy." He thought about James's description of the Hogwarts Express. "Rather sad, if you think about it."

"Sad?"

"He'd probably never met anyone who hadn't been ordered to be nice to him. I must have been a shock." 

"It would never occur to me to feel sympathy for the overprivileged."

Harry didn't want to argue the point. He shrugged. "Honestly, Ron, you're much better at justice than mercy. Hermione even more so."

"And you?" Ron challenged. 

"And me. It's a Gryffindor trait, I think." Harry frowned thoughtfully. "I spent a lot of my summer thinking about this — the good and bad sides of our traits, I mean. Not just as right and wrong, but as productive and not productive."

"Sounds rather Slytherin."

"Does it? I mean, something can be morally right, but still not useful or kind -- freeing house elves, for example."

"Oh." Ron chewed at his lower lip a moment. "Okay. I see what you mean."

"Treating Malfoy as my enemy hasn't got me anything but trouble, and it certainly hasn't improved him, any. I'd like to see what treating him as an intelligent acquaintance does." 

"And the Dark Arts stuff?"

"Came rather out of the same thing. I was interested in where the line is drawn — especially between legal and illegal, or between levels of punishment. It's a bit inconsistent, actually, when you start looking too closely. Scary, when you start thinking about people like Lupin, or even Hagrid — there's talk about mandating registration of part-humans, now."

Ron frowned. "But ... it shouldn't be any problem if they don't do anything wrong, right? A lot of the werewolves can't be trusted — Lupin even says so. Registration is for his protection, as well, so he can't get in trouble for something he didn't do."

"It doesn't protect him at all, Ron! If a werewolf attacks in the area he was known to be in, they'll round him up. Say something happens in Hogsmeade, and it's done by an unregistered werewolf, or a werewolf who claimed to be somewhere else. They'll bring in Lupin for questioning, and they have the right to give him veritaserum, rather than getting testimony, because it's quick. So even if people saw him in his room, he'll be questioned."

"But questioning will show he didn't do it. So what's the problem?"

"What if questioning also shows he knows about a werewolf who didn't register? Or that he lied, some previous time, about where he would be? Or anything else? Helping Sirius? Then he can be jailed for that. Even if it shows nothing, he's had his privacy ripped away, and we've had days of Snape as a substitute."

"Now, that's a scary thought." Ron smiled wanly at Harry. "Of course, now you're back to championing morally right, and I'm defending useful." 

"People should be treated decently," Harry said stubbornly. "Not just wizards, and not just humans, either. All people." 

"What do you consider a person, though?"

 

They talked for hours about everything from the line between people and creatures to favorite sweets. Neville came in and went to bed, then Dean, then Seamus. After several complaints, Harry and Ron ended up on Harry's bed with the curtains drawn to protect the others from whispered stories and spelled light. In the middle of a very funny story about Fred and George charming their mum's broom to go into long speeches, whenever she tried to sweep with it, about how it was going to run away and become a Quidditch star, Harry realized he couldn't stop yawning.

"Am I boring you?" Ron asked, and promptly yawned himself.

"No, it's funny. I'm just exhausted. What time is it?"

Ron poked his face and wand out of the curtains. "Oh no!"

"What?"

"It's three o'clock. A little past."

"Oh. No wonder." Harry had been feeling achy, as well as tired, and realized now that it was past time for him to take his potion. He usually did that before the others were up in the room, or while they were out getting ready for bed, and he'd skipped it the night before. 

"Better go brush our teeth, and stuff," he said, pushing the curtain open. 

"You can," Ron yawned. "I'm too tired." He crossed to his bed and lay down. "G'night, Harry."

"Good night." Harry decided to do his usual bedtime things. Ron should be asleep when he got back. 

"Harry?" 

Harry stopped with his hand on the door. "Yeah?"

"I'm glad we're friends."

Harry smiled. "Me too," he said.

 

When he got back, the room was full of peaceful breathing. He went straight to the drawer of his bedside table, opened it with a muttered spell, and took out a vial of the muscle-relaxing potion. Quickly, he shook it, opened it, and downed it while it was still fizzing. 

"Harry?"

Only exhaustion kept Harry from flinching. "Still awake?"

"What was that?"

"Just something I take for muscle pain. I'm supposed to have it every other day, at least."

"Muscle pain?" Ron repeated questioningly.

"It's ..." Harry thought quickly. He certainly hadn't shown any signs of pain, and if Ron went and talked to Madam Pomfrey, he'd find out that she had not given any potions to Harry. He decided to borrow liberally from the truth.

"Since the Death Eater attack. It had some ... complications." 

"You weren't there." Ron sounded strangely panicked. 

"No, but I was affected by the wards coming down." That, Harry thought, was pretty good. Even other members of the Order didn't really understand Dumbledore's wards. "So I need this potion," he said. "I will for a few months. Snape makes it for me directly. Talk to Dumbledore if you like, but not Pomfrey. She doesn't know."

"Shouldn't she, though?" Again, Ron sounded more distressed than Harry thought reasonable. _Honestly! I've just given him permission to talk to Dumbledore about it. He can't think it's anything bad._

"No. He'd need to tell her too much about what happened to the wards, and what happened to me. He hasn't even told his old crowd that. It's strictly for people who need to know."

 


	40. Damage Control

 

When Hermione came back from a late Saturday breakfast, the common room was empty except for Ron. His red hair was as disheveled as Harry's used to be, and his eyes were bleary from lack of sleep. 

"Where's Harry?" she asked. The words came out sharp and spiteful, with more than a little jealousy behind them. Hermione was immediately ashamed. Sorrow and fear had kept her from sleeping; her emotions were showing before she saw them herself. "Sorry," she said, just as Ron said:

"Still in bed."

"I really am sorry. I didn't mean to sound like that."

Ron pushed a hand through his hair and looked about him as if he might find a large package labeled "The Answer" floating about somewhere.

"Ron?" Hermione asked gently. "What's wrong?"

"I spent last night talking to Harry."

He didn't seem able to continue beyond that. Hermione looked beyond his general exhaustion and saw the anxiety underlying it.

"And now you wonder," she suggested gently.

"Not because of what he said. He's so ... him. Or, at least, he's different, but no more than someone might be after all their remaining family was killed off, and —"

The portrait hole opened, and Lavender and Parvati climbed in. 

"Can we go someplace private?" Ron asked Hermione.

"Of course," she answered. "Is it okay if Ginny comes?"

Ron nodded. "Probably best," he said wryly. "I wouldn't want people to think I'm moving in on Harry Potter's girlfriend. Witch Weekly will pick it up, and I'll be getting Howlers from middle-aged housewives all over Britain." 

Hearing Ron use Harry's full name unsettled Hermione. "I'm not his girlfriend," she managed.

"Oh — then you'll open the Howlers for me?"

"Oh — " Hermione growled with exasperation — "wait here!"

 

When she came back down with Ginny and the pictures, the latter safely stored in a crease-proof envelope, Ron was slumped against the wall. He straightened slowly as she and Ginny approached. They had just turned to open the portrait hole when a voice came from behind them. 

"Hi! Wait!" 

Hermione felt an involuntary twitch jerk through her at the sound. Harry was already halfway towards them when she turned.

"Heading out?" It was innocently asked, and addressed primarily to Ron.

"Yeah ... I need to talk to the girls a bit, Harry." More than a trace of guilt came through in Ron's voice. "Meet you later?" he asked weakly.

Harry's face tightened with hurt, then anger. "So I'm not welcome."

"Harry ... look, mate, it's just...."

"It's just that you're bloody hypocrites, the both of you. If I go off on my own, that's a problem. If you go off together, that's just how it is. You won't ever tell me where _you_ go or what _you_ do either, will you?"

_You started it!_ Hermione wanted to yell, but just the desire to attack showed her that he was right. She had to remind herself that this was not Harry she was abandoning. She focused on his face. Harry had never had that faint sneer in his anger; he had more of a sullen look, or an indignant one, when he was furious. 

"We're going for a walk by the lake," Ron said.

"Really?" The sneer became more pronounced, but also cooler. Harry stepped back. "With your sister, Ron? Kinky. Are you just sharing with her?"

Harry ducked Ron's first punch and danced back with a shout of harsh laughter. The ferocity and speed of Ron's second attack took him by surprise. They grappled for a moment, then Ron took him down with a sweep of his foot, straddled him, and began punching him. "Ron!" Harry yelled, trying to buck him off. He tried to block the blows, with limited success.

"Stop it!" Hermione screamed. Ron ignored her. Ginny tried to haul him off. Hermione whipped out her wand. _"Stupefy!"_ she shouted. Ron collapsed. Harry wriggled out from underneath him.

"Are you all right?" Hermione asked. The boy's face was red, his lip bleeding slightly, and one of his eyes was starting to swell. He nodded gingerly. 

"I'll live. I deserved that, really." He smiled tentatively at Ginny. "Sorry, Ginny." He touched his lip tenderly. "Ow." 

Ginny looked down. She didn't say anything. The Boy-Who-Looked-Like-Harry sucked a spot of blood from his lip and turned away. 

"Go on, then," he said. "I'll go for a walk of my own." 

Hermione waited until he was out of sight before reviving Ron. 

"That arsehole!" he screamed. 

Ginny giggled. Hermione thought she sounded a bit hysterical. "Good one, though," she said shakily. "I mean, he managed to insult all of us in one insinuation. That's talent."

"Let's go," said Hermione.

 

**********

 

Harry took off his invisibility cloak just outside Snape's lab. He walked in, waved, and automatically locked and warded the door.

"Good morning," Severus said, without looking up from his cauldron. "I was wondering if I'd see you, today." 

Harry came by and sat on a nearby stool. "I have a confession," he said.

"Confessions are the headmaster's department," Severus commented dryly, as he measured out beetle eyes. When Harry didn't respond, he looked up. After a moment of surprise, he frowned. 

"And would this confession have anything to do with fighting in the hallways?"

"No," Harry said flatly, "we fought quite decently in the Gryffindor common room, and that's not it."

Severus looked away. Harry could see a trace of a smile at the edge of his mouth. "Is it true that the Gryffindor common room is red to hide all the blood?"

Harry snorted. "You know perfectly well that red only hides blood for a few minutes. We'd need to do it in brown, which would tarnish the heroic luster of our house." 

Severus stopped adding components to stare at him. "In a bit of a mood, today?"

Harry, suddenly no longer amused, shrugged. Severus put out the fire under his cauldron. 

"Sitting won't hurt this. What is the confession, then?" He looked pointedly at Harry's bruised face. "You told young Weasley?"

"No, but I think I probably should." 

"Explain."

Harry sighed. "Okay. My confession is that I have been insufficiently cautious."

Severus scowled. "And you think he suspects."

" _They_ suspect something. I don't know if they have a _what_ , yet, but they think my behavior is odd." 

"Is it odd?"

"Perhaps a little. I didn't take great pains to hide leaving, at first, because last year, that wouldn't have bothered them. Apparently they've decided I need a closer eye kept on me this year, though, so they _have_ noticed. Also, Ron saw me taking the potion, last night —- I had thought he was asleep." 

Severus looked displeased. Harry squared his shoulders. "I could just tell them the truth. I'm sure I can trust them not to tell, whatever else they may do."

"You must be able to find a less revealing way to allay their suspicions." 

"If I need to, I have a couple of ideas, but they're both difficult ... and embarrassing. Telling the truth would work better."

"Harry, _no_. I won't negotiate. You are not telling them anything until my plans are in place." 

"They wouldn't endanger me."

"Perhaps," Severus sneered, his voice full of doubt. "Not intentionally, at any rate. But they have no such qualms about _me,_ I am sure, and that Weasley boy is careless, and his emotions too readable, whether he tries to keep the secret or not."

Harry looked down at the floor. It was stained, here and there, by fire in some places, and unknown substances in others. One spot glittered slightly. Ron, he had to admit, would love to cause trouble for Snape, but he thought that loyalty to the Order would override that.

"I'll accept that about Ron's transparency, anyway. But they are suspicious, and they will eventually notice that whatever's up with me involves you. Ron is intuitive, Hermione is knowledgeable, and they are good at finding things out. They don't have me, this time, but Ginny seems to be working with them. If I'm not going to tell them the truth, I need a specific lie to pretend to hide from them, so they feel like they're getting somewhere when they nose around."

Severus considered this a moment, then nodded. "And?" he prompted.

"I've thought of two workable scenarios." Harry reddened, but continued. "I can pretend to be having an affair with you, as Remus suspected, or I can pretend to be dependent on something you are giving me. I'd find the second one less disturbing, and it would fit in well with the things that seem to make Ron nervous."

His father's face went through some weird contortions before settling on a bland expression. Harry couldn't decide if the intermediate phase had indicated disgust, amusement, or both. 

"Of the two," he said smoothly, "I am uncertain which I would prefer to be thought of me, but the second would probably be safer, if my lord were to hear of it." 

"It seems like the most plausible explanation, at this point, for the things they've noticed," Harry said. He tried not to think about the reference to Voldemort. 

"And what, precisely, would you this substance be?"

Harry smiled disarmingly. "I'd hoped you could help me with that. Remus said ...." he trailed off.

Severus rested his forehead on his fingertips, hiding most of his face. After a few seconds, he peered up through his fingers. "Oh," he said.

"Well, I don't know much about that sort of thing in either the Muggle or wizarding worlds. What suits my behavior?"

The Potions master sighed and straightened on his stool. "What behavior are we attempting to match?"

"Er ... There have been three times I've disappeared on them — four, if you count right now — about three days apart. I expect I've been edgy before disappearing, and rather mellow when I've come back. I brought them treats from the kitchen, once — no, I guess that was the next day."

"So you're not trying to relate this to the muscle relaxant?"

"Oh no. I already told Ron he could talk to Dumbledore about that, so he knows it's legitimate. But it made him nervous — I think because of the bubble stuff. Last night he was my best mate. This morning, he was heading off with the girls, obviously to talk about me, and could barely manage a 'meet you later.'"

Snape surveyed the bruises again, but he did not ask about the fight. "Three days. That's a fairly long time, as such things go."

"That's what we have to work with."

"Huhn." Snape frowned. "There is ... something I made...." He laughed dryly. "It took Avery months to get over...."

 "What is it?"

"I never named it, as it was not a successful experiment." Black eyes flickered as Severus scanned over to his cauldron and back to Harry. "It would be the perfect thing to make you vulnerable." He smiled predatorily. "Not only would you be almost completely useless for three or four hours, but for an hour beyond that, you would have no magic."

"What?!"

" _That_ was what I wanted. I was trying to create something that would suppress magical abilities, so I could slip it to James and Black, preferably right before Transfiguration, and embarrass them. I came out with two formulas that worked, but both, unfortunately, had such severe emotional effects that it was evident both to the subject and to most witnesses that the subject was under the effects of something. Neither suited my purposes."

"And Avery?" 

"Once I had determined the formula was unsuitable, I made the rest available. Most people were deterred by the magic loss, but Avery would sneak off every few days and get more from me. He was uncharacteristically pleasant on it, too. I might have made him more — he certainly would have paid well — but I was almost certain that long-term use would make him a Squib, and I was afraid his family would have me murdered, for that."

Harry stared. He found the idea of living permanently without magic surprisingly horrifying. "Well, that would be a hideously dumb thing for me to do!" he exclaimed. "For anyone, but me, especially!"

"I even _told_ Avery that it would probably make him a Squib. It still didn't keep him from attacking me, when I refused to make it again. He would have killed me if Rookwood and Lestrange hadn't stepped in."

Harry remembered Avery as a name, as the Death Eater who collapsed at Voldemort's feet, begging for forgiveness for his lack of faith. He had been at the Department of Mysteries, too. Harry chuckled slightly. "Do you suppose he'd go for it, if you made it for him again? Send him a little — 'hey, remember this?'"

Snape's eyes widened as his eyebrows rose. "You," he said, "are _evil._ "

"Is that a compliment?" Harry teased.

"Child, I've been brooding over ways to sabotage potions, damage the effects, the longevity... and you just hand me that!" Snape grinned ferally. "And he's so agreeable on it, too. Let me find some old notes. Avery is going to spend the rest of his life in a charming fog." 

"But wait!" 

"Don't go all noble on me," Snape growled.

"Forget that -- what about my story? Will anyone recognize this stuff?"

"No, but that doesn't matter. You need an image in your head to keep your behavior consistent. This one will do. I just need to mix some up."

"Wait a minute — you want me to actually _take_ this?"

Severus was silent for a moment. He sighed. "I hate the idea -- but you should have it once. It is easier to be consistent to an experience than an imagining." His frown curled into a sneer. "No more than once, understood? But I think it's no more likely to appeal to you than the Cruciatus Curse. I found it deadly dull, myself."

 

**********

 

Ron was silent all the way to the lake. When they stopped by some rocks at the edge, he said:

"Well, that was stupid."

"Punching him?"

"After spending all yesterday getting close to him, again."

"Or maybe for the first time," Ginny put in. Ron shook his head. 

"I don't think it's like that. He _remembers_ everything. He _thinks_ the right way, just more. But something _did_ happen to him during the attack, and most of the ... the old crowd doesn't know. He told me that. Can I see the pictures?"

Ron examined the pictures silently, while Ginny went through her talk. Hermione watched his face drain of color as he looked. When he spoke again, his voice was higher than it should have been. 

"All right. I agree the face is different."

"But?" Hermione asked wryly.

"But the person I spoke to last night was Harry." Ron cut off her attempt at argument. "No, listen! When Harry 'destroyed' Voldemort the first time, Voldemort didn't die, right? His body was destroyed, mostly, but just enough survived to keep his soul here, and intact. At least, that's how Harry explained it to me."

"But that's Voldemort!" Hermione returned, exasperated. "That's because he had protected himself from death with all sorts of Dark magic."

"But Harry's _linked_ to Voldemort. And he has protections of his own. What if the same thing happened to him? Then, somehow, they got his spirit into another body?" 

"That would be Dark Arts. And what about the person who was in the body?" Ginny protested. 

Hermione found herself considering the idea. "Maybe he had a brain injury, or had been kissed by a Dementor." she said. She focused on Ron. "You said Harry told you something had happened to him during the attack. What?"

"He was very vague about it," Ron said. "I caught him taking a potion — he'd thought I was asleep — and asked him what it was. He said it was to deal with a side-effect of the wards coming down — that he wasn't at the house, but the wards failing had still affected him. I think he thought I was afraid he shouldn't be taking this stuff, so he told me I could talk to Dumbledore, but not Pomfrey. He said Pomfrey doesn't know about it. Snape makes the potion for him directly, I guess, but he only knows because he needs to — Dumbledore hasn't told the old crowd, he said, because it would be too much information 'on the wards, and on what happened to me.' That was when I decided I needed to see what you two had found."

"It was Ginny, really," Hermione said. She wondered what the potion did. "How often does he need this potion?"

"Every other day, he said," Ron answered.

"Can't be polyjuice, then. Not unless they've got something with a subtler effect that lasts longer." She frowned. "Can you get me a sample?"

"Probably. I'll try. Shall I go back now, and see if he's out?"

 

Ron went back to his and Harry's dormitory, while Hermione went to the library. She told Ron to meet her there. Ginny stayed outside; Hermione suspected she wanted to be alone.

At the library, Hermione pulled out her first selection of books, again. She had looked everywhere, over the last week, for all the likely spellings of "Mayland," and had worked her way further and further back in time, even looking for a bit in legends. She decided it was time to go back to the obvious books and try some less likely spellings. 

She had just finished with the "lund" variations when Ron came in. He looked annoyed. 

"Harry's got his drawer _locked_ ," he said. "Magically. I can't get in without the countercharm, and it may well let him know that someone tried."

 

**********

 

Harry looked dubiously at the ingredients the Potions master was gathering for the "squib drug," as Harry had named it in his mind. It included Dementor's claws and belladonna berries, among other things. Harry watched Severus measure out a tiny amount of some dark, thick syrup. 

"What's that?"

"Glumbumble treacle."

"Avery _liked_ this stuff?" 

"De gustibus non disputandum est."

"What?" 

"Roughly, 'taste bears no argument.'" 

"Oh." Harry handed over a small spice grinder full of Chizpurfle fangs. "I honestly don't know how I'll manage to swallow this stuff. It's more disgusting than the Polyjuice Potion, and that had Goyle's hair in it."

Severus froze. His head slowly turned to stare at Harry. The motion reminded Harry of a bird of prey. "You stole Goyle's form?" he asked threateningly. 

"It was a long time ago," Harry said hurriedly. The stare did not let up. "My second year. During the Chamber of Secrets thing. Ron and Hermione and I were convinced it was Malfoy, so Ron and I disguised ourselves as Crabbe and Goyle to pump him for information."

A flicker of amusement lessened Severus's disapproval. "And what did you learn?" 

"That Malfoy wasn't the Heir of Slytherin, and that the Slytherin common room is creepy." 

"Creepy?" Severus said frostily.

"Well, wondering if we'd be caught and killed probably had something to do with that." 

"That can affect perceptions," Severus acknowledged. 

"How close are you to ready with your plans?" Harry asked, hoping to turn the conversation from old offenses. "I'm just wondering how long I might need to string them along. It affects what I let them see."

"My plans vary. Some are nearly ready to implement, some nearly theoretical. I still hope to have spy devices, but Flitwick has yet to manage the improvements he hopes for."

"Are you safe, for now?"

"I'm never safe," Snape said bitterly.

"But?"

"The Dark Lord's suspicions have moved to other targets, for the moment. The meeting place near Hogwarts disturbs me."

"Won't the closeness make them easier to spy on, though?"

"It could. Of course, that site may also be intentionally insecure. We may be meant to see what they do there." Severus lit the flame below the ready cauldron. "How are your Gryffindor friends?"

"Difficult."

"I had guessed that from the bruises." 

Harry reddened. "I sort of deserved that."

"Oh?"

"I insinuated that Ron was sharing Hermione with his sister."

Severus coughed and broke into tight laughter. 

"Well, he said they were going walking by the lake, and a lot of the time, people say that when they... um...."

"In my day, as well."

Harry hesitated. Quickly, he forced out the other recent problem. "And Hermione's said she's not my girlfriend."

Severus flinched. He looked at Harry uncertainly. "Had she been?"

"Not quite. We'd kissed...."

Severus relaxed. "Then she chose Weasley, I take it?"

"No ... it was because I won't tell her where I get off to. But she was still willing to be friends. Then I made things worse by saying 'the Dark Lord.'"

Severus looked uncertain what to think of this. "You attacked me for that, last year."

"I remember. Now, I apparently say it without noticing." Harry slouched down on his stool. "It scares me."

 

**********

 

Several hours after lunch, Hermione still had not found any mention of her target, even with Ron's help. It reminded her of the search for Nicolas Flamel, their first year. While Ron was off fetching more books, Hermione became aware of the feeling of being watched. She looked up. Leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, was Draco Malfoy, smirking.

"Having fun?" he taunted.

"Well, I'm not doing schoolwork. What do you want, Malfoy?"

Malfoy pushed off from the wall and took a step towards her. "Oh, I just saw your missing friend — ex-friend, perhaps? — and I wondered if you knew where he gets to, these days."

Hermione bit back a plea for information. Malfoy was unlikely to give her anything he knew she wanted, even information.

"No idea," she said, as if she didn't care.

"He was going into Professor Snape's lab," Draco told her. He looked delighted with this tidbit. "Not the classroom — his _private_ lab. And Snape was in there. I watched for an hour, and neither one came out. What do you think of that?"

"Honestly, Malfoy," said Hermione, through clenched teeth. "I think you know more than we do."

"Does the Boy-Who-Muddles-Through need some special lessons?" Malfoy drawled. "Or is it more _personal_ than that? He's learned a bit of Dark Arts theory, at least, hasn't he?"

"Listen to me, Malfoy. _I don't know._ " 

Malfoy backed up a step and frowned. He studied her. "You'd like to, though, wouldn't you?" he asked coldly.

Hermione hesitated, then acknowledged with a nod. 

"Well, how about a deal, Granger? Quid pro quo on information. I'll tell you what I see, if you provide me the same in return." 

"If I find out anything about Harry, you are the last person I'd tell!"

A spark of interest lit his eyes, and she realized she had revealed more than she intended. He knew she was worried, now. His response, however, was careless and light. "The last, Granger? Really, you should be able to think of worse enemies." 

"I won't bargain!" 

"I will," Ron volunteered.

Malfoy looked as shocked as Hermione felt. They both looked over at the aisle through the stacks, where Ron, his face pale, was standing.

"You, Weasley? I thought Granger was the keeper of your occasional stray thought."

Ron's face contorted with anger, but he kept his voice level. "One type of information only -- I'll let you know when he's missing from Gryffindor, if you let me know if he shows up in the dungeons, and where." 

Malfoy was over to Ron in two quick steps. He held out his hand. "Let's make it a deal, Weasley." Hermione watched Ron hesitate, then grasp the extended hand. They shook quickly. Ron surreptitiously rubbed his palm against the side of his robe afterwards, as if Malfoy's touch was dirty.

"Well, I'll be on my way," Malfoy drawled. "Owl me any time." He looked over at Hermione again. "Not schoolwork?"

"Ever heard the name 'Augustus Mayland?'"

Malfoy's eyes opened wide in shock. He stepped closer and looked down at her list of spellings. The smirk came back. 

"Why would you want to know about him?"

"None of your business."

"Oh?" Malfoy looked disdainfully at her. "I can tell you about Maitland — enough so you can find him in this library. What's in it for me?"

"Enough to find him?"

"And a bit more. Information you won't find here." 

"What do you want?"

Malfoy's eyes narrowed. " _He'_ s gone missing on you — don't deny it; you gave that much away. Tell me which days, and I'll tell you about Maitland."

Hermione thought. She didn't see how this information could hurt Harry — it was certainly far less dangerous to him than what Ron had promised — but Malfoy wanted it, and that made her nervous. Malfoy shifted with exaggerated impatience. 

"Well, Granger? I find your existence unpleasant, never mind your presence. Don't expect me to wait here while you dither."

"The first day," she said reluctantly, "Tuesday, that is, that Friday, this Tuesday ...." 

"And now." 

Hermione nodded. _What have I done?_ She tried to conceal the panic at her small betrayal. _Whathaveidone?_

"Any others?"

"I'm not sure." 

Malfoy nodded. "Good enough. Mr. Maitland was a friend of Father's. I never met him, to remember. He died when I was a baby. I remember Father saying he was in Harry's father's year at Hogwarts. They had hoped he would be able to persuade James Potter to support the Dark Lord."

"As if!" Ron said contemptuously. Malfoy stared back at him with evident disdain. 

"The Potters were an old, wealthy, pureblooded family ... prior to Harry's mother. It was not unreasonable to expect their heir to have some measure of pride in his heritage." 

"Perhaps he had sufficient pride in his heritage to not feel the need to put down everyone else," Hermione said sharply. 

Malfoy sneered. "Perhaps he was enthralled by a scheming Mudblood beauty who tried to use him as her ticket to wizard society," he retorted.

"How dare you talk about Harry's mum like that!" Ron whispered furiously. "I'll tell him!"

"I merely said," Malfoy hissed, "that it is an equally valid view of what happened. I expect that _Harry_ will understand that." 

 


	41. The class of '77

Once Malfoy was gone, Hermione went to speak to Madam Pince. She asked if there was a way to find information on students of a particular year.

"Every fifty years," the librarian said precisely, "the Hogwarts class lists are collected, together with some notes and pictures. Did the person you are looking for attend Hogwarts before 1949?"

"No," Hermione answered. "He'd be class of seventy-seven."

"You'd have to speak to Professor McGonagall, then." Madam Pince waved impatiently to the side. "Or you could try the news archives. We also have —" her mouth scrunched in distaste — "surplus photographs in the archive room. They are boxed by decade, and shelved above bound periodicals." 

 

Hermione relayed this news to Ron, and they immediately went to the archive room, to check photographs from the seventies. It took them a while to find the boxes, which were hidden behind bound years of _Changes in Transfiguration,_ and almost as long to find the one labeled "Photos — 1970-1979". Hermione got it off the shelf with _Leviosa_ , and moved it over to the archive room table. A fine mist of dust fell slowly in its wake.

 

Within the box, the photographs were not in any order, and only a few were labeled with either a date or names. They also came in several different sizes, making them difficult to organize. Hermione finally took out an inch-high stack for herself, and another for Ron. 

"We're just going to have to slog through them," she said. She pointed to her first photograph. " _Titilio_ _,_ " she commanded. A label appeared briefly at the bottom of the photo, listing two names. Ron peered over her shoulder to look at it. 

"Fitzy and Grace?"

"The Label Charm is vaguer than a true Identification Charm, but it's easier. Those names are how those people thought of themselves when this was taken." 

"Should I do that to all of them?"

"Just the ones that have an older, male student you haven't seen yet." 

 

They spent a long time searching through photographs. After about half an hour, Ron exclaimed:

"Look — doesn't he look like Harry?"

He showed Hermione a picture of a fourth or fifth-year boy with messy dark hair and dark eyes. As they watched, the boy ruffled up his hair, then took a snitch from his pocket and began playing with it. A larger boy moved into place at his right shoulder and crossed his arms over his chest. Another, smaller boy mimicked the motion to the boy's left. A fourth boy shifted restlessly as he spoke to the first one.

"Titilio," Hermione commanded, with an absent flick of her wand. A label appeared. 

_Padfoot — Remus -- James Potter — Pettigrew_

Ron chuckled. "I think this may be _better_ than the Identification Charm." 

"James Potter," Hermione said out loud. She frowned as he backed up a step to speak over his shoulder to Sirius. She snorted "And doesn't he think he's king of the world?" she said sarcastically. The arrogant look on James's face bothered her, not just because of what it revealed about him, but because it did not match Harry's arrogant look. After a minute of observing James Potter, she decided it was a different sort of arrogance. James Potter had total confidence in his importance and always had. He expected to be deferred to. She frowned. _Like Malfoy, in a way._

Remus shifted over beside Sirius and looked forward, smiling now, but with eager excitement rather than good humor. Hermione realized she had been looking at the picture for long enough that her label had vanished. She recast the spell. A different label appeared:

_The Marauders_

They found a picture of a Professor McGonagall (looking much younger) and Professor Dumbledore (looking about the same) pelting each other with snowballs. Occasionally, they showed each other pictures of James Potter or Lily Evans. Temporarily empty photos, they piled to the side.

"Ew!" Ron said suddenly. "Two blokes kissing!" He put the picture aside quickly. 

"Let me see!" Hermione said, reaching across him.

"Hermione!" Ron put his hand over the picture, although he'd put it face-down on the table. "Why would you want to see that?"

Hermione thought. "Well, what would you say if I said 'oh — two girls kissing!'"

"Er... 'Let me see?'" Ron admitted, reddening.

"Well, there you go. Now let me _see,_ okay?"

When they turned over the picture, however, it was empty. 

"Uh... They probably wanted some privacy," Ron muttered. Hermione rolled her eyes and set the photo to one side. 

 

**********

 

"I'm bored already," Harry said dully. His mouth felt too thick and unwieldy to continue, though he wanted to say that the cauldron side he had been staring at was not interesting, merely in front of his eyes.

"I'm not surprised. It's been three hours." 

"What? Ah, fuck." 

"Language, Potter." Severus's dry laugh came from a distance. "But under the circumstances, I won't take points." 

 

**********

 

It was purely Ron's Quidditch obsession that prompted him to cast the label spell on the Gryffindor Quidditch team picture, but he could not have missed the Beater who thought of himself by his full name: Augustus Maitland. 

"Hermione?"

"Not Quidditch!"

"No -- I think I found him." 

 

**********

 

"Do me a favor?" Harry managed, some unknown time after thinking he should ask.

"If you want the lights off, no. I'm working."

"Floo Remus and tell him I'll be ... late?"

 

**********

 

"So he was a Gryffindor." Hermione frowned at the picture. "Do you suppose he was a friend of Professor Snape's? I mean, when Snape was a student?"

"I can't image _anyone_ being friends with Snape. Certainly not a Gryffindor." 

"But that's what he said — 'Gryffindor friends.'" Hermione brought the picture closer and peered at the label. "It has a silent 't?' No wonder I couldn't find him!"

 

**********

 

"I want this to be over, now." There was a long pause. "I _really_ want this to be over, now."

"I would guess you have another hour, at least. But it gets pleasanter after that — as long as you don't need magic."

"Avery was insane, wasn't he?" 

 

**********

 

Now that Ron and Hermione knew what Augustus Maitland looked like, they set to scanning quickly through the pictures, looking for more photographs of him. Hermione had gone through three inches of the photographs before she looked over and noticed the male couple was back in the photograph that had disturbed Ron.

"They're back!" she exclaimed, and picked up the photo. Two slender boys, one with light brown hair, one with black, were whispering and kissing. The activity was effectively hiding their features. Finally, the smaller, brown-haired boy turned his back to the other, and leaned rapturously into a hug from behind. Hermione gasped. 

"Take it back to your room, then," Ron hissed.

"No, look! It's Professor Lupin!" 

Ron looked, then hid his eyes. He looked again. "Blimey!" The dark-haired boy was kissing a young Remus Lupin's neck, and Lupin, his head tilted back, was alternately gasping and giggling. Finally he pushed the other boy's face away from him and said something, smiling. For a bare second, the black-haired boy was looking out at them, a sly smile on his face, then took his companion's hand and tugged him gently out of the photograph.

"He looked familiar, too," Hermione said thoughtfully. "I should have cast the charm." 

"Did you see what house he was in?"

"No — Lupin was always blocking it the crest." she sighed. "Oh well — he'll come back. Should we check the news archives, now that we now how the name is spelled? We probably have time before dinner." She sighed. "After that, I need to get back to my school work."

 

Hermione suggested they start with the Daily Prophet issues from 1977, when Augustus would have graduated. It was more tedious than either of them expected. The old Daily Prophets were bound by month, and each month had many occurrences of "Maitland." Augustus, it seemed, was from a large family, with at least two members in the Ministry of Magic, and more mentioned on the society pages. They found one picture from a charity dinner for "Unplottable Ever," a land preservation society, which showed Augustus, a handsome, broad-shouldered young man with golden blond hair, standing next to wiry, dark-haired James Potter. The two had their hands on each other's near shoulders, but the pose seemed artificial — they never looked at each other or bent towards each other, but looked straight forward, or off to the side. The caption read, " _Eligible bachelors **Augustus Maitland** and **James Potter** study and play Quidditch together at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._ "

"Looks like somebody paired an Abraxan and a Granian, doesn't it?" Ron asked.

"I was thinking a tiger and a cheetah," Hermione answered. "But yes. Don't they get tired of smiling like that?" 

Dinner time came before they had made it to September. 

"We're going about this wrong," Ron said, as they headed down to the Great Hall. 

"Oh?"

"We should look for his obituary, shouldn't we? We know about when he died. That should give us an idea if and when he did thing anything else that would have made the paper." 

 

At the Gryffindor table, they saw Harry. Hermione was uneasy about the fight that morning, but Harry just looked up at them and smiled absently. He apparently hadn't gone to Madam Pomfrey, and now had a black eye and some visible bruising. Ron squeezed in next to him, leaving Hermione to sit across the table. 

"Look, Harry," Ron said, nudging Harry to try to get his friend to look at him. "I'm sorry about this morning." 

"Hm?" Harry responded. He looked at Ron and blinked, then smiled warmly. "Er ... not to worry. I was worse, wasn't I?"

"You all right, mate?" 

Hermione wasn't surprised Ron had asked. She would have expected Harry to be angry or apologetic, but he just sounded preoccupied.

Harry shrugged. "I just need a good night's sleep." His voice strengthened as he turned the smile on her. It was disturbingly bland. His voice had no hidden nuances as he asked sincerely, "How about you? Did you two have a good day?"

"Oh, loads of fun," Ron said sarcastically. "She's kept me in the library running books for hours."

"We found Augustus Maitland!" Hermione announced triumphantly. 

"Congratulations." Harry's smile grew a little broader as he inclined his head. "Did someone tell you how to spell it?" he asked.

Hermione stared. _He couldn't have known...._ "You knew," she accused. 

Harry nodded. "Silent 'T." He yawned.

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

Harry shrugged. "You didn't ask." He smiled again, engagingly.

"I asked you to help! We've spent hours on this!" 

"Sorry, Hermione. I did tell you I wasn't helping."

Hermione got up and walked to the other end of the table. Harry did not follow her. Ron, though he looked at her often, remained with Harry. 

 

**********

 

Harry was still feeling slightly disconnected when he left dinner. He still needed to talk to Professor Lupin. Severus had rescheduled the meeting to evening for him. Harry wished it had been changed to the next day. He had stayed with his father until the magic came back, and he felt perfectly capable of thinking and talking, but he knew he was not really _feeling_ correctly. Hermione's anger and Ron's contrition both seemed equally unimportant. Intellectually, he realized that his indifference would have consequences, later. 

He checked the time and discovered he had half an hour before meeting Remus. He decided he would go outside for a walk, then, if he still felt this unsure of himself when he returned, he would tell Remus the truth — or, at least, part of it.

It was a crisp, pleasant evening. Harry found himself by the lake, looking at the water. He levitated a dead branch over the water, skimming its shriveled leaves across the surface, here and there, until a tentacle reached up and snatched it in a contracting coil. The little twigs broke in a rapid series of crunches. Harry smiled. 

"I could never, ever, give this up." 

He sighed. "I think I can play normal for Remus," he said quietly, then evaluated the statement. _Yes. I'm close enough._ He headed back inside. 

 

At the door of Lupin's office, he paused, then knocked. 

"Come in," Lupin called. 

Harry pushed the door open. He bit back Remus's first name — that was part of how he had got in trouble in class. "Hello, Professor Lupin," he said politely. 

"Hello Mr. Potter. Sit down, please." 

Harry sat down. Lupin was sitting behind his desk, his hands clasped before him. He surveyed Harry unhappily. "You've been fighting." 

Harry looked down and nodded. 

"Is that why you couldn't come this afternoon?"

Harry thought. "No. I ... I was working with F- Severus, and I had a lab accident. I wasn't in any shape to —"

"Harry," Lupin warned. Harry stopped, puzzled. 

Lupin unclasped his hands. He lifted in his fingers a small orb that swirled with black and grey, and he looked past it into Harry's eyes.

"What's that?" Harry asked.

"A simple Verifier. It turns black when the person touching it, or someone speaking to them, lies." As Lupin spoke, the swirls of black lightened to grey, and the grey to white. 

"That's not fair!" Harry burst out.

Lupin looked startled. "That you not be able to lie to me?" 

"Yes!"

"I hadn't realized it was a necessary part of surviving our conversations," Lupin said coldly. 

"Well, it's not usually, but.... Look, it's not your business. You can't give me veritaserum —"

"Veritaserum compels you to tell the truth. This does not. You can still look at me and say 'I won't tell you that.'"

"How reassuring." Harry sat back sullenly. The orb was white, now. "Why did you decide you needed this for our conference?"

"I hadn't thought I did." Remus shook his head slightly. "I have it for next week's lessons, and was just running some tests on it when you came in." 

The orb stayed white. That was reassuring. Harry considered it thoughtfully. "Leave it out where I can see it," he said.

"Oh?"

"If I can't lie to you, you can't lie to me. Fair?"

Remus nodded. "Fair." He let his hand rest on the desk, but continued to hold the Verifier. He looked very tired. 

"How's the map coming?" he asked lightly.

"The what?"

"The —" Remus looked up at Harry. He seemed startled. A wisp of grey shot through the Verifier. "Never mind. Er... How are things with Ron and Hermione?"

"Lousy." 

They both, Harry noticed, glanced at the Verifier, which stayed white.

"All right," Professor Lupin straightened. "Why didn't you come this afternoon?"

"None of your business."

"You disrupted my schedule. That is my business." 

The Verifier accepted both this statements. Harry nodded at it. "It evaluates honesty," he noted, "not truth."

"Yes. Now don't change the subject."

"I stand by my original answer."

"And I by mine." Lupin leaned forward threateningly. "If you won't answer me, I will give you detention and speak to your father." 

Harry burst out laughing.

"What?" Lupin demanded.

"I've never had someone threaten to speak to my father, before." Harry smirked. "Considering he was involved, I think it unlikely he will give you any satisfaction." 

Remus shook his head and sighed. "Harry... Is there some portion of an answer you could give me?"

Harry thought. Finally, he said, "I was incompetent due to a potion which I took intentionally, but not for fun. That's as much as I can tell you."

"Did you need to take it this afternoon?"

"No, but we hadn't realized how long it would incapacitate me. I'm apparently more sensitive to it than Severus expected. He said it was lack of previous exposure to some of the components." 

Remus looked down at still-white globe and nodded slightly. "All right, then." He rolled the ball contemplatively over his fingers. "Has Severus been teaching you Dark Arts?" 

Harry started to say "No," then caught himself, remembering his father explaining how he could cast the Cruciatus Curse. "He has not given me any practical lessons in Dark Arts," he said precisely. 

Remus responded with an incredulous look. "But?" he asked weakly.

"He's let me read whatever I want of his books, provided I discuss them with him. Clarifying materials in those has included explaining some Dark Arts theory. He has been quite clear that I am not to try to do any of it." Harry hesitated. "I haven't wanted to do any of it, so far," he said. The Verifier accepted that, as well. 

Remus nodded. He looked a bit happier. "Just Sev being Sev, then," he murmured. He looked at the orb, again. Harry had the sudden feeling he might be about to put it down. 

"Why didn't you tell me about the werewolf?" he asked quickly.

"What?" 

Wisps of grey. Remus understood, but was pretending to not to. Harry pushed. "Your werewolf friend." 

"Because it wasn't your business." 

Harry glared. Remus looked back at him nearly as angrily. He gripped the orb tightly, aware, Harry thought, of how it would look if he put it down, now. 

"She hasn't _done_ anything. She's not guilty just because she's a werewolf. You have no right to know who is and who isn't, just so you can distrust them, or treat them badly!"

"She's met with Voldemort." 

Remus flinched, then glanced at the orb. He hadn't known — or perhaps hadn't wanted to.

"She can speak to anyone she pleases. She _hasn't done anything!_ "

"Yet."

The answering flash of pain on Remus's face told Harry more than enough. He pressed. "But you stand by your friends, don't you, Remus? Whatever they do." He sneered. "Loyal as a Hufflepuff." 

Remus looked down. "She hasn't done anything," he repeated. "She could still get out." 

Wisps of grey indicated his doubts. Harry pushed back a feeling of sympathy. 

"How did you end up in Gryffindor?" he asked contemptuously.

Remus twitched. He looked nervously up at Harry. "Honestly?" he said bitterly. "I wouldn't let the hat put me in Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw. Sirius had already been sorted into Gryffindor, and James was sure he would be. It said, 'Gryffindor, eh?'" Remus imitated the hat's odd tone rather well, Harry thought. "'Well, you have physical courage in plenty, and a strong sense of honor, though all turned in -- rather odd. You could do. I think you'd be happier in Hufflepuff, though, or even Ravenclaw. More people you'd like, there.' But I kept pleading 'Gryffindor, please!' and it relented."

"Ah." Harry smiled slightly at Remus's discomfort. He inclined his head toward the white orb. "It wanted Slytherin for me," he offered, in a subtle apology for pushing.

"What?" Remus said in astonishment. 

"It said 'You could be great, you know' and 'Slytherin will help you achieve greatness,' and I said 'not Slytherin, not Slytherin,' until it relented and said 'well then — better be Gryffindor,' and there I was." He looked pointedly at the orb in Remus's hand. "Dumbledore said it was because of my link to Voldemort, but I don't think so, anymore. I think it's that I'm kind of sneaky." He thought. "Also, I'd probably make a very powerful Dark wizard. I've got that horrible temper and flashes of ordering people around. Slytherin would have let me get away with that, more." 

"Yes." 

"Someday, I'd like to do a poll of the entire school — anonymous of course — and see how many members of each house are in the Hat's first choice of house. We place such importance on house, and it does indicate something, but not, I think, always the things we think it does."

Remus smiled at him, and put down the Verifier. "I suspect you're right." He sighed and looked down at his desk. Absently, he shifted some papers to the side. "How is Severus?"

Harry shrugged. "About the same. He was actually sort of cheerful, today — until I showed up with a black eye and problems, anyway."

"He's been glaring at me at the staff table."

"Over the woman-werewolf he saw speak to Voldemort, I bet. That's why I have restrictions with you, again."

"You'd think he'd never known me."

"He said if you were ... being coerced, somehow, knowing you were under watch might give you an excuse. It's not completely distrust." 

"So he's looking out for my interests, is he?" Remus looked bitter. "I don't believe him."

 


	42. Murders and Memories

 

After he left Lupin's office, Harry went straight to bed, and he slept late into Sunday morning. He woke with his mouth dry and a strange unfocused feeling. He decided to assume both were side effects of the potion, and memorize them for faking later. This, unfortunately, kept him focused on his discomfort. He spent what was left of the morning regarding his untouched assignments with dismay, but not feeling up to starting any of them. 

He went down to lunch as early as possible. He felt better after the first glass of pumpkin juice, and normal by time he had finished a few slices of bread. Of course, he realized, he still had unstarted assignments in both his Monday morning classes, Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts. If he'd gone down to the kitchen when he woke, he might have made some progress by now, he thought glumly. 

"Harry?"

Ron was standing on the far side of the table. Harry felt himself blushing when he met his friend's eyes. _Does he have any idea how gone I was last night?_

"Uh... hi." Harry thought frantically. "Sit with me?"

Ron bit his lip. "Yeah," he said. He slid into the seat across from Harry. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks." 

An awkward silence descended.

"Is ... is Hermione really mad at me?" Harry tried. Ron nodded. Harry looked down at his plate. "Find out anything more about Augustus?"

Ron looked confused for a moment before replying, "Maitland? No, we both had too much schoolwork we hadn't touched. We're supposed to go back to it after lunch. Want to come and sit with us?"

"I guess I could. Will Hermione let me?"

"She might." 

 

An hour later, Harry found himself sitting in the archive room of the Hogwarts library, trying to research a Potions essay while Hermione and Ron checked the indexed pages of January and February issues of the Daily Prophet. Ron occasionally spoke to him. Hermione was pretending he didn't exist.

Halfway through March, Hermione gasped.

"What?" Harry said, forgetting that he wasn't interested. 

"He was a Death Eater!" Hermione replied, obviously forgetting that Harry didn't exist. 

"Well, I knew _that!_ " The words were out before Harry could stop them, and Hermione looked up at him with deep reproach. 

"He can't have been!" Ron exclaimed. "I mean, he was a Gryffindor!" 

Harry's incredulity met Hermione's exasperation, and they shared a brief moment of connection. 

"Ron, does the name 'Peter Pettigrew' mean anything to you?" Harry said sharply.

"Well, yeah but he was... he was weak, or something. This guy seems...."

"Peter was a whiny sycophant who liked watching his clever, powerful friends bully people, and Voldemort was even more clever and powerful than Sirius and James, and far more of a bully," Harry said coldly. Hermione goggled at his description of the Marauders. Harry pressed on before she could say anything. "I suspect Augustus was a true believer, proud to be protecting the wizarding world from the Muggle menace."

"By murdering children?" Hermione said sharply.

Harry closed his eyes. "Extra points," he said dully.

"What?"

Harry opened his eyes again. "Ja — Forget it! I heard some of them — the Death Eaters — scored kills. I don't know if it's true. The person who told me didn't know either — just stupid gossip." He looked nervously at Hermione. "Can I see it?"

"Wait," Hermione said. Harry waited while she read. Finally, she pushed the open volume across the table to him. Harry bent over the article, and Ron leaned in beside him. A photograph showed a country cottage with the Dark Mark hanging over it. Two hysterical children were being restrained by men with Ministry badges. One of them was holding on to the reins of a winged horse, despite the efforts of another Ministry man to prise them from his fingers. A covered lump that may have been a body lay behind them. Another was being carried off on a stretcher. To the side, a portrait of a handsome, blond man looked disinterestedly to the side. Beneath that, a heavy-built, cheerful-looking woman looked straight forward out of her portrait and nodded. Beneath the three pictures, a headline blared:

 

> **DE Maitland Kills Auror Taylor, Children; Dies**
> 
>  
> 
> Auror Gwendolyn Taylor and two of her four children were murdered early this morning in a suspected Death Eater attack. Their apparent killer, Augustus Maitland (son of Marcus Maitland and Precious Brown) was in turn trampled to death by the family's Granian after being petrified by Taylor's oldest child, thirteen-year-old Samantha. Taylor's Muggle husband, the stated reason for her target status, was away on business at the time of the attack. 
> 
> Though several of the Maitlands have been accused of ties to You-Know-Who, the discovery of the Dark Mark on Augustus Maitland's body came as a surprise to Ministry officials. Mr. Marcus Maitland, a prominent member of the Wizengamot, stated that he was shocked to be told his son....

 

"Yeah, I bet," Harry muttered. "No idea what half of Hogwarts had known years earlier...." He caught himself. Maybe the man _had_ had no idea. He suspected he might know more about many of his classmates than their parents did. He had known more about Fred and George's sixth and seventh year activities than Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had, and the elder Weasleys were both intelligent and caring. He had no idea if Marcus Maitland had been either.

After that, the article went into the details of the murders, which left Harry feeling slightly sick. The youngest child had been with his mother and was killed with her. The oldest two had told their younger sister to run, while the boy had tried to summon their Granian. Augustus had hit the fleeing child with the Killing Curse when she was halfway across the garden, and her older sister had fired a Petrifaction Hex at the source of the green light. There was some suspicion that the boy may have intentionally had the horse trample the petrified attacker, though the children claimed the Granian attacked spontaneously. Quoted experts on Granian behavior took both sides of the issue. 

Finally, the article ended. Harry put the collection aside, determined not to look at the obituary of Auror Gwendolyn Taylor, or the article on her Muggle husband. 

"What do you think?" Ron pressed.

Harry couldn't think of anything to say. He had plenty of thoughts, all racing uneasily around in his head: _That was what Augustus did — what did my father do? Why was he alone? Was he supposed to have a partner? Was it Severus? Was he alone because of the game? Was there a game? Did they get extra points for full families? Did he really feel he was doing the right thing? Did Severus mourn him?_

"I just..." Ron slouched down to rest his chin on his clasped hands. "I don't understand." 

Harry shook his head and tried to sort something out of the muddle of his thoughts. "Death Eaters usually work in pairs or groups, don't they? Where was his partner?"

Ron grabbed his wrist and Harry found himself looking into a disbelieving stare. " _What?_ " Ron demanded.

Harry scowled. "Look, Ron, it was horrible, and sick, and all that, and what can I say? Those poor kids, having to watch their mother and younger brother and sister die, and to be killers themselves, at thirteen and eleven. But it was a typical attack, except for one thing — Maitland didn't have backup, and that's odd." 

Ron shook his head slightly. "I'm not sure it was, back then." 

"It was! Remember what your father said, after the World Cup — "Death Eaters hunt like wolves?"

"Why did Snape have us look this up, though?" Hermione complained. "There must be something else...."

"No," Harry said emphatically. "This is it. He just knew that Ron — and he _was_ addressing Ron, recall — didn't believe he couldn't trust a fellow Gryffindor. Probably there was more to it than that — times that Snape couldn't trust Maitland, because Maitland had that honor thing going -- but they're nothing you'll find in the paper, I'm sure." He met Hermione's eyes, then Ron's. Still holding Ron's gaze, he said:

"Augustus Maitland was a Gryffindor. Augustus Maitland was a Death Eater, who murdered for Voldemort. That is all you need to know." Harry shuddered. "No — more than that. You cannot assume by other houses, either — a Slytherin might be your ally, a Hufflepuff might stand by you to the death." He frowned. "A Ravenclaw might cry on you at every opportunity." 

Hermione choked and covered her mouth. Harry flashed her an uneasy smile. She looked down and pretended to be engrossed in her reading. 

 

Harry went back to his Potions essay. Now and then, Ron or Hermione would comment on some information on Augustus which one of them had found. Hermione did not speak to Harry of her own accord, but she did not return to ignoring his existence. He finished his Potions essay and started on his Defense Against the Dark Arts work.

"Dinner?" Ron asked, looking at Hermione, then Harry. Both nodded, and they went down to the Great Hall together. 

Ron sat between Hermione and Harry, but none of them talked, much. Harry was relieved when Teresa sat on his other side. They chatted about Quidditch for most of the meal. He decided, again, that she was a good kid. 

 

After dinner, Harry, Ron and Hermione went back to the library. Harry resumed work on his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay, and Ron and Hermione went back to looking at news articles. Eventually, they got bored of that. 

"Shall we look at the photographs, again?" Hermione suggested. "We might be able to find out if he and Professor Snape were friends."

Harry clamped his mouth shut. He heard Ron answer reluctantly:

"I suppose. Look, we're not going to be able to spend as much time on this as we have done...."

"I know. I think the pictures are only for weekends. Let's look, though. We've got another hour."

"What pictures?" Harry asked.

"Oh — there are boxes of photographs, in here."

"We found lots of your dad, Harry!" Ron said cheerily. "Come look."

"And one of Professor Lupin kissing another boy," Hermione confided. "When he was a student, I mean — about our age."

Harry narrowly bit back a question as to whom Remus had been kissing. Instead, he said: 

"I wonder if he knows that's here. I'd guess not, wouldn't you?" He looked severely at Hermione, who blushed. 

"Maybe not. People don't usually look at these, though — they were almost hidden."

Harry held his hand out.

"Give me the photo. I'll take it to him."

"You can't do that!" Hermione said, shocked. "It's library property!"

"It's Remus. Give it to me." 

"He has a point, Hermione," Ron contributed. "I mean, that might be kind of embarrassing for him, especially where he's a professor, and all. Even if it was a girl, it's really not — I mean, you wouldn't want the younger students seeing that."

"They're just kissing and talking," Hermione protested. She pulled out the picture and showed it to Harry. He took one look at the dark-haired boy behind Remus, and tried to snatch the photograph from her hand. She kept a tight hold on it, though, and he was unwilling to tear it. 

"Harry!" she protested. 

"Give it to me. I'll take it to Remus." 

"At least let me run a Label Charm on it first."

"It's none of your business," Harry flinched at the hysterical tightness in his own voice. _Let it go, let it go...._

"Oy, mate!" Ron reached over to lay a hand on Harry's arm. "It's not _that_ racy. He may get a bit of ragging over it, but it's only kissing, like Hermione says."

Harry released the photo. Hermione pointed her wand at it and said, " _Titilio_ _._ " 

"What does it say?" asked Ron. Hermione held the picture out to him. At the bottom, it was labeled " _Sev_ _ & Remus_." 

"Sev?" Ron asked.

Hermione shrugged. "I have no idea."

"Now can I take it to Remus?" Harry pleaded. 

Hermione sighed and handed him the picture. "All right." 

 

 

Remus was slow to answer the door, and he looked more worn than he had the night before. Harry thought the moon must be close. 

"Harry?" he asked.

Harry slipped inside and took his Potions text from his bag. "Did you know there were student photographs in the library?" he asked. 

"No. Does it matter?"

Harry took the photo out of the book, where he had put it to protect it from bending. "Hermione and Ron found this." 

Remus took the photograph and looked at it. A small intake of breath was his first reaction. Harry watched Remus's eyes sadden, even as he smiled slightly. 

"He never shows his face, does he?" he said softly. 

"Scarcely ever. They didn't figure out who it was, even after the Labeling Charm said 'Sev.'" 

"Severus, of course, would object to this far more than I do." 

"Yes, but I persuaded them to let me give it to you, and I thought they might ask you about it." Harry smiled wryly. "I'm lying to them about too many things, already — no need to add unnecessary ones." He met Remus's eyes. "And he'd scream and burn it, or something. It's a nice picture; someone should have it."

"Thank you, Harry."

"No blackmailing him, now."

"Of course not." Remus smiled. "One, I wouldn't be so cruel, and two, I wouldn't dare. Go to bed, now." 

 

Harry could not go to bed — he had four more inches to do on his essay. When it was very late, and the common room was quiet, Ron came and sat next to him. Harry finished his sentence and looked up.

"Yes?"

"I was thinking about Voldemort," Ron began, "and this trying to live forever thing, and I wondered ... can you transfer your self to another body?"

"Yes," Harry answered. _Must he ask this now?_ _It has to be past midnight._ "It wouldn't help, though. The receiving body is too strained by it, and will die within a year."

"Oh." Ron looked down. "How do you know these things?"

"It was in some of my law reading. Transference used to be applied in cases where one person had given another a fatal injury. The dying party was sometimes given the body of his killer, so that he would have time to order his affairs. The last use of the practice was in the fifties, I think. Since it had to be done quickly, there were known cases where the killer was wrongly identified, and the practice fell out of favor. The transferred person sometimes goes a bit mad, as well." He looked down at his paper.

"Listen, Ron, could this wait? I don't want to start thinking about more murders, and I need to finish this paper before I go to bed." 

"Sure. Um... Thanks." Ron shifted. "Well, good night, then." 

"Good _night,_ Ron," Harry said firmly. 

Ron left.

 


	43. Soul Music

 

Monday morning, Harry woke up late, again, and had barely time to grab some toast and jam before the end of breakfast. He hurried off to Potions. Malfoy caught his eye when he entered and nodded to the seat beside his own. Harry, with a slight twinge of apprehension, sat beside the Slytherin. 

He had not quite got all his things out and ready before Snape came in. The professor reprimanded him for his laziness and took ten points from Gryffindor. He also looked distrustfully between him and Malfoy. Harry gave the barest shrug, and Snape pivoted and glided off to the front of the room. 

"This week," he said, "we are starting concealment potions. Today we will do the simplest of these, the Hunter's Stealth Ointment, which prevents the leaving of any scent. As those of you with any facility in Herbology will recall, the leaves of Diana's Treasure will do this, to some extent, when simply rubbed on the body and the soles of the shoes. The Ointment, however, combines this natural masking ability with several magical agents of occlusion, producing a far more powerful...."

By the end of class, Harry knew quite a lot about masking agents. Malfoy had not interfered with him in any way. However, as he was packing up, Malfoy said:

"Walk with me."

Again, they let the rest of the class get a bit ahead. Harry was expecting something about Malfoy's father, or perhaps an attack, or a question about Dark Arts. He was taken by surprise when Malfoy asked:

"Why are your friends — or former friends, as it may be — interested in Augustus Maitland?"

Harry tossed up his hands in exasperation. "Professor Snape mentioned him!" he said. "That's it — just 'you would find his history educational' to Ron, when Ron was being House-blinded about something. Except he did it when Hermione was there, and she latched on."

"Why would Snape mention _him,_ though?" Malfoy asked, as they started up the stairs. "Was he important?"

"I think just as a Gryffindor Death Eater," Harry explained. "Not like they haven't already met a Gryffindor Death Eater, but Ron managed to be shocked, anyway."

Malfoy looked thoughtful. A landing further up, he said. "All right. I give. Who?" 

"What? Oh, Pettigrew ... Wormtail. A Marauder, no less."

"Marauder! How would you know that?"

Harry looked curiously at Malfoy. "Er ... other Marauders told me?"

Malfoy looked puzzled. "We must be talking about different groups. The Marauders _I've_ heard of were a group of clever, aggressive Gryffindors about twenty years ago —"

"Headed by James Potter."

Malfoy stopped short. "Your father was a _Marauder?_ "

Harry rolled his eyes. "Yes, _that_ James Potter."

"Do you know who the others were?"

"Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin." 

Malfoy stared. "Professor Lupin doesn't strike me as the sort."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Malfoy! You must know the difference between someone who'll cause trouble on his own, and someone who'll go along when his best friends are cajoling and teasing and saying it will be fun."

"Oh." Malfoy considered this for a moment, then smirked. "Yes, I do." He raised his eyebrows. "And your father?"

"Oh, absolute trouble. Even the people who loved him say so."

 

Harry and Malfoy walked into Defense Against the Dark Arts together. Harry looked for Ron and saw he was already seated with Hermione. There were no free seats adjacent to theirs. Harry spotted a free seat next to Neville, up at the front of the room. As he approached it, he was aware of his classmates watching him walk beside Malfoy. Harry rather expected Ron to glare at the Slytherin, but Ron seemed to be avoiding looking at Malfoy at all. Harry sat by Neville, and Malfoy sat down across the aisle, next to Terry Boot, whom he made shift over. 

At the front of the room, Professor Lupin was fiddling with an odd looking piece of equipment. It had a long, grey cylinder, about the height and width of a cat, but twice as long, set on a wooden base with two dials on it. Harry was close enough to see him set one of the dials as low as it would go. When everyone was seated, Lupin set his wand to the device, causing a quick rising scale to emit from it. The scale changed to a steady, quiet tone, which stilled as Lupin stepped to the side. He turned to the class. 

"Good morning, everyone. This week, and the next, I plan to review a number of devices commonly used in detecting Dark Arts, enemies, danger, and deceit. I'm sure all of you have encountered some such device — a Sneakascope, or a Foe Glass. There are many of them, and all have their uses — also their limitations. Today's device is a Dark Detector of the Kerner design. It emits a tone in the presence of Dark energies, with the tone and volume varying by the type and intensity of the energy."

Ernie Macmillan raised his hand. 

"Yes, Ernie?"

"Do you set it off?"

Lupin smiled slightly. "A good question. It depends on the phase of the moon. As I expect you noticed, the device now emits a slight tone when I am close to it." He stepped towards the Dark Detector, causing it to produce a quiet, high tone, then stepped away again. "This is really the most spectacular of the devices I will show you, and normally I would save it for the end of the session, however, by next Friday, which is the day of the full moon, I would need to shout to be heard over the alarm my disease would evoke." 

He scanned across all of them. "With this information, you should be able to determine the chief limitation of this device, explain why it is not admissible as evidence of any wrongdoing, and identify one of your classmates who will set it off dramatically. Anyone?" 

An awkward silence descended on the class. Neville glanced past Harry at Malfoy. Harry looked at Remus's tranquil smile, and decided the professor couldn't be referring to Malfoy. Remus saw this demonstration as harmless. Sighing, Harry raised his hand.

"Yes, Harry?"

"Me, sir?"

"Quite right. Ten points to Gryffindor. Please come demonstrate."

Reluctantly, Harry stood up. Everyone was staring at him. He decided he would not be embarrassed. He drew himself up straight, and walked proudly to the front of the room, turning in front of Lupin to face the Kerner Dark Detector. A step towards it, and it emitted a loud, deep scream. Despite his resolve, Harry jumped back. Someone giggled nervously. 

More cautiously, Harry stepped forward again. While Remus's presence had caused only a high, quiet, wail, Harry's provoked a deafening, strident roar, which continued without break or modulation. This time he was ready for the racket, and stood still until Remus motioned him back. 

"There," said Lupin. He rubbed slightly at the ear that had been closest to the alarm. "Now, you will recall that I said you should all know one of your classmates would do this. Can any of you tell me what limitation of the Kerner Dark Detector we have just witnessed? Padma?"

"The Kerner Dark Detector cannot distinguish between someone who has been cursed with Dark Arts and someone who has been using Dark Arts."

"Exactly! Ten points to Ravenclaw." Lupin gestured at Harry. Harry wondered if he was ever to be invited to sit down again, or if he should just slink back to his seat undismissed. "However, Harry is not merely cursed, as I am. I spent some of my weekend investigating curse scars, and Draco's assertion is correct — the scar maintains a link, of sorts, to the caster. Thus the effect we get from Harry is a small portion of the effect we would get from Voldemort, himself." 

He smiled reassuringly at the class, several of whom had twitched at his use of the name. "Now, anyone who wishes to is welcome to come up and attempt the Dark Detector. I will not assume anything from a positive response."

Malfoy, to Harry's surprise, stood. 

"May I, sir?"

Lupin hesitated only slightly. "If you wish, Draco." 

With a smirk, Malfoy walked up to the front of the class. A few feet away from the device, he stopped. His smirk vanished, and his eyes fell closed. Slowly and deliberately, he stepped forward until he was in arm's reach of the device. It remained silent. Everyone stared. 

Slowly, Malfoy opened his eyes. He still looked oddly placid, Harry thought. "It has another limitation, sir," he said quietly. "If you know how, it can be manipulated." 

Suddenly, his face was alight with mischief and malice. The Dark Detector erupted into a multi-toned keening. Malfoy laughed viciously, then took a step back. The noise decreased with the distance, then dropped further as Malfoy did something less visible.

 _Occlumency,_ Harry thought. _It's got to be._ "Let me try!" he said eagerly. 

"You need to know how, Potter," Malfoy said derisively, but Harry, not waiting for permission, stepped forward. The low, loud roar began again. Carefully, Harry worked on clearing his mind, dampening his emotions, and with them, his link to Voldemort. The wail shifted higher in tone and dropped dramatically in volume, until it was only slightly louder than Remus's alarm. Harry let his eyes open and found himself looking over the device into uncharacteristically wide grey eyes. 

"I'm pretty good at improvising," Harry commented. 

Draco smirked and stepped forward. The multi-toned wail returned. Harry leaned his head back and let his control erode slowly, adding a lowering crescendo to Draco's clamor. He flashed a smile at the other boy, whose face was now in an ecstasy of power. 

Harry tried maintaining his emotional openness, but concentrating on happy, generous, loved feelings, like when Ron had made up with him during the Tri-Wizard tournament. This left his volume unabated, but caused a shift in his tone. Draco's face calmed as he did something similar, cutting his mix of tones down to two, and matching the volume to Harry's. Harry tried to shift his tone enough to bring it into harmony with Draco's. 

The effort was exhausting, but also consuming. It wasn't until his eyes began to sting that Harry realized he was dripping with sweat. He looked across to his counterpart and saw the blond's face also had a feverish sheen. He stepped back. "Draco?" he asked uncertainly.

Suddenly, he was aware of the classroom, again. Draco jerked back, cutting the noise to nothing. Harry felt himself redden. He looked apologetically at Remus, who was plainly horrified. 

"Sorry, sir." His voice came out shaky and weak. "May I sit down, now?"

"Please do." 

 

At the end of the lesson, Harry still felt weak. He realized he'd hardly eaten breakfast, which probably had worsened the strain of manipulating the Dark Detector, and he was afraid his activities might have piqued Voldemort's interest. 

While he was messily shoving his book and parchment into his bag, he became aware of someone standing in the aisle and blocking some of his light. With trepidation, he looked up. It was Draco, watching him. 

Harry didn't know what to say. The Slytherin's expression was unreadable — the same vaguely disdainful look that his father had when evaluating something. Harry looked down at his hands, where they were clenched around the handles of his bag. After a moment, he heard Draco leave. 

He took the time to steady his breathing before he stood up. 

The other sixth-years had all left. Remus was leaning against his desk, watching Harry thoughtfully.

"Harry..."

"Don't," Harry said fiercely.

"I'm not angry at you." 

"Fine, but I'm exhausted, and I need food, and whatever you want to say, I don't want to hear it."

"Don't trust Malfoy."

"Weren't you the one talking about how everyone has their good points?"

"Not exactly, and even if that is true, _in theory,_ I am not thinking about theory, now. I'm thinking about a young man whom I love very much, and who is, as far as I can tell, estranged from his friends, and might, perhaps, be inclined to make inadvisable new ones?" 

"Remus, please. I'm fine." Harry hesitated. "And I might like to make friends of a sort with Malfoy, but _trust_ would be a bit much. I promise I'll be careful." 

The werewolf looked down. "I worry about you," he said softly. "Perhaps it's unreasonable — but you're all that's left. Would you give me a regular social visit? Say, Sunday afternoon, from four to six? It would give me time to talk to you — to let me know I haven't lost you."

"You haven't lost me." _On the contrary._

"But will you?"

Harry nodded. "I'd like that." He looked severely at Remus. "No more truth magic, though. It makes me feel like I'm being interrogated. Let's just visit." 

"Of course." 

 

**********

 

Hermione fumed on the way down the stairs. "That ... brat! I can't believe Harry would take a complicated piece of Auror equipment and start playing it like some sort of badly-tuned theramin! 

"I can't believe he'd do something like that with Malfoy!" Ron returned. 

"He's been strange about Malfoy since school started."

"Perhaps it's —" Ron stopped speaking. A moment later, Hermione realized he was no longer walking beside her. She turned around and looked back. Ron was still standing on the stairs, looking like a dragon was coming up at him. 

"Ron?" She took a few steps back up towards him.

"Hermione." Ron was still looking like something terrifying was approaching them. Hermione glanced down the stairs, but saw only the backs of descending students. "I need to go find Ginny," Ron said quickly. "Meet us in the Transfiguration classroom." With that, he started off. 

"But...." Hermione began, but Ron was already a flight down. With a gesture of surrender, she followed.

She saw Ron catch Ginny in the corridor, and lead her back into McGonagall's empty classroom. Hermione joined them and shut the door.

"She's here," Ginny said sharply to Ron. "Now tell me what's so important."

Ron looked at Hermione. "I was thinking about why he might be different about Malfoy. And first I thought maybe it wasn't a joke, and they really are brothers...."

It took Hermione a moment to remember what Ron was referring to. "You mean the Paternity —" she stopped, as he had on the stairs. "Oh."

"Right. We've been total idiots." He glanced at his sister. "Not you, Ginny; you didn't know. You were clever — too clever — and we should have known better."

"Ron! What are you talking about?" Ginny demanded. 

"This summer," Hermione explained, "Harry was asking about something called the Paternity Charm. It's a spell to make someone look like another father. I didn't have anything on it at home, and never looked it up here, because he said it had just been a joke someone played on him...." She looked despairingly at Ron.

"Utter prats!" he said furiously. He hit the wall with the side of his fist, then spent a while jumping up and down swearing silently. 

"I don't understand," Ginny said. 

"I ... we need to find details," Ron managed, clutching his hand, "but Mum said something about the Paternity Charm not being permanent. Harry probably looks different because it's wearing off, not because he's a different person." 

"You mean James Potter wasn't really his dad?" Ginny exclaimed. 

"He's been saying 'James,' more," Hermione interjected. "Did you notice? When he was saying that Peter liked watching James and Sirius bully people?"

"I noticed it was an odd thing for him to say about his dad," Ron replied. He was still clutching his hand. 

"And that would be political," Ginny said, finally catching up. "I mean, it isn't something he could tell anyone, now, is it?"

"But why should it matter?" Hermione argued. "He's not famous for being James Potter's son; he's famous for surviving the Killing Curse and destroying Voldemort's power."

"But his dad matters," Ginny explained. "His mum and dad matter as a couple, too. I mean, they got a lot of attention from the papers, like Harry does. The well-born Wizard and the Muggle-born girl, you know — like a fairy tale. It was very romantic — my Mum's talked about it, and she says they actually were that darling, together."

"Right. So, if she was unfaithful to him —" Ron stopped speaking, though his mouth stayed open. His eyes widened. As on the stairs, Hermione actually glanced behind her to see if anything had come at them.

"What?" she urged.

"Well... What if she _wasn't?"_ Ron said, in horrified tones. "What if his mum was _raped_ — by a Death Eater? They were captured, once, and escaped. Or if it was...."

"Voldemort," Ginny completed, in hushed tones.

Ron twitched. "Right!" he exclaimed. "If Harry is You-Know-Who's bastard, they couldn't risk anyone finding out."

"Especially if Voldemort doesn't know," Ginny added.

Ron shivered and sank back in contemplation of this horrible thought. Hermione considered it as well. 

She decided she liked the theory. She found she didn't really care who had fathered Harry. Whether he was biologically James Potter's son, or Voldemort's, or some random Death Eater's, might matter to wizard genealogists, but she felt that it was hardly anyone else's concern. She could understand, however, with the import that wizards placed on bloodline, that such a revelation would require major secrecy. Harry probably _would_ be prohibited from telling them, even if his father were someone of equal rank and similar politics, like Sirius.

"So his behavior...." she said, musing out loud.

"Well, I know I'd be knocked sideways if I suddenly found out I wasn't a Weasley."

Hermione tried to imagine being told that her dad wasn't her father, possibly that her father was someone her mother had hated or feared, who had taken her by force. What would she do? Go find Ron, she thought, or Harry, or Ginny, and.... "Especially if you couldn't tell anyone about it," Hermione said, aghast. She reddened. Ron glared at her. 

"Especially, if one of your _best friends_ wouldn't talk to you at all," he said nastily. 

"Well, it's not like you've been dependable either," Hermione said defensively. She bit her lip. "But ... yes."

"I've only fought with him about Malfoy!" Ron snapped. They both fell silent. Hermione could still picture Harry looking up and uncertainly meeting Malfoy's eyes across the Dark Detector. The sudden flash of a smile across his face had been matched by a knowledgeable smirk from Malfoy, and they had _connected_. She had seen Remus, on the far side of them, shiver when it happened. 

"If he becomes friends with Malfoy...." Hermione said slowly.

Ron groaned. "It will be our fault, won't it?" he said. 

Hermione was grateful to him for not saying "your fault." He could certainly argue that it was more hers. "Mine more than yours," she confessed. "But...."

"Let's get to lunch," Ron said, a trace of panic in his voice.

"Wait!" Ginny exclaimed. "First, none of this leaves this room, right?"

"Right!" Ron answered. 

Hermione nodded. "Right."

"Okay. Let's go." 

 


	44. Snakes and Adders

 

Harry stumbled downstairs. When he saw the entrance to the Great Hall, he paused. The sound of conversation made his stomach turn. He continued down to the kitchens. The house elves would give him food without awkward questions. 

He got in and out of the kitchens quickly, as Dobby was elsewhere, and took his packet of food outside. Of their own accord, his steps led him to the Quidditch pitch. He took a school broom, flew up to a goal ring, and settled there to eat his lunch. 

 

Harry had finished his sandwich and was halfway through a slice of lemon cake when he started to feel uneasy. He sat up, one leg on either side of the hoop, and looked around. The stands were empty and the sky clear. Finally, he looked down into the shadowed aisle that led to the changing rooms, and saw Draco Malfoy standing there, leaning back against the wall and watching him. Harry wrapped up the remaining food and flew down. 

"Strange place to eat," Draco commented. 

"I wanted to be alone." 

"That would do it. I wouldn't dine on a perch like some wayward falcon. You're over that now, I presume?"

"For the moment."

Draco motioned to the stands, and then climbed up to the first benches and sat down. Harry joined him, unwrapped his food, and had another bite of the lemon cake. He finished chewing it and swallowed. Draco had not yet volunteered anything.

"Why are you here?" Harry asked. 

"I'm watching you." Draco smiled, and it was almost charming. "It's my new hobby." 

"Hobby." 

"You've become intriguingly unpredictable." Draco regarded him with a shadow of his usual disdain. "I would never have believed you capable of that." 

"What did you do in Defense?"

"What did you do?" Draco countered. They looked at each other distrustfully. 

"Perhaps we should write down our answers and pass them to each other," Harry said.

Draco nodded, although Harry had been joking. He gestured to Harry's school bag. "Do you have writing things?"

Harry pulled out parchment, quill, ink, and a book to use as a flat surface. Draco took the parchment, folded it, tore it in half, and handed one half to Harry, who wrote. Harry picked up his paper and blew on it, while Draco took a second piece, and Harry's quill and book. 

He stared at the book for a moment. "A Guide to Restricted Potions Ingredients?" he read questioningly.

"I'm doing a report on the Dark Arts Components Decree of 1981." 

"Oh." Draco still looked curious, but he shrugged, wrote out his answer, and picked it up. "Ready?" In a single move, he and Harry switched papers. Harry looked down to see that he had traded a paper with his messy scrawl saying "Occlumency" for a paper with Draco's elegant script saying "Occlumency." They both grinned. 

Draco reached over and tore a piece off Harry's cake. "Who taught you that?" he asked, then popped the cake in his mouth.

"Professor Dumbledore," Harry replied.

Draco looked astonished. "Why?"

"Why do you think?"

"Because the Dark Lord is a Legilimens?

"First try. Good job." 

"But why does it matter?"

"The scar. You were right about it."

"Oh. Yes, that would be a problem. I think of Occlumency as Dark Arts, though. That's not supposed to be the headmaster's specialty."

"Isn't it really the opposite?"

"How so?"

"Well, Dark Arts involve use of the emotions. Occlumency is a dropping of emotions." 

"Isn't that a sort of use, though?"

"Use by non-use?" Harry teased.

"Yes."

"Oh don't. That sort of thing makes me dizzy." 

"Doesn't it matter, though, if you're doing it?"

"No. It's non-optional." 

"How pragmatic."

"That was just volume, though," Harry persisted. "How did you do tone? You managed it much better than I did." 

"How did you?"

"I just ... I kept my emotions in certain ranges, with my mind open or turned outward."

Draco considered. "That could do it." He smirked at Harry's impatient look. "I pulled together the energy for particular Dark spells — not casting them, but as if I was preparing to do."

"Oh."

"That high-pitched sound that the werewolf caused — you could tell there was no intent, just a massing of incidental energy." 

"I see." Harry sat back. "At least, I think I do. I need to think it over for a while."

"Let me know if you want to know more." 

Harry shot Draco a curious look. "It's odd," he said. "Having you be civil, I mean."

"It's odd having you be civil," Draco retorted. His eyes narrowed. "And I won't drive you off until I find out what you're after." 

"I'm just..." Harry shook his head. "Just tired of fighting. That's all."

"Is it?" Draco eyed him speculatively. "That doesn't nearly explain your behavior, you know. Your behavior to me, perhaps, but not Ron and Hermione, and not ... other things." 

"I don't want to talk about Ron and Hermione." 

"Really? I was hoping you'd give me some dirt on the Weasel."

"Why don't you just make it up, like you usually do?" Harry asked bitingly. 

Draco leaned back. "I'm bored with that. It's too easy." He smiled again, not so charmingly. "Tell me. Why don't they sit with you?"

Harry scowled. "What happened to your bodyguards, Malfoy? They always used to sit with you." 

Draco flinched. Harry felt a burst of simultaneous regret and triumph. 

"They are no longer required to stay with me." At Harry's politely inquiring look, Draco's haughty look twisted with a bitter smile. "Since my father is, apparently, fallen from favor." 

"I've seen Goyle with you, though."

"Gregory's my friend."

"Really?" Harry taunted. "I'd never have known."

Draco looked down, his pale face turning pink. "I wouldn't have done, either." 

Suddenly, Harry understood. Crabbe and Goyle had previously been told, by their parents, presumably, to suck up to the Malfoy boy. Draco had always known that, and treated them with familiar scorn. Now they had been released from their obligation, and Crabbe no longer bothered with him. Goyle did. 

"How embarrassing," Harry said, trying not to sound too amused or too sympathetic. He did feel sorry for Draco, who was looking unusually cowed. 

"Truly," Draco responded. "No telling why he likes me. I always treated him like a servant." 

Harry shrugged. "Most people put up with a certain amount of shit from the people they like."

"So you put up with Weasley's stupid jokes and Granger's pedantry."

"And they put up with my screaming fits and sulks," Harry offered.

"So what _don't_ they put up with?" Draco pressed. 

Harry rolled his eyes, but felt more generous now that Draco had told him something about his own life. "Over the summer, I discovered I like ... being on my own, sometimes."

"Sounds reasonable."

"They don't like that I won't tell them where I go." 

"That doesn't."

"They ... I had an odd summer. They worry about me being alone, or something. I don't get it either, but it is — or was — kindly meant." 

Draco looked off at the empty pitch. "Does that help?" he asked.

"Not really. It only means I can't be as angry at them as I'd like to be." 

Draco snorted. "It seems to me," he said, "if the papers were correct, that your summer wasn't any worse than the rest of your life at home." 

"Well, that's it," Harry replied. "It wasn't. The worst part was —" He stopped.

"Well, Harry?" Draco drawled. 

"That when I heard they'd died," Harry confessed, "I was ... happy, more than anything. Relieved, I guess."

"And the problem is?"

"They were my relatives. And even if I couldn't love them, I should have mourned them, at least a little. And I should not feel delight at someone dying." 

"Why not?"

"Because it's wrong." Harry hesitated. "And Professor Dumbledore says my greatest strength is my ability to love."

Draco laughed. "Even if that's true, you don't need to love people that don't deserve it," he said. He lifted his head with a haughty sneer. "If Dumbledore wanted you to be merciful and loving, perhaps he should have left you with someone kind, who would be good to you." 

"He was afraid I'd become spoiled and self-centered." 

"Well, he could have given you to the Weasleys, then. They wouldn't have the money or the time, would they?" Draco smirked. "Too late now. Cheer up! It could be worse; you could be under a prophecy."

"What?"

"It's a wizard saying, Potter. 'It could be worse; you could be under a prophesy.'"

"But I am," Harry returned. "Under a prophecy, I mean." 

Draco blinked. "Oh. My condolences."

"That was what the mess at the Ministry was, last spring. Voldemort sent me to get the prophecy and your father to take it from me."

"He _sent_ you?"

"With Legilimency. Through the scar."

"Oh." Draco's eyes narrowed as he studied at Harry. "And Occlumency is non-optional. It comes together. He didn't get it, I presume?"

"No. I smashed it." 

Draco stared, then slowly smiled. "Good for you. Screw fate." He took the last bit of lemon cake and stood up. "Show me something interesting," he commanded.

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. Can you do it?" Draco challenged.

Harry stood up. He let an answering arrogance show through. "Come with me, then."

Harry led Draco out of the pitch and down towards the Forbidden Forest and Hagrid's hut. 

"I've seen the Wyverns, Potter."

"This isn't a Wyvern. It isn't anything of Hagrid's, but it's near there." 

Harry led him down to the Wyvern cage and around it, to the bushes where he had twice seen the adder. " _Snake?_ " he asked. " _Hello. Are you near?_ " After a moment, he heard a rustling. The adder emerged from the bushes and raised its head to catch their scent on its tongue. Draco jumped in the air and landed a pace back. 

"Oh, come off it," Harry said, kneeling and holding his hand out to the adder. "Don't tell me a Slytherin is afraid of snakes."

"I am not! It just startled me, that's all." For all that, Harry noticed, Draco didn't come any closer. The adder did. 

" _Hello, speaking man,_ " she said. 

" _Hello, snake. Are you well?_ "

" _Yes. It is still sunny in the afternoon._ "

" _Good._ "

Harry sat down and the adder zipped over to him. Again, it raised its head and flicked its tongue out for a few seconds, then poked its head, and several inches of its body up the sleeve of Harry's robe. Harry glanced up at Draco as the adder doubled back and poked its head out again. Draco was staring wide-eyed and slack jawed. 

Harry spread the front of his robe between his knees. " _Bask here. It is sunny, and I will protect you._ " 

The adder consented with a hiss, and flowed out onto Harry's lap, with every inch of it taking the turn in and out of Harry's sleeve. Harry looked back at Draco. 

"Sit down, then," he suggested. "Does my little friend qualify as something interesting?"

Draco considered. "No," he decided, "but your conversation does." He sat down, a bit abruptly. "What is it saying?"

"Not much. We both went through variations of 'hi, how are you? I'm fine.' She said the afternoon sun was pleasant and I invited her to bask." Harry looked at Draco. "Now tell me how you heard of the Marauders."

Draco laughed shakily. "Oh, it's not much. But Slytherin House has something they made. House legend is we stole it from them. It's just a slip of paper that displays one's distance to Professor Snape on one side, and is signed "The Marauders" on the other. It's very useful to us, of course. I don't know what they wanted with such a thing. He would have been a student, then."

Harry tried to relax his now clenched jaw. 

"They hated him," he forced out. "He hated them. That's all. A quick way to find your enemy." The snake hissed and twisted with his agitation. Harry stroked a hand down its smooth scales and forced himself to relax.

"I suppose that explains why we stole it, then," Draco said lightly. "At any rate, a brief explanation of the name has been passed down with the item itself."

Their conversation grew lighter, and Draco appeared to grow more comfortable with the snake, which settled down in loose, thick coils on the warmth of Harry's black robe. 

 

**********

 

Ron, Hermione, and Ginny did not find Harry at lunch, so they ate quickly, and then went searching for him. When they still had not found him fifteen minutes before the start of class, Ron and Hermione decided to go to Care of Magical Creatures early, in case he was visiting Hagrid, but Hagrid did not answer the door. They decided to look out back, in hopes he and Harry were with the Wyverns. 

When they came around the hut, Hagrid was not there. Harry was. He was sitting next to Draco Malfoy, almost on the other side of the aviary, and the two of them were talking quietly and intently. Harry was sitting cross-legged and seemed to be holding something in his lap. 

Almost against her will, Hermione walked closer. The thing in Harry's lap resolved into the coils of a large, brown adder, resting with apparent contentment in the hammock formed by Harry's school robes. He was stroking absently down its scaled back, as if it was a kitten, rather than a sizable, poisonous snake. Malfoy was reclined back on a rounded rock, a slightly amused expression on his face and his attention shifting between Harry's face and Harry's lap. 

Malfoy looked up. Hermione was certain her expression displayed her horror plainly. She was not at all surprised when Malfoy's gaze glanced disdainfully over her and settled on her companion. Malfoy's refined contempt expanded into a superior smirk. 

"Still trailing around after the Mudblood girl, Weasley?" he taunted. 

"Draco!" Harry snapped. He looked angry. It was the first encouraging thing Hermione had noticed. His hand had stopped moving.

Malfoy looked innocently back to him. "What?"

"Don't call her that." Harry absently resumed stroking the snake in his lap, but it shifted restlessly, raised up its head, and hissed, first at Malfoy, then at Ron and Hermione. Malfoy pushed back out of striking distance.

"What did it say?" he asked, getting casually to his feet.

"No words," Harry responded. "Snakes pick up what I feel, sometimes, like I pick up what they feel. She can tell I'm upset at all of you." He looked at Malfoy's sullen offense and smiled. "And they have even less tact than an eleven-year-old boy."

Malfoy, to Hermione's surprise, laughed. 

"All right, then. I won't promise to play nice, but I'll clear out, for now, with no offense. Later?"

Harry nodded. The eager smile he gave Malfoy hit Hermione like a slap in the face. "Later, then," he affirmed. Still grinning, he leaned down to the snake and hissed at it. Slowly it stilled. Malfoy walked towards Hermione and Ron. As he passed near them, he said quietly: 

"Does he know how little you'll sell him for?"

Hermione stumbled. Ron whirled on Malfoy. 

"Shut up, Malfoy!"

"You want to have this out in front of him, then?" Malfoy drawled, his voice still quiet. "I can say it louder, if you want." Harry started to set the snake on Malfoy's sunny rock. Hermione guessed he was preparing to come over and intervene. 

"Later," Hermione hissed. If Malfoy left, she and Ron could confess to Harry and take the consequences, but if Malfoy told him, they would be in far worse shape. It occurred to her, as she watched the malicious triumph on Malfoy's face, that this had been his intent all along. It was not that he needed such an odd little bit of information, but that he needed a way to blackmail them, or a way to put them down in front of Harry. 

"Later then," he purred. He stepped a little closer. "Mudblood," he whispered. Hermione threw an arm out to block Ron's attack. 

"Let him go, Ron."

Ron heard the urgency in her voice and fell back. Malfoy gave them a dangerous smile, turned, and swaggered away. 

 

Harry was approaching now. Hermione turned to face him without any chance to speak to Ron.

"What was that about?"

Hermione took a deep breath. "He was threatening to blackmail us."

Harry's eyes narrowed, and he took on a condescending look. "And what have you done?" he asked pointedly. 

"We ... He offered me information for something about you that seemed insignificant...."

"And you gave it to him."

Hermione felt herself heat with shame. "Yes."

"What? For what?"

The clipped questions were frightening in their starkness. Hermione looked as apologetic as she could. "What nights you'd been gone — I didn't see that it could matter, but that's what he asked for —"

"What if it did matter?! What if something was happening those nights and he knew?" Green eyes burned with fury. "You have no idea what trouble you could be causing!"

"It wasn't like -- you weren't there. He was casting around for something to demand. I thought that he'd asked for some random thing just to avoid giving me anything for free." She bit her lip. "Now I realize he asked so he had something to hold over me." 

Harry let out a hissing breath, then nodded curtly. "Probably. Just so you know, that information is _probably_ harmless. What did you get?"

Hermione looked down. "Enough information to find Maitland in the library," she whispered. 

"Just for your curiosity," Harry said bitingly.

"Yes." Sometimes, Hermione reflected, there was no point in trying to make excuses. 

Harry rounded on Ron. "And you?" he asked. 

"Oh, I promised him something far more valuable, but I've been intending to tell you." Ron, on the other hand, did not sound the least bit contrite. 

"Really?"

"I've promised I'll tell him when you go missing." Ron stepped forward. "So don't, because I will do." 

"You wouldn't."

"I will. He says he's seen you in the dungeons."

Harry turned his back on them. "Go away."

"Look, mate —"

Harry whirled back, furious. "Don't you dare!" he screamed. "I am not your mate, I am not your property, and you are _not_ my friend. Go!" 

"Class is starting soon," Hermione said timidly.

Harry looked her up and down in a way that made her feel like running. "Soon," he repeated.

"In about ten minutes. We were looking for you." Hermione swallowed. "We wanted to say we're sorry."

"You're not sorry," Harry spat. "You're jealous. Afraid, perhaps. Not sorry."

"Harry, look —" Ron tried.

"Shut up! Just shut up, both of you!" Harry stormed back to the rock and the snake slid back into his lap. When Hermione tried to approach him, he ignored her, and the snake reared up and hissed threateningly. When Ron began to rant and threaten her, she remembered the Wyverns and pulled him away to get calming potions for both of them. 

 

**********

 

Severus had not consciously noticed the sound of approaching footsteps, but he looked up when they stopped at the door to his office. Remus Lupin was standing in his doorway, looking ill and harried. Severus tensed at the sight. He did not speak, but glowered pointedly at his unwelcome visitor. 

 "I know you dislike my presence," Remus said, his voice low and tense, "but we need to discuss Harry."

"Potter?" Severus answered. His reaction heightened, but he put on an air of slight confusion. "Why would that concern me?"

Remus's face contorted in a quick snarl of rage. He slammed the door shut. " _Sonitus_ _Claudere, Odoros Claudere,"_ he chanted quickly, wand out and pointed at the door. He looked back, the rage already under control, but his jaw clenched tight. 

"That still falls from your mouth as one spell," Severus noted acerbically. "I'm surprised you even remember it."

Remus scowled. "You may have been my first lover, Severus, but you were certainly not my last. I _have_ used it since I was seventeen." 

Severus had not expected Remus to acknowledge the reference. He found himself off balance. "I don't know why you are bothering to block _scent_ now."

"Do you think, if I were walking by this room, I could not tell that you and I were in here, and angry?"

"And what does that mean? That you and I are in this room," Severus sneered, confident again. 

"Odd as the thought may be to you," Remus said tightly, "I am often in your presence without anger."

"I am not in yours without it."

That seemed to have struck on target. Remus looked down a moment and swallowed. "Could we ... please? ... restrict this conversation to Harry?"

"And why would I want to talk to you about Harry?" 

"Because I am one of his professors, and I am demanding a parent conference!" Remus snarled. "Is that clear?"

Severus sat back and stared at him in astonishment. After a moment, he felt his mouth moving in a smile, and struggled to restrict it to a possibly contemptuous curl of his lip.

"Well then, _Professor Lupin_ — what have you to say about my son?"

Remus plunged right in. "Harry has been disruptive in my Defense Against —"

"I am aware what you teach, Lupin."

"He interrupted my introduction of how we define Dark Arts several times, to —"

"If you are unable to maintain discipline in your class, I fail to see how this is my concern."

"My concern, which should be yours, is that he does it for Mr. Malfoy's attention."

Remus had not advanced, but he had also not backed off. Severus found himself slightly impressed. 

"Your imagination is running away with you, Lupin. Young Malfoy hates Potter, and Potter largely ignores him."

"Oh does he? Let me tell you about this morning's class. I had a Kerner Dark Detector--"

"And Harry set it off?"

"As I expected he would do. In fact, I had called him up to demonstrate that limitation. Then Mr. Malfoy asked if he could try. He stepped forward, slowly, but all the way up to it, without it making a sound."

Severus tried not to show his surprise or his pleasure. He would not have thought Draco had the control.

"He said this was another limitation. The he smiled, and it began to scream--"

"So your complaint is about Malfoy's skill?"

"No. Then Harry said, 'let me try!' and he managed to cut his alarm down to almost nothing, and he looked at Malfoy and waited for the smile. Then the two of them began doing it together — they changed _tone_ , of all things! — and Malfoy was impressed, and Harry delighted."

"Delighted in his own skill, perhaps." Severus paused. Reducing volume was a good use of Occlumency, but tone.... _He probably just used mood, and managed to approximate._ "I'm pleased."

"But Friday, it was all for Malfoy as well," Remus persisted. "Say something, look to see if he gets that little smile, or a nod...."

"You are imagining things."

"No. I saw them walking together after class, when they should have been at lunch. They were headed down towards the forest." 

That worried Severus. He tried not to show it. "Perhaps you should talk to Harry."

"I have. He said he wouldn't mind being friends with Draco, but of course he'd be careful.... You know he won't." An impassive stare from Severus made Remus twitch. He looked back in appeal. "It was bad enough watching a peer — you — being twisted by Lucius," he said passionately. "Harry is ... well, not like my own child, but the closest thing I will ever have to a young kinsman, and I cannot stand to watch him playing up his darkness for that Malfoy boy!"

"First, Draco is not Lucius —"

"He is just as bad!"

"He is nowhere _near_ as bad. Not much to his credit — he hasn't the will, or the imagination. Draco is a petty, spoiled child, and if Harry chooses to associate with him, he will grow tired of him quickly. Second, Harry is not me — again, not near it. Third, _were_ they just like us, Draco would still lack the history that gave Lucius the deepest of his hooks into me. Fourth —" A rising anger spilled over — "Harry is NONE OF YOUR KIN!" Severus found he had screamed the last, loudly and roughly enough to hurt his throat. 

"I won't have children, Severus," Remus said, keeping his voice nearly steady. "With one of my sisters dead and the other estranged from me, I won't have nephews and nieces. As Lily's child — as James's fostered child — Harry holds that place in my heart." Remus shuddered visibly. "Even as yours," he added hesitantly. "Don't you know any child of yours would be dear to me?"

Severus wanted nothing so much as to kill the man where he stood. 

"Get out!" he screamed. "OUT!" 

Remus backed up to the door and opened it, breaking the wards, but to his credit, did not run. 

"Talk to him," he said stiffly. "He listens to you." With that, he left. 

Severus knew he found Remus's affection offensive, and his statement that Harry listened to him, voiced almost as an accusation, frightening. He did not want to think beyond that. Quickly, he resumed reviewing fourth year essays, then, when that did not adequately consume his attention, to read them aloud at a low mutter. They were not nearly good enough to withstand it. 

 


	45. Keep Me Here

 

Ginny, her knees pulled up to her chest, listened quietly to Ron and Hermione's increasingly strained description of the afternoon's events.

"We need to go back to the map," Ron said. "I can't deal with Malfoy, now."

"May I make a suggestion?" Ginny said.

"Go ahead, Ginny," Hermione answered. 

"I know he's your friend, much more than mine, but I think you should just let him keep his secrets."

"What?!"

"He's not going to tell you anything until he feels comfortable with you, again, and he's never going to feel comfortable if you spy on him and demand answers from him. Give him a month or two. We know why he looks different, now, and perhaps why he's moody. It even seems likely that he's been prohibited from telling you things, and you know what that's like. You can wait." Ginny fanned a clump of her hair between her fingers and peered at the ends. "I'm sorry I made this messier, but I can't fix it for you. You need to do that."

"He had a snake! He was talking to Malfoy!"

"So? He has to talk to someone, doesn't he? And I've never understood why he didn't keep snakes, Slytherin symbol or not. If _I_ was a Parselmouth, I'd have snakes escort me through the halls and guard my things in class and ride on my broom during practice." Ginny paused. "Well, perhaps not that last one. I bet snakes hate flying."

 

**********

Harry deliberately arrived late to dinner, so he could avoid Ron and Hermione, who were, as he had hoped, already seated. Ginny was with them and Dean, so he sat with Zoë, and they made light conversation, mostly about Quidditch. The schedule of autumn games had been announced right before Harry arrived, so Zoë filled him in. Gryffindor was playing Ravenclaw on the first weekend in October, which was sooner than Harry would have liked. Slytherin was playing Hufflepuff a few weeks later. The rest of the games were scheduled for spring, with the Gryffindor/Slytherin game scheduled for early May. Despite his current resolve to avoid Draco, Harry found himself relieved that they wouldn't be meeting each other on the pitch any time soon. Now that he thought about it, he wondered how that would work with the head of the rival house being his father. It was likely to be odd.

Quidditch practice was more strained, as Harry could not avoid the two Weasley team members. Everyone noticed the tension between Harry and Ron. Andrew was angry with Harry on Ron's behalf, though Ron told him not to be, and Teresa was angry with Ron on Harry's behalf, though Harry told her not to be. Jack and Iggy attempted to ignore the whole thing. 

"At least talk to me," Ron said pleadingly, on the way back to the dormitory. Harry ignored him. "Please? Two weeks ago, we were friends."

"If it makes you feel any better," Harry said shortly, "I don't think I'm speaking to Draco, either. Now sod off!"

 

Harry continued to snub Ron and Hermione throughout Tuesday. His mood was not improved by a short note from his father, delivered at lunchtime by school owl, which said "I have rescheduled our Tuesday evening conference to Wednesday. I expect you to be prompt." The moment of amusement he gleaned from the perfect Professor Snape tone of it was followed almost immediately by disappointment and annoyance. He was anxious to talk to his father about the Kerner Dark Detector and Draco. 

 

 Wednesday morning, Harry sat with Teresa and one of her classmates. He felt like an older brother, and tremendously enjoyed mixing casual advice with light teasing. He left for Potions in a better mood than he had been in since Monday. 

When he entered the classroom, Draco nonchalantly waved him toward the seat beside him. Harry froze in the aisle. 

"Sit," Draco said, clearly tapping the chair next to him. The other students present, Boot and Finch-Fletchley, were staring. Harry stepped close enough to speak quietly. 

"I'm not sure I'm speaking to you."

Draco looked at him in innocent astonishment. "What did I do?" he asked.

"Ron and Hermione fessed up about their deals with you. I suspect you coaxed them into it just for blackmail purposes."

"They _did_ it," Draco said indignantly. 

"I know, and I'm not speaking to them, either." 

"Really, Harry, I was curious. I'd seen you —" Draco stopped abruptly. "I don't think we should have this conversation with an audience. Will you let me tell you about it, after class?"

Harry decided it wasn't fair to listen to Ron and Hermione's side of the story and not Draco's. He nodded. Draco smiled and nudged the chair. "Sit down," he urged. Harry sat, then remembered he hadn't been going to do that. Draco looked at him and smirked. 

 

When Professor Snape entered, he looked surprised and displeased to see Harry sitting with Draco. Throughout the class, his attention continued to return to them. Harry was confused by the disapproval in those looks. Snape liked Draco, as far as he could tell. Shouldn't he like them to get along? 

While he was considering the matter, Draco nudged him. "Should I drop some extra Shrake spines in Boot's cauldron?" he suggested in a low voice. Harry snorted in amused disbelief. 

"Isn't that a _bit_ childish?" he whispered back. 

"Potter!" Snape barked, gliding down to their table. "Ten points from Gryffindor for disrupting another student's work." He leaned over the table, his best sneer fixed on Harry. "This is a class, Potter, not a social event." 

"Excuse me, er, sir?" Draco said quietly. "I'd asked him a question."

Snape's glittering eyes shifted to Draco and held there for a moment while Draco smiled placidly. "Did you?" Snape whispered threateningly. "Very well, then. Ten points from Slytherin, as well." Draco blinked in surprise. "And I think the two of you should sit at separate tables, since you seem unable to control yourselves in a serious environment. Potter! Move!" Snape inclined his head as Harry began piling items for transport. He waited until Harry had half of them on the neighboring table, then said:

"To the table in front of my desk, Potter."

Harry spent the next half-hour trying to fix the damage caused by having moved his cauldron in mid-brew. He ended up with a potion that masked the scent of some of their test objects — rotten beans, and fresh lime zest, for example, but not thestral manure or crushed cloves.

"Pathetic, Potter," Snape sneered over his shoulder. Harry looked around angrily. 

"If you hadn't made me move it _after_ I added the fairy cocoon silk --!" 

"Then it would be just as pathetic," Snape said sharply, as he shifted around to Harry's side, causing Harry to turn to track him. "I am quite familiar with your ability to mangle even the simplest formula." 

Harry glared and was surprised by a quick smirk and wink from Severus, who now had his back to the rest of the room. 

"At least I know I am at no risk of being poisoned by you." 

Harry bit his lip and looked down to hide his amusement. He heard Snape praise Draco's potion and grudgingly acknowledge Parvati's to be "effective." On the way back to his desk, Snape paused to sneer at his potion again, and to whisper, "Tonight, my apartments."

 

Draco was waiting for Harry just outside the classroom door. 

"I don't believe that man!" he fumed. 

"He's always like that to me," Harry pointed out. 

"I know, but I didn't think he'd be unfair to me, just to continue going after you." Draco sighed. "Let's find an empty room, shall we?"

Harry raised his eyebrows in surprised inquiry. "This isn't even a hallway discussion?"

"No." 

Draco led Harry into a small room under the stairs, which held boxes and cleaning supplies to one side, but still had a clear space at the tall end. It was roomy enough that Harry could stand two paces back from Draco, and thought he would have a little room to maneuver if they fought. Draco closed the door. Harry wasn't surprised when he warded it, as well, but he found his hand moving nervously to his wand. Draco made a show of putting his own wand in an inner pocket and moving his hands to his hips. 

"In my opinion, _Harry,_ you've been acting rather oddly. It started with talking to me, and telling Ron not to attack me, but then there's this cool look you've acquired, and contradicting Professor Lupin — sorry, _Remus_ — in class. Last weekend, I saw you go into Professor Snape's private laboratory — when he was there — and stay. There was absolutely no sound at the door, so I believe one of you warded it.

" _That_ was curious enough that I went poking around for more information — any information — on you. It was clear enough that you'd been fighting with your dear friends, Granger and Weasley, so when I found them in the library, I decided to draw them out. I gave them the information about seeing you in the dungeons, as a taunt. I tried hinting at some things, hoping for a response that would tell me something, but they genuinely seemed to not know what you were up to — but I could tell that they thought you were up to _something,_ and they were angry and frightened not to know what. 

"I offered Granger a deal — I'd tell her everything I found out about you if she told me everything she found out about you. She refused, as I expected, but then Weasley stepped in. He said he'd tell me whenever you disappeared, if I'd tell him whenever I saw you in the dungeons. I was shocked, but I accepted before he had time to reconsider. Then, on my way out, I saw what _she_ was doing, with a list of dozens of misspellings of Maitland. She'd been so insistent that she wouldn't deal with me that I was determined I would have a price out of her for that one, and, after a few exchanges, she agreed to tell me which days you had been missing."

Harry growled. "I bet she told you the truth, too."

"Tuesday, Friday, Tuesday, Saturday?"

"I refuse to confirm or deny." 

Draco smirked. "Good for you." He looked coolly at Harry. "Is there anything else you'd like to tell me?"

"No." 

"Let's walk, then." 

Draco canceled the privacy spell on the door, and they walked out into the now empty corridor. "Will you let it go?" he asked.

Harry scowled. "I'm not sure. I still think you're trying to cause trouble." 

"If you can't trust them," Draco said, starting up the stairs, "isn't it better to find out this way, than when it really matters?"

"But maybe it does matter. Honestly, Draco, you're a Voldemort supporter! It's not like I can trust you, in any case." 

Draco shrugged. "I'm not quite thrilled with the Dark Lord, these days." 

"Oh really? Why is that?"

Draco glared. "Father is clever, magically powerful, and influential, and of one of the twelve purest family lines in Britain. The Dark Lord could have him out of Azkaban in a week, if he chose." 

"The Dark Lord takes no responsibility for failure. That all needs to be pushed on to someone else."

"My father is a brilliant strategist," Draco said angrily. "If that ambush could work, he would have made it work." 

"Oh, I agree," Harry said slyly. "Your parents, however much I may hate them, seem quite intelligent. Compared to Crabbe, or Nott, or MacNair, they're absolute geniuses. The majority of the Death Eaters seem a bit ... simple? I think that Voldemort likes servility too much to endure intelligence." 

They had reached the second floor landing. Draco grimaced. "Either way, he's not a good leader, is he?"

"No. He's not. Of course, I'm biased, aren't I?"

"Couldn't be more so, I expect," Draco agreed. "So, doesn't it worry you, what Weasley agreed to?"

"Well, he said the point was to tell me."

"So?"

"He thought it would dissuade me from leaving if I knew he'd tell you when I did."

"And if it didn't?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Perhaps he thought that I'd be okay, if forewarned. Perhaps he wouldn't have actually told you."

"He _promised_ me."

"So?" Harry was amused at Draco's shocked tone.

"So, Gryffindors are supposed to be honorable."

Harry shrugged. "In our way. We still lie, though. Even Hermione lies — and steals. We just need to believe we're doing the right thing when we do it."

"Thus you were not surprised by Gryffindor Death Eaters."

"Right." 

They quietly opened the door to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and slipped inside. Everyone turned and looked at them. Professor Lupin eyed them coolly. 

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy — please sit down. As you are less than five minutes late, I will not take points for this first offense in tardiness. Next time, I will. Is that clear?" 

"Yes, professor," both said. 

Without consultation they walked up near the front of the room and over to the left where there were two seats together. People stared. Harry caught Draco sending a haughty sneer back at Ron's angry look. 

"Don't taunt him," he whispered.

"Why not?" Draco asked innocently.

"Because it's unkind."

Draco snickered. 

"If I could have your attention?" Professor Lupin asked bitingly. He held aloft the Verifier. A few minutes later, he was demonstrating it on Hermione, asking innocuous questions, such as "do you play violin?" "do you speak French?" and others of that sort. Ron's attention never left Harry. Harry watched his expression change from angry to hurt to wistful. 

"I'm going to have to forgive him, now," he whispered to Draco. 

"Who?"

"Ron."

"Why?"

"Well, I've forgiven you, right? And we've only not been enemies a week. He was worse, but he's been my best friend for years."

"Wait," Draco hissed.

"Why?"

"Disappear for an evening, and I'll tell you if he tells me." 

Harry thought about that while Lupin called for another volunteer. "All right," he said.

 

At the end of class, Harry went up to talk to Professor Lupin. He turned and watched as the other students filed out. 

"I thought you weren't allowed to be alone with me," Remus said mildly. 

Harry shrugged. "Oh well." He looked pleadingly at Remus. "Could I borrow the Verifier? I'll give it back to you on Friday." 

"And why would I loan you a Verifier?" Remus sounded more amused than offended. 

"I've agreed to let Draco investigate something for me," Harry explained. "I need to know if what he tells me is true, or not."

"Draco."

"It's that, or just act as if I trust him, and see if anything breaks."

"Well, I can see why you might not want to do that."

"Please?"

Remus sighed. "I need it for my afternoon classes. Can you drop into my office at four?"

"That would be great. Thanks."

"Harry?"

Harry turned back. "Yes?"

"I ... I still don't like you with Malfoy."

Harry shrugged slightly. "I know." 

"Be careful what you tell him. He's clever, and perceptive. If he figures out anything about you and —" Lupin stopped suddenly, a frustrated look crossing his face. Harry could see him trying to find a name that was safe. 

"Your hawk," he suggested.

Lupin laughed nervously. "Not mine! But yes — no telling whom he would tell. And it need only be that you have been at his mercy, in some way, but are still alive." 

Harry looked down. "He already knows a lot, unfortunately. None of it from anything I told him, but ... word gets around the dungeons."

"That's very dangerous." 

"I understand that. If I avoid talking to him, it isn't less so." 

"Depending on what you say."

"Yes."

"Very well, then. Shall we go to lunch?"

 

Harry waited impatiently for his time with Severus. He was not as cheerful about it as he might have been. He needed to ask about Malfoy's intentions and was afraid he would not like the answer, and he felt he ought to ask about Maitland, and if there had been a game, as James had heard. He knew that would be an unpleasant conversation, whether the rumor had been true or not. The thought of James's letter reminded him he had never seen the one from Lily. He wondered if it had been long enough that he could safely ask again. 

Then, there was the matter of Ron and Malfoy. He had the Verifier in his pocket, and had spent a while before the mirror, practicing ways to look at it surreptitiously, but it reminded him of the reason he had it. If Ron didn't contact Draco, and Draco told him so, all was well. He wasn't sure what he would do if Ron did contact Draco, or if Draco lied about it, in either direction. 

Still, worrying about things was always worse than doing them. He would see Severus, soon, and probably some of it, at least, would be pleasant. Whether it was or not, he would at least not be pestered by so many mysteries. 

It was no trouble at all to act agitated for Ron and Hermione's benefit. 

Harry had just tasted his trifle when it happened: Snape was summoned. Harry saw the slight twitch and the rapid exit. He thought it must be clear to anyone who knew. Dumbledore, of course, continued to placidly converse with Professor Sprout. At all the staff table, only Remus and Professor McGonagall glanced after the sweep of black robes through the door. 

Harry looked down at his plate and tried not to panic, or at least not to show it. What if Malfoy had figured it out? Or, as Remus had implied, merely reported that Harry Potter had been alone with Severus Snape in a warded room? Severus had said, though, that Dumbledore had bespelled him to be unable to harm a student, and Voldemort knew that. 

Harry looked down at his plate and poked at his trifle, separating the bits of fruit out from the rest of the mush. Severus had said that Voldemort had a new meeting place, near here. Perhaps he could find it. He glanced over at the Slytherin table. Draco was eating studiously, his focus never leaving his spoon. Draco had said that Slytherin had an item which displayed your distance to Snape. With that, he could find the Death Eaters. He could watch, and make sure Voldemort didn't kill his father. He could —

Harry stopped the thought there. _I could get killed,_ he told himself angrily. _Besides, how would I get Draco to give me this item? Oy, Draco, I want to find the DE meeting. Loan me the Severus Snape finder? No reason, just curious...._ _And what if he was the one who betrayed him in the first place? And even if he didn't, why not follow me and betray me? Ask for his father's freedom as a reward, even._

Harry stopped the thought there. _Nothing is wrong. Probably, nothing is wrong. It's just a summoning. He probably gets summoned all the time, I just don't usually see._

Still, Harry thought, it wouldn't do any harm to try to find the meeting. Perhaps he could use a location charm, if it was close enough. 

He stopped that line of thought, again. Desperately, he looked around for Ron or Hermione. They had both left. He abandoned his flattened trifle and set out for Gryffindor tower. 

 

Harry entered the Gryffindor common room. After a moment of looking frantically about, he saw Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Dean sitting near a window. He went over to them and stood awkwardly by their shared table.

"Harry?" Ron said in surprise. 

"I want a favor." Harry heard his voice come out cold, almost harsh, with tension. He tried to smile apologetically, but could not manage it. 

"Anything I can do for you," Ron said sincerely. 

"Don't let me leave, tonight." The four stared at him in silence. Harry hugged his arms tight over his body. "I mean — we could walk around the castle. And don't try to keep me tomorrow. This isn't my usual.... But if I leave here alone tonight, I'm going to do something really stupid." 

He watched the four exchange glances. Timidly, Hermione looked up at him. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

Again, there were uneasy glances all around, but then Ron shifted to the side, creating space between himself and Hermione. 

"Well, sit down and talk about Defense Against the Dark Arts, then." 

 

For a while, they did homework together. It began to seem almost as if they were all comfortably friends, again. Harry felt vaguely like he'd dropped into an alternate universe where the last two weeks of fights had never happened. He looked down at his hands. His fingers were longer than they used to be, and he was wearing an emerald ring. 

Ginny saw the look. "That's a spectacular ring," she said. "Where did you get it?"

"It was my mum's," Harry answered absently. 

"May I try it on?"

"No!" Harry winced at how fiercely the response came out. He smiled apologetically at her. "Sorry. It's charmed. I'm the only one who can wear it — until I decide to marry."

"Oh." Ginny gave first him, then the ring, an exaggerated wary look. "I'll pass, then." 

Harry pulled out his Transfiguration book and tried to read. He wasn't sure if Transfiguration was harder than it used to be because he was losing James's native talent, or because he couldn't look at Professor McGonagall without imaging how upset she was going to be. He made it through half a chapter before the words began to blur. 

 

A pale figure, dressed in black, was standing motionless in a large, high-ceilinged room. Another figure in black crawled forward and began to kiss the hem of the first's robe. Despite the black cloak and hood and the mask, even whiter than the Dark Lord's face, Harry knew who it was. He could feel it, feel his skin crawl as his father murmured "Master."

"So late," Voldemort hissed. "Again."

"I beseech your indulgence, my lord," Severus whined. "I cannot depart the great hall at a run." 

"My indulgence you shall have," Voldemort replied. His red eyes narrowed. " _Crucio!_ " He smiled thinly as the Death Eater twitched at his feet. "And you shall indulge me, also, laggard," he hissed. It was at least another ten seconds before he lowered his wand. He looked down. "Take your place in the circle, Severus."

"Thank you, Master," Severus panted. He crawled backward to the spot between two others before attempting to stand. Voldemort looked pleased. 

"Next week, it begins," he hissed. "We will start with our allies — all expendable — then continue the offensive on our own. I want everyone ready. All of you have six potential targets. Study them. When the night comes, I will tell you which to take. I will tolerate no failures. If your assigned targets do not die, you will die in their place."

"Yes, my lord."

"As you will, master."

"They are as dead already, lord." 

The murmurs of assent swelled and abated. The tall figure stopped in front of Severus. ""Except you."

"My lord?" Mild surprise. A touch of disappointment, perhaps.

"You are too valuable to permit such sport. You will make me weapons."

"Master."

"You will be here, Sunday, not at Hogwarts. I will not have your work monitored or compromised."

"Wise, my master." Severus bowed. 

"I will give you a list of the things I require before you leave. Have any needed components delivered to Avery."

"My lord —"

"Enough!" Voldemort said curtly. He moved on. In front of the next person, he paused and turned back. His red eyes narrowed to slits. "And Severus? Your work for me _will_ be monitored."

"I am loyal only to you, my lord."

"Perhaps." 

Harry screamed. 

 

He was on the floor of the Gryffindor common room with three people holding him down. Someone was saying "shit, oh shit, oh shit," and it took him a while to realize that was his own voice and stop. He took a deep breath, cut off what remained of the link, and focused. It was Hermione, Ron, and Dean restraining him, he realized. He cleared his throat. 

"Okay — you can let me up, now."

They released him slowly. 

"I thought this didn't happen anymore!" Hermione exclaimed, her voice nearly hysterical. Harry concentrated on breathing. "You said you knew Occlumency!"

"I do know Occlumency, but I generally only do it before bed. I can't walk around in that state all the time!" Harry sat and sagged back again the skirt of the couch. "He's very close."

"What!" Ron yelped. 

"It was a vision. A real —" Harry stopped himself. "It felt real," he clarified. "I have ways to check, but not immediately. I need to talk to Dumbledore before breakfast, but there's no point in doing it now." He had a sudden surge of panic for Severus. _No. He'll be fine. He's to come back Sunday._ His eyes focused on Hermione's concerned face. "Don't let me leave," he pleaded.

"S'all right, mate," Ron said firmly. "We won't let you leave." 

Harry looked nervously around. He could focus beyond his helpers, now, and he could see the other people in the room staring at him. 

"Let's get out of here," he said.

"Harry," Hermione began.

"Just — our old place to meet. That's all. Nowhere dangerous. Ginny and Dean can come." Harry laughed, a trifle hysterically. "I'm sure the four of you can handle me." 

"This is fine." 

"No it's not! There are too many people!" 

Ron took his wrist. "Come on, then. Let's go." 

 

In the corridor, Harry clarified that he had meant the Room of Requirement, when he said "our old place to meet." He did the walking up and down while his friends waited suspiciously, two at either end of the corridor. He waited politely for them at the door. 

He wasn't sure what they had been expecting — portkeys or weapons, perhaps — but clearly not a warm, cozy room with low couches and heaps of pillows, all dimly lit by scattered multi-colored fairy lights floating in mid-air. There was music — some sort of innocuous classical piece that Harry could not put a name to — and the whole place smelled faintly of warm milk and cardamom. 

_Odd touch, that,_ Harry reflected. _My subconscious is stranger than I thought._ He settled down on one of the low couches and pulled out his necklace. "Ron?" he asked, holding up the bubble wand. Ron looked uncertain. Harry shrugged, blew a stream of bubbles in the air, and caught as many as he could. He didn't quite laugh, but he smiled brightly, and was suddenly amused by the nervous looks on the others' faces. He stood up and stalked Hermione. 

"Come here, little student," he said intently. The words reminded him of Severus and Remus, which also made him smile. "Call it an experiment." Hermione backed up, shaking her head. Harry, laughing, turned from her, and immediately blew the potion at Ginny, who giggled. 

"Oy!" Ron exclaimed. 

"No harm done," Harry soothed. He blew more of the bubbles into the air between himself and Ron. "Come on, now. Touch. We'll all be much more reasonable." He popped one of the bubbles as he spoke. Nervously, Ron reached out and popped one, then smiled and did another. 

"Er... what is that?" Dean asked. 

Harry laughed. "A purely recreational potion, courtesy of yours truly." He laughed again. The bubbles were very pretty in the fairy lights. "My own invention." 

"You didn't tell me!" Ron said.

"But true. That's why I can't tell you about long term effects. This didn't exist until August." Harry blew more bubbles at Ginny, then some at an advancing Dean, then more back at Ron. He smiled at Hermione. 

"Come on, now. You're the only one left." 

"I'll watch, thanks." 

"As you wish." Harry stretched out on the couch. "What a boring life you must have." Ginny sat on the floor near him, and he played with her hair. It was lovely and shiny, and intensely red. _Such a pity only one of the boys wears his long,_ he thought. "So, tell me what you've all been doing," he suggested. "Ginny?"

"Enjoying my boyfriend!" Ginny said promptly. Harry blew another round of bubbles at Dean, as he sat next to Ginny. Harry touched his hair, too. It was springy and strange. Harry patted it and felt it bounce back. He patted it again.

"Worrying about you," Ron sighed, lying on the facing couch. 

Harry giggled. "Such a waste of energy. You, Hermione?"

"Researching Augustus Maitland and worrying about you," Hermione said. She sighed. "Loads," she added. "What about you?"

"Mmm. Learning subterfuge; befriending Malfoy, who's such a poor lost boy, some moments, and such a delightful devil others; overcoming my prejudices; playing the Kerner theramin; running from the past; looking for the past; watching the mangled remains of a romance that crashed before I was born; reflecting on love and hate and kinship, and whether or not I am a bad person to welcome my aunt's death." Harry leaned his head back onto the arm rest. He felt nearly content. "Damn. Should've asked it for cigarettes." 

Hermione frowned in disapproval. Dean twisted to look back at him in surprise. Harry blew more bubbles up in the air and watched them glitter with myriad reflected colors. He let them drift down onto him, and they broke one by one, suspending him in the spot he had already reached. He caught one on his finger and it stayed whole. 

"Hermione?" he asked. She stared at him. He blew the bubble at her and she let it hit. She smiled slightly. "More?" he asked.

"No, really. I'll just watch. Some other time, perhaps." Ginny and Dean had fallen down on the futon between the couches and were kissing languorously. Hermione moved into their former place, with her head near Harry's chest. Harry played with the curls of her hair. 

"How did you play the Dark detector?" she asked. 

"Occlumency. I closed off pieces of my link to Tom." 

"Oh. Do you like my hair?

"It's as beautiful as Ginny's and as interesting as Dean's," Harry answered. Hermione giggled. A laugh from Dean was muffled by Ginny's mouth. 

"Why Draco?"

"I feel sorry for him. And he needs to learn to make friends. And he's trying. And he's funny. And James said to eschew retaliation." 

The last reason slipped out before Harry could stop it. He had the simultaneous thoughts of _I felt like I still had more control than that,_ and _unedited, I use words like "eschew?"_

"James?" Hermione questioned sharply. Harry decided she was taking advantage of being the only unaffected person in the room, and he definitely should not have more bubbles. 

"I found some old letters my dad wrote," Harry explained solemnly. He managed a sigh. "I'd rather not talk about it." 

"Could I have more?" Ron interrupted. "What Ginny and Dean are doing is starting to bother me." 

Harry looked down. Ginny had straddled Dean. Her robes were open and he had his hands up her shirt. 

"Course." Harry blew some bubbles across to Ron, then had to flap a pillow at them to get them all the way across. Ron caught all the ones that made it and lay back down. "Blow more," he said. "Just for the lights." Harry blew another batch.

"Can you do something about this music?" Hermione asked, sounding annoyed. Harry listened for a moment. It was still some vaguely familiar somnolent piece with woodwinds and strings. "Don't know," he said. "What would you rather?"

"Something jazzy," Hermione suggested. Harry thought that he'd asked for an assortment of music. _Jazzy,_ he thought firmly. The music changed, causing everyone else to twitch. 

"Okay." Hermione grinned. "The Maple Leaf Rag wasn't what I had in mind, but it will do."

Ginny looked over and giggled. Harry suspected the "just for the lights" bubbles had mostly landed on her and Dean. "How am I supposed to snog to this?" she complained.

"You're not. Get off the boy and pull down your shirt," Harry ordered. "You can come back here with him on your own, rather than embarrassing your poor brother." 

"Who looks just crushed," Ginny said sarcastically, but she did get off Dean, who sat next to her, with one arm around her waist. 

"Did you say Malfoy is a lost little boy?" she asked, "or is this stuff hallucinogenic, too?" 

"He is, sometimes," Harry said defensively. "Just in little bits. His father's fallen from grace, both in the Dark Lord's circle and without it, and it's done odd things to his life. He finally gets to see who he has for friends."

"Like no one?" Ron suggested. 

"No, it's the other way round," Harry explained. "He always assumed he didn't have any real friends, and now it turns out some people truly like him. He's a bit embarrassed." He sat up and yawned. "But it's made him start trying, and I don't think he's ever done that before."

He decided he'd reached the mild calming potion stage, and it was time to take advantage of Ron's more open state. 

"Would you really betray me to him?"

"I don't know," Ron replied. "I don't think so. Perhaps if I was really pissed off at you, and had got myself into a state over it." 

"Do you still want to be an Auror?"

"I didn't have the O.W.L.s for it, remember?"

"But if you could be? What if they sent you after Remus?"

"Why would they do that?"

"Because he's a werewolf."

"That's not illegal." 

"Two months ago, not reporting his full moon location was not illegal. Who's to say?"

Hermione frowned. "Does that worry you?"

"That the government seems stuffed with hysterical, corrupt, unjust idiots? Yes." Harry sighed. "But I really admire a lot of the Aurors I know, and somebody has to do the job they ought to do. I don't know what to do about it."

"You should talk to Bill," Ron volunteered.

"Bill?" 

"Right. Mum and Dad wanted him to join the Ministry, of course, but Bill spent a long time thinking about it — even had an internship in the Department of Mysteries — then decided he couldn't support it. Dad didn't agree, of course. Talk to both of them, and you'll get both sides of it." 

They talked long after any lingering affects of bubble potion had faded, but in the cozy, dim room, everyone stayed peaceful, Hermione as much as the rest of them. She made a soft, pleased noise when Harry kissed her hair. 

"Love you," he said. He chanted it softly in her ear. "Love you, love you, love you."

"But are you in love with me?" she asked coyly. 

"Damned if I know," Harry confessed. "How can I tell when you're so pretty?" 

"You're such a darling, foolish boy," Hermione reproved gently.

"And you're so too worried. It will be all right."

"And if it's not?" 

He slid an arm around her, carefully staying above her breasts, and held her tight. "Then two targets like us will likely not be around to care." 

 


	46. The Game

 

Harry was woken by Ron in the morning.

"Hm?"

"Do you want breakfast?"

"Suppose." Harry sat up and yawned. "Let me get dressed." 

It wasn't that he felt any better about what Ron had done, he thought; it just seemed too awkward to go back to avoiding social contact with him. He was still musing about how he should treat Ron when they arrived in the common room. Hermione was waiting for them, or perhaps just for Ron. She turned a bit red when she saw Harry. 

"Hi," Harry said. 

"Good morning. How are you feeling?"

"Fine. I still need —" Harry stopped himself. "I need to talk to Dumbledore," he said. 

"May I walk with you?" Hermione asked. The request had a "we need to talk" tone to it. Harry hesitated a moment before consenting. 

They left the room in silence, and went down the stairs likewise. It wasn't until they turned down the corridor to Dumbledore's office that Hermione spoke. 

"I didn't get _anything_ done, last night."

"Of course you did," Harry answered. 

"Not really."

"You kept me from getting myself killed. That's something." 

"You wouldn't really have —"

Harry stopped and turned to face her. "Voldemort was within walking distance of Hogwarts!" he said emphatically. "He summoned the Death Eaters. I wanted to go and spy, because there are people I want to keep safe. I kept nearly convincing myself it was a good idea." Harry took a deep breath and looked seriously at Hermione, who was now wide-eyed with fear. "You did a lot last night, just by being there and not scolding too much." 

"Oh," Hermione managed. She forced a shaky smile. "A particular blond went too far, perhaps?"

Harry gave a short laugh. "Ask me no questions; I'll tell you no lies." 

"I see," said Hermione grimly. Harry was confident she didn't. She let out a long breath. "That — last night.... Do you do that often?"

Harry's desire to be reassuring was in conflict with the knowledge her concern was useful, and he should lead her on. After hesitating for an awkward length of time, he said:

"Of course not." He waited for her nod to start, then added, "it's no fun alone." 

Her head whipped back up to stare at him, and he felt his smile grow broader. He lifted his eyebrows at her. "Yes?" he inquired mockingly. 

She looked at him angrily. "How are you supposed to save the world if you're so high that you have to stop and play with everyone's hair?"

His amusement died instantly. "I'm not supposed to save the world," he said grimly; "I'm supposed to kill Voldemort. I have no idea how I'll do that. I don't want to kill." 

Hermione looked stunned. "Oh, Harry!" she exclaimed in sympathy, and she embraced him. He submitted to the touch and tried not to let the comfort remind him of things that hurt. 

"Anyway," he said to her softly, while nuzzling at her hair, "I expect that something that lasts fifteen minutes, with only five of that really affecting competence, is unlikely to damage my chances much. Now, go to breakfast. I really do need to talk to Professor Dumbledore." 

 

"Harry! What an unexpected pleasure," Professor Dumbledore said cordially. "Please sit down." 

Harry eyed him uncertainly as he sat. "Do you mean that?" he asked.

"Unexpected, a pleasure, or sit down?" Dumbledore asked cheerfully.

"Well, I'm confident of the 'sit down' part. 

"Perhaps not completely unexpected," Dumbledore admitted, with a slight smile, "but I was not certain you would come, either." He nodded his head. 'And, you may be assured, I am always pleased to see you."

"Thank you," Harry said politely. "I wanted — Is Severus back?"

"Yes. He returned before midnight."

"Does he need to go back on Sunday?

Dumbledore looked startled, then disappointed. "Your father told me you had enough control to stop the visions."

"They don't seem to come on while I'm awake, anymore," Harry explained hastily. "And before I go to sleep at night, I make sure to clear my mind as much as possible, so I haven't had any during the night, either. But this-- I dozed off during my Transfiguration reading. I was completely unprepared." 

"And what did you do?" Dumbledore inquired. 

"I'd already told some of my friends not to let me leave, so I was pretty well taken care of."

Dumbledore nodded. "A wise precaution." He smiled. "And so you were not unprepared, after all. Still, you should be able to break the connection after the vision starts. Could you do that?"

"No. Once I'm in it, I want to see everything."

"Perhaps you should have a few lessons with me, as well."

"That might help. Oh — I told Draco — Malfoy — that I'd studied Occlumency with you."

"Should young Mr. Malfoy be informed of your skills?" the old wizard asked mildly.

"I'd already rather displayed them, unfortunately. He was asking who taught me. He knows how to do it too! We used it to get weird noise changes out of a Kerner Dark Detector. No one else seemed to understand how we did it, though, so I think no one else knew Occlumency."

Dumbledore laughed. "I haven't seen that done in many decades!" His smile grew distant for a moment. "One of my companions in the fight against Grindelwald could play 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' that way. Rather slurred, but recognizable." The headmaster looked sharply at Harry. "Did you do this during class?"

Harry nodded. "Looking back at it, it was rather rude."

"Professor Lupin will not be able to complain, you know," Dumbledore confided with merry cheer. "If he does, Professor McGonagall will be smiling behind her hand, and Professor Flitwick will tell him it's no more than he deserves."

"Impudence and disruption?"

"Of the cleverest sort, and from a student who charms him." 

Harry looked down. "And one who doesn't. He's worried that I'm talking to Draco, now." 

"Ah." Dumbledore looked thoughtful. "Do you feel the association will do you any harm?"

"No."

"In that case, I would advise — as you might expect — that you continue it. I have never allowed others' opinions to dissuade me from alliances of any sort." 

"Such as my father." 

"Yes," Dumbledore admitted. "Speaking of which," he added, pushing aside some things on his desk, "he left a message for you." He handed Harry a folded note. "He suggested you read it here and not take it with you, as a precaution." 

The note, on the outside, was addressed to "Harry." Inside, the text started without any salutation:

 

Thank you for your forbearance; I was relieved not to find you in my rooms, last night. I have rescheduled our meeting to tonight, although I may not be free until after student curfew. Please come down before then and let yourself in — I will leave the Floo blocked — and I will join you when I am able to do so. 

 

Harry tried to restrain a smile. "I'm invited down after curfew." 

"Yes, we discussed this, and he has my approval." Dumbledore looked warningly at Harry. "I will not protect you from punishment if you are caught, however."

"Obviously," Harry agreed. For a moment, both were silent. 

"Is that all?" Dumbledore asked gently. "Or is there something else you wish to ask me?"

Harry paused a moment, preparing himself. "What's the state of the guardianship question?" he asked. 

"There will be no substantial news until the hearing, two weeks from tomorrow. In all honesty, I expect my plea to be rejected. The leader of those deciding wants me to lose, and my claim is not substantial. He can even note that I was given leeway the last time you required a guardian, and the decision I made then did not turn out to be in your best interests." 

"So what will happen?"

"The Ministry will claim custody of you, and they must allow four weeks for that claim to be appealed. That gives us until All Souls Day."'

"But won't Fudge have control over me for those four weeks?"

"Yes, but he is unlikely to do anything that might make observers uneasy. I suspect you will remain here, living much as you have. He may send you gifts, or visit, but perhaps not." 

"What about Severus's history? Won't people object to me going to someone who was a confessed Death Eater?"

"Certainly they will object, but it will not matter. He is your father. An objection from you would be the only one taken as valid." Dumbledore hesitated. "In fact, as you were conceived with Herem, you are entirely his child. If Lily were still alive, even she would have no legal right to you." 

"What?"

"Lily and James went to great lengths to protect you, Harry. They could have gone to Azkaban for keeping you from him."

Harry looked down, both horrified and awed. 

"James," he said slowly, remembering, "called me his stolen child."

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "Herem is the Heir Spell, and performing it is a contract both legal and, to many, sacred. You were conceived to be Severus Snape's heir."

Harry thought. "Will this damage their reputations?" he asked.

Dumbledore looked surprised at the question. "Perhaps a bit," he conceded. He smiled warmly at Harry. "But mostly among those who already hate them. Don't worry about it. In general, it will be seen as a romantic tragedy of honor and love. The populace at large will readily forgive them." 

"Do you think they were right to do what they did?" Harry asked tentatively. He felt a stab of fear, and realized he had never allowed himself to think otherwise. 

Dumbledore sighed. "I have considered that for many hours since Severus first came to me with his letter from Lily. I am not sure. He does, indeed, have more control than he did, then — both self-control and resistance to Voldemort. They were certainly better suited to raise a child, and, despite their deaths, more likely to live. He was terribly reckless in the days before Voldemort's first fall. After it, he was bitter and melancholy, but stopped, for the most part, deliberately endangering himself." Dumbledore sat back and stroked his beard. 

"You have been good for him," he declared. "I have caught glimpses in him of a humor I had thought long dead. I think he has, perhaps, even been good for you." Dumbledore smiled. "Now, would a baby have improved his disposition then? I don't know. Perhaps it would have made it worse. He certainly could not have spied for me, once it was known he deliberately had fathered a child upon a Muggle-born witch." Dumbledore rose. "It is useless to speculate. What is done, is done. They meant well, I am certain." He glanced at the clock. "You have just enough time to run down to the Great Hall, take food from the table, and eat it on your way to class, I think."

Harry knew a dismissal when he heard one. "Good day, professor," he said, and he ran. 

 

Harry he remembered he would need to start preparing his "squib drug" cover for tonight's absence, and did his best to act out the irritability of a withdrawal he had never experienced. To this end, he spent much of the day putting off Hermione, who wanted to talk to him about the problem of killing Voldemort, and being friendly to her and Ron for short periods, then snubbing them. He hoped Hermione did not link his behavior to the bubble potion, which had never caused any ill effects. By the time classes got out, Hermione had given up on him for the day, and left to study in the library. Ron accepted Harry's behavior with deliberate humility, but Harry could tell he was becoming increasingly irritated, and only tolerated it as penance. Forty minutes before the library closed and the students were supposed to be back in their houses, Harry declared that he needed to get a book. He picked up his bag and left Ron in the common room. 

When he reached the ground floor of the castle, Harry ducked into an alcove, donned his invisibility cloak, and quietly headed for the dungeons. He reached Snape's rooms without incident, brewed some tea, and sat at the kitchen table to resume work on his Transfiguration essay. 

He'd written nine inches to a required seven and was working on his conclusion before he heard the door open and close. There was a muttered word, too far away to identify, then a quick call of "Harry?"

"In here," Harry called back. 

Snape swept into the doorway in a swirl of black. He stood there a moment, looking haughty and stern, then suddenly collapsed into a chair and leaned his head into his hands. 

"Tea?" Harry asked. 

"Please," Severus muttered. 

"What was it?" Harry asked. "Three-headed dogs? Exploding potions? Your old crowd?"

"Worse," Severus growled. "Parents."

Harry laughed. 

"Oh, you laugh," Severus said in a wounded tone. "You haven't spent the last two hours trying to explain to the Warringtons that while I might make an exception to my general policy had their precious heir managed an Exceeds Expectations in his Potions O.W.L.s, two Satisfactories is not sufficient to admit him to Advanced Potions to the detriment of other students. And if I won't lower my standards for him, the Head of Gryffindor House is certainly not going to do so for Transfiguration. And so on." He took the cup of tea that Harry put in front of him and warmed it with a spell. "Anyway, it's done, and I believe they are the last for this year." 

He looked up and took a sip of the tea. "How has your week been?"

"Horrible," Harry answered. "Ron and Hermione were worse until Monday afternoon, when I went off with Malfoy, then suddenly they decided to apologize. They admitted they had traded information on me to him, but I think just because he'd threatened to blackmail them. Last night, I desperately wanted to follow you, so I stopped snubbing them and told them to keep me here. Then I dozed off while doing my homework, and the link opened, because I wasn't prepared, and I had to watch you, there —"

"You should not need to be prepared. If your response to seeing me had showed him anything —"

"He didn't become aware of me, I think. That's usually obvious. But yes, I've talked to Dumbledore, and he wants to give me additional lessons. I can do more with you too, if you'd like."

"Yes," Snape said emphatically. "We'll discuss it later. What did you see?"

Harry related the vision, trying to conceal his horror at his father's obeisance to Voldemort, while covering strategic matters with precision. He deliberately glossed over the more humiliating details of the exchange, but he could see Severus's face darken as his account continued past each elision. "He expressed distrust of you several times," Harry said awkwardly, "and you averred your loyalty."

"And?" Snape asked. 

"It ended there. He looked at you, there was a great deal of pain, and I was on the floor of the common room with Ron, Hermione, and Dean holding me down."

"Ah. He hit me with Cruciatus, again, while using Legilimency. This, of course, causes some of the pain to rebound on him, but can create exploitable mental openings."

"Oh. So I got more backlash, I suppose." 

"And what then?"

"Well, I'd told them to keep me from leaving, so there was no point in trying to find you. I did say I needed to be somewhere quieter, though, so we went to an empty room and I dispensed lots of bubble stuff, until even Hermione, who wouldn't touch any, was relaxed, just because everyone else was. After that, it was a pretty good evening, but now Hermione's really worried about me, again, and I can't dissuade her, because that's useful." He shrugged. "So you _do_ need to go back Sunday."

"Yes. That will be from before dawn until well after dark." 

"Does that worry you?"

"No, really. He's demanded that before." Severus hesitated. "The attack worries me more — the attack, and that I have not heard more details on it. I do not even know which 'allies' are involved." 

"Do the others?"

"Some, I believe. Not many." Dark eyes glittered as Severus looked up suddenly. "It is not all suspicion of me. The Dark Lord has been more close with his plans since Rookwood gave testimony, after his capture last spring."

"Shouldn't we try to do something?"

"Without knowing the nature of the attacks, it is difficult to say what. Dumbledore is arranging some level of protection for Hogsmeade. The Dark Lord's new preferred meeting place is on the outskirts of Hogsmeade, on some property recently purchased by one of Goyle's cousins. The positioning may indicate targets there."

Severus shifted, and pushed his empty cup away. "Is that essay due tomorrow?"

"Yes, but I'm on the concluding paragraph." 

Severus stood. "Finish, then — take your time — and meet me in the sitting room when done." With that, he left, in another swirl of robes. Harry looked back at his paper and tried to remember what he had been thinking about quality transference. 

 

When Harry went into the sitting room, Severus had undone the collar buttons on his formal robe, and was sitting in his usual chair and contemplating a still-full glass of dark red wine. Harry studied him for a moment. 

"Elegantly melancholy," he announced, "in a sort of nineteenth-century way. Eighteenth, perhaps. I'm not too clear on these things." 

"What?" Severus responded, choking back a laugh. 

"You." Harry sat down at the near end of the couch, and tucked his feet up to the side. "I'm not sure about the wine though," he continued. "The absinthe would suit the look better, though opium would be best."

Severus did laugh, at that. "Should I ever want a drug to match my demeanor, I will be certain _not_ to ask you." 

Harry nodded cheerfully. "It's a rather Muggle interpretation, I expect. So," he asked, "what were you so pensive about?"

Severus shot him an intent look, then turned his attention back to his wine. "Professor Lupin," he said formally, "came to speak to me about you." 

"Oh."

"It was rather odd. Only one active professor knows that I am your father, and he shows up in my office, demanding a word with me about my son." He looked askance at Harry's snigger. "He was surprisingly forceful." 

"So what did he say? I interrupt and I know too much about Dark Arts?"

"I told him that his inability to keep discipline was not my concern. His primary worry seemed to be not your conduct in class, but your association with young Mr. Malfoy."

"Oh." Harry wondered how much Severus shared that concern. 

"I dismissed the matter as his imagination. I was much displeased, this morning, to find you sitting next to him, talking." 

"Why?" Harry asked. "You like Draco, don't you?"

"I do, but you should not trust him."

"I don't!" Harry protested. "I've been waiting for a chance to talk to you, so I could ask you what was up with him. He's been decent to me, mostly." 

"If he's been 'decent' to you, then he's setting up some plan."

"Perhaps he's just lonely."

"Malfoys do not get 'lonely.'"

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Is the problem that he's Draco, or that he's a Malfoy?"

"The problem is that he is a vicious, manipulative, avid supporter of the Dark Lord! Make some attempt to think, boy!"

"I know all of that," Harry said coldly. "Though the last may be shifting. He seems — and yes, I did hear 'manipulative' — _seems_ quite resentful that the Dark Lord has not rescued his father." __

"How much time have you spent with him?"

"Not much. We talk before Potions, usually, and walking from there to Defense. The day we played with Occlumency, he caught me out by the pitch, and I took him over to Hagrid's to show him an adder I've been chatting with --"

Harry watched Severus lock his jaw and swallow, then clear his throat. He had the amused suspicion he'd nearly made the man spray his wine. "Excuse me," Severus gasped, and blew his nose. 

"My point!" declared Harry triumphantly. Severus ignored him.

"Do you often chat with adders?"

"Now I do." Harry shifted to straighten his legs out and crossed his arms over his chest. "So I'm a Parselmouth. Big deal."

"Well, yes, it is, actually. There hasn't been a Parselmouth in my family in three hundred years." Snape thought for a moment. "Reputedly less on the Indian side, but we don't have accurate records of that." 

"Aha! So I don't necessarily get it from Voldemort."

"But you do. If you got it from me, it would not have manifested until this year. And _don't_ say his name!"

"Oh. Right." Harry shrugged. "Even so, it seems stupid to be ashamed of it. The normal snakes I've met have been okay."

"Normal?"

"As opposed to the basilisk and Nagini." Harry shrugged. "The snake Draco sent after me was narky, but who wouldn't be after being shot out of a wand, then dropped on their head by Lockhart?"

Severus snorted. "What else have you done with _Draco?_ "

"That's about it. We had a talk this morning about Ron. He's going to tell me what Ron does when I'm not around —"

"And do you believe he will tell you the truth?" Severus asked bitingly. 

"Not half. I borrowed Remus's Verifier. I'm as interested in what Draco tells me as in what Ron does." 

Severus conceded with a nod. "Continue to talk to the boy, then, but continue to approach it sensibly. I'll ask him what he intends for you, as it is clear I have noticed your association."

"Rather. He was terribly indignant that you took points from Slytherin!" Harry thought for a moment. "Was yesterday's lesson really something used for poisoning?"

"Yes. Of course, it's also used to make medicines that don't taste bad."

"Why don't you, then?"

"In my circles," Severus said, making the phrase threatening, "it is considered impolite to mask the taste of a potion. If it could have something harmful hidden in it, the assumption is that it does." 

"But the kids don't care!" 

"Some do." Severus's black eyes glittered like hard coal. "None should be led to trust tasteless and odorless solutions." 

Harry shivered. "So, what did you tell Professor Lupin?" he asked hastily.

Severus had to think about that for a minute. Harry saw his face tighten, but he could not map an emotion to the reaction.

"I didn't," he said finally. "We fought, and I ordered him out." He took a swallow of his wine, then stared at it moodily. "Do you think Lupin is changing?" he asked absently.

"He's quicker-tempered," Harry replied, after a moment's thought. "He seems tired even when it's not near the moon. I think it may be losing Sirius, again."

"He's become stronger, in a way," Severus mused. "He needs the anger to support it, but he stood up to me for longer than I expected." He took another sip of the wine. "You seem to bring this out in him, now. I don't know that I like that." 

"He wants me to visit him weekly," Harry said tentatively.

"Visit?" Severus growled. 

"He says he doesn't want to lose me." Harry grinned. "I think he's afraid of me falling into bad habits, from your influence, or Draco's. May I? I don't see him enough, privately, now that term's started." 

"When?"

"Sunday, four to six?"

"Make it Saturday, this week. I want to be at the school whenever you are with him. And show up to dinner, or I will be attacking him with likely false accusations."

"Though you know it."

"I will believe all of them, if I do not see you."

 

Their conversation turned to lighter things: Brazilian snakes, Quidditch, and Weasleys on bubble potion -- and Harry relaxed. The fire-lit room was familiar and safe, and his father's occasional sly digs led to comfortable banter. When Severus quizzed Harry about his games with the Kerner Dark Detector, Harry was exacting in his account of the logistics of it and Draco's later analysis, but did not hesitate to include the impact of Draco's cool boldness and the exhilaration of interweaving his manipulations with Draco's in a strange dance of music. Severus was amused, and clearly pleased by his ability, but warned him to be more discreet. 

"Which reminds me," Harry said, deflecting the matter, "that you said too much, yourself, a few weeks ago."

"What?"

"That jibe to Ron about Augustus Maitland? It set Hermione to investigating." 

"I don't care if she knows who Augustus was. It is public information."

"But she's found all sorts of things about your class. She even found a picture of you and Remus, though she didn't recognize you. If she'd found a picture of you and my mum...."

Severus grasped the implications quickly. "That had not occurred to me."

"She found the stories about his death." Harry watched his father closely. Severus shuddered, but didn't say anything. Harry braced himself. "Why was he alone?"

"Because I was not with him." When Harry did not ask anything more, Severus elaborated. "It was not my choice. I had expressed some regrets to him about these targets, and either he decided to humor me, or he did not trust me. He lied to me about the time. When I apparated into our meeting point in the barn, the yard was already swarming with Aurors. I managed to get out, again. It wasn't until morning that I found out he had died." 

Severus's voice was steady, but his hand trembled, sending ripples across the wine. He noticed and put it down, then clasped his hand together at his chest.

"If you had been there, would you have killed the other children?"

Severus bent his head forward, hiding much of his face behind a fall of dirty hair. "Yes," he whispered. 

"Was there a game, like James heard?"

Severus shuddered. "Yes, but...." He took a shaky breath. "It was just winter holidays, my seventh year. Lucius started it. In retrospect, I believe it was a deliberate invention -- he wanted both of us more ruthless — but at the time, it seemed a moment's whimsy. Augustus and I were discussing which of a couple was more dangerous, and he came in, all sly humor and grace, to say 'twenty points for him, twenty-five for her, and ten points bonus if you get both.' He ended the game when term started, graciously noting that would give him an unfair advantage. It never started up again." 

"What was the final score?" Harry asked bitingly.

Severus raised his head and looked at Harry for the first time since Harry had asked about Augustus's death. Harry was not sure how his own face looked, but considering his horror at the account, it could not have been good. Severus bared his teeth in a vicious sneer. 

"I told you I was a killer," he spat. "Don't sit there and look surprised."

"I'm not, but ... a six-year-old?" Harry said plaintively. "In front of her family? What purpose does that serve?"

Severus looked down, again, resting his forehead on interlaced fingers, so that his face was completely hidden. 

"They weren't real people, you know," he said, quickly and breathlessly, "real children." He hesitated. "Just half-bloods."

"Like me."

"Yes." 

Severus's voice was flat. Harry watched him intently for a while, but he showed no sign of looking up. Cautiously, Harry stood, and took the two steps to the side of Severus's chair. The man still did not look up. From here, Harry could see that his eyes were scrunched closed behind his hands. 

Carefully, he knelt beside the chair and rested his elbow on its arm. 

"Father?"

In hesitant twitches, his father's fingers disentangled, and the far hand moved to clasp Harry's. Severus still kept most of his face covered with the other hand, and his eyes remained closed, but his fingers interwove with Harry's and grasped tight. Harry had to bite his lip to keep from gasping at the pressure, but he stayed still, though the hold hurt and the stone floor was hard under his knees, and returned the grip firmly. 

He thought it was about ten minutes, though it could have been fewer — or more — before Severus spoke.

"It was harder, after you were born," he said. He had uncovered his face, now, but still did not look at Harry. "I had — regretted it, already, but not in this close, personal way. I would look at Lily, holding you in her arms and cooing, and imagine being sent to kill her, and you. It wasn't just that you were what I couldn't have, as James thought; you were what I destroyed." His voice grew bitter and tight. "A Mudblood girl and her half-blood child — shall we say ten points? Fifteen if she's got her wand."

Harry looked away. The hold on his hand tightened again. 

"I'm sorry," Severus whispered. "But there's nothing I can do."

"Except going to meetings and abasing yourself and getting tortured and making them weapons and hoping what you find out balances out the harm you need to do?"

"Yes." His voice was still a whisper, despite Harry's challenging tone.

"How about staying here and making things for Dumbledore's old crowd, and listening to me and making sure I don't go too crazy, and _not dying_ on me!" 

"But if I die, it will be over," Severus said, his lips moving in the ghost of a smile. "At last."

"Not for _me_ it won't. Please? I never got to know any of the others." The hysteria Harry had been fighting down since mentioning Maitland rose up at the thought of Sirius, of James, of his Mum, all dead. "I want you to still be here when I'm really grown up. I want to come and visit you. I want to bring you grandchildren and let you hold them." He looked desperately at Severus. "Please? I'll let you name one, if you live." 

Severus disentangled his hand quickly, then stood up and turned away. "I have work I need to do," he said harshly. "You are welcome to stay here for a while longer. I should be back in an hour, perhaps two." 

Before he finished speaking, he had reached the door to the hallway. It closed behind him with a heavy clack.

 

Harry realized he had been asleep. This wasn't too surprising, as he had dowsed all the lights but the fire and lain down on the couch, to surrender to sheer emotional exhaustion. The fire had burned down to embers, which now cast only the faintest shifting light. He lay still, trying to determine what had woken him. He wondered if Severus was still out, and if he could creep off to his bed, unseen. He pretended to still be asleep while he listened. It wasn't hard to feign sleep. He was nearly there. 

He heard quiet steps approaching and pretended harder, hoping Severus would not wake him to make him leave. The footsteps stopped, and he heard the movement of heavy robes as a figure knelt beside him. He had a moment's panicked thought: _what if it's someone else?_ but the newcomer had the changing mix of strange scents that clung to someone who had just been working on potions. Harry prepared to be woken. 

A hand that smelt of cloves and dragon's blood, like acrid christmas cakes, brushed hair back from his brow. The next feeling was odd, and it took the following warmth of breath for Harry to realize that Severus had just kissed his forehead. 

"My dear child," the man whispered hoarsely. "Lily's dear child." His voice lowered still further, until it was almost inaudibly light. "I love you," he breathed. His fingers brushed Harry's hair once more, and he stood and walked away. 

Harry listened, now far from sleep, his heart beating as frantically as if he had just fought a duel, while his father crossed the room occasionally, in preparations for bed. Finally, Severus retreated to his bedroom. When all had been quiet for a bit, Harry got up, and went through the kitchen to his own bed. There, he slept again.

 


	47. Morning Light

 

Harry was woken by a flare of lights. 

"Get up," ordered a biting voice. Harry focused through the glare at his window. 

"Still dark out," he complained sleepily.

"And you need to be back before anyone wakes." Severus gave his shoulder a quick shove. "Up, now." Harry sat and rubbed his eyes, then got out of bed. He had slept in his shirt and underwear, but the rest of his clothes were in a tangle on the floor. He could only find one sock. 

Severus had crossed to the window and was looking out at the darkness. "What you said, last night, about leaving the Dark Lord...."

Harry pulled up his trousers. "Yes?"

"It is ... not that easy. I'm not certain what I will do when I must. He can make my Mark burn whenever he has one of us to signal through — or without, with more effort. He could keep me from functioning. He might be able to drive me insane." 

A flash of panic brought Harry thoroughly awake. He hadn't thought about the Dark Mark at all, but now he remembered how edgy Severus and Karkaroff had been when Voldemort first started to return — before any summoning — and how even the rigidly controlled Potions master would flinch when summoned. He watched as Severus pulled his black robes in tight around him. 

"I could have the arm removed, of course," he continued bitterly, "but without two hands, I'm rather useless." 

Harry tried to force his just-woken mind to think. "I know oath marks are supposed to be permanent," he said, as he drew on his robes, "but what would happen if you removed just the skin?"

"Then the Mark would be gone — until the skin grew back."

"Oh." The panic was turning to horror now. Being unable to brew would drive Severus mad as inevitably as persistent physical torture. He would be trapped with his thoughts and his memories, and no sense of worth to balance them. 

"I could have a magical arm attached, of course — but I'm not sure the Mark wouldn't manifest on that, as well. It is in my soul, you see. That can overcome any surgical procedure." The sock fell out of somewhere in Harry's robes. Harry ignored it and walked over to his father. He shivered as his bare feet left the carpet for the cold stone floor. He stopped a pace behind and to the side of Severus, where he could just see his face.

"I suppose I'll just have to kill him for you, then," he said casually. His heart was hammering in his chest as he tried to calculate how much time he had. _Six weeks? A bit less. Why didn't he mention this sooner?_

Severus whipped around. He glared. 

"That is _not_ your job."

"But it is. I kill him or he kills me." Harry tried to regain his previous light tone. _My destiny, and all that._ He tried to imagine how Fred would pose, just to make it less real. He shrugged. "Might as well get it over with."

"If you attempt it now, he will kill you." Severus scowled at Harry. "You will stay out of the war until you are an adult."

"You didn't."

"No. I did not. Which rather proves my point, does it not?" Severus gave Harry one of his most vicious looks, and, despite himself, Harry backed up a pace. 

"I'm not you," he complained.

"And you're not going to be. Now finish getting dressed." 

Harry hurriedly pulled on his socks, and then his shoes. That was all he had in the bedroom. He followed Severus out to the kitchen and picked up his school bag. "So," he asked, "will I be trained?"

"In what?"

"Anything. Anything you think may help. I should be able to kill him by the time I leave here, shouldn't I? Because I will try."

Severus whirled (twelve inches up, three-quarters wrap, Harry noted absently) and stalked into the sitting room.

"We don't have time to discuss this now."

"You mean you're afraid to!" Harry challenged.

"My reluctance to discuss this does not make it less true that we do NOT HAVE TIME!" Severus stopped next to Harry's invisibility cloak, which was hanging by the door, and visibly worked at pulling his temper under control. "I will speak with Dumbledore about the prophecy," he said tightly, "and any plans he may have. We will discuss it next time we meet."

"Agreed. When?"

"Saturday, after lunch, my lab. You can help me with some work. Now get to bed while everyone's asleep." 

Harry nodded, but did not move. He found himself wanting to touch his father, but he couldn't work out how to do it. A hug would definitely be too much, and he wasn't sure he could bring himself to try it, anyway. 

"Well?" Severus demanded. 

Nervously, Harry reached out a hand and touched the other's arm, just below the shoulder. Severus jerked back. 

"Sorry!" Harry said quickly. 

"What was that about?"

"I didn't — I hate to leave after a fight. I just — I'm sorry, I know you don't like me being affectionate." Harry reddened at the sound of his own babble. He looked down. For a moment he heard his own breath in the silence. 

"But I do," Severus confessed softly. He touched the outside of Harry's arm lightly, in an echo of Harry's gesture. "I just don't know what to do about it." His voice grew stronger and harsher. "I'm not certain I approve. I certainly don't deserve such a thing, and you should be more judicious in your affection."

"Some things are just free," Harry said fiercely. "I do not owe you anything for having conceived me — not affection, or obedience, or gratitude, or any of those things — and you do not need some banking of favors or virtue for me to love you. That just _is_." Frightened at having said so much, Harry smiled and added quickly, "and we're fighting, again."

"Of course we're fighting," his father answered dryly, picking up the way out. "We always fight." To Harry's surprise, he did not fully retreat. "So why do you obey me?" he pressed, "If you don't feel I'm owed that? You have ceded to things you consider unreasonable." 

"I said I don't owe you anything for conceiving me. I do owe you something for taking care of me — more than you're required to, I mean. The Dursleys never took care of me more than they were required to."

"A good deal less, I would say." 

"And I'm not _that_ obedient. I stayed a few minutes after Defense, yesterday, because I needed to speak privately to Professor Lupin." 

"Harry...."

"You know, I better get back to my dormitory. People will start waking up, soon!" Harry said brightly. 

Severus snorted in amusement. "Very well. Make your escape. It merely gives me longer to think about my response." 

Harry, feigning panic, flipped on his cloak and ducked out the door. 

 

On his way through the empty corridors, Harry thought about what he had said. To his relief, he did not regret any of it. It occurred to him that if affection did not need to be deserved, he had an easy solution to the problem of Ron and Hermione. He liked them — loved them, in their own ways, really — and though they were not, under current circumstances, fully trustworthy, he could still feel that and express it. 

In a glow of contentment, Harry hurried back to Gryffindor tower. 

 

When he entered the common room, there was a sudden movement on one of the couches by the fire. 

"Who's there?!" Ron called wildly, with the artificial alertness of someone who has been suddenly woken. Harry could just see him in the glow of the low fire. He wondered if he could get up the stairs and into bed before Ron came looking for him. 

"Harry?" Ron called. 

Harry looked at the windows. From the barely lit room, the dark sky had a subtle blue tint. He judged it to be past five o'clock. He sighed to himself. He wouldn't have to fake a morning-after fog, at all. Or should he still be affected?

"Fuck," Ron said to himself. 

Harry pushed back his hood. 

"Sorry to wake you," he said. "Let's get up to bed, shall we?"

Ron stumbled to his feet. "What time is it?"

"Dunno." Harry grinned. "Still night, though." __

"I stayed up till two!"

"Sorry. I fell asleep." Harry nudged him amicably, pushing him off-balance. "You know better than to wait up for me!"

Ron looked at the clock, then at Harry. He smiled slightly. "Who's the girl?" he asked.

"What girl?" Harry countered, amused. _I suppose that would be the easiest way to accidentally fall asleep,_ he mused.

"Give over, Harry! I can see you not wanting to let Hermione know, so soon after she dumped you, but you're obviously in love!"

"I am not!" Harry retorted.

"I have never before seen you all smiles before six a.m."

Harry rolled his eyes. Ron did not think the way Hermione did. "Well, there are all sorts of love," he demurred. "Nothing romantic going on with me."

"Well, whose bed did you sleep in, then?"

"No bed, no girl," Harry said airily. He yawned. "I fell asleep on a sofa. Alone." 

"Well, what do you mean about sorts of love, then?"

Harry tried to recall how he'd sorted things out on his walk upstairs. Exhaustion made it difficult to think clearly, and he knew he shouldn't speak clearly, anyway, as he wasn't supposed to be capable of that, right after returning. He decided a semi-coherent ramble was fine.

"Well, look," he said. "There's the way I love Hermione, and that might be romantic, or it might just be that I love her in a simple way, and then think she's pretty, on top of that. I'm not sure. There's the way I love you, and that _is_ simple, and I _know_ it's not romantic, but then I don't think you're pretty, so no complications." Harry grinned at Ron, who gave him an uncertain half-smile in return. "There's the way I love your mother," Harry continued, deciding he should make the separation from sex clearer, "which is an uncertain sort of love that's half gratitude." 

Harry looked around the familiar common room, with its comfortable chairs, grouped for talking, and its bright colors, the red now muted by the dark, but bits of gold still glimmering. He loved Gryffindor, too, as a concept as much as a place, but he thought that saying so would muddy his point still further. He wasn't quite sure what his point was, for all that. His eyes were drawn to the glowing embers of the fire, and he remembered another low fire in the dark common room, where he had crouched to talk to Sirius, so Sirius could advise him on dragons. 

"There's the way I loved Sirius," he said, a familiar stab of pain cutting even through his new joy, "which was supposed to be one thing, but ended up being another, because he was supposed to be my guardian and look after me, but he always seemed to be the one who needed protection and reassurance." He couldn't mention his father, so he chose the next closest adult for comparison. "Remus is closer to what Sirius should have been — a sort of mentor." He looked uncertainly at Ron. "Does this make any sense to you?"

"No."

Ron looked not only confused, but anxious. Harry sighed. He really should have kept his mouth shut at the start.

"I'm not explaining well. I'm really tired. Look, there's romantic love, like boyfriend/girlfriend love, and then there's friends love, and then the love for older people who take care of you, and the love for people you take care of, and all of those can overlap, and they can all be enhanced by other things, like trust or shared interests, but those other things are still _other._ "

For a moment, Ron just blinked at him. Finally, he spoke. "I think we both need more sleep," he said. 

Harry nodded. He thought he was running on about three hours of interrupted sleep, himself. He followed Ron quietly up the spiraling stairs, but at the dormitory door, he caught Ron's sleeve. "About all that babble — one thing?"

"What?"

"That you betrayed me to Malfoy? It's — You're still my friend, even if I don't trust you, right now."

"I did not betray you to Malfoy!" Ron snapped. Even in the dim, bluish wandlight, Harry could see his face darkening, and knew it must be red. "I said I would, but I didn't. I went back on it, okay? I _do_ know how to do that, when I've promised something stupid. I hate it, but I did get that from years of Fred and George tricking me into things. It wasn't like I took a vow over it, or anything." His voice lowered. "Will you please shut up about it? I feel completely miserable, already."

"All right, then," Harry said, feeling rather a bully himself. "Let's just forget it ever happened."

"Thanks."

"No problem." Harry smiled to himself as he followed Ron into the darkness of their dormitory. "I've forgiven worse," he whispered, restraining a laugh. He stripped down to his shirt, and tumbled into bed. 

 

Harry was glad it was a Friday, and his first morning class was not with Ron and Hermione. Eventually, he would need to spend a Charms class looking dim, but the longer he could put that off, the better. He and Ron had dashed down to breakfast late. For the second day in a row, Harry wrapped sausages and toast in a napkin, so it wouldn't vanish with the plates at the end of the meal, and ate as he walked to class. The one advantage to this was that Hermione had no chance to speak to him, though she shot him a sharp look as he entered the Great Hall and she left it. 

 

Snape wasn't in the classroom when Harry arrived, but Draco looked with distaste at the scrap of toast that Harry put down to unpack his bag. With a flick of his wand and a murmured charm, he sent it to the rubbish. 

"That was my breakfast!" Harry complained. 

"If you want breakfast, Potter, get up in time to eat it at the table, like a civilized wizard."

"But you didn't have to throw it out!"

"Harry, think about what sits on these tables!" Draco snapped. "You cannot put food on them, then eat it." 

Harry went rather green at the thought of Wednesday's Potions components. "Point taken," he admitted, as he trued his scales. 

"How can you go out like that?" Draco chided. "Did you just roll out of bed?"

"Yes." 

Draco gagged, pointed his wand at Harry, and let off another spell before Harry could do more than turn. Justin and Parvati jumped up in alarm, then froze as Professor Snape entered.

"What is going on here?" he hissed. Harry saw now that Justin had his wand out. He realized his own hand was in his wand pocket and discreetly eased it out. Whatever Draco had done had no effects that he could detect. 

"Malfoy hexed Potter, sir!" Justin exclaimed. 

Snape's black eyes turned on Harry. He examined him with apparent scorn. "Potter looks no worse than usual to me, Mr. Finch-Fletchley," he sneered.

Draco hrumphed. "He walked in looking as if he had been pulled off the street by some charity. I was just arranging his hair, as he apparently can't be bothered. I suppose I should just have ordered him to move." 

Harry's face was burning. He looked down at the worktable. "Stop it," he muttered to Draco. "I promise I'll comb my hair —"

"Perhaps you could share your explanation, Mr. Potter?"

Harry looked up. "I promised him I would comb my hair in future," he said furiously. "Could we please get on with class?"

Snape looked amused, but the look turned grim as he stopped near them in the aisle and said bitingly:

"Prepare to spend far more time on your appearance, Potter, if you wish to associate with a Malfoy." 

The remark had the sound of a sly cut, but Harry knew it was a warning: _This is what Malfoys value, and a Malfoy will make you into whatever he wants._ Harry returned his attention to the tabletop. He refused to speak. After a moment, his father moved on. 

 

During class, Draco surreptitiously unwrinkled Harry's clothes and magically cleaned his few areas of exposed skin, which Harry found disturbingly intimate, though he could not decide why. Draco appeared more irritated than anything else, and Harry was mortified by the whole experience. When class was finally, dismissed, they turned to each other and launched immediately into complaints:

"If you ever sit near me again —"

 "I am not your doll —!"

"—looking like a vagabond--!"

"—and I did not give you permission —"

They stared at each other for a moment. "Wait your turn, Harry," Draco scolded.

"Who says you get to rant first?" Harry protested. 

"I do," said Draco coolly, "and we are in the dungeons, so I win. Now listen. If you want to come to class looking like a tinker, that's your affair, but you will not sit next to me unless you have, at minimum, used a freshening charm, dressed in clean clothes, and brushed your hair. Is that clear?"

"Quite," Harry said through gritted teeth. 

"Good. Your turn." 

"You will not cast spells on me without my permission. You didn't even tell me what you were doing! If I was more awake, I could have hexed you before I figured it out!"

Draco shrugged. "I'll take those odds. Shall we go, now?" He shouldered his bag and left the room. Harry felt a bit ridiculous following him, but thought hanging back waiting until Draco had got ahead of him would feel even more so.

"I don't know how you can bear to walk about like that," Draco remarked, as they reached the stairs. 

"I was up very late," Harry replied, "and I overslept. Incidentally, I don't know any 'freshening charms,' and I did not have time to shower."

"You don't know any freshening charms?" Draco repeated, aghast. 

"Draco, I was _raised by Muggles._ " 

"Oh." 

"And it's not like I'm really dirty, or anything. I showered yesterday, and I will after practice tonight."

"But your clothes were wrinkled, and your hair was worse than it used to be." 

"Still, you don't need to humiliate me like that."

"How do you think I feel, being seen with you?" Draco exclaimed indignantly.

Harry choked back a laugh. "All right, Draco. If I roll out of bed and run to class, I'll pretend we've never met, okay?"

"That will do," Draco replied arrogantly. "As long as you don't do it too often." 

They got to class a few minutes early, and were able to get seats near the back, for once. Ron and Hermione hadn't showed up yet, which suited Harry's purposes perfectly fine. He pulled the Verifier from his pocket and started to rummage through his bag with the Verifier still in his hand. 

"Ever hear from Ron?" he asked. 

"One owl," Draco said, carefully selecting some books from his own bag. Harry looked at the verifier. It was white. "He said he was going back on our arrangement. We'll see. Have you been out?"

To Harry's relief, the Verifier was still white. "Yes," he answered. 

Draco snorted. "Not going to tell me much, are you?"

"Believe me, I'm not telling them much, either," Harry answered. He set an ink jar on the desk with his left hand. "Did Ron say why?"

"He said he had decided it was too dangerous for you. I sent him a reply promising not to tell anybody while you were out, but I haven't heard back." 

"Would you tell?" Harry asked, following the ink with his book and notebook. 

"Probably not," Draco said airily.

Harry decided more rummaging would be suspicious. He dropped the still-white Verifier and took out his quill. 

"Have your supplies got a bit disorganized?" Draco asked pointedly.

"I was hoping I had another quill," Harry returned. "The point on this one is crunched." 

Draco took the quill and looked at the tip critically. "A bit," he agreed. A moment later, he had drawn a small knife from a low pocket or a boot sheath, and was using itto make a practiced, angled cut on the quill. From the ease with which he did this, the knife was quite sharp. "There you go," he said, pushing it back.

"Thanks!" said Harry in surprise. He filled the inkwell and tried the quill. It did, in fact, write more neatly. "I never knew you had practical skills," he commented, without thinking. 

Draco tensed. "Excuse me?" he asked, with brittle precision.

"I -- Oh, hell! I mean, you have servants and things...."

Draco looked disgusted. "And you expect me to wait for one every time I stab my quill into something?" He looked contemptuously at Harry. "I can also," he said pointedly, "brush my own hair." 

"Yes, mother," Harry growled, but he kept it to a whisper. Draco snickered, then nudged Harry.

"The Weasel's here."

"Stuff it, or I'll start calling you 'Ferret,'" Harry whispered back.

Draco rolled his eyes, but said nothing more. Harry smiled at Ron and Hermione, and motioned to the desks across the aisle from him, on the far side from Draco. "Sit?" he asked. 

"I don't like sitting at the back," Hermione complained, while taking the nearer seat. Draco gave a contemptuous snort that she and Harry ignored. Ron narrowed his eyes, and Harry shook his head at him. To his surprise, Ron looked down immediately, his face flushing. He sat beside Hermione, who whispered something to him. 

Throughout the lesson, Draco nudged Harry and whispered comments about the Foe-Glass Lupin was showing to the class. Harry could tell he did it to annoy Ron and Hermione, but he couldn't bring himself to mind. Often he whispered back. It kept his mind off memories of Barty Crouch, Jr., and the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament. 

 

After class, Harry leaned towards Ron and Hermione, who looked ready to bolt. "Wait for me?" he asked. They glanced at each other for a moment. 

"'Course," Ron said. 

Harry nodded to Draco. "See you on Monday."

"If not before," Draco returned, a bit testily. 

"Okay, then," Harry replied. 

Draco began to clear his desk. Harry went up to the front of the room and stood waiting for Professor Lupin to finish talking to Hannah Abbot. When she had left, he stepped forward. 

"Thank you for the loan, professor," he said quietly. He dug in his bag and pulled out the Verifier. He was careful to block Ron and Hermione's view of it with his body.

"You're welcome," Lupin said lightly. "Was it useful?"

Harry nodded. "He didn't lie to me. On the other hand, he didn't answer everything." 

"Be careful."

"I will. I promise." Harry shifted. "About Sunday...."

"Yes?" 

"That's okay, but it will need to be Saturday, instead, this week." 

Lupin hesitated. "I can't do four to six, this Saturday. Would after dinner work for you?"

Harry nodded. "That's fine." 

"Good, then. I'll see you tomorrow." 

 

**********

 

Hermione and Ron stood at the back of the room, waiting for Harry. Draco was collecting his things very slowly and arranging them neatly in his bag. Hermione wished he would hurry it up and leave. She wondered if he was lingering just to spy. When he finally sauntered out after Hannah Abbot, Ron leaned close. 

"I need to talk to you without Harry," he whispered. "Meet at Thalia's alcove straight after afternoon classes?"

"Right," she said. "When did he —" But Harry was turning. She smiled at him as he approached, and he grinned back at her, but sailed past before she had time to speak. In the hallway, he moved forward quickly to join the back of a crowd of third years. She and Ron had to hurry to catch up. Once he was with other people, Harry slowed down and walked companionably from there to lunch with her and Ron, but he stayed with the crowd, so they had no chance to question him. He sat with them at lunch, just like he used to do every day, but again, their conversation was restrained to public matters. For all that, he was cheerful and animated. Hermione didn't think she'd seen him so happy all term. 

When Hermione was ready to leave, she invited Harry along, but he smiled innocently, and said he needed to talk to Teresa about tonight's practice. Fifteen minutes later, she and Ron were waiting for him on the steps outside the Entrance Hall. 

"He has to come out soon," Ron said, looking nervously at the time. Most of their classmates from Care of Magical Creature had already passed them. "Unless he went down early to see his snake."

"Isn't it too cold, today?" Hermione asked.

Ron shrugged. "Beats me. All I know about snakes are how to tell the poisonous ones from the non-poisonous ones. And how to whack them with sticks." 

They stood a moment in silence.

"Could we talk here?" Hermione asked Ron.

Ron looked at the heavy door behind them as if it might suddenly disappear, then scuffed at the stone landing with the toe of one shoe. "I suppose," he said. 

"Do you know when he came in?" Hermione prompted. 

"Yeah," Ron answered. "Just a bit before six." 

"Oh. Did he say where he'd been?"

"Just that he'd fallen asleep." Ron twisted a section of his robe between his hands. "And he was smiling like an idiot the whole time."

"Oh," Hermione said again. _Drugs — not the bubble stuff, but whatever he was on that night at dinner._

"I think I know what's up with him," Ron stated. 

"Fairly obvious, really," Hermione said absently. _Let's see ... every three or four nights —_

"I think he's having it off with Malfoy." 

"WHAT?"

"Shhh!"

"You _can't_ be serious!" 

"Well, think!" Ron said earnestly. "Who else wouldn't he tell us about?"

"What makes you think he's off ... seeing someone?"

"Why else would he fall asleep?" Ron asked, a bit impatiently. "Besides, people only have that sort of smile when they're in love — or roundly shagged, at least, and —"

"What would you know about _that?_ "

"I have five older brothers! I'm not completely oblivious, you know!" Ron waved down her attempt at interrupting. "So I asked him who the girl was, and he said there wasn't any girl, and I told him he looked like he was in love, and he laughed and said there were all sorts of love, and this was nothing romantic. So I figure it's a boy, and they're just ... just _doing_ it, and clearly it's not a Gryffindor, right?" Ron paused for a moment, and Hermione interrupted. 

"Ron, I think you're entirely off on the wrong track, here. I don't think he's in love, or lust, or anything like that. I don't think there's another person involved at all." 

"People don't just wander off and fall asleep, Hermione. People fall asleep when they've got too cozy."

"I suspect this is more a matter of passing out — if any loss of consciousness is actually involved."

Ron looked puzzled. "You think he's dueling? Practicing?"

"I think he's drugged out of his mind!" Hermione snapped. "You remember last Saturday, when we'd talked to Malfoy, and Malfoy said he'd been with Snape?"

"Unfortunately," Ron said gloomily. 

"Well, do you remember how he was acting at dinner? Those weird smiles and strange responses?"

"You think he's seeing Snape?" Ron yelped. 

Hermione pulled her hair in frustration. "Ron, will you listen? No! I think he's getting some drug — potion — from Snape, and it knocks him out for a bit, then makes him stupid and happy for a bit longer." Ron stared at her for a minute, then the idea got through. She could _see_ him turning it around in his mind, linking it to various events, and making connections to behaviors. _Probably still adding two and two to make six and a half,_ she thought fondly. 

"Could be," he said slowly.

"He disappears every three or four days. And he's tetchy before, then friendly afterwards. He's avoiding being alone with us today, but I think that's just because he knows I'll want answers. He seems relaxed, today, don't you think?" 

Ron chewed at his lip as he nodded thoughtfully. 

"We know of three things he's been taking in the last month," Hermione elaborated, " — the cigarettes, the bubble stuff, and this 'counters a side effect of the wards failing' stuff that he told you he took every other day. And he sees Professor Snape a lot."

"But that last thing — he said I could talk to Dumbledore about that." 

"And I'm sure you can. It's legitimate, or he wouldn't say that." Hermione hesitated. "But Professor Snape may be giving him something else, or he may be stealing something else."

Ron's eyes widened. "That's got to be it! Not the stealing — Look! Snape has been giving him harmless potions so Harry will get him used to coming to him. The greasy git has probably been setting this up since Harry came here in August. I bet it's doing something horrible to him." He hesitated. "Bastard," he muttered.

"Ron!"

Ron glared at her. "Are you arguing? If he's hurting Harry?"

"But that's the part I don't understand," Hermione said. "Snape can't harm Harry. He's an Ord— part of the old crowd." 

"So was Pettigrew," Ron said grimly. 

"So what do we do?" Hermione sighed. "Talk to Dumbledore? I hate getting Harry into trouble."

"I think we should confront him," Ron said firmly. "Except, let's make sure this is right, first, okay? Not another 'Harry died in August and this is an impostor' mess. We need to go back to the map, but now that we know what we're looking for, we don't need to map the whole castle, just the dungeons and the Room of Requirement. If we explain why, I bet we can get Ginny to help. We could have it done by next Tuesday, I bet. He's disappeared every Tuesday, right?"

"Except this one." Hermione nodded, attempting to look brisk. She felt a little better, now that they had a plan. "So we watch and see if he goes to Snape...."

"Then when Snape leaves wherever they meet, we go loom over him," Ron confirmed. 

Hermione could imagine Harry on the couch in his indulgent Room of Requirement, smiling vaguely up at them and saying a dreamy hello. If they stayed, though, he wouldn't be able to say he didn't know what they were talking about, once he was over it. 

"Shall we start after dinner? I need to finish my Arithmancy work."

"I won't have much time after Quidditch practice. I'll talk to Ginny, though. If we get together for a bit after practice, perhaps we can start straight in tomorrow."

 


	48. Another Room

 

Harry showed up to Care of Magical Creatures a few minutes late.

"Yeh missed the start o' class, Harry," Hagrid warned. 

"Sorry," Harry said. "I lost track of time."

"I was jus' tellin' everybody that this is our last day wi' the Wyverns. They'll be headin' off to the Ural Dragon Preserve in the mornin'."

"Is that where they're from?" Ron asked. 

Hagrid's cheery face grew grim. "Nah. These three came from the Shetlands. Poachers killed the third female, and made off with what eggs they didn' trample in their rush." Hagrid was visibly distressed by this tragedy. "Some people think interestin' creatures are just fer their personal money-makin'. No consideration fer them at all." 

Nott snickered. Hermione glared at her. Before that could escalate, Harry interrupted. 

"If this is the last day, may I try talking to them, Hagrid? I can tell them what's going to happen." 

"Well...." Hagrid said uncertainly. He brightened. "Yeah, yeh do that, Harry. Still a bit hard ter manage, these ones are." 

Which, Harry thought, was an understatement. None of the students had been able to get in beak's reach of the aviary during their two weeks of study. On the other hand, if the Wyverns' previous experience with humans was an encounter with some poachers who killed their mate and young, that wasn't surprising. 

Cautiously, Harry approached the cage. 

" _Hello,_ " he hissed. Behind him, people flinched. Susan Bones let out a little yelp of fear. Harry looked back and saw Ron standing casually, a bored look on his face, as if Harry did this all the time and it was hardly worth noticing. Nott, on the other hand, had gone pale, while Zabini looked eager and intrigued. Parvati looked like Harry had just done something disgusting. 

The Wyverns responded to his greeting with defiant birdlike screeches. " _I can't understand you,_ " Harry said carefully. Parseltongue didn't seem to have the concept of "sorry." Harry thought this difficult, but a bit funny. 

The Wyverns grew agitated. The male reared up and flapped his wings like a crowing rooster while he screeched. 

" _I know what happened to you,_ " Harry hissed above the din. " _I am sad for your eggs._ " The Wyverns quieted at this. The male and the blue female hunched down and looked miserable. The other female stretched up and gave a single, sad screech. 

" _After next dawn, people will come to take you to a safe place, where egg-crushers are kept away._ " 

The male became very agitated and flew in circles at the edge of the cage. The green female slithered like a snake towards Harry, her upper body erect, so her wings did not catch on the ground, and her taloned feet held comically out to the side. Someone giggled nervously. 

" _It is not a cage, like this,"_ Harry told them. _"It is a part of the world, with big spaces of no people and many high crags._ "

The green Wyvern came all the way to the bars. She stood up like a bird, cocked her head to the side, and made a sad, inquiring noise. Harry thought it was a heartbreaking sound. He stepped towards her, and put his hands on one iron bar. " _I promise._ " 

"Harry!" Hagrid called warningly. 

Harry reached through the bars and scritched the side of the Wyvern's scaly face. " _It will be a good place,_ " he told her. " _I wish you many children, there._ " 

The Wyvern trilled.

 

Harry and Ron said goodbye to Hermione after class, and headed straight down to the pitch. It was a little while before the rest of the team was due to arrive, but not enough time to do more than walk to the tower and back. Harry sat in the stands, roughly where he had sat with Draco, and braced himself for the inevitable interrogation, but Ron didn't seem to know how to start it. After a few throat-clearings and strangled sounds, he finally said: 

"It's weird to sit this low. And to be here with the place empty."

Harry nodded. He would never have chosen these seats for a game; they were too far down. "I ate lunch with Draco here, once," he commented. "Actually, I'd been eating up there —" he pointed at the goal rings — "but Draco came, and we sat here to talk. He kept snitching pieces of my cake." Harry thought. "I guess that was just this Monday. We were talking about the Kerner Dark Detector. God, that seems like months ago!" 

Ron hunched up a bit. He looked miserable. 

"Would you rather I didn't talk about him?" Harry asked. "Look," he said, "considering last practice, I think it's important that you and I be on great terms — genuinely, if possible, but if not we should fake it — or we're going to tear the team apart."

Ron nodded. "Yeah. I was thinking the same thing." He took an audible breath. "Um... Harry, I have to ask you something." 

"Go ahead."

"Malfoy ... Is he, y'know ... your boyfriendorsomething?" 

"WHAT?" Harry yelped, his voice cracking at the end of it. He cleared his throat. "Ron!"

"Oh, good!" said Ron, with a sigh of relief. "Because I was going to have to tell you I could handle that, and I don't think I could have, really." 

Harry laughed. "Well, thank you for your unnecessary support, I suppose. Now you just need to handle him being my sort-of friend."

"In comparison, that doesn't seem so bad," Ron observed. He appeared to be too relieved to be embarrassed. "So, about these night wanderings —"

"I don't want to talk about it," Harry interrupted firmly. 

"Well, I wish you would. But talk or not, you can't keep doing this."

"It's none of your business, Ron."

"What?" Ron said indignantly. "Excuse me, Harry, but I happen to be a Gryffindor _prefect!_ If someone doesn't come back by ten, I'm supposed to report them directly to McGonagall. I can't keep ignoring this because it's you!"

"Oh." Harry considered that. It would be a problem for Ron and Hermione, he realized belatedly. "Sorry, then. I'll try to be more discreet." 

"I don't want you to be discreet, I want you to stop doing it!" Ron snapped. 

Harry bit back an angry yell. "I understand your position," he said coldly. "Now, I think we'd better discuss something less volatile, if we wish to be on amicable terms when the others arrive." He paused for a moment. "What on earth made you think I was involved with Malfoy?" he asked incredulously

"That — This morning, when I asked who you were with, and you started babbling about different sorts of love, and...."

Harry laughed. "We were both far too tired for a meaningful conversation," he noted. 

"Well, now that we're awake," Ron pressed, "What was it you were you trying to say?"

Harry tried to remember what he had said and why. In retrospect, it hadn't had much to do with what Ron had asked. 

"Mainly, that you're still important to me," he said carefully, "even if we have been treating each other like crap for most of the past two weeks. But I'd been walking back to Gryffindor thinking about family and friends and love and trust and emotional courage, and my mind was all still lost in that, so I'm not surprised if what I said didn't make sense." Harry grinned. "The word "love," for example, would never have come into it without that." 

"I'm sorry I haven't been a better friend, recently."

"Me too," Harry shrugged. "But I'm sort of stuck."

"Please tell me what's wrong?" Ron begged.

"Nothing's wrong."

"And I'm the Minister of Magic!"

Harry grinned. "Well, he's frequently wrong, but that's beside the point." 

"Harry!"

"Look, there's nothing wrong that you could possibly help me with, okay? Come on, now, people are arriving -- I can hear Jack's laugh. We're best friends, right?"

"Right," Ron said dully. 

"And _nothing_ is wrong. Remember that." 

 

**********

 

Ron came back from Quidditch practice flushed and smiling, though Ginny, at his side, looked less happy. Hermione, waiting at the bust of Thalia the Capricious, was pleased to note that the corridor was long enough that she could see their approach before she could hear their voices. Ron had chosen the place well. 

Ginny stopped in front of Hermione and crossed her arms over her chest. "Why," she demanded, "are you going back to this surveillance scheme?"

"Harry was out until just before dawn, this morning. He's coming back ... well, under the influence of something. Malfoy saw him with Snape, so I think it's a potion, not a Muggle drug."

"We want to catch him at it, so we can sit on him and make him talk to us," Ron interrupted. 

Ginny gave an exasperated sigh. "So you want to map the _dungeons?_ "

"So we can see when he meets Snape and where he goes."

"We should map the Room of Requirement, too," Hermione added.

"I'm not even sure that will work," Ginny said. "I mean, if you map the D.A. meeting place, will Harry show if he's in his little lounge?"

"A ten minute experiment will determine that," Hermione said primly. 

"Well, let's do that now," Ron suggested. "That way, Ginny can see how it works, and we can figure out how this job divides with three." He moaned. "I still don't know what I'll say if Harry catches us!"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "You tell him it was going to be his Christmas present, of course. Honestly!" 

 

They had a bit of trouble with the experiment. Hermione had said they should map the smaller space, then see what happened in the big one. She tried to get it first, walking up and down and thinking intently that she needed _Harry's private room._ To her surprise, she had opened the door on a spacious and welcoming bedroom, decorated mostly in green and blue, with golden woods and gilt flourishes. It had a single window, hung with a cerulean drape.

"What _is_ this?" Ron asked, entering behind her.

"I don't know. I asked it for Harry's private room." 

Ginny looked around in wonder. "This isn't like his bedroom at the Dursleys' is it?" she asked. 

Ron snorted. "Not even close." 

Hermione closed the door and crossed to the window, then put her face to the glass and her hands up to block the light from eyes. "It's in the castle, somewhere. I can see Hagrid's." 

"Wait!" Ron exclaimed. "Did you ask in _words_?"

"Of course." 

"I've never tried that. What did you say?"

"I _thought,_ " Hermione corrected, "'Harry's private room.'"

"So, do you think Harry _does_ have a secret private room?" Ron asked. "I mean, I could fall asleep here." He vaulted on to the high, canopied bed and flopped down on it, then settled his hands behind his head. He stared up at the blue canopy. "Except I might have nightmares I'd been sorted into Ravenclaw."

"Would that be horrible?" Hermione asked scathingly.

"Yes! In Ravenclaw, I'd be like Neville." 

"Perhaps Harry is going to stay and be a teacher," Ginny suggested. "Perhaps this _will be_ his room."

"Why would Harry be a teacher?" Ron asked, mystified.

Ginny shrugged. "He's good at it. Zoë says he talks about it."

Hermione felt an unjustifiable flash of jealousy. Harry had never talked about that with her. She looked out the window while she examined the feeling. _Harry and I don't talk any more, do we? I ask him where he's been and he refuses to answer me. I have no idea what's going on in the parts of his life he might be willing to share._ The jealousy was replaced by a pang of guilt, and longing. _I could be with him, now, instead of plotting how to track him down next week. I wonder if he's studying with Zoë?_

"This is so weird," Ron commented, getting out of the bed and starting to prowl around. He opened the wardrobe. "Look! It's got his dress robes!" He ran a hand down the spectacular red one. "I caught a glimpse of this our first night back. I wonder what would happen if I tried to take it out of here?"

"It vanishes as soon as you leave," Hermione commented absently. "I tried that with some of the books, last year." 

"Well, if it's his room, now," Ron said, "we should search the towers to find it. We have the window view to help." 

"Perhaps it was his room over the summer!" Hermione exclaimed. 

"That's an idea," Ron said approvingly. 

"We're getting distracted," Ginny said sharply.

"I suppose," Hermione agreed reluctantly.

"Uh, Hermione?" Ron asked. She looked over. He was standing by the bedside table, and looking down into the open drawer. 

"Yes?"

"Look at this." 

Hermione came up and looked in the drawer. It contained Harry's Sneakascope, Omnioculars, and lock-pick set, and ten potion vials, six dark, and four light. Ron picked up one of the light ones. Held up, it was clearly pink. He tipped it slowly back and forth. "Bubble stuff," he decided. He put that back and picked up a dark one. This was a green potion. Tipped, it did not look at all viscous. Ron shook it, and it fizzed. Quickly, he popped the top off and downed it. 

"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed in alarm.

"I'm pretty certain this is the muscle relaxant," Ron answered, coughing slightly on the froth. "That's how he took it."

"You don't need a muscle relaxant!"

"No, I don't. I want to know what this feels like, though." He looked questioningly at Hermione. "If I leave the room, does this all vanish from my body?"

"I don't know. Probably."

"Let's hang out here a bit, then." 

Ginny sat in the window seat. "We'll miss dinner," she complained. 

"A true Weasley," Ron said, with mocking pride. 

"Well, we will! This was supposed to be quick, remember? And I've been flying for two hours. I'm starving!"

"She's got a point, Ron," Hermione said, noting Ginny's edgy tone and judging the younger girl genuinely needed food. "Let's wait ten minutes more to see what you feel, then go get dinner, then come back and do the mapping test. Is that all right, Ginny?"

"I suppose," Ginny said moodily. "Hand me my bag — I'll sketch the view while we're waiting. That will at least be useful." 

 

**********

 

After dinner, Ron and Hermione disappeared off somewhere. Harry, who was expecting to be questioned more, felt unexpectedly put out at the reprieve. After noting that Seamus, Dean, and Neville were all in the Common room, he went up to their dormitory to work on his independent study and appreciate having the room to himself. The afternoon mist had settled in to a steady rain, and the soft patter of raindrops against the windows sounded pleasant from the cozy, warm room. He had finished his factual part of the paper on the Dark Arts Components Act of 1981, and had reached the point at which he should discuss the messy ethical considerations. He really felt he'd had enough of messy ethical considerations for a while. His other independent study paper was one on changes in Wizarding law in Britain during Voldemort's first rise to power. Many of the names were disturbingly familiar, but the history was mostly new to him. He hadn't realized how mainstream support for Voldemort had been. That was no less disturbing than reading about the Longbottoms, the Figgs, and the Potters, or the Malfoys, the Blacks, and the Notts. Frowning, Harry pushed his books aside, and picked up a fresh piece of parchment. He began to write. 

 

> Dear Fred and George,
> 
> How the shop? School is okay, but I have been fighting with Ron and Hermione. They seem to think it their business where I go without them. Ron waited up for me, last night, or tried to, and ended up falling asleep in the common room. How do you stop him from scolding? He's acting like Percy did, at his age. 
> 
> We had wonderful fun with my birthday present. The Mood Wings were a big hit — Hermione even tried them! Certain people (okay, he's not quite like Percy was) made good use of the ventriloquism drops, as well. 
> 
> The Quidditch schedule came out this week, and our first game (and only Autumn game) is on Saturday, the fifth of October, against Ravenclaw. I'd be happy to have you visit. (It makes me look so well-behaved!) Our new team members are young, but working out well. How did you manage with me as a first year? That seems so young, now. We have Teresa, a second-year, and Iggy, a third-year, both as Chasers. I think staggering the team ages will be beneficial in the long run, but we're having a bit of trouble melding, which is not made better by my fights with Ron. 
> 
> Also, could I send you on a trip to Muggle London? I know there will be a Halloween ball, this year, though it hasn't been announced yet. (I was at dinner when the professors agreed on it, during the summer.) I bought some sexy Muggle trousers, but neglected to get an appropriate shirt. Perhaps we could consult on it while you're here, and you could send me something by owl post, later? 

Harry added a request for Muggle cigarettes, erased it, added it again, and erased it again. He eventually sighed and signed off on the letter, and sealed it to take up to the Owlery. Now, he decided, was as good a time as any. Perhaps the walk would clear his head for writing. He headed out. 

 


	49. Mapping Enemy Territory

 

Saturday morning, Harry walked down to breakfast with Ron and Hermione. Hermione sat in the middle, so Ron could talk to Andrew. 

"So," she said awkwardly, "how have you been?"

"Fine," Harry answered, reaching for the toast. 

"I realized we don't talk much, anymore." 

Harry rolled his eyes. "And why ever would that be?" he asked sarcastically.

"I ... I miss being friends," Hermione said.

Harry looked at her. "I've tried," he said seriously. "I really have. You mean a lot to me. But when I talk to you, all you do is interrogate me and scold." He hesitated. "I think perhaps we should pick it up later, when my life is ... more.... When I can...."

"May I sit here?" asked a small, high voice. Harry turned, smiling, to see Teresa. 

"Go right ahead," he said. Teresa smiled broadly and settled next to him. 

"Practice was great fun, yesterday," she said brightly. "I think I'm becoming a better Chaser."

"It's always good to work with new players," Harry agreed amiably. "Especially ones with a different experience level, whether they have more experience or less. You learn things, that way." He grinned. "I think you're really coming along. Iggy, too." 

Teresa beamed. She babbled happily at him throughout the meal. Harry didn't mind. He remembered how much fun it was to have older friends — and it kept him from the awkward conversation with Hermione. Teresa was very admiring, but at least it was over something he did — Quidditch — rather than who he was.

"And that maneuver you suggested was perfect!" Teresa said, almost bouncing with enthusiasm. 

Harry glanced past her and found himself looking at Colin Creevey. Colin gave him an embarrassed grin and made a show of hiding his face. Harry choked trying not to laugh. 

"Are you okay?" Teresa asked.

"Um, yeah. Just coughed when I should have been swallowing. What about that drill with Ginny? Was that helpful?"

Hermione, he noticed, had left. 

 

Harry went down to see the Wyverns off. It was a very warm day, for late September, and he opened his robes, in front. 

To Harry's surprise, the first thing he saw when he rounded Hagrid's hut was Charlie Weasley. Before Harry could call over a greeting, a large, burly man further around the cage caught sight of him. "Hey!" he called. "Sorry, lad — no student audience."

Charlie looked up. "That's Harry," he shouted back. "He can be here. Come here, Harry. Hagrid says you can talk to these beasties." 

"Sort of. They seem to understand Parseltongue, but I can't understand them, at all." Harry walked up to Charlie. The Wyverns were in a state, flapping and screeching. Occasionally one would fly up to the top of the aviary to dive down at the door, talons outstretched. "What are you doing here, anyway? Don't you work in Romania? I thought they were going to Russia."

"Yeah, but Harry, dragon people all know each other. And everyone knows my family knows Albus Dumbledore, so I was asked to come along. Professional courtesy." He frowned at the angry Wyverns. "Reckon you can calm them down?"

"Tell me where you're taking them, and I'll try to describe it."

"Well, ultimately, they're going to the Ural Dragon Preserve. There are a few single females, there, and we're hoping they pick up one as their fourth — you know Wyverns always nest in groups of four, right? 

Harry nodded. "One male, three females, each with particular child-rearing roles — Hagrid _has_ been teaching us, not just admiring them." 

"Okay. Russia though, has quarantine, so before that, they'll be in an enclosure — a lot larger and more natural than this, but still enclosed — so they can observe them for three weeks. They'll be looking for scale rot, and such things, but also to be sure they're not too domesticated, and can hunt their own food, and such. When that's over, they'll be released through the roof, and herded by Hippogriff to the area the Wyvern experts think they'll like best."

"Okay," Harry said. He turned to the cage and concentrated on seeing the Wyverns as winged snakes. " _This man has come to move you to your new home,_ " he began. 

Harry explained the procedure to the Wyverns, and told them Charlie was a friend (at least, he tried to say "friend" — he thought the word may actually have meant something more intimately familial) and could be trusted. The burly man stared with frozen terror as he listened to the sounds coming out of Harry's mouth. Eventually, the green female came over to have her face scratched again. At Charlie's request, Harry relayed that Charlie needed to cast a Sleep Charm on each of them for transport. After confirming with Charlie, Harry assured them they would be together in quarantine. ("'Course they will!" Charlie had answered. "They need to see how they work as a family.") Harry added that they weren't getting out of this cage any other way, and the Wyverns finally decided to risk it. They came down, but flapped back up when Charlie pulled out his wand. 

"Show them on me," Harry offered. 

"What?"

"I'll tell them what you're doing, then you cast a Sleep Charm on me, then wake me up."

Charlie, after thinking the plan over, agreed. After seeing Harry fall, then wake unharmed, the Wyverns cooperated. Charlie put them all under, then he and his companion went into the aviary. 

"We'll be portkeying right out, now," Charlie said. "Tell Ron I said hello!" 

A moment later, Harry was alone. 

_Or not,_ he thought, as a voice as his feet asked:

" _Will the flying snakes return?_ " 

Harry looked down. " _No,_ " he said. " _Something else will come."_ He squatted to get closer to the adder. _"Could I show you to a friend of mine?_ "

" _Like before?_ "

" _Yes._ "

" _Is the one warm?_ "

" _I don't know,_ " Harry answered. 

" _If the one is not warm, I will sleep on you._ " 

" _Good. I'd like that._ "

 

**********

 

After some experimentation, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny discovered that mapping the Room of Requirement was a bit chancy. Ron, who asked in images, rather than words, managed to get something that looked like the room Harry had taken them to a few days earlier, but they were not sure it was really the same. They mapped that, then Hermione called up the room used by Dumbledore's Army. Ron and Ginny watch her go into the mapped room, but once she was inside it, she was visible in some places, but not others. The mapped area was not all in one patch. Next, they tried mapping the room used by Dumbledore's Army. When Hermione left it, then called it up again, she was visible in the room. However, when Ron called up what he considered to be the same room, Hermione was, again, only visible in some places, although more of them. Next, Ginny tried to call up the room, but could not. 

"Why won't the door appear?" Hermione asked. "Ginny, get the D.A.room!"

Ginny shrugged. "I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I guess I don't believe I need it." Ginny pushed her hair back and smiled. "This is the Room of Requirement, you know, not the Room of Vague Interest."

"But we need another data point —"

"No. You need another data point. Personally, I think Harry will be fine if you just leave him alone."

"Then why are you helping?" Ron asked pointedly.

"Because I think you and Hermione need to be doing something, and maybe you'll harass him less if you feel you're taking some action."

Hermione couldn't decide whether this was offensive or sweet. While she was mulling it over, Ron sighed. "Let's try a smaller room." 

Hermione called up "Harry's Private Room" again, and she was visible in more than half of it from the mapped Dumbledore's Army training room. 

"Let me do another quick sketch," Ginny said, joining her in Harry's room, "now that it's light outside." 

Ron and Hermione agreed. Out of curiosity, Ron looked at the store of potions and found it again contained six green ones. 

"You know, I'm less sure about this drug theory, after last night," Ron commented. 

"Why?"

"Well, the fizzy potion wasn't anything special. I mean I didn't feel anything. I have no interest in taking it again."

"But that's the legitimate one, remember?"

"I guess."

Ron picked up one of the pink vials. "This stuff, on the other hand, was fun, but it seemed harmless." He frowned. "I suppose I should try this, too, to make certain the ones here are the same."

"Ron!" Hermione protested, but Ron already had one of the vials open. He couldn't find anything to blow bubbles with, so he held his thumb and first finger together and spilled a bit on the crack between them. A flush of quiet pleasure overtook him before he could try to blow a bubble, and that shifted to amused delight when he managed to blow one and pop it. 

"Oooo," he said happily. "Same thing. It works on skin, but better in bubbles." He reached over to rub his fingers clean on Hermione, then thought better of it, and did it on his sister, instead. She giggled and swatted at him. 

"Stop that!" Hermione snapped. She bit her lip. "Please?" 

Ron laughed. "Wait a few minutes," he advised, but didn't manage to sound serious. He recapped the vial and put it back. 

 

Fifteen minutes later, they left the mysterious room, and began to walk downstairs. They mapped the stairs leading from the Entrance Hall to the dungeons, then started mapping the dungeon corridors. At the first door, they stopped. Ron opened the door. An empty, square, room confronted them. 

"Let's just mark it on the map," Hermione said, "and come back and do it later." 

They followed that plan for the next six rooms that they encountered. Some were empty and others storerooms, but none had comfortable places to sit or lie down. The seventh door was locked. 

"Should we do this one now?" Ron asked.

"What if there's someone inside it?" Hermione worried. She barely managed to stop Ginny from knocking.

"Maybe we should mark this one, as well, and come back during classes, when we know Snape is teaching, and most of the Slytherins are upstairs," Ron suggested, at a whisper. 

Ginny got down on the floor, to see if she could see anything under the door. She reported that the room was dark, then tried poking her wand in. Wand light did not help, other than showing her that the first foot of floor was stone, like the hallway. 

"It's a frequently used room, though," Hermione noted, as Ginny got to her feet. "You can see how the stone is worn in front of this door."

"Oy!" called a young, but confident, voice from down the hall. A short Slytherin, possibly a third-year, came trotting towards them. He stopped several paces away. "What are you lot doing down here? Get away from Professor Snape's lab before I scream for my mates, and we turn you into Gryffindor paste." 

Ron stepped forward angrily, but Hermione pulled him back. 

"We're lost," Ginny said, gesturing at the map. "Which way to the stairs back to the Entrance Hall?"

The kid pointed. "That way, turn right, then go till you see them. Now go!"

They went. 

 

**********

 

Harry glanced up to the staff table, during lunch, and was surprised to see his father silently studying Remus. Remus did not appear to have noticed. He was eating moodily, with much poking of his food, and seemed to have edged his chair closer to Professor Dumbledore's. Harry wondered if he was having problems with parents. 

Severus slipped out of lunch early, and Harry followed a few minutes later.

"Hello," Severus said, when Harry entered his lab. "Are you ready to do some actual work?"

"Before that?" Harry began. He waited for the lift of eyebrows that indicated some curiosity before continuing. "We won't have many more warm days, like this. Would you like to meet the adder, before she starts sleeping?"

"You think I can walk with you in the gardens?"

Harry nodded. "If you wear my cloak. Then I'm just taking a stroll by myself. And when we're there, there are bushes between the good sitting places and the school. If we're careful about choosing a spot, you could take the hood down." 

 

The adder was near where Harry had left her, sunning herself on a rock. Harry went a little past her, into a horseshoe of bushes open on the side of the Forbidden Forest, then called her over. The snake zipped through the thin, shaded grass, then reared up to flick her tongue rapidly through the air. She looked dangerously beautiful, with her soft brown back marked with dark zigzag warning, each point tipped in black. 

" _I can smell your nestmate, but I cannot see him. Can you see him?_ " the adder asked anxiously. " _He is on that rock, or behind it._ "

" _I can't see him at the moment,_ " Harry assured her. " _He is wearing something that keeps him from being seen._ " _...but will apparently not,_ he added to himself, _hide me from Nagini._

A brief flicker of blue wandlight betrayed the casting of a spell towards the distant trees, then Snape's head appeared. Harry looked anew at the greasy lanks of hair, and wondered if Lucius had tsked and spelled it clean — and perhaps scented, while he was at it. 

The adder reared back at the sudden apparition, then settled lower again. " _He has a body, but it cannot be seen?_ " she asked curiously.

" _Right._ "

"Are you introducing me?" Severus asked, a bit testily.

"No — she was wondering about not being able to see you," Harry said. "I don't think names translate, anyway." He gestured at the adder. "Father, here is the-snake-who-lives-near-where-the-Wyverns-used-to-be." He sat down on a low rock and looked at the snake. " _This man is very important to me._ " 

" _He cannot speak?_ "

" _No, that's very rare._ " Harry had a sudden frightened thought. What if Voldemort spoke to all the local snakes? He could not see Voldemort, though, or even Nagini, getting this far onto Hogwarts grounds. " _If you meet another human that does, or a snake bigger than the flying ones, do not mention me to them. The man is my enemy._ " 

" _I will not speak of you,_ " the snake assured him. " _I sleep soon, anyway,_ " she added, as an afterthought.

She and Harry chatted for a few minutes. Harry translated some of it, including some amusing comments about the Wyverns. After this, she smelled Snape a final time. " _He smells a bit like you,_ " she observed, " _but more fragrant._ " Harry laughed so hard that he was obliged to translate, much to his embarrassment. The snake, when Harry had stopped moving, slid up the sleeve of his robe and settled contentedly in the warm darkness. 

"Does that tickle?" Severus asked. 

"Not really." Harry thought. "I can feel her contentment. It's pleasant." 

"Ah." 

For a few minutes, they were both silent. It felt like having summer back, Harry thought happily. _Like the end of August, when things were safer — why didn't we come outside, more?_

"About the other night...." Severus said awkwardly. He managed a quick look at Harry, then focused on the distant forest, again. Absently, he sent another spell at it. "Thank you," he said.

Harry flushed with embarrassment and joy. "I didn't do anything," he said lightly. 

Severus turned to him at that, scowling. "You know what you did," he said fiercely. He hesitated. "Dumbledore used to ramble on in meetings — old crowd — about what a 'loving child' you were. It always sounded so vapid. I never realized what balls that took." 

Harry managed a timid nod of acceptance. It was his turn to look away, now. He watched thin clouds creeping in over the treetops and tried to breathe normally. 

"Who would you love, if you dared?" he asked. 

"Besides you?" Severus asked. 

Harry kept watching the clouds. "Do you love me?"

In the silence that followed, he watched one thin line of a herringbone cloud cross into the clear sky in front of the trees, and another move to take its place. 

"Yes," Severus said flatly.

Harry's eyes closed involuntarily. He forced them open. "Good," he said. "And you can be brave too. Who else?"

There was another, even longer silence. 

"I don't think anyone else — no one still alive, anyway." 

Harry managed to look at him, then. "Everyone should love more than one person," he said seriously, "and in more than one way."

"It is probably correct that one _should_ ," Severus allowed, "but I do not. Nor is it advisable, in my position." He paused. "Whom do you love, then?"

Harry bit his lip, thinking. "You," he said, "Ron and Hermione. Mrs. Weasley. Dumbledore in a sort of resentful way, and Remus, I think, in a tentative one. I'm not sure exactly who he is, sometimes, but that's the nature of the moon, isn't it? He was more contained, when I was younger. Now he shows me enough of himself to confuse me."

He dared a glance at Severus, to see if the mention of Remus had made him angry, but the floating head was staring at the forest, again, watching something very far away. 

"Yes," he said absently. "There is more to Remus than he allows most people to see." The lines around his eyes hardened. "Docility is crucial to his survival." 

"Do you still love him?" Harry asked frankly.

"I do not love animals," Severus answered harshly. 

Harry flinched. He wondered if Severus understood how deep that cut went, and for how many people. He found himself trembling with anger and hurt, and his words came out fast with the effort of speaking evenly:

"Remus is no more an animal than my mother was, and you know it." 

The snake woke from her doze and stirred sluggishly, making his sleeve wobble and distort. She poked her head out and hissed threateningly at the air in front of her, then, after a quick scan of the area, at Severus, who had turned angrily to answer, but now froze. 

" _I am safe,_ " Harry assured her, stroking a finger down the flat top of her head and the pliant body behind it. " _It is — a fighting that happens without damage._ "

 _Such a lie,_ he thought. _There is only no blood._

"Are you making her do that?" Severus asked, staring at the adder.

"No — she just acts like that when I'm upset. I don't know how to prevent it. I told her I'm safe, though." Harry smiled. "You should have heard her when Hermione and Ron found me with Draco, and Draco called Hermione--" He reddened. 

"I see," Severus said dryly. "Occlumency would do it, I suspect."

"In the middle of a conversation?"

"That is how I use it." 

"Oh." 

"Now, we will try this again," Severus said precisely. "You work on control, and I will tell you --" a familiar malice grew in his voice and face — "that Remus is no more than an animal, and I am _ashamed_ that I ever —" His voice weakened and stopped. Harry watched his eyes close and his jaw clench. 

The snake started to stir, and Harry hurriedly pushed all thoughts away. There was only warmth, air....

"I think we should go in, now," Severus said flatly. "Make the experiment when next you have a natural occurrence. I can't do this." 

The floating head moved up several feet, then vanished. 

" _I need to leave,_ " Harry told the snake. " _If I do not see you again this year, will you remember me in spring?_ "

" _When you wake in the morning, do you remember the sunset?_ " the snake asked, amused, as she slithered from his sleeve to the rock. 

" _That is what it is like?_ "

" _Almost._ "

" _Good. I will see you later._ " 

 

**********

 

Ron glanced around the common room around one more time, to make certain no one had come close to them. _He needs to stop doing that,_ Hermione thought. _It looks suspicious._

They were seated in a dark section of the room that was not near either the fire, or any windows. The closest other people were two fourth years who were playing chess out of casual listening distance. 

"We need to map the lab," Hermione said. "We know he's been in there."

"No," Ron protested. "We know Malfoy _said_ that he's been in there." 

"True, but it's the only lead we've got." Hermione frowned. "Now, the problem with mapping Snape's lab is that the lab may contain Professor Snape." 

"Who would dock Gryffindor hundreds of points and string us up by our thumbs."

"Figuratively speaking, yes." 

"I don't trust it to stay figurative," Ron grumbled.

"So we need to map the lab when we know Professor Snape is busy," Hermione continued, with a warning glare.

"During classes?" Ron suggested. 

"During dinner," Hermione concluded. 

"Hermione!"

"Come on, Ron! You know where the kitchens are." 

"Are you two _certain_ you don't want to go out?" Ginny asked.

"Ginny! It was a disaster," Ron objected. 

"Of course," Ginny said, rolling her eyes.

"No, really, Ginny, it was," Hermione agreed.

"So what do we do?" Ron asked in resignation. "Watch to make sure Snape goes to a meal, then leave and map his lab?

"Yes," Hermione agreed. She looked down at the map, searching for the "SSL" notation she had made at Snape's lab. "We'll start with blowing the smoke under the door. After that, I've been thinking that we —" she stopped suddenly. "Snape--!" Hermione squeaked, then clapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh my god!" she whispered.

"What?"

Hermione pointed to the map. Moving down the stairs to the dungeons were two dots: one labeled "Severus Snape" and one labeled "Harry Potter."

"Can we catch them?" Ginny asked. 

"When Snape's with him?" Ron asked. "Do you know how many points Gryffindor would lose?" 

"We're allowed in the dungeons," Hermione observed huffily. 

"Like that makes any difference to that greasy git!" 

"Let's watch where he goes," Ginny suggested. "Then we'll know where you need to extend the map."

Harry and Professor Snape turned left off the first corridor and walked off the map. Hermione marked the spot where they had disappeared. 

"Should we risk going down, again?" Ginny asked. 

Hermione considered it. "I think so," she said. "As long as we don't meet the same Slytherin boy, we should be okay." She frowned at the map. "Let's watch for a bit, first, and see if they come back, or if Harry comes back by himself." 

 

**********

 

Severus did not speak as they walked inside. Harry wondered what had made him stop in the middle of his nasty little speech about Remus. Embarrassment? Regret? Perhaps just weariness? _I suppose it's exhausting to hate someone so much,_ Harry mused. He caught the thought, with its self-righteous detachment, and corrected himself. _No. I don't suppose. I know very well it is._

Severus was no more talkative when they reached his rooms. He made tea, prepared a cup for himself, added milk, stared at it for a while, then pushed it aside and prepared some of the saffron milk drink. It wasn't until he was pushing a mug of the frothy stuff at Harry that he actually looked at him. 

"I forgot to ask if you wanted any."

"Yes, please," Harry answered politely, restraining an amused smile. "I liked it the other time you made it."

"Good. I would not enjoy a second serving of something so sweet." 

The drink seemed to calm Harry's father. He held it as if his hands were cold, though it had been warm, outside. Harry tasted his, then put it down. 

"I was thinking about the problem with the Dark Mark," he advanced. 

Severus frowned. "You will not go out on an assassination mission."

"For argument's sake, let's say I accept that. You still need to do something."

"Perhaps not. I am speculating. The situation may not be as bad as I fear. He may lose interest in torturing me, particularly if he is busy with other efforts. I plan to wait as long as possible before acting." 

"Okay," Harry allowed, picking up the drink again, "but if not, I wonder if a Muggle prosthesis would be any good?" He took a sip. "I can see the spell not being able to get a hold on that."

"Prosthesis?" 

"Artificial arm."

"Are the Muggle ones usable? As I understand it, Muggle medicine is quite primitive." 

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I could find out, though. Or, well, Hermione could find out."

"And why will you tell Hermione you are asking?" Severus said sharply. He sat back. "I was wondering, myself, if I could take off the skin, curse it to not grow back, and bond in a permanent bandage of erumpet hide, in such a way that the arm might still be useful. The Mark would probably get into it eventually, but its maintenance should not be frequent."

Harry shuddered. _Maintenance_ was such a mild word for removing the skin from a dangerous amount of one's body. "That sounds very painful."

"Yes. I expect it would be. But it should be a constant, bearable, pain." 

Severus swirled the liquid in his cup to pick up the stray froth at the edges. "Likewise, I have been considering the prophecy and your request for training." 

"And?" Harry asked sharply.

"If you are the one who can destroy Voldemort, there must be something that makes you so. Have you ever attempted Farseeing or any other divination of the present, rather than the future?

"I thought Divination was all about the future." 

"It is often taught that way. However, there is also divination to see things that are far away, or hidden. Ability in that is just as rare, perhaps rarer, then foreseeing. That is one thing that might help us defeat Voldemort."

"Well ... I'm pants at Divination."

"Your marks were not bad."

"Yeah, but Ron and I made everything up. Trelawny just wants you to predict something horrible and then she thinks it's brilliant." 

"I see." Severus sneered at him. "Well, that would certainly be easier than studying."

"Easy? You try thinking up half a dozen new ways to die every week or so! Besides, if I actually _had_ seen anything, and it _wasn't_ horrible, she would have marked me down for it." 

Severus snorted. "Trelawny is an old fraud," he agreed. "She has no more ability to recognize talent than she has to call forth her own. Dumbledore should learn to select teachers for ability rather than personal loyalty."

"Then where would you be?" Harry asked flippantly.

Severus frowned. "I am widely considered to be one of the three best masters of my subject in Britain."

"I expect that's true, but you can't _teach,_ " Harry shot back. He was surprised by his own vehemence. "Not kids, anyway," he amended after noticing the defensive tension gathering in Severus's face. "You said so, yourself, when you were talking about your value to different parties. There is no way you ought to be instructing eleven-year-old children!"

"Am I too frightening?" Severus asked mockingly. 

"No, you are too capricious and sadistic, and you don't review, you don't cover basics, and you don't have any interest in what your students know, or how they learn best."

"Nonetheless, my students score higher than average on O.W.L.s," Severus said harshly, "so they must be learning somehow."

"I'll give you instilling motivation," Harry allowed. "It's not a pleasant motivation, but it worked for most of us."

Severus shrugged. "As long as you learn, it's effective."

"But I could have learned so much more!" Harry protested. He looked down at his near empty cup, and drained it. "Speaking of which, weren't we going to work in the lab, this afternoon?"

"Do you want to?"

Harry grinned. "I was hoping you'd let me play." 

Severus looked amused. "Have anything in mind?"

"Could I try some variations on Hunter's Stealth? The adder could tell me where you were sitting by scent, and I'd like to test some on her." 

"Are you planning to fool Mrs. Norris, or Nagini?"

"In time, I'm sure I'll have cause to do both." 

Severus fixed him with a harsh, evaluating stare. "Promise me you will not attempt to kill Voldemort."

Harry hesitated a moment. "I promise I will not go looking for Voldemort to try to kill him, this term." 

"That adds several qualifications."

"Because I will not promise what I will not do," Harry answered seriously. "If I encounter Voldemort, by chance or his design, I will do whatever seems best." 

"Accepted," Severus said shortly. "You may 'play,' as you put it. Oh, and Harry?"

"Hm?"

"This time, take notes."

 

**********

 

Hermione, Ron, and Ginny, with more caution than they had used that morning, returned to the dungeons. They found Harry's point of departure from the map was a corridor which turned a corner, passed two doors, and joined up with the next corridor just past Snape's private potions lab. Hermione noticed that there was now light showing under the lab door. They went back to the L-shaped corridor and mapped it quickly. When Professor Snape did not materialize at the smell, they cautiously tried both doors. One was locked. The other opened onto a plain room full of old Potions equipment. They mapped that one, and moved on to continue with the other corridor past the Potions lab. 

 

**********

 

Harry remembered the time and effort involved in replicating his bubble stuff, and started a parchment for each of his two cauldrons. On each, he wrote the steps he planned to take, with space to note how each step progressed. Then he moved to preparing components. 

"So," he asked, after checking to see that Severus was also at an easy stage of his work, "what did you want me to divine?" 

"I was hoping that you, with your connection to the Dark Lord, could divine a weakness in his protections against death."

Harry was, for a moment, speechless. He finally looked down at his hands, resumed mincing leaves of Diana's Treasure, and said: 

"I thought I was supposed to repress the link to the Dark Lord."

"The mind link, yes. You are vulnerable to him. But you are still connected to him — by the prophecy, by your blood, by your scar. I hoped — hope — that within the protection of divinatory tools, you might be able to discover things about him that have eluded me as a spy."

"What do you know about his protections?"

"Not much. I found, from Lucius, that he is guarded against the Killing Curse, and lack of breath. It is apparent that many actions which should be fatal revert him to a more basic body. I would guess that he cannot be destroyed by killing the body he is in." Severus looked embarrassed. "None of us know much about this."

"Who knows some?"

"Lucius did. I suspect Rabastan does, as well. Wormtail probably knows more than the rest of us put together.

"Wormtail? And you can't get it out of him?"

"Even if he had the intelligence to understand what he has seen and heard, it would not help. He is too terrified of his master to ever betray him." 

Harry straightened up. "Pettigrew follows the lead of the most powerful present, right? You and James both said that."

"True, within reason. But he does understand retribution. Getting him away from the Dark Lord will not help. He understands that I am less powerful." 

"But if we get him away from the Dark Lord, and I come on like serious bad news, _and_ he knows the prophesy, he might betray him to me." 

For a moment, Severus just hammered at some hard substance on the table in front of him. After it shattered, he spoke. "Just what I need," he commented dryly. "You learning how to posture." 

 

It was several hours later, with three vials of new potions tucked in next to his wand, that Harry emerged from the dungeons. The Entrance Hall was bustling with people coming in, or downstairs, or upstairs, for dinner. Harry slipped out the door while it was open, went behind the bushes at the base of the stairs, and took off his cloak and stashed it. When there was no one in sight, he emerged again, and entered the castle visible. 

Hermione, Ron, and Ginny were waiting for him, and from the looks on their faces, Harry was certain they had noticed his absence, which meant he should probably pretend to be on the Squib drug. Inwardly, he sighed. 

Hermione marched over to him. Ron, behind her, shifted to avoid meeting Harry's eyes. Harry managed a lazy smile for Hermione. 

"Hi, girl," he said absently.

"Just two days, this time?" she asked pointedly, her voice tight with anger — or perhaps, he amended, looking again, worry. "Not lasting as long as you used to?"

Harry opened his mouth to say something bland or evasive, and nothing came. Hermione looked ready to scream, or perhaps cry, and the thoughts of _this is just what she's supposed to think_ and _this was my idea_ didn't help at all. He looked desperately over at Ron, but Ron was stubbornly looking down, his anxiety displayed clearly by a nervous chewing of his lip. 

"Well?" Hermione pushed. 

Harry looked at her and shook his head. He couldn't manage a smile. It just wouldn't come. "I can't do this anymore," he whispered.

"Can't do what, anymore?" Hermione's voice was sharp. She pushed forward, seeing a weakening, and Harry spun and ran. 

It was clear, almost immediately, that he would not be able to lose them and hide. Ron was taller and faster than he was, and Ginny, with them, was faster yet. Harry turned a corner into an empty section of hallway and pulled out his wand. Quickly he cast a Reflective Shield Charm on the space in front of him, then followed it with a Stupefaction Hex. The hex bounced off the shield and hit him. The last thing he heard was Ginny and Ron rounding the corner. 

 

Harry stirred, confused to feel he was lying someplace soft, and opened his eyes. Remus was looking down at him. 

"Hi there!" he said cheerily. "I heard you did a fancy bit of dueling with yourself."

Everything clicked into place. Harry had stunned himself to avoid playing wasted at Hermione, and was now in the hospital wing. He wondered why they hadn't revived him in the hallway.

"Anyone else here?" he asked nervously. 

Remus shook his head. "I made Ron, Hermione, and Ginny leave, and a certain other party doesn't dare be here. He asked me to check on you for him, if you can believe that."

Harry blinked. "Really? That's almost worth the headache."

"Speaking of headaches, Harry," Remus said pointedly, "don't try that stunt again on a stone floor. You were bleeding pretty badly when they brought you up here."

So that was why he hadn't been revived in the corridor. "Oh hell! This will be all over school."

"Not quite. Hermione told everyone that you had fallen while running from them, which the people who had seen you leave the Entrance Hall found quite believable. When you were up here, and Madame Pomfrey was busy, she and Ron and Ginny told me that you had cast a reflection shield, then used it to hex yourself, and she ended the shield spell before anyone else was in sight."

"Oh."

"Now," Remus said severely, "why would you do that?"

Harry sighed. His depression lightened as it occurred to him that Remus was the one person that he could tell everything. After a careful look around to confirm that they were alone, he launched in to the tale of Ron and Hermione's insistence on knowing where he went, his fears they would find out about Severus, his decision to fake being addicted to something, and how that plot was coming along more quickly and effectively than he had really wanted it to. Remus spent much of the explanation covering his face or shaking his head. He would occasionally burst out laughing, then apologize. 

"Poor lamb. Caught in your own web?" 

"It's not funny," Harry said sullenly. He grinned. "Okay. Yes, I am. Now tell me, _wolf,_ how do I get out of this?" He meant "wolf" as a light tease, and was surprised when Remus flinched.

"Remus?"

"Why are you asking a wolf?" Remus said bitterly.

"Oh, don't be like that," Harry pleaded. "I just think it's funny when you call me 'lamb.' I don't mind or anything — just you _could_ make that sound so threatening...." Harry bit his lip. "Dear wolf?" he tried. 

Remus smiled. "Oh, all right. I'm so used to that being an insult...."

"I'll stick to Remus, or Moony, or Professor Lupin, then. Anyhow — do you have any suggestions?"

Remus thought for a bit. 

"How about this," he said finally, "I'll talk to them." He shook his head. "They were frantically worried when they left here, and Hermione did tell me and Madame Pomfrey, though no one else, that she thought you were under the influence of something-- Don't snarl, Harry. She told Pomfrey because it might be medically important, and she told me because she wanted help." 

"Talk, fine, but what are you going to tell them?"

"I'll tell them that you and I spoke, and the details of that discussion are confidential, but for the moment, I believe they should not mention the incident, or any of the other things you have been fighting about, and just try to be good friends; and that if any thing further happens, they should come tell me about it, and I will investigate. Do you think that will help?"

"Loads," Harry said with relief. "They both trust you, probably more than any adult here, for something like that. I mean, Dumbledore's great, but he ignores a lot from me, and he has the whole school to look after."

"That's what we'll do, then. Let me call Madam Pomfrey — she needs to check on you, and evaluate whether or not you can have dinner." 

 

**********

 

Hermione rubbed at her temples as she tried to listen to what Ron was saying. She couldn't get the picture out of her head. She had turned the corner, a second behind Ron and Ginny, just in time to see Harry hit the stone floor with a sickening crack that sounded like it must have split his head in two. They had slowed the frightening flow of blood with a hurried spell, and levitated him to the hospital wing at a run. Hermione, almost automatically, had cast _Finite Incantantem_ on the shimmering shield behind him, and, when other people had caught them up, quickly told them that Harry had fallen in his flight. She had said the same to Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey, but when Professor Lupin appeared, she had collapsed on him, sobbing, and whispered the truth, including why Harry had run from her. She told Madam Pomfrey only that Harry might have been under the influence of something when he ran. Professor Lupin had taken her, Ron, and Ginny aside for more details, then sent them away, as soon as Madam Pomfrey assured them Harry would be fine. Hermione suspected that Harry might not be fine had he been left to Muggle medicine. 

"Ron, that's enough!" Ginny snapped. "I saw him, too. I'm convinced there is a problem, whatever it may be. Now what do we do?"

Hermione leapt eagerly at the distraction. Talking about the map would keep her brain occupied. When Ron said they should start mapping the locked rooms by pushing smoke under the doors, as they had in previous cases, she joined in. 

"I've been thinking about that. We may not have a rat animagus, but we could get a rat and control it."

"I don't know any animal control spells," Ron objected. 

Hermione rolled her eyes. "That's what the library is for." 

"But it couldn't communicate."

"You know how there are spells where you can enchant a thing —- a mirror, or a picture, or something like that — to display somewhere else what it 'sees?'. I was wondering if you could do that to an animal's eyes. If you can, then put the animal under control...."

Ron and Ginny looked impressed. 

"Brilliant," Ginny said. 

"Does it have to be a rat?" Ron protested. "I'm not sure I could take another rat." 

"A mouse wouldn't be strong enough," Hermione noted. 

"I suppose."

 

The portrait hole swung open, and Hermione, automatically, turned to look. It was Harry, looking entirely too cheerful. She thought he saw them, but he swung over to some seats near the fire, where Teresa and Iggy were sitting, and launched into telling them something. Zoë drifted over from nearby, and Hermione could see Harry assuring her that he was fine. He bent down his head and she stroked a hand over the back of it, then said something that made him laugh. 

Ron sighed. "Reckon we need to go to him?"

"No interrogations in front of an audience," Ginny warned. 

"Of course not," Hermione agreed. 

 

"So Professor Snape is covered in squashed clusters of red currants," Harry was saying when they arrived, "and has Peeves imprisoned in Mrs. Norris, who's screaming and spitting up a storm, and Professor Dumbledore comes out to see what the ruckus is and says, "Why Severus! You've finally added a bit of color to your wardrobe." 

He was at the center of a small crowd, now. Hermione met Harry's eyes through the ensuing laughter, and motioned towards the wall. Harry held the look for a moment, then minutely shook his head. 

"Pity he made him release Peeves, though," he said idly. "Oh! I saw the Wyverns off this morning. Want details?"

Hermione thought it most unlike Harry to be entertaining this way, but he launched readily into relating the departure of the Wyverns, complete with snatches of Parseltongue that made members of his audience shiver. Zoë was hanging on his every word, and, in parts, on his arm. Hermione wanted to hit her. Fifteen minutes later, Harry was still surrounded by people, most of them younger, and he had not met Hermione's eyes a second time. 

"I'm bloody starving," Harry said, finally. "Pomfrey wouldn't feed me a thing. Said that would teach me not to run in the halls." His audience laughed. "What do people want from the kitchens? Besides butterbeer?"

"Puddings," Ron volunteered. "I'll come with you."

Harry smiled and shook his head. "You know all about the kitchens, Ron. And you take too long! I should take one of the young ones, and pass on the knowledge of snitching food." His eyes scanned the crowd around him and came to rest on Teresa. "What about you, Teresa?" He grinned. "You can be my protegé!" 

Teresa, Hermione noted, glowed. 

 


	50. Shifting Alliances

 

Severus paced his sitting room, wondering if the damn werewolf would ever remember to contact him. An hour ago, he had been on his way to dinner, and had come up the stairs into an overly excited crowd of students in the entrance hall. The roar of overlapping words had seemed to contain Harry's name rather frequently. Quickly, Severus had located the convergence point of the crowd. He had stridden quickly through the slow flow of people, only to be nearly bowled over by Hermione Granger, the two remaining Weasleys, and a large floating missile. Before he could even shout, he had recognized the missile as the unconscious, bloody body of his son. His friends seemed to be heading up to the hospital wing as fast as the crowd would allow. 

"Stand aside, idiots!" he had bellowed furiously at the clustered students. "Let them through." That had helped. The little group had made it onto the stairs and had run up them as only Gryffindors could. Severus had seen Remus emerging from the Great Hall and had moved to cross his path.

"Check on him," he had whispered fiercely, as he brushed shoulders with the werewolf in passing. Remus had nodded sharply, or Severus thought he had, but had not contacted him since. He wanted to go up to Remus's rooms, but he was afraid they would pass each other in the halls. 

Finally, a knock sounded at his door. Severus hurried to answer it. He barely remembered to glance in the mirror to confirm that his visitor was Remus. 

"Well?" he demanded, as he opened the door. He stepped back to allow Remus to enter, and pushed the door shut behind him. 

"He's fine," Remus said as the door clicked shut. "Pomfrey may allow him to leave in a hour or two." Remus held up a hand to forestall any reply or dismissal. "However," he said, "I'm rather concerned about what happened." 

"And?" Severus growled, as Remus appeared to be waiting for an acknowledgment. He remembered a much younger Remus. _Sev_ _, can you at least let me know you heard? I feel like I'm talking to myself._

"The damage was self-inflicted." 

"What?" Severus gasped.

"Sorry -- I'm overstating." Remus rubbed at his forehead. "He had not intended to seriously hurt himself, but he _did_ intentionally hit himself with a Stupefaction Hex. Not surprisingly, he fell and hit his head. A rather nasty blow, at that." 

"Why wou-- Do you know why?

"To save himself from having to talk to Hermione, apparently."

"What? Lupin, that makes no sense!"

"And he admits this." Remus began to pace restlessly in front of the couch. "He tells me the two of you had some mad scheme to lead Hermione and Ron to believe he's taking some recreational concoction?"

"His scheme, mainly, but yes."

"Well, it worked far too well." Remus stopped pacing and began to wander from one item of furniture to the next. "Hermione is near-hysterical. Ron might be fine on his own, but he's adopting her anxiety. Of course this is entirely predictable, and if Harry had any sense of Muggle culture, he'd know how a girl like Hermione would react."

"I think Harry acts far more like a Muggle than he should."

Remus stopped near his desk and looked back at Severus. His expression was unreadable. "So he's told me."

Severus felt a hard ball form in the pit of his stomach. Why had Harry mentioned that? He never behaved as if that weighed on his mind. On the contrary, he scarcely acknowledged Severus's comments. 

"It bothers me that he felt that desperate," Remus continued, turning away to fidget with a letter opener that had been lying on the desk. He turned it over and over in his hands. "Do you know if he had an especially rough day?"

"I thought we'd had a rather pleasant day." Severus thought back over the afternoon. _We fought about Remus._ "We did have a fight." _And my teaching._ "Two, I suppose. But Remus, we always fight. He wasn't upset." 

Remus whirled to face him, wide-eyed with surprise, and Severus realized he had said the werewolf's first name. He flinched. 

"Perhaps I can talk to him about it on Monday," Remus suggested neutrally, regaining his composure. He put the letter opener carefully back down. Severus suspected it was exactly where it had been before he touched it. "After classes?"

"If I'm back."

Remus took a step towards him. "What do we do if you _don't_ come back?" he asked. "I know why you won't be here."

Severus shrugged and turned to regard a painting of a ship being struck by lightning in a stormy sea. He preferred not to have people, or other talking creatures, in his paintings. "I still don't understand what you mean about Harry not understanding Muggles," he said, pointedly redirecting the conversation. The ship pitched and tossed as its sails caught fire.

 "He isn't connected to Muggle culture. He wasn't taken to movies-- popular stories in photography -- and he didn't have the money for books, or a way to get to a library. He didn't interact with people, other than the Dursleys. He's comfortable with technology and the clothes, but even I, from occasionally taking refuge where no one will recognize what I am, have a better grasp of Muggle life than he does." 

"So you think this scheme of his is too dramatic."

"Absolutely." Remus crossed the room and stopped far to close to Severus. "Hermione told me what she suspected, and if she'd told McGonagall, instead, you'd have a pretty mess on your hands. If she'd told Professor Vector, whom I know she has personal conversations with, it would be even worse. Harry needs to drop this, or to pretend to get over it, before something breaks-- other than his head, that is." 

Severus desperately wanted to talk to Harry, but he was due at the Dark Lord's side in ten hours, and Harry would no doubt be closely watched, tonight. 

"Thank you for the report, Lupin," he said formally. "I have other matters to attend to."

Remus looked him once up and down. His pale eyes held nothing. "Of course," he said coolly. He stepped to the door. "Good night, Severus." 

He shut the door so gently that the click of the bolt was inaudible. Severus had to lean against the thick wood to be certain the latch had taken. 

 

**********

 

Harry got a few stares and snickers at breakfast, but he decided it wasn't too bad, as public embarrassments went. He supposed he should thank Hermione for her quick action; falling and hitting his head sounded dumb, but intentionally knocking himself out would have sounded completely mental. He supposed this meant that Hermione was still on his side, really, although it often didn't feel like it, anymore. 

Just as he had finished this thought, he saw her approaching. She was on her own, for once, which somehow made him feel safer. 

She sat beside him and nudged him gently. 

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Harry said defiantly. "It's a beautiful Sunday morning, and I've done enough of my homework to spend a chunk of the day outside-- why shouldn't I feel fine?"

"The mind boggles." She sighed. "Look, Harry ... I know you don't want to, but we need to talk. Come for a walk with me?"

"Does this walk involve groping you in the bushes by the lake?" Harry almost winced as the words left his mouth, but managed to keep a neutral expression.

Hermione's face darkened. "No."

"I'll pass, then. Go find Ron."

"I don't want to talk to Ron; I want to talk to you!"

"Look, I had a very long talk with Remus last night...."

"I don't care."

"I told him more than I can tell you. So why don't you go talk to him-- he said to send you-- and leave me alone." 

"Do you realize how horrible you're being?"

Harry, who had actually been feeling rather guilty about the groping question, was saved from answering by the arrival of the owls. Hedwig was among them, and she swooped gloriously through the crowd of lesser birds to drop a letter beside Harry's plate. She settled next to it, hooted softly, and stretched and settled her wings. He gave her bacon and scratched under her neck feathers, then unsealed the letter.

 

> To the esteemed Mr. H. Potter, Greetings!
> 
> Business is going well. Our thanks for the Mood Wings tip-- we'll bring extra. As for our brother ... we'll try to deal with him when we're there. Tell him we said not to be a prat. 
> 
> The fifth of October works, but we will need to leave early the next morning, as we've managed to score prime tickets to the Arrows/Wasps match on October the sixth. You must have heard about the new Beater on the Appleby Arrows-- Trent Durand. No way you couldn't -- not only has he been featured in every sports magazine in Europe, but he keeps showing up on the cover of Witch Weekly, for the ladies' viewing pleasure. Oliver's met him, though, and says he's not a clothes horse, just a handsome bloke, and not too snobby to talk Quidditch with a minor-team alternate. 
> 
> Any Arrow/Wasps match would be a rousing time, but seeing Durand play will be the real treat. Of course, his fan distribution has its own possibilities -- We're bringing a few of our showier, more harmless items to draw the loose birds.
> 
> We can certainly make you look like an angel, Harrykins, and we'd be happy to do any mid-term shopping you wish. Anything you want, this trip?
> 
> It was weird, having a first-year on the team, but you were a good, steady kid. We (all the big, grown-up third-years) talked, sometimes, about what a stroke of luck that was. It's odd to watch you become closer to our age, if you understand what we mean. A year after you leave school, I doubt it will seem like a difference at all. 
> 
> Cheers, 
> 
> Fred (& George)

 

"You're smiling," Hermione said softly. "For real." 

Harry grinned at her. "It's from Fred and George. They'll come to the Gryffindor/Ravenclaw match." 

"It should be fun to see them," Hermione said agreeably. 

"Look, Hermione-- I am sorry about being such a git. What do you say to a truce?"

"What kind of truce?"

"You drop the interrogations and accusations, and I won't hold anything you have said or done against you." 

Hermione hesitated. After a moment's thought, she spoke. "How about this-- I won't ask you about anything you have already done. If you don't disappear again, that's the end of it. If you do, though, all bets are off." 

"So, basically, we both act like the last three weeks didn't happen?"

"Right." 

Harry sighed. That would be a pretty short-lived truce. "Better than nothing, I suppose," he said. "Do talk to Professor Lupin, though." 

 

After breakfast, Harry went up to the library. He set out his books, but decided to reply to Fred and George before starting on class work.

 

> Dear Twins,
> 
> Durand is brilliant! You're so lucky to be able to see him play. I can't wait to leave school and get to go where I want. 
> 
> I understand what you mean about ages. Ginny is my age, now, really. 
> 
> I'd love some Muggle cigarettes, if you don't mind. The problem is that if certain people catch me with them, they'll be confiscated, so I need more packs then they think I'll have. Four or five, perhaps? The packs of ten are fine. Don't give them to me in public. 
> 
> Best wishes, 
> 
> Harry

 

The sensation of someone looking over his shoulder caused Harry to look up. Draco was standing beside him.

"What?" Harry asked, hurriedly folding the letter. 

"I saw your departure from the great hall, yesterday," Draco said pointedly.

Harry sighed. "You and fifty other people."

"I hadn't been able to find you all day." Draco managed to make it sound as if Harry should apologize for this. Harry resisted the urge. "Would you like to tell me what inspired that display?"

"No," Harry said flatly. 

Draco shrugged. "All right then. I won't ask you again. Would you like to come down to the pitch after the Slytherin practice and fly with me? Just for fun? You might work some of those nerves off."

"Sounds great," Harry said.

"Later, then." Draco swaggered off. Draco was proud of him accepting, Harry realized. That felt good. 

 

Hermione and Ron shifted uneasily on Professor Lupin's couch. Lupin didn't seem to notice their discomfort. He offered them a choice of pumpkin juice, butterbeer, or tea, then said nothing more until all of the beverages were poured. 

"I don't suppose I need to tell you," he said, "that your friend had a very difficult summer." There was no need for him to qualify "your friend." They had come here to talk about Harry. 

"Through August," he continued, "he was recovering nicely. I had expected your presence to accelerate this change, not degrade it."

The disappointment on his face was worse then any reproof. Hermione found herself wanting to apologize before she was certain what he had found wrong with her. 

"We were just trying to keep things private, sir," Ron said quietly.

"What things? You don't understand what he's doing, or what he's going through, and I can assure you, he has reasons not to tell you. I and at least two of my associates are keeping quite close watch on Harry, and there is nothing in his life that needs further interference."

"But--" Hermione protested. 

"It is not your job to protect Harry," Lupin said, placidly, but firmly. "It is my job, and it is Dumbledore's job-- one, I might note, to which he now applies more direct attention -- but it is not yours. Your job is to be his friends-- to be trustworthy and kind, and to help him when he asks for help."

"But he never asks!" Ron burst out. 

Lupin sighed. "I understand your frustration with that. Still, I cannot be his refuge." His pale brown eyes looked pleadingly at each of them in turn. "I need you to do that. If we are all trying to guide him, he has no one for comfort, and he needs comfort, perhaps more than guidance." 

Hermione shifted uneasily at the thought of the map in her bag. After Harry had left, the night before, she and Ron had gone down to the dungeons and risked mapping the rooms off the short hall. They had given Snape's lab wide berth, at the sight of flickering light coming through the crack under the door. 

Hermione had hoped to ask Lupin about Peter's role in the making of the original Marauders' Map. She was certain they were missing some aspect of how the mapping had been done, because the Marauder's Map had included all the public spaces they had not figured out a way to cense, and all the outdoor areas. Now, she was certain that if she asked Lupin about the map, he would know exactly what they had been using it for. She was equally certain, as she might not have been the day before, that he would disapprove. 

 

When Hermione and Ron left Lupin's office, Hermione led Ron into a nearby classroom and shut the door behind them. 

"He's right, you know," Ron said gloomily. "It's what I started to do a week ago."

"I'd sort of like to finish the map, anyway," Hermione advanced. She managed to restrain herself from saying that she could not bear to drop such a challenging project. That would not motivate Ron. 

"Bringing him in, or giving it to him for Christmas?" Ron asked. 

"I'm not sure we'll finish it by Christmas, at this rate. There must be a better way to do things." 

"Well, bring him in, then. He looks at things differently from you or me."

"Ginny's been working on it, too."

"Ginny is nothing like Harry. And she hasn't been thinking about it, just going along." 

"Well, let's start the research on animal control spells. When we see Harry, we'll just tell him what we're doing. He'd probably enjoy sneaking into Hogsmeade to look at rats; I'll be worried sick we'll be caught." 

"I'm still not certain I can bear keeping a rat." 

 

Harry glanced at the time, and began packing up his books. The Slytherin practice would be over soon. He thought it would be best, though Draco had not said so, if he kept out of sight of the other Slytherin players, but he also suspected Draco would not wait long for him, so he needed to get near the pitch and watch for the Slytherins starting to leave. 

On his way out of the library, he met Hermione and Ron.

"Harry! Stay a bit longer?" Hermione urged. 

Harry shook his head. "I'm done for the day." 

"Doing anything fun?" Ron asked hopefully. "I don't need to --" Hermione elbowed him. 

"I'm meeting Draco," Harry said coolly. "You should probably stay away."

 _And that,_ he thought with satisfaction as he headed down the stairs, _ended that conversation._

 

As he got closer to the pitch, he couldn't help thinking that it also provided some clue to his fate were he to not return to the castle. "He was meeting Draco," Hermione would say, wringing her hands, and Dumbledore would look concerned and Severus would mutter darkly about his idiocy. 

Near the pitch, Harry skulked behind some bushes, listening to shouts and thumps from the aerial activities of the Slytherins. Eventually, Draco called an end to the practice, and the noise ended. From here, Harry found, he could not hear anything from the changing rooms. 

After a boring wait, someone passed his hiding place on the way back to school. Another followed. Harry couldn't see the passing Slytherins until they were too far away to identify from the back, but he counted them as they passed. When six had gone by, he went the other way around the bush and into the passage that led to the pitch, itself. 

"There you are!" Draco said, with no little satisfaction. "You needn't have waited, you know. They don't bite unless I tell them to." 

Harry shrugged. "You hadn't said."

"Let's race!" Malfoy, predictably, did not wait for Harry to be ready, just took off, yelled back the goal, and gloated about winning. Harry retaliated with a race of his choosing and did the same. In ten minutes, it was nothing more than a wordy game of tag. Harry didn't mind at all. He was working out his nerves, he thought-- he felt calm and happy flying with no responsibilities. 

It was forty minutes later when they finally tumbled off their brooms and went to sit on the bottom benches of the stands. Draco was flushed, and his hair streaked dark with sweat. The sight reminded Harry that Draco had been through a full practice before Harry arrived. His uncertainty returned. 

"Any reason for this invitation?" Harry asked. 

Draco shrugged. "You looked like you needed a break from your Gryffindor friends, and I wanted to talk to you."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Talk to me about what?"

With an explosive sigh, Draco crossed his arms over his chest and slouched back. He looked so sulkily childish that Harry wanted to laugh, but when he spoke, it was in his best, clear tones, with considered, adult words.

"I have come to the conclusion that there is no plot. Is that correct?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have no particular reason to cultivate my friendship; it simply struck your fancy, when you walked into Potions, to be amiable to an enemy."

"No," Harry protested. The distant precision in Draco's voice horrified him. Didn't the Slytherin ever relax? 

"Well? What is your goal, then?"

"There's no goal," Harry said stubbornly. "Or not the sort that-- But it wasn't a whim."

"Explain, then." Draco was still flushed. Harry suspected he had little experience in unmotivated friendly interactions, and probably did not trust them. Harry thought about what he could say. 

"Over the summer," Harry said, "I received a letter-- from someone who was dead. It had a lot of things in it of the sort you don't tell people when you're alive."

"So this was meant to go to you after the sender's death."

"Yes." Draco would think the letter was from Sirius, Harry realized. After a moment's consideration, he decided that worked well.

"He talked a lot about where things went wrong--"

"How very Gryffindor," Draco sneered. 

Harry remembered Severus, sitting with his face covered, talking about the Game. "Universal, I suspect," he said. "It wasn't some chest-beating confession, but he did need to apologize, or at least explain. He couldn't apologize to the right person, to his face, because the ... matter of guilt continued, and he needed to protect the--" Harry stopped. "Not the innocent, I suppose, but the differently guilty."

Draco laughed. "What a fine phrase, Potter. May I use it?"

"Go right ahead. Oh. And me. I was entirely innocent of the matter, but embroiled in it, though I didn't know. He thought I should know, and he was the last one who knew my connection. So he sent me this letter." Harry hesitated. He'd gone off track. "All of which has nothing to do with you." He ignored Draco's contemptuous snort. "It is just ... it was a long story, largely about two boys who were awful to each other, not for any grand reasons, but just because they were immature, self-absorbed twits." 

"Like me," Draco said coldly. 

"Like us," Harry corrected. "And there were reasons later; reasons always come. I could claim I hated you over any number of things, but they were all _later_. Even insulting Ron was later. It was that you made me afraid people wouldn't like me, that I'd look stupid. You didn't know who I was. You hadn't looked at me enough to see my scar. You were just boasting."

"When was this?" Draco protested.

"Madame Malkin's, getting fitted for school robes. Oh, and you sounded like my cousin-- all spoiled and whiny and plotting to get your parents to buy you things."

"But we were shopping! What else would I be thinking about? And what did I say to frighten you?"

"That they shouldn't let in ... kids who didn't know wizarding traditions. Ones who had never heard of Hogwarts."

"I just meant--" Draco stopped himself. "Oh. You hadn't, had you?"

"Of course not. I'd get locked in my cupboard without food any time I said the word 'magic.' Sometimes they'd take the light. I didn't even know why." 

"Fuck," Draco muttered. He let out a long breath. "All right. You were talking about a letter, and self-absorbed twits."

"Yes. So, we've found plenty of good, solid reasons to hate each other. You've wished death on me and my friends, and repeatedly sworn support for someone who is actively trying to kill me. I've been horrible to you, and your father got jailed pursuing me. It became real." Harry forced himself to breathe. "Still, I wanted to see if we could get out of it. Even if we remain enemies politically. I can't do anything about Voldemort, right now, or about Fudge. I could say 'Welcome back' to you." 

Draco was silent for a while. He was looking out over the pitch towards the first orange clouds of sunset. The late afternoon light struck his near-white hair and brought out glints of gold in it. 

"I'm glad you did," he said. He hesitated. "I got a letter, too," he said. "Not like that-- no great revelations or baring of the soul. From Father. He is allowed to write, but seldom does. They read everything and sometimes censor it, so he cannot tell me secrets, or command me to take the Mark. That's what this last letter meant, though-- 'I have heard you are not living up to your obligations as a Malfoy.' He is ashamed of my inaction." 

Harry tried to look sympathetic. He didn't dare speak. It occurred to him that if Draco felt the need to prove his loyalty, he had Harry quite alone for the attempt. 

"I've spoken to Professor Snape, more times than I can count, this term. I had expected his advice to be straightforward, but it is not." Draco stopped. Harry saw him wondering how to proceed without endangering his head of house.

"I sometimes think he supports the Dark Lord himself," Harry commented flippantly, to suggest that ambiguity might work. 

Draco choked. 

"Oh, come on! It's not that far fetched!" Harry protested, in mock indignation. "And I'm not just saying that because he's a Slytherin!"

"Supports _who,_ Potter?" Draco asked.

"The D-" Harry stopped. "Oh hell!" He gritted his teeth. "Voldemort." 

"Fortunately, no one can think you support the Dark Lord," Draco said dryly. 

"I wish!"

Draco's pale eyes opened wide. "Someone has?"

Harry ducked his head. "Not really. But Hermione was angry at me for calling him that -- which was the first time I realized I did."

"Why do you?"

Harry grinned. "Bad company."

"Oh, don't blame it on me, Potter!"

"No, it was before you. Anyway, you were talking about Snape."

"Yes. Professor Snape does not seem confident of who will win. He advised me to make friends with a number of younger students from across the political spectrum. He stressed that it was important to have allies in the case of any eventuality."

"Have you?"

"I..." Draco looked pained. "I am trying to do so. I am not sure of how to make friends without a common target. Usually, I make the plots...."

"You seem to be doing fine with me." 

"Yes, but ... you're _you._ We have history, however horrible, and interests and other things to talk about." 

"You have things in common with the younger students, too."

"Such as?"

"You've taken most of the classes they're taking now, right? Ask them about that. How do they like Potions? Are they having any trouble in Transfiguration? Oh, one time McGonagall had us turning meadow voles into change purses, and two owls came in...." 

Draco grinned. "I heard about that class! But then I'll end up tutoring." 

Harry shrugged. "A little bit, maybe. But you might make friends." 

Draco sighed. "Planning grand, coordinated attacks is so much easier."

"But does it get you friends, or just convince people you're clever?" Harry thought the question might be too pointed, and kept going, to save Draco from needing to answer. "Everyone knows you're clever, anyway." 

Draco smiled. "So you have learned flattery, Harry? How unexpected." 

 

When Harry got back to the castle, he was happy. He had spent over an hour with Malfoy, and nothing bad had happened. His good mood faltered as he cautiously entered the Common Room, but revived when Ron and Hermione were not in evidence. Zoë and Ginny were talking by the fireplace. Colin was trying to show pictures to Lavender and she was trying to brush him off by speaking loudly and quickly to Parvati, but was hampered in her effort by being somewhat interested in the pictures. Seamus was conspiring with Dean over a shared parchment. All was right with the world. 

Harry continued up to his dormitory. To his dismay, Ron was there, sitting cross-legged on his bed, with his elbows on his knees and his chin on his fists. He looked up when Harry entered the room.

"Have a good time?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes."

The plain answer seemed to derail Ron's hostility. He sighed. "Sorry. What do you _do_ in a get-together with Malfoy, anyway? Make up insults? Plot world domination?" 

"Play broomstick tag and talk about friendship and hate and political obligations." 

Ron's brow furrowed as he studied Harry. 

"That seems entirely too...."

"Yeah, I know. The nasty, vicious twerp is a real person with real feelings. Odd, huh?" 

"Why you?"

"That was part of what we talked about. He said curiosity and fear, at first-- I'd been decent to him, and he wanted to know what my game was -- then the thrill of making people stare, then that my, quote, 'quirky behavior' grew on him."

Harry flopped down on his bed, then drew out his wand and unlocked the drawer of his bedside table. He pulled out two Chocolate Frogs, and tossed one to Ron. 

"Why do you keep that locked, now?"

Harry was tempted to ask how Ron knew he kept it locked, but perhaps Ron hadn't known until he unlocked it, just now. He forced a shrug. 

"It has my potions in it. I wouldn't want anyone taking them, or testing them, or something. The muscle relaxant becomes ineffective within ten minutes of being opened, so even if someone just opened it and closed it again, I'd be screwed. That stuff is really very secret, because the reason I need it is secret, so I can't just tell people that they shouldn't touch it."

"Oh." Ron bit his lip. He held the unopened Chocolate Frog, and turned it over and over in his hands. "What else are you taking?"

"Nothing else." Harry looked at Ron's incredulous expression and sighed. "Look, I just thought that Hermione would be less hysterical if she felt she was figuring something out. I was wrong. Sorry."

Ron stared. "You mean you've been intentionally pretending--"

"Yeah." 

Ron responded with a short laugh. "You are completely _mental,_ do you know that?"

"Ron, I hit myself with a Stupefaction Hex last night."

"And?"

"Well, so it _has_ occurred to me. I think this is good, though. I'm working stuff out, you know?"

"What stuff?"

Harry thought about that. _Professor Snape is my father. Oh, and he's in danger, now. And I may lose him when we need to tell people. And that matters to me. I live with him working for Voldemort, or he might be driven mad, or need to mutilate himself. And he used to love Remus, but now he won't admit Remus is human. And he left my mother because she was Muggle-born, and he used to kill half-bloods, because we don't count. And he's better than that, now, but it still matters to him, and I'm not socialized for wizarding society._ "I can't tell you."

"Can you tell Malfoy?" Ron asked pointedly.

"No." Harry flopped onto his back. "I can't tell anyone. It fucking sucks." 

 


	51. Confrontation

 

Hermione loitered in the hallway outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. She was there early because Ron had said they needed to talk. Since Potions always ran until the last possible minute, Hermione suspected she had at least ten minutes before Harry arrived. _Deep in some conversation with Malfoy,_ she added to herself.

Ron ran up a few minutes later. "Glad you're here," he said.

"What is it?" Hermione asked. 

"A few things. First, I asked Harry, straight out, about the potions, last night."

"And?" 

"He said he was making it up to distract you."

" _What?_ "

"He said he thought you'd ask fewer questions if you thought you were figuring stuff out on your own." 

"That's insane!" Hermione said incredulously.

"That's about what I said." 

"Do you believe him?" 

"I don't know. Anyway, I think I should act like it's true. It makes it easier to do what Professor Lupin wants, doesn't it?"

"I suppose." Hermione sighed. "And he and I made a bargain, yesterday." 

"That being?" 

"Neither of us will mention anything the other has done, unless it happens again." 

Ron considered this and nodded. "I suppose," he said neutrally, as Ernie Macmillan walked by. He looked at Hermione. "So, should we try to get him to sit with us, today?" 

"He'll be with Draco." 

"I know. Should we try?"

"He won't."

"He was friendly with me, last night." 

"Lucky you." 

Ron hesitated. "I think I'm-- I'm less pushy. He talks when it's just me, 'cause he knows I don't argue much. When we fight, it's terrible, but usually, we don't." 

"Do you think he'll sit with you if I'm not there?"

"Could be." 

"Fine." Hermione tried not to sound upset, but she could hear that it hadn't worked. "I'll sit with Padma, and you try to get Harry to sit with you." 

"Okay." Ron took a deep breath and waited for Hannah Abbot to pass them and go into the classroom. "When do we confess about the map?"

"You want to actually tell him what it was for?"

"I think we might as well get it over with." 

Hermione hesitated. She knew that Ron was right. Attempting to tell Harry only half of the story of the map would only prolong the time he was angry with them for it. 

"Perhaps after Care of Magical Creatures?"

"While Hagrid's still close enough to keep him from killing us?" Ron joked.

Hermione laughed weakly. "Um... right." 

 

**********

 

Severus was not at the staff table at breakfast. Harry was terrified something had happened on his day working for Voldemort. Logically, he thought Professor Dumbledore would have told him, had anything gone wrong, but he rushed anxiously down to the Potions classroom, nonetheless. He was relieved to see Severus enter, looking as exhausted as Remus, but unharmed. Potions was an unusually quiet class. 

When Harry and Draco entered Defense Against the Dark Arts, Hermione was sitting with Padma, and Ron was sitting alone. Harry wondered if they had fought, and if it had been about him. Ron motioned him over. 

"What?" Harry asked, pausing in the aisle. 

"Sit with me?" Ron asked. 

Harry grinned, but shook his head. "What, Hermione won't share her notes? I'll sit with you at lunch, okay?"

Ron looked down. "Fine," he agreed. 

Harry sat with Draco. While they were settling in, Professor Lupin entered. He walked to his place at the front of the class.

"Mr. Potter?" 

Harry glanced up from peering over at Draco's notes. Professor Lupin was regarding him grimly. Of course, this close to the moon, Lupin either looked grim or on the verge of collapse. 

"Yes sir?"

"Please come see me in my office at four o'clock." 

Harry looked apprehensively at Draco.

"And you are not to associate with that evil boy!" Draco whispered imperiously. 

Harry muffled a laugh. 

"Mr. Potter?"

"Yes, sir." 

 

Lunch was pleasant. Hermione was true to her word, and did not pester Harry about anything, though that seemed, sometimes, to leave her at a loss for words. It didn't help her, Harry thought, that Ron had decided to fill the space by talking about Quidditch. Finally, Harry cut him off. 

"When do you think we'll have a Hogsmeade weekend?" he asked.

"This weekend, I expect," Hermione said. 

"Vector tell you?" Ron asked. 

"No, but it can't be the next one, right? Because of the Quidditch match. And the one after that is a bit late."

"Well that's good!" Harry said. "I've run out of Chocolate Frogs." 

"We used to eat them all the first day," Ron reminded him. He sounded almost wistful. 

" _You_ still do," Hermione said loftily. 

"I now prefer having a supply to eating them until I feel sick," Harry commented. "I think it's one of those 'growing up' things." 

 

After Care of Magical Creatures, Harry started up to school, only to find himself between Ron and Hermione. Hermione caught at his arm and Ron at his shoulder. Instinctively, Harry backed up a pace, so they were both in front of him, rather than one on each side. 

"What?" he demanded. 

"We need to talk to you," Ron said seriously. 

"Oh no! You promised--"

"Not to ask you anything," Hermione said quickly. "We have something to confess." 

Harry sighed. Well, this, at least, he could tolerate, he decided. "Let me guess," he said, rolling his eyes, "you're going out again, right? I haven't been losing any sleep over it, but I'm not particularly surprised, and I just wish--"

"No," Hermione interrupted. "We're not." 

"Yeah?" Harry challenged. "Then what's all the skulking around?"

Ron and Hermione looked nervously at each other for a minute.

"We've been working on a new map of Hogwarts --" Hermione began. 

"Like the Marauder's Map."

"We were planning to give it to you when we were done."

Harry felt like he'd been plunged into ice. He could only think of one reason why they would not have asked him to help. "And until then?"

"We thought we might be able to find out where you went."

Harry heard his voice come out flat and cold. "You goddamned, fucking _traitors._ "

"We wouldn't have told--"

"We just wanted to handle it ourselves--"

"I DON'T CARE!!" He was screaming now. It was just as unreal. 

Hermione rummaged frantically in her bag. She pulled out a roll of parchment and thrust it at him. 

"It's a wonderful project," she said, her words tumbling over each other in her hurry. 'I realized that was why I couldn't stop. You can hold onto it, so you know we're not using it, but I'd like to continue--"

"GET AWAY FROM ME! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT!"

"Harry--" Ron tried. 

Instantly, the searing rage was gone. Harry was trapped in ice. "I don't care," he said, a third time, coldly. "Don't _ever_ speak to me again." 

Without looking at the roll of parchment, he took it and stalked off. Ron and Hermione did not follow. 

 

It was still an hour until Harry was supposed to meet Remus. He went to Remus's office anyway. Remus was not there, yet; he was probably still in class with younger kids. His office was unlocked. Harry sat on the worn couch, fuming. _Remus must have helped them. Hermione would never have ignored such a valuable resource. The two-faced, sneaking bastard! I'll kill him._

He finally unrolled the map and looked at it, and cold fear began to undermine his fury. They'd got close. The spotty areas of mapping showed how they had concentrated their efforts to match his movements. Severus's parlor showed, along with the doors to the kitchen and bathroom. Harry wondered when they had seen him there. The lab was not mapped, but a faint mark was at the door. 

He saw a little dot labeled "Draco Malfoy" appear at Severus's door. A little dot labeled "Severus Snape" let it in. Embarrassed, Harry rolled up the map. Knowing that he would have watched, fascinated and guessing frantically, a year ago, did not help his mood in the slightest. He was certain that Hermione and Ron would have watched, and had the frightened thought that perhaps he had become older than they had. Hermione had always been the oldest of them, before.

At three-thirty, Remus came in. He started at the sight of Harry on his couch. 

"Did you know?" Harry demanded. 

"Excuse me?" Remus asked tentatively.

"About the map! The one Ron and Hermione were making?"

Remus looked confused. "They asked me how the map was made...."

"Did you know they were using it to spy on me?"

Remus's eyes widened. "Oh, Harry! I'm so sorry! I had no idea." When Harry continued to glare at him, he sat down at the other end of the couch and dropped his head in his hands. "Harry, please! I didn't know. I understand how you feel."

"Do you?"

Remus bit his lip. "Sirius and James did that to me...."

Curiosity cut through Harry's anger. He twisted to face Remus. "When you were seeing Severus?"

Remus looked startled. Slowly he nodded. 

"Did Severus know? That they did that to you?"

Remus laughed slightly. "Of course. I went running to him and wept. And then he told me he was a much better friend to me, and then I wanted to defend them. It was horrible." He hesitated. "I don't know how much you know...."

"He's told me about some of it." 

"Told you!" Remus laughed again, even more falsely. "I didn't think he would admit to that."

"Sorry," Harry said. "He seems to be mellowing on you, though.'

"Yes." Remus shuddered. "Well, that's not likely to last long." 

"Does he know where I am?" Harry asked.

"As you are a half-hour early, no. But we know who he'd come after if you disappeared, so you had better stay."

"Sorry."

"It's perfectly all right, Harry. Sometimes it's even a convenience -- to say I am being watched." 

"Father's right then."

Remus flinched, and Harry realized what he had said. Perhaps it was easier, now that he listened to Draco frequently-- Draco said "Father" as naturally as Ron said "Dad." Still, he knew he had never referred to anyone that way, before. He ignored the growing heat in his cheeks. 

"Yes," Remus said, not commenting on the title. "I'm not embroiled, as he is, but it still helps." 

"Are you all right?" Harry asked. 

Remus suddenly looked sad, as well as tired. "No," he admitted. "But I won't hurt you, Harry. You are as dear to me as my own child."

Harry found the promise of a trust he had taken for granted frightening. "Thanks," he managed.

"But Severus is right. If you don't trust me, it is all much easier. And I'm tired. The approach of the wolf makes me ill." 

"I know that."

"Good." Remus traced a finger along the weave of the couch back. "Do not be alone with me, in secret, this week." 

"Remus?" Harry asked, panicked.

"He's a clever one," Remus said idly. "Oh-- a message. Severus wants you to come and see him on Tuesday night. I've persuaded him that the addiction scheme is a bad idea -- it is, you know -- so he says to come when your roommates are all asleep." 

"I didn't expect such trouble."

"Obviously." Remus grinned. "You're hopeless as a Muggle, you know."

Harry slouched back into the cushions. "But I'm not any better as a wizard." 

Remus looked serious. "Harry -- on Saturday -- were you upset?"

"What do you think?" 

"Before you saw Hermione, I mean. Severus says you fought...."

"Oh! No, we'd had a wonderful day. I think I was too relaxed, really." Harry pulled his fingers through his hair. "Though perhaps not as much as I managed to think I was. The thought of him leaving...." He hesitated. "You know, right?

"Where he disappeared to, yesterday? Yes. I know." 

"That was hanging over everything." Harry twisted the ring on his finger. The green stone sparkled on the gold band. "But yesterday wasn't as bad as the time before. I had my little fits, but I mostly managed to ignore it. I didn't panic until this morning, when he wasn't at breakfast." Harry wanted to pull his legs up and curl into them. He straightened and moved his hands apart. 

"Will I get used to that?" he asked desperately. "Did you? When people go away, like that, and they might...?"

Remus shivered. "It never feels like it," he murmured. He focus grew distant. "Then one day, someone doesn't come home, and you find that you had done." He looked up with a start, guilt adding tension to his worn face. "I'm sorry, Harry! That was a horrible thing to say."

"Don't -- you can tell me these things."

Remus stood up and took a step away. He looked down at his desk. "You're too young."

"That doesn't keep me from these problems," Harry pointed out. "Anyway, Severus came home, this time." 

Remus turned to smile affectionately at him. "I wish we could protect you," he said sadly. He leaned back against the desk. "How is the rest of your life?" he asked, with a trace of irony.

"Just ... surreal. I feel so schizo. I need to be someone entirely different when I'm in Gryffindor."

"That's not good."

"No, it isn't," Harry agreed. He pushed the hair out of his face and wondered if it was long enough to tie back. 

"Is it an act? The other things, I mean-- your Gryffindor personality."

"Not entirely." Harry thought. "No," he said, more confidently. "But it's edited. Severus accepts that I'm a Gryffindor, really. It's all teasing and sly insults, but not badly meant. I don't edit much, for him. Ron and Hermione would never accept the extent to which I'm also a Slytherin." 

Remus came back and sat down, again, in the chair, this time. He gave Harry a wry smile. "Have I mentioned that I dislike the house system increasingly, the older I get?"

"No, but I'm glad. It makes me feel less crazy."

"Harry..." Remus leaned forward, elbows on knees, and seemed to pour all the energy he could muster into sincerity. "The Sorting Hat is pieces of the founders' thoughts. If two of the founders liked you enough to claim you, that's a good thing, not a bad one. You have a breadth of talent. Be proud of that." 

 

 

Harry was feeling calmer, by the time he went back to Gryffindor. He glanced around the common room as he entered it. Hermione was not there. Ron was sitting, hunched over, near the fireplace, speaking to Ginny and Zoë. Harry went to a chair on the other side of the room and started unpacking his bags. He felt somebody watching him, and looked up to see Zoë. Her straight hair was pulled to one side in a glossy, walnut braid. With the robes, it gave her, to Harry, the look of a maiden in a tapestry. 

"Do you do archery?" he asked.

"What?"

"You'd make a lovely Maid Marion." Harry took his school bag off the adjoining chair. "Here. Sit." 

Zoë giggled and sat. "You're so sweet." 

Harry looked doubtfully at her, causing another giggle. He found himself wondering why he had ever hated girls giggling. 

"So," Zoë said, timidly. 

"You've been listening to Ron," Harry guessed. 

"Yes. He says that you fought and you hate him."

"He and Hermione have been using a magical device to spy on me."

"Oh, Harry!" Zoë exclaimed sympathetically "That's awful."

"They've been driving me completely crazy! I don't know how I could ever trust them, after this." 

Zoë sighed. "Ginny wanted me to tell you something."

"Ginny can't talk to me herself?" Harry asked sharply. 

"She's busy with her brother, at the moment," Zoë pointed out. "Anyway, she wants you to know that she knew what was going on, last week, and she didn't tell you, because she thought it was distracting them, and making you fight less."

Harry twitched. "Well, screw her!" he managed finally.

Zoë shrugged. It was a tight, nervous motion. "She just wanted me to tell you."

"I'm not mad at you." 

"I know."

"But I'm not going to be pleasant, right now, either," Harry admitted. "I think I'll just bury myself in school work until dinner time, okay?"

"Okay." Zoë looked timidly at him. "Later?"

"'Course." __

 

Tuesday was horrible. Harry spent most of it avoiding Ron and Hermione. He finished the first draft of his essay on Voldemort's rise to power, because he was entirely in the mood to write about manipulative politics: the way Voldemort united oppressed groups, had enough admirable ideas to divide his opposition, and organized groups of violent supporters, while distancing himself from them in public; and how thoroughly suckered the majority of British society had been, until the body count, rather than the injustice, got too high to ignore. 

Harry reread the essay, frowning at the mentions of werewolves. That was happening again. He snorted. Trust Voldemort to try to use the same script a second time. He frowned more deeply as he realized it was still working, though not the way it had, the first time. This time, the government was cracking down. Voldemort might be unimaginative, but he was still clever. Against the backdrop of the Ministry repression, the same technique might be working better, in some ways. 

He scribbled a note to himself -- _Ask Remus about Voldemort's first courting of the werewolves_ \-- and stuck it in his Defense text, so he would see it in class. 

On Tuesday evening, he needed to get through Quidditch practice with both Ron and Ginny. He gave no advice, for once, merely shouted orders, then ignored everyone. He felt a bit guilty when he saw Ginny picking up the slack, coaching Iggy on a coordinated pass sequence, but his anger was stronger, and he remained high above the rest of the team, as if they were in a game. Ginny had still made no attempt to talk to him since her relayed message, the previous night. 

After practice, he showered and went straight back to Gryffindor and to bed. He set his wand to replay a silent alarm, in case he actually slept. Neville looked up from the dormitory desk as Harry settled in his bed. 

"Should I go, Harry?"

"No, I'll just draw my curtains," Harry said. _Perfect,_ he thought. "I don't mind having you here." 

 

He did sleep. He woke briefly to the sound of others moving around, then slept again, until his wand heated and twitched beneath his pillow, to wake him. Then he cautiously checked outside the curtains. 

The nearly-full moon spilled light in the window -- enough that he could see without wandlight. Harry was grateful for that. The other boys were all in their beds and asleep. Harry pulled his invisibility cloak out from under his covers and put it on over his pajamas, then padded quietly from the room and down to the dungeons. 

 

Harry entered Severus's rooms quietly, but Severus, his wand out, appeared almost instantly in the kitchen door. 

"Just me."

"So I see." Severus pocketed the wand. "Take the rest of that cloak off-- I hate speaking to your floating head, it feels like an uninspired nightmare -- and come join me." 

When Harry got to the kitchen, Severus pushed a cup of tea at him and sat back to study him. 

"You've changed again."

"I have?"

"Not fond of mirrors, are you?"

"Not really, no," Harry admitted. 

"Come here." 

Severus led Harry into his summer bedroom, where the wardrobe mirror greeted him sleepily. 

"Growing the hair out, dearie?"

"I haven't decided," Harry said automatically. He stared at his reflection. 

The scar was still there. It was clearer than ever, now that he had no fringe to hide it. The long strands that fell to either side of his face were certainly not a fringe, anymore. His face had changed. The chin, he thought, was still the same, but the cheekbones and length of his face were closer to Severus's than they had been before. He scowled experimentally, and the expression reminded him eerily of an annoyed Professor Snape, with more shallow lines at the mouth and brow, and far more expressive eyes. He smiled cheerfully, and that expression did not resemble anything familiar. His default expression, he noted, had less receptiveness to it. 

Harry reached up to pull the hair back, and noticed his hands -- long-fingered and gracefully slender. The lady's ring did not look out of place on them, now, any more than it would on Malfoy's hands.

With his hair back, he looked less like Severus and more like a stranger. He suspected he'd also look a bit silly, as the front hair was only just long enough to gather, leaving a tuft that would stick straight out in back. He released the bundle.

Severus's hands slid through his hair, pulling the front sections up and back. "You could wear it as Lucius did," he said slyly. 

Fortunately, Harry thought, studying himself that way, he looked nothing like Lucius Malfoy. To his surprise, Harry _liked_ the way he looked with his hair like that, even though it displayed his scar even more plainly. He decided he was as tired of hiding his scar as he had been of avoiding snakes. _Perhaps people will get over it faster, if it's right out there._ Yes, he decided, his hair looked good this way, and it might mislead observers about the change in facial shape. Anybody's face would look different with that drastic a change. He wouldn't wear it that way in Muggle territory, or he'd be a target for every local boy looking for a scrap, but it was perfectly fine for a wizard. He chuckled. 

"Hm?"

"Oh, I was just thinking a Muggle would find that feminine, but I don't, particularly. I've seen too many men walking around like that to retain the association."

"But you notice."

"As 'must not go into Muggle London looking like that,'" Harry said. 

"Huhn." Severus released the hair, causing it to tumble down in feathered sprays. "Well, you're not old enough to grow your hair, anyway."

"But shouldn't I?" Harry asked. "No one knows about you. The people who know about Sirius know that he's died. The Dursleys are dead. Shouldn't I be growing my hair?"

Severus shivered. "I suppose. It makes me feel unreal, though, or rejected, or doomed." 

"Oh. Well, I'll cut it, then."

"No -- no, leave it. You're right, and I'm being foolish. But pull it back in some way -- you look too much like me with it falling around your face."

"Shouldn't Draco be growing his hair, too?" Harry asked. 

Severus frowned. "Draco is in denial. He cuts his hair in acknowledgment of his father, believing Lucius will secure a release, somehow. It will not happen." 

Harry returned to studying his own face. He peered down at his feet and realized the pajamas, although he had extended them three weeks ago, left his ankles bare. 

"I'm sure I've changed since last week."

"This," Severus said dryly, "is one of the many problems with splitting your skull on the slates."

"Oh no!" Harry's eyes widened. _Blood loss._ "I swear, I didn't mean to. I hadn't realized it would be harder to control the fall when I was casting." 

"Why did you do that, though? What were you hoping to accomplish?"

"I wasn't; I just panicked. I hadn't expected them to have noticed I was gone, and wasn't prepared to put on an act. I'd been so open, all day, with the adder, and with you, and I was just ... I couldn't hurt her, that way."

Severus's expression soured. "You're going to plead with me for permission to tell them, again, aren't you?"

Harry shook his head. "No. At the moment, I wouldn't trust them with that." He sighed and told Severus about the map, including that one of the rooms on it was Severus's parlor. Severus, as Harry expected, went tight-lipped with offense at this news. Harry thought Ron was lucky to not be taking Potions. Whatever Hermione did on Thursday was certain to be found to be wrong. 

"Hermione had the gall to tell me she wants to finish it," Harry finished bitterly. "'It's such an interesting project!'" he mimicked. "I half want to burn the thing." 

"I recall," Severus said slowly, "seeing Sirius on the original map, going down to the Shrieking Shack."

Harry closed his eyes. Of all things he did not want to remember.... He found a core of anger, still, at Snape's behavior, that evening.

"Sorry to remind you. But I know the usefulness of it." 

Harry forced a nod. "It is very useful," he agreed. _I miss you, Sirius. You could be here, making my life even more of a divided mess, and I wouldn't mind at all._

"I think you should complete it."

"What? Why?" Indignation brought Harry's eyes open. "So I can spy on people?"

"So you can see if enemies are approaching the school. Even if you do no more in the castle, map the gardens by the entrance, the track from Hogsmeade, the secret tunnel, and the grounds between the Forbidden Forest and the school. Do that, and check it regularly for intruders, especially at sunset and lights out."

Harry hissed out a breath. "I don't want to work with them. Could I ask Remus to help me?"

Severus shook his head. "Harry, Lupin is a teacher. Don't lead him into things he cannot justify. Work with Weasley and Granger, but don't concede anything. Tell them they owe you." 

"I suppose." Harry didn't want to do that, either, but his opposition to that would be harder to explain. 

They moved back to the kitchen. Severus warmed his tea with a spell. 

"How are the spy devices coming?" Harry asked. 

"Not well." 

"How about the Squib drug?"

"The what?"

"The stuff you were giving to Avery?"

"Oh, yes. I told him I'd needed some for a project, and asked if he wanted the extra. He jumped at it. I was careful, though, to be slightly concerned and ask if he was sure he could handle it. I thought the amount I gave him would last two weeks if he was restless, five or more if he was careful. On Sunday, he came to see me and ask if I would make him more."

"Did you?"

"No, I was quite shocked, of course. I reminded him of the possible danger of becoming a squib, and said perhaps I better not. He offered me quite a lot of money, some interesting artifacts, and one of his house-elves, in turn. I told him perhaps, for the artifacts. I needed to consider. He is coming to see me tomorrow night."

"I see." 

 

They moved on to discussing Remus's insight into their failed drug deception. Harry acknowledged that parts of Muggle society were automatic to him, but others perplexed him. 

"Rather like Wizarding society. The problem is," he said, "I'm not likely to become any better at that until I'm out of school. What I really need is to be _in_ it, and school is such a controlled segment of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, clothes, for example. I'm used to school robes, now. But the things wizards and witches wear in Hogsmeade still make me want to stare. I only see them a few times a year. And I can't look at a wizard and say anything about his style.... If I look at a Muggle, I might think "businessman" or "artist" or "rebellious teenager" or "perfect Mummy's boy," but I have no idea of those things with wizards. I mean-- Malfoy, even I can tell Malfoy is _money,_ but anything more subtle than that and I'm lost."

"Obviously, the answer is to spend more time in mainstream society," Severus commented. "Just as obviously, that would be, at this time, suicidal."

"Right. And then there are social customs. Hermione read somewhere, recently, that short hair on an unmarried witch means she doesn't want to marry."

"Not necessarily that she is opposed," Severus warned. "Just that she is not soliciting offers."

"Which means all the rest are?" Harry yelped. 

"Women need husbands," Severus said complacently.

"No they don't!" Harry objected. 

Severus rolled his eyes. "Harry, really! If only long enough to have a child or two." 

"See, this is the weird thing. In some ways, Wizarding society seems really sexist. But in others-- I mean, I can tell from history, or even Chocolate Frogs cards, that more witches have been recognized for their abilities and contributions than Muggle women, and for longer, so in that way it is less sexist. I don't know what to make of it."

"Wizarding society is more family-oriented than Muggle society," Severus said pedantically. "It is important to have children. But we also live longer, so the part of your life devoted to having and raising children is less of a sacrifice. There is plenty of time later to be a scholar, a hunter, a merchant, an alchemist, a poet. Most reputable people have their family first."

"See, that didn't even occur to me. If I survive Voldemort, I could live into my hundreds, couldn't I?"

"It is not only possible, but likely." 

"But how do I learn these things? Other than one at a time, by making some embarrassing mistake? Hermione gets a bit from books, but I don't have the patience."

Severus thought. "Remus felt your lack of Muggle socialization had as much to do with your lack of exposure to stories as to your lack of interaction with non-kinsmen."

"Perhaps."

"Then perhaps you should read-- not sociology, but stories. Novels. Adventures, romances, stories of growing up. This will show you what these things mean to us." 

Harry considered that. He felt a flash of excitement. He had never seen a wizarding story-- he wondered what they were like. He had enjoyed Muggle books when he was in Muggle school-- the library was one of the few places Dudley did not dare attack him. 

Severus, meanwhile, was developing a noticeable smirk. "I suggest you avoid any comedies of manners," he noted slyly. "You would miss the humor and be further confused." 

"Is there anything like that in the library?" Harry asked. 

Severus gave a dismissive wave. "A few dull classics and morality tales. No, ask at the bookstore on Saturday."

Harry nodded. As Hermione had predicted, a Hogsmeade weekend had been announced Monday evening. He decided it would be fun to go into the bookstore for _stories._ In his own mind, it felt delightfully decadent and liberating.

"I'll do that," he said aloud. 

 

They talked a while longer, until Harry began to yawn, despite the tea. Severus drew a box about the size of a walnut from an inner pocket in his robes and handed it to Harry. 

"It contains a portkey," he said, "which will bring you here. That will be safer than walking down, but, as you won't be able to look ahead, use it only when we have arranged a time, or in the sort of emergency that obviously overrides such a restriction."

Harry nodded. "Thanks!"

"I intend to ask Dumbledore for a second, limited, portkey that will take you from here to your dormitory. I'd ask for Floo access to your common room, but your head of house would need to be informed. For now, however, I'm afraid you will need to walk, and risk the doors and other portals." 

"And Mrs. Norris."

"And Mrs. Norris."

Severus rose from his chair and stretched. Something in his back clicked audibly. 

"Sitting hunched over, again," he said. "Augustus would have scolded me."

"And Lucius?"

"Lucius lived long enough to give up." 

Harry rose also, compelled to his feet by Severus standing. 

"We both need some sleep," Severus said seriously.

"Should I go now, then?"

"In a moment. I have one more thing to give you, but it's in the parlor."

Curious, Harry followed his father back into the front room, and over to his desk. Severus pointed his wand at a small drawer and muttered a password, then reached over to open it. He drew out a folded parchment. Awkwardly, he thrust it toward Harry. 

"A copy of Lily's letter." His hands clenched. "I know you can bespell it to appear blank, but with such clever friends as you have, I would rather you left it in your room, here, if you wish to keep it." He stepped back. "I am... am going to get ready for bed. Perhaps you would like to take it to your room?"

Harry nodded. He couldn't think of any words. He wanted desperately to open the letter and read it on the spot, but he forced himself to walk calmly back to the kitchen and through it. 

In his room, a silver patch of moonlight shone on the wall beside the window. Harry sat down in the cool glow before calling light to the wall torches. Curled into the corner made by soft, warm drapes and hard, cold glass, he opened the letter and read. 

The first few paragraphs contained nothing he had not known, but all presented quickly, to someone to whom nothing need be explained. Then, his mother mentioned Sirius. 

 

> I request two things: first, do not separate him from his godfather, if they are now fond of each other. I know you do not approve of Sirius, but we chose him, in part, to be your balance. 

 

_Ouch. It's nice to know that they had a plan, but he wouldn't have liked reading that. 'Incidentally, we made someone you hate your son's godfather. We think he needs that.'_

 

> Second, I earnestly hope you do not regret a half-blood child, but if you do, send him from you quickly rather than subjecting him to the slow poison of your bile. Our Harry does not deserve that for your choice of women. 

 

_And that request, and the memories behind it, would have been far worse. Still, he can't blame her. I wish I could tell her how good he's been about it._

 

> Farewell, my beloved. It hurt to deceive you in this, which should have been my greatest gift to you. Cherish our son, and hold none of what I spun with James against him. 

 

_Oh!_ Harry felt himself redden. _Well, that made up for the last two items, I expect. I wonder if he would have tried as much without that?_

 

> I love you always, my obsidian blade, my shadow prince, my first love. If you love me still, treat Harry kindly.
> 
> Charms draw the shades of night around our kisses  
>  and the wind bear our amorous cries unheard to heaven
> 
> Lily

 

The letter ended with a little sketch of a daylily, like the one on Harry's own. _And she did love him._ Somehow, that made a difference. Harry felt as much relief as embarrassment flood through him at the intimacy of the last lines. 

He stared at the paper a while, until he noticed that he was denting the edges with his grip. He knew it was just a copy, but still, he smoothed out the paper, and stroked it against his cheek. 

"Love you, Mum," he whispered. 

He opened the drawer on his bedside table and put away the letter. The sight of four vials of bubble stuff reminded him that he might have need for a couple of Calming Draughts soon, and he pocketed two of them before closing the drawer. 

Severus was in the bathroom when Harry got out to the parlor. Harry suspected that his father would be as awkward attempting to say good night as he would be, after he had read that letter. He called the words softly, at a volume Severus could claim not to have heard, threw on his cloak, and left. 

 


	52. Courting Harry

 

Ron woke, frozen in both body and thought. He hugged the covers around him and sorted slowly through his sense of dread, to remember what he had dreamed. He had seen Harry, in a moonlit clearing, with some other people, but surrounded by werewolves. Harry had his broom, but didn't want to leave his companions. In the dream, Ron had known the attacking creatures were werewolves, not natural wolves, though he couldn't remember the differences. These were not Lupin, with Wolfsbane Potion; these were the monsters of childhood tales. 

Ron had a fear of bad dreams that went beyond the normal dread. Sometimes his dreams came true, or close to it. He never told anyone this: He didn't want to seem barmy, or a faker like Trelawny, but he knew it. He rationalized that perhaps it was normal-- everyone dreamed every night-- some dreams were bound to be close to right, and he'd remember those ones better. Still, he needed, desperately, to see Harry; to see that he was whole, breathing, and not covered in blood and contagious saliva. 

Ron sat up. Moonlight was streaming in the window, but he didn't think the moon was full, yet. Later in the week, perhaps? He stood, unsteadily, and walked to the window. The moon was declining in the sky for tonight, and not yet at full. _Two or three days away,_ he thought. 

That meant, he knew, that he didn't need to check on Harry. If the dream came true, it would need to be at a full moon. Despite this reasoned line of thought, the dark fear continued to gnaw at him. 

Tentatively, Ron reached for Harry's curtains. He would just peek, he told himself, then he could go back to sleep. Slowly, he lifted the curtain. He couldn't see any of Harry. He lifted it more. Finally, he surrendered to the fear, held out his wand, and called " _Lumos._ " The bed was empty. 

 

Ron waited. He'd thought, after a while, to check the clock, and found it was two a.m. Shortly before three a.m., he finally heard the soft click of the door being cautiously opened.

Ron lay still. He waited for Harry to reach his bed and extend a hand for the curtains. 

"Hi," he said. 

Harry froze. "Hi, Ron," he said. 

"I had a nightmare about you. You were being attacked by werewolves. I haven't been able to sleep."

"I was just out visiting." 

"Okay." Ron took a deep breath. "I'm glad you're okay. I won't tell, or anything."

"Fuck off."

"I mean it," Ron said. "Not even Hermione. I won't."

Harry did not reply. 

 

Harry dragged himself to Potions from sheer will. He combed his hair and washed his face only out of fear of what Draco would do if he did not. 

"Are you well?" Draco asked, with surprising concern, when Harry slumped forward onto the tabletop. 

"Just tired," Harry replied. 

"Up doing something you shouldn't?" Draco asked, his voice laced with a more familiar mocking tone.

"Not much," Harry replied vaguely. He was saved from further questioning by the entrance of Snape. His father looked tired, but not unreasonably so. Harry wondered if he handled it better from experience, or through the assistance of potions. 

 

Harry ignored Ron and Hermione in Defense, and sat with Colin Creevey at lunch. Colin confided in Harry about his campaign to win over Lavender Brown. He said she still didn't like _him,_ but she was starting to like some of his photographs. He thought she might be impressed by his professional potential. After all, a smashing girl like that needed to narrow the field a bit. She couldn't be expected to go out with just anybody. Colin, though, could prove his worth. He was sure of it. Harry nodded, looked sympathetic or encouraging, as the conversational turns demanded, and was inwardly grateful that all this relentless attention was now focused on someone else.

 

While Harry was walking down to Hagrid's, Hedwig swooped up to him with a letter that appeared to have spent several hours in the Owlery. Harry supposed she had tried to deliver it at breakfast, then just taken it  with her when that failed. He praised and petted her, cast a quick cleaning spell on the parchment, and opened it.

 

> Dear Harry,
> 
> This is not the letter, just the map. You know what to do.
> 
> All hail the mischief mastery of MWP&P!
> 
> Fred and George

 

Harry stared at the message for a bit. _The map? There isn't a map! It's a nearly blank--_ The thought brought Harry up short. MWP&P -- Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. _Bloody wonderful._

After glancing around to see that no one was near, he took out his wand and tapped the letter. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The password made him shiver in a way it never had before. 

The letter before him shimmered and shifted, and was replaced by a much longer one. 

 

> Dear Harry,
> 
> Pardon the subterfuge, but your request sounded a bit dodgy. Please tell us how we might obtain the requested items, whether or not they are illegal in that world or ours, whether or not we will get in trouble if found with them at Hogwarts, and who you expect to take them from you. Some idea of fiscal outlay would also be appreciated, so we don't look like simpletons when making the purchase.
> 
> We have no objection to supplying contraband, you understand, but we would like to know what precautions to take. 
> 
> Warm regards, 
> 
> Gred and Forge

 

Harry tapped the parchment again. "Mischief managed," he said automatically, and the first letter reasserted itself. He tucked it into his pocket and continued down to Hagrid's place. 

 

Ron and Hermione attempted to speak to him before Care of Magical Creatures. Harry stalked off and partnered with Susan Bones. Hermione focused fiercely on the lesson; Ron spent most of it looking at the muddy grass. 

After class, Harry was prepared to push them away, again, but they left quickly and without comment. He stared after them. 

"Are you all right?" Susan asked. 

Harry looked at her, smiled, and shook his head. "Too bad you're not in Defense Against the Dark Arts," he said lightly. "I expect we've been very entertaining, this year." 

"Can I help?"

"Thanks, but I can't think of anything you could do." 

Still, he let his pace match hers as they walked back to the school. It was nice to have someone beside him. Near the school, she spoke again.

"Have you considered continuing the D.A., Harry? Mother would let me be part of that if it wasn't taught by Professor Lupin." 

"Professor Lupin is a good man."

"I know!" Susan protested, frustration clear in her voice. "But my parents have never met any werewolves, and they think I'm just naive."

Harry grinned at her. "And how do they _know_ they've never met a werewolf?" he asked. 

Susan coughed. "Er..."

"Perhaps it would be a good supplement. But I'd like to have Dumbledore's permission, and Professor Lupin's. I think he'd understand about staying out of it-- he was disappointed you were kept out of his class and said he hoped you would manage to keep up without it. The D.A. would give you a way to do that." He sighed. "But since I'm not speaking to Hermione, now ...."

"Would you for business? I mean, even if you're not friends, you should be able to work together, right? My mother hates some of her coworkers, but she works with them, anyway. That's something we'll all need to be able to do, in the real world." 

"I suppose." Harry shrugged. "Let me talk to the headmaster, okay? I'll let you know."

 

As Harry didn't have anything else to do, he went immediately to Dumbledore's office. The password was Sugar Quills, and the headmaster was in his office when Harry got there. Fawkes trilled a greeting when Harry entered.

"Good afternoon, Harry," Dumbledore said brightly. "Did you recover from your accident?"

"Yes, thank you," Harry answered. He managed not to add any information. "Sir, I have a question."

Dumbledore looked at him with his customary amusement. "Perhaps you should ask it," he suggested lightly. 

Harry restrained both amusement and irritation. "Susan Bones wanted me to restart the DA. Would that be all right with you? If Professor Lupin doesn't mind?"

"Would you want him as an advisor?"

"No, sir. Well, _I_ would," Harry admitted, "but the point is to have training for students who are not allowed to study with him."

Dumbledore nodded soberly. "An unfortunate need, but I recognize it. I would be quite pleased for you to restart the group, Harry. It can be an official student organization, this time."

"Should we change the name?"

Dumbledore smiled. "The D. A.," he mused. "Shall we say 'Defense Association?' Only if someone asks, of course." 

Harry grinned. "Good enough." He bit his lip. "Any news on my custody hearing, Professor?"

"No. I will not have any news until after it concludes."

"Am I going with you?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "Quite honestly, Harry, it will not be worth missing a day of classes. No one will listen to you. Also, I am concerned about your appearance."

"No one here has said anything."

"True, but they see you every day. Fudge has no intermediate stages to distract him, and news photographs are a greater danger than Fudge. I can put a glamour over you, if he visits, but the council room has wards against such things."

"Oh."  Harry took a deep breath. "Fine. Do you really think I'm safe if he becomes my temporary guardian?"

"Fudge is a consummate politician. He will not tip his hand before his position is secure. The most you need fear is embarrassment, and perhaps a stressful visit, or two." 

Harry nodded. "All right, then." 

"Is there anything else I can help you with, Harry?"

Rather than immediately saying "no" and making good his escape, Harry gave the matter some thought. 

"Well, yes, really," he said. "I'm a bit confused about the distinction between Dark Arts and Soul Arts, if there is one. Severus says anything that uses the soul is Dark Arts and dangerous, though some of it is legal, but wouldn't that include the Patronus spell?"

"Severus is young," Dumbledore said complacently. "All of these things are Soul Arts. Properly, the term Dark Arts refers -- or formerly referred -- only to those that were destructive either to the target or the caster. Unfortunately, the second is not always clear. In 1946, the international community met to try to codify which Soul Arts would not be considered Dark Arts. The Patronus Charm was never in question. It  requires no negative emotion, has no ill effects on the caster, and merely repels the target. Some other spells were harder to categorize. For example, there are healing spells that leave the caster less able to cause harm. This can be categorized as a 'good' side effect, but if the healer is attacked, it can be distinctly bad. The Fidelius charm, as another example, does not harm the target -- who must be willing, in any case -- but it enhances the caster's trust of him." Dumbledore paused a moment to let Harry absorb this. Harry shuddered. 

"In some cases, this can be an ill effect, however we did not consider it sufficiently so to classify the spell as Dark Arts. In a third category are spells such as the Binding Oath. That damages the perceptions of both caster and target, and certainly should have been classified as Dark Arts, but such a classification would have been inconvenient for the lawmakers, so it escaped it."

"But if there are all these exceptions...."

"There are very few exceptions, Harry. At the end, it was less than three percent of the spells we had considered -- but they are, of course, ones you are more likely to have encountered." 

 

When Harry went back to Gryffindor, he didn't see Ron and Hermione in the common room. As soon as he sat, however, they appeared from the stairs and came over to sit in the adjoining chairs. 

"Have I not been clear?" Harry asked bitingly. "Fuck off."

Ron spilled out a bag of sweets on the table in front of him-- Chocolate Frogs and Fizzing Whizbees, ice mice, and some licorice snakes that Harry had never seen before, which writhed convincingly in a fragrant tangle. 

"I'm supposed to forgive you for sweets?" Harry asked indignantly. 

"I sneaked off the school grounds to get you chocolate," Hermione answered, at a bare whisper. "As penance. I'm sorry. I got carried away with my research; you know I do."

"Even if it means betraying me." Harry said harshly.

"Harry, that's not fair! I know you're hurt, but it's not like you've been honest with us."

"That's not the point," Harry protested.

"It is! If you lie to upset me, you have some responsibility for the consequences! You managed it, didn't you?" she demanded. "You upset me -- you frightened me -- and I did anything I could think of."

"You don't have some intrinsic right to my life!" Harry shouted. 

"And I am not your toy!" Hermione yelled back. "Do you understand what you've been putting me through? I missed two points on my Arithmancy quiz last week! My Clarification Potion had the same side effects as everyone else's, because I hadn't done the supplemental reading. I've been spending all my time worrying about you! I don't want to lose you to some stupid _thing!_ "

Harry felt a smidgen of sympathy. Not only had Hermione not got perfect marks on a test, but she hadn't even moaned about it, at the time. Still.... "Perhaps you should have spent some of that time talking to me," he said pointedly.

"Every time I tried, it just went all wrong."

Harry surrendered. "Yeah," he said. "On my end, too."  

The rest of the room, he realized, was silent and staring at them. 

"All right," he said, deliberately taking a Chocolate Frog from the pile of sweets. "Give me a day to calm down and think it over. We can talk tomorrow, after Quidditch practice." 

 

Harry went up to his dormitory, ate sweets until he felt queasy, and tried to think. Severus wanted him to work on the map. Professor Dumbledore wanted him to revive the D.A.. These things would be far easier with Hermione. Ron didn't matter to his goals as much, but, he found, he wasn't as angry with Ron. Remus thought he shouldn't be so angry with Hermione -- that he had manipulated her in a way that would guarantee ill behavior. 

He decided he would offer a truce, though not forgiveness. He needed them as allies; they wanted his company. If he gave them that, he might relax into forgiveness over time, and then they would all be happier. 

He thought about Hermione and Ron sneaking into Hogsmeade, and had to laugh. Even if they had gone no further than the cellar of Honeydukes, it was most unlike Hermione. 

All of a sudden, he found he _wanted_ to hear Hermione talk about the map. She would speak with that blinkered fascination, as if it was all an academic exercise, and she would make it interesting. 

Harry released a Chocolate Frog and grabbed it. He bit off its head and felt it stop squirming. He remembered he had eaten too many sweets, but swallowed, anyway. All right, then. He'd talk to them, and strike a bargain. For the common good. 

 

**********

 

When Harry swept up the sweets like his due tribute and took them and his books upstairs, the common room's attention narrowed to Hermione and Ron. 

"Run away?" Hermione suggested. 

"Good idea," Ron agreed. 

They left Gryffindor and started down the stairs. 

"Do we have someplace to go?" Ron asked. 

"I've been thinking," Hermione replied, "and we got so distracted, we never researched that charm -- the one Harry wrote about?" She hoped that Ron picked up on her deliberate vagueness. "We should do that."

Ron nodded. "I think he may have changed more," he said.

Hermione nodded. "Ginny noticed that on Saturday night. I want to know if that's normal, and how long it will go on." 

"I want to know who the man was," Ron said fiercely. "If he's still alive, I'll kill him."

"Harry might not like that." 

"Don't you think he'll want revenge for his mum?"

"We don't know what happened," Hermione pointed out. "If she was willing, it's not his fault." 

"My mum talks about Lily," Ron said stubbornly. "She says Lily was head-over-heels for James. If--"

"We're saying too much," Hermione interrupted, at a fierce whisper. " _This_ is why he isn't supposed to tell us. Quiet, now." 

"No one's listening--"

"Probably." 

Ron hesitated, and looked up and down the great stairs, with halls branching off them. He bit his lip, then nodded. 

"Let's go." 

 

Their library search was hampered by secrecy. Hermione, without the option of asking Madam Pince for direction, built a great pile of hefty grimoires, and cast her Indexing Charm on book after book. Ron, meanwhile, decided to look for pictures of Voldemort, to see if he might be Harry's father.

He went to the archives of the Daily Prophet, and pulled out the first three volumes of 1980 issues. He did not need to search long. The first Sunday paper he reached was headed by 

 

**Lord Voldemort Speaks to Pro-PoWCA Rally**

 

The picture underneath showed an intense, serious man leaning off a low platform to extend his hand to the nearest members of a milling, chanting crowd. The people jostled and pushed and stretched to touch him.

"Holy fuck," Ron breathed. Hermione slammed a book shut. 

"Ron! What is it with you and Harry, this year?"

"Look," Ron said. "It's Voldemort. In his first body." 

He pushed the book over at her.  She frowned at the picture. "His hair is curlier than Harry's was," she said, "but his face is a lot like ... James's."

"Forget that!" Ron exclaimed. "Look at that crowd. They're mad for him!" 

Hermione snorted. "You didn't think he got all his power from terrorizing people, did you?" 

Ron blinked. Hermione sighed. "You did," she guessed. 

"Well, yeah."

"Actually, he was very popular. As were most of his proposals." 

"So what was powca?"

"I don't know." Hermione scanned the article. "Ah. The 'Protection of Wizarding Culture Act.' This has some details. Um... ban the sale of all Muggle novelties, require six months of cultural education for Muggle-born partners who wish to apply for a marriage license to a wizard or witch, ban Muggle and Muggle-born partners from sole custody, even on a temporary basis, of any child with magical abilities, ban the hiring of Muggle-borns from any position working with children, including, but not limited to, teaching, entertaining, nanny duties, the creation or sale of school texts, children's books--" Hermione's voice, which had been growing higher, finally failed in a squeak. "This is disgusting!" she choked.

Ron had come around the table to look over her shoulder. "They love him," he said. "Look at them push! And he looks so ... so reasonable. Concerned."

"Concerned about people like me _talking_ to wizarding children!"

"Shhh, Hermione. It's over."

"But it's not!" 

"But he's not like that, now. If he showed his face at a rally, people would scream and run, and Aurors would descend in droves."

"Would they?" Hermione demanded. She shivered. "I'm not so sure." She sighed and pushed the book away. She whispered a spell to her wand, and used it to write on the desk. " _He looks more like Harry used to than like Harry does now._ "

Ron, who wasn't certain how to make temporary marks with his wand, tore a scrap of parchment. _"Perhaps his hair got curly and he overdid straightening it?"_ he wrote back.

Hermione's first words vanished, and she quickly replaced them with " _no, it's the lips and the sides of the face, as well._ "

" _Not Voldemort, then,_ " Ron wrote. 

"Good," Hermione answered out loud. "Now I need to get back to work." 

Ten minutes before the library closed, Hermione interrupted Ron's horrified perusal of old newspapers. "Help me put these things away," she said. 

"Find anything?" he asked. 

"Later." 

 

A few floors up from the library, she led Ron into an empty room and cast a silencing charm on the door. 

"What did you find?" Ron asked. "Would he change that way?"

"I don't know. What I did find out is that the Paternity Charm is blood magic, and it must be cast by the mother. We'll need to look in the Restricted Section."

"Blood magic?" Ron gasped. "But that's Dark Arts! Lily...!" 

"Look, we could be wrong about the whole Paternity Charm thing. Perhaps it was just a joke. Or perhaps Lily wasn't as perfect as you think." 

"Perhaps Lily wasn't his mother! He might not be Harry Potter at all. He may have been switched for him at birth, to protect the real--"

"Ron!" Hermione bellowed. For a moment, she managed to sound rather like Ron's mother. He fell immediately silent. "Let's stick with simple theories, for now," she said sweetly. "And one at a time." 

"All right," Ron agreed. 

 

**********

 

Harry woke up Thursday morning feeling unusually cheerful. After a  moment's reflection, he remembered that he had decided to associate with Ron and Hermione again, but not until the afternoon. He left a Chocolate Frog on Ron's pillow, anyway, and went down to breakfast early. He decided to bring the letter he had written to Fred and George. Sometimes Hedwig showed up angling for treats. If that happened, he would give it to her then, and if not, he'd bring it up to the Owlery before lunch. 

Halfway down the stairs, he stopped to review it. 

 

> Dear Forge and Gred,
> 
> In the Muggle world, I could legally buy these, as I am sixteen. You shouldn't let on that you're getting them for someone else, though, as the shopkeeper may think you are buying them for someone younger than that, which would be illegal.
> 
> I don't think they are illegal in the Wizarding world, either. I've been told a reputable apothecary wouldn't sell me that much straight smoking tobacco, but that was presented as a matter of social mores, not law. You'd know better than I would, I suppose. 
> 
> I don't know of any Hogwarts rule against cigarettes, but Snape took all that I had and told me he'd give me detentions if he caught me with them again, and Hermione disapproves so much that she would probably go fetch him to do it. I doubt you'd get into hot water. 

 

Harry frowned at that, feeling rather strange. If he started smoking, again, he wanted Hermione to know, and to see him, and to know she had lost all influence over him, but it would be unpleasant if Severus found out, and it was likely Hermione would tell, as he had written. He shrugged. He could just keep them in his drawer, for when he decided what he wanted most. 

From there, he had written a very detailed description of where and how to purchase cigarettes at the corner shop near Diagon Alley. He had signed the letter with "your good, steady Seeker, Harry" which still made him smile. 

 

Quidditch practice was right after classes, and went well. Harry transfigured a small stick into a hair clip, and pulled his front hair back before heading out onto the pitch. It took him a few tries to get it even. The weather was beautiful with warm sun, a soft breeze, and a flawless, vivid blue sky. Harry smiled spontaneously at Ron, who perked up noticeably in response. Harry arranged drills and gave advice, to compensate for his last, passive practice. Ginny smiled at him. 

Afterwards, Ron waited for him in the changing rooms. 

"Hermione said she'd be in the library. Shall we go get her?"

Harry nodded. "I should talk to both of you," he said. 

"Harry... I really am sorry. I didn't realize it would upset you so much, but now that I think about it, I can understand why it does."

Harry shrugged. "You're treating me like we've always treated anyone we don't trust," he said. "Not that that makes it better. I just feel belatedly ashamed, as well as pissed off." 

Ron didn't seem to know what to say to that, but Harry had felt his feelings fall into place as he described them, and it calmed him to be able to explain how he felt. He walked willingly with Ron to the library. He wasn't even too annoyed when the hairclip changed back into a stick, halfway there. 

 

They found Hermione in the archive room, looking at the photographs. Harry flinched when he saw them. He really had intended to tell Severus more about the photographs, but it never came up. Perhaps, he thought, he should just go through them himself and steal the significant ones. 

"Oh -- we need to show you pictures!" Ron exclaimed. "We've been putting aside ones of your parents, and of Sirius."

"Thanks," Harry said, "but I'm not really in the mood now. Let's talk and get dinner." 

"Can we show you after?" Ron asked. 

"That depends." 

Ron looked down guiltily and nodded. 

"Before we go," Hermione said eagerly, "I figured out who "Sev" is. 

Harry froze. 

"I found another picture." Hermione pushed it across the table. "Professor Snape -- Severus Snape. Can you believe that?"

Harry and Ron looked down at the picture. In this one the black-haired boy had his face visible, and he was scowling. Between the expression and the nose, it was clearly Severus, but his hair and face were clean. He was scowling at the brown-haired boy, who had a notebook that he was dangling teasingly. Remus darted here and there, evading Severus's attempts to grab the notebook. For a moment, Severus paused and grinned, then his attacks resumed. 

"That's Snape?!" Ron asked incredulously. 

"It certainly looks like him."

"No it doesn't! And he's playing!" 

"I think it does. Oh!" Hermione dropped her voice conspiratorially. "He showed up to class today with his hair clean and brushed. I nearly fainted!"

"Can we go?" Harry asked sharply.

Hermione nodded and put the photo at the back of the pile, then put the box behind the bound copies of the Daily Prophet. Harry noted that it was the 1965-1975 shelf. "Let's go," she said. 

 

Harry led them from the library to an empty classroom. Once they were inside, he warded the door with privacy spells. 

"So," Hermione said awkwardly. "Is there a big secret?"

"What?"

"The spells."

"Oh. No, I just do that, now." Harry laughed. "I lock everything, I protect my conversations. Habit." 

"Have you decided if you're forgiving us, or not?" Hermione asked shakily.

"I..." Harry spent a moment arranging his words. "I will associate with you --"

"Big of you," Ron said.

"Sorry, but that-- I'll need some time to really forgive you, I think." 

"So what can we do?" Hermione demanded.

Harry took a deep breath. "I want to finish part of the map."

"Oh, so you're not above spying," Ron said.

"Unlike certain people, I am not planning to spy on my friends, or even on specific individuals. I want to watch certain places."

"Which ones?"

"The tunnels. The path from Hogsmeade. The grounds between the castle and the forest."

Ron and Hermione looked at each other. 

"Well, that's a problem," Hermione said.

"Why?"

"We never figured out how to do outside. I didn't put a lot of time into it -- we've mostly been worrying about locked rooms, and public places, like the library. The Marauders had Peter, you see, and James had the cloak, so they could get Peter into places and James nearby to do the charms. I was thinking of getting a rat and trying to control it, but Ron doesn't want a rat. We need something small and strong, though, that can fit in tight spaces --"

"A ferret," Harry said.

"What?" Hermione looked puzzled for a second, then smiled suddenly. "That's perfect! Ron, we'll get a ferret." 

"I am not getting a _ferret,_ " Ron said in horror.

"But you have to! I can't keep a second animal -- Lavender would tell! Your roommates won't."

"If somebody locks their room, perhaps you shouldn't map it," Harry said pointedly. 

"Some map that would be!" Ron answered in disgust. "The Marauders mapped everything."

"Well I won't have anything to do with it! The defensive perimeter. That's it." 

"I'll try to find a way," Hermione promised. 

"Let's speak to Remus," Harry said. "After dinner." 

 

"What do you know about blood magic?" Hermione asked, as they started down the stairs. Harry stopped short. 

"Blood magic?" He stared at her. "Why would _you_ want to know about blood magic?"

"I'll consider that a 'yes,'" Hermione said tartly. "So. Explain it to me."

"Well, it's not a precise term. There are two different things called that. Which one do you want to know about?"

"I don't know."

"Oh," Harry relaxed noticeably. "You saw the term somewhere you didn't expect?"

"Yes."

"Ah. Well, first, it's a term for magic based on kin or ancestry --  'blood' in the sense of 'pureblood.' Second, and more commonly, it's the collective name for all charms, hexes, and potions that require human blood."

"Those are all Dark Arts, right?"

"No," Harry said firmly. Ron, who had been looking at his feet, snapped his head up at that. 

"Yes, they are," he said.

"All potions using human blood are _illegal,_ " Harry said. "All charms and hexes using blood of a human other than the caster are _illegal._ Only about three-quarters of them qualify as Dark Arts, and blood magic, as a classification, was not made illegal until December 1981."

"After Voldemort's fall?" Hermione guessed. 

"Right. It was a convenience. A number of items frequently associated with Dark Arts were made illegal at that time, to make it easier to arrest known, but unconvictable, Death Eaters. These restrictions, including blood magic, were part of the 'Dark Arts Components Act' of 1981. It was somewhat effective, but a number of useful spells were thrown out with the bathwater. Dumbledore speculates that the act will be repealed by the time our children are in school, and we'll be being asked about spells our parents knew, but we've never heard of." He hesitated. "Well, not your parents, Hermione, but you know what I mean." 

Hermione started back down the stairs. "So at the time you were born, blood magic was legal?"

"Some of it. Of course, a lot of the things you can do with blood, you can also do with other bodily fluids. Ron, there was an item your brothers originally made with blood; I explained to them that they could do it with ... something else." Harry reddened. 

"Something you can't tell me about?"

"Something I shouldn't mention in front of Hermione."

"Oh really!" Hermione snapped. "Don't be so childish."

Harry rolled his eyes. "Semen," he said.

Hermione giggled. Ron turned rather green. "Tell me what item," he begged.

"But that's _legal,_ Ron," Harry said cruelly. Hermione giggled more. 

"Harry!" Ron insisted. "Tell me!" 

"No. What you don't know won't hurt you." 

 

As soon as they sat down at the Gryffindor table, Hermione nudged Harry and pointed out Snape. "Doesn't he look good?" she asked Harry. "He still needs to fix the teeth, but...." While she did the same to Ron, Harry watched Severus. He was cleaned up, as much as at the time Harry had requested it. Harry saw him exchange words with Remus. Remus looked amused for a moment, then slumped, again. Harry thought this must be an awfully rough moon. 

"He's still ugly," Ron said suddenly. Harry looked over. Ron was glaring at Hermione. 

"Well, I think he looks quite good."

"He's still ugly, and he still looks like some sort of foreigner."

Involuntarily, Harry flinched. Hermione met his eyes. For a moment, they just gazed at each other in shared dismay, then Hermione turned on Ron. 

"You watch yourself," she said. "If we weren't at dinner, I'd slap you for that." 

"What?" Ron asked, perplexed.

"The world does not center on Britain," Hermione said angrily. "If your definition of beauty is 'looks like someone from my home town,' you need to get a clue."

"But you don't look like my sort at all," Ron said, bewildered, "and you look fine." 

"Imagine!" Hermione exclaimed. "And me from three shires away!" 

Ron looked helplessly at Harry. Harry looked steadily back. "Watch it with the 'foreigners' comments," he advised. "Two of your brothers put up with this every day. Try talking to them."  

Ron gave an exasperated shrug. "But he's still ugly," he insisted.

 

After dinner, they went up to Professor Lupin's rooms. Harry took the lead and knocked. Remus opened the door slowly, and looked at them in surprise. 

"Is it important?" he asked. 

Harry appraised him quickly. Remus, as he might expect on the night before the full moon, looked tired and slightly ill, but Harry had seen him look worse and welcome visitors. 

"We wanted to ask some questions about the map," he said.

Remus frowned. "Come in for a moment," he said. "Please don't get comfortable. I haven't time." As soon as he had shut the door behind them, he asked, "What?"" 

"I wanted to map the approaches to the castle," Harry said quickly. "The tunnels, the path from Hogsmeade, and the grounds down to the Forbidden Forest." 

Remus brightened. "An excellent idea," he said. "Will you map _all_ the tunnels?"

"All the open ones," Harry said.

"Why?" Remus asked. 

"Why the tunnels?" Harry puzzled. 

"No, why only the open ones!" Hermione guessed. "You think we should mapped the collapsed tunnels, professor?"

Remus beamed. "It would be more thorough."

"Of course," Hermione agreed. "It's easier to excavate a cave-in than to dig a new tunnel." 

"Exactly."

"But we haven't worked out how to do outdoors," Hermione said quickly. "I'm certain we're not doing this the way you did it." 

"I see." Remus frowned. "Come and speak to me on Monday," he suggested. "I should be feeling better, by then. You have the tunnels to do in the meantime."

"But, Remus...!" Harry complained. Something bumped against the window. Harry saw a flutter of wings in the dark. 

"Go now," Remus said. "I can't help you until after the moon." He walked over to the window. "Go!" he insisted. "Please."

Harry, numbly, opened the door. Behind him, he heard the soft hoot of a settling owl. Harry gestured Ron and Hermione out into the hallway, but he glanced back as he moved to close the door behind them. Remus was holding a letter. His eyes were closed tight. 

 

Harry was too preoccupied with concern for Remus to attend to anything else. It was only when they arrived at the doors of the library that he realized he had agreed to return there. Hermione and Ron led him back to the archive room and pulled out the photograph box, then took their collection of Potter photographs from the back of it. 

"I think that's your mum," Ron said cheerily, handing the top photo from their stash to Harry. 

Harry nodded agreement. Lily, even at fourteen or fifteen, was recognizable. He looked at her fiery hair and smiled. 

"If she was wizard-born, I'd think she was related to you, Ron." 

"Like we're the only redhead wizards in Britain!" Ron said scornfully. "My parents aren't even related, hardly."

Hermione blinked at him. "Hardly?" she asked. 

Harry snorted. "All pureblood wizards in Britain are related, as far as I can tell."

"Six generations back, two ways, but no more than that, because Dad's mum's parents were Irish, see?" Ron said. He spoke quickly, not as if he wanted to avoid the subject, but as if it was so boring and common as to not require more than a sparse outline. Hermione still looked stunned. Harry caught her eye and shook his head, slightly. 

"Well there!" he said, instead. "Obviously, we need more foreigners, or more Muggle-borns, or both." 

Ron shrugged. "I suppose. I'll look for someone I like who can put up with me. The rest will happen or not." 

The reply was so ingenuously wholesome that Harry felt unaccountably ashamed. He covered it by picking up the next photo. It was down by the lake on a windy day. James and Sirius were facing off with wands, while Peter watched eagerly. Remus was also watching, but rather lazily, from the branch of a tree in the background. The duel seemed to be a friendly one. Sirius went down in a tangle of vines, and Remus swung gracefully down from the tree. Harry guessed he was calling a hold as he came, because James put up his wand and smiled disarmingly at him. 

The next picture had James playing with a Snitch, and Harry hurriedly moved on to the next one. Ron frowned and picked up the discarded paragraph. 

"I thought this was a cool one. Did you see what he was doing?"

"Yes, I saw," Harry said, unable to keep the anger from his voice. "I don't want to see any more of it." 

"Harry?" Hermione questioned. "Are you all right?"

Harry looked down at the table, and tried to think what to say. This left him staring at the next picture, in which Lily leaned back into James's arms. They both had foolish, loving smiles. James wasn't fussing with his own hair, now, but stroking hers. Harry liked him a lot better that way. 

"I saw him -- my Dad -- doing that in someone's memory, once. With the Snitch, I mean. He was also being cruel to someone who couldn't defend himself. He was bullying to entertain Sirius."

"Saw?" Ron asked. "In a vision?"

"No. A pensieve. And I asked Sirius about it, and he just said they were young." 

"I expect that would be upsetting," Hermione said carefully. 

Harry nodded. He picked up the next picture. This one was just of Lily. She laughed and spun in the sunlight. An emerald ring glinted on her finger. 

A sense of dread settled on Harry. Why had he ever told them the ring was an engagement ring? If they looked at enough of the pictures to realize she hadn't liked James when she was wearing it.... He slipped the picture in his bag. "I'm taking this one." 

"You can't do that!"

"Yes I can. I don't think these pictures should be here, anyway. It's not right." 

"Harry -- Muggle schools keep books of pictures of their students."

"Yes, but they're Muggle pictures! And the students know they're there. Remus had no idea that first picture had ended up somewhere public." 

Ron had picked up the next picture. He put it down without showing it to Harry.

"What is it?" Harry asked. 

"More of your dad playing with the Snitch." Ron hesitated. "If Sirius said.... Is that why you thought Malfoy might be worthwhile? Because he and Sirius turned out okay?"

Harry kept himself from saying that he didn't know that they had; he didn't remember James, and he'd never seen Sirius with the leeway to behave as he pleased. He shrugged. "That they were alike in a lot of ways. James Potter was Draco Malfoy without Dark Arts and blood bigotry." 

Ron snorted. "What's left?"

"Arrogance, vanity..." Harry caught himself and smiled. "Or perhaps we'll say 'self-confidence and charm.' Rich spoiled children who were given everything they wanted, including playmates, and came to school with no idea how to behave outside their fathers' manors." He shrugged. "Sirius, now -- he had worse influences to deal with. Remus seems to have been the good one -- their Hermione, if you will, Hermione -- and I can't help thinking of Peter as a twisted Colin."

"So which of us is your dad and which Sirius?" Ron asked wryly. Harry couldn't help thinking this was the first time they had really talked about Sirius since his death, and it was a very odd conversation for that.

"We don't pair off with them. We were both raised without the benefit or damages of money -- though I, technically, have it, I didn't know. I have reason to be far more of a bastard than I am, so you could pair me with Sirius for that, but he was the muscle in that gang, which I've never been, and, really, you're not either."

Ron nodded grimly. "Miss him?" he asked. 

Harry closed his eyes. "Oh god," he breathed. 

A hand settled on his arm, and he jerked away, knocking over his chair, before it registered that this was someone being comforting. Hermione, he decided, from the way she sat, frozen with her hand extended. Harry scooped the chair off the ground before it settled from clattering down. 

"Sorry!" they said, simultaneously. 

"You probably shouldn't touch me when my eyes are closed," Harry added. "I might hex you." 

"At least Lupin's back," Ron tried. 

Harry shook his head. "I can't -- He's told me not to be alone with him."

Ron and Hermione looked at each other. Hermione gestured incomprehension.

"Why?" Ron demanded. 

"He won't say."

"Does he want ... I mean, is it what we joked about?" Ron asked nervously. 

"No, I think it's something about the werewolves." 

Hermione extended her hand, then paused. She carefully met Harry's eyes before lowering her hand onto the back of his. 

"May I assume that your summer was horrible for more reasons than the Dursleys?"

Harry bit his lip and nodded. He desperately wanted to drag her off to somewhere private and tell her everything. 

"Yeah," he choked. "I mean ... there were good parts, too, but I can't tell you about those, either." He turned his hand over and gripped hers. "This isn't permanent," he said pleadingly. "I think I can tell you everything after Christmas, at the latest." 

"Okay. I'll wait." She looked at him anxiously. "Will you be okay for that long?"

Harry shrugged slightly. "I don't have much choice, so I suppose I'll have to be." 

He let go of her hand, and reached for the photographs. "Let's look at more of these."

 


	53. An Incriminating Photograph

Friday morning, Harry caught Ginny in the common room. 

"Ginny?" 

"Good morning!"

"Would you lend me a hair slide?"

Ginny giggled. "'Course. What size?"

"Um..." Harry ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it into position. "Like that?"

Ginny went to her tiptoes to look at the top of his head. "I've got a plain one that would do."

"Plain is good."

She giggled again, and rolled her eyes. "Men!" she said, and darted off. 

She came back a few minutes later with a wood-backed hair slide. Zoë was with her. "Try this."

"Thanks." Harry smiled gratefully at her. "I'll buy one this weekend."

"Buy more than one. They get lost." 

"Thanks."

 

Draco blinked at him when he sat down in Potions. "You look positively respectable today, Harry." 

"Thanks." Harry grinned. "I'm practicing."

Draco raised his eyebrows. "For...?"

"I thought I might be a wizard when I grow up." 

Draco laughed. "I'd hope so." He sighed and slouched back. "You were you sitting with Granger and Weasley at dinner last night," he challenged.

"Yeah," Harry admitted.

"I thought you were never going to speak to them again. That was what you said on Wednesday." 

"Well, they went to a lot of trouble to apologize."

"That doesn't obligate you to forgive them." 

Harry sighed. He wondered if it was worth trying to explain that it made him happier to be on good terms with them. "I need Hermione's help on a project," he said, instead. 

"Oh," Draco said. "I suppose it makes sense, then." He toyed with his quill. "Would you like to go flying, again, tomorrow?"

"Sunday would be better."

Draco nodded. "Sunday, then. At the same time?

"Sounds good." 

 

On the way to Defense Against the Dark Arts, Draco held Harry back from their classmates. When they were alone on the stairs, he said:

"About this project you need Granger for ...." He hesitated. "Could I help, instead?"

Harry shook his head. "No."

"I'm as clever as she as," Draco objected, "and more powerful. I know more spells."

"But I can count on her loyalty."

"Loyalty!" Draco repeated incredulously. "You said that she was spying on you."

"Not her loyalty to me. I mean..." Harry took a quick breath. "Politically." 

"Oh." Malfoy's mouth lifted in a sneer of distaste. " _That_ sort of loyalty. Yes, I suppose the loyalties of a Mudblood could be guaranteed."

"Watch your mouth," Harry snapped.

"You still like her," Draco accused.

Harry sighed and nodded. "I think that's permanent." He frowned. "Even if I didn't, that's an awful thing to call anybody. I don't think there's anything dirty about Muggle blood." 

"Of course not," Draco said pointedly. " _You_ are a half-blood." 

"Yes. And I'm not superior to Hermione."

Draco relaxed and laughed. "Well, I think you are, blood or no." 

Harry tried not to smile. 

"Come on," Draco said. "We'll be late." 

 

**********

 

"I found the information," Hermione said quietly, as she joined Ron near Hagrid's hut. She led him a distance from the other early students. 

"About what?"

She lowered her voice. "The Paternity Charm."  

"Well?" He lowered his to match.

"It does wear off slowly, as blood is replaced. A bleeding injury will speed that up."

"Like Saturday?"

"Right."

"What changes?"

"Well, it doesn't make someone look like the spell father, as you said. His traits replace only those inherited from the biological father. So traits he got from his mother will stay."

"Green eyes."

"Yes. And probably other things." 

"How long does it take?"

"Six months, maximum, so if this started over the summer, it makes sense for him to say he'll be able to tell us by January." 

"And we know Voldemort wasn't the father." 

"I think that's a safe assumption." 

"Anything else?"

"Hard to say. Dark hair is dominant, so it wouldn't be a blond or redhead..." Hermione mused. 

"I think his hair is blacker. It used to be seal-brown, really. Now it's jet." 

"And completely straight, rather than just not curly." 

"And not messy." 

"He's grown taller."

"But James was tall. Skinny, but tall, at least by the time he was with Lily."

"Did we figure out when he grew, though?"

"No." Ron frowned. "Maybe we should put the photographs in order."

"We haven't even gone through them all!" 

"Still."

Hermione bit her lip. "It might help," she said slowly. "Can you help with it, tonight?"

"Not till I'm done with my Charms work," Ron said glumly. 

"I can start by myself." Hermione stopped. She took a quick breath. "Or perhaps we should just wait until December."

"I suppose so."  

"Why wouldn't he be able to tell us, though?"

"I still think it's got to be a Death Eater," Ron said confidently. "Or someone into Dark Arts in a big way, at least."

"What if it's the other way round?" Hermione asked. 

"What do you mean?"

"What if it's someone whose reputation would suffer? Minister Fudge, say, or Professor Dumbledore?"

Ron looked slightly green. 

"Ron? Hermione? Yeh' comin' to class?"

Ron and Hermione jumped guiltily and ran over to Hagrid. "This," he said proudly, gesturing at a seemingly empty cage, "is a tebo." 

 

**********

 

After classes, Harry dropped some of his books off in his dormitory, and went to the library with his lightened bag. He hoped to go through the pictures, pull out any photos with Severus in them, or with Lily wearing his ring, and sneak them out of the library. 

He made it into the archive room, and found the photographs without problem, but he soon realized that this was not a one-evening job. Not only were there more photographs then he thought, in no particular order, and spanning a longer time period than he had realized, but he couldn't rely on a single scan of a wizarding photo telling him what he needed to know. Just because a picture did not have Severus in it when he first looked at it, did not mean Severus was never in that picture. 

After a few minutes of scanning through a selection of photographs multiple times, Harry developed a method. He picked up a half-inch section of photographs, and scanned to sorted them into three piles: definitely the critical years (1994 through 1997), definitely not the critical years, and photographs for which he could not determine the year. Before '94, he thought Severus was too much of a little boy to look as noticeably like him. 

When his pile was three piles, he took the irrelevant one and put it in the back of the box, set the questionable one aside, and laid out the photographs from the relevant one on the table, in a grid. Then he scanned over the grid for several minutes, looking for either of his biological parents. 

On his third set of photos, he stopped at a picture of Draco. Even as he raised it for a closer look, he realized the blond boy couldn't be Draco. This was Lucius, at Draco's age, or close to it. Lucius Malfoy had several other boys and one girl with him, but he seemed to be the leader of the group. Everybody looked to him, not only when he spoke, but when anyone else finished speaking. 

Harry jumped when someone entered the room. He whipped his head around and saw it was Hermione.

"Looking?" she asked. 

"I'd rather do it in private, if you don't mind." 

Hermione, perversely, came closer and looked over his shoulder. "Who's in that one?"

Harry studied the photograph again. "Future Death Eaters," he said, remembering James had called them that. "See, there's Lucius Malfoy, and I think that may be Bellatrix -- unless she was younger? I don't recall." 

"Why are you looking at them?" 

Harry laughed slightly. "Because I saw Draco." 

"But that's --"

"I know." Harry looked at the blond boy again and felt disoriented at the way he set his head back, like Draco about to say something cutting. "It's strange. Disconcerting."

"I find it weird enough, and I don't even like him," Hermione agreed. She looked at the photos that Harry had laid out in a grid. Harry was just opening his mouth to tell her to leave when Ron appeared in the doorway.

"Hi?" he called tentatively.

"A moment, Ron," Hermione answered. She gestured to the spread out photographs. "What are these?" 

"Photos that might be from my parents' last few years in school," Harry said quickly. "Now, if you would --" 

"Because...?"

"To see who wanders into them, if anyone." 

Hermione slapped her forehead. "That's why Ron took so long on each one!"

Ron looked perplexed. Harry laughed. "You just looked at them once?"

"I didn't think about it!" 

"Oh." 

"Oh!" Hermione pounced on a photograph from the grid. "Look. It's your mother!"

Harry looked. It was his mum ... with Severus. "May I see?" he asked, trying to sound casual. He reached a hand out. In the photo, he could just Lily starting to lean back into Severus's embrace....

"Just a minute. I've seen that boy in ... Profess--?" Hermione stopped abruptly. She looked up at Harry. 

"Hermione, please," he said desperately. "You should--"

"Take off your glasses," she ordered. "And let the hair down."

"You should go, now." Harry said, through clenched teeth.

"Take them off."

"Hermione, please!"

"Accio glasses!" 

Harry snatched at the glasses, but they beat him to Hermione's hand. He glared at her. He distantly noted that this would make him look more like Severus, but he was quite sure it didn't matter anymore. The world was only blurry at a distance. He held out his hand. 

"Glasses, if you would," he said coldly. The glasses came easily out of Hermione's numb fingers. Harry narrowed his eyes. "Come with me," he ordered. He turned the glare on Ron. "You too." With that, Harry whirled and strode out of the room, keeping only enough attention behind him to confirm that Hermione and Ron followed.

 

By the time they had reached the fifth floor, Harry's fury had abated, but he did not dare look at Hermione, for fear of breaking down. Desperately, he paced back and forth, willing the room to appear with some safe, calming place to talk with friends. He had lost track of his pacings when the door appeared. In a flood of relief, Harry opened it. 

"Your Bohemian flat," Hermione commented, as they entered the small, dark room with the couches and fairy lights.

Harry shot her a look, but didn't bother to compose a retort. He pointed his wand at the door and sent off spells to keep it closed, and to make the cracks around it impassable. Then he turned in a slow circle to soundproof the door and walls, then ceiling and floor. Finally he turned back to them. 

"What I tell you here is not to be mentioned to anyone else, or in any place less secure."

"Right, mate," Ron agreed, looking at him as if he had gone totally round the bend.

"I'm deadly serious about that. No talking to me, or between yourselves, in corridors or a corner of the common room -- or even a closed, unwarded room. If Voldemort finds out what I am going to tell you, he will have enough information to dismantle my protections -- to kill me." Harry let out a short breath. "Not to mention that he'd kill Severus and disrupt a number of the Order's activities." 

"Severus?" Ron said, confused. Hermione, behind him, nodded grimly, and sat on the couch. She folded her hands in her lap. Ron sank down to the seat next to her. 

"Professor Snape is my father."

 

For a second, it seemed as if both of them had taken this calmly. Then:

"I'll kill him!" Ron exclaimed. His face was going very red. Hermione sat still and pale.

"WHAT?!" Harry yelled. "Don't you _dare_ touch him." 

"Well, you can't think it's all right!"

"He's been fine. I spent August with him, and--"

"Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND?"

"Ron, it's all right," Harry soothed. "The whole situation was much more of a mess than you think. He found out when I did, this summer--"

"And that makes it all right? How, exactly? I'm supposed to think this is okay because he didn't know he'd got her pregnant? Bloody wonderful, that!"

"It wasn't like that! He--"

"And don't glare at me like _him!_ " 

"I can't help that!" Harry screamed. "Are you my friend or not?"

Ron went silent for a moment. He chewed at his lower lip while he looked steadily at Harry. Hermione, caught in the space between them, had pressed back into the cushions of the couch, and remained flattened there, in a vain attempt to stay clear of the fight. "Of course," Ron said. He spoke quietly, but his voice and body both shook. 

"Does it matter who my father is, then?"

Ron scowled. "That's not it! I don't give a fuck about your ancestry!"  His voice rose in anger. "You've been in the dungeons with him -- I know! Why are you associating with that greasy snake?" 

"He's my father?"

"So he raped your mother. That's no--"

"He did NOT RAPE her!"

"Then he used Dark Arts on her," Ron said fiercely, "or dropped something in her drink! Mum's told me about James and Lily--"

"He asked James! It was a Herem ritual!"

"That's _medieval!_ "

"Mum was willing; it was entirely proper--"

"It doesn't MATTER!" Ron screamed, pushing to his feet and hurling the nearest object across the room. It was a throw cushion, and not at all impressive. "HE'S A FUCKING BASTARD!" Ron grabbed a book from his bag and threw that, too. It thudded into the far wall, then thumped to the floor in a flurry of loosened pages. "HE HATES GRYFFINDORS, AND HE BLOODY WELL HATES YOU! Remember that," he finished, almost pleadingly. 

"Ron, you hardly know him. What you see in class--" 

Ron scowled. "I am not listening to any more of this!" he said angrily over Harry's words. He sliced his arm across the space between them when Harry started to rise. "Don't worry; I won't tell. I'd rather cut out my tongue than repeat any of this! And when you come to your senses, I'll be there for you." He paused, with his hand on the doorknob. "I know you want a family, Harry, but you don't need that scheming, slimy, sadistic, filthy, _evil_ snake of a Death Eater!" With that, he stormed out, slamming the heavy door behind him. The crash echoed in the still room. 


	54. Sharing Secrets

Sharing Secrets

 

"Well," Harry said, into the silence that followed Ron's departure. His voice came out a bit squeaky. He looked cautiously at Hermione, and found her regarding him in fearful horror. She was pale as a ghost, and her hands were still clasped tightly in her lap. He smiled shakily. "That went better than I expected," he said. 

Hermione laughed. She seized Harry's hands, and he found himself laughing too, more with hysteria and relief than amusement. Slowly they stopped, and Harry realized they were now kneeling with their arms around each other, hanging on for dear life.  

"Better?" she managed, choking on the word. 

"I was expecting him to say he'd never speak to me again." Harry rested his head on her shoulder. His heart was beating far too fast. 

"He'll get over it," Hermione whispered.

"I know." Harry sighed. "I just wish I knew how long it would take." 

Hermione leaned her cheek against his head. "He has a point, though," she whispered. 

"What?"

"You _do_ want desperately to belong to someone. And Professor Snape seems like a bad choice, no matter what he may be to you biologically. You should know from the Dursleys that you can't trust someone just because they're related to you." 

"It's not just that he's related," Harry protested. In a series of little shifts, still maintaining contact, they both settled back on the couch. Harry had to stretch to keep an arm around her waist. 

"No?" she said. Her knee bumped into his. 

"No. I lived with him for most of August. We didn't expect to like each other, at all. But he understands me -- better than most people, once he started paying attention, rather than assuming." 

Hermione tugged at his extended arm, and when, guiltily, he pulled it back, caught at his hand and held it. "Understands you, how?" she asked.

"Well ... the Dursleys, the prophesy, that sort of thing. He's had a rougher life than I have, really, and he can be helpful without being patronizing or making things worse. The only thing we really can't talk about is Sirius."  Harry shivered. "Well, James is difficult, too, but I have Remus for that -- or I had." He squeezed her hand. "Thanks for staying."

"It's okay. It's been awful not knowing what you were hiding."

"I had to see him, and I knew you'd notice. Remus thought we were lovers, or that he was ... forcing me, or something. It got very messy. I was trying to avoid that." 

"You had to see him?"

"I'd got used to it."

"To what?"

"I don't know -- having someone look after me? Long conversations about potions and people and Dark Arts and where things get ballsed up, all spiced with sarcastic little cuts and pointers on poisoning people, and such. He can be very funny, in a sly way."

Hermione sighed. Her voice shook slightly as she said:

"You like him."

"Yes." Harry realized he was looking at the seat cushions, and forced himself to meet her eyes again. "Do you mind?"

"I ... I'm not sure of it -- that it's good for you."

"But you're not angry."

"No."

"Thanks." He squeezed her hand again. "You've more reason to be angry than Ron has." 

"Why's that?"

"Because he's such a bigot."

Hermione laughed. "So you're not claiming it's an act, then?"

"Some of it is. Some of isn't." Harry frowned. "There was certainly a point in his life where he believed Muggles, Muggle-borns -- even half-bloods -- to be less than human."

"That's ridiculous."

"Yes, but people do it all the time, about all sorts of things. It's much easier to kill someone when you believe that of them."

"I imagine so." Hermione pressed into the couch back, again, though she left her hand in his. 

"And when you've made that choice, you have a huge emotional investment in continuing to believe those people are inhuman -- because, otherwise, you need to face what you have done."

"And can he?"

"Partially." Harry remembered Severus hiding his face as he spoke. "Actually, yes, but he's paralyzed with it. He can drown in his guilt, but he can't leave it, so he can't do anything new. I think I'm helping, some, because I'm such a random element."  He paused. "And I love him. And I'm Lily's child, and his half-blood child." Harry managed a weak smile. "He spent half of August lost in 1976, I think."

"For therapy, I think a lost child is a bit extreme."

"A stolen child," Harry corrected. "I was meant to be his. Have you ever heard of Herem -- the Heir Spell?"

Hermione's eyes lost focus for a minute, as she thought. "I came across that in a history," she said, "but it didn't make any sense. The note said it was a way for a woman to bear an heir to someone who was already dead?"

"Usually, yes."

"Is the sperm saved somewhere?"

Harry laughed. "Inside her. They need to ... to have sex while he's still alive." He reddened. "But it's time-locked. The woman can release it, if he's dead -- except, spells to tell 'dead' at a distance aren't very good, as you probably know. When Severus was in a coma, or something like that, my mum released the lock, and it worked. She got pregnant. Then he turned out to be alive, and none of them had made plans for that." 

"Why would that...?" Hermione's eyes widened. "Oh."

"He didn't hate James as much as he would after Lily died, but I doubt he would have been able to watch James raise his child. And James and Lily felt that, in addition to not being a suitable single parent, he wouldn't be able to protect me from Voldemort. They may have been right. Of course, now he's got the problem of protecting himself from Voldemort, when it's found he intentionally had a child by a Muggle-born witch -- _me_ , just to make it worse."

"But Dumbledore will protect him."

"Dumbledore can't protect him from the Mark." Harry scrunched back in the cushions. "He's afraid he'll need to cut the arm off, if Voldemort is persistent. That would limit what he could brew -- he wouldn't be able to stand it. I think I should try to kill Voldemort for him, but he says I'm too young."

"Don't you think he's right?"

Harry had to consider that. "Yes and no," he said. "Ideally, I wouldn't need to. Of course, ideally, no one would ever need to kill, at all. It's a horrible thing, because it can never be undone."  

"But we don't _want_ it undone. Voldemort is _evil._ He _ought_ to be killed."

"Yes," Harry said, "and no. He _used to be_ someone a lot like me. And I've seen glimpses of that person. He's monumentally insecure -- far more than I've ever been -- abandoned, angry, and resentful. And because he couldn't stand to be hurt or confused, or to trust anyone as an equal, it all just channeled into hate. And when I kill him, I'm going to remember that I'm killing whatever is left of Tom Riddle. Because I need to kill him, but I also need to know what a terrible thing I'm doing." 

Hermione looked at Harry searchingly for several seconds, then slowly turned away. While he was frozen with despair, she leaned affectionately back into his shoulder. 

"You're a good person, Harry." 

"Thanks." Harry managed to resume breathing. Tentatively, he moved an arm around her. "Come to the Halloween Ball with me?"

"What Halloween Ball?" she giggled. 

"It hasn't been announced yet."

Hermione caught at the hand on her arm and squeezed it tight. "Ask me after it is." 

 

Harry had just launched into a refreshingly honest recounting of his summer, when someone knocked at the door. Hermione sat up, and she and Harry looked at each other. 

"It's days too early for Ron," Hermione whispered. Harry smiled, even though the thought hurt. _It could be weeks too early for Ron._ The knocking repeated. 

"Who is it?" Harry called, then remembered he had soundproofed the room. Two swift, hammering blows came next. Harry darted over to the door and opened it. Ginny was standing in the hallway, her face red and her fist raised for another pounding. 

"Hold your horses, okay? I'd warded for sound. What's up?"

"Ron's upset -- worse than I've seen since Dad was in the hospital!" Ginny herself was shaking. "He won't tell me anything, just told me to come here and talk to you."

Harry looked back at Hermione. In answer to his silent question, she nodded. 

"Best do it," Hermione said. "She's far too smart."

Harry sighed. "All right," he said to Ginny. "Come in, then."  

Ginny marched in and sat down on the free couch. Harry paused to renew the disrupted impenetrability spell on the doorway before returning to sit with Hermione. He looked across at Ginny. 

"This is not to be repeated."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Fine."

"This is not to be discussed with people who know, except in a secure, warded room."

"Go on, then!"

Harry sighed. He looked at Hermione. "What does she know?"

"Well, about the Paternity spell --"

"Oh just go blabbing that all over, why don't you?! Were you paying _any_ attention when I said that what I was hiding could get people killed?"

"Harry...." Hermione bit her lip. She caught herself and managed an apologetic smile. "When you're hiding something ... you're not very honest."

"What?!" Harry shouted indignantly.

"You're not! Two years ago, you told me you'd figured out the Second Task. Last year, you said you were still studying Occlumency, and then that you were good enough at it not to need to."

"But not that it was critically, life-or-death important, go ask Dumbledore!" Harry yelled. 

"It's a believable progression."

"I've been working on being better!"

"Fine," Hermione said reasonably, "but I haven't _seen_ any of it. You've been hiding most of the last month. When I do see you, you're playing with potions, or falling over with visions, even though you say you're much better at Occlumency, or channeling Fred for the second-years...."

"Excuse me?" Ginny tapped a foot repeatedly against the carpeted floor. "Was someone going to tell me _why_ my brother's looking like one of you died?" 

Harry sighed. "Sorry. So. On my sixteenth birthday, I got a letter from James Potter. Time-sent to _me,_ at _then._ " 

"All right. Your dad sent you a letter."

"In which he told me that my 'biological father' was an ex-boyfriend of Lily's -- not that it was an affair, or anything; I was planned -- this rather crazy man named Severus Snape."

Ginny's eyes widened. She giggled. "Oh no!" she exclaimed. 

Harry grinned. "Oh yes. So when _he_ found out, he told Professor Dumbledore, who said that if Snape was my father, I could stay with him."

"Lovely."

"Mm. So, Severus threw a fit, then told me not to expect any sort of interaction with him, and then the next morning he was off on 'you may not wear that in public' and ' _what_ are you smoking?', and a week or two later I was helping him in the lab, and he was letting me read his books, and play around with potions variations, and brew in a gold cauldron. When I had to move out, we realized we'd got fond of each other." Harry sighed. Ginny's amused horror had faded to a thoughtful frown, but she didn't seem angry, just puzzled. 

"That's what Ron's upset about, mostly," Harry continued. "Not that Snape's my father, you know, but that I don't mind that he is. I'm pretty happy, actually, except for trying to hide it, and knowing we'll both be in danger when Voldemort finds out."

Ginny shivered. "Is Professor Snape.... I know he comes to talk to the Order--"

"The old crowd," Harry corrected.

"--the old crowd, sometimes, but is he ...?"

"Don't ask questions we're not supposed to answer," Harry said gently. "Things are getting worse. You don't know. Keep it that way until there's some value to you knowing." 

Ginny hesitated, then nodded. "All right. I do see the point. It's just so _annoying,_ being the youngest."

Harry shook his head. "Ah, your mother's going to have fits when you're old enough. Four of her sons is bad enough, and you know Ron will make five, but her only daughter?"

Ginny nodded. "It's rough on Mum, but we need to have our lives, too."

Harry nodded. _If I understand anything,_ he thought wryly, _it's needing to be able to take risks._

"So you don't mind?" Harry asked curiously. "About me, I mean?"

Ginny shook her head. "Harry," she said, "when I realized how much your face had changed, I thought you were a replacement -- that the _real_ Harry had died in the attack on the Dursleys, and it was being covered up."

"That was when we all got very weird around you," Hermione confessed. 

"But then Ron remembered the Paternity Charm."

"For a while we were wondering if Voldemort might be your father."

Harry laughed and shook his head in amused bewilderment. "What!"

"Well," Hermione said reasonably, "we were trying to figure out why you couldn't tell us." 

"James Potter was popular, but your image doesn't depend on his," Ginny added. She cocked her head to the side. "Terry says that Professor Snape is horrible to you in class."

Harry gave a tight shrug. "He needs to be." 

"That must be rough," Hermione said sympathetically. 

"That's why I need to keep sneaking off to see him," Harry confessed. "I need to remember it's not like that, really." 

"So tell us a story," Ginny urged. "Something fun about him."

"Or nice," Hermione added.

Harry laughed. He thought back. Most of his pleasant times with Severus did not make good stories. On impulse, he pulled a vial of pink bubble stuff out of his inner robe pocket and held it up so it reflected little colored lights. "Let me tell you the story about ... _this._ " 

Hermione frowned with disapproval at the choice of subject, but did not interfere, and Ginny was giggling by the time Harry was half-way through describing the transcriber and his paranoid reaction to it. When Harry, in an excellent mimicry of Professor Snape, crooned "closer, little Gryffindor," Hermione nearly fell off the couch from laughing. Both the girls went wide-eyed at Harry's embarrassed and rather vague "... and then, um, they started ... well, being obscene at each other." 

"Professor Snape and Professor Lupin?!" Ginny yelped. 

"They went out together at our age," Harry confided. He frowned. "Before Sirius played his little trick." 

Hermione flinched. 

"But Professor Lupin is so _nice!_ " Ginny objected. She put her hands over her mouth. "Sorry." 

"'S'alright." Harry said. He leaned forward conspiratorially. "You know what?"

"What?" the girls breathed, in chorus. 

"I want to get them back together. Father's been mellowing about Remus a lot. I think they'd be really good for each other."

Ginny and Hermione looked at each other for a moment.

"Probably _anyone_ would improve Professor Snape," Hermione said wryly.

"And what about Remus?" Harry countered. "He lets people treat him like crap. Getting back the boyfriend he lost over being a werewolf would be great for him, wouldn't it? And he loves Severus. You can't imagine his face, Hermione, when I brought him that picture." 

Hermione clapped her hands over her mouth. "Ohmigod!"

"What?"

"The pictures! We left them out!"

"Oh shit!"

Hermione glanced at her watch. 

"It's closed now. We should be back at Gryffindor." 

"I'll get my cloak and go out."

"Harry!"

"Just to put them away, Hermione." 

"Madam Pince will have done that."

"If she hasn't. If not, I'll come right back, okay?"

Hermione sighed. "Okay. But come right back." 

"I promise." Harry stood, then hesitated. "Hermione?" he said. "What you did.... That was cruel. It's not your right--" He stopped and took a quick breath. "I want to speak to you alone tomorrow, when we're calmer."

Hermione bit her lip, but nodded. "Fine."

 


	55. The Attacks

 

Harry woke up feeling relaxed. On the way to the bathroom, he passed Ron. Ron set his lips in a thin line and walked past without speaking. Harry suddenly felt a lot worse. 

He washed, combed his hair, and pinned the front strands back. With his glasses off, he evaluated himself in the mirror. He looked like a stranger, but a wizardly one. He knew he would need to cut his hair soon, which made him feel like a child playing dress-up. It wasn't a bad feeling, he thought, just silly. He stuck his tongue out at his reflection, and left for breakfast. 

"Has Ron been awful?" Hermione asked, when Harry met her on the stairs. "He wouldn't even say good morning to me." 

"He just ignored me, that's all." Harry said. 

"I'm sorry. This is my fault." 

Harry shrugged. "In part. But it's his decision."

Hermione sighed. "You're wearing your hair like that, again," she said, frowning.

"Do you like it?"

"Not really. You look like some old wizard." 

"That's rather the point. Growing my hair reminds people that I have no senior male relatives."

Hermione's eyes widened. "Oh," she said.

"And pulling it back looks ... distinctive."

She giggled. "Uh-huh." 

 

Before they even entered the Great Hall, they knew something was wrong. The hubbub of conversation had a strained, anxious tone. Harry scanned around the hall as he entered it. Draco was sitting with Goyle and Goyle's girlfriend, his attention focused on a newspaper. Without stopping to think, Harry strode over to him. 

"What happened?"

Draco gave a harsh laugh. "Monster's night out, courtesy of You-Know-Who." Goyle gave them a puzzled look. Harry got the impression Draco wasn't thinking well, either. "Here." 

The Daily Prophet he thrust at Harry had two huge headlines:

**Werewolf Terror -- Trent Durand, Ministry Official, Mauled**

and 

**Dementor Attacks Wipe Out Two Mixed Families in Hogsmeade**

"Hell." Harry began to read: 

 

> Popular Appleby Arrows Beater, Trent Durand, and Cassandra Dunn, press secretary for the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures, were the latest victims of a WFU (Wolven Freedom Union) campaign of deliberate werewolf attacks. Neither victim was killed, but both were viciously bitten and assumed infected. Both Mr. Durand and Mrs. Dunn are currently under observation at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries.
> 
> Durand was walking home from a post-game party to his London flat, when attacked. His companion, Miss Jeanette LeFay, was unharmed --

 

"If everyone would please be seated," came Dumbledore's magically amplified voice, "and quiet, I have a few announcements to make." 

Harry gave Draco back his paper. Hermione, to his surprise, was still standing near him. Together, he and Hermione moved quickly over to the Gryffindor table, taking the first available seats. Harry looked up at the staff table while they waited for others to settle. Remus, although he did not usually attend meals in the day after a change, was at his seat. Harry wasn't sure this would help his image any. The werewolf's debilitated condition was apparent at a glance, and would remind people of his disease. Severus, two seats away, was glowering dangerously.

"Poor Professor Lupin," Hermione said. "People will hold it against him. It's so unfair!" 

_He knew,_ Harry thought dizzily, remembering Remus with his eyes shut against the letter. _He's probably not involved, but he knew. _Still, he couldn't help but feel sorry for Remus, who did look miserable. He might share his suspicions with Hermione later, but not in public.

"And Snape's furious," Harry muttered, trying to refocus. "I wouldn't try to talk to him, now." 

"I'd think _he'd_ have known," Hermione whispered. Harry flinched. The reminder made him wonder if Remus was spying, but had not got enough information. In that case, though, would Snape's dark glare be shot at him so often? 

"I believe most of you have heard the news," Professor Dumbledore said, "but if not, in brief: There were two attacks, last night. The first was by the WFU, an extremist werewolf rights group allied with Voldemort. As last month, they attacked to infect, not to kill. Whereas last month's attack had a single, Ministry target, this month they attacked a Ministry target, and a popular one -- a Quidditch player, Trent Durand."

The noise at that revealed that many people had not known -- there was a general low growling rumble of talk, and a few dismayed shrieks from girls. Madam Hooch, Harry noticed now, was slumped in her seat in front of an empty plate.

"It is my hope that you are all intelligent and mature enough to not hold this attack against all werewolves, just as we do not hold all pureblood wizards responsible for the actions of the Death Eaters."

 _Or all half-blood wizards responsible for the actions of Lord Voldemort,_ Harry added to himself.

The rumble had an undercurrent that Harry did not like. He guessed that many of the students were quite willing to hold the attack against all werewolves. Certainly Severus was openly glaring at Remus, and Professor Sprout regarding him with visible distaste. 

"So much for their improving relations," Harry muttered to Hermione.

"Please," Dumbledore said. "Silence." The rumble faded to scattered whispers, and the headmaster continued. 

"The second attack took place in Hogsmeade, and had fatalities. That one appears to have been a joint effort by Dementors and humans -- in Voldemort's service. Two families, both with one Muggle-born parent, were attacked in their homes, and all members either received the Dementor's kiss, or were destroyed by the Killing Curse. The Dark Mark was raised above both houses. Aurors joined members of the Hogwarts staff and certain skilled citizens of the town, and we managed to foil at least three other targeted attacks. I fear that remote villages will be more vulnerable. 

"I will leave you to mull over the greater implications of this on your own, but we have some immediate, practical, repercussions. First, today's Hogsmeade leave has been rescheduled to next Saturday." Some of the third years made disappointed or complaining noises, and were promptly shushed by older students. "The town is in mourning," Dumbledore said severely. "It is in no mood for student high spirits, or even low ones. You will all enjoy the visit more, next week. A few popular merchants have indicated they may stay open an extra hour to accommodate next Saturday's Quidditch match, which will start at nine o'clock, rather than eleven.

"Second, a few parents who have been educating their children at home have asked for asylum at Hogwarts. We have many unused rooms up on the fourth floor, and I will be blocking off an area for their use. We will have some entire families, some younger children, and a few children of school age, with tutors. I ask that you treat these people courteously when you encounter them, which should not happen frequently. We may find meals slightly less elaborate as the house-elves acquire more duties, but that should be the only effect on our daily lives.

"Third, anyone who wishes to discuss their thoughts or fears on these matters is welcome to talk to their head of house, Madam Pomfrey, or me. I will be maintaining office hours all day tomorrow, and from the end of classes to dinnertime on Monday through to Thursday, next week. During these times, there will be no password on my door.

"Finally, I instruct you to treat each other with the respect and courtesy that all your staff and fellow students deserve. 

"Now, please eat, before the food grows cold." 

 

The first Howler arrived near the end of breakfast, after about half the students had left. Remus sliced it open and listened dully to screamed obscene attacks on his character, accusations of murderous designs upon his students, and, eventually, threats. 

When the third one arrived, the headmaster pointed his wand at it, and it imploded in a cloud of crimson smoke. His voice carried to Harry's seat as he said:

"Professor Lupin, if you plan to listen to all of this vitriol -- which I do not recommend -- I must request you eat in your rooms. I would prefer not to expose the children to such an abundance of bad language, bad manners, and bad logic." 

Remus stood unsteadily. He swayed when he nodded to the headmaster. Harry glanced at his father and saw the man was regarding Remus with open hatred. Harry stood and hurried to the end of the staff table. He intercepted Remus there, on the other's way to the door. 

"Yes, Harry?" Remus asked resignedly. 

Harry realized, with dismay, that Remus was waiting for an attack. He shifted uneasily. "Don't listen to them," he said. "They're not worth that."

"I will do as I feel best."

Harry nodded, unable to speak. Spontaneously, he laid a hand on Remus's shoulder. 

"Potter, return to your seat this instant!" Severus snarled. 

"Now, Severus--" Dumbledore soothed.

"The boy is a student! He does not belong here. Nor should he be petting his inhuman teacher in front of--"

"Professor Lupin is most certainly human, Snape, despite his disease." 

"His disease makes him an animal!"

"Only one night a month--"

Remus fled. Harry turned his back on the staff table and strode to his seat to speak to Hermione. He could still hear the adults' voices, though not their words, when he reached her. He turned back in time to see Severus storm out of the room. When he turned in the doorway, his robes went high enough to show the tops of his boots. Harry wasn't at all amused. 

"I need to be alone," he told Hermione. "I'll see you this afternoon, okay? Don't worry about me."

She nodded silently. He could see tears glistening in her eyes. Awkwardly, he hugged her. "Sorry," he said. "I won't be any help right now."

"I understand," she said. "I'll be up in my dormitory, or the library."

Ginny came over to them and stood uncertainly nearby. Harry reached out and caught her hand, and joined it with Hermione's. "Take care of Hermione for me, will you, Ginny?"

"'Course," Ginny said. 

Harry left. 

 

Harry left the school building and walked away from it. The day was bright and sunny, but chill. Although he had no conscious destination, he soon found himself at the shore of the lake, listening to the comforting, soft sound of water lapping against the stones. He walked along the shoreline until he came to a grove of aspen. The slender trees were never so close that a person could not easily walk between them, but their interwoven branches shaded all the ground. The filtered light, already green from the leaves overhead, glowed on a thick carpet of moss. 

Harry walked to the center of the grove and stopped. "Dementors," he muttered. Even as depressed as he was, he knew he had to try to summon a Patronus. 

He had not dared to attempt the spell since he had discovered that James was not his real father. He had been afraid the stag might not appear for him. 

This was not the ideal time to make the experiment. He was anxious about the attacks, aching for the victims, and, above all, distraught that Remus, one of the few adults he trusted, might not deserve his trust. He tried to think of something happy that was not so far in his past as to seem unreal. There was Hermione, leaning back against him, saying "you're a good person, Harry," but too much sorrow and fear was tied up in the time around that. He considered his father, whispering "I love you," in the dark, but that was also bound by fear and deception. 

He needed something simple, he thought, but winning the Quidditch Cup wouldn't do now -- that was lost innocence, really. Flying, by itself, might. He thought of flying, and tried to capture a moment of it -- racing madly through the air, shouting "far goal hoops!" to Draco, lying flat to his broom for the greatest speed....

" _Expecto_ _Patronum!_ "

His Patronus was still a corporeal stag. It shot from his wand in a glory of silver, galloped twice around the mossy grove, and finally, stopped silently, one shimmering flank just out of Harry's reach. The stag pawed once at the ground, then brought his antler-crowned head high. Slowly, he turned his head to Harry. His dark eyes locked on Harry's green ones, and Harry felt as if his heart and breath had stopped. With effort, he broke through the intensity and uncertainty and took a step towards the noble creature. 

"James?" he whispered.

The stag laid back his magnificent antlers to stretch out a silver nose to Harry. Harry could not keep himself from reaching to touch it, even though he was certain he could not. A soft breath caressed his hand as he extended it, then, inevitably, the stag faded into silver mist. Harry sank to his knees on the soft moss and bowed his head. 

 

He was not sure how long he knelt there. He might have stayed until his legs fell asleep had he not been disturbed. A rustle of leaves sent Harry scrambling frantically to his feet. He found himself in dueling stance, wand out, facing a rather startled-looking Draco Malfoy. 

"It's just me," Draco said. 

"And of course you're safe!" Harry exclaimed. He couldn't restrain a hysterical laugh. Draco clenched his jaw and turned pink. 

"Sorry," Harry said. He lowered his wand. "Really. I am. But imagine seeing this in a crystal ball, last year." 

Draco shrugged, and managed a slight smile. "Professor Trelawny?" he whined. "This one's broken. I just saw myself reassuring Potter." 

Harry managed a smile. "Obviously impossible," he said. He jerked his head towards the water. "Sit by the shore?"

Draco shrugged. "This is fine." He looked around a moment, then chose a rock by a tree trunk and sat there. Harry selected another one, close by. "Lovely spot, actually," Draco said. He smirked at Harry. "All silver and green." 

"A bit of gold." Harry pointed to some turning leaves, and Draco rolled his eyes.

"Ah, yes. The dying bits."

Harry's laugh came out in a painful burst of breath. He wasn't sure it was funny. Draco ignored the rude sound and pointed at the ground. "Look -- hoofprints!" 

Harry nodded. "There was a stag." 

Draco's pale eyes flashed up to him. A shrewd expression crossed his face. "Yours?"

"Yeah," Harry admitted. "I've had such a shitty week, I decided I better make certain I still could."

"Any trouble?"

"No." 

Draco nodded quickly. "Good." 

Harry watched the Slytherin shift uncomfortably. Draco leaned back against the tree, and crossed his arms over his narrow chest. "Odd, isn't it?" he said. "Dementors and ... wizards. Most wizards couldn't do that." 

Harry hadn't thought about that. "That is strange," he agreed. "They'd have to be either very secure, or very dumb, I'd think." 

"Professor Snape told me he'd devised a potion to dull the effects of proximity to a Dementor," Draco remarked, at a casual drawl. "Perhaps they had something of that sort."

Harry's heart skipped a beat. That would do it. Severus had never told him what he had made on Sunday. And seeing the use of it would leave him in a rage, with his usual tendency to send it somewhere else. Of course, Draco-- He belatedly wondered if Draco intended to betray Snape to him. He looked at Draco, and found pale eyes watching him steadily. Harry wondered uneasily what had showed on his face. 

"Or perhaps they used one of the Dark Arts spells to restrict emotion," Harry suggested coolly. "In any case, it would be better not to speak of that, I believe."

Pale lashes dropped over the grey eyes. Draco shuddered once, then looked up again, his face schooled to cool amusement. 

"The paper listed the poor victims," he said mockingly. "The baker's family -- did you know?"

Harry shook his head. Draco's voice lost some of its edge. 

"His daughter was a beautiful girl. She worked behind the counter, sometimes. I always wondered why I couldn't get anywhere with her." 

A muscle twitched at the back of Draco's jaw. He laughed harshly. "I never knew about her mother. I'd probably been holding forth on the fate of Mudbloods and Muggles and other enemies of the Dark Lord half the times I was in there. No matter how I smiled at her, she always spoke to anyone else, instead. If I went in with Blaise, she talked to Blaise. She'd talk to Crabbe before me. Blaise said she must not like blonds." He shivered. "She doesn't care now, I suppose."

"Kissed?" Harry managed.

Draco nodded. "The parents were executed. Dementors took the half-blood children." He leaned forward and rested his forehead on one hand. The other stayed clenched in a fist beside him. "I couldn't be expected to know," he complained. "It's a _wizarding_ village. I didn't know there were Muggle-borns there!"

Harry didn't know what to say. He dug his thumb under a section of moss, marring the emerald green with clots of black loam. 

Draco straightened up. His arms locked across his chest again, but his head stayed down. "Are we still on for tomorrow?" he asked sullenly. 

Harry bit his lip. "'Course," he said, as if the decision did not tear at him. 

Draco relaxed slightly. "Thank you," he said. He stood, and Harry did the same. "I am pleased to have you as my friend," Draco said formally. He held out his hand, and Harry, bravely, shook it. Draco's hand was as cold as the stones, but his eyes never wavered. He nodded afterwards, then turned and walked away, leaving Harry standing in the midst of the silver tree trunks, wondering if either had them had just conceded something, and if everything had always been so complicated. 

He looked down, and saw the mirrored crescent mark of a deer's split hoof. Harry nodded to himself. If nothing else, it was time to reread a letter.


	56. Distrust

 

In the Gryffindor common room, Ginny and Ron were screaming at each other. Ron, apparently, had been vocally more upset about Durand then the nine Hogsmeade victims. 

"So he can't play half the time!" Ginny shouted. "He'll live!"

Harry took a breath like he was about to dive, and stepped into the room. He kept his attention on the boys' staircase and started towards it at a normal walk, as if he did not notice the yelling.

"What use is a Quidditch player who can't play half the time?" Ron retorted. 

"Ron, people are _dead._ Dementors kissed five children for the crime of being half-bloods! How can you worry about _Quidditch?_ "

"Look, it's a risk. But Durand had no reason to expect --"

Harry thought he could argue more effectively with Ron, but he couldn't chance it getting personal. Ron might yell out something revealing. He exhaled slightly as he made it to the stairs. 

"So they should have expected it?" Ginny was shouting back. "Should Harry expect it? _He's_ a half-blood! And Dean and Hermione can expect the Killing Curse, I suppose? If they're reckless enough to marry purebloods?"

"Ginny, I know it's horrible--!"

Harry ascended the stone spiral of stairs until the angry words faded beneath him.

He didn't have the letter available, he realized, once he had shut the door behind him. He had left it, like Lily's, in the relative safety of his dungeon room. Harry lay back on his bed, stared up at the red canopy, and wondered if it was safe to approach his father, yet. He needed to tell him that Ron and Hermione had found out, and that he had told Ginny to keep things under control. Harry wasn't sure they would get to that on his first try. Severus would scream about Remus until Harry stormed out or gave in, and afterwards, Harry wouldn't dare bring up more bad news. 

Harry decided he would not admit his suspicions about Remus to his father. Severus did not need fuel for his vilification of the werewolf. Harry rolled to his side and curled up. He wanted to use the portkey now, but he couldn't claim this was an emergency.

_I wanted to curl up in my own bed and reread what James wrote,_ he imagined himself saying, _because I miss him. And I want some of that hot milk drink, with the cardamom and saffron and pistachios. Make that, please?_

Severus did not tend to that sort of indulgence. 

 

When the ache had faded to a dull depression, Harry's thoughts returned to the letter. He wondered how much of it he could remember. He tried to picture it, as it had unfolded in his hands in the light of the torch, two months ago. 

_"My dear son,_

_"This letter is spelled to go to your sixteenth birthday ..."_ something. The explanation. 

_"First, I love you very much. I hope this is unnecessary sentimentality"_ ...something about hoping he would know that - _oh! living long enough!  The joke about Gringotts and the tendency of Potters "to die in messy glory at a young age."_

Harry stared miserably at the edge of the windowsill. The words had seemed so important to him at the time. He would have thought he would remember more. What had James written at the end?" _I want you to know how I walked with you and sang to you when you could not sleep. I want you to be mine, but ..."_ some expression of regret _"... My stolen child."_

And how had he signed it? _That had "father" in it somewhere. "Home-father,"_ Harry remembered suddenly. " _Your loving home-father, James Potter_."

Sometimes Harry wished he could cry as easily as Hermione, and just get it out. Crying, he thought, was a bit like being sick. It was horrible, but all at once, and then you felt better. He scarcely ever cried, and he'd never been able to make himself sick up, either. 

After a while, he left the bed and crossed to the window seat, where he knelt on the cushion, his fingertips set against the glass. The view was similar to the one in his dungeon room, but showed less of the lake. Harry tried to figure out where the grove was, but he thought it was beyond his line of sight.

"Miss you, James," he said, even though it seemed a bit silly, especially considering he didn't remember James, for real. It was the _thought_ of James that he missed, he decided, or the thought of James being comforting. Thinking of James usually made him angry now -- it had ever since the incident with the pensieve. The letters had helped, for a while, but apparently that had worn off. Afterwards, he thought, they may have made things worse, because now he knew the memory was true. 

He remembered the one time Remus had spoken of the letters. The werewolf's thin fingers had traced lovingly along the edges of his copies of them. "Portrait of the author as a bullying git," he had said wryly. "He really wasn't that bad, you know. It was something he fell into, now and then -- the comfort of power -- like you fall into fits of hatred and long sulks."

Eventually, Harry got up and left the room. He wandered downstairs, all the way underground, but didn't find anyone he wanted to talk to. Severus was not in his lab, and his rooms were dark. Malfoy was not in evidence. Harry went back up to the ground floor, then outside. He found himself at Hagrid's hut. 

"Harry!" Hagrid exclaimed. His welcoming expression turned uncertain. "Yeh doin' all righ', Harry?"

"I suppose." 

Hagrid stepped aside, and Harry entered the warm, slightly smoky, hut. Keeping his face clear of Fang's enthusiastic licks was a welcome distraction. 

"Hermione all righ', then?" Hagrid asked.

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I've been too upset to deal with her. I asked Ginny to take care of her."

"Not Ron?"

"Ron's not talking to either of us," Harry said bitterly. "And he's too much in a state about Durand to worry about a couple of nothing families in Hogsmeade. _Draco'_ s more upset about that."

"What? Malfoy, yeh mean?"

"He liked the baker's daughter. Hadn't known she was half-blood, but he's upset." Harry shrugged. "Won't say a word against it, but he is." 

Hagrid's brow furrowed. 'How long yeh bin on a firs' name basis with the Malfoy boy?" he asked. 

Harry buried his face in his hands. "Does it matter?"

Hagrid watched him for a while, then went to put on the kettle. "Yeh'll be friends with who yeh will," he said. "I trust yeh, and yer judgement."

"Thank you," Harry said sincerely. "I can't tell you how good it is to have someone say that." 

"Yeh doin' all righ' with Hermione?"

Harry shook his head and laughed mirthlessly. "Better," he said. "We seem to be friends, again." 

"Yeh want to tell me what's been wrong?" Hagrid asked. 

Harry shook his head. He watched Hagrid prepare a pot of tea. "Hagrid," he said. "How well did you know my Dad?"

Hagrid considered. "Not so well as I do yeh and yer lot," he allowed. "After all, I've known yeh since yeh was a baby. An' James -- he was from a good family, he was. No reason fer him t'bother with me. Weren' till that lot started wanderin' the grounds that I met him, to matter."

"He was a bit of a bully, though, wasn't he?" Harry asked. "I mean, even Sirius admitted that."

"Sirius was a bully, now," Hagrid said. "No offense against him -- he became a fine man, an' no one expected it, what with his family, an' all. James...." He hesitated. "James was a good boy," he said finally. "Exuberant, maybe. Got carried away, a bit, when up again the Slytherins. Not a bad bone in his body, though, and don't yeh let anyone tell you otherwise." 

Harry stared at him. "I see," he said. "So if a Gryffindor hangs a Slytherin upside-down and threatens to strip him, that's exuberance, and if a Slytherin does it, it's -- what? Malice?" 

"What yeh be talkin' about, Harry?"

"Something James did." 

Hagrid looked at him uncertainly. "Never saw James do anything he oughtn'," he said. "'Sides pranks on Snape and Avery." 

"Who didn't count?" Harry asked coldly.

"They did as bad to him!" Hagrid exclaimed. "What's fretting yeh Harry?"

Harry looked down. He took the tea Hagrid offered and drank some of it before answering. 

"I think it's unfair," he said finally. "I think Professor Dumbledore is nearly as unfair to the Slytherins as Professor Snape is to the Gryffindors. I think we're just making everything worse, and if my father had been in another house, people wouldn't remember him  nearly so fondly...."

"Ah, but there's charm, y'see," Hagrid said eagerly. "An' James had that, beyond house and family an' all. He was a charmin' one." He frowned at Harry. "An' whatever he did as a boy, he was a good man. Brave an' true, he was. Don' let anyone tell yeh elsewise." 

 

Remus wasn't present at lunch, nor at dinner. Neither was Severus. The werewolf's absence was understandable, but Harry grew increasingly anxious about his father.  He followed Dumbledore out into the Entrance Hall at the end of the evening meal. 

"May I talk to you, sir?"

"Of course, Harry. My office?"

"Please."

In the privacy of Dumbledore's office, Harry slumped in a comfortable chair. Fawkes came and preened his hair. Harry giggled like a child and tried not to squirm. 

"Sherbet lemon?" the headmaster offered. 

"Thanks." Harry took one. 

"What is it, Harry?" Dumbledore asked. 

"Um ... Has Fa- Professor Snape been summoned?"

Dumbledore looked grave. "I'm afraid so. He feels the risk is slight. Voldemort is pleased."

"Despite your intervention." 

"Of some worth, but he had his kills, nonetheless." Professor Dumbledore sighed. "Your father hoped you would come speak to me."

"Oh? Has he something to say?"

Dumbledore frowned at Harry's sharp tone. 

"He did not relay any messages -- beyond that he would like you to come talk to him directly. He expects to be ... available tomorrow. Go to his apartments after the end of breakfast -- by foot, cloaked. If he has company, he will make the door flare when you knock."

 

The Sunday morning edition of the Daily Prophet had a long article on the werewolf threat. Harry and Hermione read it together, both letting the food on their plates grow cold. None of appealed to Harry, anyway, as his stomach twisted in slow knots at the words on the page. He read about how werewolves were inherently savage. He read about the failure of the Wolfsbane potion to protect society. He read a quote from Durand's sister, saying how she feared Trent would attack her children. 

"What utter shit," he said, shifting back from the table. 

Hermione didn't even twitch at his language. "Let's just affirm everyone's fears!" she exclaimed in irritation. "This isn't reporting! This is pandering to the basest instincts of the masses. The papers should counter ignorance, not foster it!" 

Harry looked up at the staff table. Remus was not there, just as he had not been at lunch or dinner, yesterday. Harry had seen owl after owl wheeling into the tower, bearing red burdens for him. His throat constricted. 

_Do not be alone with me, in secret, this week._

 

Harry knocked, then waited. No one answered. He wondered if Severus had not made it back, after all, or if he was still asleep. Harry knocked again. After counting to ten, he gave the password. He was just peering into the kitchen when his father emerged from the bathroom. 

"A bit impatient?"

Harry shrugged, trying to hide his relief. "You picked the time. I was afraid something had happened to you." 

"Just the normal calls of nature. Nothing that requires a Gryffindor hero to fix."

Harry looked sharply at him. "You have an attitude problem, you know that?"

"And you don't?"

"I," said Harry archly, "can blame it on you." He was pleased that Severus laughed. "Let's sit in the kitchen," Harry urged. "Make me some of that sweet, spiced milk. Everything else will be horrible."

Severus's expression soured. He nodded once, then turned away. Harry followed him into the kitchen. 

 

Severus cooked much like he brewed, with concentration, precision, and grace. He did not speak until he had placed a mug of foamy, pistachio-topped milk in front of Harry, then sat down across from him. 

He scowled then. "You know what I'm going to say, I expect."

"Yes." Harry took a sip of the milk. "Stay away from Remus." 

"Yes."

"Remus hasn't done anything." Harry felt as if he were reciting a lesson. _Remus never does anything,_ his mind whispered traitorously. _He just pretends not to see._

Severus put far more conviction into his words. "He's been in communication with those ... creatures. They plan to use him, somehow." 

Harry shivered. "He won't hurt me." The words came out disturbingly quiet and small.

"He won't have the chance," Severus snarled. In a quick grab, he seized Harry's wrist and pulled it up in a painfully tight grip. "Those werewolves _continue_ to contact him; do you understand me? If they believed they could not persuade him, they would GIVE UP!" 

Harry forced himself not to show pain. He avoided his father's eyes by looking down at the table. He could not argue the point; he had no idea how long the WFU werewolves would persist. He did not even know how much Remus might try to play a doubt to his advantage.

"So you won't let me meet him, even if you know when and where?"

"Very good." With a little push, Severus let go. 

Relieved, Harry looked up. He dropped his hands under the table to rub at his wrist. "I will anyway."

His father's face darkened. The threat implied in the way he leaned forward was hampered by the protective width of the table. "You will _not._ "

"Do you think you can stop me?" Harry challenged recklessly. 

"I'll take every point I can from Gryffindor."

"You do anyway!" 

"I will tell _him_ I have forbidden it. Lupin knows to fear me."

"Why should Remus be afraid of _you?_ "

A truly evil look crossed Severus's face. He sat back. His voice was quietly cold as he said, "I might misbrew his potion."

"What?" Harry shrieked.  

"It could happen." Severus examined his stained fingernails. "It's a very complex one."

"You wouldn't _dare._ "

Severus lunged to his feet and leaned across the table to hiss in Harry's face. "Of course I'd dare, you idiot boy! My control over you may be limited, but my control over him is not! If _you_ won't listen, I'll see to it that _he_ does." 

Harry, his heart pounding, thought frantically and tried to evaluate what might be negotiable.

"I'll agree not to be alone with him," he said, "even scheduled, if you will allow me to be with him and someone else."

"Lupin is an accomplished duellist!" 

"So am I," Harry said baldly. "Hermione and I could take him, or Draco and I could."

His father flinched back. "And if Draco betrays you with him?"

"I find that hard to imagine."

"I find it quite easy!"

"Draco working with Remus?" Harry sneered. "They're barely civil." 

"The servants of the Dark Lord do not choose their companions."

"Neither Draco nor Remus is Voldemort's servant!"

Severus sat. He stared incredulously at Harry. "Are you mad? Draco will be. He merely waits to be asked." He snorted contemptuously. "And he only waits because he is a Malfoy, and his pride requires it." 

"Oh, was that why he was out by the lake with me, getting all upset about the baker's girl?" Harry protested. "She was one of the ones kissed. He _fancied_ her."

Severus looked honestly surprised. "Had he known she was half-blood?" he asked.

Harry shook his head. The sense of confusion that had overwhelmed him when speaking to Draco returned. He whispered, "No."  

Severus nodded coldly. "He'll get over it. By next week, he'll rant about how she deceived him."

"Deceived? She wouldn't give him the time of day, he told me. And he knows _I'm_ half-blood!" 

"You don't count, and we are getting distracted! Draco is not suitable for your defense."

"Hermione?"

"Hermione," Severus's lips tightened around the name like it was a wedge of lime --  " _and_ Weasley. Not Granger alone."

"All right," Harry conceded. It was convenient, he thought, that his father hadn't specified which Weasley. There were so many.

Severus slumped forward, leaning his forehead into one spread hand. "I hate this," he said. 

Harry was surprised, and in some way honored, by the honesty of that. "Me too," he offered.

Severus looked wryly over at him. "Any ideas? I'd prefer not to be at your throat the whole time we're together."

Harry turned his cup nervously in his hands. "Want some help in the lab?" he suggested. "You'll feel better if you're doing something. I probably will too." 

Severus nodded. His mouth twisted in a wry smile. "I'm going to say something I would have sworn would never pass my lips."

"Oh?"

"You're a fine boy, Harry." He stood up. "Let's go, then." 

 

*********

 

Harry wanted to say something. It was quite easy to tell, Severus thought. The boy would look up, his eyes would widen slightly as he started to open his mouth ... and then he would look away again. Severus set up two cauldrons, laid out the ingredients for three potions, and did his best to appear calm. He had the shamed suspicion that he had hurt the boy earlier. He wasn't sure how anyone, least of all Dumbledore, who was reputedly insightful, could possibly have thought he had the maturity to handle this. Lily had known better. 

He dared another glance at Harry. Even the boy, he thought, was handling it better than he was. Now, though, his usual quiet trust was gone, and Severus found he missed it. Harry moved and spoke carefully around him, as he had around his gormless godfather. Severus hated it. 

"What should I make?" Harry asked finally. That clearly wasn't the question that had been trying to come out. 

"Set up a third cauldron and brew a batch of Flame-Stop Potion, will you? Use the oil-based formula -- someone will be painting it into wood."

"I hope I can use a textbook?"

"If you think I'd trust you without one...." Severus growled. 

Harry grinned. "Oh good. My memory of third-year potions isn't that good." 

Severus continued to crumble fairy wings between callused fingers as he jerked his head towards the front of the room. "The blue book on the second shelf."

Harry came back with the proper book and a cauldron. He was using the latter as a basket to carry all the necessary components. Severus wondered if he would need to tell Harry to clean the cauldron after that, but Harry, unbidden, scoured it with a magically summoned wind. 

It wasn't until after Harry had started to prepare the potion components, and the scent of cut iceweed was sharp in the air, that he finally asked the question. 

"What did you make, last week?" He ducked his head as the words came out, all in a rush. 

Severus's face darkened. From the boy's manner, he suspected Harry had some idea how unwelcome that line of inquiry was. Severus looked away. He did not want to describe what he had done, and let the words make it yet more real. 

"Was it used in the attacks?" Harry persisted. 

"Yes." _And that's all you need to know._

"Can you make a counter-potion?" 

Severus growled. He wished it were that easy. Reopening vulnerability to Dementors was simple -- it was blocking it that had been hard. Delivery to an unknown raiding party was more of a problem. "We are hardly likely to be able to get attacking Death-Eaters to drink a potion," he observed caustically. "I am, however, planning to contaminate some of the stock I make for the Dark Lord with time-charmed morning glory, so that it wears off unexpectedly quickly."

"Brilliant! Show me how?"

Severus smirked. "Certainly."

"But about the counter-potion," Harry pressed. "Could you make something that works by fumes or skin contact, and make a sort of grenade?"

"A what?"

"A ... a thing that explodes when you throw it. With the potion inside."

Severus frowned at him for a moment, puzzling this out. He had certainly seen potions that exploded, but generally the explosion was itself the desired effect. Harry seemed to mean ....  He remembered, the autumn of his first year, choking under a barrage of spore-filled dried mushrooms. Sirius had discovered how they released a smelly cloud when stomped on, and had collected them carefully and laid an ambush. Lupin had helped with that attack. He had probably considered it harmless. "Like a dried puffball?" he asked distantly.

"Sort of -- more forceful, though." 

Severus closed his eyes and rubbed the sides of his nose. The explosion would deliver droplets of the potion. He could make something that worked that way. Of course, he needed something that would cause the explosion without damaging the counter-potion. He thought aloud. "Sulfur salts -- no, that would neutralize -- puffballs? Phoenix droppings, perhaps -- I can get those...." His eyes snapped open. Harry was looking hopefully at him. "It might be possible. But someone would need to reach the attack sites, in time."

"Could Dumbledore provide the counter-potion to likely targets of the attacks?" Harry asked. 

"Perhaps." Severus evaluated the idea. "If I can concoct it with no irreplaceable components, I suppose I could make enough for wide distribution. That would even the field, a bit, if the targets used them as soon as an attack started." 

 

Severus taught Harry how to imbue morning glory seeds with a time charm to delay or halt magical effects, then set him to brewing Flame Stop Potion. He worked himself on creating several explosive potion bases that might be compatible with the counter-potion. Hours later, as Harry was covering his finished potion, the boy suddenly spoke.

"I'm starving," he said.

Severus shot him a sharp look. "Too long since breakfast?"

"I didn't really have any."

Severus snorted, remembering how he had to tell Harry to eat, after he had first arrived. "Honestly, Potter -- feed you regular meals for a month or two, and you're suddenly dependent on them!"

Harry laughed. 

"Speaking of which, let's see how tall you are." Severus motioned Harry over to the wall, and checked him against the marks. Harry had grown only an inch in the past week and a half. "The growing has slowed, at least," he observed. "Try easing off the muscle relaxant." 

"Okay." Harry stepped away from the wall. "So ...." He looked nervous, again, but he did not delay, this time. "I have to leave in about half an hour, but there's something I need to tell you, first." 

Severus was immediately wary. He tried to guess what Harry might have done. "You visited Lupin, yesterday."

"No."

Severus relaxed slightly. _He's courting the Mudblood girl, perhaps?_ The thought didn't upset him as much as he might have expected. "Things have vastly improved with Granger?" he hazarded. "I've seen you with her." 

"Sort of." Harry stepped back, so he was against the wall again. He looked like he was waiting to be executed. "She figured it out." 

The long-feared news seemed to seize Severus's breath. He could not speak. It was only now, discovering that he felt no anger and presumed no fault on Harry's part, that he realized he had long regarded this as inevitable.

Harry was looking pleadingly back at him. "She confronted me in front of Ron, so I had to tell him. She had a picture of you in school, and told me to take off my glasses...."

"And you did?"

"No, but she's fast with a Summoning Charm. Anyway, I took them someplace safe, warded it madly, and then told them. And Ginny. I've told them no one else can know, and impressed on them that I could be killed if anyone finds out--"

"I am a much more definite kill," Severus said harshly.

"I glossed over that bit." 

It took Severus a second to understand. Harry's friends might be willing to sacrifice their most hated teacher and the head of their rival house. They would guard Harry. "Wise." Severus sank down onto his stool. He was vaguely aware of Harry stepping closer. 

"I'm sorry. I really did try." Harry picked up a vial of dragon's blood and turned it pensively in his hands. "And actually, it's probably safer this way. It turns out they've been blabbing more incriminating stuff around trying to investigate than they ever would have if I'd told them -- looking for photographs of me, saying I'd been seen in the dungeons, and that sort of thing." 

Severus flinched. He looked at Harry. "What do you think the damage is?" he asked through gritted teeth. 

"Probably containable. It was all in Gryffindor, except for Malfoy. Colin's not likely to figure anything out unless he's bludgeoned with it. I brought in Ginny because she was the only one who seemed dangerous."

"Malfoy?" _Malfoy is loyal to Voldemort. I need to explain away whatever he knows._

"Just the thing I told you about before -- he saw me go into your lab. Did I tell you?"

"No."

"Oh. It was a few weeks ago." 

"A few weeks!"

"He told Ron and Hermione, to try to get information out of them. I was much more worried about that, because they bargained with him. I'm sure I told you that part. It was over Maitland."

"And you're not worried about what he knows?" Severus decided he would need to press Draco for information, as Harry seemed unable to tell him anything useful. First, though, he had to figure out what he was to pretend to know, and why. 

"Not really. He was just getting at them, I think. He hasn't shown any interest." Harry bit his lip. "I think Ron's more dangerous. He hates you, and he's not talking to me now, and he wouldn't betray me intentionally, but you know how he loses his temper."

Severus found himself more interested in what Harry had not said than what he had. "But Granger is friendly?" _She, a Muggle-born girl that I have been particularly unfair to, hates me less than a Wizarding boy whom I have treated not much worse than he usually deserves?_

"She doesn't like that I'm spending time with you, but she doesn't hold it against me." Harry shrugged. His shoulders stayed hunched up as if he were caught in a cold wind. He looked miserable. "Ron was what I expected, really. He's not angry with me for being related to you; he's angry with me for liking you. He can tell himself that it's my behavior that upsets him and he's not being unfair, so he might maintain it for quite a while." 

"The constant armor of righteousness," Severus sneered. "How very Gryffindor."

Harry straightened. A disturbingly cold look crossed his face. "And of course," he said sarcastically, "Slytherins don't do that. You would never protect yourself from your actions with righteous fantasies." 

Severus felt his face go blank with the effort not to flinch back from the cut. He turned and stirred his cauldron, pretending to evaluate whether or not the mixture was cool enough to bottle. It clearly wasn't. It occurred to him that Harry could be referring to Lupin, as well as his time following Voldemort, and any argument would be almost an admission of guilt.

"Have you any other orders?" Harry demanded. "Besides avoiding the only other adult who sometimes seems to care about me?"  

Severus, in a relieved flash of genuine, uncomplicated anger, dropped his ladle and turned on the boy. "Don't whine! The headmaster, for all his other concerns, most certainly cares about you, and Molly Weasley, though you may not like her protective expressions of it, visibly loves you, with fewer other concerns placed above you. I could continue."

"Sorry." Harry momentary look of apology faded into defiance. "But Remus is the closest to family. You know that. Ron's mum has too many of her own to worry about, and my relationships with each of them to consider." 

"Lupin is far more important to you than he ought to be." 

Harry shook his head. "Remus is _exactly_ as important to me as he should be." He bit his lip. "May I go back to your rooms? There's something I want from mine."

"Go, then." 

Harry paused in the door. Severus glared at him. "What?"

"Tuesday?" Harry hazarded. 

Severus sighed. He hoped Harry couldn't tell how much of that was relief. Some days, he had no idea why Harry wanted to continue to meet with him. "Wednesday," he countered. "We've become too predictable. Someone will notice."

"Okay," Harry agreed. 

He put up his cloak, and the door opened and closed. Severus was alone. He wondered what Harry might want from his rooms. For a moment, he was tempted to follow, just to make sure it was nothing dangerous. A minute later, it occurred to him that Harry might be angrier than he seemed -- perhaps he wanted to clear everything out. He imagined walking in to find the room empty, abandoned, with drawers and cabinets half open.... Something clenched painfully in his chest. Fiercely, Severus glared at the cauldron in front of him. Harry wanted something from his room. That was all. When they talked next, it would be better.

 


	57. Personal Matters

 

Harry slipped into Severus's rooms and bolted for his own bedroom as soon as the door clicked closed. He got James's letter from the wardrobe, then kicked off his shoes and shivered under the covers for a moment. _Sometimes talking makes things better,_ he thought, _and sometimes it makes things worse._ He pulled the bedcovers more tightly around himself. _We were both upset. Next time will be better._

He looked at the red parchment and remembered how Remus had sniffed at it, with that heartbreaking look of longing on his face. Harry had offered to give him the original and keep the copy, but Remus had refused, saying he spent too much time with ghosts, already, and the scent would fade, in normal time. 

Carefully, Harry opened the first letter. 

 

> My dear son,
> 
> First, let me tell you that I love you very much. I hope this is unnecessary sentimentality, and that I lived long enough for you to know that, heart and soul, but the assurance arm of Gringotts has doubtless made clear to you the propensity of Potters to die in messy glory at a young age. 

 

Harry had forgotten the intensity of it, balanced by the little smiley face with messy hair. He continued reading, and the letter continued as it had begun, with intensity lightened by continuous humor. It made him think of a more secure Sirius, or a more adult Fred and George. There were details he had forgotten, like the strained peas, that gave him a sense of Lily and James as a young couple, with separate and largely complimentary opinions and styles of interaction, trying to raise a baby in some normal way, while knowing they might die at any time. 

There was a great deal of pain in it, which he supposed was to be expected from a document written to tell a secret after the writer's likely death. 

> ...if I died when you were young-- and it doesn't look unlikely-- I want to put as much of myself and her, and even him, into this as possible. 

_This was his goodbye,_ Harry thought. _To a child he suspected would not remember him. And I don't. I have stories that seem to be of different people, and I have this._

> ... your father ... and our complicated and often painful relationships with him.

_There's pain there, too -- guilt and remorse, and not a little fear, and the expectation I would never know Severus, either._

After that came the little section on Death Eaters, a term he optimistically hoped Harry would not know, and the explanation of Herem, with its implication James had already had sex at fifteen. 

 

> My deepest misgiving was that I knew they still loved each other-- they do even now-- and while I knew she loved me as deeply, I was afraid to increase her sadness at the losses of her past.

That, Harry thought, was quite a statement. James must have both loved and trusted Harry's mother very much.He wondered, belatedly, what Severus thought when he read that. _Was it affirming, or patronizing, or just a reminder of how it was by his choice that he didn't have her?_

Next came the story of the miscarriages, full of implicit longing for a child, and of Harry's conception, and of Severus's French lover. James's reaction was a twisting balance of revulsion and admiration. Harry thought he was, in this manner, far more like James than Severus. He could not imagine sacrificing anyone. He supposed it was a skill painfully acquired. 

Next came the casting of the Paternity Charm. When James related the increasing distance between the couple and Severus, Harry wondered if that was really all due to changes in Severus, as James depicted, or if some of it might have stemmed from James and Lily's guilt and their fear of revealing their secret. As James, in the letter, "rambled" about having what Severus could not, with part of that being the child Severus had not known he had fathered, Harry felt increasingly certain that their guilt had contributed to Severus's estrangement from them. 

> So many parts of this are such a waste. If I could go back to first year and be kind to him.... Don't indulge yourself in the joy of retaliation. It's not worth it. There-- that's my fatherly advice for you.

That, Harry thought, had stuck with him the most strongly, perhaps because it was explicitly advice, or perhaps because everything in the Marauder's document came from that bitter kernel of regret. The letter reverted to practical matters, before returning again to sentiment:

 

> I wish I could say everything I want to say. The longer I work on this, the more certain I am I will die, and soon. I want you to know me. I want you to know I love you. I want you to know how I walked with you and sang to you when you could not sleep. I want you to be mine, but it hurts me to have stolen you from him. My stolen child. Be his, as well, if you can. 
> 
> Your loving home-father,
> 
> James Potter

This time, the tears had no trouble coming. 

 

Harry left his room at the last possible minute, but stopped at the kitchens long enough to grab food -- some sort of meat pasty -- before racing out to the pitch. When he got there, he was surprised to see two people flying. One was definitely Draco. He didn't recognize the other boy. 

The stranger called over to Draco and pointed down. Draco gestured for him to follow then dove down at Harry. Harry refused to duck, and Draco's robes brushed his shoulder before the Slytherin landed a few feet past him. The stranger landed more cautiously, a few feet away. 

"Hello!" Draco said cheerily. "I was wondering if you'd forgotten." He gestured to the stranger. 

"Harry, this is Adrian Lawson, the new Slytherin Chaser. Lawson, this is Harry Potter." 

Harry felt a bit angry. He had left Severus early to watch Draco coach? He managed a bored sigh. "Really Draco -- you can't expect me to train your team for you." 

"Oh, but you should! You could teach him all the stupidest moves."

"Not with you watching." 

Draco laughed. "I don't expect you to teach him anything, Harry. He just wanted to get in some flying time, so I told him he could come out with me."

Harry shrugged. He was dismayed to realize he felt slighted. Certainly, he couldn't expect mindless play with him to be more important to Draco than training a new team member.

"Here's an exercise for you, Lawson," Draco said. "Try to keep up." He winked at Harry. "Far middle hoop!" he shouted. Harry kicked off. 

Lawson was left far behind. He got faster as his confidence increased, and was coming in only a few lengths behind them ten minutes later. Draco then tagged Harry. 

"It!" he yelled, and took off. 

The game of tag completely lost Lawson. Not only could he not turn quickly enough to follow, he also nearly fell off his broom trying to duck when Draco buzzed him. Harry decided he _was_ being used for training, and he disliked it. In a fit of annoyance, he stopped chasing Draco and flew up to hover high above the pitch. 

Draco seemed to have been waiting for this. "Figure eights," he called to Lawson. "Ten times. I want to watch." A moment later, he was hovering beside Harry, high above the goal hoops. Harry ignored him. 

"You realize, of course, that I am using you for political leverage, far more than for Quidditch training."

"Oh." Harry's annoyance was completely derailed by this confession. He struggled with the idea of association with him being anything other than a political liability to a Malfoy. 

"You are welcome to reciprocity, of course," Draco offered. He sounded quite serious. "Should you wish to enhance your status among the pureblood students, that is." 

"Thank you, I suppose, but --" Involuntarily, Harry imagined being introduced to a lot of sneering Slytherins. What would he be to them? A half-blood, and one who messed up Voldemort's plans, at that. He waved his hands in a gesture of frustration. "I'ma half-blood, Draco, remember? Doesn't that rather limit things with the pureblood students? The ones who _care_ about that, I mean, which seems your lot."

Draco shrugged. The motion was small and graceful. He was watching his teammate, now. "As I told you once, some wizarding families are better than others. You're half-blood, but that half is Potter, quite respectable, and, apart from that, you are rich, famous, and magically powerful. You'd be limited to modernist families for a pureblood wife, but many of the traditionalists might consider you as an associate, if properly presented." 

He looked away from Lawson to meet Harry's eyes. Harry tried not to reveal his tension under that steady gaze. He had never considered his potential status among Slytherin purebloods -- they were the enemy. Now, under his increasing confusion, he couldn't help realizing that he wasn't a Potter, in the sense that mattered to Draco. 

"Flint was a half-blood, you know," Draco offered. "It didn't damage his authority as Quidditch Captain."

"A half-blood, and he let you say that to Hermione!"

Draco shrugged. His pale eyes went back to watching his new Chaser, who was just finishing his circuit. "His mother threw his father out a bit after he was born -- with reason, by all accounts. She denounces the affair as hormonal insanity. Flint has no affection for Muggles." 

"Oh." Harry took a deep breath. "So, is this Chaser of yours a ... er ... modernist?"

Draco snorted. "Oblivious, more like. But he admires you as a Quidditch player -- an enemy, but a fine Quidditch player. When he goes back to the Slytherin common room, he'll burble about how Harry Potter flew with us, and what Potter said, and what Potter did, until other people from our year threaten to strangle him." 

"Oh -- and for anyone who hasn't noticed, Malfoy's now hanging out with Harry Potter?" Harry said, amused.

"Exactly."

Harry laughed. "All right -- I don't mind. Let's go and critique his flying, then." 

 

Harry came into Gryffindor tower tired, happy, ravenously hungry, and with only a minute to change into less sweaty clothes before dinner. He ran up to his room, changed, ran down, and was surprised to find Ron waiting, arms crossed and a look of fury on his face, at the bottom of the stairs. 

"Dinner?" Harry tried. 

"Helping coach the Slytherins, now, Harry?" Ron spat. The few remaining students in the room fell silent. 

"We were just flying," Harry said. He tried to step around Ron. Ron moved to block him. 

"Going to ask for re-sorting?" Ron taunted. "Oh, but you couldn't do that, of course. You wouldn't want to cost _Draco_ his Seekers position. That might hurt his feelings."

"If it came to that, he'd probably poison me," Harry joked, hoping to lighten the mood. 

"What the hell are you DOING?"

"Flying with a friend," Harry said. "And he brought someone along for me to meet. Now get out of my way. I want dinner!"

 

The incident did not help matters with Ron, at all. Harry thought Ron might also be passing along a bit of the moral superiority being shoveled down on him by Ginny, who never missed a chance to look at him with contempt. Harry would have hated her for it if he hadn't seen how hurt she seemed when her brother was looking elsewhere. She had taken it personally, he suspected. She was in love with Dean, and Ron had as good as said to her that she could expect no better than to be killed. He wondered if Hermione had explained that to Ron, yet.

By Monday night, Harry was harboring fantasies of sneaking off and murdering Voldemort by any means, fair or foul, thus reducing the complications in his life by at least two thirds. He supposed it wouldn't resolve the pureblood/mixed-blood/Muggle-born conflict, but it would probably bring down the level of hysteria. At least people would be acting on their own beliefs, rather than out of fear of the Dark Lord. That would be some sort of improvement. 

At Monday dinner, he sat with Ginny and Hermione and watched Ron glower. 

"I feel awful," Hermione said. Harry looked questioningly at her, and she ducked her head. "When I'm with you, I feel like I'm betraying him, and when I'm with him, I feel like I'm betraying you." 

Harry shrugged. "He's where he chooses to be."

"And he says the same about you, you know." 

Harry tensed. "It's not the same."

Hermione opened her mouth, but before she could reply, the headmaster had stood and tapped on his glass for silence. The murmuring of the assembled students stopped. Harry felt his heart clench, and he checked again to see that his father was present, although he had looked up to see him not a minute earlier. 

"Good evening, everyone. You can relax -- no disasters, tonight. I have a small, and I hope welcome, announcement for you. On Halloween, in the tradition of banishing malicious spirits and encouraging friendly ones, we shall have our usual feast. Afterwards, for fourth-years and up, we will hold a ball. Either formal or fancy dress will be acceptable. I ask only that no one be unidentifiable -- an unfortunate, but I feel necessary, precaution. To add to your enjoyment, Friday morning classes will be canceled -- Friday, the first of November, that is."

Dumbledore gestured beneficently out at them. "That is all. You may eat." 

And with those words, the food appeared. 

 

Harry poked at his food. This was it -- Hermione had said to ask her when the dance was announced. Now it had been. He glanced at her, and was relieved that she was looking elsewhere. Did he still want to ask her? He found he wasn't certain. Perhaps his impulse the other night had just been gratitude for her understanding. On the other hand, there was no one else he wanted to ask. He glanced down the table at Zoë. Perhaps he would enjoy going with her, but he was hesitant to add substance what he now decided was his first pleasant flirtation. 

He did not mention the ball to Hermione when they walked up to Gryffindor, while they did their homework, or when he said goodnight to her. He readied himself for bed, ignoring Ron's glares, and fell asleep within a minute of lying down. 

 

At breakfast on Tuesday, Harry was still undecided about approaching Hermione. She seemed to be looking at him frequently. He couldn't decide if that was a good sign or a bad one. While he was fretting about it, an unfamiliar barn owl dropped a letter in front of Harry. It hit the rim of his porridge bowl and bounced in the right direction to stay dry. Harry picked it up and unrolled it. 

 

> Harry,
> 
> Mate, you're like a second little brother to us. (Except that we haven't beat you up much.) Or broken your stuff. (Or harassed you nearly enough.) 
> 
> We'll bring you what you want, but that quantity is ridiculous. One pack and a good way to hide it, and if you want more, fly us a note.
> 
> Oh, with the Arrows game delayed and all, we'll be spending the weekend. Warn Ron for us, will you? And don't warn Filch. 
> 
> \-- F (& G)

 

Charms was horrible. They were going back over what they had learned in the last three weeks, so there was no hope that anything interesting would be introduced. Hermione was sitting with Ron, and Harry, who had arrived early, had nobody sit with him. It was probably just that the others had entered in pairs, but he couldn't help imagining that they were siding with Ron. He gave up on taking notes and composed a reply to Fred and George:

 

> Hi twins!
> 
> Ron's not speaking to me -- perhaps you better write to him yourselves. If you could coax him into a room with me when you get here, that might help. Hermione and I are on better terms, again, at least. The dance has finally been announced, and I'm thinking of inviting her, but I'm not certain, anymore. I wouldn't mind a couple of older brothers, but could we skip the beating up part?
> 
> \-- Harry

 

After classes, he went back up to the Gryffindor common room. Hermione walked towards him as if she had been waiting for him. Her usually overstuffed school bag seemed almost empty. 

"Hi Harry." 

"Hello."

"Could we talk?" Hermione prompted. "Um... in the old place?"

"'Course." 

They left together. Hermione did not say anything while they walked down to the Room of Requirement. A faint scent -- something Harry knew he should recognize -- tickled in the air about her. She let him call up the room, and he made it his usual one for talks. She looked at it with a wry smile as she entered. 

"What's up?" Harry asked, as he sat down on one of the low couches. 

She sat with one knee pulled up, her body twisted on the couch to face him. "With the dance announced," she said, "I realized I still had something of yours."

It wasn't books she had in her bag, at all. It was the leather trousers. Harry took them eagerly, then raised them to his face and inhaled the scent of them.

"You have no idea how much that was bothering me."

"That I had them?"

"That scent. All the way down here. I couldn't place it." Harry stood up and held the trousers in front of him. "Damn! They'll be far too short."

"It's leather!" Hermione rolled her eyes in exasperation. "You can stretch any natural material with charms." She held out her wand, then hesitated. "You should put them on first."

"Er...." 

Hermione closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. "I won't peek." 

As Harry changed, he realized that the robes made this hardly necessary. It was only during the final squirm and zip that any of him might have been visible. Still, he let her stay that way until he was ready, and then took off the robes. 

"Okay," he said. 

Hermione giggled. "You're _not_ wearing them with that jumper!" 

Harry looked impatiently at her. "We are adjusting the fit," he reminded her, "not modeling." 

"Hm... Too short to extend it all at the ankle."

"Oh?"

"It will thin too much. But if I do it in a few places...." Hermione pointed her wand and cast a quick spell. The leather slithered like an encompassing snake down Harry's thighs, and the trousers were a bit longer. Then she did it just below his knees, then, finally at his ankles. 

"Perfect," she said, with obvious satisfaction. "Turn." 

Harry turned his back to her. "Checking?"

"Just your arse."

He whipped around. "Hermione!"

"Well, that is the point of these, isn't it?" she asked. "Remember to walk away from people you like, now. Frequently." 

Harry laughed, and sat down again. The leather felt smooth and warm, and it stretched nicely at his arse and knees. 

"Thank you for the advice."

"And the spells?"

"Of course." Hermione took a deep breath. "So, how are things with, er, Professor Snape?"

"Not so great." Harry sighed. "Oh -- I need you and Ginny with me, if I want to talk to Remus." 

"What?"

"It's the latest rule. 'Granger _and_ Weasley,' he said. At least that leaves me with options." 

Hermione managed a slight smile. "I suppose. You agreed?"

"Yes. It could be worse. Don't ask," Harry added hastily. He slouched, but that made the pants uncomfortably tight at the waist. He straightened again. "I'm not used to fighting with him, anymore. That's all we did, on Sunday."

"All about Remus?"

"No. Part of it was about Draco." 

Hermione's eyes hardened. "Is he pushing you to take Draco as a friend?'

"What?" Harry stared at her. "God, no. He hates it. I'm not to associate with dangerous, untrustworthy, Death Eater brats. Draco's just leading me on to kill me, and all that." Harry made a disgusted face. "He sounds like Ron." 

Hermione choked. "Don't say that in front of him!"

"Either 'him.'" 

They giggled companionably. Hermione turned to lean back against Harry, and he gave a very different sort of sigh as he settled an arm around her. 

"What's with you and Draco, anyway?" she asked casually. Harry could feel her quick heartbeat under his forearm. 

"Damned if I know!" Harry shrugged, enjoying the way it shifted his chest against her back. "He's being friendly."

"Since you drove Ron off?"

"Since the Kerner Dark Detector. Actually friendly, not just 'oh, be my little social trophy' like he was our first year."

"But you decided to be friendly back." 

"It's an experiment." Harry frowned. "I -- it has a lot to do with James," he confessed.

"James, your-- Potter?"

"You can say, 'your dad.' He basically adopted me, right? Ritually, if not legally. Anyway, yeah. He sent me two long letters along with the Paternity Charm information. One was entirely about this whole feud between him and Severus, and between Sirius and Severus, and what a waste it all was. I thought maybe I could end this thing with Draco before we had children to drag into it."

"Oh." Hermione shifted and curled up a little. "But Draco is a nasty, malicious bigot."

"And Severus was a vengeful, unsocialized swot, and James a rich, spoiled bully, by his own account. I'm violent, self-righteous, and moody, to be honest. Someone's got to stop at some point, and say 'I'm not going to retaliate.'" 

"Don't expect too much."

"I've already got much more than I expected." 

To Harry's surprise, Hermione turned and kissed him on the cheek. 

"You're a good person, Harry."

"Thanks." Harry grinned. "So ... Come to the Halloween Ball with me?"

She laughed. Her voice was a bit higher than usual. "I'd love to. But ...."

"You've got a partner, already."

"Not for the dance! If you don't mind ... I said I'd go to Hogsmeade with Ron, this weekend. Not _that way_ , you know, just ... to be with him."

"And he wouldn't like me along."

"Probably not. I'll try to talk him into it, though."

Harry shrugged. "Whatever. I get more time with Fred and George, then."

"Am I still invited to the dance?"

Harry frowned at her. "You remember what I said about controlling your friends, don't you? At Florean's?"

"Yes."

"So, yes, of course you are still invited. I'd be friends with Ron myself, if he would, and I can't be angry with you for trying to hold things together. Even if I hated him, though, you could be his friend and still go out with me."

"Good." Hermione gave him a nervous smile. "I suppose I can't object to Draco, then."

"No. You can't."

Hermione's brow creased. Sighing, Harry drew her close again. "Are we done negotiating?" he asked softly. When she did not answer, he nuzzled under her bushy hair and kissed the side of her neck. Her body shivered against his own as she leaned back into his touch, and he felt a pleasant flush of power. 

"I'll take that as a yes," he whispered. He moved up to kiss her cheek, then her ear, but she twisted and put her lips to his, and pressed him back into the couch. They spent a long time kissing and touching in mostly safe areas, and Harry wondered, occasionally, if it was Hermione or age that made this so much easier than kissing Cho had been. 

 


	58. Abstractions

 

Harry was rather tired on Wednesday morning. He skipped breakfast, but since it was a Potions morning, took the time to brush his hair. 

"Good morning," Draco said cheerily. 

Harry, who was just about to sit down, stopped. He regarded Draco with overt suspicion. "You _like_ mornings, don't you?"

Draco stretched. "That depends what I was doing the night before. Sit down, Harry." 

Harry sat. 

"What do you think about the Halloween Ball?" Draco asked. 

Harry shrugged. "I knew already. They'd decided by the end of summer." 

"Have anyone you plan to ask?"

Harry nodded. "I'm going with Hermione."

Draco flinched back. "Hermione?"" he asked incredulously.

Harry frowned in puzzlement. "Who else would I ask?"

"I don't know, but you can do better than that!"

"I like Hermione!" Harry was indignant at the slight to his friend. "And she's beautiful. And clever." 

"Clever enough to be a complete pain! And she's not beautiful."

"She is!"

Draco opened his mouth to retort, then visibly caught himself. "De gustibus non disputandum est," he said tensely. He let out an audible breath. "You, at least, look presentable," he said. This seemed to Harry a firm change of subject. "Long hair will suit you." 

"Thanks." Harry looked curiously at Draco. The blond had his father's hair -- ethereally fair, fine, and straight. Harry thought it had looked better on Lucius, where length had given it substance. He hesitated. "Why don't you grow yours?"

"My father is not _dead,_ Harry." Draco's voice was sharp and cold -- much as Harry remembered it, but not as he had heard it recently. The thought of Lucius Malfoy did nothing to temper his response.

"No, he's in prison -- and not likely to get out in the next decade or two." 

"The Malfoys have more resources than you think!"

_To rescue a traitor when the Dark Lord will not?_ Harry thought scornfully. "Give it up, Draco," he said. 

Draco's pale face went pink with blood. Professor Snape, to Harry's relief, entered just then, saving them from the escalating fight. They worked beside each other in uncomfortable silence through the lesson. 

 

Harry and Draco walked to their Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson, not together so much as in proximity by happenstance. Draco pushed past him in the doorway and sat in their usual place. Harry, uncertain whether it would anger Draco more if he presumed to sit with him or if he slighted him by sitting elsewhere, hesitated. 

"Sit, Harry," Draco said firmly. 

_And that settles that,_ Harry thought. _He's not so very angry with me, then, just angry in general. I suppose I would be, too._ In mixed relief and annoyance, he sat beside Draco. 

"Got you well trained, hasn't he?" Ron's unexpected words were hard with disgust. Harry, despite himself, turned toward the voice. Next to Ron, Hermione was turning pink with embarrassment. She sent him an apologetic look. Ron didn't notice. "You'll look like a right pillock next to Crabbe and Goyle."

Beside Harry, Draco flinched. Harry thought mention of Crabbe hadn't helped anything. _Hasn't Ron noticed?_

To his surprise, Draco ignored Ron and turned on him, instead. 

"How can you possibly take that girl to a party? She betrayed you to me! She sits with him while he treats you like that! You said you wouldn't be friends with her again, and now you've invited her to the _ball?_ "

Harry felt his face burning. He glared at Draco. "Unlike some people," he said angrily, with a quick glance at Ron, " _Hermione_ has the decency to keep her fights with friends private." 

He stood, glad he had not unpacked his bag, and crossed the room to sit by Justin Finch-Fletchley. A minute later, he heard someone else moving. He forced himself not to turn his head until the door opened next. On the pretext of checking who had entered, Harry scanned quickly through the tables, and saw that both Draco and Ron were now alone. Hermione was sitting with Hannah Abbot. 

Professor Lupin walked up to the front of the class. His brow furrowed as he surveyed the class. It was a duelist's subtle but purposeful gaze. Harry could almost track his evaluation of their new alliances. Obviously satisfied, Remus smiled slightly at Harry, who scowled and looked at his book. 

_I know he doesn't like me with Draco, but he needn't look so pleased about it._

With a slight clearing of his throat, Remus started. "For the rest of this week," he said, "we are going to study the theory that will provide our practical exercises for the rest of the term -- combining spells."

There was a low rustle of students shifting. Even Harry straightened in his seat and looked up at the professor. 

"I know you've had years of being told how dangerous that is. I am going to tell you again. Combining spells is a tricky business. If either spell is miscast, the results can be unpredictable. Even harmless spells may combine dangerously. 

"To start, we will be learning spells specifically intended for combination. The first is _Exspira_ _._ Does anyone know what that does?" 

Justin leaned towards Harry. "It sounds like a death spell," he whispered. 

"No, it makes spells run out," Harry returned. 

"Justin, Harry," Remus said warningly, "would one of you care to share your comments?"

"It makes another spell end at a particular time," Harry said. 

Remus nodded. "Good, Harry. Raise your hand, next time, and I might award points." He tried to temper the rebuke with a smile, but Harry was again having none of it. 

"Next week," Remus said, "and the one thereafter, we will be learning spells that affect the duration of another spell. The following week, I will introduce the 'By Class' Spell, _Genio_ , which distributes the effect of a charm or hex among multiple targets. These, in their various permutations, should keep us busy until Christmas."

 

Harry found the class interesting, despite it being theory, and despite his simmering resentment at Ron, Draco, and Remus. 

"Fascinating stuff, isn't it? I can't wait to start."

Harry nodded at Justin. "Oh -- The DA's starting up, again."

Justin's forehead wrinkled in puzzlement. "But Lupin's brilliant!" 

"Yes, but some people aren't allowed to study with him. Are you in or out? It will be extra work."

"In, I suppose. Unless I'm too busy with revision."

Harry nodded. "It's always optional."

He was packing his bag when he heard his name. 

"Harry?" It was Remus. "Stay a minute, please." 

Harry stuffed his last book in his bag. "I can't."

"You won't, you mean."

"I'll come to your office after classes. Is that all right?"

Remus rubbed a hand across his brow. He looked weary and ill, and Harry, for a moment, felt sorry for him. 

"After classes, then," Remus said. His face tightened. "So get out." 

 

That, Harry thought glumly, as he left, required that he go find Hermione and ask her for a favor. He was spared the embarrassment of making the approach; Hermione was waiting for him by the stairs. 

"Harry?"

"What?'

"I'm sorry about --" She looked lost. "Ron was being horrible."

Harry nodded. "Not your fault." And it wasn't, he realized. Hermione hadn't actually done anything to him.

"But Malfoy--"

"Is not your fault either," Harry said sharply. "We were already fighting." He shrugged. "Will you chaperone me with Remus?"

Her face scrunched up as she tried not to laugh. "When?"

"After classes."

"Of course."

"Great! Let's go find the alternate Weasley." 

"And we need to start spreading the word about the DA."

"Right." 

 

 

Remus's face revealed nothing when he found the three of them at his door. Harry suspected his father had already had that talk with him. "Come in," the professor said. He sat in the armchair, and Harry settled on the near end of the couch. Ginny and Hermione stood awkwardly until Remus waved them closer. 

"You might as well sit."

Hermione settled next to Harry, and Ginny perched tensely next to her. 

"Well, professor?" Harry prompted.

Remus flinched. 

"I want to know what I did," he asked. "You scowled every time I looked at you."

"It was the way you smiled."

Remus blinked. "I shouldn't smile?"

"I know you don't like me being with Draco, but you don't have to look so pleased!" Harry flushed. Remus didn't look at all shamed or defensive, just confused. "Don't say you didn't notice," Harry warned. "I saw you checking who was with whom." 

Slowly, Remus nodded. "I did check that; I always do. I noticed you were not with Draco, and Hermione was not with Ron. He raised up his hands. "But I wasn't smiling because of that."

Harry crossed his arms across his chest, set his head low, and glowered.

"Harry! You looked glum, and I thought you would like the lesson, that's all."

"Oh." Harry felt himself blushing. He straightened slightly. "Sorry." He gave Remus a little apologetic smile. "I did like the lesson." 

"Well, good. It's nice to be right about something." Remus regarded him speculatively. "What was the break with Mr. Malfoy?"

Harry shrugged. "I expect it's just a spat. Ron was rude to me, and Hermione didn't defend me, and Draco thinks I shouldn't be taking her to the ball."

Remus hid his face in one hand. It didn't quite conceal his amusement. "God! Nothing like a social event to get a lot of young people tied in knots. It will blow over." 

"But that's not the problem with Ron," Hermione said.

Remus looked curious. Harry pulled out his wand.

"Harry?"

"Is this room secure?"

Remus waved dismissal, even as he shook his head. "I don't need the details. He found out something he shouldn't?"

"And he's not taking it well." 

"And there are the attacks!" Ginny burst out. "He doesn't _care._ It's all just Durand, and what this does to the Quidditch season." 

"Now, really --"

"She's right," Hermione interrupted. "He can tell you every match that's been rescheduled and tell you what decade that was last approved, and he doesn't even seem to _notice_ she's going out with a Muggle-born wizard." 

Remus held Harry's gaze a minute. Harry knew he himself wasn't upset with Ron over this, though he couldn't say why. He shrugged minutely, and Remus's attention moved to Hermione and Ginny.

"I think you are underestimating your friend's feeling." 

"You don't understand --!" Ginny began.

"Ginny, please," Remus said. "Listen for a moment. I think I may understand Ron, in this case, quite well." His eyes flicked down to the table. "Sirius was much the same way. Ron is more comfortable with concrete things than abstractions --"

"Nine dead people isn't _concrete?_ " Ginny raged. She silenced at a look from Remus. "Sorry, professor." 

"They victims are, for the most part, abstract to him, and the reasons they were killed are also, as are their connections to his life." Remus picked up a roll of parchment and turned it slightly in his hands. "To discuss them requires thinking about a range of social factions and views on blood purity, and wondering whether death or a Dementor's kiss is more horrible. I expect it will take Ron weeks to begin to say how he feels about something so complex and so ... removed from his day-to-day conversation.

"It's easy for him to talk about Trent Durand. Durand is a single person, whom he feels he almost knows. Durand has no connection to the conflict of which he is a victim. And it's Quidditch. Ron knows how to talk about Quidditch, so that's how he will couch it, but I don't believe that's lack of feeling -- it's what Ron knows how to express."

Hermione, quite suddenly, burst into tears. Ginny, who was staring furiously at the floor, made no move to comfort her, so Harry patted her awkwardly on the back, and she leaned into him, sobbing.

"But what about _her?_ " Ginny indicated Hermione as she lifted her glare to Remus. "She's not an abstraction. She's part of his life."

"Connecting 'Hermione'" -- Remus denoted a slice of air with his hands to represent Hermione -- "to 'Muggle-born'" -- a larger slice of air -- "is an abstraction. He knows the connection exists -- he's not unintelligent. I'm sure he understands the implications. He just can't internalize them." 

That was right, Harry realized. Ron was like that. If things got too complicated, he talked about the parts of them that he understood. He often talked too much about the parts of them that he understood.

Remus nodded at Hermione. "You are you. You were not murdered."

"But this is why it can go so far!" Hermione said angrily. "Because people don't want to make the connections." She wiped tears impatiently from her face.

"But isn't this part of what you value in Ron? That he sees you as _you,_ rather than as a Muggle-born girl or a prodigy, or some other _thing?_ " Remus shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I remember how frightening it was when he first saw me as a werewolf. He was one of those people I expect never to treat me as human again. But the next time we met, I was 'Professor Lupin' and he was better with me than some initially more tolerant people will ever manage to be." Lupin's face twisted in a brief smile. "Of course, that also means he can say terrible things about werewolves in my presence, but not notice what he has done." 

Harry nodded to himself. Remus met Harry's eyes before redirecting his attention to the girls. "This is Ron, and you know him. Explain it to him all you like, but don't think he is less caring because he doesn't have the words for it." 

Harry squeezed Hermione close, as much for his own comfort as hers. After a moment, he dared ask the question that had been distracting him. 

"Why Durand? Do you know?"

Remus flinched. "I had nothing to do with it, Harry. I swear I didn't."

"But do you _know?_ "

Remus sighed shakily as he sat back. "I have heard Randolph's speeches. He makes no secret of his strategy."

"I understood the Ministry officials," Harry retorted. "I could even sympathize with that. These are the people making and enforcing decisions. The enemy, if you will. But why some Quidditch player? He can't do anything for them, and he doesn't seem to have done anything against them."

"Durand was targeted because he was popular -- full stop. The only reason for his infection is so people will see someone they adore infected."

"Then they don't understand fame! People will turn on him; some already have. Don't they understand that?"

"No -- they don't." Remus put down the parchment. "Few people understand that, I think. You do. I do because I have watched you and your press." His eyes narrowed. "Randolph is a fool. The people who follow him are so desperate for change that any plan sounds good to them." 

"They are destroying their chances for mainstream support --"

"I know that, Harry!" 

"Then why can't I _trust_ you?" Harry screamed. 

There was a long silence. Hermione sniffled and said tremulously, "Harry, I'm sure you can --" 

Remus cut her off. 

"I think that's enough of a visit for this afternoon. Harry, your discretion still leaves much to be desired." He stood, and nodded formally to them. "Please come see me again, sometime." 

They found themselves in the hallway. Hermione's face had fresh tears, but she wasn't making any sound. Ginny looked anxious and hurt. Harry wanted to punch something. He found himself wishing he had never befriended Draco. He needed someone who would fight with him on any old insult. Ron would, of course, but he also might yell something about Harry's parentage. 

 

When he got back to his room, he found a sealed envelope sitting on his pillow.

"Where did that come from?" he asked Seamus, who was the only other person in the room.

"No idea."

Harry opened the envelope. Inside was a short note in Severus's precise script. 

> Please come to see me at dinnertime tonight. Use the box. 

Harry slipped the note into his inner pocket, took the box with the portkey from his bedside table and added that, as well, and then went down to the common room. When Hermione showed up, he told her he would not be at dinner, and suggested that she tell anyone who asked about him that he was off sulking. They spent a little while talking about the D.A. and drawing up a list of who still needed to be informed. Before people started gathering to go down to dinner, Harry went for a walk. He had to find someplace where no one would notice his abrupt disappearance. 

 

When he arrived in Severus's sitting room, he experienced a moment of disorientation. A small table was set in front of the fireplace, where he and his father had supped on his first night there, and it made the room seem smaller and more crowded. Harry looked around quickly. Severus was standing by the bookcase, before the painting of a storm-tossed ship. 

"First use of the portkey." Severus nodded. "Dinner should arrive momentarily. I expect they'll serve the Great Hall first." 

He crossed over to the table, and Harry took a better look at it. It was set for two, with glossy black plates contrasting with the white linen. Crystal -- cut water glasses and smooth goblets -- reflected brilliance from the light of the candles. Severus sat. His hair was clean and sleek, and glistened in the shifting light.

"Well?" he asked impatiently. "What's wrong?"

Harry had to think for a moment. "I ... I feel like I'm being seduced." Harry ducked his head apologetically at the admission. His father stared at him in surprise for a moment, then started to laugh in half-caught gasps. Harry grinned at him and sat down. Severus pushed his hair back. 

"Inspired by that sort of anxiety," he offered. "Which makes it funnier, I suppose. We've been upset too much; I thought it was time we had a pleasant visit, and pretending to be civilized can help." 

"Mm." Harry looked at the table. "I can worry about what goes where, rather than what you think of me." 

"Harry...." Severus picked up his empty goblet and looked searchingly at it. Finally, his focus made it across the table to Harry. "I approve of you."

Harry wasn't sure he believed that. His incredulity must have showed on his face, for Severus put the glass down with a sigh. 

"You are too trusting and too reckless, and at times that makes you careless. I worry about you. Nonetheless, I approve."

Harry swallowed. "Thank you." 

Dinner -- or at least wine, water, bread, and soup -- appeared. With obvious relief, Severus took a sip of the wine, then tore a roll and offered half to Harry. Harry took it with a nod and a secret flush of warmth. Severus gestured to Harry's goblet, which also had wine, although less of it. 

"I told them what I wanted. It's simpler than that we had last time. You should find it more ... drinkable."

Harry, once he was done with his mouthful of bread, tried the wine. It did taste better than the previous one, but Severus's comment gave him the feeling it was not as good, properly speaking.

"Better?"

"Yes. I'm hopelessly unsophisticated, right?"

Severus hmphed. "A sophisticated sixteen-year-old makes for a very boring adult -- well, either that, or Lucius Malfoy."

Harry tried the soup. It was soothingly warm, but unfamiliar in taste. "I suppose he's not boring."

"Not until one has passed the stage of fascination ... or terror, perhaps, depending on where one stands." 

Harry stifled a laugh. "Or fury."

"You would feel that way."

The laugh came out at that. 

"I've heard in the staff room that your schoolwork has improved." 

"Only because my friends aren't talking to me half the time." 

"You've nothing better to do?"

"Exactly."

Severus nodded. "A poor social life will do wonders for marks. I hated that about James -- he managed to be both popular and fairly successful, academically."

"Probably not as successful as he could have been. Fred and George are brilliant!"

"Those two?" 

"Really. Did I tell you about the Mood Wings?"

 

Harry told Fred and George stories until he made Severus laugh again. Severus ranted about the usual dismal quality of their schoolwork, and how it had been occasionally punctuated by brilliance. They reminisced about the swamp. Harry confessed that he had bankrolled Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and was a partner in it, and Severus choked on his lamb. 

"Gods, Harry, have you considered the liability problems?"

"Occasionally. That's why I called them on the blood use. I told them semen would do as well, and be legal." 

"You -- _what?_ "

"They were shocked. It was great!"

Harry thought the wine might be affecting him, a bit. The glass had refilled -- or rather, re-half-filled -- when empty. His father seemed more amused than disapproving, and Harry decided to dare a serious subject. 

"About Remus?"

"Harry...." 

"Just a quick thing? I know we can't be certain of him, but could you not put it so personally? It's just that this is _now_ and he is _that_ and everything's so separated _._ It's not _him_. He's a good person; you know he is." 

Unaccountably, Harry felt his eyes fill with tears, though he managed to keep any from spilling. His father smiled wryly into his wine. 

"I'm the master of the preemptive attack. I'll try to restrain myself."

"You're so _nasty_ to him."

"And _you_ love him. Did I mention I worry about how trusting you are?"

Harry thought dizzily that perhaps Severus was frightened by his own feelings for Remus, as well. "He's a good person," he argued vaguely. 

"You can't trust him."

"I know." 

Severus looked up sharply. "What prompted that?"

"He told me ... he said it was easier if I didn't."

Severus looked grim. "What has he got himself into, I wonder? I almost feel sorry for him." 

Harry gave him an incredulous look. 

"But only by moments." Severus put down his glass and sat back. "No more of Remus! We'll only upset each other."

"No Draco, then."

Severus looked at him sharply. "And what did young Malfoy do?"

"We had a little fight, that's all."

"About?"

"I'm taking Hermione to the Halloween Ball."

"Oh." 

A noticeable stillness followed Harry's offhand explanation. After a minute, he broke it tentatively. "Is that okay?"

"Hm? Oh, of course." Severus shifted in his chair. "How is Quidditch coming?"

Harry groaned. "It's awful when Ron and I are fighting, and now Ron and Ginny are fighting, too. We have team practice tomorrow, and I'm just hoping I can pull everyone through it. At least we're not Chasers or Beaters together." 

Severus smirked. 

"A pity you're not playing Slytherin this weekend." 

 

Harry returned to his room quite late. He saw Ron's eyes reflect the light from his wand for a moment, but they closed again.

"Ron?" Harry whispered. 

Ron's breathing deepened as he pretended to be asleep. 

 


	59. Adjustments

 

Ron ignored Harry the next morning. Harry stopped in front of his seat at lunchtime. 

"Could we talk?"

"When you were out again, last night? No."

"We have a match coming up."

"You're not getting me with that 'for the good of the team' rot, again." 

"It's not rot! Do you want to lose to Ravenclaw because you don't --" Harry caught himself. Everyone in earshot would speculate wildly about any vague thing he said. "We need to discuss this privately."

"No." 

"Be at practice fifteen minutes early. Alone." 

 

Harry waited at the pitch, but Ron did not show up early. He came a few minutes late, with both Andrew and Jack. Harry glared and sent everybody into the air without preamble. 

They practiced hard and long, and the exertion began to wear the edge of Harry's anger. After an hour, he was starting to feel more optimistic. A half-hour after that, he was enjoying himself. Another half-hour later, after a spectacular play between Iggy and Ginny, he called everyone down. 

"That was great. If everyone can play that well on Saturday, we'll have the match. Remember to get enough sleep on Friday night -- it's an earlier start than usual." He glanced over at Ron. "Ron ... having the twins watch won't give you any trouble now, will it?"

Ron reddened. "No," he said angrily. 

"Good. Glad to hear it."

"We've got company." Iggy jerked a thumb up at the stands. Harry wondered how he could have missed the gleam of near-white hair in the darkness. It was moving now, in a slight bobbing motion as the body beneath it descended the stairs. Perhaps it had been less noticeable when still. 

Harry stepped in front of his teammates as their uninvited audience reached the green.

"Draco." He nodded. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Obviously." Draco flipped his hood up, and Harry understood how he had missed him earlier. The pale face was overshadowed by fine-woven black wool. He didn't look like a Death Eater, Harry told himself -- not quite. "You should be more observant."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Draco smiled slightly. "Good. Talk for a moment, then?"

Harry nodded, and walked beside Draco through the narrow passage off the pitch. He gestured Draco out into the open before him, but nothing was waiting there.

"What is it?" 

"Blaise got some firewhiskey, and we're planning to get pissed. Would you like to join us?"

Harry stared. The offer was an odd contrast to Draco's earlier subtly and current courteous tone. "Um ... no."

Draco hesitated. "I was acting like a prat, yesterday," he said lightly. 

Which, Harry thought, was probably the closest thing to an apology that Draco could manage. 

"It's all right," he said, gesturing behind them with a jerk of his head. "I'm used to it." 

Draco looked horrified. " _Tell_ me you didn't just compare me to Weasley." 

"I did, actually. But if it makes you feel better, I'll admit you're being more reasonable, in this round." Harry wondered if Ron had overheard that. He wasn't sure whether he wanted him to have heard it or not. "See you in Potions?" 

Draco looked up at the stars. The hood slipped off his fair hair. "If I don't stay in bed." He gave Harry a quick, sharp look, and his voice turned mocking. "Good evening, then. Enjoy your virtuous pursuits." He smirked and headed back toward the castle. 

Harry, chuckling, turned back to the pitch, only to be nearly knocked over by Ron, who stormed on up the hill. 

"Harry?" Teresa said timidly.

"Hm?" Harry was still staring after Ron. He watched him give Draco a wide berth in passing. 

"Wasn't that Malfoy? The Slytherin Seeker?"

Harry nodded. "And Captain."

"What did he want?"

"To invite me drinking. Actually, I think just to let me know he's not still angry with me." Harry grinned down at Teresa. "Chances are he would have keeled over if I'd said yes." 

 

At breakfast the next morning, Harry could think of little besides the custody hearing. Logically, he had decided the whole thing was a farce, and the outcome of little importance, but that did not prevent him from wanting it over with. Dumbledore, to his surprise, was at the staff table. Harry had just started on his eggs when something hit him on the head. It was a letter. A striking gold and white barn owl, apparently the carrier, landed in front of him. 

"Bacon?" Harry offered. The great eyes watched unblinkingly from the cartoon-like face for a moment. With great deliberation, the bird took the bacon in one claw, then flew away. A flash of light caught it in flight. Colin lowered his camera.

"Whose bird, Harry?" he asked. "It's a pretty one -- especially from below, with all that white. Does it belong to a friend of yours?"

Harry opened the letter. It was a note from Professor Dumbledore. 

"Probably a school owl," he said. "It's from the headmaster -- reminding me we have a meeting." 

In fact, the note gave him particulars of a meeting:

 

> Harry,
> 
> The hearing is scheduled for eleven, and I have additional matters to attend to at the Ministry, whatever the outcome. Please come to my office shortly before dinner, and we will discuss your status. 
> 
> Regards,
> 
> Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster

 

Harry looked up at the staff table. When he had Dumbledore's attention, he nodded. 

 

Harry was not surprised when Draco wasn't in the Potions classroom before class. Thinking back, Harry thought he had skipped breakfast, as well. Harry set up in his usual place and wondered if the Slytherin would show or not.

Professor Snape glided into the room, and began to survey them all in his usual contemptuous manner. His scan stopped at the empty place next to Harry. 

"Bulstrode!"

Millicent jumped. She banged into her scales, which caused them to jangle loudly. "Yes, sir?"

"Is Malfoy ill?"

"I don't know, sir. He wasn't at breakfast." 

Snape's attention turned to Harry. Harry sometimes wondered if it was good or bad that he could think of Professor Snape as a separate person from his father. 

"And you, Potter?" the Potions Master asked sharply. "I don't suppose _you_ would know what has become of Mr. Malfoy?"

"No, sir."

After a bit of unintelligible, but clearly irritated, muttering, Snape began to lecture on the effects of cauldron material on sensitive potions. Harry pretended to take notes. He judged it to be at least ten minutes later that Draco arrived. 

Draco slunk in and slipped into place next to Harry. He looked pale, and had an odd, unpleasant scent to him. 

"How kind of you to join us, Malfoy," Snape said bitingly. "I expect you to join me for detention, as well. Directly after supper, tonight."

Draco looked pathetic. "I'm feeling a bit sick, sir."

"I expect so," Snape returned. He stalked toward them. When he was quite close, he snapped, "that does not excuse you!" at a volume that made Draco wince. Apparently satisfied, Snape whirled and returned to the front of the room and his lecture.

"Have a good evening?" Harry whispered. 

"Shut up, Potter." ****

 

On the way up to Defense Against the Dark Arts, Draco caught at Harry's arm. "Slow down?" At Harry's surprised look, he rolled his eyes. "The stairs are jarring at the speed you take them."

"Ah." Harry couldn't repress a smirk. "I am so glad I turned down your offer."

"I had fun," Draco protested. He looked down. "As far as I recall, that is." 

"Why didn't you stay in bed?"

"Radiana Nott threatened to report both of us if we did."

Harry's mouth quirked. "Girls!" he said. 

"Really. Even Crabbe wouldn't do that to me." Draco shifted closer. "May I copy your notes from this morning?" His tone was wheedling. "I didn't catch half of that, and Defense will be worse."

"You can have my Defense Against the Dark Arts notes, anyway."

"But Potions?"

"I didn't take any."

"What?"

"I learned all that stuff over the summer. He didn't even get into it today, really."

 

As Remus's lesson progressed, Harry found his ability to concentrate slipping. Having promised Draco notes, he attempted to take them, but he knew he they were below his usual level of detail. When he left the class, Draco walked silently along with him down to the Entrance Hall. When Harry, on impulse, went outside, Draco followed. 

"Is something wrong?" Draco drawled. He seemed to have almost recovered. "In case you haven't noticed, this is hardly sunbathing weather."

In fact, it was cold, grey, and spitting thin rain. Harry leaned back against the building to stay out of most of it. 

"Worried about tomorrow's game?" 

Harry tried to shrug, but the motion turned into a curl of his shoulders that he had to focus to reverse. "Worried who'll have control of my life by sunset." 

"Melodramatic, don't you think?"

"Not really. There's a custody hearing on, right at this very moment." 

Draco's eyes widened. "Aren't you sixteen?"

"Yes, but the Wizengamot decreed I require a guardian. I'm 'at risk.'" 

Draco snorted. "Of a number of things. Who are the contenders? The Weasleys?"

"I wish! No, it's the Ministry versus Professor Dumbledore." 

"Oh." Draco stared at him. A fine mist had settled over his pale hair, and glistened like a halo. Harry thought it most inappropriate. 

"I'd rather have the headmaster, of course. They both want me for political reasons, but I at least agree with Dumbledore's politics. If I become a ward of the Ministry, Fudge will have control of me, and he's an idiot." 

"You think so?" Draco sounded pleased.

"Completely. He doesn't care about anything besides keeping his position. He'll sacrifice anyone for power, but he hasn't any real use for it."

"But he does have a use for it."

"What?"

"Maintaining his power."

Harry snickered. "Right. Honestly, I have more respect for your father. I think he at least believed in what he was doing." 

Draco opened his mouth, as if he intended to ask something further, then closed it again. He turned. 

"Potter, looking like a drowned rat won't make the Wizengamot take pity on you. I, at least, have the sense to get in out of the rain. Come to lunch." 

They walked in to the Great Hall together. Harry noticed what they had done when the silence rolled like a wave in front of them. Perversely, he stayed at Draco's side, and accepted his light parting nudge -- a mere bumping of shoulders -- when they reached the end of the Slytherin table. A smile possessed him as he continued on to the Gryffindor one. _I don't care who's angry with me, as long as it's over something stupid._

 

*****************

 

Severus did not enjoy the sweeping spiral of rising up to Dumbledore's office. Disorientation had ceased to amuse him before he was of age. He hated the childish passwords and the sedate, yet quirky charm of the office. He entered coolly, and sat obstinately in the least-comfortable chair. 

"Make it quick."

"Calm down, dear boy." Dumbledore attempted a merry smile as he extended a plate of biscuits to Severus. The effort did not make it past his lips. "You keep telling me today's outcome is immaterial."

"You lost," Severus interpreted. He ignored the biscuits.

Dumbledore sighed. "Yes." He inclined his silver head. "I lost." 

"If Fudge dares --"

"You will endure it," Dumbledore commanded firmly. "This is temporary. Legally, they must publish the decision and allow four weeks' time for any challenges. You will bide your time until the confirmation hearing on the first of November." 

Severus scowled. "Thus I am useful through the critical date of Halloween." 

"Useful as a spy, yes. Voldemort does have a fondness for dramatic gestures on that date."

"And afterward?"

Dumbledore looked unusually anxious. "In all seriousness, Severus, Harry is of primary importance, here. You have better control over him than I do. I will be more than content to have you as a potions crafter, and keeper of Harry." 

"We fight constantly!"

"Yet he loves you." Dumbledore shook his head. "He has not loved me for years. Respected perhaps -- not loved." 

"He is romanticizing." Severus forced his voice to coldness. "This will not last."

"Severus! For once in your life will you accept that you have a right to what you are given?" 

While Severus was still trying to find a response, Fawkes stretched on his perch and trilled at the door. 

"Harry is here, I expect. Open the door, please, Severus, and see." 

It was Harry. Severus saw him flinch back, and realized his surge of protectiveness had come out in a glare. 

"Come in." Severus found he had reached out a hand to touch the boy, and he snatched it back. "We were -- It's Fudge, I'm afraid." 

Harry shrugged. "We expected that." His voice was calm, but he looked shaken. He stepped into the room, and Severus sat again. To his surprise, Harry took the chair closest to his own and tugged it closer. Severus felt a smile pulling at his lips, and contained it as much as he could.

Harry focused on Dumbledore. "So," he said. 

"So," Dumbledore repeated. He managed to make the mimicry a shared confidence, rather than an insult. 

"Fudge." Harry made a face. 

"At least you will have no mixed feelings," Dumbledore observed. His voice was kind, but the words caused a flash of guilt to cross Harry's face. Severus intervened. 

"And my fate, of course, is linked to yours."

"I hope, Severus," Dumbledore said quickly, "that I will be able to adequately shield you --"

" _If_ I stay in or near the castle."

"Unfortunately, my sphere is limited --"

"Do you think the Minister will try to move me?" Harry asked.

Dumbledore frowned. Severus thought it quite refreshing. The old man stroked his white beard. "Not immediately."

Severus thought that should be made more explicit. "He probably plans to do so after the confirmation hearing." 

Harry's eyes never left the headmaster. "Are you sure Fath-- Severus will be able to get custody?"

"I have no objection to you calling Severus 'Father,'" the headmaster said calmly. "I am pleased."

Harry reddened. "The question?"

"He will. Wizarding law is inflexible on this. It has bothered me before, but I am content, this time."

 Harry, for the first time since he had entered, looked over to meet Severus's eyes. Severus smirked at him, and Harry seemed encouraged by this. 

"Good then," he said bravely. "How are the spy devices going?"

Severus looked at Dumbledore, who glanced away. "Not well," the headmaster said.

"Flitwick," Severus said dryly, "is not part of the old crowd. The information we give him is limited -- as are his results."

"Why not ask Fred and George?" Harry asked. 

"Fred and --"

"They're coming tomorrow. You know they're brilliant sneaks, and however much trouble they may be, they _are_ loyal." 

"Coming tomorrow?" Severus asked. 

"For the game." 

Dumbledore nodded and stroked his beard. "Yes," he murmured. "I've given them permission to stay the night."

"They are too young!" Severus snapped.

"Old enough," Dumbledore countered. 

"Irresponsible."

"Yet dedicated."

"To making trouble!"

"To a number of things," Harry cut in.

"I will talk with them," Dumbledore decided. "From there ... We shall see. Now...." He opened a drawer in his desk, and pulled out a drawstring pouch, which he opened flat to show a quantity of gold. "Are any of these the one, Severus?"

Severus made out the shape of a griffin passant among the clutter, and moved swiftly forward. The matter of the Weasley twins melted away at the sight. With a trembling hand, he spread out the brooches. "Had enough of them, did he?" he growled. _And most of gold_ , he thought, but he could not summon any resentment. He found it easily enough -- a gold griffin with one foreleg raised and its long tail weaving in and out of its legs in a Celtic style. The eye was an inset emerald. "The contract was in this," he said. His voice trembled. 

"I expect you would like privacy?"

Unwilling to trust his voice again, Severus answered with a jerky nod. Dumbledore's hand came briefly to his shoulder. 

"Very well. Harry, please leave now. Severus, I'll get you the pensieve, then leave you to your viewing." 

 

*****************

 

The corridor was quiet. Harry wandered in a daze. He found himself looking down the stairs to the dungeons and forced his path up, again. On one of the back stairways, he heard footsteps, and whirled in mindless panic. 

"Harry?"

It was Hermione. Harry released a breath he had not known he was holding. 

Hermione came closer and stood for a moment, studying him as if he were a new magical creature. "Shall we go to your lounge?" she suggested. Harry nodded. It always seemed easier to talk there, somehow. _Perhaps,_ he thought, _because it's my own._ He looked around for a moment, and recognized where he was -- only a floor down from the Room of Requirement, and not too far over. He led the way. 

There was only one couch, today. Harry supposed that made sense. He cast himself down on it, and she sat more sedately, just within reach. 

"What's wrong?" she asked. 

Harry sighed. "I am now a ward of the Ministry."

"What?"

"Dumbledore lost the custody bid. I'm under the direct supervision of the Ministry of Magic, which means that, for all practical purposes, Fudge is my guardian."

"Oh, Harry!" 

Harry waved off her dismay. "It's no big deal. We expected it really, and it's just temporary. Severus is to claim me at the confirmation hearing, on the first of November -- provided he doesn't get himself killed, first."

"You're obviously upset...." 

"But I shouldn't be! I mean, it's not as if he's adopting me, or anything. I don't need to treat him as my father; I just need to be polite and obedient --" Harry ignored Hermione's derisive snort -- "whatever few times he sees fit to visit, just for a few weeks -- and pretend I _do_ think it's permanent." 

"It sounds hard to me." 

Harry groaned. "I can't stand him; really I can't. I just keep reminding myself how the Hat wanted me in Slytherin...."

"So?" Hermione asked sharply. 

"So I ought to be able to _do_ this. It's just a little convenient duplicity -- it ought to come naturally." 

Hermione giggled. Harry sighed and slumped back into the cushions. He realized they smelled slightly of dog, like Hagrid's sofa, or Sirius's. It was comforting. When he glanced up, Hermione was regarding him speculatively. 

"I remember when you told me about your Sorting. Have you ever told Ron?"

"No. He wouldn't understand." 

"You said Dumbledore decided it was because of your link to Voldemort --"

"Well, I've decided he's wrong. It's just me." 

When Hermione spoke again, after a long silence, her voice was hesitant. "Do you think you should have ...?"

"No way!" Harry grinned at her. "And miss five years of the two best friends a bloke could have? And the other Weasleys? And the Gryffindor Quidditch team? And the tower? Forget that!" He rolled his eyes. "Besides, I'd be horrible, don't you think? All the worst influences for me." 

"Probably." Hermione edged a little closer and Harry tugged her closer yet. She submitted briefly to a kiss, then shifted slightly back. "Is anything good happening?"

"Besides you?"

She gave an impatient little snort. Harry suspected that sort of response would work better with most other girls. He resigned himself to a substantive answer. 

"I had a wonderful time with my father, for a change. We didn't go too deep into our problem areas -- Remus and Draco, at the moment -- and we actually had fun talking about Fred and George, and ... other things." He grinned. "Tomorrow is the match, and I think we can win, if Ron's not a total prat. And Fred and George are coming. And it's a Hogsmeade weekend. So, basically, yeah, everything is going to plan, and if I wasn't worried about Fudge yanking me out of here, or something equally awful, I'd be happy."

She leaned against him. "So prepare to channel your inner sneak."

Harry laughed. "Oh, I will." 

 

*****************

The cold ground burned against Severus's knees, feet, and hands, but he remained in obeisance, his only impropriety to keep his forehead slightly above the ground. He fervently hoped the adaptation went unnoticed. 

"I have been patient with you, my most inefficient servant," hissed a cold, high, voice, "but a month should be time enough for even such an incompetent investigator as yourself." The voice paused, leaving the implied threat of punishment hanging for several long seconds. When it continued, each word was painfully precise. "How has Dumbledore guarded the boy?"

"I know what he _says_ he has done, master," Severus said silkily. His eyes were still less than an inch above the frosty ground. "I do not believe him."

"What does he _say?_ "

"He says that Sirius's death now guards the boy --"

"Lies! That was not a sacrifice!"

"Indeed," Severus agreed dryly, "the cur tripped. However, I think this lie may hold a grain of truth."

"How so?"

"I think his mother's protection has been replaced by that of another. Still, I must puzzle out who. Not Black, certainly, or Dumbledore would not have been so foolish as to name him." _Remus,_ Severus thought. _I could turn my lord's suspicions to Remus._ He remained silent. He told himself, belatedly, that it would not be wise to remind his master of Lily's school entanglements. 

The Dark Lord hissed, and an almost pleasant terror shuddered through Severus's body. He heard the whisper of Nagini slithering past, and let his devotion and fear overlay the surface of his mind.

"How long do you expect your puzzlement to last, servant?"

"I will have your answer by Christmas." 

"Halloween, or you are of no use to me." 

Severus repressed a shudder. "Yes, master." He bent low enough to brush the icy dirt with his forehead and nose. "I am grateful for your patience, master." 

"Do not overtax it," the Dark Lord hissed. About them, people shifted in anticipation, but no Unforgivables hit Severus, this night. Someone else would fall screaming, no doubt. In relief, Severus eased to his knees, and then to his feet. He met Crabbe's disappointed look with a glare. The idiot turned away. 

On the far side of the room, someone began to shriek. 

 


	60. Games and Amusements

 

The next morning, Harry woke in a fine mood. He had no sooner rolled over than he remembered the match, and the usual jittery feeling set in. As he was getting dressed, Ron looked over at him, and for a moment, Harry thought he was going to say something. He didn't, but he didn't glare either -- just dressed nervously. 

As Harry was poking at his breakfast, unable to bring himself to put any of it in his mouth, an eagle owl coasted down to the table in front of him. For one surreal moment, Harry thought he had a message from the Malfoys.

The owl extended one leg, holding out a letter. Harry took it, and offered the owl a sausage. The owl ate it and looked expectant, so Harry gave it two more. Apparently satisfied, the owl flew away, and Harry examined the letter. 

It was heavy, but finely finished parchment, sealed with bright green wax. Harry thought it more of a leprechaun green than a Slytherin green. He didn't recognize the raised design. 

"Who's that from?" Jack asked curiously. 

Harry shrugged his puzzlement and cracked the thick wax. 

 

Harry,

> Welcome to the scrupulous care of the Ministry of Magic! I believe I am not exaggerating to say we shall take better care of you than you have ever received before. Indeed, it seems almost inevitable.

 

Severus, Harry thought, had said much the same, but from Fudge, it seemed far more offensive. 

 

> I regret that I am unable to attend your Quidditch game, today. Previous engagements, you know! I do wish you good luck -- not that you need it. You're quite the rising star of amateur Quidditch, these days! I do expect to visit you sometime in the next few weeks, to update our previous acquaintance, and evaluate the suitability of your educational situation. I'm certain we shall have a wonderful time together.
> 
> Best regards, 
> 
> Cornelius Fudge  
>  Minister of Magic

Harry, his stomach churning with unease, looked up from the letter. Hermione was watching him, her brow creased with worry. 

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Harry snorted. "Oh, it's just Fudge. I think he's going to try to move me to another school."

"Harry...."

Harry waved her concern off, though he did remember to look worried, for the benefit of anyone who might be paying attention. "I can't think about that now. I have a game this morning." 

 

Despite his dismissal of the matter, Harry fumed while he walked across the sun-bright grass towards the pitch. The day was perfect -- mild and sunny with almost no wind -- but it could not take his mind of how Fudge would try to control and use him. He was still fuming when he got to the pitch. He wished he could gripe to Ron about it. Instead, he ended up complaining to Ginny while he waited for Andrew and Jack, the last arrivals, to put on their robes. 

"Listen up!" he said, when everyone was ready. "Ravenclaw has a strong side. They have two experienced Chasers and one experienced Beater. However, despite our changes in line-up, I think we work better as a team. We can make up for that lack of experience by working with each other. 

"We also have another advantage: Colin obtained permission to photograph this match. I don't want anyone feeling that our experience with that is unfair -- I _know_ that he asked Cho Chang for permission to photograph their practices at least two times, and she refused. If they can't handle the distraction, that's their choice. So if their Keeper flinches when the flash goes off, hurl it in!"

Teresa and Iggy, who had been looking uncertain, grinned. Ginny gave Harry a smart nod. 

"That's it." Harry lofted his Firebolt. "Let's get out there and start the season with a win!"

When they stepped outside, Harry was briefly unnerved by the cheering. It took him a moment to realize that the tone was wrong. The usually blended roar was now extended by the shrill screams of younger children. Scanning the stands, he saw a section near the staff that had several families in it. All together, they included no more than a dozen young children. Harry was amazed that few of them could change the sound. A little black girl -- she could not have been more than six -- jumped up and down and waved a red handkerchief at him. Harry grinned and spontaneously waved back. 

A moment later, he was in the center of the pitch, shaking hands with Cho Chang, the Ravenclaw captain. Cho's hand was limp in his own. She regarded him with beautiful, pained dismay. For a moment, Harry felt a pang of regret. 

"Hermione?" she mouthed silently. Harry, in a flash of anger, gave her a sharp nod, released her damp hand, and turned away. 

"Mount your brooms."

The familiar words from Madam Hooch, his Firebolt twitching with readiness between his thighs ... suddenly, everything was clear and good. Harry tensed, eagerly awaiting the whistle. It came, and fourteen players kicked up into the free air. Two -- one blue, one red -- shot out toward the goal hoops, and two -- one blue, one red -- rose up above the cluster. The quaffle and bludgers shot up beneath them, and the remaining mob of players blurred in a muddle of blue and red. Harry wondered if the audience could ever see the full beauty of it. 

"And the players take their positions!" It was Ernie Macmillan's confident voice that met the roar from the stands. "Potter and Chang, both captains as well as Seekers, establishing a good vantage -- And it's Emmet, the youngest new Gryffindor Chaser, with the Quaffle. People have questioned Potter's judgment in taking on a second-year, but look at that girl fly! Corner is close -- Emmet passes to Weasley -- Gould hits a bludger to -- Weasley back to Emmet -- Emmet gets it in! Yes! Ten points to Gryffindor, and don't give that girl an inch, Ravenclaw! She's got it!" 

_And Colin's got it on film,_ Harry thought, delighted. He suspected the Ravenclaw Keeper's flinch at the flash had helped Teresa's score. He watched with pleasure as his team racked up forty points, and gloated silently as Cho argued with Madam Hooch about the validity of the score. 

Hooch was firm. "Mister Creevy asked to photograph all team practices. You had ample opportunity to experience this before the match." 

Chang glanced at Harry. He smirked, and she turned away and stomped her foot. Ravenclaw booed, Gryffindor murmured and cheered, and for the first time in Harry's memory, some of Slytherin jeered at a Gryffindor opponent. Harry glanced over at the stands while he was soaring up again, and saw Draco laughing and saying something to a girl beside him. The score was forty -- nil. 

The game was spectacular, and as much due to his supremely melded Chasers as to Colin's distractions, Harry thought. When he saw the snitch, Cho was closer to it than he was. Harry dived away from it, bluffing her into going the wrong direction, then looped and caught the now-rising snitch. The crowd went wild as Macmillan announced a Gryffindor win, at 220 to 20. Harry dared a glance over at the staff, and saw his father watching him intently, his expression carefully blank. 

Harry restrained himself from waving. He landed, flushed and happy, with the snitch still fluttering in his hand. Ginny, Teresa, and Iggy were hugging and jumping up and down. Ginny pulled him in and Jack thumped him on the back. "Brilliant dive!" 

"You were perfect!" Harry exclaimed. He looked around, trying to include Andrew, who was standing uncertainly just out of reach, and Ron, who was glaring as if Harry had insulted him. The look knocked Harry's breath out of him nearly as well as a punch might have. He inhaled, exhaled carefully, and tried to recover his elation. "Everybody just keep flying like that, and the Cup is ours, this year."

Ron stared another moment, then turned and stalked off, moving into the flow of other people who were coming onto the field. Hermione ran up to Harry. "Congratulations! Stunning flying ... as always."

"Thanks." Harry grinned back at his teammates. "I think it's great how everyone's melded -- except me and Ron, of course." He looked gloomily after Ron. Hermione followed his eyes. 

"Well, he and I are going into Hogsmeade. Maybe you can catch us in the Three Broomsticks, when he's feeling a bit more relaxed?"

Harry sighed. "I'll give it a try." 

"I'll work on him." 

"Oy, Harry! What got up Ronnie's nose?"

Harry shrugged. Hermione ducked off as he turned to face the twins. "No idea," he said. 

The twins stared at him in open shock. "Er, Harry?" one said. It was George, Harry decided. He was rubbing his arm in that way George sometimes did when he was thinking, or anxious.

"Great to see you!" Harry greeted them. "I was afraid you wouldn't make it."

The twins looked at each other. As one, they seized Harry's arms. "Come with us," Fred said, and they marched him off to a clear area near the end of the stands. 

"Um...?"

"Who are you?" Fred hissed. "Where's Harry?"

Harry felt like he had been hit. He tried not to shrink back. "I'm Harry."

"Good try," one snarled, "but you don't fool us."

Harry hadn't thought he looked that different, but the twins looked grimly serious, for once. He was glad they had had the sense to take him clear of the crowd. A few people were looking over, but no one was close enough to hear. "It's the hair," he tried. 

"Rot!" George said, at an urgent whisper. 

_Not just angry,_ Harry thought. _Afraid._

Fred shoved Harry against the front of the stands. "You don't even sound like him!" 

Harry took a deep breath. "I know." He bit his lip. Fred pushed again, until every unevenness in the wall had imposed itself on Harry's back. He wondered dizzily what the bruises would look like. The remaining people were staring. Professor Lupin started to approach, but stopped when Harry waved him back. "But I _am_ him. You need to talk to Professor Dumbledore, if you have questions. I'm not supposed to tell anybody."

"What did you tell us about blood in the sweet?"

"Er ..." Harry suddenly realized George was testing him. "Oh -- use semen, instead?"

"Too recent," Fred objected. "Where does our mum keep the jam?"

"When she's hiding it from you?" Harry countered. He looked desperately at them, and they glared back with identical stony anger. "I haven't been to the Burrow in two years!" Suddenly, he could picture Mrs. Weasley, lifting out a jam-jar and holding her finger to her lips. "I remember -- the old cauldron, the dented one that's usually under the sink."

"Who am I?" asked Fred. 

"Fred."

Fred looked at him contemptuously. "I'm George."

"No, you're not!" Harry gestured at George. "He's George. You never rub your arm, like that, but he does, when he's worried. And you've been trying to loom over me, and George does that _with_ you, but not on his own."

George looked at his arm. "I do?"

"Since you broke it, in our first year," Fred said. He stepped back. "All right." He took a deep, shaky breath. "You're Harry." He shook his head and remembered to lower his voice, again. "What happened? Transfiguration accident? Animagus return disorder?"

"It's been a slow change," Harry answered, dropping his voice to a whisper. "Most people haven't noticed, because they see me every day. Try to pretend I look normal, okay?"

Fred glared at him. "Your face is wrong -- and you're taller than me!" His voice trembled with indignation. George sniggered. 

"Yeah, but he's skinnier than Ron."

"Look, I want to shower and go to Hogsmeade," Harry said. "I have shopping to do. Do you two want to come along, or not?" 

Fred looked at George. George shrugged. 

"'Course, Harry," Fred said. His sudden cheer seemed a bit forced to Harry. Harry wondered if they really believed him.

"We'll talk to the old man later," George added.

"We have business at Zonko's, anyway."

 

Harry showered and dressed as quickly as possible, afraid the twins, despite their assurances to the contrary, would start talking to people about him while he was in there. Ron, at least, had left as he came in, and Harry had lingered in the doorway long enough to see him hike off towards the gates, without even looking back at the stands. When Harry emerged from the changing rooms, clean, damp, and dressed for Hogsmeade, the twins, as they had promised, were waiting. 

"Harry!" George's shocked rebuke implied Harry had done something rude. Harry stopped in the middle of the doorway. 

"What?

"Those robes! People will think you're a Slytherin!"

Harry glanced down. He was wearing the green robes open over grey trousers and a white shirt. 

"You've seen this before."

"Fine, but not at school!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Anyone who doesn't know I'm a Gryffindor is hopeless." 

 

They set off down the road. Most people had left already, so no one was close enough to hear them. Still, Harry was quick and quiet about reiterating that they must not draw attention to his appearance, and Dumbledore might be willing to explain the change to them. After they had gone through the gates, George took something out of his pocket and tossed it to Harry. 

"We brought you some treats."

Harry looked in the pouch he had caught. It held a few mood wings, two skiving snackboxes, some sweets that he suspected were the skin changing ones, and some things that looked like gumdrops in different colors. "Thanks!"

"Turn it inside out," George urged. 

"I don't have any place to put this stuff."

"That's okay. Just turn it inside out."

Fred grabbed the bag from Harry's hands and turned it inside out. The contents were nowhere in evidence. He handed it back to Harry. Cautiously, Harry looked inside. The bag now held a ten-pack of cigarettes. 

"You two are brilliant!" Harry exclaimed.

"Oh," George waved a hand airily about. "Just a reversible pouch. We don't make them --"

"-- but we find them popular with many of our customers."

"So we have a bit of a resale agreement."

Experimentally, Harry reversed the pouch. The cigarettes did not fall, and the pouch was still full of magical sweets. He switched it back and forth a few times, grinning at it.

"Happy as a Muggle with a magic teapot," Fred commented. 

"Spoiled," Harry retorted. "You wizard-born types are just spoiled. You have no appreciation for the wonder of it all."

"Try telling that to Dad." 

Harry looked ahead and realized they were close to the village. He slipped the pouch in his pocket. "I'll get back to that later."

"Where first?" George asked. 

"Bookstore," Harry said happily. 

"Harry!" the twins chorused in dismay. 

"Well, I want to buy --" 

"Zonko's!" 

 

Harry had a good time looking around Zonko's, and even bought a few things, but he didn't find anything nearly as interesting as the reversible pouch. The twins got into a long negotiation with the owner. Harry doubted they would speak to anyone about him here. They probably wouldn't even think about him while they were here. Eventually, Harry interrupted for long enough to say he would see them later, and he headed out to the bookstore.

It was a much smaller store than Flourish and Blotts. The ceilings were at a normal height, but the books went all the way up to them. Harry looked around for the counter, and finally found a desk, nearly hidden by stacks of books. Behind it, a little wizard was reading contentedly. He wasn't old, but he sat bent over, and his clothing was a confusing muddle of various styles and colors. 

"Hello?" 

The wizard looked up. A large cat jumped off his lap and stalked away. 

"Sorry to disturb you...."

"No trouble at all, young man. It is my job, after all." The man peered at him, then looked surprised. "Harry Potter?"

"Er ... that's right." 

The man put his head to the side. "You look a bit different in photographs." 

"It's the hair, I think," Harry said. "And growing."

The man nodded. "Not to mention the dreadful photographic quality in those things." He smiled. "A pleasure. What may I do to help you?"

"Well...." Harry wondered how much to explain. "I was raised by Muggles, you know."

The man looked grave. "I _do_ read the papers."

Harry pressed on before the stranger could become sympathetic. "Yes, well, Wizarding culture confuses me, sometimes."

"So you'd be looking for sociology?"

"No. A friend of mine suggested I should read stories -- Wizarding stories-- children's, adult's.... What do you think would give me a good feel for it? What wizards assume, I mean?"

Harry suspected that bookshop proprietors lived for requests like this. The little man fairly bounced as he led Harry around the store, piling up his own childhood favorites and current favorites, with selections of classics, drama, humor, and adventures. Harry ended up with a bundle that would have been impressive for Hermione. He paid for it all, and asked if he could pick it up at the end of the day. 

The little man looked at him curiously. "Whatever for?"

"Well, it's a lot to carry...."

"Ah! For large purchases, our shrinking charms are complimentary." The man pointed his wand at the bundle and it shrank to pocket size. "Just tap it three times with your wand to expand it."

"Thanks."

"My pleasure." He bowed slightly. "And please tell me how it goes. I'm sure this would benefit many of your schoolmates, as well. Perhaps I can make up a recommended reading list for the incoming Muggle-born students."

 

Harry stepped out on the street and looked around for a moment. He decided to head down to the Three Broomsticks to see if Fred and George -- or Hermione and Ron -- were there. The pub was loud and crowded. Harry went in until he had reached a relatively clear spot, then stopped and scanned the tables methodically. Near the bar, Ginny, Dean, and Seamus were sitting with a Hufflepuff girl. In the far corner, he caught sight of Remus sitting with a familiar-looking woman. It took Harry a moment to place her as the Selena, the WFU werewolf that Remus had not wanted him to meet. Remus looked happier with her company, today. She said something, and for a moment, he smiled broadly. 

With a quick glance behind him, Harry backed up to mingle with the crowd at the bar. He didn't want Remus's companion to see him. He cautiously worked his way back to the door before he risked another look at Remus. The professor looked upset, now. He reached out a hand to the woman, and she tossed her head defiantly. "Please," Harry saw him mouth. Harry left. 

 

Harry wandered back towards Zonko's, but didn't feel like going into the joke shop again. He glanced in the window, and saw Fred and George were still there. George was talking to the owner; Fred appeared to just be browsing. 

Harry crossed the street and settled in a shady spot, a stretch of grass bordered by privet and backed by a chest-height stone wall that was set a few yards back from the road. He pulled himself up onto the wide wall, where he had a good view of Zonko's front door, and brought out the reversible pouch. 

The cigarette pack did not seem to have the usual tag to tear the outer cellophane. He eventually ripped it with his teeth. He had no matches, he realized, annoyed, and lighting the things with his wand was problematic, as he could not say the incantation while inhaling. He used _Incendio_ to light a twig, and then used that as a match. He was rather glad the twins weren't around watching him blunder through it all. 

Harry blew smoke out at the tree above him and watched the strands of grey twist through the branches. He wished he were old enough to do magic outside of school, so he could bespell it into shapes. He suddenly realized he had done magic, not a minute earlier, and winced. At least it was unlikely to be noticed, in Hogsmeade. No one had seen. He let a second breath out in a slow trickle, so the breeze played with it. It twisted up like a silver snake. He watched it in satisfaction as he took a third draw in. 

Suddenly, Harry was completely unable to breathe, either in or out. He had a moment of panic, then his breath came out in a smoky, grey _whoosh_. As it did, his feet shot up into the air, and he found himself floating on his stomach, above the wall. He could breathe, now, but everything looked slightly blue. 

Harry tried to reach the wall. It was just out of arm's length below him. The cigarette, at least, had fallen on the stones of the wall, rather than in the dry leaves beside it. Harry could imagine himself being smoked like a ham above a smoldering fire, or worse yet, rescued by sniggering townspeople. The closest branch above him was also too far away to seize, especially as he could not roll over. Next, he tried to swim towards the tree trunk. Frantic motions moved him a few inches forward, but had the unfortunate consequence of causing his wand to fall out of his pocket. It bounced and landed right beside the stone wall. 

Harry realized he was now completely helpless until this wore off. He should have used the wand first. He wondered if screaming was a good idea. It might attract Fred and George, but it would be embarrassing to have everyone in earshot notice him. Harry realized suddenly that "everyone in earshot" might well include people who wanted to kill him, and he was an easy target, in this state. He had to wait this out. Harry had the panicked thought that the change might be transfigurative. He hoped he was just floating, but when he remembered the sudden loss of breath, he wasn't sure. He could look even less like Harry Potter when he got down. 

Harry decided he was not going to give Fred and George the satisfaction of observing their little prank, if he could help it. While he floated, fuming about their idiotic carelessness doing this to _him_ , a voice suddenly called from the road: 

"Look, Draco! Potter's stuck in the air." Heavy footsteps crashed through the few fallen leaves. "We could use him for bludger practice." A loud, coarse laugh followed this remark. Harry managed to twist his head enough to see Goyle, with Draco and Goyle's fifth-year girl behind him, walking through the weirdly blue air. 

Draco doubled up with laughter. His fair hair was a pale turquoise over sky-blue skin. He looked like some mad elf. Goyle looked more like a mis-tinted Frankenstein's monster as he cast around for a stick. It wasn't until he found a good, solid one that Draco, still holding his sides, gasped out, "No, Gregory!" He took a few panting breaths. "Potter's my friend, now, remember?" 

"Oh, right." Goyle looked at his stick with obvious disappointment. "Is that allowed?" he asked doubtfully.

Draco had taken his wand out and come a few steps onto the grass. "Accio, Harry," he tried. Harry moved towards him, but despite Draco's tugging, remained horizontal, facing down at the teal grass, and at roughly the height of Draco's head. Draco had Goyle try to pull him down, but that didn't do much besides hurt Harry's ankles. Draco started laughing again. 

"You'll just need to fall well, Scarhead," he said. "That's your ultimate talent, isn't it?" The humor in his voice kept any sting from the words. He tried a _Finite Incantantem,_ but that did nothing. "How _did_ you end up like this, Potter?" he asked. 

"A little something from Fred and George," Harry confessed.

"The Weasley twins? Don't you know better than that?"

"I just wanted cigarettes. _They_ can get to Muggle shops." Harry felt himself heat up. He really should have known better than to think the twins would bring him anything without tampering with it. The solid cellophane, at least, should have tipped him off. "I'm their partner, you know. I thought they'd have a bit more sense."

Draco went over to the wall and picked up the still smoldering butt from the top of it. Harry watched closely to make sure his wand was not in danger of being stepped on. Unless he absolutely needed to, he wasn't going to draw their attention to it -- Draco didn't seem inclined to harm him, but there was no sense in tempting him that far. Draco sniffed at the fag end, then wrinkled his nose. "Gad, Harry -- you _wanted_ that? I can't tell what's in it over its own damn smell." 

He dropped it back onto the stones and turned back to Harry. To Harry's relief, he stepped further away from the wand in the process. "How do the Weasleys usually arrange this sort of thing? Is it a timed spell, or do they have an emergency counter-charm?"

"Their tricks just time out, I think." Harry was getting a crick in his neck from looking over at Draco's face.

"Ah. Well, how do you feel about losing ten minutes off your life?"

"Pardon?"

"I could age you ten minutes. Would that be sufficient, do you think?"

"Considering it would be ten minutes I'd spend floating here, go ahead!" 

Draco pointed his wand at Harry and muttered a quick spell. Harry just had time to turn in the air to land on his shoulder, rather than his stomach. The world was its normal colors, again. As soon as he could get breath, he ran over to the wall and scooped up his wand. 

"You dropped your wand?" Draco asked, scandalized. 

"It fell out of my pocket." Harry pocketed the wand again. He sniffed at his fingers, the fresh cigarette smell reassuring him that Draco had aged him no more than he had said. Harry brushed the worst of the leaves and dirt off his robes. He tried to get the leaves out of his hair, but they caught. 

"Here -- take out the hair slide," Draco advised. Harry did that, then submitted to Draco casting a neatening spell on his hair. Afterwards, Draco made a patch of air reflective, so Harry could see to pull it back again. 

"May I get that smell off you, too?"

"No." 

"It's horrible." 

"I like it."

Draco put his nose up. "No accounting for taste. It makes you smell like Mr. Nott, though. I'm not sure I can endure that." He shrugged the matter off. "Gregory, Lauricia, this is Harry Potter. Despite his reputation and lack of refinement, he's not a bad chap. Harry, you know Gregory Goyle, but humor me and pretend you're just meeting him. This charming young lady," Draco shot a smile at the fifth year, who blushed in return, "is his girlfriend, Lauricia Barrett."

Harry held out his hand. "Pleased to meet you, Miss Barrett." She clasped his warmly, but did not shake. He was not entirely sure he was not supposed to have kissed her hand, instead. To cover his confusion, he extended his hand to Goyle immediately after. Goyle grasped a bit more tightly than necessary, and shook solidly. 

"Potter."

"Goyle."

"Right then." Draco was clearly speaking through clenched teeth, but Harry was not sure if that was due to exasperation, or an effort not to laugh. "We were headed down to the Three Broomsticks. Come along, Harry?"

"I suppose. I'd like a word with --"

On cue, Fred and George came out of Zonko's. Whatever showed on Harry's face, it was enough to cause Draco to turn and look. "Have at it, then," he whispered, giving Harry a bit of a push toward the road. Harry stepped into the sunlight, and Fred and George saw him immediately. They trotted over, but stopped a few paces away, with uneasy looks. 

"What," Harry spat, "do you two think you're playing at?"

They looked at each other. "What's the trouble, mate?" Fred asked. 

"The cigarettes!" Harry's mood was not improved by the twins knowing sniggers. "If you're going to make them do things that leave me helpless, you should at least stay with me until I have one!"

"We weren't expecting you to wait," George protested. " _Then_ you wandered off. We didn't have time to follow, and they're not dangerous."

"Not dangerous!" Harry retorted indignantly. "Floating helplessly isn't dangerous?"

"You can magic yourself around --"

"My wand fell out of my pocket! I couldn't even reach it! Then I was found --"

Draco strolled forward. "It's a sad circumstance when _my_ intervention is required to protect Harry Potter from being used for bludger practice," he drawled. "Risky, if you ask me."

The twins stared at him. "You're that Malfoy kid," Fred accused.

"Quite right. And you are those Weasley hooligans." 

Harry grinned. 

"Harry!" George protested. "What are you doing with him?"

"Being rescued?"

The redhead pointed accusingly at Draco. "His father is a Death Eater!"

"Very good." Harry gestured at Goyle. "As is his. And _they_ are the people who found me floating defenseless in Hogsmeade, and if they'd wanted to kill me, they could have done." 

"Wasn't going to _kill_ you," Goyle protested, understanding part of this. "Just whack you around a bit." 

"And you have no basis to say that about Goyle's father," Draco interjected, in a brittle tone. "Such a harmful accusation should not be leveled irresponsibly." 

Harry bit back a knee-jerk retort. It really was a serious accusation, and even if true, potentially dangerous to Goyle the younger. "Sorry," he said. "You're right. I do know there is a Death Eater of that surname, as I've heard Voldemort call it, but not the degree of relationship." 

"Quite," Draco said, mollified. "It could be one of his many cousins, or an uncle, or, considering the longevity of Gregory's family, an older relative."

"But my --" Goyle silenced at a sharp look from Draco. 

"Gregory! I know you're upset, but allow me to handle this." 

"Subject closed," Harry said, struggling to restrain a smile. He turned on the twins. "The point _is,_ I was at their mercy. Now, Draco got me down --"

"How?" George asked. 

"Aged him ten minutes," Draco said.

"Oh."

"-- but some others might not have," Harry persisted. "It was ridiculously careless of you, considering the number of people who are out to kill me."

Fred rolled his eyes. "This is Hogsmeade."

"Where people were killed, a week ago."

"Not in broad daylight."

Draco leaned carelessly back against a tree. "He was back there." He gestured to the alcove. "Private enough. If I'd sent out the curse while he had his attention on Goyle, he would have died before he screamed."

"Oo! And no falling body!" Lauricia said brightly. 

"No...." Fred stepped back. "Harry! These kids are all Slytherins."

Harry looked at Draco and sighed. Draco smirked. "What _clever_ friends you have, Harry." 

Harry sniggered. He turned back to the twins. They looked as horrified as when they had first seen him, that day. He decided to give up on the lecture. 

"Do these all have side effects?" he demanded, waving the open pack at them accusingly.

George jumped. "Er ... no. Three don't." 

"Are any of the side effects transfigurative?"

They had to think about that. "Two."

"Three."

"Right. Three." 

Harry sighed. "We'll talk later." He glanced back at Draco, who was watching him thoughtfully. He cleared his throat. "We were just heading down to the Three Broomsticks. Come with us?"

Fred and George looked rather as if Harry had offered them a nice bit of rotten fish. Then, with an exchange of guilty glances, they agreed. The odd group walked together to the pub, getting more than their fair share of stares. Draco made a show of talking cheerily to Harry. Goyle walked quietly with Lauricia's hand in his own. She spoke occasionally. Fred and George trailed behind, whispering to each other.

In the warmth of the pub, they looked around. Harry spotted Ron almost immediately. With him, of course, should be Hermione. As he craned his neck to confirm this, Malfoy, by his side, made a pleased noise. 

"Sabra!" he said, his attention on a small cluster of Slytherins in the far corner. "Well, I'm off. The rest of you will be all right?"

"Harry's coming with us," Fred said grimly. 

"We'll be fine!" Lauricia chirped. Harry barely had time to nod his goodbyes before he was dragged off to Ron and Hermione's table by Fred and George. 

"Isn't Sabra supposed to be _saved_ from the dragon?" Fred muttered. 

Harry shot George a warning look. "Don't even think it," he said.

George laughed. "I've got other plans." 

 

Indeed, at the table, Fred and George moved in on either side of their little brother in a coordinated threat. Fred whispered something. When Harry sat between George and Hermione, Ron's objections were restrained to glares.

Hermione's nose wrinkled immediately. "Harry! Have you been smoking, again?"

Harry scowled. "Not enough. Unfortunately, I let Fred and George bring me fags, and they just had to muck about with them. I ended up helpless from one of their tricks."

Ron twitched in alarm, but Hermione just frowned at the twins. "You shouldn't pander to his bad habits, you know."

"I don't think we are." The two looked at each other and grinned. 

"After all, he can have them, but not lightly," Fred pointed out.

Hermione looked questioningly at Harry, who shrugged. "Typical tricks, but it's more serious than they think. I _can't_ have them." He slouched back, feeling cross. 

Madam Rosmerta came past their table, and the twins ordered whisky for themselves and butterbeer for Harry. As soon as she left, Hermione pulled a box from under the table. The box had holes, and frantic scratching noises came from inside it. She extended it to Harry like a peace offering, and he took it automatically.

"We bought a ferret," she whispered conspiratorially.

" _You_ did," Ron protested. 

"Ron's going to keep it in his room."

"I am _not._ "

"Ron -- we've been over this. We're only allowed one animal apiece. Lavender will tell on me, and your mates won't tell on you." As Hermione spoke, she opened the box. A white and grey ferret scrambled out and into Harry's hands. Harry held it in surprise for a moment, then the ferret slipped through his grasp and climbed up onto his shoulder, where it tickled his face with inquisitive whiskers. 

"I don't care --"

"Oh!" Harry exclaimed. "Of course we'll keep it, Hermione."

"I'm not keeping it!" Ron protested. 

Madam Rosmerta placed a tray on their table and leaned over to pet the little ferret. 

"Such a sweet thing!" She started unloading drinks from the tray. "What's its name?"

Harry and Hermione exchanged guilty looks. Harry realized they still expected animals not to be allowed in such places. "Haven't named it yet," he said bravely. 

"Do it soon!" she admonished, with a wag of her finger. "They need to learn young." With that, she clicked away across the floor. 

"Malfoy," Ron said, sniggering.

"What?" Harry glanced around. Draco was nowhere near them.

Ron focused on Hermione. "You should name it Malfoy."

Harry shifted uneasily. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Hermione was more specific. "Ron -- have you ever heard of the three a.m. rule?"

"The what?"

"Never name a pet anything you can't yell out your door at three a.m."

Harry smirked. "Imagine if it got lost. You'd be wandering around the castle calling "Malfoy! Here Malfoy!" Harry kept his voice pitched cautiously low. He didn't want one of Draco's friends to overhear and think he was making fun of Draco.

"And you'll start cooing at it, eventually," Hermione said. "Or I will, at least. I bet Harry will, too. And imagine how _that_ would sound." 

Ron blanched. He focused on Hermione. "You've convinced me," he said. 

The ferret had climbed down Harry's arm and was investigating his butterbeer. Harry dipped a finger in the drink and let the ferret lick it off. The ferret sneezed. 

"Smoke," Harry suggested slyly.

"Huh?" 

Hermione shot him an icy glare. "No." 

"But he's all grey and ... serpentine." 

"Will o' the wisp?" Ron tried.

"Mist," Hermione suggested. 

Harry lifted the wriggly ferret and nuzzled its coarse, musky coat. It settled down in his arms. "Shadow," he said. 

Hermione nodded. "Shadow, then. A good name for a spy." 

 

Harry stayed for one drink. Primarily, he played with the ferret. He and Ron both participated in the conversation intermittently, but Ron never spoke directly to him. When Ron addressed a reply to one of Harry's comments to Hermione, Harry saw Fred starting to fume. 

Harry downed the rest of his beer. "Got to go," he said. "I need some more clothes --" 

Ron snorted. "Right little fashion boy, now, aren't you?" he sneered. Harry was sufficiently taken aback by Ron acknowledging his existence to be at loss for words. 

"I think that's an excellent idea," Fred said, standing up. George threw back the rest of his whiskey and stood, also. "To start with, let's get you something that's not _green_. Come on." 

Harry did not protest at the escort. He would rather have the twins where he could keep an eye on them, at least until they talked to Dumbledore. After depositing the now-sleeping Shadow in Hermione's arms, he nodded a tentative and unacknowledged goodbye to Ron and headed out. The twins followed him like bodyguards.

 

"So," Fred asked, "what do you want to buy?"

Harry shrugged. "I got some good clothes -- you know, ones that fit -- this summer. Since then, I've realized that the robes are colored, but everything else is black, white, or grey. So I want some colored shirts, I think." 

Harry watched a gentleman in a blue and silver brocade cape and matching floppy hat pass them. "And I'm trying to understand wizarding styles."

"Don't fret over it, mate." 

"You're better off without all that." 

Harry looked at the two of them. Their trousers might have passed for jeans if the background blue hadn't been overlayed with an iridescent gold scaled pattern, but their lizard-skin jackets went down to mid-thigh. Harry pointed at Fred's trousers. "Would you wear those without a jacket?"

The twins exchanged an odd look. George laughed at a higher pitch than usual. "In a club, yeah."

"Or a party. Perhaps at home." 

"But not here," Harry pushed. "Not on the street."

"Well ... no." 

"See, that wouldn't occur to me. That they needed something other than a shirt, I mean."

George frowned at him. "It wouldn't?"

"Of course not. Muggles aren't particular about that." Harry gestured nebulously at the air. "It's just a _formal_ thing." 

By now, they had reached Gladrags. George frowned thoughtfully at Harry. "I've always liked your disregard for convention," he said. "I don't want you to get all stuffy."

"Disregard is fine," Harry responded. "Ignorance isn't. I like to know what rules I'm breaking, thank you, and I may choose not to, at times." 

"Well, it hasn't mattered much, until now," Fred contributed, opening the door and waving Harry through. 

"Children have more leeway."

"But you're hardly a child, anymore." 

George darted to the side and pulled a shimmering gold half-cape from a rack. "Here! If you want a looser look, go for a cape."

Harry looked at the garment in horror. It sparkled enough to hurt the eyes. The only person he could picture in such a thing was Gilderoy Lockhart. Still, capes, in general, seemed quite common. Harry scanned through the rest of the rack. A cape in green a shade darker than his robes caught his eye, but to placate the twins, he pulled out the next one he noticed -- a burgundy, three-quarter length cape. He swung that on over his robes. 

"Like this?"

"Right. But probably without the robes." 

"Unless it's cold enough to freeze dragon-fire." 

Harry grinned. "Well, maybe I should try some things." He whipped through the shirts, grabbing anything that caught his interest. He got admitted to a dressing room by the shop clerk (who seemed quite flustered to be attending to Harry Potter), then began showing his favorites to the twins. When Fred protested that one pale shirt was green, Harry glared at him. 

"Yes. One is green. One is also blue, but no one will mistake me for a Ravenclaw, now, will they?"

"But if they did --"

"Shut up, or I'll go buy a snake." 

"Harry --"

"And don't make me remind you who was nicest to me, today."

The twins looked at each other. "Harry?" George said tentatively. "No offense, mate, but is that what Ron has gone off about? These Slytherins you're chumming around with?"

"It's just Draco, really, and no, that's not what he's angry about. I can't tell you what he's angry about. You need to talk to Professor Dumbledore."

That shared look again. "Is this ... because of his old crowd?"

"In part."

"I'd think we'd...."

"Soon, I expect." 

"Harry...." Fred looked as serious as Harry had ever seen him. Harry suddenly realized that Fred, for all his jokes, was older than he had been when he left school. His next question was cautious, and almost fearful. "Are things all right between you and Dumbledore?"

 _That,_ Harry thought, _is a code, if anything is._ Regardless, he answered it literally. "Pretty much. I'm not thrilled with how he handled some things, but I'm mostly over it. We talk, occasionally." 

"I heard from Dad that he tried to become your guardian." 

Harry shrugged. "Just guilt, I think. It would have been a strain if he'd managed." He ducked back into the dressing room.

"But Harry!" George protested. "Fudge!"

"Yeah -- well, at least I sincerely hate him. There'll be no confusion." Harry shrugged at his reflection. "And I'm sixteen. Honestly, if I was a normal kid, they wouldn't give me a guardian. He can only do so much before public opinion turns against him." 

Harry tucked in the crimson shirt he had saved for last and surveyed himself in the mirror. He opened the door.

"What do you think?"

"Nice."

"Flashy," George said, in a tone of agreement. 

"How about a waistcoat?" Fred suggested. 

Harry accepted a dark gold satin waistcoat without protest, but then pounced on a brilliant green shirt saying how perfectly they went together. He enjoyed the distressed looks on the twin's faces. He was tempted by a black morning coat with gold and maroon details, but decided he looked ridiculous enough, by his own, admittedly rather twentieth-century Muggle, standards, in the cape. It did, he noted, conceal his bum, except when he turned sharply. It crossed his mind that his father's neat pivots might have a flirtatious origin, but he suppressed _that_ unnerving thought quickly. 

He ended up with three shirts: the emerald green, the crimson, and one in pale gold. The twins had apparently expected him to choose a single one, and were startled when he took the lot to the register, along with the burgundy cape, the gold waistcoat, and a fitted pair of burgundy trousers that tucked easily into his boots. 

"I'm beginning to suspect we need Ron's side of this," Fred whispered, none too quietly, while Harry was paying. Harry chatted with the clerk to avoid acknowledging the comment. 

 


	61. A Quorum of Weasleys

 

Fred and George escorted Harry back to Hogwarts, explaining along the way that they were not -- properly -- permitted into Gryffindor tower, but they expected to attend the victory celebration somehow. Harry allowed that no one was likely to report their presence in their own house. They walked together up to the headmaster's office. 

"Cinnamon Dragon's Eggs," Harry said to the guardian, and the door opened. Single-file, they went onto the staircase, and it brought them up to the landing. Dumbledore was coming towards them. He greeted them with a perfunctory nod. 

"Headmaster --"

"I'm afraid I have very little time, Mr. Potter. Is it quick?"

Harry waved an arm at the twins. "They thought I was an impostor. I've convinced them I'm not, but they have questions --"

Dumbledore held up a hand, and Harry fell silent. 

"That will _not_ be quick," Dumbledore said. He looked sharply at the twins. "You thought he was not Harry?"

"He looks different, sir."

"He sounds different." 

"I see." Dumbledore looked troubled. Slowly, he inclined his head. "We must talk, then. After breakfast tomorrow, perhaps?" At the twins' nods, Dumbledore turned to Harry. "You, as well."

"Yes, sir." 

"And none of you are to speak of it before then." At their murmurs of consent, Dumbledore's anxious look fled, and he smiled merrily. "Now get to Gryffindor, the lot of you! You have a victory to celebrate." 

The twins glanced at each other in quick delight. 

"Right away, sir!" George said happily. He caught at Harry's right arm, Fred grabbed the other, and between them they dragged their young business partner back onto the staircase. 

 

In the Gryffindor common room, the party was building up steam. Fred and George were soon moving from one cluster of Gryffindors to another, hawking products, taking orders, and accepting compliments on their exit last year. Harry watched them for a while. Occasionally someone would come up to him and compliment him on the game, and Harry would say thank you, and then comment on how well the team was developing. 

"That catch was spectacular," one of the younger girls said. Harry watched Fred take a small object from his pocket and drop it ostentatiously into his butterbeer. A warm orange color flowed up out of the bottle and into the air around him. 

"Thanks," Harry said absently. "The Chasers have melded spectacularly, don't you think so?"

"And such a fine furglewattsel!"

"Yeah, well...." Harry blinked and looked at the girl. "A what?"

Zoë stuck her tongue out at him. "Just seeing if you'd notice." 

Harry sighed. He certainly hadn't noticed it was Zoë speaking. "Sorry. It had been a long day by noon." 

Zoë grinned and sat down next to him. "The players only seem to enjoy these parties about half the time."

"We all slept badly and woke up early."

"Not to mention flew as hard as you could."

"Yeah."

Zoë looked past him and bit her lip. "Your girlfriend is descending. I better go."

"Stay."

"Why?"

"Running away looks guilty. You don't want to get me in trouble, do you?"

When Hermione reached them, Zoë was collapsed back into the cushions giggling. 

"Am I interrupting?" Hermione asked. 

"Not at all." Harry smiled at her. "I'm just taking your advice."

"What advice?"

"About finding my inner Slytherin." He raised his eyebrows at her. "He's more entertaining than I am, apparently. Or maybe that's just spending too much of my day with the twins." He patted the couch next to him. "Sit."

She sat awkwardly. "I think I said 'your inner sneak.'"

He shrugged. "Same thing." 

She looked uncomfortable. "Did you _ask_ them for cigarettes?"

Harry shrugged. He could feel himself blushing. "Sort of. They asked if they could bring me anything, and that's what I said I wanted."

"Were you really helpless?"

Harry laughed. "Really. But they hadn't thought I would be. You know how they don't think things through." He glanced over at Zoë, including her, then told them the story of the cigarettes, of floating out of reach of the tree, the wall, and his fallen wand, and of Goyle's threat and Draco's solution. He found that he didn't particularly mind making himself out to be a prat, even though he would have been humiliated if anyone else had told the story in that way. That was, after all, much of what made it funny. Even Hermione couldn't keep from smiling at parts of it. 

"So that's why you all came in to the pub together." 

"Exactly. Fred and George looked like they were swallowing poison when they agreed to walk down with us." 

"I'm surprised the Slytherins didn't mess you up, at least," Zoë said.

"Draco says he's using me for political advantage, establishing himself as a moderate." 

"How sweet. Wouldn't handing you over to You-Know-Who be a greater political advantage?"

Harry shrugged. "Briefly. But Voldemort won't rescue his father." 

Hermione collapsed back with a harsh exhalation. "Thankfully."

"Tom's a particularly capricious master," Harry observed. "Lucius Malfoy knew that, but I don't think Draco did." 

"Tom?" Zoë lifted her eyebrows in question.

Harry ducked his head. "Voldemort."

"Is that his given name? Tom Voldemort?"

Hermione snorted with laughter. Harry chuckled. "Tom Riddle. He made up 'Lord Voldemort' back when he was at Hogwarts." 

A few minutes later, with a few nervous glances at Zoë, Hermione asked Harry if he could take "that package" for her, now. Harry thought she was acting far too "cloak and dagger" about the whole thing. With a wink at Zoë, he agreed. 

"Great!" Hermione's relief was visible in her entire bearing. "Meet me at the bottom of the girls' staircase." 

She ran off, and Harry sauntered over more casually.

"What is it?" Zoë whispered, following him. 

"A pet. Don't tell." 

Her eyes sparkled at him in reply. "Does Ginny know?"

"She will soon enough, I expect. As far as I can tell, Hermione tells her everything." 

Zoë giggled. "Including how well you kiss." 

Harry didn't dare look at her.

 

Harry took the ferret up to his room. It had come with a cage, bedding, and water bottle, all shrunk down for transport. Harry got all that settled on the far side of his bed from the door, put Shadow in the cage, and went to fill the water bottle. When he came back, the Weasley twins were sitting on opposite ends of his bed, and had the ferret chasing madly after a little fuzzy spot of orange which they were controlling with their wands. 

"Are you supposed to be up here?" Harry demanded.

"Probably not."

The ferret collapsed exhausted onto its side, its long flank heaving with quick breaths. The orange spot dissipated like steam in a cold breeze.

"But you wanted us to complete an outfit for you."

"So we need to see these 'sexy Muggle trousers.'"

"All right." Harry picked up the ferret. "But let me put Shadow in his cage, first. Poor little beast -- you've worn him out."

Fred smirked. "He loved it, though."

 

Considering the number of times he had shared the team changing rooms with them, Harry felt oddly self-conscious about dropping his trousers in front of the twins. He supposed it was because they had their attention on him, now. He kept his back to them while he was drawing on the leather trousers. When he did up the zipper, a clearly appreciative murmur followed. Harry whirled. 

One of the twins -- Harry thought it was Fred -- was still sitting at the foot of his bed, but the other had stood, and was leaning against the bedpost. 

"Well," the standing twin said. He stepped closer, smirking. Harry thought this unusually aggressive of George, if it was George. Whoever it was began to walk slowly around him. Instinctively, Harry turned to keep him in sight. Definitely George, he decided. Fred sighed, then stood and mirrored his twin's path. Both circled slowly, carefully maintaining their positions on either side of Harry, so he could not face them both. 

"Will you stop that?" Harry snapped, after two such circles. 

"Very nice," George purred suggestively. 

"Didn't know you were into that sort of thing."

Fred laughed. "He's just into making you blush, really."

"Fred!" George complained. "Don't spoil my fun."

Harry thought this was making him even redder than the original circling. Desperately, he tried to regain control of the situation. "Um, so, I forgot to get a shirt, and I don't really have anything ... suitable." 

"Mm." George laughed slightly. "Tight and sleeveless?"

Fred looked thoughtful. "Or some elaborate thing with piles of lace?"

"Enough lace to hide a wand?"

"I was thinking tight," Harry admitted. 

"Ah, all right. Nasty Muggle bad boy?"

Harry choked. "I suppose." 

"Take off your shirt," Fred ordered. 

"What?" Harry yelped.

"We need to see what you'd look good in. Take it off, now." Fred laughed. "George, you've terrified the boy. I've never seen him act so shy." 

Embarrassed, Harry pulled off his shirt. The twins circled him again, but their manner was now businesslike, rather than predatory. 

"Not bad," George remarked conversationally. 

"Could do with a bit more definition, if he hopes to get away with _tight._ "

"Wouldn't be too hard, though. He's got a bit of muscle already, and nothing in the way." 

George stopped beside his brother, in front of Harry. Harry couldn't help noticing that the twins, even with their shirts on, were obviously muscular. "All right. Tight it is. But you should do a bit of upper body work every other night until then."

"Maybe take a Beater's position in practice occasionally."

"And we'll send you an alternate, in case you decide you can't carry it." 

Fred cocked his head to the side. "Shiny?"

"No," Harry said firmly. He stopped and reconsidered. 

"But yes?" George suggested. 

"I don't know. I mean, it's a fancy dress, right, so what I'd normally wear doesn't really apply...." Harry considered that. A fancy dress -- but of what? Muggle bad boy, like George had said? _Just anyone but me, I think._ He frowned. "I'll need someplace to put my wand."

"We'll get you a leg sheath. How long is it?"

"Eleven inches." 

"Great." George stepped back. "Well, get changed. We'll be downstairs."

"Okay." Harry turned away, and was completely unprepared for the solid slap that George landed on his arse in passing. Harry jumped forward and banged his knee on his trunk. "Ow!" He spun round to see George smirking at him from the doorway, while Fred tried to cover a smile. 

"Git!"

"If you're going to dress like _that_ , you know, you better get used to it." 

Fred snorted. "Assuming you're in company as ill-behaved as George." 

Harry, in a tangle of indignation, embarrassment, and amusement, managed a strangled, "Out!"

The twins left. Harry could hear their laughter echoing in the stairway. 

 

By the time Harry had changed back into his robes, his embarrassment had subsided. Thinking over the rest of the day, he felt quite certain that George felt no genuine attraction to him -- he was just taking advantage of an opportunity to make Harry feel uncomfortable. He decided to go downstairs and behave normally -- if he showed any embarrassment or anger, or even avoided the twins, George would claim it as a victory. 

Other parts of his day came back to him, now. Draco, Harry thought, had been interesting. Harry trusted him more than he had earlier. But Remus.... Harry remembered the last of the Marauders speaking eagerly to the young woman from the WFU. If Remus had not told him that his attractions were exclusively to men, Harry would have judged them to be a couple. The sparkle of joy on Remus's face when she smiled, his dismay at her disdain.... Harry recalled how Remus had warded his rooms when Miss Forest had visited earlier, and he wondered what relationship existed between the two werewolves.

He had a lingering feeling that he ought to tell someone that the two had been together -- Dumbledore, perhaps, or Severus. If Remus was emotionally involved with Miss Forest, in whatever manner, certainly someone ought to know? Or perhaps he should confront Remus himself. 

In the common room, Harry was preoccupied enough with this quandary that he scarcely noticed the twins. It wasn't until Fred sat down next to him that he realized they had been nearby several times. 

"Harry?" Fred looked serious again. Harry wondered if he would ever get used to that look on Fred's face. "You're not upset at George, are you? He was just winding you up."

"Uh... actually, I'd forgotten all about it. I was worrying about something else that happened today."

"With the Slytherins?"

Harry shook his head. "I can't tell you about it. Sorry."

"Got a lot you can't tell me about these days, haven't you?"

Harry shrugged. 

Fred looked at him sadly. "Can I do anything?"

Harry shrugged again. He looked around at the partying Gryffindors. At least five people, including a rather drunk Seamus, were sporting mood wings, and several clouds of color hung here and there. Harry found his face cracking in a smile. The details were new, but it was a marvelously familiar chaos. The twins were here. "Get me a butterbeer," he suggested. "With no er ... extra features?"

Fred grinned. "Right you are, mate." 

 

Hermione came over a minute later. She settled on the arm of Harry's chair and handed him a bottle. "Fred told me to bring this to you."

Harry looked quizzically at it. "Unopened?"

"He promises." 

Harry ignored the bottle and tugged at Hermione's waist until she slid down into his lap. She gave a little shriek. 

"Got you."

Her cheeks dimpled with a smile. "Yes, you do."

Harry kissed her -- on the cheek, as she twisted away, laughing. "Know what?"

"What?"

"You're better than butterbeer."

She swatted him lightly. "I'd hope so!"

 

After breakfast the next day, Harry and the twins went to the headmaster's office. "Cinnamon Dragon's Eggs" no longer worked as a password. Harry glanced over at Fred and George. "Mood wings." The stone shifted. Harry gave Fred and George a grin and thought they looked surprisingly tense. "Consider it a greeting," he said, and stepped onto the stairs. 

The door to Dumbledore's office was open, and Dumbledore was waiting. He nodded at them, and rose from his chair to come around the desk. "Fred, George -- so good to see you. The outside world is treating you well, I hear?" At their nods, he smiled and gesture to a door behind him. "Please go through there -- I've called a small meeting. Harry and I will join you in a minute."

Fred and George glanced nervously at each other, then nodded in perfect synchronization. "Yes, sir," George said, and they vanished through the door. Harry felt very alone. 

"I just wanted to warn you, Harry -- if the four youngest Weasleys are to know your secret, I felt the elder four should, as well. So they are all in there, with your father, and Tonks, because appearance is something of a specialty for her." He gave Harry a mischievous smile and gestured grandly after Fred and George. "Let us brave the assembled might of the Weasleys!" With that, Dumbledore stepped to the door, opened it, and waved Harry through. 

Harry walked nervously into what proved to be a small, dark-paneled room, mostly taken up by a table with five chairs on each side and one at either end. The assembled Weasleys were imposing in the formal context. Tonks, perhaps unconsciously, had set her hair to a matching red. Severus sat at the foot of the table, an empty chair buffering him from Charlie. He looked like a crow in a crowd of robins. 

"Harry?" Mrs. Weasley asked questioningly. As Harry met her eyes, her expression changed, becoming unusually guarded. She shrank back. 

Harry shivered. She was looking at him almost as the twins had done. "Dumbledore...." she began shakily, looking to the headmaster. 

"Hello, Mrs. Weasley." Harry said politely. He crossed gratefully to the empty chair next to his father. "You saved me a seat?" he teased.

Severus lifted his eyebrows. "No one else will sit with me."

Harry grinned at him. "Oh, and why would that be? Because you're sarcastic and argumentative?"

Severus smirked. "Of course not. They're just being unfair."

"Ah, I see." Harry rolled his eyes. "My mistake."

Severus sniggered. Harry looked around at the others. Most of the assembled Weasleys were watching with varying degrees of confusion and horror. Slow, matched looks of calculation were crossing the twins' faces. Ron, to Harry's surprise, looked lost, rather than angry or contemptuous. Ginny sent him a little private smile, and Harry realized this was the first time anyone but staff members had seen him interacting naturally with Severus. 

"We ... discovered something about Harry, this summer," Dumbledore began. "I found myself needing to explain the matter to Fred and George, and Ronald and Ginevra already know. Under the circumstances, and as you have all been close to him, I thought I should include the rest of the family. This information is not currently, however, known to the Order at large. Remus Lupin is the only member we have needed to tell, prior to this."

Everyone was watching him expectantly, and with visible impatience. Dumbledore took a noticeable breath. 

"Molly, Arthur -- you will recall the August Offensive of 1979, in which Voldemort's forces pursued pockets of resistance across the channel and in Ireland. Severus reported to us as much as he could glean in advance, then went to take his place with the Death Eaters." Dumbledore hesitated. "But not directly. Between, he went to James and Lily, and he requested Lily for Herem."

Mrs. Weasley sussed it. Harry looked away from the sudden horror on her face and saw that Mr. Weasley was still puzzling this through. Bill and Charlie appeared mystified -- Harry suspected they did not recognize the spell name. 

"What did you need an heir for?!" Mrs. Weasley snapped indignantly. Severus, at Harry's side, flinched. Mrs. Weasley's eyes narrowed and her voice grew more shrill. "You hated your family; you had no property. You just wanted _her._ " 

Harry, next to Severus, heard his breath catch. His father leaned forward. "I wanted _her_ to know I thought her worthy. If I died, I wanted her to _know_ that. I wanted it to be over, for her." He sneered. "But you wouldn't understand such things."

Harry, looking at the bloom of pity on Mrs. Weasley's face, thought she understood such things quite well -- perhaps better than Severus. Severus was breathing audibly. Cautiously, Harry settled his fingertips on Severus's forearm. The man shot a final resentful look at Mrs. Weasley, then sat back, his head high, but his eyes set on the worn surface of the table. Harry squeezed his arm once, then moved his hand away. 

"When Severus appeared to be dead, Lily conceived," Dumbledore went on, as if there had been no interruption. "When he returned alive, they were unsure what to do. The prophecy had been discussed here, and with that and ... other things ... they feared he could not keep a child safe from Voldemort. They decided to conceal it." 

Mr. Weasley was now rubbing wearily at his forehead, and Fred and George were wide-eyed with astonishment. Bill's eyes flicked appraisingly between Harry and Severus. _We should have sat on opposite sides of the room,_ Harry thought. _It would look like a tennis match._

"They cast the Paternity Charm prenatally, for fullest effect, to replace Severus's features with those of James." Charlie finally got it. His head snapped to the side to stare at them. Harry thought his wide-eyed astonishment nearly matched that on the twins, earlier.

"Lily used Arithmancy to extend the spell to Harry's sixteenth birthday. At that point, they no doubt expected, he would be free of the need for a guardian and could decide himself on the best action, in the unlikely event that Severus was still alive. Afraid that they might take the secret to their graves -- as, indeed, they did -- they time-sent letters to Harry's birthday, so that Harry and Severus would know what was happening, and why, when the charm began to fail.

"After the unfortunate attack on Harry's aunt and uncle, I placed Harry with Severus, hoping they might learn to get along." Dumbledore beamed at them. "That, at least, worked far better than I had expected." 

Severus raised an eyebrow at Harry, who held back a nervous laugh. 

"But ..." Mr. Weasley waved his hands helplessly. "If Snape is Harry's father, and you find him suitable --" a nervous glance at Severus was his only indication that he questioned this appraisal -- "why ever have you let Fudge get his claws into Harry?"

"Don't worry, Weasley," Severus said dryly; "we won't let the confirmation hearing pass." 

"I want Severus to remain in his current position until Halloween, if possible, or at least until the October full moon." 

"Huh!" Bill leaned back in his chair. "Can't very well stay with Voldemort when he's Harry's guardian, now can he?" 

"I will be green-listed."

Bill caught Harry's eye. "Death sentence, he means."

Harry shuddered, his mind, unbidden, calling up a memory of green light, but he managed a nod.

"We have considered all of this," Dumbledore said warningly. "Yesterday, however, a new complication came to my attention -- Fred and George arrived. Apparently, to someone who has not seen him for a month, Harry's physical changes are quite noticeable." 

"We thought he was an impostor," Fred said. Harry saw Ginny's little twitch and suppressed a smile.

"Since Fudge has indicated that he plans to visit, this is of some concern," Dumbledore concluded. "Any ideas on how to handle this are welcome."

Charlie shrugged. "You could transfigure him, couldn't you?"

"Transfiguration accelerates the effect," Severus countered. 

"The effect of the charm wearing off," Harry explained. "I've already made it worse twice -- once by something Fred and George gave me before I knew, and once by cracking my head -- blood loss."

They all considered this. Hesitantly, Mr. Weasley said:

"I know it's not -- it's bordering on Dark Arts, Dumbledore, but I expect you could affect Fudge's mind enough to make him see what he expects."

Dumbledore nodded. "I am capable of that. I would rather not."

Bill cocked his head to the side and regarded Harry thoughtfully. "How about a mask?" 

Harry laughed. Everyone else nodded, or at least appeared intrigued.

"You can't be serious!" Harry exclaimed. 

"He means a spell mask, Harry," Ron explained. He reddened and looked away. "It's ... it's not as good as transfiguring...."

Bill took over. "It can't be distinguished from the real thing by sight, but it can be torn easily. A minor scratch or something rubbing against it, and then you've had it!" 

"I doubt Fudge will touch his face," Severus observed dryly. 

"You'd need to be careful, dear, that's all," Molly said. She seemed to be over the revelation, now, judging by her encouraging smile. "And the changes in your body could be explained as a simple growth spurt. Stand up, love -- let's have a look at you." 

"We'd create the mask from a drawing, or better yet, a photograph," Bill continued, "but once --". 

"A photograph of me," Tonks interrupted. 

"What?"

"If he suddenly looks like he used to, everyone here will notice. I'll create a look somewhere in the middle -- you can all decide -- then one of you can photograph the face we choose and Bill will make a mask from that." She shrugged at the looks of surprise she was getting. "I've done this for friends' costumes before." She gave Harry a cheery grin. "Comfortable as a second skin, I'm told." 

The twins leaned over to look past Charlie. 

"So you meant it?"

"About the transfiguration?" 

Harry scowled. "Have I ever been difficult about your pranks before?" 

The twins looked at each other. 

"No...."

"But we've never seen you spend sixty galleons on clothes before, either."

"Or want to go to a bookstore." 

Severus twitched. "Did they try to transfigure you?" he demanded.

"No, I just thought it might be...."

"We call it the fish-eye view," Fred said enthusiastically. "Billiwig body powder -- it's cheaper than the venom because it doesn't cause the euphoria, just the floating --"

"-- a lightfoot spell to bring the consumer to a horizontal position --"

"-- and powdered streeler shell in a blue phase, to make everything appear bluish...."

Harry expected Severus to get indignant on his behalf, but he just frowned thoughtfully. "Streeler shell?"

"Depending on the phase --"

"I know that, you insolent brat! But the color change effect only works when inhaled. How --" 

A flash of panic crossed Fred's face, vanishing as he opened his mouth. Before he could begin improvising some improbable explanation, Severus had whirled on Harry. 

"You promised!" he shouted.

"Promised what?" Harry asked. He tried to look politely confused. 

Severus sneered. "Transparent."

"What?" Confusion came more naturally now. 

"That innocent look -- you have it _only_ when you are lying."

"Oh. Er ... it works with people who don't know me well." That was a mistake, Harry realized. He had as good as confessed.

"You asked Fred and George for cigarettes."

Harry reddened. "They were coming anyway, and they asked if they could bring me anything...."

"Quite a revelation, actually," Fred interjected bravely. "It's so hard to get people to inhale things, usually. We'd been working on a line of smoke bombs, but if we can sell people on _this,_ that opens up a whole new range of possibilities."

Severus scowled at Harry. "If smoking becomes a school fad, it will be your fault, you know."

"My fault! Why?"

"Because people do what you do." 

"Don't be ridiculous. Most people aren't as stupid as --"

A number of the younger Weasleys laughed. Harry sank down in his chair. 

"Ah, but they are," Fred said. "That's why you're the perfect person to send samples to."

Mrs. Weasley twitched. "Fred!" 

"You want to trust these two with critical information?" Severus demanded. 

Harry forced himself to sit upright. "Well, yes. I mean, they can be irritatingly irresponsible. But they can keep secrets --" He glared at Fred -- "when they're not bragging -- and they're _sly_." 

Severus drew in breath through his teeth. Slowly, he let it out again. He extended a hand, palm up. "Hand them over."

"I don't have them with me. And I really _can't_ have any. Several have transfigurative effects."

"And you expect me to believe the risk will dissuade you?

Harry's first reply caught in his throat. He caught his breath, and forced himself to meet his father's eyes. "I won't risk _you,_ " he said precisely. 

Severus struggled a moment before managing a fairly sarcastic:

"Thank you. I expect to receive the cigarettes with your homework, tomorrow." 

Harry considered. He had really planned on finding someone who would like them, but Fred's Machiavellian observation made that less appealing.

"Won't that look odd?"

"I suppose." Severus sat back. "Bring them to the detention I'll give you on Monday." 

"Father!"

"I _did_ warn you."

Harry shrugged. "All right." He looked down. "Sorry," he muttered.

Embarrassed, he glanced around at their audience. Bill, across the table, looked amused, and his mother shocked, but ... pleased? Harry wondered what she was pleased about. Mr. Weasley was hard to read, for once. 

Tonks, after sending him a lopsided, sympathetic smile, took the room's attention by beginning to mimic Harry's features. Ginny offered to run back to Gryffindor for photographs, then turned beet red at the thought of what she had just said. 

"She borrowed some from Colin," Ron intervened, in a sudden charitable impulse. "To convince us he was an impostor." 

Harry supposed Ron had gestured at him, but he couldn't look away from Tonks. Watching a face shift and waver through various permutations of his own was disturbing enough. That the face remained over a female body, in a thin shirt that draped down from her nipples, made it worse. Several minutes into her experiments, Tonks noticed his expression.

"You all right, Harry?" The question came from something like his mouth, and the wide eyes were certainly his own. Harry appreciated, now, why people commented on the intense color of his eyes. 

"Fine," he muttered, blushing.

Bill took his jacket from the back of his chair and tossed it at her. "Wear this, Tonks. A hundred variations on Harry's face is bad enough -- we don't need it over your tits." 

"Bill!"

Bill rolled his eyes at his mother's reproof. "Breasts," he amended. Tonks giggled. Bill grinned. "Obvious girly bits." 

With a wink at Bill, Tonks shrugged on the jacket, and they resumed the search for a compromise face.

 

When they had agreed upon a face, Dumbledore stood and clapped his hands for attention. 

"Thank you all for coming. Ron, Ginny, you may leave now."

Harry was surprised he was not also invited to leave. He sat very still, in case it was merely an oversight. Reluctantly, the two youngest Weasleys departed. Dumbledore nodded when the door closed behind them. 

"I think we should all meet next week, with Remus Lupin, to discuss the hearing." 

Harry felt a cold wave of apprehension drop through him at the idea of including Remus. He opened his mouth, then, after a look around the room, shut it again. He could not bring himself to publicly question Remus's loyalty. Remus's lunch date could well be just that, and Remus would be hurt, perhaps beyond the tolerance of their uneasy relationship, if he brought the matter up for scrutiny. Remus was no longer only his mentor, but not quite a friend; there was something delicate in this uncertain stage between ranks. 

Several people had risen and were speaking quietly to each other. The twins were talking to Dumbledore, and Charlie to his parents. Bill had pulled Severus aside. After surveying those present again, Harry decided he would speak to his father. Granted, Severus was the most likely to overreact, but that meant that his relayed accusations would be less connected to Harry than they might be when repeated by anyone else. Also, it might convince Severus that Harry was being properly cautious. And telling Dumbledore was just too official -- too serious. Harry stood up, determined to break into the conversation with Bill long enough to arrange a time he could port to Severus's rooms, but Molly Weasley interposed herself. 

"May I talk to you a minute, dear?"

Harry glanced uneasily past her, but Severus and Bill were deeply involved in an animated exchange that seemed surprisingly amicable. He nodded. "For a moment. I need to speak to my father."

Mrs. Weasley nodded, her red curls flashing as they bobbed in the light from the window.

"I understand. Harry, I wanted to apologize about my reaction, both to you, and to him. He's always been such an unpleasant man. I knew he wanted her, of course, that was difficult to miss, even in the once that I saw them together, but I never would have believed he loved her -- or anyone, for that matter. And at Order meetings -- he vilified James at any opportunity."

"Because of Sirius, you know," Harry justified. He felt a need to defend Severus. "Because he never trusted Sirius, but James did, and he thought it was from that that my mum died."

 Mrs. Weasley's eyes glimmered, though no tears fell. "Poor dears," she said huskily. "James Potter was a good, loyal man --"

"And right about Sirius," Harry interrupted. "But everyone _else_ believed he'd betrayed them, easily enough."

She sighed. "And it was poor Professor Lupin, before, that everyone suspected. Not even Sirius trusted him then. I've heard James actually asked him to stop coming to meetings, though he couched it as a way Lupin might clear his name."

Harry snorted. "And said that quite publicly, I expect, so that Pettigrew knew to be careful about passing on information that Remus didn't have."

_Another reason to keep it private._

"But you seem to be getting along," Mrs. Weasley tried hurriedly.

"Yes."

"It's difficult to imagine." Her cheeks dimpled with a smile. "All of my children come home complaining bitterly about Professor Snape."

Harry nodded. "I still do, for that. But personally...." He smiled nervously. "I change everything, don't I? And he's not ... demonstrative --" Harry felt his cheeks heat -- "but I'm not used to affection at all. I notice subtler things than most people might."

"Well, _I_ noticed that he smiled, today. And I had forgotten what that looked like." Mrs. Weasley laid a hand on his arm. "Take good care of him, Harry dear. But tell me if --" 

"Harry!" Dumbledore said, from across the room. Harry looked up. "I think you had better go now," Dumbledore said firmly. "I will notify you of next week's meeting, and you are welcome to attend." 

Harry nodded. He looked desperately to Severus and mouthed _later_. Severus nodded sharply. 

"If you would," Dumbledore urged politely. 

Harry left the room. Outside, he stopped to listen, and heard nothing. The room, apparently, was well warded.


	62. In the Wrong Place

 

Harry hoped to catch Severus's attention on the way out of lunch, but his seat at the staff table remained empty. Remus received an owl halfway through the meal and hurried away. Harry wished he trusted an owl to get a completely private word to his father. 

After Hermione left for the library, Harry fetched his cloak and slipped down to the dungeons. When he got to Severus's rooms, no light came from under the door. Harry made a sudden decision. He would go inside, then hide in his bedroom until Severus returned. That should be safe. He whispered the password, and the door swung silently open. 

Harry shut the door behind him before daring wandlight. The parlor was genuinely empty. Harry wondered if Severus had been summoned. Halfway to the door, he hesitated. He should go straight to his room ... but he hadn't brought any work or amusements with him. Perhaps he should take a book. 

Harry swept his wandlight across a low shelf. The glint of silver on dark leather caught his eye -- not a title, but the graphic of a trap, teethed and deadly. He pulled out the thin volume. Curses to Take Men's Souls, it read. 

Harry's hand clenched around the book, and he froze, unable to force himself push it back into the close-pressed volumes. His gaze returned to the embossed design. Disgust raised bile in his throat. _Souls.... But that is what we need, is it not?_ his mind urged. _Killing Voldemort's body has not been effective. If we could destroy his soul, or effectively entrap it...._ Harry stood, staring down at the yet unopened book, paralyzed with indecision. 

The door began to open. Light stabbed in from the hallway like a giant gleaming blade, and swept towards him. The kitchen door was on the other side of that encroaching sword. Harry, desperate, dived behind the couch. He landed with an audible thump, preserving his wand, but losing the book, which slid away. He scrambled to get his hood up, and his feet drawn under the cloak.

"Petrificalus!"

The spell was aimed blindly towards the sound, and missed him. More than one set of footsteps clattered into the room. Cold terror clawed at Harry's gut. Severus was not alone, which meant he could face far worse than a lecture on discretion. Harry stretched to see between the couch legs, but he was too far back to distinguish more than polished black leather glimmering slightly from beneath a low sweep of dull black fabric -- a robe or cape. He reached a covered hand out to the book, which had stopped just at the edge of the shadow of the couch, but it was too far away to retrieve without exposing his arm.

The footsteps approached more cautiously. 

"I think it was over here, sir."

 _Draco!_ Harry almost relaxed, then caught himself. _A Death Eater might be better. With Draco, we can't count on anything -- and Severus will continue to spy if his betrayal is uncertain._

The footsteps came closer yet. Draco peered down behind the couch, then looked curiously under it. Grey eyes, stretched open to catch all the available light, stared intently through his quarry. Harry tried to breathe without sound. 

"Anything?" Severus asked.

"Just a book." Draco pushed back and stood. Just as Harry was restraining a sigh of relief, the couch shifted forward. Harry knew he was still invisible, but he felt far more exposed. Draco stepped closer. 

"Odd. It doesn't look --" He shifted around to get a better look, and his polished shoe came down on Harry's hand. 

Something crunched. The pain was agonizing. Harry's body twitched with it as he fought to control his lungs. In terror and defiance, Harry managed not to scream, but no amount of angry control could keep the first harsh breath from audible release. Draco jumped back, yelping. 

"Mr. Malfoy!" 

"I'm fine." Draco stepped forward again. 

Harry thought his hand would burst apart from the pain. He bit his tongue and tried to stay largely still, though his body wanted the comfort of motion. He did not register the sight of Draco's foot sliding along the floor until it encountered his damaged hand. He muffled a hiss into the thick robe over his shoulder. Draco raised the toe of his shoe and rocked it forward and down with deliberate pressure. Harry's body wanted to yank the hand back, to curl around it, to arch up under the pain. His world shrank to locking himself in place, to leaking agony out in quiet whimpers pressed into muffling cloth. _Hurts hurts hurts hurts...._

Draco said something. His voice was distant, sly, and pleased. 

"Harry James _idiot_ Potter!" another voice snapped. 

Draco gasped and twitched back. A large hand clawed across the space behind the couch, managing to grab a handful of cloak and pull it to the side. Harry felt a moment of embarrassment that his eyes were watering with pain. He hoped it didn't look like he'd been really crying.

"Get up," Severus hissed from between clenched teeth. His eyes snapped with barely controlled fury. Harry struggled to sit without dropping his wand or using his damaged hand. He decided he had best pretend to have broken into his professor's room.

"Sorry ... sir." The words came out in broken gasps. He couldn't seem to control the flow of his breath. 

"Get up!"

Severus seized his collar, knocking the injured hand into the wall. Without the terror of discovery to stiffen his will, Harry finally screamed. He thrashed back from the pain, dropping his wand. Severus stared at him. Harry managed a shaky breath. 

"Hurts."

"Whatever I stepped on, I expect," noted a distant voice. Harry looked past his father's face to see Draco regarding him with cool evaluation. 

Severus leaned forward and unclasped the invisibility cloak. The slick fabric slithered from Harry's shoulders. His father reached forward and deftly unfolded the fingers of Harry's good hand from the swollen one beneath. Harry hissed when he touched it. 

"Well, well, Mr. Potter." He raised a challenging eyebrow. "Multiple broken bones, I expect. Obvious contusion and swelling. You'll need Pomfrey for that one." Harry had no more than nodded when Severus pointed his wand at the wounded hand. " _Immobilis_!" Severus looked almost amused. "But not yet. Can you speak, Potter?"

Harry considered the absurdity of saying "No." He swallowed. "Try," he answered jerkily. 

Severus looked disgusted. "Very well. _Torpeo_ _._ "

The hand went numb. Harry sighed in relief. He took several deep breaths. "Sorry, sir. I was only looking at the books."

"Sneaking into the Restricted Section of the library is no longer sufficient, Potter?" 

_That was wrong,_ Harry thought. He covered his confusion by bending to pick up his wand. _He should have screamed about me being in his rooms._

Severus held a hand out to Draco. "Let me see it," he snapped. 

"It's just some --"

"Now, Mr. Malfoy!" 

Draco, with an enigmatic look at Harry, placed the book in the waiting hand of his head of house. Severus glanced down at it and flinched.

"Harry!" 

"I hadn't even opened it!" Harry protested, before the thought registered that Severus's outrage was entirely wrong. "I was just looking at the cover!" 

Severus straightened and glowered at him. Somehow, he managed to convey the impression of looking down, though Harry doubted he was more than a few inches taller. He seized Harry by the arm, his fingers digging hard into skin and muscle, and dragged him over to the wall behind the armchair. He yanked open the door to his bedroom, and gave Harry a little shove. "In there. Now. I will deal with you after Mr. Malfoy has left." 

Harry stared at him. Severus couldn't honestly expect him to wait in his most private room, could he? Without _looking_ at anything?

Severus simply shut the door, letting the heavy oak push him back the last few inches. Harry heard the latch clack into place. Dark. He was enveloped in darkness. For a moment, all else was drowned out by the sounds of his own panic: a hammering heartbeat, shaky, quick breaths, then he started to pull himself under control. He was standing up, he was in a normal room, and all he had to do was to manage not to touch anything.

_But I can't see._

"Lumos."

Harry let out a shaky breath. He could do magic with his left hand; the room was no longer impenetrable blackness. Cautiously, he listened. 

"What are you doing, sir?" asked Malfoy's clear voice.

"Warding the door. He will not be able to hear us, now."

Harry was about to protest when it occurred to him that Severus might _intend_ him to hear the conversation -- but want Draco to think he had not. He finally let himself look behind him. To his relief, the room did not appear to be furnished out of Borgin and Burkes. Indeed, it was quite ordinary, if sparse. It was a bit larger than his own, with a canopied double bed, a dresser, and a wardrobe crowded at one end of it, leaving half the floor bare, but for a worn rug. Beyond that was a small tiled fireplace and another door. Harry kept himself from examining the things on the dresser, but he was vaguely aware of knives, vials, and books. He wondered if there was anything under the large, worn rug, but told himself not to look. Instead, he pulled a small foot rug from beside the bed to before the door, and he settled down to listen. 

 

*********

 

Severus was fuming -- and also afraid. He had sounded out Draco on several occasions since Harry began to regard the boy's loyalties as uncertain, and Draco had always responded with barely-prompted declarations of devotion to the Dark Lord and his cause. That might mean only that he believed this was what Severus wanted to hear, but Severus could not be certain. Confronted with his association with Harry, and with anti-Voldemort elements in Slytherin House, Draco hinted at cunning plans that would turn to the advantage of his father's master. Severus had no idea which interpretation to believe. 

He thought it likely that Draco _did_ resent the Dark Lord's treatment of his father. The highest purpose of the Dark Lord, in Malfoy's eyes, had not been to suppress mudbloods, but to ensure that the right sort of purebloods were held above the law. Draco must have absorbed that lesson at his father's knee. 

The subject of his musings crossed his arms over his thin chest. 

"Tell me," he said, in a voice thick with sarcasm, "how did _Harry_ get in? Are you so incompetent at guarding your rooms?"

Severus made a decision. He would assume Draco distrusted the Dark Lord, but still expected pureblood privilege. That was probably safe. 

"Harry is a most ... enthusiastic student," he said slyly. He prepared for the thrust. "I have given him my password."

"How ... unusual." 

Severus studied him. He could claim Harry as some sort of toy kept for sex and torment, and Draco might believe him -- or might not. Severus suspected the two boys knew each other better than they thought, and he had been Draco's Head of House for five years, now. The boy might find both roles too implausible to credit. He had better, he decided, make more liberal use of the truth than that. 

"Draco..." Severus sighed and gestured the boy to a seat. "I had hoped to avoid this, but the time has come to be frank with you."

"You are betraying our lord?" Draco suggested coldly. He ignored the offer.

"The Dark Lord was once a magnificent leader and a cunning politician," Severus answered. "However, there is a reason striving for immortality is ill-regarded. Surely you have noticed, Draco, that our illustrious leader is ... quite mad."

Draco looked thoughtful. "I had begun to consider the possibility, sir. I had still hoped, though, that perhaps I was, in my inexperience --" the words dripped with sarcasm in Draco's aristocratic drawl -- "missing some finer points of strategy."

Severus let his lip curl in a sneer. That, at least, was heartfelt, and Draco's response encouraging. Had the boy been waiting for a sign that it was safe to express doubt? On the other hand, perhaps he was just fishing for incriminating details to bring to the Dark Lord. "Your father had strategy. Voldemort had strategy in my youth. Now, however...." he let the words trail off, to allow Draco to complete the statement as he saw fit. Draco ignored the opening. 

"I am curious, sir," he prodded with superficial politeness, "as to how these reservations lead to allowing Harry access to your _private_ rooms."

Severus smirked. "Very few people have the capacity to effectively challenge our lord."

Draco's eyes narrowed in the following silence. "And Harry Potter is one?" he guessed. 

"Yes."

"And what does that gain us?" 

Severus went to the sideboard and poured himself a glass of wine. He had the distant thought that it was early afternoon, but he knew he needed to occupy his hands, or they could betray his anxiety. The stemmed glass, like a quill or knife, gave him something to twirl and stroke while he improvised his supposed plot. 

"Freedom from a capricious master," he said, slowly lifting the goblet into his line of sight, "and -- if we play the pieces to our advantage -- young Harry in power." 

"Harry would be _useless_ with power." 

"Harry would indeed be quite lost." The wine, black in the shadow, grew to a deep and powerful red when he held it before a flame. "However, he sees me as his mentor, you as his friend." He focused past the glass, directly on the Malfoy boy. "When he is lost, to whom will he turn?"

"I'm not certain he will be _lost_ , Professor Snape. Harry has strong beliefs."

"Harry has strong expressions of beliefs, but the beliefs, in themselves, are easily changed," Severus shot back. He remembered that Harry was listening, and hoped Harry had the sense to understand what he was doing, rather than thinking that he believed this. "He has been persecuted by Muggles. Unfortunately, our lord chose to mirror this treatment, alienating him equally from our cause. Still, he remains balanced, with no trust of either side. A bit of favorable treatment from well-placed wizards should convince him we are preferable to the alternative." 

Draco looked contemptuous. "He won't abandon Granger. Don't expect it. He's invited her to the Halloween Ball, don't you know?"

With a shrug, Severus dismissed the matter. "Youthful indiscretions. I did as much, at his age, for a pretty girl." 

Disowning Lily tore at his soul as it had not in years, and his dismay was edged with panic at the thought of their son listening. He wondered if it was easier or harder for Harry to hear than for him to say. _Why did I allow Harry to listen to this conversation?_

"So you think he'll outgrow her?"

 _Because he will need to know everything I said._ Severus held the boy's gaze. "Of course," he replied. He tried to push back the thought of his captive audience. "She's only a Mudblood, after all." _And I am a liar, a killer, a traitor -- but he knows that, all of it. Lily, dear ghost, does he know that I loved you?_

Draco's stare was without expression -- a mirror, perhaps to his own. Severus had no idea if he had impressed the boy or if his worth to the Dark Lord was currently being calculated and spent. Draco, with a touch of his father's elegant grace, finally settled himself on the couch, still skewed from the wall. 

"So," he pressed, "we return to my original question. Why does he have access to your rooms?"

Severus sat also, in the chair beside the couch. He could not help noting that he had sat this way many times in the past few months, with Harry in Draco's place. He leaned forward. "For the library."

"What?" Draco's brow furrowed. His eyes flickered to the book, still out on the table. The title and trap gleamed in the dim light. 

"He'll never defeat the Dark Lord with what little the headmaster would have him learn. Also, the practice of certain Dark Arts will alleviate some of his more ... difficult traits." 

Draco's eyebrows rose in cool interest. "Did you assign him ... that book?"

"No." Severus smiled coldly and raised the glass to his lips. "But his instincts are flawless." He took a sip of the dark wine and it burst into flavors -- fruit and wood and tannin and smoke blessing his tongue in a sudden perfect mosaic of taste. _Fear,_ he thought. _Each taste, as each action, is distinct._ He fixed Draco with an intense stare. 

"You are probably even now evaluating the worth of betraying me. Certainly, in your position, I would be." That pulled a wry smile from Draco. Severus did not return it. "Before you make your decision, I ask that you observe for a few weeks. Consider his strategies. Consider if this is a lord worth following, in these times."

Draco nodded. "Certainly, sir. Perhaps we could discuss the matter in a week or two?"

 _When you've decided on your demands,_ Severus thought, but he merely nodded politely. The thought of Draco Malfoy blackmailing him was irritating, but also reassuring. That gave him control, at a price. "Certainly." 

 

Draco was not inclined to linger. As soon as he had departed, Severus checked the door for interference, and when his wards proved secure, called Harry out. 

" _What_ did you think you were DOING?" The reproof started with controlled menace, but somehow degenerated to a shriek of fury. Severus was at once horrified and pleased by how harshly the words left him, by Harry's flinch and the mortification in his pale face. 

"No one was here. I thought I'd wait in my room."

"No one was here," Severus repeated mockingly. "And how did you know?"

"It was dark."

Severus repressed simultaneous impulses to laugh and to shove the boy into the wall. 

"Nevertheless, I might have had company." When a bloom of red on Harry's cheeks informed him that the boy had understood the most obvious interpretation of that, he added: "And there are certain curses that must be cast in total darkness. An advantage to a dungeon room." 

Harry shivered. "Could we modify the portkey?"

"I'm tempted to take the portkey from you."

"I walked down, today. If it went straight to my room, I could appear there whether you had company or not. If my room was shielded to allow sound in, but not out, I could safely wait there."

"And spy on me at will, I suppose!" Even as the words burst out, Severus reconsidered. The idea was sound, if he spent some time working out a few details. 

"Tell me what you're here for. Convince me this is not frivolous."

 

*********

 

Harry shivered. He had hoped to not make too much of the problem that had brought him here, but here he was, needing it to seem as important as possible. He decided to emphasize Forest, rather than Remus. 

"That Wolven Freedom Union woman -- the one who visited Remus, who you said was part of the delegation to the Dark Lord? She was in Hogsmeade, yesterday. I saw her. I tried to talk to you after the meeting, this morning--"

His father's grim glower had not lightened. 

"With Lupin?" he suggested bitingly.

Harry bit his lip. "Not in secret. They were at the Three Broomsticks, drinking together." He took a deep breath. "I think they have some sort of emotional involvement."

Severus looked contemptuous. "Lupin seems a bit old to expand his romantic interests to women."

Harry had thought about this matter quite a bit the night before. Despite the trouble it had given him, he found Severus's similar assumption annoying.

"There's more to things than sex, you know!" he snapped. "Remus looked upset the woman was displeased with him, but I expect I look as bad at any frown from Ron, and I can't imagine having any interest in _him_ that way! But he's my friend, and his opinion matters to me, and it hurts to have him upset. And Remus looked hurt when this woman glared at him, and they'd been--" Harry didn't know how to describe the intimate joy he had first seen between the two. "She's not just some werewolf he happens to know. She _matters_ to him."

He found he was leaning against the wall, arms wrapped around himself, shaking with having said so much and knowing so little, at Ron's abandonment of him and the anguish on Remus's face....

"Tell me you didn't stay and watch."

"I didn't. But it took a while to get back to the door unseen, and I could see them again from there." 

Severus reached out hesitantly. Stained fingertips brushed across Harry's shoulder, gripped momentarily, and fell away. "Thank you for telling me -- but we do need a better system. If it had been Avery...." He made a slight wry sound. "Do you think I will survive Draco?"

"I hope so. You're in a better position to keep an eye on him than I am."

"I can monitor the Slytherin fireplaces and a few less obvious means of communication -- but I cannot prevent him from walking up to the Owlery." 

"I'll watch him too, then. _Should_ I pretend that you are tutoring me in Dark Arts? That was part of it, right?"

"Yes, but remember, you did not hear that." Severus smiled slightly. "And I didn't tell you. If he asks you, deny it. It's what you should do in such a situation, and you will be much more believable in nervous denial than trying to play a part that Malfoy knows better than you do." 

"So the story is that you are trying establish me as a sort of protégé before I kill the Dark Lord. Why am I going along with this?"

Severus shrugged. "Perhaps you should decide that. Why might you study Dark Arts under me?"

Harry shrugged. "To kill him, of course. I _do_ need to win."

An oddly strained expression tightened Severus's features. "Ah, of course. My little Slytherin-in-hiding." His mouth twisted into a harsh smile. "Which I should remember when you promise to behave."

"Look, it's just--"

"That what you want is more important than anything else?"

"I don't know! Maybe that some clothes and manners don't mean you have too much control over me--" Harry stopped, startled by his own words. "I mean, I'm not being too much a proper young wizard...."

Severus choked. "I shouldn't worry about that!"

"But my friends do. I mean, Fred and George and Ron all gave me a hard time about buying clothes, and I bought far more than I would have otherwise, just to irritate the twins."

"You did not accept fashion advice from them, I hope?"

"As far as I can tell, their tastes are hopelessly gaudy." 

"Correct." 

"I bought one thing that they suggested, but it's just a waistcoat, so I can wear it with darker things. Other than that, I chose for myself, and it was mostly fairly conservative, I think. A few shirts. A cape, which is odd for me, but seems common--"

"What length?"

"Mid-calf." 

"Respectable, especially for a young man. Dark or light?"

"Dark burgundy."

"Good. Anything else?"

"The one odd thing was some trousers, fitted at the hips and ankles. They fit in my boots perfectly, and matched the cape. I've seen those now and then, I think." 

Severus lifted his eyebrows. "They sound quite fashionable."

"Fashionable, how?" Harry asked suspiciously. 

Severus laughed. "Not too outré, if that is what you're asking. A bit modern. For a first date at an expensive, but not conservative, restaurant, perhaps. They probably suit your politics and nominal lineage, if not your actual upbringing, admirably. Did the Weasleys choke?" 

Harry laughed. "Stared, more like." 

"Well, you'll need to wear it down here, some time, so I can tell you if it's the sort of thing I'm picturing, or if you just look ridiculous." 

Harry watched Severus pick up a nearly full goblet of red wine from the side table, stare at it for a moment, and put it down again. _I wonder if he actually wanted that, or just poured it out of habit when starting a conference? For that matter, why was Draco here? Do the Slytherins usually come here, or is it just Draco?_ Harry was surprised to realize that he felt a bit ... _not jealous,_ he decided. _Territorial._

"I need to make the skin for your mask."

"Can I come with you? You can ward the lab for sound."

Severus glanced at Harry's hand. After it had been numbed, Harry had settled it against his side, but he had otherwise forgotten about it. 

"For an hour. Then you need to go see Madam Pomfrey. Injuries are easier to heal in the first few hours." 

Harry nodded. "All right." 

 

With Harry under his invisibility cloak, they walked to the lab. Snape warded the door before allowing Harry to remove the cloak. Harry thought the unpleasant repercussions were done with, but preparing potions ingredients seemed to free some part of Severus's mind. While the Potions Master was metering mercury into a thin graduated cylinder, he started the interrogation. 

" _Do_ tell me you were not about to start that book." 

Harry shifted uneasily. "I hadn't decided."

"Hadn't decided." 

Harry thought that if he sounded that angry, his measurements would be off, but his father seemed able to push the disturbance into precision. 

"I hadn't opened it, but if it tells how to trap souls -- or, better yet, destroy them -- it could be just what we need."

Severus finished with the mercury, and began to slice some purple, squishy thing with unnecessary vehemence. "Don't be an idiot!" 

"I'm being practical."

His father actually looked up. "And what do you think the price for that would be? Do you think I want to try to kill _you_ , next?" A snarl faded from his face as he shook his head. "I couldn't do it." 

"You'd kill me for that?" Harry felt abandoned -- and confused. 

Severus laid the knife aside and wiped his hands on a clean white towel, leaving it streaked with maroon slime. He turned to face Harry.

" _If_ you take the Dark Lord down in that manner," he said crisply, "you will be the _next_ Dark Lord. Don't persuade yourself otherwise."

Harry opened his mouth to protest, then closed it again. 

"Consider some of the things that I have permitted you to read, then take me seriously when I tell you that you may not touch that book."

Harry nodded. His father continued to watch him. "Yes, sir," he said belatedly. 

Severus returned to his counter. He set the oozing purple slices aside, and tipped a container of round, red things into a mortar. "I should kill him -- the Dark Lord, I mean, not Draco." 

"You can't!"

"I can try." Severus dragged the pestle hard against the mortar's grooved sides. The red things let out a sweet, unpleasant smell. Harry sniffed at it several times, trying to identify why it repulsed him, before recalling the similar smell of the remains of a half-eaten mouse, left decaying on his Aunt's sun-warmed patio by a neighbor's cat. He wondered if decaying people smelled like that. He thought about killing Voldemort. Severus couldn't kill Voldemort, he was certain. Harry was the one who could. 

"The prophesy says I kill him or he kills me," Harry said, out loud. He had a sudden thought. "So you can only kill him if he has _already_ killed me, right?" Severus looked at him in surprise, but Harry pressed on. "So if you try to kill him, either you'll fail, or you'll succeed and know that I am dead."

For a moment, Harry thought that Severus would hurl the mortar and its contents across the room, but Severus's care to his potions was an even stronger force than his temper. He set the mortar and pestle down and backed a step away from them. 

"I need to do something," he insisted. He sounded unreasoning, feverish. "Something that matters."

"You can't atone for killing people by killing people!"

Severus snapped his head around to glare at him. "So what are you atoning for?" 

Harry slumped down on his stool. "Living," he said.

Severus sneered. "More difficult than it ought to be, isn't it?"

Harry nodded. His father sighed. 

"Keep this clear, Harry," he said carefully. "I want Draco to believe I am teaching you Dark Arts. I have no intention of actually doing so -- certainly not that sort. Perhaps a few traps or alarm spells, or some scrying, if you have a specific need for it, but _not_ how to destroy someone's soul."

"I understand." 

Severus returned to the mortar and pestle, and the sickening smell returned. Harry tried to think of some way to change the subject. 

"Draco protected me, yesterday," he said finally.

"Protected you?"

"Goyle found me after the twins' prank. I was helpless. Goyle tried to go for me, but Draco stopped him." Harry pushed up his glasses, then, in irritation, took them off and rubbed behind his ears. He wondered if he was outgrowing the frames.

"To keep him out of trouble, no doubt."

"No one was in sight. Well, no one except the Barrett girl, with them." Harry hesitated. "He might not betray me." 

"Hope for loyalty, if you wish. I will settle for dragging out the extortion phase until November."

"Will you be safe going to the hearing if Lord Tom knows?"

Severus let out a bark of laughter. "Safe, I suppose, but it's the one thing that might be enough for me to lose."

"What?"

"Imagine, Harry, if the Mark starts burning _during_ the hearing. The Dark Lord, with care, can make it agonizing. It's one thing for them to know I was a Death Eater, and quite another for them to see me writhing on the floor, or, at best, unable to speak for pain. They could find me incompetent."

Harry nodded. "If you tried to kill him, that would kind of give it away, don't you think?"

Severus whipped his head up to stare. 

"Promise?" Harry asked. 

Severus snorted. "A Slytherin promise or a Gryffindor promise?"

"Honestly, I think I want a Hufflepuff promise." 

Severus laughed. 

"Go and see Madam Pomfrey. I will see you on Tuesday evening, after dinner, in my rooms. I promise that." 

 


	63. Points of View

 

Harry did go to see Madam Pomfrey, who tutted over him, healed the hand, and then immobilized it again.

"See me before classes tomorrow morning, and I'll tell you if that's ready to be used, yet."

Relieved that he was not being kept in the hospital wing, Harry hurried back to Gryffindor. He knew he couldn't avoid Draco indefinitely, but he hoped to delay their next private encounter until after he had decided what to say. 

He entered the Gryffindor common room to the sound of an annoyed huff from Lavender. 

"Colin, I _do not care_! Get this through your head: I won't go to the Halloween Ball with you. You are a pathetic, obsessive, useless annoyance! _Go away._ " 

Harry saw Colin press forward and saw Lavender slap him. The fifth-year froze, raised his hand to his reddened cheek, and then suddenly turned and fled. His camera bumped against his chest as he scrambled through the portrait hole and into the hallway. 

Lavender looked around the silent room and smiled apologetically. 

"Sorry. He wouldn't take anything less." 

A few people nodded acknowledgment, and the pretty girl went back to her homework. Harry, who felt sorry for Colin, but also knew how Lavender felt, crossed the room and headed up to the sixth-year boys' dormitory. 

 

Ron was in the room. Harry wasn't sure if anything had improved between them or not. When Ron didn't say anything, he decided not. Sighing, Harry dropped his bag by his bed and went to say hello to his foster-pet. 

The cage was empty. Harry looked frantically in the little house, all the corners, and places not half big enough to hide a young ferret. 

"Shadow's missing!" he said finally, more from the need to voice his distress than from any hope of assistance. 

"Hermione took him," Ron said, after a few seconds of silence, but as casually as if he had spoken immediately. 

"Oh." Harry stood and turned around. Ron was staring intently at his Charms text. "Why?"

"She wanted to do some experiments." 

"Oh." Harry felt lost. 

"I think she went to the Room of Requirement. You could probably catch her up." Ron turned a page. 

"Oh." Harry realized he had said that several times. He picked up his school bag. Perhaps he'd have time to do some of his neglected homework. "All right. Thanks, Ron." 

Ron ignored him. Harry, feeling awkward, but somewhat hopeful, left in silence.

When he got to the fifth floor corridor, the door was already there. That, Harry knew, meant that someone had summoned a room. He tried the door cautiously, and found it unlocked. He went in. 

Hermione was lying on her stomach on a carpeted floor. Shadow was humping around in circles and swerves. When Harry entered, Shadow ran, first away from him, then back to investigate. He arched his back and began to jump back and forth, making a soft chuckling sound. Harry plopped down on the floor and held out his hand.

"Hey, little one," Harry murmured, letting the ferret run frantically onto his legs, then off again. "Thought I'd lost you."

"Har-ree," Hermione managed. Harry stiffened. He looked over at her. She was still lying on her stomach, with her head raised, but her eyes closed. "Odd smells. No green." 

Harry studied her for a moment. _Ron said she was going to experiment with Shadow._ He looked at Shadow. He didn't know much about ferrets, but the ferret was clearly in a far more normal state than Hermione. As casually as possible, he said, "I've been in the potions lab." 

Hermione squirmed a few inches forward on her elbows, then stopped. 

"Hermione," Harry asked cautiously. "You there?"

"Here!" she chirped. 

"Ah." He was unnerved by her blank face and placidly closed eyes. _Sedative?_ He closed his eyes. It was easier to think when he didn't have to see her. _It's some sort of magical accident or side effect. She was experimenting with the ferret._ The ferret, unconcerned, climbed him and burrowed under the hair that covered the back of his neck. Harry was glad he was wearing a thick jumper under his robe. 

"And where is 'here,' exactly?"

Hermione's face scrunched up, as if she was trying to picture something. Harry sighed and crawled the few feet to where she lay, causing Shadow to jump from his lurching back. He reached out a hand, but froze with it a few inches above her. Perhaps he shouldn't touch. He leaned forward and blew softly on the side of her face. "Hermione." 

She shivered. "Off." 

Harry, abandoning caution, grabbed her shoulder. "Hermione!"

"Ah!" With a frightened cry, Hermione rolled to her back, her arms and legs curling in. She saw Harry, and tried to straighten. "Oh!" He pulled her to a sitting position, but she lost her balance and fell into him. "Oh."

"Are you here?" Harry asked again. He could feel his heart hammering wildly, but his voice sounded calm and steady. Hermione swallowed and nodded. He kept his arms around her and he held on tight. 

_What the hell were you doing?_ he wanted to scream, but he restrained himself. She would tell him, if he let her. When he thought she had caught her breath, he spoke. "Good thing I came in, I suppose." 

"Sorry. I was trying a spell to see through Shadow's eyes." She bit her lip. "I didn't think I'd get lost."

Harry wanted to shake her and yell. Perception spells, as Flitwick and Lupin had both made clear, were nothing to play with. He managed to just roll his eyes. "You're our cautious scholar, Hermione. _I'm_ the one who's supposed to do stupid, dangerous things." 

"It worked!" she retorted.

"Starting it worked! Could you have stopped it? You should have had someone down here with you. You know that! Next time you plan to try something new, get me or Ron to come watch, okay?"

"I couldn't find you. And Ron was busy." 

Harry felt a flash of anger. _How could Ron think anything was more important than --_ He caught himself. "Did you _tell_ Ron you needed him?"

Hermione hesitated. "Well, no."

"Hermione!"

"He had to finish his Charms reading."

"Which he could bloody well have done here!"

"Oh. I suppose." 

Harry pulled her close, and for good measure, kissed the top of her head. "Don't do that again." 

"All right," she agreed, but squirmed away, obviously out of sorts. Harry couldn't help thinking that her reaction had a bit of the animal to it. He looked for Shadow. The ferret had dragged a quill out of his school bag and was happily and repeatedly killing it. Harry sighed. The quill was probably done for, by now. He pulled out his wand and cleaned up the spattered ink, and let the ferret continue to chew and kick at the feather. 

"So, what's it like?"

Hermione frowned. "Everything is a long way up and very blurry. And the things he notices are different. The charm was actually quite easy -- I got it on the first try. Learning how to interpret what he sees and hears is going to be difficult, and I'm not sure I'll ever manage to understand the smells."

"Oh, just keep at it," Harry said. He glared at her. " _With_ a partner." 

"Fine! You're right, and I'll bring one of you next time. Now stop nagging!"

Harry nodded. "Fair enough." He grinned. "You need an observer, anyway. Do you know what you said when I came in, and Shadow ran across my lap?"

"I _said_ something?"

"It was creepy, really. You were on your stomach with your head raised, like a snake, and you said my name, then 'Odd smells. No green.'"

"Well, I saw it was you." 

"No green?" 

"Your eyes were just medium-dark. He doesn't see much color." 

"Ah." 

Hermione leaned forward and sniffed experimentally at Harry. "And you _do_ smell odd. Not bad, just _odd_. Like Potions --" She stopped, her eyes widening.

"I was in the lab, watching him brew." 

"Not helping?"

"Draco had stepped on my hand." At Hermione's curious look, Harry shook his head. "It's all right now. Pomfrey fixed it. And he didn't mean to; I was invisible, and trying to hide." 

"Oh." Hermione looked down. "When did you come back?"

"About an hour ago. Why?"

"I, um...." Hermione cringed slightly. "Harry, don't be angry."

Harry found his temper rising in anticipation. "What?"

"I sent him an owl. Telling him you were smoking." 

With an explosive sigh, Harry threw himself down on the rug. He picked at the soft wool pile.

"Look, just stay out of it, can't you?"

"It isn't that I want to get you in trouble--"

"Then why tell him? He's still Snape. He's still Head of Slytherin." 

Hermione pushed her hair back over her shoulder. Her face tightened. "But he hates it. And I hate it too." 

Harry closed his eyes. "Ah." He shrugged. "Well, I can't have any more, so it's moot, except for getting punished. And he'd already found out, because Fred underestimated the significance of something he said." Harry scowled. "Prat." He wondered if Ron had talked to her about the Weasley family conference yet. If not, he should do it soon. 

Hermione's mouth quirked. "But such a brilliant one."

"Much like you." Harry gave her a conspiratorial smile. "And me, I suppose. Want to do another round with Shadow? I brought my books." 

 

Hermione gave herself a one-hour time limit, and recast the charm. Harry tried to ignore her occasional odd vocalizations. She had wanted him to check that Shadow was acting normally, and he tried, but it was odd playing with the ferret when he knew Hermione was seeing out of its eyes. Fortunately, the Room had provided a lot of things for the ferret to climb on and through, although not anything for it to play with. Harry couldn't concentrate enough to work. While Shadow scrambled around, he took out the still-shrunk bundle from the bookstore, expanded it, and started a children's chapter book titled My Own Owl. A rather cute tawny owl flew showily in and out of the cover illustration.

He was halfway through Chapter Three (eleven-year-old Ethie was trying to persuade her cousin to let her send a letter to her parents) when the ferret came back and started bouncing and chuckling again. Harry tried offering it the remains of the quill. Shadow played with that for a minute, then returned. A bit of crumpled parchment amused him for much longer, however, and the emptied school bag turned out to be a great way for him to wrestle Harry's hand without drawing blood. Eventually, Shadow wore himself out, and curled up in a little ball on top of the bag. 

Harry glanced over at Hermione, but she didn't show any sign of returning to normal awareness. He checked the time. When he saw that she only had five minutes until her alarm went off, he went back to his book. When Hermione's alarm sounded, Harry stopped reading and watched her to see if she would notice. Hermione twitched. She had left instructions for Harry to wait until the alarm repeated before intervening. When it did, Hermione opened her eyes on her own. 

"Time?"

"Yes. Your alarm just went off the second time." 

Hermione pushed up on her hands, then sat up fully. She looked disoriented, again. 

"I think that's enough for the night," Harry said mildly. "I like you as a girl."

"I'm not ... not in his mind, or anything."

"Still. You're not yourself, yet." Harry bit his lip. "Take it easy, all right?"

Hermione rubbed at her face like a tired child. She looked around. "I s'pose." She seemed to be struggling for words for a moment. Harry found that more disconcerting than anything that had gone before. Finally, she focused on his hands. "What are you reading?"

"Wizarding children's book." Harry held up My Own Owl. "It's sort of a growing up story, I suppose. She's already got her Hogwarts letter, but it's still summer. She's staying with her cousins. Her father wants her to get a rat, and she's pleading with her mother for an owl." 

Hermione laughed. "Why are you reading that?"

"I'm trying to figure out wizarding assumptions. Someone suggested I read fiction, especially children's and classics." 

Hermione frowned. "Let me guess -- Snape." 

She sounded almost like herself, again, but Harry still felt annoyed. "Lupin, actually." 

"Oh." 

Harry packed as many of the books as would fit into his bag, then tucked the remaining four under his arm. "Ready to go?"

"I guess so."

"Let's, then." 

 

When they got back to Gryffindor, Harry went straight up to his room to put away the books and Shadow, who was riding in his bag on top of them. Ron was there, glowering at a mostly-blank parchment. Harry coaxed the ferret into his cage, then knelt at his trunk and began to put away his books. He found himself doing it carefully and quietly, as if it would be dangerous for Ron to notice his presence.

"Found her, did you?"

Harry nearly dropped the book his was holding. He was very glad that he was facing away from Ron, so his shock didn't show.

He tried to speak casually, but his voice came out too loud as he answered:

"Yeah, no problem." He wondered whether to leave it at that. It would be safer, but he decided Ron should know. "She was doing an experimental charm by herself. I got her back." 

"What!" 

Harry shut the trunk. "She'd used a charm to see through the ferret's eyes, and she was stuck."

Ron drew his breath in with a shaky hiss. "Doesn't she know how dangerous that is?"

"Apparently not." Harry let out a held breath. "Or she thinks _she's_ too clever to have trouble. So, find out what she's asking, when she asks you if you're busy."

"I had no idea she --"

"I _know._ " Harry collapsed down on his bed, laced his fingers behind his head, and stared at the canopy. For a while, Ron was silent. Harry hoped he wasn't offended.

"So, Harry...."

Harry hoped the angle was wrong for Ron to see the silly grin that spread across his face just at hearing Ron say his name like they were friends. 

"Yeah?"

"You reckon I might have a chance, asking Lavender to the Halloween Ball?"

Harry shrugged. "You might. You're not Colin."

"Not a bit."

Harry thought. "If you can ask her sometime when he's there and she's trying to get rid of him, that will give you the best shot. But she's going to want someone soon, if only to keep him off, so don't wait too long."

Ron was silent for a minute. "Reckon you're right," he said finally.

Harry made a non-committal sound. 

Ron stood up. "I should work on this in the common room, then."

"That's right. Stake her out."

"Er... yeah. G'night."

With that, Ron left. Harry stayed smiling up at the canopy until his cheeks hurt. 

 

On Monday morning, Ron sat near Harry at breakfast. He didn't speak to him much, but he didn't ignore him. Neither acknowledged that anything had changed. Harry would have been happy, if his next class were not Potions. He knew he could not avoid Draco there without blatantly snubbing him. 

Draco, like Ron, seemed to be pretending nothing had happened. He made sly, cutting remarks about the other students, staying just a tad short of the sort of nastiness Harry would feel obliged to counter. Severus glared at them every time Draco whispered, and snapped when Harry choked back a laugh. 

"Potter!"

"Sorry."

"You certainly will be. Detention -- immediately after dinner tonight." 

Draco did not intervene, but he did send Harry a sympathetic look. He even stopped being entertaining. 

 

Harry was not surprised when Draco caught at his sleeve as he was packing his school bag at the end of class. 

"Hang back. We need to talk." 

Harry tensed, but nodded. Either they talked, or he gave up on improved relations with Draco right now. He was aware of Severus glaring as Draco, with deliberate slowness, put away the last of his books. 

"Are you intending to stay for the first-year's class, Potter?" Severus sneered. "Of course, the review might help you."

Draco's grey eyes flashed up. "I asked him to wait, sir." He shouldered his bag. "Come along, Harry." 

Harry tried not to bristle at Draco's casual authority; he couldn't reasonably stay behind. He avoided looking back at his father as he left the room at Draco's side. 

Draco waited until they were a long corridor away from the Potions classroom before starting to talk, and he kept his voice quiet. "I must say -- you were the last person I ever expected to find in Snape's private rooms. Only a few of his own students ever see them."

Harry shrugged. He had spent much of the previous night trying to plan how to respond when Draco brought this up. At some point in this conversation, he would need to improvise, but he had his answer for this one ready. 

"He's one of my project advisors, and I saw a lot of him when I was staying here this summer. We get along all right in private."

"You shouldn't trust him."

Harry had expected a challenge about Severus's public hostility towards him, not this sort of warning. He tried to look unconcerned. "Oh, _trust_ is a bit much. I like him, but I don't trust him."

Draco stopped in the middle of a long corridor. Pale eyes studied Harry thoughtfully. "He seems to think you do."

Harry shrugged. "I nod and smile a lot. Honestly, I don't know why people assume I'm gullible. I'd be dead a dozen times over if I was, wouldn't I?"

"People assume you're gullible because you're in Gryffindor." 

"No, no, that's Hufflepuff." Harry decided to derail the conversation. "Besides, I'm only in Gryffindor because I wouldn't let the Hat put me in Slytherin."

"What?" Draco, who had finally taken a step forward, turned back and stared.

Harry smirked. _That should distract him for a bit._ He found he didn't want to admit he had been afraid. "Well honestly," he said airily, "it looks so suspicious, being a Slytherin. As a Gryffindor, my motives are assumed to be of the best." He took pity on Draco's look of utter shock. "And they usually are, really," he added, with a wink. 

Draco took his wand out, fiddled with it for a moment, then put it back again. "Harry ... may I ask you a question that might be considered offensive?"

"I don't see that it would make any difference." At Draco's serious look, Harry shrugged. "Go ahead." 

Draco nodded. He glanced up and down the empty corridor, then looked solidly at Harry. 

"Are you letting Snape bugger you for favors, or something?"

"What?!" Harry yelped.

Draco smirked. "I'll take that as a 'no.'" He sighed. "And there goes my simplest theory." He kicked gently at the stone wall, then frowned and charmed the scuff mark off the toe of his shoe. 

"Why would you think that?"

Draco sent him an incredulous look. "Well, it would seem you have the password to his private rooms _. I_ don't even have that, and I'm his house favorite. And there was the time you were both locked in his lab for more than an hour. Reputedly, you are not good at Potions, so I don't think he'd have you helping him, but he'd have no reason to ward a lesson. Also, reputedly, you are not good at Potions, but he admitted you to his sixth-year class. He doesn't appear to like you, whatever you say, so there must be some sort of deal involved." 

Harry snorted. "Perhaps there is. Or perhaps I'm better at Potions than we let on. I promise you though, it's not sex." He hesitated. "Thank you for asking, though." 

"Pardon?" Draco cocked his head in confused amusement.

"Someone else thought that, too, and _didn't_ ask. That caused trouble." 

Draco snorted. "Granger?"

"No. Another professor. Over the summer." 

Draco's eyes widened. "Trouble."

"Yeah. But it's sorted, now." 

"Hunh." Draco raised one pale eyebrow. Quite conversationally, he said: 

"So he's teaching you Dark Arts, then?"

Harry froze. The sudden change of tack, as Draco had no doubt intended, had taken him by surprise. Remembering Severus's words at yesterday's meeting, he carefully schooled his face into the faintly querulous expression that Severus had said he used only when lying. 

"No," he said. 

Draco studied him for a moment. "Come on then," he said blandly. "We'll be late for Defense Against Snape's Library." 

 

When Harry and Draco arrived at the classroom, the door was closed. They looked at each other briefly before Harry eased it open. Professor Lupin stopped his lecture and watched with displeasure as they entered. 

"You are ten minutes late. Have you anything to say for yourselves?"

Harry reddened and shook his head. Draco looked haughty. 

"Ten points each from Gryffindor and Slytherin, then." Lupin said coldly. "An important ten minutes. You will both stay after class for a summary."

Harry swallowed. "I ... I can't, sir."

"Why not?"

Harry's mouth felt dry. Surely Remus must know. Hadn't he thought what he was asking? "I can't," he repeated. 

Lupin's angry look became grimmer. "I see. I am not responsible for your ignorance, then. Perhaps Miss Granger will show you enough of what you missed." 

Harry nodded miserably and walked quickly to the nearest seat. They had just finished a subject, so today's lecture was probably the basis for the next week or two weeks. He hoped he could pick it up quickly. 

The spell under discussion seemed to be _Terminio_ , a spell to restrict the duration of a companion charm or hex. Harry knew he'd need to get the theory from Hermione later, but he was relieved to find the practical use came easily. They divided into pairs, and practiced it in combination with a harmless marker spell -- one that caused the target to glow slightly -- casting it to last for a set number of seconds. 

_Not really harmless,_ Harry thought to himself as he waited for his partner's luminescence to fade. _I wouldn't want it cast on me in a night battle._

 

After class, Harry waited for Ron and Hermione. Remus, answering questions for Justin, never glanced in his direction. His friends, when they were ready, accepted his presence, but they did not ask any questions as he walked down the stairs with them. 

Ron continued to be quiet during lunch, but he did sit on the other side of Hermione. A moment after Hermione ran off to the library, Ron stood and said, "I'd like an early start, I think. Harry?"

Harry, startled, scrambled to his feet. "Er ... of course. I'm done here." 

He felt rather awkward as he followed Ron from the Great Hall. 

 

Ron led the way outside. It was a cool day, but sunny and still. Harry felt warm enough with his robes closed. Ron, who despite Harry's growth spurt had remained much taller, walked with long, swift strides that had Harry straining not to break into a trot. He stopped abruptly at the water's edge. 

"They let you stay at the meeting, yesterday." 

He sounded bitter. Harry made his voice as mild as possible. "For most of it. I think Professor Dumbledore has decided to let me know what they're planning for me, now. Mostly, anyway."

"That's good, I suppose." Ron frowned. "I wish they'd let me stay." 

Harry shrugged. "It's not your custody hearing." He looked around. "We shouldn't talk about this here. Tonight, my lounge?"

Ron shook his head. He pulled out his wand, and gestured in a circle around them. " _Include._ " A blue circle flared from the grass around them, and rose to a pale blue dome above. Harry looked the transparent barrier. 

"What's that do?"

"Keeps pretty much anything -- including sound -- from getting in or out. Can't keep it up too long, or you run out of air." Ron took an audible breath. "By tonight I'll have lost my nerve." He looked deeply unhappy. "About ... Professor Snape."

"Yeah?"

"It was strange watching you ... watching you talk to him like that. You ... like you _know_ each other."

Harry nodded shakily. "He knows me very well, now. I lived in his rooms--"

"You what?" Ron yelled in shock.

Harry shifted nervously. "When the Dursleys died, and I was here -- Dumbledore made him take me in." 

"That must have been a horror."

"Well, no, that's the thing. It wasn't. The first week was rather rough, but ... we had things to talk about. He let me help him in the lab. We had meals together, sometimes. My mum's letter to him asked him to take care of me, and he did." Harry smiled a little. "Not something he knows how to do, really, but he tried, even when he said he wouldn't." Ron didn't look angry, just unsettled, so Harry continued. "By the beginning of term, I didn't _want_ to move back to Gryffindor, and I especially didn't want to have to pretend we still hated each other. Sometimes I wish I could just go down to the dungeons to hide in my own room, where I don't need to pretend anything." 

"You have a room there?"

Harry smiled wistfully. "Yeah. Dumbledore added a magic window that shows the view from Gryffindor tower, somewhere, so it doesn't seem like being underground. It has a window seat that's perfect for reading in, or just sitting and thinking. If I leave the door open, I can see when Severus comes into the kitchen." He stopped and bit his lip. Ron was staring at him with wide blue eyes. 

"It's not that I don't like Gryffindor," Harry tried. "I love my house. But I need to be so many things, there. I need to be the hero. I need to be the Quidditch captain. I need to be one of the more spectacular older students, but approachable." He trailed off. "I just wish I could leave it all, now and then."

"But none of us can, mate," Ron argued readily. "We're staying here. Our families are other places. During term, Gryffindor is our home." 

Harry nodded. "That's true. But I've never had a real home, before, not with anyone who cared about me. Less than four weeks isn't enough, really." 

"You think he _cares_ about you, then, do you?" 

Harry fixed Ron with an evaluating stare. "Do you?"

Ron's lip twitched as he caught his first reply. He stood silently for a moment, then swallowed. "Reckon he does," he admitted. His thin-set lips twisted with anger. "To the extent he knows how." The anger took over and he scowled at Harry. "Slimy, murdering, Death Eater ..." he flailed for a minute -- "bastard!"

Harry clenched his jaw. "I'm not going to claim he's kind, Ron," he said coldly. "He's not. And yes, he has killed -- and switched sides. He is deceitful, yes. That's what he does for us, now." 

Ron pushed a hand through his hair. "I just don't _understand._ "

Harry sighed. "I don't either, really. Just believe me, please? He isn't secretly messing me up, or anything."

"You've been acting pretty messed up."

"But that's not him. It's because of how things are, that's all." 

Ron nodded and squared his shoulders. "Look ... I'll try, all right?"

"Thanks."

Ron, scowling, pulled out his wand. "I'm just glad I'm not in Potions, anymore. I'd scream out something, eventually." He flicked his wand at the blue dome. It wavered and reset. He tried again. On the third effort, he managed to dispel it. "Let's go see Hagrid, then." 

 


	64. Keeping up Appearances

 

Detention was horrible. Severus took the cigarettes from Harry, but didn't even bother to lecture him. He walked him to Filch's office and handed him over to the caretaker for his detention, just, Harry thought, so the evening would have no redeeming features. At the end of it, though, Filch, rather than releasing Harry, escorted him back to the Potions master's office.

"How was your detention?" A small smiled played about the edges of Severus's mouth. "Unpleasant, I hope?"

"Very. I had to clean up the mess Peeves made in the third floor boys bathroom." Harry dared a quick smile. "Filch claims he hates Peeves, but I think he'd be lost without him."

"Quite probably." Severus scowled at him. "But I can think up worse. Do this again and I will." 

Harry looked at a spot on the wall. _So much for being social._ "Yes sir."

"Visit me tomorrow."

"What?"

"Visit me. Portkey down. Didn't you want my opinion on your new clothes?"

"Yes." Harry realized he had met his father's eyes in his surprise, and decided to concede gracefully. "I'd like that." 

 

On Tuesday after dinner, Harry stole up to the dormitory to dress. He put on the burgundy trousers and black boots, then tried to decide on a shirt. The crimson was another red, and he thought the green made him look too much like a christmas ornament. He wavered between gold and black before settling on the pale gold. The dark burgundy cape subdued it enough, he decided. He was just crossing the room to get his school bag and the portkey from his bed when the door opened behind him with a faint click. 

"What in bloody hell is that?"

Harry turned quickly. The cape swirled out and settled. The light brush across the back of his legs felt strange and rather nice. Ron was standing in the doorway, staring at him. 

"New clothes?" Harry tried.

"Has Malfoy invited you home? Is Fudge presenting you to select society girls?"

Harry scowled. "They're just clothes, Ron! Se-- A friend wanted to see what I bought." Harry darted quickly to the bed and scooped up his bag. "I may be out late," he said, sliding it under the cape to his shoulder. "Don't worry." 

"Why would I worry? It's just you off being a prat." 

Harry winced. "Could we not fight for a few days, at least?"

Ron made an unsuccessful attempt to look conciliatory before resuming his scowl. "Just go. I don't care, and we're still friends, all right? Now get out." 

Harry shrugged slightly and nodded. He opened the box, and touched the portkey within it. He felt the terrifying pull at his belly and the world swirled and vanished. When he stumbled forward, it was to catch himself on Severus's green sofa. 

"You're right on t-- Oh!" 

Harry, nerves still taut from the port, dropped the bag and spun to face the sound, even as he reassured himself that it was Severus's voice, though with an unusually surprised tone. 

His father looked him up and down; Harry couldn't pin down his expression. 

"Is it wrong?" Harry asked. "Do I look silly?"

"You look," Severus said slowly, still staring at him, "like a rich, well-bred, most likely progressive, but still proper, young wizard." He let out a shaky breath. "It's perfect." He smirked. "Now that's something you can wear when the Minister visits -- he'd be pleased." 

"Ron didn't like it."

"I don't suppose he would."

Harry looked down and scuffed the toe of one polished boot along the stone floor. "He looked at me like I was Lockhart."

Severus snorted. "Hardly. Lockhart's boots would be dyed to match the trousers, and his shirt would match them and have a contrasting trim, or contrast with a matching trim, and his cape would be styled to widen the look of his shoulders, and his shirt cut to taper in at the waist, and some significant portion of the lot would _glitter._ " 

Harry laughed, half with amusement and half with relief. He could picture the sort of thing Severus meant. 

"I suspect the Weasley boy is simply afraid you look too top-drawer for him, and will decide on some more proper companion." 

Harry thought about what Ron had actually said. He had mentioned Draco, and "society girls." Perhaps that was the problem. "He ought to know me better," he complained. 

Severus shook his head slightly. "In that, you don't look like someone he knows." He raised his eyebrows. "Though I would have expected him to approve of the Gryffindor colors." 

Harry frowned. "Would Augustus have dressed like this?"

The expressiveness faded from his father's face. He was focused on something very far away when he answered. "Too modern for Augustus."

"James?" Harry wondered, slightly, about the people they used as markers. People from the past ... Augustus had become real to him, almost as real as James and Lily, who were as real as Lucius, entombed in Azkaban, as Sirius back from the underworld and gone again. Remus alone was flesh. 

 Severus snorted. "Too conservative." He thought for a moment. "James might have worn something like that," he admitted, "but to a formal event that demanded dress robes. James was precisely aware of the appropriate attire for any occasion, and would always dress slightly more casually, to show these rules did not concern him." 

"I'm all right with that," Harry answered. "I'd like to know when I'm off, though. Fred and George couldn't understand that."

"I am hardly surprised." Severus held out his hand. "The portkey?"

Harry snapped the box shut and handed it over.

"I will modify it later. Unlike the headmaster, I cannot reset portkeys with a half-second's thought." Severus drew open a drawer on his desk and pulled out a chain and rectangular locket, both of copper. He held it so that it caught the light "Another item that Dumbledore suddenly 'remembered' having around -- this one belonged to James." Severus's mouth still curled with contempt around the name, but no longer lingered there, and the spite that would have danced sparks in his black eyes a term earlier never appeared at all. "The headmaster has several rooms throughout the school that can be opened only from the inside. The inside of the cover of this locket will take you to the one nearest Gryffindor. It will work from anywhere, rather than just here, as we discussed." 

"What are the rooms for?" Harry asked. _For people to hide in?_

Severus growled with exasperation. "Tell me."

Harry took a deep breath. "For people to hide in?"

"Exactly." He smirked. "Within the range of your deductive abilities after all, wasn't it?"

To hide his unease, Harry settled down on the sofa. The cape pulled at his neck, and he needed to stand up and arrange it more carefully when he sat back down. He glanced away, along the back of the sofa, and noticed the bookcases behind it. Immediately, he stood up again, and walked around. The books were no longer tight against each other. Here and there were actual gaps, or places where some small item had been added, or some books lain on their sides, as an impromptu bookend.

"Father?" he asked carefully. When there was no response, he turned. Severus had sat in his usual chair, and was placing a glass of amber liquid on the table beside him. He sent Harry a challenging look. 

"What?"

"What happened to your books?"

"I realized that I had many things I never intend to read again, and which I do not want you to read at all." His face tightened. "I got rid of them." 

"Got rid of! What if we need them? The one I was looking at? The --"

"I have explained to you why we _cannot_ need that. I do not think I was in any way ambiguous." 

Harry stared at him in horror. _There must be a hundred books missing, and I know he had things not in the library._ "You didn't destroy them." _He just put them somewhere else. He must have._

His father looked down, then. "No. Destroying something like that only means you no longer have access to it, and thus no clues on how to counter it. The idea still exists somewhere." He shifted in his seat. "I gave them to Dumbledore; I realized he was the only person I trusted with them." 

Severus gestured to the sofa, and Harry stumbled mindlessly back. He stood beside it, one hand leaning on the near arm. "I can't believe you did that."

Severus scowled. "I can't believe you were seriously contemplating the study of a practical guide to entrapping, misdirecting, and destroying souls!"

Harry ducked his head. "I hadn't-- I would have asked--"

"If there is something it horrifies me to see you even notice...." Severus looked oddly lost. He rubbed at his forehead as if it hurt. "Why do I have it?" He waved irritably at the bookshelves. "It hadn't mattered before. It was all ... private." 

"But--"

"Harry." His father's voice was quite calm, now. "It's all right. I should have done it years ago. I have room for other things, now. Now sit." 

Harry sat. He still felt uncomfortable, as if he had accidentally broken something. 

"We must have something more interesting to talk about. What has happened with young Malfoy?" 

Harry reddened and stammered out an approximation of his conversation with Draco. He volunteered that things were better with Ron -- or at least had been, until Ron had seen him dressed up. The talk moved on to the D.A., which was to finally reconvene the next day. 

The pauses between subjects became longer, and the moments of silence comfortable, rather than merely lost. Now that he was over his shock, Harry began to find the spaces on the bookshelves inviting, rather than frightening. Perhaps he could get his father something to put in one of them. 

"May I ask you something?" Harry advanced, when one of the pauses seemed long enough to accept a new subject. Severus raised his eyebrows questioningly, and he continued. "How strict is the rule about only one animal? I know my first year letter said only one, but if I wanted to get a pet, could I?"

"Pet?" Severus sounded rather scandalized. "We do not keep pets at school."

"Well, I have an owl." 

"That's not a _pet_ , Harry, that's a familiar!" 

Harry blinked. "I thought a familiar was something that helped you cast spells, and so on." 

"And next year you will be learning a little of that. For now, that she is your familiar means that she is unusually responsive to your needs and wishes."

"Oh."

"If you get another animal, and it is truly a _pet_ , that will not cause problems. However, if you get another animal and bond with it on a magical level, that may disrupt your relationship with ... Hedwig?"

"Yes." Harry frowned. "So, how do I keep from magically bonding with another animal?" 

"Well, there are only some creatures that are suitable. What is it?"

Answering directly would be an admission of keeping an animal, Harry suspected. He sighed. "Well, Hermione was looking at ferrets, in Hogsmeade. We were just wondering --"

" _Ferrets?_ "

"Domesticated member of the weasel family?" Harry tried to keep his reply sarcastic.

"Used to hunt rabbits -- yes, I know." Severus sighed. "And why would Granger want a ferret?"

"Because it can get into places."

"What?"

"She wants to use spells on it so she can see what it sees, then send it into places she can't get into. She came up with the idea when she was trying to keep track of me." 

"That would be dangerous. Fortunately, most of those spells are too difficult --"

"Dangerous _how?_ " 

Severus drew back at Harry's suddenly harsh tone. Slowly, his surprise faded to a slightly superior amusement. 

"Just how theoretical is this problem?"

"She's done it, on Sunday night. Seeing and hearing -- she hasn't tried controlling where it goes yet. It's more my _pet,_ though; I've been taking care of it and playing with it, though I don't do any magic with it." 

Severus sighed. "You do manage to find trouble, don't you?"

"It's my second-greatest talent."

"After Quidditch?"

"After not dying." 

Severus mouth twitched, but he continued to stare. "Astounding." He shook his head. "I wish I could walk you up to the library -- I don't know any appropriate titles, but I could find them. You are probably not in danger of magical bonding, at least not soon. It could happen to her quite quickly. She needs to protect herself before any further contact. She should also take care with her anchor spell."

"Oh, she managed to get back on her own, the second time."

Severus froze.

"I only had to shake her a bit the first one, though it's probably lucky I found her."

"You ignorant, Muggle-raised _idiots!_ Have you the faintest idea what you are playing with?"

Harry kept himself from shrinking away from the shouting. "I guess not. Unless you're overreacting." 

"You're lucky your little girlfriend wasn't soul-lost. Does she actually remember anything?"

"Oh yes. She said everything was very high up. And she answered questions for me, while she was doing it." 

Severus hissed out a long breath. Through clenched teeth, he demanded, "Everything. From the beginning."  
  


Harry materialized in a cold, bare room with stone walls and a rough wood floor. It had a shuttered window and a plain door with a simple lift latch. With his hand on the latch, Harry paused. He looked down at his clothes, then glanced automatically at his bag. He didn't bother to look through it. He knew he had not brought his invisibility cloak. He was outside Gryffindor, and he was going to have to walk back in as he was. 

For a minute, he considered staying in this bare room until his housemates were all in bed. The problem was, he thought, that a lot of the Gryffindors stayed up late as a matter of course. It was difficult to predict when the common room might be empty, and coming in dressed like this at two in the morning was even more likely to invite comment (and speculative gossip) than doing it now. 

"Why don't I ever think of these things beforehand?" he muttered. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, lifted the latch, and strode out into an empty corridor. 

Harry glanced back to see what the door looked like from the outside. Quite simply, it was not visible at all. The wall appeared to be bare stone. He looked up and down the corridor, trying to get his bearings, and recognized the crossed battleaxes hanging above a particular arched alcove. He was on the highest floor of the castle that abutted Gryffindor's tower -- just around the corner, he would find the stairs. Determined to look confident, Harry marched off to the portrait of the Fat Lady. 

When he climbed in the portrait hole, conversations began to falter. By the time he was halfway across the room, moving with a relaxed but purposeful stride that he was working very hard to believe in, they been replaced by clusters of high-pitched giggles and quick whispers. 

"Harry," Hermione chided, "you are out of uniform."

Harry paused. Over his shoulder, he called, "sorry. Portkey accident." He continued up the stairs. The delay had lessened his embarrassment, as it had given him time to recognize the sort of giggle that had been coming from the girls. He would be willing to bet most of them didn't think he looked silly, at all.

 

Ron barged into the dormitory a minute behind him. " _Portkey accident?_ "

"Wait." Harry pulled out his wand. He cast a sound barrier and warded the doors and windows against casual entry.

"Well?"

"I expected to be able to Floo back, late. But Dumbledore decided it would be safer for me to have a portkey to a room just outside Gryffindor, and Father wanted me back at a decent hour --"

" _Father wanted,_ " Ron mimicked sourly. "You sound like Malfoy." 

"Well, I --" Harry stopped. "I call him Severus, sometimes, but 'Dad' is just too -- light, or something. And too ... James." He swallowed. "That would still mean James."

The anger fled Ron's face as quickly as it had come. He sat down on his bed. "It must be complicated."

"Yes." Harry sat down too. "Yes, it's complicated." 

"You look like such a toff! You wore that to meet -- him?"

"Well, to show him. Because of what Fred and George said, I'd tried to describe what I bought, and wanted to know if it sounded right. He wanted to see it, and he's suggested it for when Fudge comes."

"You shouldn't dress up for Fudge!"

"I think I should." Harry had been evaluating this idea. "I should impress on him how well I'm socializing here, so he doesn't pull me out and put me someplace else." 

"He wouldn't dare!"

"Oh, he would! He's afraid of Professor Dumbledore, remember, and he wants to use me, I'm certain. If I'm away from everyone who might support me, he has more control."

"But wouldn't --"

"He sent me a letter. Said he was coming to 'evaluate my educational situation.' That sounds like he plans to find fault, to me."

"Arsehole!" Ron glowered, but the insult was clearly directed towards the absent Cornelius Fudge. Ron snapped a hand towards Harry. "Change. I can't talk to someone who looks like that." 

Harry decided to go straight into pajamas. He had taken off his boots and cape when inspiration struck. 

"Come here a moment, Ron."

"What?" 

Ron stood and took an uncertain step towards him. With a deft flick, Harry settled the cape on his friend's shoulders. Ron froze. 

"Hm. Clashes with your hair, I think. Blue would suit you better." 

Ron yanked the cape off and threw it angrily onto Harry's bed. "Don't you dare! I don't need your damn presents."

Harry refused to back down. "I'm the sole heir of two very rich families, Ron -- Potter _and_ Black. What do you want me to do with all this money? Buy art? Buy jewelry? Buy a few Wizengamot members?" Ron snorted with barely repressed laughter. Harry grinned. "Besides, I may lose it all, when people find out. I should spend a decent amount of it, first." 

Ron's jaw dropped. "They can't!" 

"Well, possibly some distant cousin could challenge, at least for the Potter fortune. No one's found a will." Harry shrugged. "It seems I'll get the Black one, eventually, because Sirius _did_ leave a will -- and a formal declaration of innocence. Both 'mysteriously' showed up at the Ministry, on Shacklebolt's desk." He shot Ron a conspiratorial grin. "So -- help me spend a bit of my current fortune, next Hogsmeade weekend?"

Ron's mouth contorted as it tried to decide on an expression. 

"Come on," Harry urged. "It'll be brilliant, really."

Ron settled on a dazed smile. "All right, then. A bit." 

 


	65. Bargains

 

"Tea, Severus?"

Severus Snape ignored the offer. He knew from experience that his answer was irrelevant. "Hermione Granger," he said, instead, "is too clever for her own good." 

"Indeed?" Dumbledore asked placidly.

"But perhaps enough so for ours."

The unaccepted cup of tea was poured and placed before him. The headmaster, who knew that Severus varied his manner of altering it until the variation was, in itself, a habit, had left it plain. The table between them, its white linen colored by the sunlight streaming through the stained glass window beside it, held milk, sugar and lemon wedges. Severus ignored them all and put the tea aside to cool a little. 

"Tell me, Severus -- what is this promising cleverness?"

"She has obtained for herself a ferret, and is learning to see and hear through its senses."

Dumbledore looked concerned. "Doesn't she realize the possible impact on--"

"No," Severus said harshly. "She is a Muggle-born witch consorting with a Muggle-raised wizard, and a typically careless Weasley boy--"

"Now, now, Severus." Dumbledore reproved mildly. "I happen to know you are rather fond of at least one of the three."

"Which makes him no less an ignorant fool!" Severus caught himself. "Though more reasonable than _her,_ for that. She made the first attempt in solitude." 

An anxiety tightened Dumbledore's pleasant features. Severus waved the matter off as if it were a fly. "She was unharmed; Harry found her. The matter of import is that she managed it on her first try, and she brought herself out of the second attempt, with the aid of an external prompt." 

Dumbledore sighed. "I will speak to her."

"I've already told Harry what precautions she -- and he -- should take. It is her _success_ that interests me. If she can duplicate this with native fauna, at a distance, we may have our spy device."

Dumbledore's worry faded into thought. Severus could almost see muttering chess pieces rearranging their ranks behind the clear blue eyes. Those eyes focused past him, perhaps on a brilliant phoenix in full plumage, perhaps on something further from their sun-drenched table. 

"I will speak to her," the old man repeated. 

 

**********

 

Harry set his hand on the brass knob and pulled the door open. To his relief, the Room of Requirement looked much as it had last year. There were a few changes: the rows of bookcases on either side of the door were gone and that whole wall padded with thick mats, and the table of instruments seemed more crowded. 

Hermione's face lit up. "I'm so glad to be back!"

Ron nodded happily. Harry's stomach twisted itself into knots.

"What's wrong, Harry?" 

"You ill?"

Harry shook his head. "It's just ... I'm not sure about this. Justin and Ernie kept _looking_ at me in Defense Against the Dark Arts this morning. Not.... They just didn't seem friendly."

"They always look at you like that, mate." Ron's voice sounded as if he intended this to be reassuring. "You're just too busy sniggering over Malfoy's nasty little comments to notice."

"Malfoy wasn't--" Harry stopped. Draco had been quiet and remote, that morning, seemingly sitting with him out of habit, rather than intent, so he clearly hadn't been amused by anything Draco had said that day. And he may have, while bored, paid more attention to the other members of the class than usual. Still, he was sure Justin didn't usually look at him like that. He had sat with Justin, recently, and everything had been fine. "For your information," he said, feeling a reassuring flush of anger, "Draco can be quite funny, and not all his humor involves putting someone down."

If Ron had replied, they might have fought, but it was Hermione, her voice quiet, who voiced their doubt. 

"But you always look embarrassed." She looked away. "As if you shouldn't be laughing."

Harry shrugged and started to move slowly around the room, inspecting it. "I shouldn't be. We're in lessons." 

"Harry," Hermione warned. 

Harry stopped in his tracks, distracted. The equipment table did include several new items ... including a Kerner Dark Detector. 

"All right, some of it's insulting." He turned quickly away from the table and pretended to survey the walls of books. "More of it is just a bit dodgy. About _Terminio_ , he was telling me that he'd transfigured a towel into robes for Pansy, once, when one of the other girls had taken her clothes while she was in the shower. 'Snape had called a meeting.'" Harry's imitation of Draco's cultured accent had become far more accurate than it had been before this term. He was pleased to see the others smile despite themselves. "'Imagine if I'd brought the spell to an end with all of Slytherin still in the common room.'"

Ron snorted. Hermione choked and tried to make it sound disapproving. 

"Followed by increasingly ridiculous speculations as to Pansy's probable revenge...."

Hermione did laugh, then. 

"So, he's not _just_ being horrible." Harry's smile faded. "They don't really look at me like that often, do they? I've sat with Justin."

Ron shifted uncomfortably. "They look at you when you've got your head together with his. Ernie sort of glares, and Justin.... I don't know what it was this morning -- I didn't notice." 

"Well, I hope some of the other Gryffindors arrive first."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "We are _not_ the most prompt house in the school, Harry."

Harry had never thought about the relative promptness of houses, before. He was just considering what each house would show up to early, and wondering if it would make a good set of jokes, when the door opened. To his dismay, it admitted the Hufflepuff contingent: Justin Finch-Fletchley and Ernie Macmillan, who had looked so oddly at him that morning; Susan Bones, who had triggered the revival of the group; Hannah Abbot; and Zacharias Smith. At the sight of the pugnacious blond boy, Harry's strained smile became even more forced. After an unfair moment of speculating that the trait went with the hair, he forced himself to look at Hannah. The inarguably blond girl hadn't a hostile bone in her body, he was certain. 

"Welcome back to the D.A.," he said. 

Zacharias settled his arms across his chest. "We need to talk about new members. And officers." 

"It's on the list," Harry said. He couldn't help but notice, however, that Hannah was unusually pink, Ernie was tense, and Justin was looking away -- at the bookshelves, the walls, anywhere but at him. 

To his relief, Ginny, Dean, and Seamus came in next, then Padma and Parvati. The Ravenclaw boys -- Anthony Goldstein, Michael Corner, and Terry Boot -- arrived together. 

Michael Corner drew Harry off to a wall almost as soon as they had arrived.

"Look," he said, "Cho didn't ... she wanted to know if she was welcome." 

Harry shrugged. "Of course. Marietta wasn't her fault."

"No, I mean...." Michael windmilled his hands helplessly. Harry got what he meant. 

"No," he said. "I don't really care, actually." He realized that could come across as insulting and added, "Last spring-- the whole thing just burnt it out of me. Someone very important to me died in the fight at the Ministry, and her choosing you -- it just didn't matter in comparison. It was never going to work between us anyway -- not after Cedric. So, yeah, having her here is fine by me, and we'll just need to get through any awkwardness without disrupting meetings, right?"

"Are you still ... interested?"

"No." 

Michael nodded. "I don't know if she'll come or not, then." 

"Oh -- she's not still with you?"

"No ... it sort of petered out over the summer."

"Oh." Harry shrugged. "Still not interested." 

Michael looked suddenly much more friendly. "Okay. She'll be disappointed, but ... I think it's probably for the best." He grinned at Harry, and went back to his friends. 

While they had been talking, the Creevey brothers had arrived. Harry was just counting heads when Luna Lovegood wandered in, her nose in a book titled, in shaky, chartreuse letters, Secret Monsters of the Adriatic! Neville was a step behind her. 

"I guess that's everybody," Harry said, raising his voice to be heard over the low chatter. People gradually began to look at him. Then Zacharias stepped forward. 

"We need to discuss who's in charge," he stated boldly.

Harry instinctively glanced around. Justin was staring at the floor. Susan looked angry. Harry nodded. "I suppose. If some of you feel it shouldn't be me, I don't blame you." 

Ernie looked relieved. "I don't doubt you have your reasons, Potter, but we can't help finding this association with Malfoy --"

"Malfoy! This is about Malfoy?" Harry spat back in disgust. Justin finally looked up, surprise evident in the slight widening of his eyes.

"Well, we certainly have no quarrel with your excellent instruction--"

"Damn it! If you didn't want me because I damn near got some of you killed last summer, _that_ I could understand! But socializing with Draco -- that's rather petty, don't you think?"

"Socializing with a Death Eater's son," Zacharias said loudly. 

"Who's finally growing up enough to get a bit of independence from his parents--"

Hermione stepped forward. "How is this relevant, Smith?"

"Relevant!" 

"Yes, relevant. Is it that you believe Harry is not sufficiently discreet? Is it that you doubt his allegiances? Is it that you fear Malfoy might deceive him in some way that causes us harm?"

"All of it."

"Discretion is not relevant," Harry said coolly. 

"Oh it's not, is it?"

"No. We are an approved student organization, this year. I've cleared it with Dumbledore. Lupin knows what we are doing and why he is not supervising, and he agrees. The headmaster believes the prefects in this group are sufficient to oversee safety." Harry swept his gaze around the room, trying to quickly include everyone. "In fact, I think that we need to distribute responsibility a little more, this year. I'd like to continue as an instructor, but I don't want to be making all the decisions on what to teach. And there are some things I think everyone should vote on, like how we're going to recruit new members, and if a certain level of attendance is compulsory, and --" he took a deep breath -- "under what circumstances we should assist each other outside of meetings." 

"You're just taking over control again!" Zacharias said angrily. 

Michael shifted his quiet bulk significantly. "Pipe down, Smith. You've made your point." He looked at Harry. "A committee of three, you think?"

"Or four. Though during exercises, the immediate authority is the instructor for that exercise." 

"That being, of course, you?" Ernie said pointedly.

"That being the only _safe_ way to do it," Hermione burst out. She glanced, in quick succession, at Ron, Anthony Goldstein, and Padma Patil. All nodded. She looked at Hannah Abbot, who turned even pinker and squeaked out a "yes." 

"That's five of the six prefects," she said smugly. Harry winced. Ernie swelled up in a manner Harry found rather reminiscent of a bullfrog, or perhaps Cornelius Fudge. 

"Stop it!" Ginny snapped. "Before we waste all evening on this, let's have a quick show of hands -- so we at least know what we're arguing about? First, who doesn't trust Harry as an instructor?" 

Smith and Macmillan raised their hands. Harry sighed. 

"Okay. Who doesn't trust Harry as the only leader?" 

Boot added his hand at that, as did Ginny herself. She answered Harry's annoyed look with a completely unapologetic grin, and Finch-Fletchley and Padma Patil slowly added their hands. 

"Good -- now we're getting somewhere." Ginny took down her hand. "Who doesn't trust Harry as one of a group of three officers?" 

There was considerable thought at this, and quick glances within the group. Smith's hand was the only one up quickly, though Boot joined him a few seconds later. Justin Finch-Fletchley rose up on his toes then sank down again. "Depends who the other two are," he said. There was a general murmur of agreement, and Boot's hand sank slowly down to shoulder level. 

Harry glanced around. "I think it should be one per house."

Justin shot him a surprised look, then broke into a smile. "Seconded." 

The Ravenclaws looked among each other. "Each house elects its own representative," Goldstein advanced.

"All right then," said Ginny. "Split up by house and choose a house leader. Then we'll come back and tackle the rest of it."

The Gryffindors walked over to the back wall. "Harry, of course," Ron said.

Harry shook his head. "No. I'll teach -- I like that -- but I think it should be someone else." He looked at the youngest Weasley. "Ginny." 

"You're a very powerful symbol, Harry--"

"And I could have got you killed, last year." Harry swallowed. "Besides, they're already having trouble with me ... and it will get worse, you know." 

"Why should it get worse?" Seamus asked. 

Harry shook his head. "It just will." 

Ginny flashed him a knowing look. Ron looked flustered. 

"How about Hermione?" he said.

"Hermione already has prefect responsibilities," Harry pointed out. _She's tactless, too, but I better not say that._ "And she's associated with me. I think the two of you should stay out of it, for both reasons -- it will make people feel better." _And not electing a prefect will give us more people with authority._ "But any prefect should have the right -- and responsibility -- to call a halt if they feel the situation is unsafe."

Hermione sniffed. "And won't that be a mess, if we all do!" 

"Well, work a rota out among yourselves, then. I don't care. Who's in favor of Ginny?"

 

With the group leaders set at Ginny, Ernie, and Michael (the Ravenclaws, Harry was amused to notice, had also seen the advantages of a non-prefect as their representative), discussion of new members began. To Harry's relief, a restriction that members only bring prospective members of the same house was quickly rejected. He knew bringing up the matter of Slytherins would only have caused another row. 

Ginny suggested they move on to some actual practice, and with that, the time sped by. Harry was never more comfortable or confident than when he was dueling. By the time Hermione called the session to an end, the initial unpleasantness seemed safely passed, and the group well on its way back to being a cohesive unit. Harry was happily helping Hannah explain _Terminio_ to Susan when Anthony stopped short in the doorway in front of them. 

"Malfoy!" Michael Corner exclaimed. Harry lurched forward and pressed between Michael and Anthony. He saw Terry Boot's wand raised, and shoved the Ravenclaw's extended arm down towards the floor. 

Draco was directly across from the door, leaning back against the rather gory tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy and his reluctant, inhuman ballet students. A club swung behind him from one side, with only Barnabas's knee, raised in passé, showing on the other. 

"Ah, there you are, Harry." His lazy drawl gave no sign that he noticed the hostile looks on the faces of the students spilling into the hallway, or indeed, that he noticed the students themselves. Harry might as well have been standing there alone.

"What are you _doing_ here?" Harry stepped in front of the other members of the D.A., as if he could shield Draco from all of them. Draco didn't even have the grace to look grateful. 

"I have decided we need to talk." Draco pushed himself free of the wall. His grey eyes bored into Harry. "Privately." 

Harry tried to ignore the movements and whispers behind him. He nodded. "I'd noticed--" A roar of protest from Zacharias brought him up short. 

"You see!" Zacharias screamed, "He's in with that Slytherin sneak!"

Harry whirled on the Hufflepuff and glared. "What business is it of yours who I talk to?"

"He shouldn't be here! It's endangering--"

"NOTHING! It's endangering _nothing._ "

"Just because the headmaster approves doesn't mean security is--" Ernie's attempt to make a point was drowned out by Zacharias. The blond Hufflepuff was advancing on Harry, one finger extended as if it could hex him. 

"You're a traitor, Potter! It's only your damn name that keeps people--" 

"Smith!" Ron bellowed. 

Ernie stumbled backwards as his mouth snapped shut. Zacharias pivoted round to direct his anger at Ron. The Hufflepuff's sneer served only to heighten Ron's ire. He stalked forward, his face was crimson with rage, until his nose was scant inches from Smith's. "Do you know how much I _hate_ Malfoy?"

Zacharias looked momentarily taken aback. "Pretty legendary, yeah."

"And you understand how important Harry is to me?"

"Sickeningly."

Ron's fists tightened, but he pressed on. " _I_ am not making a fuss. If I'm not --" he leaned forward, making Zacharias involuntarily shrink back -- "you have _no_ bloody right to; is that clear?"

Harry restrained a smile. "Come on," he said quietly to Draco. "In here." 

Michael was arguing that Ron had a point, and Justin was restraining Zacharias from punching Ron, and Hermione was insisting they stop this immediately, and Ernie was holding forth on the necessity for security, when, in a sudden moment of realization, the entire group noticed Harry and Draco passing through the still-open door of the Room of Requirement. 

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed in reproach. "You can't take him in there!" Everyone else seemed shocked into silence, but Harry didn't think that would last long. 

"Don't see why not; you're all done with it." Quickly, Harry closed the door and turned the key in the lock. The following thumps from outside were surprisingly muffled. He decided to ignore them. 

Draco sighed. "I never will see the appeal of your friends, Potter."

"I don't know. I thought Ron was impressive, anyway." Harry stepped back a pace. "So. Do we actually need to talk, or did you just want to cause a scene?"

Draco sighed. "We need to talk, and if I'd known you were with that many people, I would have waited."

"How on earth did you find me, if you didn't know?" 

"Hm.... Do you recall how you lent me your quill, in Defense, last week?"

Harry wondered why he would remember such a thing. "Not really, but--"

"I kept it, and gave you a similar one in its place. I thought it might be handy to have something of yours for a tracing spell."

Harry blinked. He couldn't decide if this upset him or not; he couldn't get beyond how weird it was. "You..." he flailed. "You bloody _Slytherin_."

Draco's laugh was unusually soft and low. "You better get used to it. Anyway, I've been thinking about last weekend, and our talk on Monday...."

Harry forced a grin and a shrug. "Thought I'd got off too lightly." 

"Only a short reprieve. I have some questions."

"Ask away, then."

"Some very private questions." Draco looked warningly at Harry. "I suggest you put up wards." He slid his wand from his pocket. "Or I will."

With a curt nod, Harry turned and warded the door, then, for completeness, the windows. He chose a complete block, but one that was easy to break, in case Draco threatened him. He wondered what Draco knew or suspected. _What do I do if he's right?_ Draco watched him. Harry thought he frowned slightly at Harry's choice of incantation. As soon as Harry pocketed his wand, Draco took a visible breath and stepped towards him. 

"I have had enough of this. I want to know who you are, and what has happened to Harry Potter."

"Draco!"

"Don't get me wrong." Draco's wand was still out, and he pointed it briefly at Harry's face, then at the ceiling, then at Harry, again. He did not seem aware of it; he was using it to emphasize his point, as Uncle Vernon used his index finger. "I like you. I consider you a friend. But you are clearly not Potter." 

"I am too!" Harry wondered if he should cast a disarming spell, or if that would just initiate combat. He was fairly sure he could handle any immediate attack; he was much more afraid of what Draco might do to him later, if they left the room on bad terms. 

Draco smirked. "Let's look at this logically." The blond leaned back against the padded wall beside the door. To Harry's relief, he also stopped waving the wand around, though he continued to fidget with it. "First, you look quite different."

"I've grown a bit." Harry tried desperately to think. He needed Draco to not betray him -- or his father. Despite the latter's performance on Sunday, it was clear Draco didn't think they were on the same side, so even if Draco preferred both of them to Voldemort -- and Harry was not at all certain of that -- he would still be weighing them against each other. 

"That's what I thought at first. Then I saw you in Quidditch robes, and for a moment, I wondered who the new player was. I finally dug out some old news clippings -- yes, I keep clippings of all the nastiest stories about you -- pathetic, isn't it? But it's more than maturing -- you're different." Draco held up a hand to block Harry's protest. "Hear me out.

"Second, you're behaving differently. _That_ might just be maturity, but I'm not convinced. You're friendly to me, you're slyer, you're more confident occasionally, and you seem more than a little interested in Dark Arts. I couldn't imagine Potter _touching_ that book you were holding in Snape's rooms, this weekend."

That was it, Harry realized. He needed to make it clear he was more knowledgeable than Severus had implied. That, at least would simplify --

"Third, everything I said about finding you with Professor Snape still holds." Draco had been turning his wand, end over end, in his hands, as he spoke, and Harry his mind on the conceptual battle, had forgotten it. Suddenly he flipped it towards Harry and snapped, " _Detegerio_ _!_ "

The spell skimmed across Harry's skin like a minor electrical shock. He gasped. He was a bit surprised to find he had drawn his own wand, somehow, and had it pointed at Draco.

"What did you _do?_ " he screamed. 

Draco looked disappointed. "Nothing. For a glamour, it must be well-anchored."

Harry bit back a disarming spell. _I won that round. I have an advantage, now. We're on to words._ "What was it?"

"The Unmask Spell. It removes most magical disguises."

"I am not _disguised._ "

"Oh, yes you are." Draco smiled in fierce triumph. "Fourth, you are worried about transfigurative magic. I _knew_ that meant something, and I finally found it, this evening. I've spent _hours_ in the library, this week." He raised his head. "You are afraid of revealing your true form." Grey eyes darkened as they narrowed to mere slits. "Now, who are you, and what have you done with Potter? No -- skip what you've done; I don't care. I never liked the prat, anyway. What's your game? Who are you working for?"

Harry worked at controlling his breathing, his face. He let his expression go hard. That, he decided, was better than showing panic. Draco waited, apparently expecting to stare him down, and Harry thought frantically. _"What's your game?"_ Draco had asked. _"Who are you working for?" But what,_ he thought, _if others are working for me? Perhaps even Severus Snape?_

Harry made himself straighten to his unaccustomed full height. His new face could display arrogance quite well, and he did his best to use that. "Draco," he said firmly, "I am not going to tell you -"

"I'll find out."

"Listen, will you?" Harry hissed. "I'm not going to tell you what side I'm on, but I will tell you this: _my_ side will _win._ You're my friend now, and -- trust me -- you want to stay that way." 

This obviously had not been a response Draco had expected. His face displayed surprise, briefly, though it quickly turned to amusement. " _Definitely_ not Potter," he murmured. His look sharpened. "And what is it," he asked, "that you expect of your _friends?_ "

"No prying," Harry said promptly. _Not taking the Dark Lord's Mark,_ he added silently. "If I say drop it, drop it. It's taken me a month to get that into Hermione's head; I trust you'll be a quicker study." 

"Is that all? You will not demand my support for your side?" Draco turned his head in a polite imitation of respect that reminded Harry of the elder Malfoy. "Whatever that side may be?" he added delicately. 

" _That_ would require telling you too much." Harry exhaled and smiled slightly to mitigate the ferocity of his answer. "Not at this stage. For now, I want you to stay neutral. Don't do anything of substance for any side. I'll tell you when I want you to know." 

"So what do I get?"

"My protection." 

Draco's lip curled in a sneer. "From what?" 

Harry ignored the contempt in Draco's reply. "Many things -- most importantly, my allies."

"Do I need protection from your allies?"

Harry's mouth wanted to work into a threatening scowl; his body wanted to advance. He forced a faint smile and flicked his eyes from Draco's belligerent stance to the window on the world outside, and hoped he was managing to project an air of cool evaluation. "Neutrals always do." 

Draco scowled. "You can't boss me around, Potter!"

Harry's unaccustomed control finally broke. He advanced angrily on Draco. "I'm not! I've demanded _one_ thing outside of what you want -- let me keep my secrets! The rest is what you're doing anyway -- _stay out_ of it!" 

"And what if I get a better deal?" Draco asked coldly. 

Harry looked down. That was how they were playing it -- how he had chosen to play it. He had no right to feel hurt. He composed himself and met Draco's icy stare again. "Then take it. But I'll _remember._ " 

It was Draco's turn to look down now. It was just a brief flicker, grey ice hidden behind a gold as pale as the winter sun, but Harry appreciated it. 

"What if I want to help you?"

Harry had not expected that plaintive response. He smiled spontaneously now, and honestly. "You can, once I tell you."

The look was teasing now. "And _then_ what will you give me?" 

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Perhaps nothing." He looked steadily at Draco. "But if you ever end up in prison for something I asked you to do, I willget you out."

Draco recoiled. "I am not your servant!" he screamed. 

"No. You're not." Harry tried to let a faint hint of compassion ride the coolness of his voice, as Remus could do so well. He thought he managed. "People don't do that for _servants._ "

Draco glared at him. The Slytherin's eyes were wild and his cheeks pink. It was a full minute before Harry was certain Draco was not about to attack him. Slowly, Draco slumped. 

"This is still too unilateral for my tastes, Potter." His voice was as distant as his words, now. 

"I've told you what I want and what I offer. Make your own demands, if you like." Harry stepped back. "It's not a lot, but it's large. Let's both sleep on it, and then sort it out. We can meet tomorrow...."

"Fine. Here, then. After my team practice."

Harry nodded. "All right."

"It may run late, with our match coming up, this weekend."

Harry shrugged. "I'll bring a book."

Draco gave him an odd look. "One you can read in public?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. Whatever I feel like at the time." 

 


	66. Reciprocity

 

Thursday passed in a haze. Harry noticed Ernie watching him indignantly in Charms, but avoided any direct interaction. He glimpsed an apologetic look from Hannah Abbot during lunch, but he avoided her, too. 

On the way back to Gryffindor, after the end of classes, he was finally caught, but not by someone who wanted to talk about Draco. Professor McGonagall hailed him in the third floor corridor. 

"Mr. Potter? A moment, please." 

The words were polite, but the tone commanding. Harry turned as quickly as if he were in combat, and nearly hit Hermione with his school bag. With only a quick mumble of "sorry," he strode back to McGonagall.

"Yes, Professor?"

"The headmaster would like to see you, Potter. As soon as possible, he said." 

Harry nodded, and trotted off around the corner. 

 

"Ah, there you are, Harry! Come in, come in. Have a seat. Sherbet Lemon?"

"Er ... no, thank you." Harry sat in the comfortable chair, wondering how large he would need to be before he stopped sinking too far back to feel dignified or self-controlled.

"I wanted to inform you -- I received an owl from the Minister for Magic, this afternoon. He intends to visit you on Saturday. He will be arriving shortly after breakfast, and leaving after dinner."

"There's a match!" Harry winced at the sound of his indignant outburst, then decided it was appropriate after all. Quidditch was much more important than some sort of fake visit from Fudge, really.

Dumbledore looked amused. "Perhaps you can convince him to attend it with you. I did mention that you had certainly intended to go."

Harry sighed. "All right. That's between him and me. What do I need to do?"

"I want you to come here first thing in the morning, before anyone sees you, if possible, to receive your mask. Be prepared to eat breakfast carefully, and, whatever happens, stay out of any fights. I suggest that you be politely deferential to the Minister, but your conduct is, at the end, your decision."

"I've started planning that out, sir. I do intend to behave."

"You usually do, I think." 

Harry wondered if that meant that he usually behaved or usually intended to behave. He was afraid the second meaning was more likely. 

"While I have you here, Harry, do you suppose we could discuss Professor Lupin for a minute?"

Harry tensed. "What about him, sir?"

"Is there some trouble between the two of you?"

Harry squashed down the desire to jump out of the chair and start throwing things. He looked steadily at headmaster. "No, sir." 

Dumbledore sighed. "Which means "yes, but I don't want to talk about it." 

Harry slid down in the chair. "It's not really your business."

"If you truly thought so, you should not have mentioned it to your father."

"Oh."

"As I am certain you are well aware."

Harry gave in. "I don't know _what_ to think about Remus! I want to trust him, but he's told me not to. I want to -- Remus is one of the very few adults in my life that have ever seemed to care about me, but what should I think when he says that? He needs it to be inconvenient to betray me? And then there's ... my father, as you say, saying he'll kill Lupin if I'm alone with him, and Lupin, who's told me not to be alone with him suddenly _wants_ me to be, and what am I supposed to think?!" His words ran out. Harry found himself staring angrily at Professor Dumbledore. His throat felt tight, and he still wanted to break something. 

"Harry -- if you would, I need you to clarify a few things for me."

Harry looked down, but nodded.

"First, Professor Lupin has told you not to trust him?"

"Yes." Harry's answer was a bare whisper, but clear. 

"Second, you saw Lupin with a werewolf whom Professor Snape believes to be with the Wolven Freedom Union?"

"Looking damn near besotted." 

"I see. And third, your father has threatened Professor Lupin?"

"Yes, sir." Harry sank further in the chair. "He said he had better control over Professor Lupin than over me." 

"I see." Professor Dumbledore did not say anything further. After a long silence, Harry looked up and saw the headmaster was petting Fawkes and staring absently off into the distance.

"Have you any advice, sir?" The question bordered on sarcastic. Harry was amazed he had managed to say it at all. 

"Hm? Oh, about Professor Lupin?"

"Yes, sir. Specifically, should I trust him or not?" 

"I would keep in mind, Harry, that instincts are often better than reason, in these cases. Too much of the latter will leave you chasing your own shadow." He stood. "Thank you for speaking to me, Harry, but I'm afraid I have another guest arriving. You know you can always talk to me, don't you?"

 _Except now,_ Harry thought, but he nodded. "Yes, sir." 

"Good. Let me show you out." The old wizard opened the door, and Harry found himself face to face with Hermione, who had her hand raised, as if about to knock. From the trepidation on Hermione's face, Harry guessed she had been summoned and did not know why. He felt a sudden stab of guilt for having told his father about the ferret. Severus had seemed more intrigued than angry, by the time Harry had finished explaining it, and Harry had hoped he wouldn't get Hermione in trouble over it. _Not that it mattered. I needed to know the risks to her._ He looked again at Hermione, but she was greeting Professor Dumbledore now. When they disappeared into the office, Harry didn't even try to eavesdrop. He left. 

 

Harry scarcely noticed the walk back to Gryffindor. He deliberately drove Lupin and Hermione out of his mind by concentrating on plans for Saturday. _I need to buy time -- to look like I'm adapting nicely here, and moving me would be disruptive. And I need to seem biddable -- not one of my strengths. Ultimately, I need to be more valuable to him here than elsewhere, but how do I do that? Imply that I'll spy on Dumbledore?_

In the Gryffindor common room, he found a seat near the fire and sat staring at the twisting flames. Now that he considered it, he wasn't sure if he could wear the dressy outfit when Fudge was there -- he couldn't well wear it under his school robes, and being out of uniform would hardly promote his image as a docile, well-behaved young man.

The cushions shifted as someone sat down beside him. 

"Earth to Harry!" sang a cheery voice.

Harry looked over at Zoë. "Now there's a Muggle expression."

"Mm. M'Da's a Muggle." 

"Really? You seem like a wizard-raised girl." 

Zoë shrugged. "I was mostly brought up in wizarding culture. Dad doesn't have many ties in the Muggle world, though that's where he makes his money."

"Doing what?"

"He's a writer -- fantasy." Zoë giggled. "Now and then, the Ministry comes down on him for some leak of wizarding secrets to Muggles, and he needs to produce a half-dozen other books that say whatever it is about unicorns or levitation spells, or what have you."

"And he makes money?"

"A bit. Enough that Mum managed to get everyone by on that and savings when my brother and I were at home. She works again now, though -- safety research in the Department of Magical Transportation, and we're much more comfortable. I think I'd only had two new robes in my life before that." 

Harry vaguely remembered that Zoë had a younger brother in Ravenclaw. 

"You seem preoccupied," she prompted. 

"Just trying to work out my weekend."

"Watch the match. Lounge around." Zoë shrugged. "What is there to work out?"

"Mine's a little more complicated."

"Well, mine looks out and out boring." She shot him a questioning look. "Have any of those magicked cigs left?"

Harry stared at her. "What?"

"They sounded rather like fun. I was hoping I could beg one off you."

"If you want that sort of fun, you can damn well get it from something less--!" Harry winced at the startled look on her face. "Look, here," he said, more softly, "I've no excuse to be doing that myself. It was a substitute for food, originally, but now it's just me being stupid." He smiled coaxingly. "I have some Mood Wings left, and I think a few of the Plumage Puddings -- the ones that turn some of your hair into multicolored feathers."

"That's not like floating." 

Harry pulled out his wand, whispered a _Leviosa_ , and sent her shooting up towards the ceiling. "There," he called mockingly. "All set." 

"Let me down!"

"Oh no. You need to stay up there for five minutes."

"Harry, please! I won't bother you again." 

Harry scowled, then relented. He let her down. Her face was red, and she scooped up her bag quickly. "I'll go."

Harry caught at her arm. "You weren't bothering me." Her hair had been disarrayed by her brief flight. He brushed it back, and focused on her suddenly wide eyes. "If you started smoking because of me, _that_ would bother me."

"Oh." Zoë looked embarrassed. "I was mostly just thinking of it as a magic thing." 

"Still." Harry covered his discomfort by looking thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "You know, I wonder if the mood wings would be strong enough to steer with, if someone else was levitating you. Want to try?"

 

When Hermione returned, Zoë, Ron, Ginny, and a fifth-year boy were flying awkwardly around the common room. Harry tried to watch her approach as much as possible without losing his eye-line to the girls; Ginny was scraping the rafters. Harry saw Hermione's gaze rest a moment on a half-detached tapestry -- Ron had pulled down part of it earlier in an off-balance grab -- then she sighed, scanned the room, and focused directly on him. 

He wasn't surprised. He and Dean were standing with their wands out, obviously assisting the fliers. Hermione marched conspicuously up to them, her vigor ensuring that they would not be startled by her approach. 

"Have you been officially deputized by the twins, now?" she asked pointedly. 

Harry laughed. "Just alleviating house boredom. Is there a rule against flying in the common room? 

In answer, she scowled. "Could you at least keep them lower? Actually, could you leave this, for now? I want to talk to you ... privately." 

 

They went to the Room of Requirement. Harry thought that it was starting to seem like his personal parlor. Hermione set the wards, this time. Harry added another of his own.

"What's that do?"

"Block scent. My father taught it to me. Useful near werewolves and animagi." 

"Oh." Hermione frowned. "Harry -- why were you levitating people in the common room?"

"Zoë asked me for cigarettes." Harry looked down. "I was providing alternative entertainment."

"You're red," Hermione observed tartly. 

"It upset me -- to have her ask, I mean. If Teresa did that, I'd die." 

"Teresa will. She adores you."

Harry leaned back into the cushions. He closed his eyes tightly. "Bugger this. I don't need something else to worry about."

"You know my opinion."

"Yes." Harry forced his eyes open. "But this wasn't the point of talking, now was it? Was did Dumbledore want?"

Hermione glared at him. " _You_ told on me."

Harry covered his guilt with a smirk. "Tit for tat, _dear._ " 

"I'm just worried about you --"

"And you think I'm not worried about _you?"_ Abruptly, Harry found himself shivering. "I kept my questions theoretical until I'd heard enough frightening stuff to need to be specific." He looked guiltily away. "Are they taking him?"

"Actually, no." At the pride that crept into Hermione's annoyed tone, Harry looked back. She was smiling. "Apparently, I did unusually well. Professor Dumbledore wants me to continue the experiment -- under supervision, though he hasn't said whose -- first with Shadow, then with wild animals -- possibly weasels, or even birds, if I can handle that."

"Why?"

"He wants me to spy for the Order." 

Harry blinked. A reflexive mental shout of _No! It's too dangerous!_ had to be caught and pushed down. _It's not dangerous. She won't be there._

"Um ... congratulations. I mean, that's great. Thank you."

"Thank you?"

"Severus feels so guilty about ... he won't be able to spy anymore when Voldemort finds out about me, and he's afraid of not being useful enough, but also that it just won't get done. If you can get us good information, that might help." 

"Wouldn't he feel guilty about abandoning you to Fudge?"

"Mm. Well, yes." Harry shrugged. "I think he's usually screwed, whatever he does."

Hermione's brief look of sympathy changed quickly to disapproval. "Well, if he hadn't been a Death Eater, he wouldn't have these problems." 

Harry hid a flash of anger enough behind a cool nod, but his voice was harsh when he replied. "Amazing how you can fuck up the rest of your life at seventeen, isn't it?"

"Seventeen?" Hermione's voice caught in astonishment and her eyes widened. Harry expected she having trouble imagining a seventeen year old Professor Snape. He'd had the advantage of the pensieve with its pictures of a lone, skinny teenager, all study and fear and hate.

"I'd assume so. I know he took the Mark first term of his seventh year." He hesitated. "He said he made his first kill before term started, though. He might have been sixteen." 

Harry pulled his knees up and huddled down over them. Hermione reached out and gently stroked his back. 

"It's not your problem, Harry."

Harry laid his head down on his knees. "Don't you understand? This isn't something we're too young to worry about, anymore. Last time ... it was kids our age, or just a little older, a lot of it. Draco's old enough to do it --" a slight, dry laugh escaped him -- "put his arm and his wand where his mouth's been for years." _I wonder if he's as scared of that as I am?_ "You're being recruited, by our side." He shivered. "My father is demanding that I stay out of it until I leave school. I like it that he cares, but I don't see that it helps. I can only be kept from voluntary participation, and if I don't go to the fight, it _will_ come to me." He looked up. Hermione's scorn had changed fully to horror. He met it with a cold smile. "If I don't kill Voldemort first, we will certainly be in lessons with Death Eaters, in our seventh year."

"That's...." Hermione's voice failed.

"Yeah, isn't it?"

"Will he? Malfoy, I mean?"

Harry shrugged. "He seems to have lost interest. Voldemort could probably still have him -- but he'd need to make the effort. I doubt Draco is worth that to him, at the moment." 

"So you are sitting in lessons with someone who might become a Death Eater."

"I make it less likely." Harry thought for a moment. "I suppose he's worth it to me, if you like." He laughed, remembering his demands of Draco the night before. "Why should I let Lord Tom have him without a fight?"

"Because he's a nasty little bigot!"

"Ideological purity will not win us the war."

"He hates _me._ Does that mean anything to you?"

"Yes." Harry looked at her steadily. "It means he has a lot to learn about people. And his old friends won't teach it to him." 

She looked down, but not before he caught the glint of tears.

"Hermione...." 

"I'm sorry. It's just that ... when he whispers and you turn red and laugh, I can't help feeling you don't care. I know the sorts of things Malfoy says."

Harry fumbled for her hand. He held it tight while he thought. "You know the sort of thing he yells in the corridors," he said finally, "or used to. It's not the same; I told you that. And you both know what happens when he insults my friends."

"Do I?"

"When I told him I was taking you to the Ball? Remember? And we fought in Defense? He had to come to me to make up." Harry felt a sharp edge of satisfaction just from the memory. "He doesn't like having to say he was wrong. It's beneath him. He's more careful, now." 

"But he still _wants_ to--"

"So you presume." Harry hesitated. "It's not like I'm a pureblood, either, you know."

Hermione shrugged, a little movement of her shoulders that left her hunched over. "Reading any more?"

"Yeah. Um, the latest one's a play. There's this witch, and she's supposed to marry her cousin, who's well-born and all, but she doesn't want to. She has a Muggle lover that she smuggles into the castle with polyjuice, and one of her children is actually his. And she favors the bastard son, but he is sneaking out and leading a group of bandits. I suspect they're going to do something horrible soon."

"And the pureblood son is good and virtuous?"

"And put upon." Harry rolled his eyes. "Don't get too offended. It's Elizabethan."

"So that makes it okay?"

Harry frowned. "Prejudice four hundred years ago doesn't bother me. I've got enough to worry about now." 

"But people are still reading this!"

"It's a good play! It's intense and stirring and beautifully written with believable characters and just enough witty lines to keep the tragedy from driving you to despair, and yes, it's still widely read, and it deserves to be." Harry flopped back into the cushions. "If you want, you can think of the boys as 'the spoiled one' and 'the disciplined one' rather than 'the half-blood' and 'the pureblood' or 'the bastard' and 'the true heir.' They all work. It even has some irony to it, because the favored son does believe he is legitimate and a pureblood. In one scene, he has a Muggle whipped for touching him. Actually, I'm betting he and his band are going to kill his real father, and then his mother will confess, and he'll kill himself." 

"Lovely." Hermione caught herself in mid scowl and straightened. "Well, very Elizabethan, actually," she admitted, with a little smile. 

"Is it?"

"Yes."

       

Harry came back to the Room of Requirement after dinner to wait for Draco. He ended up with his usual lounge, except it now had a reading lamp and a side table by one of the couches. He finished the play, and found the end even gorier than he expected. The illegitimate son, in the course of his banditry, did indeed kill his father and also raped his Muggle half-sister. When told the truth by his mother, he killed her, then her husband, who found him with the body, then himself. The Muggle half-sister came to make complaint, and the legitimate son led her to his mother's chamber, where the two of them found the bodies. She recognized her father's mistress, and they figured out the situation in two alternating sestets. He said she would be provided for, but must leave the country, and she agreed and left to tell her mother and brothers. The legitimate son, standing among the bodies, had a short monologue on the destruction brought about by untempered desires, and the play ended. 

 

Harry put the book down. He felt utterly drained. "Something simpler next time, I think." 

After eight inches of a Charms essay, he had stopped mourning the characters, but he was no less tense. He jumped when he heard a knock at the door, then forced himself to settle down in a casual pose. 

"Alohomora."

The door swung open. Draco, standing with his hand upraised, stumbled forward and turned in a slow circle, staring. 

"Where's the ... the stuff? The books? The Kerner? The mats?" He glared at Harry. "This isn't even the same room!"

"I didn't think we needed that one." Harry stood up and beckoned him over. "You didn't want to duel, did you?"

"No, of course not. If I had planned a duel, I would have told you to bring a second." 

Harry rolled his eyes. "Of course. Have a seat, then." 

Draco sat on the couch across from him, his arms and legs spread aggressively wide and his mouth curved into a mocking smile. "Is this your private study, Harry?"

"Tonight it is." Harry set aside his quill and cast the wards against sound, sight, and scent. "So. You've had time to think. Do you have an answer? A counter offer?"

"I have considered what you said about how your request went well with my intent ..."

Harry noted the use of "request", but let it pass. He nodded.

"... and you have a point. However, it is not in my nature to remain ignorant of my friends' actions and alliances. I prefer to be informed."

"As I prefer privacy. Your suggestion?"

"I don't like it, and I wish that known. However, I am willing to agree, provided the arrangement is mutual." Draco stared at him in challenge. "You, also, cannot pursue a question I have rejected, nor report me Dumbledore for aberrations in behavior that I have told you to ignore." 

Harry considered. "Any actions against my friends--"

"You will counter, of course. But you may not act on suspicion. If I say 'drop it,' you drop it. If you say 'drop it,' I drop it. Fair?"

After another minute's thought. Harry nodded. "Fair." 

"Let's shake on it, then."

They stood and shook hands quite formally. It reminded Harry of the day in the grove. Afterwards, Draco seemed more relaxed. He sprawled back on the low futon and looked at the colored fairy lights. 

"Quite the odd little place here, Harry. Doesn't seem like the best spot to study." 

"It's not, really. I was just waiting for you. Two hours of waiting for a two-minute conversation." Harry turned down the wick on the reading lamp until it went out. The circle of bright light disappeared, dimming the room, but removing the dichotomy of light and shadow. The space was lit almost evenly, now. "It usually looks like this -- more of a place to talk." Impulsively, Harry tugged on the cord around his neck to pull out the glass sphere, unscrewed the top, and blew a cluster of little bubbles. "I come here with friends, sometimes." Deliberately, he moved a hand under the bubbles. A little burst of cheer made it through with each one. By the third, he felt almost normal. At the fifth, he caught his tongue between his teeth not to laugh.

"Harry?"

Harry grinned at Draco. "Want some? No hangover."

Draco looked warily at him. "It's bubble soap. It's not even very good bubble soap. The kind _I_ had as a child had little pictures in each bubble." 

"This is different. Hold still."

Draco set his head down stubbornly, but before he could say anything, Harry leaned forward and blew bubbles in his face. Draco giggled, then twisted away abruptly. For a moment he looked like he would jump to his feet. "Harry...." He settled down again. A frighteningly relaxed smile spread across his face. It made him seem unfamiliar. "You meant it."

"Meant what?"

"No hangover."

"Oh, yes!"

"Where did you get it?" 

"Can't say."

"Can't?"

"Won't. Want more?"

 

After several rounds of the bubble stuff, Harry stopped bothering to blow more. He had resumed thinking about his upcoming meeting with Fudge, and as his head cleared, his earlier ideas came back to him and began lazily to expand and alter. A peripheral awareness of movement gave him the sense that Draco had sat up, but he continued to look at the ceiling. His heart sped up with the possibility of danger, and he smiled.

"Harry?"

"Hm?"

"I think it's time to go. I don't know about you, but I have work to do."

"Well, first -- you remember how you offered me -- what did you call it? To reciprocate?"

Draco laughed. "'Reciprocity.' It's a diplomatic term -- I was being grandiose."

"Ah. Well, I want to take you up on that."

"You want to be seen with me? Yesterday wasn't enough for you?"

"Yes." Harry rolled onto his side. Draco was sitting on the facing couch, elbows on his knees, watching Harry intently. 

"Fudge is going to visit. He says he wants to 'evaluate my educational situation.' I think he wants to move me and is looking for reasons."

"So?"

"So I want to show that I'm making valuable social contacts here." Harry grinned. "You."

"You _do_ remember that my father is in prison, don't you?"

"I don't believe it matters. Fudge respects the old pureblood families."

Draco's face tightened into the sharp lines that Harry thought he had outgrown. "One would not know it from the things he said about Father." 

"Draco! He was in the man's pocket for years! He needed to distance himself, and fast." Harry sat up. "But _you_ didn't do anything." Harry focused on the colored lights then let them blur as he considered Fudge's probable opinion of Draco. "Actually, this would probably benefit you, too. I mean, if you're friendly with me, that disassociates you from your father's activities...."

"And if you're with me, you're not a completely lost cause."

"Exactly!" Harry looked at Draco again, and ducked his head at the sight of Draco's superior smirk. "Well, yes. If I do something socially awkward, you should tell me -- just lightly, as if you always do."

"May I tell him I'm civilizing you?"

"Perfect."

Draco leaned back, spreading an arm out along the back of the sofa. "Oh, I _am_ going to enjoy this."

"No insulting my friends."

"Not more than usual."

Harry sighed. "I suppose that's as much as I can expect." 

Draco shook his head. Slowly the smirk faded from his face until he was frowning at the wall past Harry's head. "I've worked out why people don't like me," he said conversationally. 

Harry tried not to roll his eyes. He could just imagine Draco saying "it's envy," or "they don't like the way I speak." 

"Yes?" he managed. 

"Because I'm an arsehole, really." 

Harry looked at him incredulously for a moment, then laughed. "Top marks, Mr. Malfoy."

"Oh, thanks," Draco muttered. 

"I'm not going to disagree with that!" Harry sent him a conciliatory look. "You've been much better to me, recently, but--" He stopped. "What led you to this revelation?"

"The other day in Snape's rooms -- when you were in his bedroom -- I was just listening to him go on -- he was talking about how to control you, and how Granger wouldn't matter to you, later -- and thinking I must sound just like that. I like him, you know, but he's a cold bastard, and -- well." 

"You get much of it from the same master, I expect."

"Potter!" Draco's eyes focused as his teeth bared in a brief snarl. "I have _no_ contact with the Dark Lord."

Harry had a moment of alarm that Draco would give away so much about Severus before recalling that his father was known to have been a Death Eater in the seventies. "I didn't mean Voldemort; I meant your father." 

Draco's brow furrowed at that, but Harry continued. "What _I_ noticed in Snape's rooms was how you stepped on my hand."

"You were invisible!"

"Yes, but you guessed that you'd stepped on someone invisible, didn't you? Then you came back and did it again -- entirely to cause pain."

"But you were _invisible!_ It made sense to assume you were an enemy."

"And your instinct was to torture, not capture." Harry kept any anger from his voice. He wanted to make Draco understand this, not to scold him for it. "If you'd put your foot on me and pulled your wand, that would be different."

Pale lashes dipped down over Draco's eyes. His voice was cool and distant. "I see."

Harry sighed and starting packing his bag. Draco stood. "Pity about the Kerner." 

"The what?"

"You had a Kerner Dark Detector in the room yesterday." He looked at Harry's surprise and shrugged. "I was hoping we could play." 

Harry's breath caught. He remembered the exhilarating, exhausting union of music and emotion, and struggled to speak normally through a suddenly dry mouth. "Next time, perhaps." 

 

Harry spent most of Friday morning preoccupied with plans for Fudge. On Friday afternoon, while walking beside Hermione on the way to Care of Magical Creatures, he realized that she had not spoken to him since asking him to pass the potatoes at lunch. 

"Hermione?"

"Hm?" 

"You're not upset with me, are you?"

Hermione shrugged diffidently. "No." Despite the denial, she did not look at him. Harry cast about for something to say. 

"I'm reading a new book -- something you'll like better."

"Really."

"Yes. It's set in the first Voldemort era. This girl's family has fled Iran -- there was a revolution there -- and has settled near London. There was some scary stuff, but they're through it now, and they're safe -- except to the wizarding reader it's clear she got them through it with accidental magic. Now she's here, and strange, bad things are happening. Voldemort is in power, and she's a witch -- a Muggle-born, foreign witch -- and she needs to figure that out and learn to use her power so she can protect her family."

"That sounds promising."

"I'm enjoying it, in a way, though it's also disturbing -- I think the news events the author included might all be _real_. There was a riot that sounds like one..." he took a deep breath, "one Sirius told me about -- a Muggle race riot that Voldemort used to whip up fears of Muggle instability -- -- and an IRA bomb attack that I _know_ was really a wizard battle with a lot of Muggle casualties."

"A wizard battle was explained as an IRA attack?"

"Right. Seamus was explaining to Dean that the Muggle Irish paramilitary groups -- both sides -- only did about half of what they took credit for in the seventies, and he mentioned that one -- the same day as Lord Mountbatten, which really _was_ the IRA. The riot was even stranger. Our crowd was pretty sure it had actually been triggered by outside agents, Death Eaters, perhaps, or someone in the Muggle government with similar goals. Possibly both." Harry frowned. "Reading this is ... being there. It was scary for the Muggles, too -- and just ordinary wizards who hadn't thought they were involved. I think about the wizards who _were_ actively involved, like Sirius and Remus and my parents -- all three of them -- while I'm reading about these things and wonder -- were any of them in that one? That one? Did any of their friends die, then?" 

He shivered. "There's so much I wish I could ask Sirius."

Hermione bit her lip. "You can still talk to Lupin."

Harry's sorrow fled in a flash of annoyance. "I wish!" He forced a shrug, willing his shoulders to stay down, afterwards. "So... want to borrow it when I'm done?"

Hermione looked cautiously at him, but then smiled. "I'd like that, Harry -- thank you."


	67. Masks

 

Harry got up very early on Saturday morning. He crept out of the dormitory and out of the tower without encountering anyone. When he got to Dumbledore's office, the sun was just bright enough to light the colored windows to the east and cast a spot of blue on a sheet of long, red hair. 

Bill Weasley turned from the fireplace and smiled. 

"Oh, hello! Dumbledore's just stepped out to get the base from Professor Sn-- your father." 

Harry raised his eyebrows. Bill coughed. It took Harry a moment to recall that was one of his more Snape-like expressions.

"How is everyone taking it?" he asked cautiously.

Bill shrugged. "About what you'd expect. Mum got home, broke down for a bit, and has been staunchly positive since. Dad's a bit leery of Snape having custody of you, but he's got nothing against you; he just doesn't trust Snape, and nobody blames him, really. Charlie shrugs and says it doesn't affect us; you're still you. Fred and George think it's a brilliant joke. How are Ron and Ginny?" As an afterthought, he added, "Percy doesn't know, of course." 

"Ginny's been fine from the start. Ron was awful, at first, but he's been better since the meeting, though he said it was disturbing to see us together."

Bill looked thoughtful. "Seeing you at the meeting was..." He frowned. "Disturbing and reassuring both. It was the difference between knowing he sired you and knowing he's your dad."

Harry ducked his head. "I've never called him that." 

"Still. You understand?"

Harry managed a tentative smile. "Yeah." He wanted to ask more about Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, but Dumbledore put an end to the conversation by stepping sedately from the fire.

"Good morning, boys." He extended a small porcelain bucket to Bill. "William, here is the medium." 

Bill took the handle of the bucket. "Choose a seat, Harry. Wherever you're comfortable." He gave Harry a slightly predatory grin. "This can take a while." 

"Oh, great."

 

In fact, the process took over an hour. Bill duplicated the photograph of Tonks-as-Harry, laid one copy on top of the stuff in the bucket, and then cast a spell which melted the picture into the potion and changed its color from puce to marbled swirls of brown and white and pink. He took the second photograph, cast another spell on it, then stretched it over Harry's face. It stuck like a popped bubble of gum. With that secured, Bill dipped a brush handle, devoid of any hair, into the mixture. The potion stretched out in strands like melted Swiss cheese. Bill had to twirl the brush until all the mass was taken up on the invisible tip. 

"Does that have hair or not?" Harry asked, moving his lips as little as possible.

Bill nodded. "From a thestral's fetlock. It might feel a bit cold."

Indeed, Harry flinched involuntarily back at the first wet touch. The second time, he was ready and stayed still. Bill painted over the photograph, and where he painted, the sensation of stretched bubblegum went away, leaving only a slight cool feeling, as if his face, and only his face, were in the path of a soft breeze.

 

It was an hour later that Harry left Dumbledore's office. He hoped no one commented on the change in his appearance. It was supposed to be subtle, but he had still found looking in the mirror startling. 

He went straight to breakfast, and left his hair down to obscure the change. He kept his head down, as well, focusing on his plate. 

"Harry?" Ron queried. "You all right, there?"

Harry glanced up and gave him a quick wink. "Fine," he said, and went back to shoveling in porridge. 

Fudge had still not arrived by the end of breakfast, so Harry went up to the common room, tied back the front strands of his hair, and hid his face in his current book. He had just finished it, half an hour later, when Hermione stopped by to ask how he was doing. 

"Fine," he said. "Just nervous." 

Hermione's brow furrowed as she regarded him. She took the book that he extended towards her, but without looking at it.

"Regressing?" she asked. 

She could have been referring to the book, which Harry judged to be aimed at a slightly younger audience, but Harry knew she meant his face. 

"A bit," he replied. "Sometimes these things are necessary. I wish Fudge would show up!" He glanced around. People were milling about in preparation for the walk down to the pitch. "Should I go?"

Hermione snorted. "Well, it's where I'd look for you!" 

She had a point, Harry decided. He stood up and offered her his arm. "May I escort you, then, Miss Granger?"

She curtsied. "Why thank you, Mr. Potter! I would be most pleased." Giggling, she put his hand through his arm, and they started off for the Slytherin-Hufflepuff match. The dignity of their departure was marred by the awkward maneuver of climbing through the portrait hole. 

About half-way to the pitch, they were intercepted by Professor McGonagall. "Mr. Potter! The Minister for Magic has arrived. You are to come to the staff seating in the stands --" she sent a harried, but apologetic look at Hermione -- "alone, I'm afraid. Come along, now." 

 

Fudge was already seated next to Dumbledore when Harry arrived. McGonagall took her seat on the other side of the headmaster. 

"Well, there you are, Harry!" Fudge said jovially. "I must say I'm quite looking forward to a Hogwarts Quidditch game. Less stuffy than the professional sort, I always say." He motioned Harry into the seat beside him and said, in a pretense of a confidential whisper, "Not such fancy flying as if you were out there, eh?"

"Oh, I don't know," Harry said carelessly. "Draco Malfoy is quite good." Nearby, McGonagall stiffened, and Hagrid choked in his beard. "And the Hufflepuffs play hard. Not like Ravenclaw for strategy, though."

"Slytherin," McGonagall said dryly, "has its own sort of strategy."

Harry laughed. "If Draco spent half as much time recruiting quality players as he does making plots, they might win more often." 

Ernie, at this point, had turned to glower at him. Professor McGonagall leaned forward. "Announce the players, Macmillan." 

When the shouting started, Harry heard shrill voices and remembered the refugee families. They were in the stands near the staff section, but on the other side of it from his seat. This made them harder to see than if they were further away. It was easiest to see the spectators on the other side of the pitch. He craned his neck, but could only get a vague impression of people not dressed in black robes.

"Ah, the 'guests,'" Fudge said in a voice of disapproval. "A nuisance, I expect?"

"I forgot about them, actually. We only see them at games." 

Fudge started to say something else, but Madame Hooch released the balls, and there was no point in trying to talk over the roar of approval as the players moved into action. Harry sat back to watch, and the Minister did the same. 

 

The staff box was no more restrained or non-partisan than the rest of the audience; it merely held the various factions in closer proximity. When Goyle deliberately missed the bludger and clubbed a Hufflepuff Chaser on the knee, Harry was not the only one on his feet screaming "foul!" McGonagall restrained Ernie from holding forth on the injury, but Harry knew she had been shrieking herself, a moment earlier. Severus held that it was an understandable mistake. 

Ten minutes later, with the score at fifty/sixty to Hufflepuff, Harry spotted the snitch. It was over by the stands, in front of a cluster of Ravenclaws, who were, of course, studiously ignoring it. He lost track of it a bit later. The score was up to a hundred to seventy, in Hufflepuff's favor, when he spotted it again, down around the base of the Hufflepuff goals, dangerously close to the center post. Approaching from the rear would be almost impossible, and approaching from the front would require a cross-body or left handed grab. Harry wondered if both Seekers were right handed. He thought so. 

A gasp from the crowd redirected his attention up to playing level. Draco was diving, and the Hufflepuff Seeker swooping around to join him. The Hufflepuff Seeker was closer to the snitch, but the turn cost her. She and Draco were converging on the post from near-equal distances. The snitch spiraled up the pole, but then zipped back down to its original location. Harry saw Draco adjust his grip, and he tensed. _The idiot! He'll miss it on a cross-body grab._ "Left!" he screamed. 

Draco did one better. He veered clear of the pole as he approached, swung his legs up to one side, and came in almost parallel to the ground. The Hufflepuff Seeker panicked and pulled up. With a reach above his head, Draco took the Snitch.

Harry jumped spontaneously to his feet. "Yes!" he yelled. "Draco!" He heard a strangled sound to his left, and the now-familiar choking gasp of Severus attempting not to laugh. Harry glanced over at Fudge, and found the Minister looking perplexed. 

"I, er, thought -- weren't you supporting Hufflepuff earlier?"

"Much too early in the season for that!" Harry bounced a few more times before managing to sit. Ernie, in a strangled voice, was dutifully attempting to acknowledge Malfoy's spectacular move, but being drowned out by Slytherin cheering. "I don't care who wins _this_ game. That was a brilliant dive though! Absolutely brilliant."

"But you were protesting --"

"That was cheating! They shouldn't cheat. If they got, oh, Beaters with brains and Chasers who worked together, they wouldn't need to."

"Ah! It's the skill you admire."

Harry collected himself. He glanced past Fudge and saw, beyond him, Dumbledore's amusement and McGonagall's glare. He was sorry Severus was behind him. He would have liked to have watched the looks that must be passing between his father and his head of house. McGonagall was completely ignoring Ernie as he announced the final score as two hundred twenty to one hundred, then, at Hooch's nod, officially declared Slytherin the winner of the match. Fudge clapped politely, and Harry with belated restraint. He could hear much more vigorous applause behind him. 

Dumbledore and Fudge got to their feet, and everyone else, as if released, followed. Staff members began to file out of the stands. 

"Anyway, this just brings them even with us," Harry commented, standing as well. "I can afford to be generous until spring." That got a knowledgeable look from the Minister. 

"When you can, it's best, eh?" The Minister's face took on a jovial smile that was clearly as practiced as Lockhart's. "Well, Harry, the headmaster has given me permission to take you into Hogsmeade for a spot of lunch and to get a bit better acquainted. What do you say to that?"

Harry was obviously expected to consider this a great treat, so he forced an equally broad smile. "That sounds great!" He glanced towards the stairs. "May I stop and congratulate Draco, first, though?"

There was a bit of confusion at the stairs as McGonagall stopped in her tracks, causing Madam Pomfrey to walk into her. Harry ignored it, and Fudge didn't seem to notice its significance. 

"Well, I don't see why not. Is that a captain's tradition?" 

Harry bit back a laugh. "Not really. We're just friends." He couldn't resist another look at McGonagall. She was staring at him as if he'd grown another head. 

"Well, I must say I'm a bit surprised," Fudge remarked, as they started down. "I had expected the boy to take after his father a bit too much to be friendly with The-Boy-Who-Lived. I mean, really!" He slapped Harry on the back. "Hardly a supporter of You-Know-Who, now, are you?"

"Draco doesn't care," Harry said casually. "It's not like he's one of _them_ , you know." _At least,_ he amended silently, _I hope not. He hasn't tried to kill me yet._

 

Harry had to yell into the changing rooms for someone to fetch Draco, and he wasn't sure anyone would have, if Goyle hadn't been on the team. He seemed to have accepted Harry as an eccentricity of Draco's. The lumbering boy emerged briefly, looking annoyed, but not murderous. His eyes lit on the Minister for Magic and went wide, and he stumbled back inside again without having said a word. A moment later, he returned to say that Draco would be out as soon as he had changed. 

Draco emerged a scant few minutes later, dressed in his school robes. He was pink from the shower, but his hair was magically dried. He shot Harry a quick grin, then turned his attention to the Minister. 

"Minister. How good to see you again. Have you come to visit your famous ward?"

"I thought it best --" Fudge began stiffly, but Draco nodded pleasantly. 

"Oh, of course. He hasn't had _nearly_ enough of that." He looked cockily at Harry. "And what have you got to say, Gryffindor?"

"That dive was brilliant! I would have tried a left handed grab, or a quick twist round."

"No doubt catching the snitch, but ending up in the hospital wing for a day or two."

Harry laughed. "No doubt. How did you _do_ it?"

"Oh, I've been practicing that trick for more than a year -- since the '95 European League finals, when Benoit tried it. I was starting to think I'd never get to show it off!" Draco sent Fudge a quick sidelong glance, then set his shoulders back and turned slightly, to face the minister. "I beg your pardon, sir. I'm being terribly rude. It's just excitement from the game -- Harry and I are both quite Quidditch-mad, you know." 

"No problem at all," Fudge said indulgently. "Youthful high spirits -- entirely understandable." He paused. "So, the two of you are friends, are you?"

Draco sent Harry a challenging look. "Despite a bit of disapproval from other Gryffindors --"

"As if Slytherin is thrilled!" Harry scoffed.

"Well, yes," Draco said. "It is recent, you know -- both of us have grown up a bit." He hesitated noticeably. "And father -- his dislike --" Draco looked away. "It was educational...." He trailed off as if unable to finish. 

"S'alright," Harry said softly. 

"Well, there," Fudge said awkwardly. "Not your fault, of course -- not a bit of it. Harry, would your friend like to join us for lunch, perhaps? I don't mind some game chatter, as long as it's not non-stop." 

Draco's head swiveled quickly back, and he stared at Harry.

"Oh, Draco probably has a victory party--"

"No, I'd love to!" Draco's quick frown was urgent, though his voice light. "The party will be going on all day, I expect." He glanced at the Minister. "May I change, sir? I always feel awkward in school robes, when I go into Hogsmeade."

Harry flinched. He hadn't even told Draco about his clothes! How had the Slytherin known to suggest that? Nonetheless, the Minister consented, then turned to him and asked him if he would like to change, as well. At Harry's agreement, he said he would clear things with the headmaster and meet them in the Entrance Hall. Harry was halfway up to the tower before it occurred to him that Draco might simply have meant what he said. 

 

Harry was quite pleased with his reception when he returned. Draco's eyes widened, and the Minister's jaw dropped. 

"Well, I must say," he blustered, "you clean up far better than I expected. Looking quite respectable, Mr. Potter."

Harry nodded humbly. "Getting away from the Muggles, I expect. I can buy my own clothes, now." He sent Draco a shy smile. "And I'm lucky enough to have friends who can advise me."

Draco looked as indulgently pleased as if he really had helped Harry select his clothes. "You're learning." Fudge led them down the steps to a waiting carriage, pulled by two dapple-grey horses and one black, harnessed in unicorn formation with the black in the lead. A flag bearing the Ministry of Magic seal fluttered beside the whip, as if in a stiff breeze, though the air was still. Draco glanced approvingly at the ornate carvings and the uniformed coachman and attendant before returning his attention to Harry. "By the time you leave school, I expect I'll trust you in a shop by yourself." 

They settled into the carriage, Fudge facing forwards, the two young men across from him. The carriage started off, and an uncomfortable silence settled. Fudge cleared his throat. 

"So, Harry, I'm afraid we might rather have got off on the wrong foot, last year, what with your trial and all." He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not sure you realize how incredible your ... er ... testimony...."

"But I understand completely," Harry said earnestly, over the creak of the springs below them. He had expected this subject to arise, and had prepared for it. "I mean, a Dementor! I must have sounded mad. But I didn't understand that, then. I was too young, and too -- too Muggle-raised." He widened his eyes. "And V- You-Know-Who is so -- so intense! I was back in the memory of meeting him every time I thought of it. I couldn't imagine then how it was different for someone without that experience, so I expect I was no good at explaining." He let his words tumble out with believable awkwardness. "It was too strong for me; I'd only been fourteen. In retrospect, it's not at all odd you didn't believe me -- what's strange is that Dumbledore did." 

Fudge, his good humor restored, leaned confidentially forward. "I expect Dumbledore likes that sort of thing. The grand epic struggle, you know." 

Harry forced himself to laugh. "The dramatic secret, too! But he does seems a bit of a mind-reader, as well," he added seriously. "He can sense a lie." 

Fudge shook his head. "The man just knows how to intimidate people into confessions, that's all. Can't tell a bit more than the rest of us." 

Harry forced a grin. "Well, that's a relief!" 

Fudge was still chuckling when the rapid hoofbeats slowed abruptly and the carriage drew to a swaying halt, forcing all the passengers to sit back to keep from pitching off their seats. Draco motioned, with a subtle downward press of his hand, for Harry to stay seated. The attendant opened the carriage, and Fudge left first. Draco made little shooing motions, and Harry followed. Draco emerged at his heels. 

Harry didn't recognize where they were, at first. Glancing left, then right, down the street, he finally spotted a landmark. On the near corner stood the little bookstore he had been to last Hogsmeade weekend. They were on a Hogsmeade side street, in front of what looked like a rather grand house with lots of windows. 

Fudge preened. "My favorite restaurant here. Reservation only, but I'm sure they won't mind adding another -- especially the Malfoy heir." 

Harry noted the Minister's covetous glance in Draco's direction and barely bit back a growl. He had to look away to compose himself. 

 

The restaurant seemed more like someone's private, very grand home, but with five generously spaced tables in the dining room. They were seated at the one in the front corner, which had excellent views of the formal gardens both before and beside the house. Two other tables were occupied: one by a clutch of elegantly dressed witches with high, tittering laughs, and one by two elaborately robed wizards, who seemed to be negotiating a business deal with an equally elaborately robed witch who did not laugh. All cast occasional discreet glances at the Minister for Magic and his young guests.

Fudge let Harry get through his soup with light talk of Quidditch and food. Harry had already tucked into his roast lamb dish before the Minister said anything objectionable. 

"So, Harry --" the Minister cleared his throat -- "I have been reviewing your ... er... schedule...."

Harry looked up. "And?"

"I think that your studies could be more ... hm... productively focused. Care of Magical Creatures, for example -- not a course for young wizards of any ambition. Rather a working class pursuit, you know, for those that can't do better." He cleared his throat again. "And then you have Defense Against the Dark Arts, which is respectable enough in itself, but considering the instructor--"

"Oh, but Lupin's brilliant," Harry burst out, before he could restrain himself. He backpedaled at Draco's warning scowl. "A pity, of course, about his _condition_ , but he is an admirable teacher, still. And it's my best subject. It always has been." 

"You seem to excel at the matter whatever your instruction," Fudge soothed. "Still, I maintain that studying under a werewolf is inadvisable -- especially in the current political climate."

"I do understand your objection, sir--" Inwardly, Harry wanted to scream at Fudge for what he understood, but he restrained himself -- "but he can hardly attack me in class. I am quite careful to never be alone with him." 

Draco's eyes widened in incredulity. He covered his reaction by looking down to cut a neat slice from his pheasant. 

"Still -- people will talk, you know. It lends him a dangerous respectability...."

"They will talk even more if I change my subjects in the middle of term," Harry argued. "And the conclusions will not be complimentary -- to either of us. Shouldn't it wait until the change will be a little less conspicuous?"

Fudge sat back with a deep breath of satisfaction. "Of course," he conceded. "Any changes must wait until the end of term." He made a decisive cut across his steak. "We might cover for it with other changes," he suggested brightly. "I have been considering moving you out of Hogwarts entirely -- perhaps to the British Academy of Wizarding Knowledge."

"The what?"

"It's a smaller school," Fudge said. "A bit more ... selective _._ Far more suitable to encouraging your political development."

"But I'm not interested in politics."

Fudge laughed. "Politics, regardless, are interested in you -- it would be best if you had some skill in the arena. The Academy is in London, quite popular with diplomats' families, and less ... haphazardly staffed than Hogwarts. A better sort of pupil, too, on the whole."

Harry lost all his careful stratagems. He managed not to protest, but he could not say anything useful. Draco stepped in for him. 

"An admirable position, Minister," he said respectfully, "but I _am_ familiar with that school, and I hold that a more varied environment also has educational advantages."

Fudge smiled indulgently at him. "Enough to be worthwhile in your case, perhaps, but in Harry's?

"I have watched him here." Draco's tone was polite, but his head haughtily high. "Harry is developing into an accomplished coalition-builder, who has wide influence in three houses. A more homogenous environment might stifle that particular skill, don't you think?"

"I'm more worried about developing the skills he lacks." 

"Personally, I favor specialization. His strengths are clear."

"And you'd miss him, I wager?" Fudge suggested.

Harry did not expect Draco to accept such an obvious deflection, but Draco nodded readily. 

"I would be so bored! Please?" Draco's even, considered voice changed to a wheedling childish tone. "And think! He wouldn't have the benefit of _my_ social experience." 

Winning the argument, Harry remembered, was not Draco's goal. Draco was doing a fine job of displaying connections to Harry. That reminded him that he did not need to win the argument, either -- merely to prevent any immediate changes. _Provided my father can manage to not get killed in the next three weeks, that is._

Talk turned to social experience, and Harry dredged up a few amusing stories of being a confused, Muggle-raised child suddenly placed in a wizarding world. It made him think of Arthur Weasley, attempting to use matches, which made it easy to take the matter lightly. He explained trying to crack the code of clothing and hair, and other things that the two of them would take for granted. To his surprise, he found he was once again managing to be entertaining. 

"Honestly, Potter!" Draco exclaimed, while Fudge was chuckling over Harry's comment that he might as well be naked if he'd left off trousers. "No wonder you get along with the Mudbloods!"

Fudge flinched. 

"Draco," Harry said warningly. 

"Yes, I say there, mind your language." The minister was casting furtive glances at the other diners, but if anyone had overheard, they were not reacting. Draco had turned quite pink. 

"Sorry," he said faintly. He gestured slightly at the rich room about them. "It's ... it's like being home."

"And do you speak that way at home?" Fudge frowned slightly.

Draco's embarrassment faded into a slight amusement. "Of course we did, _sir._ What did you think my father would call them?"

"Well, I know he was more civil in public." 

Harry had the suspicion that Draco's comment would have garnered only a smile in the carriage, and Fudge was quite accustomed to such slurs from Lucius in private. Draco merely shrugged. 

"Well, there. Harry is good for my manners as well, then." He sent Harry a curiously shy look. Harry wondered if it meant anything, or if it was merely Draco's attempt to look like a contrite child. "He has a lot to learn, but I suppose I have a few things to unlearn." 

Harry nodded fractionally -- an arrogant acknowledgement that caused Draco's eyes to widen. Harry's dignity broke, and they both laughed. 

"Language aside, you have a point. " Harry picked up his fork, again. "People do tend to socialize with people they can understand, you know."

Draco's pale eyebrows arched in polite disbelief. "Is that so? Than what on earth caused you and me to tolerate being in the same room?"

"Kerner Dark Detector," Harry whispered confidentially, and they laughed again. Fudge cleared his throat. 

"Oh, sorry!" Harry said. "Our joke." 

"Kerner...."

"Something Professor Lupin showed us." 

Fudge looked at Draco in surprise. "You are studying under that ... creature, as well?"

"How many chances does one have to observe a werewolf at close quarters?" Draco returned lightly. He lifted his head. "Besides, Father had intended to have me drop the course once it was optional. I couldn't resist shocking everyone by staying in it." 

 

When the Minister for Magic left the table, briefly, Draco lifted his eyebrows slightly and whispered, "I'm impressed."

Harry leaned across the table to lower his voice even more. "And I'm going to retch." 

Draco's eyes flashed in warning. "Public, Harry."

Harry let his voice get louder and anxious. "Well, you grew up with it -- important people, I mean. I can't stop myself feeling nervous; he's the Minister of Magic!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Poor little dear." He winked at Harry. "Eat your lunch." He looked at the lamb. "Trust you to pick the most suburban dish on the menu, even here! Would you like to taste my pheasant?" 

 

By the return trip to Hogwarts, Harry had consented to look at brochures for the British Academy of Wizarding Knowledge. He had carefully not promised to consent to a transfer, and Fudge had -- no doubt equally carefully -- not promised to comply with his wishes, but they were not outwardly in conflict. Harry had, he thought, managed to seem polite, focused on wizarding matters, and sophisticated enough for his age and class origins. 

He felt deeply relieved as they stepped from the carriage. Fudge was meeting with McGonagall, next, to review his marks, and then with Dumbledore, and he would be eating dinner at the staff table, so other than protecting his face and minding his manners at dinner, Harry's ordeal was over. And, he thought, with Draco along, it hadn't been that bad. He leaned toward Draco as Fudge was exiting the carriage. "Thanks," he whispered.

They all had indoor destinations, which left them walking up the stairs together. Harry had just turned to shake hands with the Minister and wish him a pleasant visit when he heard Hermione call his name. 

"There you are! Ron and I talked to Lupin and we've been looking all over--" she stopped abruptly as she recognized Fudge. "Oh!" Her hand flew to her mouth. "I'm sorry, Minister. I hadn't realized--"

"Quite all right, my dear," Fudge said. He turned questioningly to the boys. "Harry?"

Harry realized that he was expected to introduce this girl who had run up to him. Furthermore, although Fudge might not like Draco's choice of words, Harry had no doubt the Minister favored purebloods of old houses. He smiled politely. 

"Minister, this is Hermione Granger, one of my first friends in Gryffindor." He decided not to mention that she was his girlfriend, or to point out that she and Fudge had met before -- reminding Fudge of the night of Sirius Black's escape seemed like a bad idea. If Fudge started putting down Sirius, Harry knew he would yell back something inappropriately honest. 

"Granger, is it?" Fudge looked her over as he shook her hand. "The Australian line?"

Hermione's face tightened. With a courtesy Harry recognized as dangerous, she said, "No sir. British. My parents are Muggles." 

Harry shot Hermione a warning look and she glared back at him for a moment before returning her attention to Fudge. "A pleasure to meet you Minister. Now, I'm afraid I need to get back to my studies." 

Fudge stared at her departing back. "Odd girl. A bit moody, is she?"

Although Harry would normally have agreed with that assessment of Hermione, a strange guilt at his complicity kept him silent. Draco had no such compunctions. 

"Astoundingly. Hits pretty hard, too." He gave Harry a disarming grin, then nodded politely at Fudge. "Thank you for the lovely lunch, Minister. I look forward to seeing you again." He took on a deliberately cocky stance. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I am expected at my victory party."

"Have fun." Harry managed to make the words light. Draco left. Harry said a polite goodbye to the Minister, took his brochures, and went off to look for Hermione.

 

He didn't find her, or Ron. Since he didn't want anybody figuring out why he looked a bit odd, he refrained from asking around Gryffindor, or walking in places with too many people. Instead, he went and studied up in the dormitory, thinking, as often before, that social problems were doing wonders for his marks, this year. He thought of Remus (" _that creature,_ " Fudge's voice echoed in his mind), hiding in the library for summer term of his sixth year. He felt a wave of distaste at the things he had accepted Fudge saying. 

"I accomplished exactly what I intended to," he said aloud. It was true. It didn't make him feel any less lousy, and he didn't like his tone of voice, either. _I wonder if Slytherins feel like this a lot, or if they just don't care. I wonder if Percy feels like this._ He remembered the gleam in Percy's eyes as he'd taken notes at Dumbledore's "confession" the year before. _No, he doesn't. Right then. Feeling guilty is a good sign. At least I know I'm being a heel._ He decided he should apologize to Hermione as soon as he saw her -- unless that was at dinner, with Fudge still watching. _And won't she be thrilled if I'm avoiding her at dinner!_

Harry considered the problem. He needed to discuss strategy with the Quidditch team. If they did that at dinner, there wouldn't be a free seat near him, and Hermione wouldn't want to sit with them anyway, thus avoiding the entire issue. Cheerily, he went back to the common room to ask Iggy to pass on a message. 

 


	68. Contracts

 

Dinner went even better than Harry had hoped. The Gryffindor Quidditch team gathered and discussed strategy. Hermione did not appear. No one seemed at all offended that Harry admired Draco Malfoy's stunning catch, though Ron did tell him he ought to keep up with Quidditch news more -- the rest of them had all seen the move from news photographs. 

Better yet, towards the end of dinner, Fudge got an owl and left. Harry hoped he had actually gone back to the Ministry, rather than just to a borrowed office in the school. 

He had just finished his pudding when McGonagall showed up across the table. 

"Mr. Potter." 

She did not look pleased. Suddenly, her reactions to Harry during the game seemed much less amusing. "Professor?" he managed. Something on his cheek tickled. He tensed as he resisted the urge to rub it.

"The headmaster requires your presence in his office," McGonagall said sharply. "His reasons are unspecified. Come along." Harry stumbled up and hurried after his head of house. She had not waited, and he lagged behind her across the room. Near the end of the Gryffindor table, he passed Hermione. She glared at him. Harry tried to look apologetic, but dared not pause. He caught up with McGonagall just outside the door from the Great Hall. 

"Professor?"

She nodded a curt acknowledgement, but did not reply. 

"I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"I am not always privy to the headmaster's motivations, Potter." 

"Oh." 

They went up a flight of stairs in tense silence. On the second landing, McGonagall finally spoke. "Today's game...." She pursed her lips. "How long have you been 'friends' with Malfoy, Potter?"

"About four weeks." Harry tried to sound agreeable. "He's improved a lot, really, with his father gone."

"In prison!" 

"Well, yes. That helps, I think." Harry dared an unprompted addition. "We were playing it up a bit. Because Fudge wants to move me, and Malfoy's the sort he would like me to be friends with, and Malfoy, with me, seems less dangerous -- more moderate." 

McGonagall paused to fix him with a look of decided distaste. "How ... Slytherin." 

Harry shrugged. "Would you rather have me taken away?"

McGonagall studied him for a moment before turning and resuming their climb. "I might, Mr. Potter." 

Harry followed in shocked silence. His head of house did not resume the conversation. At the headmaster's office, she knocked on the inner door, though Dumbledore had still been at the staff table when they left the Great Hall. She jumped when Bill Weasley opened it. 

"Oh, there you are Harry!" 

Beyond Bill, Harry caught a glimpse of Remus Lupin. Remus looked away, turned his back to them, and walked through the connecting door to the conference room. Harry wrenched his attention back to Bill. 

"You don't need to stay, Professor," he was saying to McGonagall. "Was my mum and I wanted to see him. Professor Dumbledore said he'd be back in a bit." 

McGonagall's expression softened slightly, and she nodded. "Well, then." She looked awkwardly at Harry. "You behave yourself, now, Mr. Potter." 

"Lesson of the day," Harry said ruefully. He smiled at her. "Of course, professor." 

As soon as she had departed, Bill led Harry to the conference room. Harry paused cautiously before entering. The series of doorways was making him feel more and more removed from his schoolmates. Bright candlelight glinted off multiple heads of red hair -- again, all the Weasleys in the Order were present. Remus had retreated to the far corner. He stood beside a dark window, his tight stance defying anyone to approach. Mrs. Weasley was speaking to Severus, who turned. A familiar, contemptuous look swept Harry up and down. Harry froze. Had he done something else wrong?

"Come here."

Slowly, Harry approached, stopping a few steps short of his father. Severus closed the distance. Deliberately, he lifted a hand, and Harry felt the hard, blunt edge of a fingernail trace a deep line down the side of his face. 

"Aa!" 

Harry cried out in surprise as the mask split and shrank back. It contracted, uncovering a strip of his face, but on the rest, it felt even more like bubblegum than it had while being applied. Harry grabbed at the edge of the larger piece and peeled it clear. "Yeuch!" His uncovered skin felt strange -- as if were still tacky from the mask. 

"Here, let me help," Bill said kindly. He stepped forward and took the mask -- now a torn piece of crumpled photograph -- from Harry's hand. He rubbed a few stray pieces of mask off the edges of Harry's face, then followed it up with a cleaning spell. Harry still felt sticky. 

"Maybe it's terribly Muggle of me, but I'd feel better if I could wash."

Severus snorted. "Not Muggle at all. The spell makes you clean, but just as a nutritive potion is not the same as having eaten, being clean is not the same as having washed."

"Can't see that you'd know," one of the twins muttered, not quite quietly enough. There was a shocked silence. 

"Fred!" Mrs. Weasley chided. Her voice squeaked. 

Harry laughed out loud. It was partially at Fred's comment, but even more at the looks of horror and alarm on the others' faces -- only Remus, behind Severus, had dared smile. He choked it back and checked Severus's reaction. From the way his father's near cheek was twitching, Harry suspected he was just as amused. 

"For your information," Harry said loftily to Fred, "I _have_ actually seen him cleaned up. And for someone who hates to wash his hair, he takes over the bath for entirely unreasonable periods of time." 

Severus glared. "I _think_ well in the bath." 

Harry shot Fred a conspiratorial look. "And what that means," he said, "is that he gets inspired, throws his dirty robes back on, and rushes out, still dripping, to the lab, to come back hours later, in a worse state than when he got in the tub."

"But I know I washed," Severus said placidly, and this time Bill was bold enough to join Harry in laughing. 

"You are impossible, you know." Harry kept his tone light as he gave his father a sidelong glance. "If I took such horrible care of myself, you'd glare daggers, then give me detention for breathing." 

"Perhaps I should give you detention for not washing your hair." Severus smirked. "Then I can take points from everyone who can't keep a straight face -- all the Gryffindors, anyway." 

He pushed his hair back automatically as he spoke. It really was exceptionally awful, today, hanging in thick clumps. The greasiness had trapped enough grime to go dull. Harry suspected Severus had been determined not to clean himself up for the Weasleys. He raised his eyebrows. 

Severus, to Harry's surprise, looked down. "It would be inadvisable to change any aspect of my behavior at this time," he said quietly.

Harry nodded. "All right. But you _are_ a bit over the top, today." 

"I've been busy."

Harry ignored the brief snarl that ended the protest. "Of course." He glanced over at Remus and they shared a smile for a moment before Remus remembered that he was angry and turned away. 

Harry scanned the room. Mrs. Weasley and Bill looked pleased. Mr. Weasley was studying Severus as if he were a previously unknown type of plug. The twins were looking at each other, in what Harry suspected was a private conversation of sorts, and Charlie was staring at the palms of his hands, first one, than the other, as if they had suddenly become the most fascinating objects in the room. 

Harry was saved from further conversation by the headmaster's arrival. Dumbledore entered without greetings and walked straight to the head of the table. The candles and grate flared up as he arrived, brightening the room.

"Everyone stand back, please. By the wall." All those present quickly complied, and a wave from Dumbledore changed the long table to a smaller, concave round one, and the roomy chairs to stools that fit more closely around the edge. 

"Better for viewing." Dumbledore selected a stool and perched himself up on it. "Now, everyone should take a seat -- that includes you, Remus." 

Harry found himself between Severus and Charlie. While those assembled settled onto stools, Dumbledore levitated his pensieve to the depressed center of the table. At least, Harry thought it was the bowl of his pensieve, but rather than being filled with a shining silver mass, it was now filled with a liquid that seemed, somehow, more brilliantly clear than water, as if it were solidified light, or melted diamonds. The bowl filled the room with the scent of melting snow.

"As you all know, Harry's custody confirmation hearing is on the first of November. We plan to produce Severus at that time. Severus has graciously permitted me to show all of you the Herem contract to help us prepare for that hearing." Dumbledore scanned once around the room. "I am certain I need not remind you that everything you see here is confidential." 

"Of course," Charlie said readily.

"Agreed," Bill volunteered, while his mother nodded pleasantly. 

Mr. Weasley looked curiously at Severus. "As always, Dumbledore. Let's get on with it." 

Dumbledore nodded. He pulled out a pouch, and from that, he took a gold griffin. He held it up, and Harry could see it was a brooch. Holding the griffin carefully by one leg, Dumbledore lowered it gently into the bowl. When it was half submerged, he let it go. Although the liquid did not seem at all viscous, the griffin sank slowly, and the clear substance swirled, first with gold, then gold shot with sparkles of red and green, then, through that, dark streaks of brown and black, as it were a scene spinning behind dirty glass or heavy rain. It made Harry feel as if he were on a fast carnival ride, trying to look out at the world. Harry leaned forward, noticing as he did so that everyone else was doing the same. 

"Join hands," Dumbledore ordered, and Harry found his hands grasped, one by his father, and one by Charlie. The shapes of the two hands were quite different, but both were calloused and scarred. Both made him feel safe. He held on tightly as the colors in the bowl began to take shape. 

 

They were in a cozy parlor with a small fire in the grate. The world outside the windows was dark. A young Severus, his hair longer and cleaner and his face oddly unlined, was facing James Potter, who looked just like the pictures in Harry's photo album, and would never get to grow older. A warm breeze wafted the scent of flowers in the open window. Harry had the vague impression that the other observers from Dumbledore's office were there as well, ringed about the pair, but they seemed too unimportant to bring into focus. His two fathers commanded all his attention.

"All right," James said. "Your line first, I think."

Severus nodded. He looked very young, and almost frightened. "The time has come for me to go to battle," he said. A hardness descended on his face, destroying the image of youth. "I am my father's only son, and death may take me childless." He took a deep breath. "I come to ask if I may have your wife, Lily, for Herem, that she might bear me an heir should I die childless in war."

"Do you have no wife of your own?"

"I have no wife of my own."

"To the best of your knowledge, is my Lily suitable to bear you an heir?"

Severus's breath caught. "Lily is suitable to bear me an heir."

 James closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, his formerly solemn face had acquired a touch of amusement. "Do you understand that Lily has yet borne no children, and once miscarried?"

"Yes, I understand that."

"Do you understand that Lily is of Muggle parentage?"

Severus face tightened as if he had bitten a lime. "I _am_ aware of that, yes," he hissed.

"Look, I don't like it any more than you do!" James exploded. "Less, I expect. But it is one of the things I am _required_ to disclose for this contract to be binding. I looked them up -- certain inheritable diseases, madness, fertility or birth problems, and Muggle, Crimean, or Spanish ancestry." 

"Fine, fine -- I acknowledge she has Muggle ancestry. Get _on_ with it, Potter."

James looked coolly at him. "As a supplicant, Severus, I would advise you to be more courteous." 

Angry spots of red burned under Severus's dark eyes. "I understand," he said tonelessly.

"You understand, _what?_ " James persisted. 

"Whatever you like."

James stared imperiously, and Severus gave way. "James," he whispered. 

"That's better." James was immediately restored to good humor by the use of his name. If he noticed that Severus was now shaking, he did not seem to mind. "Anyway, she's fine on all the others." He cleared his throat. "So, in return for my wife to bear you an heir, what will you give me?"

"Give you?" Severus looked startled. 

"It is traditional that you offer me something in payment."

"James! You know perfectly well I have nothing you want! We discussed --"

"Hunh." James looked amused. "I had thought of asking for your forgiveness, but I'm not convinced you're capable of it. It would be a pity to have you default accidentally."

Severus clenched his jaw. He forced out, "So, what do you suggest?"

"How about this: If, by some chance, you live and I do not, you are bound to protect any child of mine to the best of your abilities."

"Agreed."

"Say it."

"If you die with issue, I swear I will protect any and all of your children to the best of my abilities." 

"Even against your friends."

"Against anyone, regardless of my allegiances at that time. Is that good enough for you?"

"Yes. I accept." The satisfied smile that had been playing at James's full lips became suddenly much more sincere, and his voice grew warmer. "And I swear, should Lily bear you an heir from this rite, I will raise it well and kindly, and hold it, in all things, equal to the children of my body."

Severus nodded. He seemed to shrink slightly as he relaxed. "And it is my will that any child of this rite be raised as my heir, not by my family, but by Lily Evans Potter, with you, James Potter, her chosen husband. None of my kin shall have any right to the child." 

With a further softening of his face, James reached out a hand. "As we agreed." They shook hands formally. "Lily?" he called. 

There was a moment of uneasy silence, then Lily walked in. James frowned at her. "Aren't you supposed to be veiled?"

She shot him an irritated look. "I am also supposed to have fidelity spells on me, which you lift for the night. Honestly, I think it's all ridiculous." She smiled at Severus, and Harry suddenly realized that she was trembling. "Hello, Severus."

"Oh, honestly!" James protested in exasperation. "The both of you, over here!" James pulled the two towards each other and shoved their hands together. Their fingers tangled awkwardly, and James pointed his wand. A strand of red shot from it, briefly bound their wrists together, then sank into their skin, leaving them unbound, but each marked, as if with a tight rope, recently removed. James pulled a small knife from his pocket, and drew it awkwardly from its sheath. The crosspiece caught on the binding, and a knowing smile flickered across Severus's face at the sign of unfamiliarity. 

"Here," James said, extending the knife hilt to Severus. He seemed to return to formula. "I give you my knife for the taking of blood, and my wife for the holding of seed. Treat both well and return them unharmed."

Severus said evenly, "Even better than if they were my own, I will treat them." He took the knife. That apparently completed the contract, for James was instantly cheery and mischievous. 

"All right then. I'm off to join Sirius for a pint or seven at the Wand and Cup -- and no, I won't tell him what's up here." He went to the door, then paused. "Oh -- Sev?"

Severus did not take his eyes from Lily. Both were blushing deeply. "Yes?"

"She has my permission to enjoy it. Don't think you need to be grim." With a final wink and flash of teeth, he left the room. 

Shaking, Lily turned away from Severus.

"Lily?" he asked, suddenly frightened and young, again. Harry had never seen him look so plainly for reassurance. "You do --"

" _Please_ pull that thing out before this goes any further. He'd be quite amused if we forgot, and --" 

Severus lunged towards a small table, then froze beside it. Delicately, he lifted a gold hook from the tabletop and lowered it into the liquid in a pensieve-like bowl. 

 

A sudden image of the griffin brooch filled Harry's vision, then he seemed to be in its place, rising twisting up through displaced liquid. With a wrench, summer night, gold griffon, and all tore away, discarding him in the headmaster's conference room. His left hand was gripped painfully tight. Harry fought through his disorientation and focused on his father's lined face, as blood-darkened here as it had been before James. 

He turned away. "What an arse!" he exclaimed.

"Harry," Dumbledore warned. Mrs. Weasley looked shocked, and Remus withdrawn. Everyone else appeared too embarrassed to display any other emotion. There was a general releasing of hands. Harry, caught in a disorienting rush of indignation and embarrassment and relief, tried to soften his outburst.

"No, look, I know he loved me, and I know he was a great man in many ways, and I've met his spirit a few times, all of them wonderful, and I suppose I love him ... but really!" _It would be a pity to have you default accidentally._ Anger toppled his intent. "I've seen Slytherins be more gracious over holding power."

"Really," Severus remarked dryly.

Harry heated. He hadn't meant to be offensive, just.... "I suppose it's somewhat of a double-standard, but --" Desperate to find an alternative to explaining that he did not _expect_ Slytherins to behave civilly, he leaned forward and reached for the golden griffin. "Anyway, I suppose we're --"

He had just registered the varied shouts, all variations on "no!" when his fingertips broke the surface of the pensieve's clear liquid. It pulled at him like bog mud. A hand seized his shoulder, and at least one more his wrist, but the pensieve's pull was stronger. He was sucked deep and far into a pool of brilliant green -- not the lurid, decay green of the killing curse, but the clear, life green of a forest roof before the sun. It even smelled like summer --like warm, contented leaves. He could not remember how he had come to be here. He saw a strip of gold and propelled himself forward to seize it. 

 

A pretty, red-haired woman smiled sweetly at him. She was standing in a kitchen with white walls and yellow curtains. Sunlight streamed in the window behind her. 

"Mum?"

"Severus. I hope you will think to look here."

"No, Mum, it's me!" Harry moved forward, then realized Lily could not see him. Her attention remained fixed on the same point ahead of her. No one was there. Harry tried to think. Was he a ghost? No, he remembered, _she_ was. He had had an accident with a pensieve. 

"It was the only logical place, of course." She glanced to the side, and James, whom Harry had somehow missed before, stepped forward to join her. He put an arm around her in a gesture that was both loving and possessive, then he, too, glanced to the side. Harry heard faint baby giggles and followed their gaze to cluttered section of the adjoining room, where a dark-haired baby was sitting on the floor and chewing happily on the ear of a stuffed dog. He felt dizzy. 

Lily's voice recalled his attention to the couple. 

"I, Lily Potter, née Evans...."

"and I, James Potter,"

"declare this, our will."

James took over. "Barring the birth of other children, Harry James Potter, the son of my wife's body and of my will, shall be my sole heir. Should Lily have other children by me in the future, or if, by her will, I father children on another woman, he shall be treated as equal to the children of my body in the division of my worldly goods." He looked nervously towards his wife. "Lily?"

"At this time, the First of May, 1981, Harry James Potter, is the only child of my body, and I expect no others. I declare him my sole heir. Should I, in the future, bear other children, he shall be treated as equal to all other the children of my body in the division of my worldly goods."

James took over again. "I know that Harry James Potter was conceived by Severus Snape upon my wife, Lily. This happened with my knowledge, consent, and cooperation, and I acknowledge Harry, regardless, as my son and of my line, in all ways possible without the blessing of blood. I swear this before the sun and stars, before hearth and threshold, before knife and plow, before water and blood." He drew his wand, and there was a wail as a startled baby flew through the air into James's arms. Lily, with an exasperated sigh, drew her wand and summoned the stuffed dog.

"There you go, love," she soothed.

The wailing stopped. The baby took the dog and promptly returned to chewing on its ear. He left off briefly to gurgle happily when James tossed him aloft. The smile on James's face could have lit the whole room. 

"And here's the little bugger! For all that helps -- looks just like a baby, and a baby under a Paternity Charm, besides." He grinned at his wife. 

"Yes," she said dryly. "That one. Our sole heir. Don't drop him." 

James nuzzled the baby's tummy. "You're awfully little to be a sole heir. Think you're up to it?" The baby gurgled and grabbed at his glasses. 

"Ouch. Well, yes." With difficulty, James extricated his glasses from the baby's grasp. "A tactical genius already. Lily, are we finished?"

"You haven't done the part for Severus."

"Oh, right." James faced forward, then glanced back at Lily. "It won't happen, you know. He'll die before we do."

"Do it anyway -- just in case."

James nodded sadly. "All right. This --" he lifted the baby -- "is the child of Severus Snape. By Herem contract, ritual, and tradition, he should be Snape's son." He hesitated. "I confess that we concealed him, in fear for his life. In no measure shall any acceptance of this child by Severus Snape or any of his kin alter the boy's position as my heir." He looked at Lily. "That should do it."

"Thank you."

"I hate to even think about it," James confessed. "I feel so horrid. I have everything he wants, but I took this, too." James held the baby close until it squirmed for freedom. He kissed it softly, and his face grew hard. "And I _will_ not give him up." 

"James?"

"We've discussed it!"

"We're still recording this."

"Oh." James looked embarrassed. He pointed his wand and Harry lurched backward. The green was back, deeper now, and it rolled him in tumbling chaos like a fearsome wave. People were shouting. His head felt split by pain. A thought that this pain _meant_ something flickered past and was swept away before he could seize it. His body was spots of agony -- head, wrists, a section of ribs -- that did not seem to be connected. Everything exploded into white, and _stopped._

 


	69. Levels

 

Slowly, Harry became aware that a soft, full darkness had replaced the empty light. He was sore in a number of places -- most strongly, his wrist -- but his head didn't feel bad any more. He tried to remember where he had been. "Mum?"

There was a soft susurrance of shifting fabric to his left. "Harry, your mother died almost fifteen years ago."

_Dad!_ Harry thought, relieved. He started to say that, then stopped himself. He was certain there was a good reason not to. 

It occurred to him that this might be easier if he opened his eyes. He tried. It didn't seem to work. 

"M'eyes...."

"Madam Pomfrey has spelled them shut, so that they may recover from the contradictory stimulation. She does not expect any permanent damage."

Harry felt around frantically. His right hand wouldn't move, but his left encountered flesh. He yanked his hand back, then slowly returned to the spot. He touched the skin tentatively, and decided the ridges were fingers. His guess was confirmed when the hand shifted and wrapped around his own. 

"That you?" Harry asked tremulously.

"Yes. This is me." The hand squeezed his. 

"You're my dad, right?"

"Oh, hell!" muttered the voice. Harry flinched. "Yes, yes," the voice went on. The speaker seemed to be attempting to sound soothing, but was clearly agitated. "Yes, Harry. I'm your dad. Do you know where you are?"

"Of course not. I can't see."

"Do you know where you were?"

It seemed as if the answer to this should also be "of course," but somehow it wasn't. Harry couldn't quite remember where he had been. There had been yellow curtains. 

"Mum was there, but she thought I was you," he said. He heard a sharp intake of breath. "No, that's wrong. She was talking to you, but she didn't see me. Because she's dead? Why would that keep her from seeing me?"

"You saw a memory that your mother left," the voice said carefully. "You were not in her time; that is why she could not see you."

Severus had a wonderful voice, Harry thought. It could go very deep and was richly expressive -- He seized the thought. "You're Severus." 

The hand clenched about his. There was a long silence. Harry was afraid he had made a mistake, while certain he had not. "Yes," the voice said curtly. 

The flat tone was not reassuring. Harry gripped the hand tightly. "You'll take care of me?"

Again, a catch of breath. A second hand stroked the hair back from his forehead, leaving traces of a harsh, but comforting, scent. 

"Dear child. Yes, I'll take care of you." 

"You smell nice."

"What?" The voice was incredulous. Harry pulled their linked hands to his face and sniffed at them. His nose wrinkled involuntarily. "Well, not nice," he admitted, even as a flood of happiness washed over him. He remembered lying in the dark, holding very still. "But ... right." 

There was a pause, and then several quick sniffs. "I seem to smell mostly of dragon's blood."

"Mm." Harry tried to explain. "There's almost a memory there. A happy one, I think, though it's scary, too." He stopped, then dared the inevitable question. "Will I remember? I think I ought to remember."

The hand squeezed his again. "Pomfrey -- the medi-witch who is watching you -- says it is likely."

"Soon?"

"Possibly the next time you wake, or the one after that." A pause. "If not, we will need to get you more specialized help." Another squeeze. "But you _are_ remembering -- I think you will be fine." 

 

The second time Harry woke, his eyes opened. The light was pale -- perhaps it was early morning -- and Hermione was reading in the chair beside his bed. He tried to say her name, but all that came out was a dry croak. 

"Harry!" The book was abandoned at the side of the chair, and Hermione moved to the bed and embraced him. Worried brown eyes studied him as she pulled back. "How are you? Do you know who you are? Do you know who I am? Do --"

"Water." 

"Oh -- of course!" She took a glass from the table and helped him to sit. Harry, from long experience waking up in the Hospital Wing, drank in little sips, allowing each to coat his mouth before he swallowed. He started to feel better. 

"I'm Harry. You're Hermione, and you're my girlfriend, though I hid that from Fudge, because he's an arsehole -- sorry -- and...." Harry trailed off, remembering that he had woken before. "Oh, fuck." 

" _Harry,_ " Hermione reprimanded. 

"I had another visitor. I couldn't remember much, then." Harry remembered his own voice, _you're my dad, right?_ and Severus swearing. He heated. 

Hermione giggled. "A visitor in the middle of the night, perhaps? People have been very worried about you."

"What happened?"

"No one will tell me." She looked annoyed. "Honestly, Harry -- you were at a meeting with Dumbledore! How on earth can you go to a meeting in the headmaster's office and end up in the Hospital Wing?"

"Er ... innate talent?"

She laughed. "I suppose." She pointed to the far side of the bed. "The worst damage is to your hand -- well, it's the worst now that your mind seems to be working."

Harry looked. His right hand was bound to the bedrail. What he could see of it seemed to be made of clear glass. 

"Shit!"

"Harry! _Will_ you mind your language!" 

"It's ... it's...."

"Madame Pomfrey says it will change back. As long as you don't shatter it in the meantime, it should be fine. You stuck it in some sort of potion, I gather."

"Oh." Harry remembered his hand getting sucked into the clear liquid in the pensieve. "Right." 

"Really, Harry! You should know better than that."

Harry blinked at the ceiling. The little baby -- him! -- was chewing on the ear of the stuffed dog. James tossed him into the air.... "Yeah."

They managed a few more sentences before Harry fell back to sleep.

 

The third time Harry woke, Hermione was still there. 

"Hermione?"

"Hi." Hermione looked up. She held up the book. It was the one about the Iranian refugee witch. "Doesn't it _bother_ you the way she's smarter than the rest of her family put together?"

Harry blinked. "She's the heroine."

"I think it's that she's a witch. The author portrays all the Muggles as idiots."

Harry hadn't felt that way about the book at all. "I think it's just that she's the main character, that's all."

"It has a progressive message, but it's really just shoring up prejudices!" Hermione glared at him. "Maybe you should let someone else choose your books, Harry."

Harry felt a surge of annoyance. "And if I only read things you approve of, what would I learn? The prejudices are the _point_ , Hermione! I need to learn what plays into them, what derails them. You should do this too!"

"So I can be a nice little assimilationist drone, too?"

"You don't need to go along with it." Harry realized he was trembling. "This is knowledge, Hermione. Don't you want that?"

He saw her bite back an angry reply. "This isn't the time," she said. "You're convalescing."

"Oh, don't patronize me!" He glared at her. "You don't like anything you can't control. You're worse than Malfoy."

"You--!" Hermione was turning very red. Before Harry could decide whether to apologize or press on, they were interrupted. 

"Harry! Hey, I heard you were awake. Don't be angry at me -- I was at practice." 

It was Ron. He hurried up to the bedside and grinned at Harry. He took in Hermione's tension with a glance, and plowed on as if he hadn't noticed. "When are you getting out? Lupin told us the part we'd been missing -- a spell that makes the fumes follow the ground. Covers it like a sheet. Did Hermione tell you?" He leaned forward to whisper. "He's very keen on us finishing key portions of the grounds." 

"Um... That's great." Harry looked past Ron at Hermione, who seemed to be thinking hard. "I don't know when I'm getting out. I haven't spoken to Madame Pomfrey, yet." 

Hermione wrinkled her nose. "Yes, you have! You talked for a few minutes, this morning."

"We did?"

"Yes." She bit her lip. "You don't remember?"

He shook his head. A moment later, Hermione was calling for Madame Pomfrey, all anger forgotten in concern. The mediwitch listened, then assured Harry that the memory lapses were completely normal.

"You certainly could have lost mental function," she scolded, "but from the way you are talking, it's clear that you did not. A few blank spots are to be expected the first day. I expect you'll be fine for Monday lessons." 

"Do I need to stay here until then?" 

She gestured to the hand. "We'll see how that hand looks after lunch, Mr. Potter." 

 

The hand, to Harry's relief, looked fine after lunch, except for the fingernails, which still glittered in light as if they had been carved from diamonds. His ring, oddly, looked completely normal. Pomfrey assured him the effect would wear off in a day or two. She gave him orders to inform her if he had any further memory lapses, then left him alone to get dressed. 

 

Harry was tapping the metal bedframe with the back of one crystal nail, producing light, ringing pings of sound and odd vibrations through his finger, when Ron and Hermione showed up, a few minutes later. 

"I can go." He stuck his hand into his pocket as he stood. "Let's start."

 

Ron and Hermione and Harry went up to Gryffindor to get the incomplete map from Harry's locked trunk, and mapping supplies, including fresh potion, from Hermione's room. Then they went down to the one-eyed witch and mapped the tunnel to Honeydukes, where the proximity to sweets overcame morals to the extent that they snitched three large chocolate bars and some Fizzing Whizbees and left a galleon of Harry's in generous payment. Even Hermione gave in when the rich scent of chocolate was heavy in the tunnel.

"I knew you'd want one," Harry said, handing her the third bar.

"You two are a terrible influence on me, you know," Hermione complained, breaking a modest piece off the huge bar. "I'm not supposed to eat sweets between meals." Her eyes closed in pleasure when she put the chocolate in her mouth. 

When they got back, they began to explore the tunnels that Fred and George had warned Harry not to use when they had first given him the Marauder's Map. First they tried the secret tunnel behind the mirror on the fourth floor. It was an easier entrance than the one behind the one-eyed witch -- flat and dry -- and they walked down the passageway for about ten minutes before finding the cave-in reported by Fred and George. It was still completely blocking the tunnel. Harry was pretty sure that none of Voldemort's forces would enter the school that way. 

Next, they began hunting for the tunnels that Filch was reputed to know about and monitor. These they mapped more cautiously, with one person standing guard at the entrance while the others worked inside. The first one of these went all the way to the Hogsmeade and took over an hour for Ron and Hermione to map, but the second was caved in below the castle and Harry and Hermione finished the accessible part in five minutes. 

The third had its entrance in the dungeons. Harry, who knew more convenient side corridors and empty rooms in that territory than the others, led the way and got them to the entrance unseen. While known, it did not seem to be unused -- a wide section a minute from the entrance was littered with wrappers from sweets, empty vials, and, to Harry's amusement, a few cigar ends. 

"Ugh!" Ron said, making a face. "Slytherins are such pigs!"

"Hey now," Harry chided. "It could be Hufflepuffs." 

Ron stared at him incredulously for a minute. Eventually, he seemed to come to the conclusion that Harry was joking. "Yeah," he said, rolling his eyes. "Right." 

The tunnel ended up near the edge of the Forbidden Forest, out of sight of Hagrid's hut and all but the tallest towers of the castle. The only useful aspect of the site seemed to be its remoteness. Harry hunted around a bit and found a seldom-used track into the forest itself. The afternoon sky was overcast and growing dark. Even Harry was not tempted to follow the trail in.

 

When they got back, Hermione was pale. "I was nearly caught four times!" she hissed. "Do you realize how long you were gone?"

"Sorry." Harry nudged up against her. "We found the Slytherin party spot." 

With an exasperated sigh, she turned her back on him. Impulsively, he caught at her from behind, setting his hands on her hips. She grabbed for his hand to push it away, but he grasped hers back, and she froze. 

"Thought you said it was Hufflepuffs."

"Nah." Harry brought Hermione's hand back in front of her to pull her back against him as he replied to Ron. She giggled and twisted away. "We know that all the trouble in this school is caused by Slytherins and Gryffindors."

"What an timely observation, Potter," hissed a cool voice. Ron went rigid. Harry turned slowly. Professor Snape -- and he was very much Professor Snape, at the moment -- was surveying them with a hunter's triumphant glee. Harry was very conscious of Hermione's hand in his own. He held it firmly, although that brought his arm almost entirely around her waist. 

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Tell me, Potter, what trouble are you Gryffindors causing now?"

"Why, none sir. We were just walking." 

Snape's eyebrows went up. "In the dungeons?" His voice went dangerously low as he stepped closer. Hermione edged closer to Harry as he sniffed the air close to them. Harry was reminded of last night's exchange about dragon's blood and had to bite back a smile. 

"And such an unusual odor about you. If I didn't know were incapable of it, I'd say you had been brewing potions."

Harry couldn't restrain a snort of laughter at that.

"Is that amusing, Potter?'

Harry grinned. "Incapable, hell! Her and me?"

Severus, who now had his back to the main corridor, smiled. "Insolent brat." The insult came out sounding rather affectionate, and he winced. Rather more sharply, he said, "Hand over that flask, Miss Granger."

"It's not your concern." Hermione let go of Harry's hand to shift her grip on the flask.

"That is not for you to judge." The Potions master's lips tightened. After a second, he nodded slightly. "The three of you will come with me. Now. And if that flask is dropped on the way, you will be punished according to my worst expectations of what it might have contained." 

He whirled (six inches clearance at most, Harry thought hopefully) and strode off down the corridor. They had to hurry to catch up. 

 

In Severus's office, he closed the door, but did not ward it. He settled behind his desk, black eyes flicking coldly over each of them in turn. 

"The flask," he said. "And empty your pockets."

Hermione and Ron looked nervously at Harry, who shrugged slightly and started emptying his pockets. He put a rag ball had made as a ferret toy, matches, and two galleons readily on the table. He winced slightly as he took out half a chocolate bar and the Fizzing Whizbees. He covered it by putting the map down with a bit of a flourish. His wand he kept in his hand. 

"Sweets, Potter?" Severus's mouth twitched. 

"I'm a growing boy, you know."

Severus choked, covered his smile with one hand while he recovered, and then cast silencing spells at the door and the grate. His stance relaxed slightly, and he gestured to the others. "You too. Everything. And do hand over that flask, Granger." 

Snape went for the flask before anything else was added to the table. He checked its odor, then poured some out into a tapered beaker to check color and viscosity. 

"It's perfectly harmless," Hermione said sharply. 

"Hm." Severus sat back and studied the beaker. He lifted it critically, like an untasted glass of wine. He put it down again and looked over it at each of them in turn, stopping at Harry. "So why, exactly, do you need an activator potion?" He seized the pouch of mugwort from Hermione's pile and pulled out a pinch of broken dried leaves. "The catalyst?"

Harry nodded. He wished Severus would just trust him. Severus crushed the pinch of mugwort, sniffed it appraising, then sat back. "Tell me what you were doing."

Harry, to Ron's visibly growing dismay, did. He revealed everything, including a reminder that both Severus and Remus had recommended monitoring these approaches to the castle. "And when you and Professor Lupin are of the same opinion, sir, it's generally a good idea to consider it."

He hoped that would close the matter, but his father looked no less disapproving. He scowled, checked the map, and handed it back -- not to Harry, but to Hermione. "Very well. Pick up your refuse and go." 

When Harry moved to reclaim his things, Severus caught at his wrist. For a moment he stared at the crystal nails. He ran the tip of one of his own yellow nails down one. "Except you." He raised his eyebrows. "Unless you would prefer the lecture in their presence?"

Harry heated. "No, sir." He was humiliated at being treated this way in front of his friends, and the resentment came through in his voice. Severus jerked at his wrist. 

"Don't look put upon! You could have lost your memory permanently. You could have lost your ability to think. You could have spent the _rest_ of your _life_ in St. Mungo's! I don't _care_ if you were raised by Muggles, you know better than to go reaching into a potion you DON'T KNOW A THING ABOUT!"

"I'm sorry ... I ... I wasn't thinking --"

"I know _that!_ " Severus made a dismissive gesture at Ron and Hermione. "You -- out! Now." 

Harry's friends scrambled out of the door, still clutching the things from their pockets. When they were gone, Severus recast the wards. "Harry...."

"Do you have to treat me that way in front of them? 

"If you are that stupid, yes!"

"I'm trying to get them to believe you're usually nice to me --"

"That is not my concern." 

"Look, I said I'm sorry, all right?"

"I don't want to hear that you're sorry! I want you to not do it again!"

"I won't. I'll remember."

"Will you."

"Promise."

Severus sighed and rested his forehead on his palms. "Harry ... that was terrifying. Touching the potion while it was active would have been dangerous enough, but you disrupted a completed memory record with another one. It could have destroyed your mind -- and both records -- Dumbledore believes that both survived only because they were so closely linked -- the same people, at close to the same time, about related subjects."

"Did you check?"

" _After_ Pomfrey had said she thought you'd be sane, yes."

"How would she tell?"

"I've no idea. She directed three different spells at your head and looked more cheerful with each one." Severus let out a breath and sat back. He seemed more tired than angry, now. 

Harry held out his hand. The crystal nails glittered. The effect was rather odd on stubby, unkempt nails. Every smear of dirt beneath them showed. He looked at the softer gleam of the emerald. "It was the will, right? In the ring."

"Yes. She apparently thought I would look there. In hindsight, it makes sense." Severus frowned. "Will you come to the lab with me? I have a potion simmering."

"Why?"

Severus gritted his teeth. "I need to hear you talk. Just to ... to get it into my head that dumb luck pulled you through again."

_I must have been frightening to listen to, last night,_ Harry thought. He remembered Severus, very tender then, reassuring him and stroking the hair back from his eyes. He was sure Severus believed he had forgotten the conversation. For a moment he glowed with the awareness of being loved, but the feeling was almost instantly spoilt by the conviction that that Severus would never show him such affection when he was clearly conscious of it.

"Okay," he said. "Till dinner." 

 

Severus, it turned out, had a secret passage of his own that dipped below floor level and crossed under several corridors to come up in the back of his private lab. 

"Brill!" Harry said approvingly. After Severus had set to work, though, Harry's resentment came back. He wondered if Ron and Hermione were worrying about him. 

"What are you brooding about?" Severus demanded, as he tested the consistency of a simmering potion. 

Harry cast around for something safer to say, and an old grievance surfaced. "I have a friend who loves Potions."

"So?"

"She's a Gryffindor fifth-year named Zoë. She's says you're horrible to her. Do you know her?"

"Not by name. What does she look like?"

"Long, straight, dark brown hair. A bit of a sly look."

Severus frowned thoughtfully. "The half-blood?"

Harry scowled. "Trust you to know the parentage of a girl you don't even know the name of!" 

"It actually is a reasonable thing for the instructors to make note of, for new students -- whether or not they were raised in a wizarding household."

"But you don't do anything useful with that information." Harry was furious, now. "It's just so you can harass us and insult us."

Severus sat very still. "I assure you, Harry," he said, after the silence had grown awkward. "I harass all the Gryffindors. Miss Weasley has it no easier than your Zoë, in my class."

"Yeah, well you hate her, too."

Severus pushed away from the bench. "I do not hate her! Stop _trying_ to be unreasonable." 

"So will you be nicer to them?"

Severus growled in exasperation. "No!" He turned on Harry. "I will never like teaching Gryffindors. You take ridiculous risks for incomprehensible reasons, and you defend each other aggressively." 

"What should we do? Let you walk all over us?"

"You should show your throat, like a good subordinate."

For a moment, Harry was frozen with shock and indignation. Then the pure absurdity of Severus's bland statement struck him, and he burst out laughing. Severus, after a momentary glare, smiled.

"Well, you should. You have no respect for rank."

"And a good thing, too! Wouldn't I be useless if I did?"

Severus shook his head, but he was still smiling. "Are you over your sulk, then?"

Harry hid his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. Hermione says I'm 'more than usually mercurial' now. It just seems so offensive, as the only thing you know about her." 

"I do know her _surname_." 

"Oh." Harry blushed. "I guess ... that makes sense." In a fit of honesty, he added, "I don't." 

"It is Leland. She is an above-average student, but impatient. Her errors are those made in temper. She should learn better control." 

"Submission, you mean."

"In part, yes. At least the appearance of it." Severus scowled. "After our news is out, yes, I will see if I can see this interest you speak of. For now, I am not altering anything. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you." 

Severus sighed and looked into his cauldron. 

"What?"

"Sometimes, I --" Severus stopped. Harry watched him draw himself in, as if he was putting on invisible armor. "Nothing." He pulled over the bowl of firepods. 

"Did I do something wrong, sir?"

"No." Severus looked up, but past him, at the fire. He cleared his throat. "Draco tells me you played Fudge beautifully." 

"Did he? Great! I think I'm getting better at that sort of thing." Harry sighed. "I still managed to insult Hermione, of course. I should have talked to her beforehand." 

"To tell her what?"

"That I wouldn't introduce her as my girlfriend."

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked like he had a headache. "Harry...."

"Don't expect me to pretend with you. Fudge was only here for an afternoon."

Severus glared at him. "I neither expect nor want you to lie about your personal life to me."

"You don't like to hear about it though," Harry argued. "You tense up any time I mention her." 

Severus sighed again. He dropped a firepod into his mixture, and it flared and sank. "It's difficult," he said abruptly, his eyes on the potion, "watching you with a Muggle-born girl. I know it's ridiculous, especially considering your mother, but it's there, all the same."

"You don't approve of her."

"But I _do_ approve of her. She's intelligent, and usually sensible, and has the caution you obviously need someone to have for you." Hair fell in a curtain alongside Severus's face as he bent his head over the cauldron. "It's just when I see you with her," he said, more slowly, "I panic, sometimes. You're already a half-blood; she's a sport. Any children of yours would be only a quarter wizarding lines. What if the power doesn't breed true?"

"Well, it's not like I'm marrying her," Harry objected. "I'm just taking her to the ball."

Severus finally looked at him. "I doubt I'll ever be able to watch you holding hands with a girl without evaluating what sort of wife she'd make for you. It's instinct, I expect. Do I tolerate this one, or drive her off?" He extinguished the flame beneath the cauldron and stilled it with a cooling spell that produced great clouds of vile-scented fog. Harry coughed.

"What does that do?"

"Fortunately, nothing, when inhaled." Severus turned to him. "Harry. I can't deny I'd feel more comfortable if you were with a pureblood -- or any wizard-born witch -- but Hermione is a fine girl. Her knowledge is the perfect match to your power, and her caution the perfect match to your recklessness. Bring her to the ball. Marry her, if you wish. I promise, if you stay with her, I will teach myself to tell her her virtues to her face. Do you understand?"

Harry, uncertain, nodded. 

 


	70. The Danger of Trust

 

Harry was sleepy at breakfast the next morning. He had been out late with Ron and Hermione, mapping a wide strip of the grounds -- between the castle and the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack -- under the cover of darkness. 

Despite the late night, Harry had woken early and been unable to get back to sleep. Eventually, he had given up trying and gone down to breakfast. While pushing scrambled eggs listlessly around on his plate, he was disturbed by a strong sense of being watched. He looked up, and saw Draco staring at him from the Slytherin table. Draco stood, looked intently at him, and left. Harry abandoned his breakfast and followed. 

Draco was waiting in the hallway. As soon as Harry was in sight, he started to walk. Harry followed him down the corridor, until he entered a room. A minute later, wand in hand, Harry opened the same door. The Slytherin was leaning beside a dusty window, waiting; his wand was not visible. With a nod of acknowledgement, Harry closed and warded the door, then pocketed his own wand. He crossed the room. 

"Well?"

Draco evaluated him for a moment. "I don't trust you," he said. 

"Oh." 

"No offense, but you lied too well on Saturday." He stared through the window a moment. "Oddly, this leads me to believe you actually _are_ Potter, and Potter has more depth than I expected."

Harry shrugged. "I never said I wasn't." 

"No, I suppose you didn't." Draco sent him an unexpected smile. "Though I was hoping that if you were, you would at least flinch when I called you a prat."

Harry shrugged. "That was hardly a surprise, was it?"

"You're still not!" Draco said incredulously.

"Not what?"

"Not letting on!"

"Oh." Harry replayed the conversation, and realized what Draco meant. "Yes," he said. "I am Harry Potter. Happy?"

Draco looked exasperated. "Not really. What about everything else? The way you look? The transfiguration?"

" _You don't ask._ "

"Oh. Right." Draco sighed. "I _do_ hope you are not doing something idiotic." 

Harry raised his eyebrows. "Snape doesn't think so."

"Are you _really_ Potter? I thought you might be some nephew of his that he'd snuck into the spot."

"Anyone Snape brought in would do a better job."

Draco laughed. "Likely. Was I good, Saturday? Excepting my little _faux pas_?" 

"You were wonderful. I don't think I would have survived it without you." 

"Well, you certainly seemed capable of it! Didn't think you'd go along with someone putting down your werewolf patron like that."

"I didn't like it." Harry felt himself heat. "Still, I need the time. If that's the way to get it...."

"Right." Draco looked sharply at him. "Perhaps you _will_ win."

"I will."

"Let's go, then. We can be early for Potions." 

"And Snape will be pleased with you."

Draco smirked. "Not you, though. Snape is never pleased with you." 

 

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, they learned a new spell for combining with hexes, _Genio_ , the 'By Class' spell. Using _Genio_ , a hex could be sent to multiple targets in close proximity. 

"All the targets," Professor Lupin explained, "must be not only similar, but biologically or essentially similar. That is, you can disperse the hex or charm to all the girls, but not to everyone wearing a gown; to all the rats, but not all the familiars; to everyone with blue eyes, but not everyone who likes blue eyes."

"Can you disperse among all purebloods?" Draco asked. 

Lupin's face tightened. "As much as this may disappoint you, Draco, there is nothing essentially unique about purebloods. _Genio_ can distinguish between people with magic and those without, but Hermione is not distinct from you, in this regard."

"But there are magical ways to tell."

"Yes, but they are spells of ancestry, and those are far too slow and complex to combine with other hexes, even in the fairly rigid structure of a formal duel." Lupin scanned across the faces in the classroom. "Next week, we will learn about marker spells, but for this week, we are dealing with the By Class spell only."

They were divided into groups of five, and each person, in turn, cast the Glow Charm on a subset of the other four. Harry found himself with Draco, Justin, Padma, and Terry. Justin and Draco kept as far from each other as possible. Harry was amused by how both expressed tension as aloofness, and he worked on being casually friendly with both of them. 

Harry went first and chose a simple class, casting the Glow Charm on all the people with brown eyes. Next, Padma tried the boys. At his turn, Draco whispered his criterion. Padma and Harry glowed. Draco frowned deeply, but refused to say what he had tried. The time after that, Harry (hoping to work out what he had in common with Padma) asked everyone their birthdays and tried to do the two older students, but that didn't work. 

"Probably because it's comparative," Justin said wisely. "Try something else." 

Harry tried people taller than five foot six, and that worked. This confused him, but Draco, their sole Arithmancer, observed that success demonstrated only that a comparative criterion worked if the comparison was to a fixed quantity, not if it was to a variable. Harry needed a moment to work this out, but Terry brightened immediately and tried people over sixteen years three months, which worked as well. Justin tried to do all the people with short hair, which failed. 

"Not an essential difference," Draco pointed out.

"But it's physical!" 

Harry shook his head. "Terry could grow his hair. Padma could cut hers. That wouldn't essentially change them."

"It's like to trying to hex everyone with painted nails," Padma agreed.

"Speaking of which, Harry...." Draco teased. Everyone, including Harry, looked at Harry's hands. 

"Potions accident," Harry said quickly. 

Padma squealed and grabbed at his right hand. "Harry! How did you _do_ that?"

"I told you, it was a potions accident!" Harry scowled. "Very pretty, I'm sure, but hardly worth spending the night in the Hospital Wing."

"Oh, I don't know," Padma said thoughtfully. "Terry, what do you think? Worth an overnight?"

Harry growled. " _I_ think I am going to kill Draco."

Draco lifted his eyebrows in mock astonishment. "For winning a round? How unsporting of you, Potter." 

By the end of class, everyone had an adequate grasp of which distinctions worked, and Justin and Draco had almost forgotten to avoid each other. Professor Lupin dismissed them all with a twelve inch essay assignment and the promise that next class they would combine the technique with a more taxing hex.

 

Harry went on through his day, never quite feeling that he had completely woken up. After a lackluster Quidditch practice, he lingered in the shower, letting his mind wander. 

"You coming to dinner, Harry?" Ron called.

"Go on. I'll catch you up."

Harry heard Ron and Jack, the last of his teammates, leave the changing room. His first feeling of freedom changed quickly to one of vulnerability, and he found himself hurrying to dry and dress, rather than enjoying the privacy. He had just finished drawing on his boots when the room dimmed. Looking up, he saw a slight figure standing in the doorway, silhouetted against the dying afternoon light.

"Pardon the intrusion."

The context was so wrong that it took Harry a moment to place the voice and build. 

"Remus?" For a moment, Harry was just perplexed. Then he jumped to his feet. "You can't _be_ here, Remus! He'll kill you!" 

Remus took one step forward, then another, his features resolving as he came further into the room. "Not if you don't tell him."

Harry stood still. Another three steps and the werewolf's hands reached his shoulders, and rested there with a firm pressure. His eyes had shifted to that inhuman gold. Harry stopped breathing. 

"Harry, please." With the back of his hand, Remus brushed the damp fringe over Harry's scar in a gentle, almost reverential, touch. "Believe that I love you." He released Harry and took a step back. Harry struggled to keep the release of his breath from being audible. 

"But?" Harry asked wryly.

"You have been chosen as this month's target."

Harry's stomach lurched. The room swam slightly. "Oh," he muttered. 

"Sit, Harry." Remus urged. Harry shook his head and wished he hadn't. 

"They tried to get me to do it last moon. I told them I hadn't had an opportunity. This moon, they are more insistent. They have given me plans for various contingencies. They have declared they will kill me if I do not deliver you, and that they will, if possible, try to do it in combination with infecting you, so that it looks like I died in the process."

"Wouldn't I know?"

"They could find an attacker whose wolf-form looked enough like mine to fool you, I think." Remus swallowed. "So, I have a series of requests --"

"Let you?" Harry suggested wryly.

"No!"

"But we could spy together." 

"Harry, no! You are never to consider such a thing." Remus had gone pale. He shuddered, but then continued, his voice calm and his words ordered.

"Stay with people all through the night of the full moon. I want a witness. If they manage it, somehow, and present you with a dead wolf, or my dead human body, and ask if this was the one, insist on tests. They cannot be done in the first month, but after the first change there are ways to conclusively link a werewolf with the one that infected it. It is ... a bond, like kinship. Finally...." Remus's steady voice wavered. He looked ill. "If Severus rejects you, bite him. He deserves it." 

Harry sat. Standing suddenly seemed like an unnecessary use of needed energy. The bench was cold beneath him. "What can I do to protect you?"

"I've told you --"

"No. You've told me how to protect your honor. How do I protect _you?_ "

Remus shook his head. "That is Dumbledore's problem, not yours. It's likely they won't manage to kill me, but I will never be able to leave here again." His face tightened with anxiety. "It's just ... if they _do_ manage it, I want you to _know_ I would never betray you. I know how it is to live with that, and I _won't_ let them do that to you."

"So I can trust you?"

"Trust me, yes." Remus hesitated. "But pretend not to." 

Harry's head swam. He hid his face in his hands. 

"They will be less angry if they think I tried and failed." Remus's voice had regained its calm, reasonable tone, as if he were listing the particulars of an assignment. "Don't be alone with me again. Refuse gifts from me, even in the guise of schoolwork. Selena will visit again; I will warn you via Hermione. Be visibly suspicious of me in her presence."

Harry was suddenly angry. "Why don't you just turn her in?" he demanded. _It's her fault! We can get rid of her --_

Remus sank to the bench beside him, his eyes closing. "Harry ...."

"You should! You know she's in it! You've said you don't agree with what they're doing! Help _stop_ them." 

"Selena believes she's doing the right thing, Harry. She's naive, not evil --"

"She's a terrorist! She's helping Voldemort! She's justifying Fudge's crackdown --"

"I KNOW!" Color flooded back into Remus's pale face. "God, Harry, don't you think I know all of that? But I'm not going to betray my own... my ...."

 _We're back to that,_ Harry thought in disgust. _My kind. From someone who should know better._ "Your _what,_ Remus?" he snarled. 

"There's not a word for it."

"Tell me!"

"She ... she was thirteen when she was bitten. Her family threw her out. They said she could live with her own kind." Remus shuddered. His eyes closed again. "There's a ... a network for that. I took her in. I'd done it before for new werewolves, but they had been adults; they stayed for a few moons and then left. Selena lived with me until she was seventeen, and we still have Christmas together, when we can." His eyes, wolf-gold, flashed open. "She is my foster-child, as best I can explain. She is family, wolf-family. She has brought this on me trying to find a way to protect me from Randolph's anger. Even if she has done wrong, I will protect her."

The pain in Remus's eyes brought Harry's anger to fury. That it no longer had a clear target changed nothing in his voice. "But you should tell!"

"Fine, Harry." Remus closed his eyes in resignation. He slumped forward, face in hands, elbows on knees. "I should. Would you do it?"

"Yes!"

"Then go ahead." The eyes flicked open as the face lifted. Remus's tired expression hardened. "Tell on me."

"But you haven't-- You're not...."

"I'm aiding a criminal, Harry. Go on. Tell." Remus's tawny eyes glittered in the fading light. "Call the Department for Control of Magical Creatures. They can do anything to me -- I have no rights. Eventually, I'll tell them everything, under Veritaserum or worse, they'll apprehend her, and you'll be fractionally safer for another few weeks. Randolph will even have the inconvenience of replacing a messenger." 

Harry couldn't say anything. 

"Well?" Remus mocked. "Don't you want to rush out to prove your moral superiority? Your ability to do the right thing despite personal anguish? I do _hope_ it will cause you personal anguish -- it's comforting to think I matter to _someone._ "

"Remus...."

"Get out." 

 

Harry left, feeling queasy with uncertainty. His relationship with Remus seemed to be dissolving, even as it continued to strain his relationship with Severus, just like his relationship with Hermione did, and as Severus and Draco caused him problems with Ron and Hermione. He was tempted to go straight to bed, preferably without speaking to anyone. 

He went to dinner. 

 

"What's wrong, Harry?"

Harry looked up from the impromptu artwork he had absently made of his food. 

"Just tired," he said. With the tines of his fork, he adjusted the placement of two peas. He found himself longing for Sirius more strongly than he had in the last month. _Of course,_ he thought, _he would actually make things worse, not better. He and Severus would be attacking each other constantly, and I'd have another pair of enemies to manage._ The thought was, in itself, depressing. 

"Dreams?" Hermione pressed.

"No. Really -- just lack of sleep. No exploring tonight, I think." He wondered what Remus had been like with James. Despite the way James had treated Severus in the vision, he found himself thinking of James with affection again. Perhaps it was watching his infant self being tossed in the air and cuddled and fiercely claimed. Perhaps it was the sense that James's arrogant behavior had no malice to it -- it was simply what James was. Thinking that, he could begin to understand the way Sirius and Remus had smiled about the Snitch -- the way he might, perhaps, years from now, smile about Hermione reporting his new Firebolt, or Ron's insecurity about money. _Oh yes -- she was just like that, he was just like that -- and I loved them._ He dropped his fork; it clattered loudly against his plate. _I'm imagining them dead!_

"Harry? Are you okay?

"Fine." The reply was automatic and he regretted it immediately. A small excuse might have headed her off, but now Hermione was reaching for his hand. 

"I know that kind of fine," she said wryly. "Come on. Let's go for a walk." 

 

They went outside in the cool October evening, and into the walled rose garden. The last flowers of summer clung doggedly on to the canes, browning slightly, but preserved by the cold that had halted their growth. It was too chilly for any remnants of their scent to carry. Hermione led him down several paths, to a sheltered arbor covered in the still-green leaves of some hardy vine. 

She pulled him close for a kiss. For a moment, Harry was lost in the softness of her lips. He set his arms around her and felt her tremble against him. He wondered if she was as warm as her breath under her night-cooled robes, and if he dared find out. He wondered if this would work just as well with someone else -- someone less complicated. 

Hermione pulled away, and Harry belatedly realized that he had stopped paying any attention to the kiss. 

"What?" she asked, concerned. 

Harry looked at her anxiously. "Have you ever thought of...." He swallowed and started over. "Do you ever have problems that don't have solutions? There are things that look like solutions, that might please _someone_ , but they're all wrong and stupid and wouldn't really fix anything?" 

She looked upset immediately. Harry thought this was rather unfair, as he hadn't actually said anything, yet. He couldn't think what to say. If he wasn't with her, things might be simpler with Severus, and perhaps even Draco, but they wouldn't be simpler altogether, and he wouldn't be any happier. 

"This doesn't have to go anywhere," she said. "If it was just an impulse--"

"No!" Harry caught her hands in his own. "No. That's ... not what I meant." He took a deep breath. "I... You're right for me. I know it. But... Severus would be happier if I was with a pureblood girl."

The words came out in a nervous rush. Harry had thought he had known how much that statement would hurt her. He could see now that he hadn't even come close. He continued desperately:

"I don't want to break up with you, or anything. That would be just the stupidest thing to lose you over. _He_ doesn't even want me to break up with you; it's not like that, it's just that he'd be more comfortable if I happened to be interested in someone else, but I'm not." 

Hermione nodded. She seemed to be unable to speak. Harry had the terrible feeling that he had started this all wrong and had no way out of it.

"He's worried about grandchildren-- that's the only part that actually makes sense. I mean, I'm already only a half-blood, and maybe you could raise a squib, but I ... I'm not actually at all competent in the Muggle world; it's hardly real to me. I've been kept there, but I didn't participate in it. I wasn't allowed." 

Harry willed himself to stop babbling. Hermione was twisting her hands out of his grip, and he was holding on fiercely, desperate to keep her in front of him. 

"I love you," he said. "I'll shut up about it, okay?"

She shook her head. Tears were spilling out of her eyes, now. He tried to lean forward to kiss them away, but with a final twist she broke loose of his grasp, and stumbled away, breaking into a run when she was on the path. 

"Hermione!" Harry yelled after her. "Hermione, no! At least talk to me!"

He ran to the gate, but couldn't see her anywhere. He punched his fist back into the wall hard enough to leave him gasping from the pain. "Damn it."

 


	71. Consequences

 

Harry went back to Gryffindor very late. Of his roommates, only Ron and Seamus were still in the common room. Ron intercepted him before he was halfway across the room and led him off into a corner.

"You and Hermione fight again, mate?"

"Yeah."

"She came back and went and hid in her room. Kicked Ginny out when Ginny tried to talk to her." Ron took a deep breath. "You didn't do anything to her, did you?"

"We just-- I said something she didn't like, that's all."

Ron's voice was low and warning. "About _what?_ "

"Just--" Harry reddened. Ron was looking ready to hit him. "It's not your business, Ron!"

"If I find out you were pressuring her...."

Harry stared. "What?" He suddenly realized what Ron meant. "Oh, it wasn't _that!_ It was all politics, and other stupid crap. I wouldn't--" He remembered how it felt, kissing Hermione, and imagined working his hands into her robes and pushing them out of the way. He caught his breath. "I mean, not if she didn't want--"

Ron nodded. "Good. I just wanted that clear." 

"Then let me make it equally clear that I am insulted."

"Harry! She was so--" Ron stopped. "All right. I apologize. That was a horrible thing for me to think." 

Harry nodded stiffly. "Forget it, then. I'm going to bed, now."

 

Harry skipped breakfast and Charms. He didn't dare skip Transfiguration, although Hermione was in it. She didn't look at him once during the lesson, and he could hardly bear to look at her. Professor McGonagall treated him unusually gently -- he didn't know whether she felt sorry for what she said the other night, or if it was just that she could see he was miserable.

He forced himself to eat lunch and felt, if not better, at least more capable for it. On consideration, he realized it was the first real meal he had eaten in a full day. He forced himself to think over what he had said the night before. He didn't think any of it had actually been offensive, except possibly for postulating that they might have children, but he could see why she would find the subject unnerving. _It wasn't really what I meant to talk about. I shouldn't mention anything like that when I'm too upset to be clear._ He sighed, and began to scan the Gryffindor table. When he located Hermione, he got to his feet and walked deliberately to the space across from her seat. She tensed, but didn't look up.

"Hermione? We need to talk."

Hermione turned as red as a Howler, and mashed her fork against her carrots. 

"Hermione?"

"No." 

"Look, I was tired, an--"

She jumped up, knocking over her pumpkin juice, and completely ignoring the spreading mess. "Go AWAY!"

He left. 

 

By the end of the day, Hermione had clearly told a number of people that she had broken up with Harry, but she had not given them any details on why. Ginny asked outright, and Harry told her, equally plainly, that it was none of her sodding business. Lavender came up to Harry in the common room and scolded him for hurting Hermione's feelings. 

"She won't tell anyone what you said, so it must be awful. I think you're a horrible boy to keep making her cry like that." 

"And I think you're a brainless ninny to have such opinions on things you know nothing about."

Colin jumped to his feet. "Don't talk to her like that!" he shouted, turning red as he spoke. Harry stared at him. He had never wanted Colin's adulation, but he felt oddly betrayed by the boy's defense of Lavender -- as if he had been bitten by his own dog. 

"Find a girl who likes you," he snapped. "Preferably one with a brain." He stormed upstairs before matters could escalate further.

 

Ron followed him in a moment later. Harry ignored him. Ron came and sat on the edge of Harry's bed, which made ignoring him harder, and rather silly. Harry continued to do it anyway.

"What happened?" Ron asked. 

"I don't want to talk about it."

There was a long silence. "Look, Harry ... my two best friends are miserable. I can't help if I don't know what happened."

"I ... I said something, and she took it wrong, that's all. I don't want to go explaining to you what I said and what I meant. That's not going to help -- it's all just going to get more tangled. I want to tell _her_ what I meant, what I was going to say if she hadn't run off on me, what mattered in what I said...." Harry sat up. "Could you get her to listen to me? Just for a few minutes? You can even be there, or Ginny can be, just ... I need to talk to her."

"Dunno if I can, mate ... but I'll try." 

 

Ron was still trying at breakfast the next day. Harry didn't even attempt to sit near them, as this would clearly derail any progress Ron might be making. Colin was still snubbing him. Harry noticed his own amusement at this and tried to ignore the matching bewildered sense of loss. He told himself it was about time the kid grew up. 

His sat with Teresa, who still adored him, and he felt rather pathetic for it. He managed to eat a reasonable breakfast, but was relieved to head down to the dungeons for Potions. 

 

  "So...." Draco looked significantly at Harry. Harry reddened and looked down at his mistletoe berries. Draco's voice was low and well-covered by Parvati and Terry's chatter. "I've been hearing some wild rumors." 

"Wonderful. I love being gossiped about." 

"Some people are even saying that you broke up with her because she's a Mudblood."

"I didn't break up with her!" Harry snarled under his breath.

"So what happened?"

"I didn't-- I don't mind that she's Muggle born! I was just saying I wouldn't know how to raise a squib. I'm not comfortable in the Muggle world, really. I was never allowed to do anything there. And she just ... took it wrong, that's all." 

Draco frowned. "You're not comfortable with Muggles?"

"Not really," Harry said frostily. "No." 

"But ... But that's what you're _for._ " 

"I don't think people should hurt them," Harry said hastily. "Muggles are people just like wizards are. But I was never a participant in the Muggle world, and I feel odd there, even though I know a few bits of it better than the wizarding world." Harry shrugged. He realized his voice had risen and lowered it back to a whisper. Severus was frowning over his papers at them. "I was a captive, there, really. It's not ... Hermione feels comfortable there, I think. That's what I wanted to be sure of. Just in case."

"I see." 

Draco and Harry worked silently for a while. Eventually, Draco said, "Does this mean you're free for the Halloween Ball?"

Harry blinked. He hoped that wasn't the beginning to an invitation. He'd have no idea how to handle that. "Draco...." he warned.

"Well? Are you?"

Harry sighed. "I'll give her another few days."

"If you must." Draco leaned close. "I know this fifth-year girl who's _mad_ about you," he confided. "She's pretty-- a pureblood four generations, but not so much money or breeding that she'd consider you beneath her, and from a ... Reconciliationist family-- not Muggle-lovers, you know, but 'live and let live' sorts. She's not looking for a husband, but you don't seem to care about that. If you need a dance partner, I'd be happy to introduce you." 

"A Slytherin."

"Of course, a Slytherin. But you don't seem hot on any of the Gryffindors, Granger aside." Draco grinned. "And since she's not in the marriage game...."

His tone seemed to imply that this was meaningful. Harry couldn't think of any reasonable continuation. The entire idea that they should be thinking about marriage seemed ludicrous to him, though he had picked up that purebloods tended to marry young. 

"What?" he whispered.

"Well, you know! So her maidenhead isn't currency. She might let you put it in, for real." Draco laughed. His cheeks had gone pink. "Not that you can ever be certain, with girls, but you've more of a chance for something other than arse." 

Harry choked. "Draco!" He wasn't sure he understood all of what Draco had meant, but the part he _had_ understood was enough to turn him red.

"Potter!" came a sharp voice "Ten points from Gryffindor for disrupting class with your inane chatter. Move to the front bench!"

Harry looked up at the swiftly approaching professor, then, in dismay, at his cauldron. "But...." He swallowed. "Sir, if I move this before adding the mare's feathers, it will be ruined."

"Perhaps you should think of that before squawking at your classmates," Severus sneered. "Would you rather have detention?"

"Yes, sir."

"Very well. Eight o'clock. Be prompt." 

 

Ron and Hermione left Care of Magical Creatures together. Harry hurried to catch up to them.

Hermione sped up, her strides becoming long and swift. 

"Hermione?"

"Harry, please! I don't want to talk to you." Her voice was shaking. "I just ... I don't."

"Fine!" Harry grabbed at Ron's shoulder. "Ron. I need to talk to you." 

Hermione broke into a jog. Harry held Ron back from following her. 

"Harry?"

"Something I'd like you to tell her--"

"If she'll listen, now!"

"Remind her I was upset before we started talking. I wasn't thinking well. I'd just been ..." Harry looked around and led Ron further from the invisible path between Hagrid's and the school. "Remus talked to me. Tell her that. I wasn't just worrying about her."

Ron looked bewildered. "Remus...?"

"I can't tell you here."  
  


At dinner, Ron was with Hermione, and Zoë and Dean were sitting with Ginny, who seemed to be avoiding Harry out of solidarity, so Harry went and sat with a bunch of fourth years that he barely knew. Afterwards, he took his cloak and went to find his detention. 

Severus wasn't in his office, so Harry portkeyed from there to his room. Hesitantly, he opened the door to the silent kitchen. He snuck quietly through the cozy room and peered out in the parlor. A low fire was burning in the grate. His father was standing at the far side of the room, one hand resting on his desk.

"Sir?"

Severus whirled to face him. His face went from blank to livid in an instant. 

"What did you _do_?"

Harry was taken aback by the harsh question. "I don't ... what?"

"It's all over Slytherin that you broke up with her. Half my house says you are tired of having a Muggle-born girl--"

"What would they know?" Harry exploded. "I didn't break up with her! I didn't even mean-- I was just trying to explain something, and she took it wrong." 

Severus was not mollified by this at all. He advanced on Harry, who struggled to stand his ground. 

"What do you care, anyway?" Harry spat out at him. "I'd think you'd prefer I-"

The impact of Severus's hand on his cheek was enough to set his ears ringing. Harry stumbled back. 

"I'd prefer that we not have another generation of THIS IDIOCY!" Severus shouted. "You're supposed to have some _intelligence_!" He stood still, glaring at Harry, his breath coming out short and ragged. His voice quieted. "Somewhere along the line, it shouldn't matter." 

He turned away. His hand lifted unsteadily to the mantel and gripped it. "If you tell your children about this ... mess, they should giggle and say 'oh, Daddy, you're so _old!'_ "

"Father?"

"Get out."

Harry stood frozen. He could hear the echo of Remus's voice in the command. Severus's shoulders settled back. The fire he was facing reached a grub in the log and consumed it with a sharp pop and shower of sparks.

"Come back tomorrow," Severus added, "and I'll try to behave decently. I obviously can't manage that, right now." 

Harry raised a hand to his cheek. It was still burning, but that didn't really tell him anything. 

"'S'okay," he said quietly. He left. 

 

 

"Harry?" 

Harry looked up from his nest of cushions, tucked into a corner of the currently very small Room of Requirement. Hermione was standing in the doorway, looking cautiously at him. 

"Hey, Hermione," he said softly, as if she were a timid cat. "Come in."

Hermione came in, and let the door close behind her. "I thought you might be here, having a smoke, or something."

Harry brushed his hair back from his face. "If I had any fags left, I would be."

Hermione's cheeks dimpled with a smile. "The room won't provide that?"

"I don't know; I didn't try. I just asked for a place to curl up and be miserable, but in a comfy, safe sort of way." Hermione was beside the cushions, now. Harry uncurled, stretching back against the soft pile, and looked up at her. "I love you," he said sincerely. 

"I know," she answered. She sat down at the edge of the mounded cushions and stretched out a hand to him. He took it in a firm grip. "Even when I was angry at you, I knew." 

Harry made his touch lighter. He rolled towards her and kissed the back of her hand. "Does that mean you're not angry at me, anymore?" He kissed one of her fingers, then lightly ran his mouth above it. The feather touch of her skin awakened every nerve in his lips. Hermione whimpered, then firmly pulled her hand away. 

"Stop that. I'm trying to talk to you."

Harry lay back and shook the hair clear of his eyes. "Talk, then, dearest."

"Don't," Hermione said angrily. Harry looked away. 

"I'm sorry."

"It's all right -- just don't do it again." Hermione took a deep breath. "I came to say I'm sorry. I overreacted."

Harry looked at her in surprise. "I didn't explain well," he admitted. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't ever mean to make you think it made any difference to me." 

Hermione nodded. "I ... I finally calmed down enough that I could tell someone what happened. I told Ginny everything, and ... Well, I have a very good memory, you know. And when I was repeating the words, they weren't so awful. I think it was just the way you started, and the way you were acting -- I was frightened before you got to it, and I heard everything through that."

Harry nodded. "I realized I'd loused it up pretty much immediately, and then I babbled and made it worse. Sorry. I was just scared that you'd...."

"Feel insulted and run off?"

"Yes." Harry shifted over and up, so that he was sitting, if still reclined back, and he patted the cushions next to him. "Sit with me."

Hermione eyed him warily. "No snogging."

"Oh, so you only sort of forgive me," Harry said archly. "I see." He grinned, and patted the cushions again. "Sit with me as my girl-mate then, please?"

Hermione giggled and sat. 

"Severus is furious at me, you know," Harry offered.

"What for?"

"He heard someone say I'd dumped you because you were Muggle-born. I told him it wasn't like that -- I didn't dump you at all, and hadn't intended to insult you. But he could tell that was part of what we fought about, and he ranted about how we don't need another generation of this nonsense and he thought I had more intelligence." 

Hermione's voice was very small when she said, "I thought you said he didn't want you seeing me."

"He's not comfortable with it." Harry took her hand and stroked it gently. "He'd like to be, though. Intellectually, he knows you're as good a witch as any, and he even admires you, except for that he thinks you crave approval more than you ought. He just can't ... can't...." 

Harry took a firmer hold on her hand. "You're someone he was raised to despise," he said. "And he fought that, briefly, when he was friends with my mother, and when he was seeing her. Then, once they were apart for a bit, over summer, he embraced it. He's spent most of his adult life either fully believing Muggles and their offspring subhuman, or saying so, and still _feeling_ it, even if he didn't _think_ it. Now he has a Muggle-raised half-blood son -- and he does think I'm hopelessly Muggle, socially -- who's in love with a Muggle-born girl, but he's _trying_. He's putting a lot of effort into this. I didn't want to drive you off, I just wanted you to understand that it's torture for him to watch us holding hands, and there's _nothing_ I can do about it."

"But he's angry at you because...."

"Yes. He says he'd like to think that somewhere along the line, it won't matter to his descendants. He says he'd like to think that if tell my children about this sort of fuss, they'll look at me and giggle and say 'oh, you're so old!'" 

Hermione laughed. "I'd like that," she whispered.

"Me too." Harry hugged her close. "This is so stupid." 

"You do care, though."

"I swear, I don't."

"You don't directly." She shifted away. "But you care that people approve of your girlfriend."

"It would be nice, but it's not important."

"But it's there. And I think it's not just Snape. What about Draco? He must care."

Harry shrugged. "Maybe a bit. He thinks I have the name and money to marry someone who would 'increase my social standing.' Harry laughed. "But of course, he thinks he knows my parentage, and he doesn't." 

Hermione looked puzzled. "Snape's a pureblood, isn't he?"

"Yes, but not a _Potter_. It's a matter of status. Don't ask me to explain; I've never figured it out. But you'll note that Draco has no respect for Weasleys, and Snape was poorer than that, growing up."

"Will ... will he still be friends with you when he finds out?"

I don't know. I hope so." 

"Why?"

Harry sighed. "He needs some decent friends? I like to think I qualify. I need at least one who doesn't fuss about my behavior -- well, my morals or ideological purity, anyway. He's that." 

"Oh." Hermione looked down. "Are we friends?" she asked. 

"Please," Harry replied. 

"Thanks." She relaxed. "I know I fuss about both."

"You do," Harry agreed. "But you've never cast unwrinkling charms on my robes during a class, so you have your points, too."

Hermione burst out laughing. "He didn't!"

"Oh, he did." His amusement faded. "So -- do you still like me?"

"Yes."

"Despite my assimilationist behavior?"

She bit her lip. "I'm sorry. That was-- You're a good person, Harry."

"Thank you. It means a lot to me that you think so." Harry ran a finger against the pile of a velvet cushion. "So ... Come to the Halloween Ball with me?"

Hermione giggled nervously. "I can't. I promised Lydia I'd go with her. She asked me as soon as she heard we broke up, and I was _so_ annoyed at you...." 

"Lydia?" Harry repeated incredulously. Hermione was wrapping a lock of hair around one finger. "Who is _Lydia?_ "

"Lydia Carson. She's a Ravenclaw girl in my Arithmancy class." 

Harry laughed. He fell back in the cushions and laughed more. Hermione watched him, first anxiously, then, as he continued, with increasing irritation. Finally, Harry managed to speak. 

"Oh, bloody hell! I am never going to hear the end of this from Ron!"

"What?" 

"He'll say '...but _you_ were such an awful boyfriend as to turn her lesbian.'"

"Harry!"

"Well, he will. Bet you ten Galleons, it's that within two or three words." 

Hermione's annoyed expression broke into a smile. "Five."

"Done." 

They shook on it, briefly. Hermione settled back against Harry, who tentatively put an arm around her. 

"I didn't turn you off to boys, did I?" Harry asked anxiously.

"No. You're still managing to make me shiver, you know." 

"But you don't want to get back together. Or do you? After the ball?"

"Not now. I want you to finish with whatever it is you're going through, first."

"Perhaps we can have all our messy romances with other people, then settle down with each other."

"You're sappy, you know that?"

"Well, you're a good girl to get comfortable with, you know?" Harry squeezed her close in emphasis. "And in practical terms, you'd be an excellent partner, I think." He kissed her hair and felt a warmth of affection flood his heart. "So, tell me about Lydia."

"Well, she's very clever, and studious, and ever so pretty. She has wavy, golden-brown hair half-way down her back, and red, curvy lips, and perfect skin."

"Mmm. How's she kiss?"

Hermione giggled. "With gentle care and perfect concentration."

Harry caught his breath. He wondered that he didn't feel more jealous. "Have fun."

"You too-- Get another partner, okay?"

"We'll see. I'll be there anyway -- I need to wear those trousers."

"Oh god!" Hermione twisted in his arms and looked at him in shock. "Snape?" 

"Right."

"You want to get your father to throw a fit."

Harry laughed softly. "About something that doesn't matter at all."


	72. New Alliances

 

Severus strode into Remus's office without knocking and shut the door hard behind him. The werewolf's eyes widened in surprise, or perhaps alarm, but when he spoke, his voice was calm and quiet.

"May I help you, Severus?"

Severus forced himself to speak at a matching volume, but he could not quite manage calm. "Lupin. What happened between Harry and Granger?"

"I'm afraid I don't know. I did notice they were avoiding each other in yesterday's class, but that's not unprecedented."

"Doesn't he talk to you?"

Remus's lips drew back in a quick snarl, but his voice, when it resumed, was precise and polite. "He is forbidden to talk to me."

Severus pulled back a scream of rage. _Neither of them cares; do they think I don't know it?_ "How obedient of you," he sneered.

"Death threats will sometimes have that effect on me." Lupin sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. "What is it that you want, Severus?"

Severus gritted his teeth. "If I _permitted_ it, would you speak to Harry for me?"

A cold smile crossed Lupin's face. The expression did not suit him, Severus thought. He wondered when the werewolf had learned to be a predator. 

"Will he no longer speak with you?"

Remus's voice was low with pleasure. Severus clenched his hands into fists. "I cannot keep my temper."

"Really? I'm shocked."

"Will you speak with him?"

"No."

"What!"

"No. It is not safe."

"I will NOT--"

" _You_ will not. You're not the only snake in this grass, Snape. I will not speak to Harry." His gaze wavered. "I can speak to Hermione, if you would like." 

"Hermione?"

"She must also know what they fought about."

Severus nodded stiffly. "If you would, I.... Thank you." 

 

It occurred to Severus, as he walked to his first class, that he could speak to Granger himself. He spent most of his second lesson studying her and thinking about it. She was inattentive, today, but did not look as miserable as she had on Tuesday. He supposed he could ask, at least. Near the end of class, when he was evaluating potions, he paused to advance the invitation. 

"Miss Granger?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Stay after class, please."

"But I--" Granger managed to halt the words. "Yes, sir."

 

*************

 

Hermione couldn't imagine why Professor Snape would want to speak to her. Her potion had been perfect, as usual, and she hadn't caused any trouble, even by Professor Snape's biased standards. She sat in her chair while the other students filed out. When the room was otherwise empty, he took a few steps towards her. She stood. 

"Miss Granger." For a moment, he just stared at her, his face pale and drawn, his lips moving occasionally in little attempts to form words. His eyes closed for a moment. 

"No," she said tartly, when they opened again. "I haven't conveniently disappeared." 

"Miss Granger, Harry has not been ... forthcoming ... about what happened between the two of you. I ..." He paused. "I want to make it clear that I do not disapprove of you."

Hermione stared at him. He looked as ill as Harry had when he had been preparing to face the dragon. 

"Well, it's a bit academic, now," she offered finally, "but thank you." 

"I ... Did he...?" 

Hermione didn't know what Snape was trying to ask. She wasn't sure he did, either. 

"We made up," she said. "He was unclear, and I was frightened that he would ... that he'd even mention it. That it could start to matter. I ran away, and it took me a while to realize he hadn't really been offensive -- except for the thought that it mattered, and ... well, it's not his fault, really. It does matter, if it bothers you, and Draco, and Fudge; I can't expect him to pretend it doesn't." 

Snape looked down. For a moment, he stood still, then he turned, so he was facing half-away from her. "I feel like I am ruining him," he said softly. Hermione tried to speak, but couldn't manage any sound. He didn't notice. "About all any one can say about me is that I am preferable to Fudge -- possibly to the Dursleys."

A familiar flush of anger gave Hermione back her voice. "Do you know what he was _like_ last year? Brooding, and fits of temper, screaming at his friends, pigheaded defiance ... and when Sirius died, I was afraid this year would be worse -- either that, or he'd be broken." She managed a slight nod. "He's been ... better. I mean, since he told us. Happy, occasionally. More confident. Sometimes even social--" 

"And he is reading books of Dark Arts, and manipulating people, and trotting around after Malfoy, and getting his knickers in a twist over his girl's bloodlines!"

"He wants to please you."

Snape's eyes closed. His voice came out at a bare whisper. "He does please me. He pleases me when he figures something out and is proud of it. He pleases me when he dares tease me in front of the Weasleys. He pleases me when he forgets--" He stopped. "And then he is suddenly so formal. 'Yes, sir,' 'No, sir,' 'Did I do something wrong, Father?' I feel like it will never--" He broke off. "And why I am telling this to you, of all people...!" 

Hermione shrugged. She decided that for once, she had better not give her best answer. "I'm here," she said, instead. "And you know that I care about him too." She struggled to keep her voice steady. "I think you've been good for him, more than not. Now may I go? I'll be late for Arithmancy."

He waved a hand at the door. His voice was barely audible. "Go." 

 

*************

 

Harry felt odd walking into the Gryffindor common room. Hermione had done her best to patch things up by studying with him the night before, and sitting with him at breakfast and lunch, but he could still hear mutters when he entered, and a few people fixed him with disapproving looks when he first looked their way. Harry suspected that the majority of his house assumed that Hermione's rejection of him was due entirely to some horrible thing he had done, and her subsequent softening only indicated emotional weakness. He kept his head high and crossed the room to where Zoë was playing chess with Dean.

"Hi."

Zoë's brief smile lacked its usual warmth. "Hi, Harry."

Dean looked up at him. "I saw you with Hermione at lunch," he said. "All sorted?"

Harry thought it must be handy to have skin that obscured a blush. He was fairly sure that Dean was uncomfortable about having avoided him. "All sorted," he said. "She's not my girlfriend any more, though." 

"Rough." Dean moved a bishop. 

Harry sat down straddling the spectator's chair and stared at the board. "A bit. I've started to think -- perhaps it will work better. She's pushy enough as a friend. As my girlfriend, she seemed to think she was in charge of my behavior." 

"She _is_ a prefect," Zoë pointed out. Her voice was a bit sharp.

"I know, but .... but she's never been like this, before. I'm not talking about school rules." He swallowed. "Are you angry at me?"

"I don't really know whether to be angry or not -- I don't know what you did. Ginny is still, a bit, but not as much since Hermione told her what happened."

Harry tried to think of some way to explain enough without telling the whole story. 

"It was political."

"Political?"

Harry tensed. "She finds my behavior overly ... assimilationist, and I said something that she misunderstood, and things got out of control." 

Zoë blinked at him. "She doesn't want you to act like a wizard?"

"Right. I mean, that wasn't why she broke up with me, but that's where it started. It just escalated from ... she doesn't like my clothes, my hair, the books I read...."

Dean made a thoughtful sound. "You really think it'll be better?"

Harry shrugged. "I hope. Ron had the same sort of problems dating her -- not about _that,_ of course -- and they're fine, now." He glanced over at Zoë. "Don't suppose you'd like to go to the ball with me?

She smiled. "Well, even if I didn't mind being an obvious second choice...."

"How do you know that? I was already going out with her when we got to know each other."

"Even _if,_ " Zoë repeated, "it would remain that I already have a date." 

Harry gave a tragic sigh. "A pity. I'll need to hunt beyond my house, then." 

"No other Gryffindor girls you like?" Zoë asked in surprise.

"None." Harry swung off the stool. "Familiarity breeds contempt, and all that." He started off. Zoë sat upright in her chair. 

"Some other time?" she called after him. 

He looked back and grinned. She really was pretty. "I'll keep it in mind."

 

Harry wandered down to the library before dinner, and managed to find Draco, studying at a table by the window. Harry suspected that if his common room was as dark as Slytherin's, he'd study in the library too. 

"Hi," he whispered, slipping into a seat across from Draco.

"Hi yourself!" Draco grinned. "You look happier, today. Have your partner back?" 

Harry couldn't repress a smirk, though he knew it wouldn't make any sense to Draco. "Nah -- she got another date. And Zoë's taken. So you can introduce me to the Slytherin girl -- I won't guarantee I'll be interested, but I'm willing to meet her." 

"Understandable." Draco nodded. "Let me check and see if she's still available. If she is, I'll arrange something for tomorrow after classes." He frowned. "That's only two weeks from today, isn't it?"

"Really?" Harry's surprise turned quickly to delight. Two weeks to the ball meant two weeks and a day until Severus acknowledged him. They ought to be able to keep the secret that long. 

"That's why we have the second Hogsmeade weekend, this week. In case people need supplies or presents for the girls. From that grin, may I take it you're set on what to wear?"

Harry wondered when the twins would get back to him. "Almost." 

"Hunh. I hate these things. It's almost as bad as deciding what you want to be for real. Should I wear fifteenth-century French court dress, or go as a fox?"

Harry burst out laughing and had to duck his head submissively in return to Madam Pince's glare. 

"How about a fox in fifteenth-century French court dress?"

Draco sniggered. "Could be fun. Now get out of here before you get me in trouble -- I need to finish this before dinner." 

 

Dinner was refreshingly social. Ron had finally asked Lavender to the ball, and Lavender, to almost everyone's surprise, had accepted. Ron was still in a blissful stupor, and spent most of the meal gazing worshipfully at Lavender, who was sitting with her own friends, a short way down the table. Now and then, she would glance back and smile at him. Dean and Seamus traded snide comments, none of which Ron seemed to hear. Colin had skipped dinner. Ron emerged from his haze long enough to ask Harry and Hermione if they were going together, again. Hermione said "no," then stopped. Ron did not ask for details, which seemed to confuse her. Harry would have teased her about her date, but he wasn't sure she wanted to tell Ron in front of an audience. Harry demurred on his own prospects. "I might just go by myself. I expect girls will dance with me anyway." 

They were back in the Gryffindor common room, and Hermione was starting to look nervous, when a huge owl arrived at the window with a large, cylindrical parcel. 

"For you, Potter," called the seventh-year who had let it in.

Teresa, whose room was close, subbed Harry a few owl treats, and looked curiously at the parcel. "Are you going to open it?"

"Not down here."

Hermione peered at the return address and grimaced. "Harry! What have they sent you this time?"

"Just something for the ball." Harry smirked at her. "Don't fret."

"Well pardon me for not trusting the twins!" 

Harry shrugged. "I'm not saying you should." He stood up. "Anyway, I'll think I'll take this upstairs." 

"Wait!" Hermione grabbed at his arm. "Um... Ron, could we speak to you a moment?"

Ron -- finally -- noticed them. His focus went from Hermione's face to Harry's face to Hermione's hand. He rolled his eyes. "Fine."

In the corner, Hermione was still clutching Harry's arm as if she would otherwise fall. Harry patted her hand and tried not to grimace. Ron crossed his arms. "Go ahead, then."

"Ron, I ..." Hermione bit her lip nervously. "I have a new partner for the ball." She hesitated. "A girl." 

Ron stared at Hermione for a moment. His eyes narrowed, and he turned on Harry. "What the hell did you DO to her?"

Harry grinned. "Do?" he asked. "Come on, Ron -- we lasted as long as the two of you did."

Ron's arms moved in wide arcs before gesturing accusingly at Hermione. "Yeah, but when she left me, she still liked blokes!"

"I still do, Ron!" Hermione let go of Harry to fold her arms over her chest. "I'm not even sure this will work! We've only kissed once. But ... but she asked me, and I was still angry at him, and I like her...." Hermione trailed off. Her eyes were wide and unhappy. "Is it okay?"

"Well, it's not like you would have gone with _me,_ now is it?" Ron sounded rather angry. After a look at Hermione's face, he softened. "Don't look like _that!_ What's wrong?"

"I ... nothing."

Harry cut in. "I believe you owe me five galleons."

"What?"

Hermione sighed. "Yes, that was probably close enough. Pay you at Hogsmeade?"

"What are you two on about?"

"We had a bet about how you'd react." 

Ron froze for a moment. "So this is ... some sort of joke?"

"No. She really is going with some Ravenclaw girl. We just had a bet on how you'd react. I said you'd blame me."

Ron threw up his hands. "Well, what else should I think? I never saw her sniffing around the girls before she snogged you!" 

Harry stepped back and gestured at Hermione. "Give her a hug," he ordered. 

"Are you mental? Why?"

"Because she needs that now. Go on."

Reluctantly, with an odd look at Harry, Ron hugged Hermione. The embrace became warmer when she returned it. 

"Hermione?" His voice softened. "What are you crying for?"

"Nothing." Hermione gave a little gasping laugh. "It's just that girls are mental, you know." She flung an arm out to pull Harry in. "I love you both so much." 

Harry kissed her hair, then, on impulse, tugged on Ron's. 

"Ouch. Stop that!"

Harry laughed and stepped back. "I'm going to go open my parcel, now." 

 

Ron followed Harry up to the dormitory. He sat down on his bed and watched Harry undo the string on the parcel. He didn't even complain that Harry was untying it, rather than cutting it. 

"Do you think it's a phase?" he asked. 

Harry looked up. "What?"

"The ... the girl. Do you think she really likes that sort of thing?"

Harry shrugged. "Dunno. She liked the kiss, apparently."

"Do you think that's what was wrong with ... us?"

Harry had already thought this over. 

"No, I think it's that we're ill-behaved and take badly to correction." He hesitated. "Of course, a girl might be better behaved. I think they are, I mean. On average."

"What are you two talking about?" Dean was in the corner, sketching. He looked completely perplexed. 

"Hermione." Harry grinned. "She's going to the ball with some Ravenclaw girl." 

Dean choked. "So _that_ was Ginny's secret!" 

Harry slid the twine off the parcel and peeled back the paper, exposing a tight roll of brilliant silver. He picked up the edge of the cloth and let it unroll. Some strips of leather and a mass of white cloth fell out of it. After finding shoulder seams and shaking down the garments, Harry found he had two shirts -- one a tight, very short-sleeved iridescent silver, and the other loose and white with laces from chest to collar. It had a sort of pirate look, Harry decided. The leather bits seemed to be the wand sheath.

"What are those?"

"Possible shirts for my fancy dress. Courtesy of the twins." Harry opened his trunk, undressed, and shimmied into the leather pants. He arranged the side laces, then pulled on the iridescent shirt. It clung like a second skin. Harry pulled back the curtain that usually covered the mirror on their door. 

"That works." He shivered.

"Don't start admiring yourself," Ron said sharply. 

"Mm. But it--" Harry stopped. He pulled the shirt off and tried the other one. This needed to be tucked in, which involved quite a lot of squirming. He twisted, trying to see if the hem showed through the tight leather. He thought it did.

"What do you think?" he asked Ron.

"No idea."

"Come on, Ron -- does it look good? Did the other one look better?"

"I'm _not_ attracted to you."

"Ron!" Harry glared. "That is neither helpful, nor relevant. It's just a damn shirt."

Dean intervened. "The tight, shiny one."

"Thanks, Dean!"

"But ... could I sketch you in this one? Maybe with one of the swords from the common room?"

Ron stood up. "See you later." He left. 

 

 

In Potions on Friday morning, Harry thought his father looked terrible. He was deliberately boisterous with Draco, to give Severus adequate opportunity to keep him after class. He was not surprised when the Potions master took it.

When the last student left, Harry shut the door and heard his father's voice, behind him, casting the wards. He turned slowly. Severus stared at him for a moment in silence. 

"Sorry," Severus muttered. 

"'S'alright."

"You didn't ... didn't come back."

"Excuse me?"

"Last night. I asked you...."

Harry thought back. His father had asked. _Come back tomorrow and I'll behave decently_ , or something like that. 

"Sorry. I totally forgot you'd wanted me to." Harry smiled apologetically. "It was all a bit traumatic. Hermione came and found me afterwards, and we made up, which was good, but just as overwhelming, and ... it all rather blurred." He hesitated. "I wasn't angry at you, or anything." 

"Well." Severus looked as awkward and vulnerable as one of Harry's peers. He shrugged. Harry wasn't certain he'd ever seen that particular gesture from him, before. "Would you visit me, tonight? I think ... we should talk."

"All right. After lights out?"

Severus nodded. "That would be safer."

 

Harry got to Defense Against the Dark Arts a few minutes late. "So," Professor Lupin was saying, "do you all feel comfortable with the By Class spell?"

Nods, some mild and some emphatic; a few people murmured agreement. Harry, who could feel his gut tighten at the mere sound of Remus's pleasant voice, ignored the question as he slipped into the empty seat next to Draco.

"Well, I'd like to see how you do. Divide into groups of five, and warm up with two rounds of test combinations." Remus's worn face lit up with sudden mischievous look that Harry had forgotten he had; it made him look years younger. "Then we'll discuss a few ground rules, and melée, five-a-side."

Everyone was instantly alert. A couple of students audibly gasped. Harry grabbed Draco's arm. "We need Hermione," he whispered urgently, under Remus's continued instructions.

Draco hesitated, then gave a short nod. "Fine." 

Harry looked across the aisle and caught Hermione's eye. He made a beckoning gesture. She furrowed her brow and looked significantly at Draco. Harry repeated the gesture. Remus finished his instructions, and Harry reached out and grabbed Hermione's arm. "With us. Ron, too."

Draco looked startled. "I did not agree to the Weasel." 

"Believe me," Harry said dryly, "they're a package deal."

"I won't!" Ron said.

"Hannah!" Draco called, and Hannah came and joined them. 

"Come on," Harry urged. 

Hermione shot another cautious look at Draco, then picked up her books. "All right." 

"Ron?"

"No." Ron stalked off and joined Ernie and Terry. 

"Justin?" Harry asked Draco. Draco shrugged. 

"Justin!"

Justin, with a look of amusement, walked over. "All right with you?" he asked Draco.

"Sorted," Harry said. 

Draco rolled his eyes and sat back. "An excellent team, I think," he said. "Well distributed."

"How so?" Justin asked. He seemed to be trying to work out whether or not to be offended. Draco gestured at the group of them. 

"Three boys, two blonds, two curly-haired people ... we're difficult to take out in a single attack." 

"All European," Hermione observed. 

Draco smirked. "Not entirely." 

Everyone else looked critically at their teammates. Harry eliminated Hannah immediately, as simply too blond to have any other ancestry. Hermione would certainly have told him if she had, he decided, which left Justin. Justin, however, was also studying him and Hermione.

"How would you know?" Hermione asked. 

"Earlier tests with _Genio_."

At Draco's answer, Harry remembered the time he and Padma had glowed. He whirled to stare at Draco, who raised his eyebrows in amusement.

"You did _know_ , didn't you, Potter?" 

"It's _rather_ dilute. I'd forgotten actually. I don't expect it will help if they specify skin color." 

Draco looked at him critically. "No, probably not. That's nearly as white as mine." He shrugged. "At any rate, that, and age, are the only ways to take all of us out."

Harry looked at the other team. "Four boys." 

"And four with brown eyes, I think."

"Four with detached earlobes," Hermione said. 

"How on earth do you notice that?" Draco burst out. 

"You're not the only one that does research." 

Professor Lupin stopped next to their group. "I don't see any testing going on here."

"We were discussing strategy, professor." 

"Five more minutes." 

"Yes, sir." 

They went quickly round once. Hermione got Justin and Draco on the first round. Draco raised an eyebrow at her. 

"You both have two wisdom teeth." 

Harry, determined to try something clever, attempted "people who have used Dark Arts." It didn't work, which made sense as soon as he thought about it. He realized scars wouldn't work either. He gave up and attacked the blonds.

Draco tried something that caused Justin to glow. He frowned and tried it again. 

"Hermione, there's no possibility that you're adopted or anything, is there?"

"No."

Draco gestured Remus over. "Professor," he said, "I know you said purebloods are not essentially distinct, but I managed another spell that relied on ancestry, so I decided to try for Muggle ancestry. Only one of our Muggle-borns glowed, and our wizard-born half-blood didn't. I tried again and got the same result, so it doesn't appear to be random. What is being detected?"

Remus shrugged. "I don't know." He looked uneasily at Hermione, and then, his face clearing, at Harry. "Draco, I was in the next room when Harry was born. I know him by scent, as I did his mother. He definitely has Muggle ancestors." He frowned. "Let's discuss this some other time. I want to get started."

Draco nodded. "Fine with me." 

 

 

The first round was called. Professor Lupin began to circulate among the students, removing the more persistent hexes. Draco surveyed the interestingly petrified Justin and currently rather furry Hannah, shrugged, and leaned back against a nearby desk. He looked wryly between Harry and Hermione. "I gather you two are back together, after all?"

Harry grinned at Hermione. "Nah. We're just mates."

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Girls are not 'mates', Harry. Even I know that."

"She is."

"Has she ever broken rules with you?"

Harry looked triumphant. "Yes." 

"Does she talk about girls with you?"

Harry remembered Hermione telling him how Lydia kissed. They looked at each other and she giggled. 

"Yes."

Draco looked surprised. "Well, I'm certain she does not allow you to skip lessons when you're hung over."

Hermione spluttered. Harry laughed. "Sorry, Draco -- I've never _been_ hung over. Never been that drunk." 

"Oh, right. No point in _you_ drinking -- you have that lovely custom potion with the mysterious supplier."

Harry could feel himself heating. Hermione frowned. 

"Harry! Have you been giving him bubbles?"

"There," Draco drawled. "Girls. I told you." 

Harry attempted to disarm Hermione's disapproval with a smile. "It's not so bad. You should try it."

"No, I should not!"

"I bet I could even duel on it." 

Draco perked up and glanced across the room. "Got any? Lupin will be busy for a minute or two more." 

Harry looked. Neville had been hit by some sort of elegant variation on the Dancing Hex that was causing him to cycle through poses Harry would not have thought him capable of attaining. He looked like he was doing a Yoga routine, or possibly Tai-Chi. It seemed to have Remus stymied. 

"Who cast that?"

"Padma. It's one of the ones you reflected." Draco jigged impatiently. "Got any?"

Harry pulled the bottle out. "Want some?"

"Harry!" Hermione hissed. 

"Not me, idiot!" Draco stepped back. "No, Potter -- trusting your base instincts is one thing -- we don't want to try mine, believe me."

"Neither of you is going to use that during a duel!" 

Draco held out his hand. "Come on. I'll dispense." 

With another quick glance at Lupin, Harry pulled the cord over his head and thrust the small bottle at Draco. 

"Harry!" Hermione's voice was urgent, but still low enough not to carry to the other side of the room and their professor. "This is not safe!"

"It's not going to make me do anything, Hermione. The risk is that I _won't_ do something. I should find out, and this is the safest place, with Remus here." 

"Without him knowing?" 

"Well, I'm not going to tell him."

There was a sudden motion across the room, and Lupin was in front of them in an instant. 

"Care to let me in on what's going on?" he asked mildly. Harry suddenly remembered that werewolves had better than human hearing. He wondered how much Remus had caught. _Probably from his name. What did we say after that?_ He did his best to look innocent. 

"Just strategy, sir."

Remus tried Hermione. She looked down, but stayed silent. 

"What are you holding, Draco?"

Draco's fist was totally enclosing the small bottle, but the cord dangled out. He looked innocently at Remus. "Just bubbles, sir."

Harry winced. Had Remus not known about the bubble potion, it would have been a very clever reply. As things were....

"Harry!" Remus turned on Harry. "Of all the --! I'd think you were Sirius's child, if I didn't know better! In class? Over the summer holidays is one thing, but--"

"I want to know if I can duel on it, sir."

Remus blinked and went suddenly calm. Harry wasn't sure it was an improvement. "I see. So this was to be an intentional experiment?" 

"Yes sir. I gave it to Draco to give to me so I couldn't decide to do more. We figured it was safest to try here--"

"No." Remus caught the quick snarl. His voice became pleasant again. "We will make your experiment, but _not_ in my lessons. Give me that." He held out his hand, and Draco, with visible reluctance, handed over the necklace. Remus turned back to Harry. "Stay after class. Keep whomever you feel necessary to guarantee your safety. You will duel _me._ "

Harry considered refusing. He looked across the room, to where Ron was watching nervously. "If I can get Ron to stay, sir."

"Agreed." Remus stuffed the necklace into his pocket. "Now, _please_ try behave in class, Harry." He looked back at Justin and Hannah. "I'll return in a minute." 

"Sorry," Draco said, as soon as he'd left. "I didn't think he'd know."

Harry smirked. "I ambushed him with some over the summer."

"You what?" 

"I blew some in his face. He got really sweet on it. I'd never seen him that relaxed before." 

Draco raised his eyebrows. "Would this have anything to do with your lapses into using his given name?" he drawled.

"No -- that was earlier. Also this summer, though." Harry looked at Hermione. He bit his lip. "Thanks for not telling."

She shrugged unhappily. 

"You would have, as my girlfriend -- called him over, I mean. I think I like you better this way."

Hermione blinked, then frowned thoughtfully. 

"And now you know what sort of things Draco and I snigger about during lessons."

She rolled her eyes. "I might have liked it better when I thought he was insulting people."

"Why?" 

"I quite agree," Draco drawled. "It's disgraceful the way Harry is corrupting me."

"I am not corrupting you!"

Draco lifted his eyebrows incredulously. "I have had the bubbles. You have not been drunk. Therefore, if one of us is being corrupted, it must be me." 

Hermione giggled. "Just don't let him give you cigarettes."

Draco made a face. "Euech. Not likely." 

 

At the end of class, Hermione and Draco lingered, though Draco dropped back to give Harry more room to approach Ron. Ron agreed to stay, but looked uncomfortable. When Remus held out the little bottle to him, suggesting he dispense, he refused to take it, and Remus, his expression teasing, refused to give it to Harry. It was Draco who stepped forward and took it, blew bubbles in Harry's face, then smirked and stepped back. Hermione watched with a frown and her arms crossed over her chest. 

Harry lost the first round of the duel without lifting his wand, and the whole situation seemed so silly that it was a while before he could stop laughing long enough to suggest they try again in two minutes. The second round wasn't nearly as much of a rout -- he got one hex off and did not collapse into giggles afterwards. They tried again in another two minutes, and it was almost a real duel -- both of them got off several hexes, and Harry managed to block one and hit Remus with a disorientation hex. Remus still managed to stun him. 

"Good enough," Remus said, still keeping one hand on a desk, after Ron had revived Harry. "You're almost back to normal, and I'd like to pretend I could still beat you when you are. Now, no more of this foolishness about being able to defend yourself on drugs, magical or not, agreed?"

Harry frowned. "As long as Hermione drops this foolishness of thinking it might make me dangerous." 

Remus rolled his eyes. "Only to yourself. Run along now, children -- all of you. Full moon's in a week -- I haven't the energy for this." 

 

Draco bumped against Harry in the hall after lunch and told him to come down to the pitch after classes to meet the fifth-year. When Harry got there, Draco was flying by himself. Harry looked around and spotted a figure in the stands. For a moment, he thought it was a boy, then realized it was the short-haired Slytherin girl. _Well, Draco did say she wasn't looking for a husband._ Harry shook his head. _And I've got used to the idea that all girls have long hair._ He grinned. _I suppose it's not short because she's a lesbian, then._

Harry made his way up into the stands. The girl noticed him while he was walking across from the stairs. She smiled at him, then looked down. After a moment, she looked up again, and met his eyes directly. Harry suppressed the impulse to look down in turn. Instead, he closed the distance and held out his hand. 

"Hello. I'm Harry."

"Hello, Harry. I'm Olivia Wilkenson." 

She shook firmly, for a girl. Harry sat down. He cast around for something to say. Draco was swooping dizzily through the rings. "Er ... Do you like Quidditch?"

Olivia sniffed. "Of course not!" She smiled brightly at him. Harry felt lost. He hadn't expected a Slytherin girl to be pretty, and he didn't know what to think of a girl who supposedly liked him so cheerily dismissing Quidditch. "I mean," she said, "if I liked Quidditch, I wouldn't consider going out with you, now would I? You're Slytherin's worst rival on the pitch -- I know that much."

"Oh." Harry tried to absorb this. He considered noting that Draco didn't seem to mind, but decided to let that go. "What _do_ you like about me?" he asked.

Olivia looked slightly uncomfortable. She watched Draco for a minute. "Well, I...." She started again. "I can't claim I'm not affected by you being 'The-Boy-Who-Lived'. I don't think anyone who doesn't really know you can avoid that. But mostly, I just -- I think you're handsome, and Draco is more reasonable since I started seeing you together--"

"I don't think that's me."

"No?"

"The other way round, perhaps. I mean, perhaps we started getting along because he's more reasonable." 

"But you would have had to have noticed." When Harry nodded, she continued. "Some people just _don't_. I've been watching him, this term, and I've seen the difference between people who notice and people who don't. I prefer the ones who do."

Harry nodded again. That made sense. "So you're someone who notices, too."

Wordless, she nodded. Harry smiled slightly. "I like that, too."

"I didn't really notice _you_ until you started showing up with him. I knew who you were, of course -- Harry Potter, wonderful or terrible, depending who was talking --"

"And the latest round of news coverage."

She giggled. "Yes! But that first time you walked into lunch with him, I looked up and you were handsome, and you carried yourself so well...." She blushed. 

"Ah." Harry felt encouraged. She noticed him after he started changing, he realized. That was probably good. In the interest of fairness, he said, "I first noticed you when Hermione was lecturing me on the wizarding significance of hair length, and telling me I could grow-- No, that's wrong. I saw you, and pointed you out, and said wasn't it odd for a wizarding girl to have short hair? So she explained that the hair meant you weren't looking for a husband--"

"Not that I mind the idea. I'm just not to be bought." 

"Bought?"

"I don't have a set bride price."

"Oh!" Harry had run across the concept of bride price in the old play. It was like dowry, but paid from the groom's family to the bride's. "Is that still done?"

"Yes, of course! With half again as many wizards as witches, that's how the market runs."

"So you don't have a price?"

"Something would be set, of course. I wouldn't be so cruel to my family as to go for free. But also, I'm not necessarily looking for someone rich, or even a pureblood. I have my own plans; they don't depend on a husband."

"Mm." Harry liked the girl, he decided. "Good for you." 

"One's plans should be one's own."

"Yes."

"So what do _you_ want to do?"

Harry hesitated. "Beyond killing Voldemort, I don't know."

Olivia didn't wince or scold. She grinned. "Ambitious enough!" 

"Well, that's my job, at the moment. After that -- well, it hasn't seemed likely enough I'll live through that to bother planning more."

"Ugh!" She made a face at him. "So you are a Gryffindor, after all."

"Hm?"

"Attack first, think about it later."

"And then probably because someone's asking what happened -- right." Harry grinned at her. "You know -- thinking is a luxury reserved for those that live." 

"I hope you're joking." 

"Only a bit, really. I do charge into things." Harry shifted on the bench. "So, what are your plans-that-are-your-own?"

"I want to be Secretary of Control of Magical Creatures."

Harry felt his eyebrows shoot up. He swallowed and thought a moment before answering. "Officially, or by proxy?"

She glared. "Officially."

"Ambitious enough?"

"Yes."

Harry hesitated. "I _hate_ the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures," he admitted.

That startled her out of her offense. "Why?"

He looked in her eyes. They were a greyish-blue, with faint peaks radiating outwards, in a way that reminded him of short fur. "Remus Lupin is a good friend of mine." 

"Ah." Those eyes were briefly veiled by pale lids. The lashes were darker than Draco's, or perhaps magically tinted. "I'd like to see more consistency, myself." She sat back and began to gesture. "Some system based on intelligence, magical ability, and the frequency and degree of threat to normal wizards -- werewolves would do better by that, by the way -- rather than just degree of fear, which seems to be what's used now."

"How do you feel about House Elves?"

"Oh, don't tell me you want to free the House Elves!" 

"Not all of them, or even most, but I think the few that _want_ freedom should have it. At any rate, there should be some enforced minimum standard of treatment --"

"Now, minimum standard of treatment I can support!"

Harry laughed. "You know what?"

She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "What?" she challenged.

"I think I can put up with you for an evening." 

She leaned closer. He did the same. Her finger, laid across her lips, came between them. "Shhh."

"Hm?"

Her eyes darted up to the swooping form of Draco Malfoy. "Don't let on, or he'll know we're done."

They separated, both giggling. 

"All right," Harry said. "Big question. Voldemort?"

"Awful. Purebloods?"

"Depends on their behavior. Muggles?"

"Depends on their behavior."

"Will your family want to murder me, or lock you in a tower?"

"I'm not intending to let my family know. My mother would bury me in irritating tips on how to snare you into marriage. You may not be a pureblood, but you're rich, and famous, _and_ could well become politically powerful." 

"They'll know eventually."

"But after the ball. I'll claim we're not speaking, however it turned out." 

"Do you care about my parentage?"

Olivia paused. Her brow furrowed. "Not if you can behave."

"All right. Fancy dress?"

"I intend to."

"As what?"

"I hadn't quite decided. I thought I'd make up my mind this weekend, when we're in Hogsmeade. You?"

"It's a Muggle thing." Harry took a deep breath. "Some people will consider it a bit too -- um, sexy, or something. Will that offend you?"

"Oooo. I might like. Can I see it before I choose mine?" 

Harry stood up. "I suppose. Where would you like to meet?" 

"The Charms classroom, twenty minutes." 

Harry nodded. "Agreed." He glanced up at the sky as Olivia, also, got to her feet. "Shall we let him know we're ready?"

Olivia's eyes flickered to the Slytherin Seeker. "Let's."

They stepped forward, as one. Harry let his eyes close as their lips met. Hers were warm under his, first hard and insistent, then softening with a sigh that whispered through his mouth and out. He stroked his hands down her back, and she responded by moving closer than he would have believed possible, until her body was pressed against his own, and he wondered if it could actually be true that some girls didn't notice when boys were aroused. 

"Oh," she sighed. 

Someone nearby cleared his throat. Harry opened his eyes to see Draco hovering above the steps, looking very amused. 

"All sorted then?" 

Olivia pulled away. She managed to look self-possessed, even with her lips swollen and dark from kissing. "Except for reviewing his fancy dress, we seem to be."

"And that will be?"

"In twenty minutes."

"I will escort you."

Harry felt a bit irritated, but Olivia merely nodded. "How sweet of you, Draco. I appreciate that." 

Harry sent Draco a very ungrateful glower. "Thanks."

"You're quite welcome. Run along, now." Harry was half-way down the stairs before Draco added, at a yell, "And don't forget you're the Good Boy." 

 

Harry went down to the charms classroom in the Muggle outfit and his invisibility cloak. Since he was not wearing his robes, he included the thigh-sheath for his wand. He had to move slowly to be quiet in his boots, and Draco and Olivia were already in the room when he arrived. They turned as the door opened. Olivia started to rise when it closed again, but Draco caught at her wrist. 

"It's Harry. Right, Harry?"

Harry slipped the cloak from his shoulders. "Yeah." 

Olivia put a hand over her mouth. Draco stared. 

"Shit." He stood up, and took a few steps to one side, his eyes locked on Harry. "If I'd seen you in that, I might have invited you myself." 

"Draco...."

Draco grinned at the warning tone in Harry's voice. "Well, perhaps not," he said airily. "You may _look_ like sex on two legs, but I'll bet you don't put out." 

Olivia giggled suddenly. "Harry?"

"Yes?" Harry looked at her. "So what do _you_ think?"

"Stunning. Um ... would you mind if I dressed very properly? Not ... staid, you know, but a coming out dress?"

Harry shrugged. "That's fine, I suppose. We'll clash a bit, but...."

"No, no, it's _perfect._ The deb and the dangerous Muggle boy." She giggled. "Can you swagger?"

Draco snorted. "Please! He's a Gryffindor. He can swagger in his sleep."

 

Harry listened carefully from his room, then emerged into Severus's kitchen. He noticed, trying not to think about it too much, that portkey travel no longer left his heart hammering -- far worse was the sense of déjà vu when he saw Severus standing by his desk. 

He slipped off his cloak and stepped forward uncertainly. "Hello, sir?'

Severus whirled. His voice struck fast and low. " _Why_ do you still call me that?"

"I...." Harry was startled by both the question and its intensity. "Because you wanted me to?" He thought back to the summer. "The ... going up to dinner...."

"This is not that sort of discussion."

"I ... I'm never certain what sort it is."

Severus sighed and rubbed his hands over his temples. "Never mind. It's not important. Come sit down. Wine?"

"Yes, sir." Harry stopped. "I mean ... I ... thank you, yes." He knew his awkwardness was making things worse, somehow, but didn't know what to do about it. He sat nervously by the fire and pulled his bare feet up beside him before reaching out to take the wine. Severus shifted restlessly, then abruptly sat, also. He cleared his throat. 

"I ... I apologize for hitting you. That was inappropriate." 

Harry felt himself heat. "S'alright."

"It is _not_ all right."

"Well it's...." Harry tried to think about it. "You weren't too angry. It wasn't like Uncle Vernon would get. Not that he usually hit me, but ... I wasn't afraid you'd do anything worse." 

That wasn't right either. Severus stared at him with a cold intensity that was worse than any of his fits. "If that hideous shrew and her ... her _pigs_ were still alive, I would kill them."

Harry tried to look amused. "Thank you." 

This, also, did not lighten the mood. Harry cast around for something else to say. "I'm sorry for implying --"

"Did you really think I would be _pleased?"_

"I...." Harry thought back. "No. Relieved, perhaps, but I knew ... there wasn't any way to please you. That's what I had started to try to explain to her -- I've got in a tangle of relationships with people who don't like, or don't approve of, or don't know how to deal with, each other, and there's no solution to it. Ron hates you and Draco, and you hate Remus, and you're not comfortable with Hermione, and Draco thinks she's beneath me, and you and Draco -- which you'd think would work -- you and Draco don't even approve of each other, and Hermione and Remus disapprove of him -- and maybe you, though they never say that." 

Severus looked away. His voice came out very quiet. "Perhaps you should do what you think is right."

Harry stared. After a moment, he managed to find a logical objection. "And let you kill him?"

"I retract my threat."

"Too late. He won't talk to me now." Harry realized he was clutching his glass so tightly that the liquid in it was shaking in little waves. He took a quick swallow of the wine, then set the glass down. "He says it's not safe, but I also think he doesn't like me, anymore." Severus looked as if he might speak, but Harry cut him off. "Oh, he _loves_ me, I know. But I'm starting to suspect that's not the same. That's all guilt and obligation and memory -- it's not me." 

Severus looked at the fire. When he spoke, his voice was soft and distant. 

"I suspect Remus _likes_ you a good deal. However, I don't think you will be safe, because of this. I was not, and -- quite apart from being his paramour -- he _did_ like me." 

"He can't do anything to me unless it's the full moon."

"Not true. He could subject you to any number of potions, devices, or even hexes that would summon you back at that time."

"So you _don't_ want me to visit him."

Severus gritted his teeth. "I do not." He took a deep breath in, then let it out in a rush. "However, it should be your decision."

"What!"

"I will not harm either of you."

Harry buried his face in his hands. "Please don't do this to me. I don't have any idea what you want...." He shrugged and lifted his head. "It doesn't matter. He won't." 

"Because of me?"

Harry hesitated. For a brief moment, he considered relaying the gist of Remus's warning, but he decided that would not be safe for Remus. "I don't think so," he said.

Severus nodded slightly and sat back. Harry took a sip of his wine and tried to consider the taste. It was different, clearly, from the ones he had tried previously, but he didn't think he could describe how. He wondered if he could distract Severus by asking. Before he could phrase the question, Severus shifted. 

"I spoke to Hermione."

Harry narrowly avoided spitting out a second mouthful of wine. He got it down, but spent a while coughing. 

"I had not realized it was that incredible."

"Sorry! Just ... startled."

"I told her I had not managed to speak to you, and I wished to know what happened."

"Oh." Harry winced. "What did she say?"

"She implied you brought up the matter of her ancestry; she said that you were not insulting, _per se,_ but she was frightened and offended that it would matter to you. Also, that she had realized that it had to matter to you, if it mattered to me, and Draco, and ... Fudge."

"Oh." Harry was frightened by the distaste with which Severus spoke Fudge's name. The association was obviously a matter of some offense. "Well, it's really superficial that it matters to Fudge. I mean, I don't care about his opinion; I'm just trying to manipulate him."

"I _had_ noticed that. And me?"

Harry looked down at the dark stone floor. "You matter." 

"I had said she was acceptable." 

"Yes, but ... you're not comfortable with it." Harry looked up. "I wasn't trying to drive her off, I was just trying to explain that it was _complicated._ And to make it clear that I'm not comfortable in the Muggle world -- being raised there the way I was isn't enough for that." 

"Oh." Curiosity seemed to be the way to cut Severus's mood. He tilted his head slightly to study Harry. "Which world do you like better?"

"Oh, the wizarding one, definitely."

"But you keep ... ties. You like Muggle things." 

Harry thought about the time he had taken Ron and Hermione into Muggle London. It had been fine for Hermione, of course. At the first street crossing, however, Harry had looked over and seen Ron's face -- so pale that all the freckles stood out, and his eyes wide and darting nervously back and forth. Harry had pretended not to notice, but had shifted reassuringly closer. At the same time, he had looked at it anew: crowded, narrow sidewalks, with cars rumbling past on one side, and on the other stone buildings packed one against the next, all at least three stories tall, with some as tall as Hogwarts in the distance. He had listened to the engines, the voices, the horns, and the snatches of music seeping out of doorways. Lastly, he had breathed in the air -- it smelled of car exhaust and damp stone saturated with centuries of soot and ground-in detritus. Now and then they passed through pockets of other odors -- cigarette smoke, perfumes, and various foods: yeast and caramelized sugar from the bakeries, meat and oil and ginger from the Chinese restaurants, and coriander and cumin from the Indian ones, all mixed with other, subtler scents.

Back at Diagon Alley, he paid attention to the same details -- the mix of voices and running feet, of hooting owls and meowing cats, of wooden things that moved and creaked. He could not smell the cars, here, but the sharp scent of wood smoke and the musk of animals took its place. The damp stone here, also, smelled of centuries of the things soaked into it, as well as of itself, but different substances had permeated the wizarding street. It was not as purely rock and must as the Hogwarts dungeons, but still less acrid than Muggle London. There were pockets here, too -- the pub, the apothecary -- with their own blend of diverse scents. 

"Well?"

"What? Oh." Harry had no idea how to explain the appeal of walking confidently by the roaring cars with a wand in his pocket. "I like being able to wander on the edge, I think."

Severus snorted. "And we know who dances on the cliff top."

"It's not a cliff, though. More like a little brook. But I can jump over, for cigarettes and anonymity, and blend in for a few hours, then come back where I'm ... well, not safe, but at least only in danger from my enemies, and with a good life, really." Harry pulled his shoulders in. "The bad part is not belonging on either side."

"You belong here." 

Harry shrugged, dismissing his father's fierce declaration. "Not really."

"You _do._ Anyone can tell that, as soon as you mount a broom. Each time you lift your wand in a fight...." Severus closed his eyes a moment. "I can tell when you are brewing, sometimes -- you concentrate on the perfect moment...."

"And you want it to be true."

"If you want it to be, it is." Severus shook his head. "How can you not feel that you belong here?"

"I don't understand it."

"Of course you don't! You're sixteen! Do you think you're the only sixth-year who doesn't understand social nuance?"

"Draco--"

"Draco was raised to politics, and he's _still_ confused!"

Harry shrugged again, though the words were reassuring. "Still, I think I'm a bit more lost than wizard-born--"

"You _are_ wizard born."

"But--"

"Your father is a wizard; your mother was a witch. That is all "wizard-born" means. You are wizard-born, however you were raised." 

"All right. Well, wizard _-raised,_ then--"

 

The evening went on, never quite comfortable, but steadily less tense. When Harry started yawning every few sentences, Severus stood up.

"It's late. Drink a glass of water and go back to Gryffindor."

Harry stumbled to his feet, yawning again. "Water?"

"So the wine doesn't give you a headache." Severus gingerly took Harry's shoulders and turned him around. Harry found this unaccountably funny, and decided it must be _quite_ late. 

He felt a gentle push on his back. 

"Go on, now, or you'll sleep right through Hogsmeade."


	73. Gifts and Fears

 

Harry, Ron, and Hermione skipped breakfast on Saturday. It wasn't that they were not hungry -- it was that they wanted to map the road to Hogsmeade, and avoiding scrutiny meant either going in after the rest of the students, or leaving before them. Hermione promised the reluctant Ron his choice of cakes when they arrived, and they set off, mapping the grounds about them as they walked. 

Privacy, of course, had other benefits. Harry didn't trust it enough to risk Severus, but there were other confidential matters to discuss. 

"How are things going with Shadow?" he asked. 

Hermione nodded. She looked a bit embarrassed. "I'm unusually good at the perception," she said, almost apologetically, "but average at control -- that means I'm not doing very well at it, yet. And it was really foolish of us to pick an animal with such poor vision." 

Ron snorted. "As if we expected this! And _you_ picked him."

"I can summon him, though." Hermione ignored Ron's pointed reply. "So the next step is letting him wander, and seeing how well the sight works when I'm connecting at a distance, not knowing where he is. That starts this evening -- we're releasing him from Dumbledore's office."

"And the rats? And toads? How's Neville going to feel if Trevor gets eaten!"

"Dumbledore hexed Shadow so that he can't attack an animal bonded to a person. He can defend himself, though."

 

After Ron had eaten two huge iced buns and Harry and Hermione had custard tarts, then split one of the iced buns, and Harry and Ron had got tea, and Hermione, on impulse, coffee, they began to consider other activities. More students were arriving now -- they walked past the windows alone, or in pairs, or in clusters. Harry felt a kinship of shared experience towards his friends as he watched a group of third-years pass. 

"Look awfully young, don't they?" Ron commented.

Hermione giggled. "As did we, I'm sure."

"But we were all grown up!" Ron exclaimed. "Old enough to go to _Hogsmeade."_

Harry laughed. "Well, we're older, now. I think we should go get presents for our dates." 

Ron made a face. "Oh. Lavender will expect that, won't she?"

"Draco says it's important." 

"Oh!" Ron scowled. "Well if _Draco says...._ "

Hermione intervened. "I once read an essay about how that tradition was a play version of bride price, so it might matter more to Draco."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked. 

"Well, the purebloods take bride price very seriously--"

"Other wizards don't?"

"My mum married for love," Ron exclaimed; "she says girls shouldn't be _bought."_

Harry remembered Olivia, with her short hair, saying she wouldn't be so cruel to her family as to go for free. "It can still be for love," he said. Belatedly, he realized that with six boys, Ron's mum and dad could hardly be expected to contribute to a son's bride price; Ron would be on his own for that. 

"It's medieval," Ron said testily.

Harry, hoping to refocus the conversation, paused in reaching for his rain-damp cloak. He turned to Hermione. "How does that work? The gifts, I mean. Do you both get out of it because neither of you is a boy, or do you both have to do it because your partner is a girl?

Hermione, after a moment of silent shock, giggled helplessly and slid half-out of her chair. 

"Good point," Ron said solemnly. "How _does_ that work?"

Clearing her throat, Hermione struggled to stand and gather cloak and dignity about her. "Well, I suppose it depends on the girls. I think I will get her a present -- after all, that will be easy. She's a girl." She broke into giggles again.

" _You_ may think buying a present for a girl is easy...." Even Harry had to chuckle at the gloom in Ron's voice. "I'm going with Lavender. She'll expect perfection." 

"Can't see _that,_ if she settled for you," Harry teased. He twitched back, grinning, from Ron's lunge, and Ron, after glaring at him for a second, accepted the comment as friendly.

"Oh, all right," he said. "But I better make it good. Will you help, Hermione?"

 

Hermione led them to a shop with jewelry and other pretty little things. A free-standing wall down the center of the shop doubled its space for hanging goods and narrow shelves. Every inch of the space was in use. Harry paused a few steps in to test the scent of the place -- a spicy musk that lent the glittering bracelets and silk scarves an exotic air. He picked up a narrow vial that shimmered with shifting pink and blue. He thought it looked like something from the lab of a rather girly mad scientist. 

"What's this?"

"Makeup."

Harry put it down again. "Oh."

"Very nice makeup."

"Yes but ... that's rather personal, isn't it? I don't know what she wears." Harry thought back to Olivia in the stands. "Nothing like that, I think."

"She will for the ball, believe me." Hermione nodded. "But you're right -- she should pick that sort of thing out herself. Even an adaptive one like that needs to go with her skin tones the right way."

Harry moved on to the scarves and looked through them, trying to picture Olivia's coloring. She was blond, but not as pale as Malfoy. He could picture the soft blue of her eyes quite clearly, but wasn't as clear on her hair -- did it have a gold tone to it, or was it just sandy? 

"Slytherins!" Ron muttered, and Harry glanced through the cluttered display out the window, and saw a group of Slytherin girls, including Olivia. He stepped quickly to the far side of the wall and gestured at Hermione and Ron. When he had caught their attention, he held a finger up in front of his lips. Hermione frowned and Ron shrugged, but both nodded.

The girls trouped in. They squealed and giggled over pretty things in much the same way as Gryffindor girls did, Harry thought. He tried to watch Olivia through a crack in the display wall, but often part of another girl was in his way. 

"And what about your mystery boy, Olivia?" a singsong voice teased. "What will he get you?"

Harry saw Olivia shrug. She had a blue-green velvet scarf draped over her shoulder and was stroking it longingly. "A mystery," she replied lightly. She leaned over the counter. "Shall I tell Andrew you fancy those earrings?' 

A dark-haired girl sighed. "A bit beyond him. I like to know he values me, but I'd hope he wouldn't be an idiot about it. I can't waste time on him if he is." She looked at the scarf that Olivia was still petting. "Those are pretty. Is there one in pink?"

"No, they're all dark."

"Here, Justina," said another girl. "How about this hairband?"

 

By the time the girls left, Harry was quite certain Olivia wanted the velvet scarf. For a few minutes, he was afraid she'd buy it herself, but she left with the others when one announced it was time to hunt down some chocolate. The door closed behind them with a jingle of bells. 

"Finally!" Ron exclaimed. Harry darted out and found the scarf. It was very pretty -- a thick silk velvet, dyed with mingled green and gold and burnt down the middle with an ivy pattern. 

"Lovely, don't you think?" he asked Hermione. "It's only six galleons, though -- should I get her a pin for it?"

Hermione's eyes narrowed. "You're going with one of those Slytherin girls?"

"The short-haired one. Her name's Olivia."

"What?" Ron looked wildly between the two of them. "Harry, you can't! Hermione, dump the stupid girl and tell Harry you'll go with him!"

Hermione and Harry looked at each other. "I wouldn't," both said spontaneously. 

Harry laughed. "Well, glad that's settled. Relax, Ron -- she's not a Voldemort supporter, or anything."

"She's a Slytherin!"

"Is she a pureblood?" Hermione asked. She tried to make it a joke, but her voice caught. Harry shrugged. He rather wished he could say he didn't know. 

"Yes, apparently. I've forgotten exactly what Draco said about it." 

"Does y-- a certain man approve?" Hermione asked.

"Don't know -- I haven't told him." Harry turned to the jewelry, and found scarf clasps. He busied himself with asking about prices and materials and shut out his friends' disapproval completely. Eventually, Ron leaned close. 

"I'm bored, here. Catch us up at Fiero's, next door?"

Harry nodded. "I'll just be a moment." 

Once they had left, he bought the scarf and a clasp, along with a present for Hermione -- a wide hair slide of fine, golden wood, inlaid with vines of abalone and flowers of mother of pearl. He hurried next door. 

Fiero's sold tools and things for around the house. Ron was looking at something in the back cabinet. Harry started over to him, but was distracted by a display of knives under a glass counter. He leaned over it to look. One particular blade of gleaming steel, with a hilt wrapped in gold wire, was so starkly beautiful that it made him shiver.

"Looking for a knife, are you?" a young man asked from behind the counter. "Fighting, utility, cooking, potions, or ritual use?"

"Um ... Does it matter?"

"Well, these are mostly utility knives. Some are charmed to cut a particular thing well -- like cloth, or wood -- or to not cut a particular thing -- like your skin, if you miss. Obviously, that's no good in a fight."

Harry gestured at the shining double-edged knife with the gold hilt. "What about that one?"

"Ah. That's a fine one for a gardener. Both blades are charmed to remain sharp for at least ten years. The narrow one is primed for wood, and the wider one for green plants, but either will cut anything you can usually put a blade to -- except living flesh -- or perhaps it's human flesh -- I'd need to check. At any rate, it won't cut the wielder."

"May I see it?" 

The young man lifted the blade from the cabinet. He had a pleasant, wide face, with rich auburn hair and a short beard of the same shade. It wasn't until he was passing the knife over that he noticed Harry's scar. 

"You'll be Harry Potter?"

"That's right."

"Didn't know you were interested in growing things."

"Oh, a friend of mine is." Harry could not conceal, however, his mindless desire for this particular knife. He ran his finger along the blade, first gently, then hard. It did not cut him. He held a few hairs half-taut and touched the blade to them. The blade cut through. Harry felt his face move with a strange smile. 

"I'll take it."

"No good in a fight, remember."

"I know. I'll take it."

"The charms can be changed to some extent, but what is embedded in the steel will stay."

"I'll keep that in mind. This is perfect, for now, really."

"Good then. Will you be wanting a sheath?"

"I suppose."

"Belt, boot, chest, or thigh?"

 

Harry had just decided on a red leather belt sheath embossed in gold spirals, when Ron pushed up next to him. 

"What are you getting?"

"A knife."

"A knife! Why?"

"Because it's gorgeous." Harry smiled at Ron. "What were you looking at?"

Ron shrugged. "Nothing, really."

"Show me."

"It's just some things Mum might like."

"So _show_ me."

 

Harry ended up buying one of the things Ron had been looking at. It was a glass flower vase that changed its size and shape to accommodate the flowers put in it, and would complain when it ran low on water. He persuaded Ron that they could send it as a present from both of them. 

"It's your money," Ron argued. "It's from you."

"It's your _idea,_ nitwit. I never know what to get her. Shall we save it for Christmas?"

Out on the street, he showed Ron and Hermione the knife. "Sharp as a razor," he said, "but it won't cut people."

"What good is that?" Ron asked, disgusted. 

"It's not like you cook," Hermione added. "Or do crafts." 

"Well, let's see." Harry sidled up to Hermione and slid his shoulder along hers. His voice dropped. "I could ... cut off your clothes." Hermione's breath caught. Harry traced his finger lightly from her collarbone to her opposite ribs, crossing daringly over the edge of one breast. "One slice here...."

"Harry!" Hermione's voice squeaked. She pulled away and ducked to the other side of Ron, but she was flushed and Harry could hear each breath she let out. He laughed raggedly.

"There. It just takes a bit of imagination." He met Ron's wide-eyed incredulity with a quick grin. "Who's for the Three Broomsticks, then?"

Hermione frowned. "Will you behave?"

"What fun is that?"

"I'm not your girlfriend."

"I know. I still like to make you pant." 

"Don't you think that's a bit offensive?"

"I don't know. Are you enjoying it?" Harry frowned. "I think offensive would be if I presumed that doing this meant I could do more, or doing this today meant I could do it tomorrow. You tend to be clear if you're not in the mood." 

Hermione sighed. "It's just... I... that was too much, Harry." She turned an even brighter red. "And people will get the wrong idea."

Harry shrugged. "They do that anyway, don't they?" He put an arm companionably on her shoulder. "All right, now?"

She bumped against him, pushing him slightly off balance, and reached out for Ron on her other side. "All right." 

 

The main room of the Three Broomsticks was crowded and cheery. Harry was just bringing them all bottles of butterbeer when he spotted a familiar woman in the corner -- Remus's fostered werewolf, Selena Forest. She was sitting exactly where she had sat the time he had seen them together. 

Back at the table with Ron and Hermione, he gestured to the side with his head. "Let's sit at the other end."

"I don't want to get up!" Ron complained.

Harry jutted his chin towards the corner. "I've got someone I want to keep an eye on." He went stubbornly back to the other end of the table, where he could see the werewolf, and sat down. Ron and Hermione moved over to join him. 

 

They were halfway through their drinks, and Forest was still alone, when someone approached their table. 

"Hermione?"

Harry looked up. A girl about their age was standing by the table. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Harry judged her to be about his size, possibly an inch or two taller, with some added width that was mostly in generous breasts and moderate hips. 

Hermione jumped up. "Lydia! Um, Harry, Ron, this is Lydia." 

Harry stood up and shook the girl's hand. Ron, rather more reluctantly, followed suit. 

"Glad to meet you," Lydia said politely.

"Likewise," Harry said cheerfully. 

Ron frowned. He stepped back from the handshake and crossed his arms over his chest. "Look ... I don't know what I'm supposed to say to a girl, but if you were a man, I'd be warning you that if you hurt her, I'll see to it you regret it."

Harry sniggered. "So consider yourself warned, and all that. Not that Hermione can't take care of herself."

Lydia, who had looked uneasy at Ron's words, smiled at Harry. Harry jerked his head at Ron. "He's the jealous one." He let that sit for a moment, then looked sidelong at her. "I'm the dangerous one." 

Lydia's eyes widened. Hermione slapped Harry's arm. "Harry!"

"Well, it's true, isn't it?"

"Could you _try_ to be polite?"

Harry laughed. "I am pulling a bit of a James, aren't I?" He winked at Lydia. "No threat intended -- just if you intend to see her, you'll end up seeing quite a bit of us, and you might as well learn how it works." 

"Does it work?" Lydia challenged

Harry nodded. "Oddly, yes. Not always smoothly, but it works. In August, we made a pact -- none of us would date anyone that wouldn't tolerate the others." He grinned. "So, consider yourself warned." 

"Oh." Lydia looked nervously at Hermione. From the other side, Harry gave his friend a nudge. 

"All right, then -- we've said hello and done our duty. Is the girl having a seat, or are you running off with her?"

Hermione blushed. "Um ... maybe Lydia and I should sit somewhere else -- I've spent all morning with the two of you."

"Fine, then." Harry nudged her again, in silent affection. "See you in Gryffindor." 

 

He sat back down and watched the two move off. He was just deciding that they made a pretty pair when Ron hit him on the arm. 

"What?"

Ron looked oddly scornful. "You never actually wanted her, did you?"

"What? Of course I did." Harry suppressed a wistful twinge of longing. "Still do, a bit."

"Give it up! If you wanted her, you'd be jealous."

"I don't think that follows." Harry watched Lydia blush as she leaned forward to whisper to Hermione. "I mean, look at her! I can't get jealous of _that!_ She's pretty." 

"Oh, you want her, too?"

Harry laughed and tried to push down a shudder of enthusiasm. "Wouldn't say no. Doubt either one's the type, though." He looked back at Ron, and was distracted by a movement beyond him. "Heads up!" he hissed.

Ron just had time to look around before Selena arrived at their table.

"Hello, Ron," she said. She smiled at Harry. "And you would be Harry Potter." 

Harry was tempted to greet her by name. In the nick of time, he realized that would endanger Remus. Adopting an air of tolerant patience, he said: 

"Right. Have we met?"

"Um, Harry, this is Professor Lupin's, um, friend, Miss Forest," Ron said. 

Harry thought Ron could have sounded a bit more convincing, but at least he had picked up on the basic idea.

Harry looked thoughtfully at Selena, as if he was trying to remember something. He nearly held out his hand before remembering he was supposed to be distrustful of Remus. He drew his lips momentarily tight, then said politely, "Remus and I are not on the best of terms, at the moment." 

"Please," she said, leaning forward over the table. "Remus needs all the friends he can get. And he always speaks well of you." 

All the jealousy he hadn't felt about Lydia surged in him now. _Apparently, I can get jealous of a girl, if it's not romantic._

He may have grimaced; he wasn't sure. She drew back in a way that made him feel ashamed, as if he had been cruel to her. Harry decided she had less experience at subterfuge than he did, and for a moment, he felt a strange sense of kinship with her. He wondered if she cared for Remus as much as he did.

"Well, I need to run, now. If you see him, tell him I missed his company, will you?"

Harry nodded consent, and Selena left. For a full minute, Harry just sat and let his pounding heartbeat settle. 

"Harry?" Ron was staring at him. 

"I was wrong," Harry said. "I can get jealous of a girl." 

Ron looked confused. 

"Remus," Harry tried to explain. "Remus protects her." 

Ron shrugged. "He doesn't seem to like her much. Anyway, why would you care?"

"He is _my_ patron," Harry said testily. He noticed belatedly that he had used Draco's word for the relationship. "My protector." He slumped sulkily down in his chair. "And he loves her." He reached for his butterbeer. 

If he hadn't been moodily staring at the bottle as he lifted it, he might have missed the dark mass at the bottom. As it was, he held the bottle between his face and the fireplace, slowly tipping it this way and that while he watched the liquid carefully.

"Oy, mate -- you all right?"

"Fine." Harry put down the bottle. In a light tone, as if relating a bit of gossip, he said, "There's a capsule at the bottom of my bottle. It hasn't fully melted yet. Shall we move on, do you think?"

Ron glanced in the direction of the door. "You think she --"

"Or an accomplice nearby, while she had us distracted. Come on."

Reluctantly, Ron stood. He made a move to drain his own butterbeer, then hesitated. 

"Probably safe," Harry said, "but better not."

"Yeah."

 

They were a few steps out onto the street, and Harry at a loss for what to do next, when Ron suddenly caught at his shoulder. 

"Harry!" 

Harry recognized the tense sound that Ron's voice acquired when he had just figured something out. He was instantly alert. 

"Yes?"

"Hermione's with Lydia."

"So?"

"So? So we can go to the Hog's Head, and get firewhisky. Bet you anything they'll sell it to us."

Harry let his breath out slowly. "Ron. Someone just tried to poison me, or dose me with some potion. There are at least half a dozen things we _cannot_ be careless enough to mention in public. I don't think going and getting drunk is really a good idea."

"We don't have to get really drunk. We'll just have one -- it can't be _that_ strong." 

"And if we relax too much?"

"We set it up beforehand, all right? The problem is when you're looking around for things to talk about, it's easy to pick the wrong one. So if we just decide now that we'll only talk about girls, we should be okay."

Harry was not entirely sure of this. _On the other hand, I'm fairly used to wine, now. It shouldn't be too bad._

"Come on -- you think acting like a girl is going to get you Hermione back?"

"I am not acting like a girl!"

"Girl," Ron taunted. 

"I am not-- oh, all right, we'll get firewhisky." Harry glared. "But just one, and if I think you're losing control, we leave, no arguments." 

"All right."

Harry hadn't taken two steps before he decided he had been incredibly foolish to concede. _Even if it isn't any worse than wine, I'm still risking getting killed. Going there is bad enough -- there won't be any teachers there -- but being anything less than completely alert is just idiotic. I shouldn't be letting him goad me into this._

He had a sudden unpleasant memory of Snape taunting Sirius. _And Sirius got himself killed acting just like this. And Ron actually likes me -- he'll get over it if I stand up to him. And if I do go, and we get caught, I'll hear much worse from my father -- and deserve it more._

Inside the Hog's Head, he inclined his head towards the tables. "Grab us some seats. I'll deal with the barman." 

Ron hurried off. The momentary stares from the other patrons turned back to their drinks, or the door. Harry walked up to the bar. 

"Firewhisky, please," he said.

The barman looked at him. Harry, as before, thought he looked oddly familiar. "Just one?"

"One, yes."

"Which?"

Harry hesitated. He wasn't sure how, or even if, "firewhisky" was distinct from "whisky" but he knew there were hundreds of different Muggle whiskies, so it made sense that there would be different kinds of wizarding ones, as well. He rapidly scanned the bottles behind the bar for the word, and an interesting five-sided one on the top shelf caught his attention. He pointed. "That." He read the name off the label, quite sure he was mangling the obviously Gaelic words. 

The barman's eyes widened to nearly open. He shrugged. "If you've got the money," he said. When Harry's only response was a cold stare, he shrugged again, and poured the amber liquid into a surprisingly clean glass. "One galleon, two sickles," he said. 

Harry kept his face carefully blank as he handed over two galleons and waited for his change.

He set the glass down by Ron, then slid into the chair across from him. "There you go. Firewhisky. The good stuff, too, I think."

Ron's eyes narrowed. "Wasn't planning on sharing." 

"Neither was I." Harry leaned back. "Go ahead."

"What, you're not having any?" Ron sounded indignant.

"Right."

"You really have lost your nerve, haven't you?"

A cold anger settled in Harry's gut. "I've decided to grow up. Now have your damn whisky, and _I'll_ make sure we don't get killed." 

 

Ron argued and taunted, but eventually gave in. Harry caught an amused glance from an old woman at a nearby table, and found it cheering. He sent a quick smile back at her. He considered getting himself a butterbeer, but when he looked up at the bar, the old man had vanished. 

Ron looked at his glass. "This is better than I expected." He took a small swallow, and his eyes widened then scrunched closed. Harry grinned. 

"Like I said, I think it's the good stuff. It was in a weird bottle up on the top shelf."

Ron pushed it over. "Taste?"

"Some other time."

Ron shrugged and had more himself. After a moment, he shifted uneasily in his seat. 

"I don't like the way you treat Hermione."

Harry was taken aback by this sudden pronouncement. He blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean the way you have your hands all over her until she runs away."

Harry snorted. "My hands haven't been _nearly_ all over her."

"But you keep grabbing her, and ... and saying things. I don't believe you're in love, so don't even try to tell me that." 

Harry shrugged. "I'm just teasing. I like getting her hot and bothered."

"I think she deserves a little more respect than that."

"I respect her!" Harry felt this was utterly unfair. "It wouldn't be nearly as much fun if I didn't. And _I'm_ not the one who uses 'girl' as an insult." 

"You're treating her like a toy!"

"I'm treating her like a playmate." Harry felt his face heat. "I mean, it's like tickling. I come on to her, she laughs and squirms away.... We're practicing, I suppose. It doesn't mean anything."

"Well it should."

Harry forced a smirk. "Ronald Weasley, you are an absolute prude. And you're not fooling anybody but yourself with that drink." 

"This is important, Harry!"

"Why?"

"I love her!"

Harry fell back in his chair. "Please tell me you mean that platonically." 

Ron took a deep breath. "No. I don't think I do. I want her back." 

Harry lunged forward. "You're going to the ball with Lavender!" he hissed.

"So?"

"So now who's being disrespectful?"

"Look, I can't ... She wouldn't go with me any way. You know that...."

"And a damned good thing!" Harry sat up and thumped the table with a fist. "She's a horrible girlfriend--"

"Take that back!"

"Look, she a good friend, all right? And a brilliant ally. But as a girlfriend, she won't stay out of anything!"

"And no reason she should. That's her job, right? To keep m-- whomever -- out of trouble."

"Oh, so you're _supposed_ to be an idiot and you need some girl to keep you in line? Well, go right ahead then! She's perfect! But the first thing she's going to tell you is that you are going to the ball with Lavender, and you are damn well going to treat her decently."

"Well, why not? _She's_ going with that bloody Amazon--"

"Lydia isn't any bigger than I am, and she certainly didn't look like a fighter." 

"She's too big for a girl."

"Ron!"

Ron's eyes, however, went suddenly wide. He was staring behind Harry with an expression of terrified horror on his face. Instantly, Harry twisted off the chair, drawing his wand. He found himself looking back at the door and, rather than the expected cluster of Death Eaters, Hagrid. Hagrid strode forward. Harry managed to be back in his chair by the time the big man reached them.

"Wha' d'yeh think yeh're doin', Harry?"

"Watching Ron drink. What does it look like?"

Hagrid hesitated and scanned the table. "Nothin' fer yerself?"

"Do I look stupid? If I want whisky, I'll have some back in Hogwarts, where I'm safe." 

A broad grin split Hagrid's face. "Well, tha's good." He set a hand on Ron's shoulder. "Now ge' up, lad. I'm takin' both of yeh back to Professor McGonagall."

"Oh, come on," Harry pleaded. "I've been looking after him -- really I have." 

"And yeh'll be in less trouble than he is, I'm sure. But I won' be leaving yeh here."

"What if we leave?" Harry offered.

"Harry, I can' keep i' from her! She'll be hearing from someone, believe tha'."

"Could you wait until the end of the day, at least? We haven't even been to Honeydukes, yet."

An uncertain look crossed Hagrid's face. Finally, he nodded. "All righ' then. Up an' outta here, and if I see yeh back in here, I'm trottin' yeh back t'school and straigh' to the headmaster's office. An' I do tell your Head o' House tonigh'." 

"Thanks." 

 

On the street, Harry studied Ron. His friend looked resentful, more than anything else. 

"Let's go to Gladrags," Harry suggested. "You could use a new cloak."

"I don't want more clothing, Harry."

"We were going to spend a bit of my fortune, though, remember?"

" _Not_ on clothes."

Harry rolled his eyes. "God forbid you should look nice for Lavender."

"I have perfectly fine dress robes, thank you."

"Well, what am I supposed to spend money on, then? Do you want a crystal knife? A gold cauldron?"

Ron shot him an angry look. "Tell you what -- you can spend as much as you like on me as long as it's at Zonko's and Honeydukes." 

Harry took in a long breath. "Fine," he said. "As many little boy presents as you wish." 

For all that, they had fun once they were in Honeydukes. Harry couldn't fathom why anyone with a line to the twins would bother with Zonko's, but he bought everything that caught Ron's fancy. On the way back to school, they were playing with masks that morphed at every change of expression to a caricature of what the mask found in one's own face. Near the gates, Ron's became very serious. 

"You only have two looks, now, you know: contempt and amusement."

"In this conversation." Harry forced a scowl, and Ron stepped back, gasping. Harry grinned. "I can still do fury." 

"Fuck, yes." Ron was still catching his breath. Harry pulled his mask off quickly. 

"You all right?"

Ron nodded and took off his mask as well. "Yeah. I think I've had enough of these, though."

 


	74. Carelessness

 

"You have detention for what?" Hermione asked, her voice incredulous. 

"Ron wanted to go try firewhisky at the Hog's Head." Harry rearranged his cards. "Since, he noted, _you_ were out of the way."

"And you went along with it?"

"Yes, but I refused to drink anything. So he has five nights' detention, but I only have two. And I think McGonagall's actually pleased with me, though she can't say so, of course."

"If that's pleased, I'd hate to see angry," Ron snapped.

"Angry was Saturday night, and you'd have seen it if you looked. She was all right, tonight -- when she was looking just at me, anyway. She's bloody annoyed at you." 

Ron slumped. "I'm going to get a Howler from Mum -- I know I will."

"And you'll deserve it!" Hermione said tartly. 

Harry tossed down a card. "At the risk of sounding like a _girl_ \-- she's right, you know."

"Oh, stow it!" 

"All right. Won't mention it again." Harry considered his hand. "Shall we get together in private, tomorrow? Our usual place?"

Ron looked furtively around. "All right," he said casually. "After breakfast?"

"Sounds good. Hermione?"

"I suppose. I might need to bring some work along." 

This time it was Ron's eyes that Harry met in empathy. 

"We don't mind, Hermione. It's part of your unique charm." 

"What?"

"You wouldn't be _you_ if you didn't study compulsively. Bring anything you want." 

 

 

"I wish I could get him in fancy dress."

They were in the Room of Requirement. Harry had just concentrated on a place to talk, and they had ended up with a room with a large fireplace and a row of tall windows along the side wall. Harry was lying on a sheepskin in a patch of bright sunlight and looking up at Hermione, who was sitting in a cozy armchair writing on a lapdesk. 

Ron, his long body stretched out by the fire, made a strangled noise. Hermione's eyes lit up. 

"Oh -- remember how you said Remus called him "dear hawk? What about a hawk costume? You could attach feathers to a cape, and--"

"And of course you have hundreds of feathers lying around."

Hermione frowned at Ron. "Owl feathers, yes. We could use the By Class spell to transfig--"

"But," Harry interrupted, "it would not be normal behavior for him to do that, and he needs to behave normally."

"Oh." Hermione sat back. 

Ron grinned. "Too bad, when you put it like that -- watching everyone else stare would have been fun."

"Oh, just wait another day for that."

"Oh?"

Harry smiled nervously. "Well, think. On the first of November, probably at dinner, everybody will find out, and if they don't then, it will be in the papers the next morning."

Ron's eyes widened. "Rough."

"I'm looking forward to it, actually -- well not them finding out, but them knowing -- having it over with and not having to sneak around so much." Harry sniggered. "And if I prepare myself properly ... it _could_ be funny. I suppose that's the way to think about it." 

Hermione's watch chimed and she looked at it anxiously. "It's time for me to try checking on Shadow. Could you two be quiet while I get into the trance? It doesn't matter once I'm under it." 

Harry nodded. "Go ahead."

Hermione put aside her work, straightened her back, and let out a shaky breath, then began to breathe slowly and deliberately. Harry found it entertaining to watch her do the trance properly, considering how he had found her sprawled on the floor during her first experiment. He waited until she was clearly under before daring to look at Ron.

"Has she found him yet?" Ron whispered.

Harry nodded. "Not the last two times, but the one before that. She doesn't get him if he's asleep, and he sleeps a lot, really."

"Couldn't they cast a status spell on him?"

"If they do that, he's broadcasting, or something, and he can be detected by magic. As it is now, he's a completely normal ferret, except for when she links to him." 

"I still think having a ferret is weird." Ron took a Chocolate Frog out of his bag and turned the unopened package over and over in his hands. "Speaking of which -- how's the ferret?"

Harry shrugged. "Fine, I suppose. You saw him working with Hermione, on Friday."

"Yeah." Ron laughed slightly. "Wouldn't have believed that if I saw it in a crystal ball. Almost as strange as the nastiest professor at Hogwarts acting like Mum did when Charlie crashed his broom trying to fly with his eyes shut."

"What do you mean?"

"The way he was yelling at you -- about the potion, or whatever it was."

"Ron ... this is Professor Snape. He yells at people all the time." 

"Yeah, but not like he _cares."_ Ron shifted uneasily and cleared his throat. "So ... heard from Fred and George yet about the tunnel you couldn't remember?" 

"They said they were never in it themselves, but they know it starts somewhere in Greenhouse Four."

"Ouch." Ron shuddered. "Don't suppose we could bring Neville in?"

"Ron, we're big, capable sixth years. We can get into Greenhouse Four without getting eaten by orchids."

"In, yeah. I want to get _out,_ too, though."

"We'll manage. We've managed Death Eaters and giant spiders -- we can certainly handle a few plants." 

Hermione yelped. The boys turned quickly, and saw her batting up into the air. 

"She's losing herself in the animal, again."

Ron looked anxiously between them. "She's not supposed to do that, is she?"

"No. That's one of the things she's been working on. Shh." With that admonition, Harry turned his attention to Hermione. He called her name softly a few times. Slowly, she relaxed back. 

"Where are you?"

"Couch. The girl is playing. She likes to-- running! Back and forth and scrabble up the back and he's _so_ angry, and then--" She burst out giggling.

"Shadow is angry?" 

"We love it. Your boy is--" She began giggling again, then laughing, until her eyes blinked opened. 

"Oh no!" she gasped, bending over from the laughter. "Oh, I shouldn't lose him that way when I try to examine it. Oh, god! That was hilarious."

"Maybe you should have a pensieve and not try to examine it when it happens."

Hermione managed a quick nodding motion between gasps.

"What was so funny?" Ron demanded. 

"Draco! Pansy has him -- Shadow -- down in -- it looks like it might be the Slytherin common room -- and she's playing with him and getting him frantic. And Draco is livid -- I don't know what she's saying to him, but it's clearly all to wind him up."

"Do you think Shadow's safe?"

"Oh." Hermione closed her eyes as her face scrunched up in concentration. "Mmm ... yes, I think he's safe. Draco looked ready to punch Pansy, but wasn't going near the ferret. Damn. I lost all the words." She stretched. "And I'm starving. Is it lunch time?"

"Probably close." 

"Let's get food, then look for the last tunnel."

 

Greenhouse Four was anticlimactic. Hermione's spell found a hollow under the floor barely three steps in from the door, and out of reach of the more aggressive plants. The tunnel was narrow, but tall enough for even Ron to walk upright for most of its length. Beams here and there reinforced the ceiling. It came out under a large overhang -- almost a cave -- in the hills north of Hogsmeade. They made it back in time for Harry and Ron to get dinner before their detention with Filch. 

Detention with Filch was horrible, but that, Harry thought, was a bit like saying water was wet. They were done cleaning the storage barrels and had just finished washing off what they could of the slug slime from their hands and wrists, when the door opened to admit Professor McGonagall. 

"Mr. Filch," she said. "Are the boys finished?"

"For tonight," Filch answered, leering unpleasantly at them. 

"Well, it's only Mr. Weasley that you'll have back tomorrow. Now, the headmaster wishes to speak to them before they go to bed, so if you'll excuse us...."

Harry walked next to Ron, following their head of house, at first, but after the second corner, he moved forward. 

"Professor?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Does the headmaster usually speak personally to students about this sort of thing?"

"Occasionally." She gave him a wry smile. "Honestly, Mr. Potter, the trouble you attract is often difficult to fathom. I was almost relieved to see you involved in such standard misbehavior."

"Wouldn't have been if I'd done it with Draco Malfoy, I expect." 

She hesitated, then nodded quickly. "I apologize for my reaction to that. It was ... childish." She let out a quick breath. "I had not noticed your friendship, and it took me by surprise." Her face twitched. "To say the least." 

"We need to learn to cooperate. The Sorting Hat has told us that for the last two years, and I think it's true." 

"Which is why the headmaster placed you with Professor Snape, this summer, as I understand it." 

Harry nodded. 

McGonagall cleared her throat slightly. "Has it ... helped?"

Harry wanted to say it had helped some, but thought that might endanger his father. He shrugged. "Not much. Maybe he's too old to learn to cooperate."

McGonagall's eyebrows shot up, and Harry belatedly remembered that she was much older. 

"Well," she said, amused, "if _he_ is too old, then I need not attempt it."

"Sorry," Harry said. "S- Professor Snape seems -- he's awfully old for his age. Except when he's not."

She snorted. "Eloquent as usual, Mr. Potter." 

 

Dumbledore was waiting for them in his office. He excused Professor McGonagall politely, then turned to them. 

"Well. Right on schedule, I see, Mr. Weasley -- so far, only Percival has not been in here for drinking as a sixth year. I suggest earplugs at breakfast tomorrow. Harry, your father wishes to talk to you. Please return to Gryffindor, pretend to go to bed, and portkey down to your dungeon room." 

Harry nodded. "Now?"

"If you would. I have rather more to say to your friend." 

Harry nodded. "All right. Good night, Ron." 

 

Harry was uncomfortable about meeting his father, but not as much so as last time. He peered out of his room and found Severus in the kitchen, eating what looked like breakfast.

"Hi?"

"Hello. How was detention?"

"Have anything that gets slug slime off skin?"

Severus gestured to the cabinet of potions. "Triangular blue bottle. Don't use the triangular green one, or you'll end up with very clean scales."

Harry took out what looked like the right bottle. "This one?"

"You're not color blind. Very good." 

Severus ate quickly while Harry washed. When Harry sat down, he was spreading marmalade on the last slice of toast. 

"Tea? I think I ate all the food. We could get more if you want."

"I'm not really hungry. I ate a lot at dinner." 

"Right. It would be evening." Severus rubbed between his eyes. "My schedule is absurd. The Dark Lord has had me in his lab all weekend, and I'll no doubt be in the one here for two days more."

"Can I help?"

Severus shook his head. "Not worth the risk. Not when we're so close." He looked down at his tea. "So. I hear you were in the Hog's Head buying firewhisky." 

"I didn't drink any. It was for Ron. He gave me absolute crap about not drinking, too."

"Hagrid says you whipped around in a panic when he came in."

Harry reddened. "From the expression on Ron's face, I was expecting Death Eaters, or something." 

"Who would have had time to kill you."

Harry, reluctantly, nodded. "Maybe." 

"So, what did you learn from this?"

"Sit facing the door?"

To Harry's surprise, his father smirked and nodded. "Exactly." He frowned. "A ridiculously basic thing for you to forget." 

"I take it you're not too upset with me?"

Severus leaned forward. "Did your friend really give you trouble?"

"He called me a coward, and a girl, and other things."

"Gryffindors don't take well to 'coward.'" Severus smirked. "I can usually get a Gryffindor to do anything with that."

"Yeah." Harry shrugged. Remembering Sirius hurt. "On the other hand, he was being an idiot, and he usually gets over these things." 

Severus was silent for a minute. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Reminding you of him." Severus didn't need to say who "he" was.

"How about goading him?"

Severus tensed. "He was.... I could never.... I couldn't let him be. Having the upper hand over Black...." He scowled. "I did what I could, at the end."

"I know. And he would have been reckless even without you, but...." Harry stopped. This, also, would never be resolved, no matter what he, or anyone else, did.

"You loved him." Severus's voice was bitter. 

Harry could only nod.

"He tried to _kill_ me."

"So? You _did_ kill people -- lots of them, I gather." Harry ignored his father's sharp intake of breath. "I forgive you; can't I forgive him? He was fun and brave and affectionate. He was worse than useless at taking care of me, but he _tried."_

"Worse than?"

"He ... He called me a coward, too, more or less. I didn't want him contacting me in the Gryffindor fire and I refused to meet him in Hogsmeade and he said James would have enjoyed the risk. And he suggested I sneak out to the Shrieking Shack --"

"That ... IDIOT!"

"The funny thing was, I would have met him if it wasn't for the danger to _him._ So I was more worried about his safety than he was about mine." Harry shrugged uncomfortably. He knew Sirius had loved him. It hadn't been lack of affection that made him treat the danger so lightly. "Sometimes he seemed younger than me." 

Severus took a deep breath. "He was a bit mad, I think. I, of course, always considered him unstable, but even his friends seemed to feel that twelve years in the company of dementors had ... unfortunate consequences."

Harry nodded. "Or twelve years of avoiding dementors. I mean, he spent most of his time as a dog, right? And as I understand it, animagus form has a certain relation to essential personality, but by staying in that form so much of his time he would have emphasized those traits. So he had very ... basic reactions to things, and he'd lost control of them, rather than developing it, the way he might have if he was out in the world with, oh, jobs, and relationships, and a place to take care of, and that sort of thing." 

Severus nodded. "Possibly." 

Harry considered that a significant concession. Severus seemed to, as well, for he shifted uneasily in his seat. 

"Speaking of relationships -- What are you and Hermione doing about the ball?"

"She's found someone else -- accepted the first person who asked, I think. I'm going with -- well, Olivia Wilkenson -- she's one of yours--"

"Wilkenson! How on earth did you end up--?" His face tightened unpleasantly. "Malfoy."

"If that's your guess at how I ended up with a Slytherin date, yes. We've met, and I found her pleasant. I think she'll be fun." 

"You realize, of course, that she is highly ambitious?"

"Yeah, I'd noticed that little snake on her robes."

Severus did not smile. "Even for a Slytherin. Her goals, furthermore, are political."

"We talked about that a bit."

"And have you considered you would be of considerable value to her, in that arena?"

"Potentially, yes. I could also be a liability."

Severus shook his head. "Not unless Voldemort wins, and she has already gambled that he will not." He grimaced. "I have heard that she may be a bit ... loose."

Harry smirked. "Really? I'll have to keep an eye out for that." 

"I suggest you don't. She will use you, somehow."

"No more than I let her." 

Severus scowled. "Do you know the Sterilization Hex?" 

"What?" Harry asked. 

"The Sterilization Hex. So you do not get her ... with child, should you be so undisciplined."

Harry felt his face flood with heat. "No, I ... Wouldn't she take care of that?"

A spasm of something -- rage or disgust -- crossed Severus's face. "You're not a squib, boy! The girl doesn't need that embarrassment. Why should she do it?"

"Well, she's the one who'd get pregnant, isn't she?"

"And you're the one who would pay her bride price to marry her, or several times that to not, and be unmarriageable -- well, perhaps not _you,_ as you are Harry Potter -- but even you would find it harder to marry, and more expensive, after that sort of disgrace." 

Harry felt an unnecessary panic rising at the words. 

"Well, nice of you to tell us! I mean, how am I supposed to know that's how it works? I'm pretty sure the most reliable Muggle birth control is done by the girl." 

"The girl!" Severus looked as if this was scarcely credible. "If you sterilize a woman, Harry, it's permanent!"

"But with men it's not?"

"No. Your body constantly makes more seed."

"Oh." Harry frowned. "I don't think Muggles do it that way."

"Hmph. Well, that could explain the reputation of Muggle boys for being criminally careless." 

Harry thought of Olivia's costume choice. _The Muggle boy and the debutante. Well, she could be setting me up -- or she could just think it's hot._

"You know," he said, "we really ought to be taught more. Muggle-born students, I mean, and people like me. We don't just magically know these things."

Severus threw his hands up in the air. "And we don't know what you don't know! Who would ever consider having a girl be responsible for _not_ having babies? Girls are _supposed_ to have babies -- it's not even proper!"

"To you."

Severus gestured dismissal. "Perhaps you should write something up. For now, however, I had better teach you the hex." He drew out his wand. "The incantation is _'Sterilis'_ and the motion is this quick inward spiral, then pull -- like this." He demonstrated at empty air, then had Harry repeat the hex. Harry was certain his own face must be crimson, but Severus seemed to be moving from agitation to amusement. 

_He's fine, as long as he can torture me._ Harry found his resentment did not go very deep. It was certainly better to find this out in a conversation, however embarrassing, than by direct experience.

"That looks right. Now, I think you'd better try it out."

Harry twitched. He was damn well not taking off his trousers in front of -- well, any teacher, relation or not.

"Put on your invisibility cloak for a moment; I need to open the door."

Harry wasn't sure what to ask, or if he wanted to. He swung on his cloak and tried to enjoy being temporarily relieved of his father's scrutiny. 

Severus, meanwhile, crossed to the door and opened it. He took a potion from the drawer of a nearby table and spilled it on the floor, a little way into the room. When he pointed his wand at it and said something, it began to smoke and emit a sour odor. "Mus," he called. "Mus!"

Harry began to hear an odd rustling sound. The first rat that scuttled across the threshold startled him. The second amazed him. By the time there were a score or more of rats and mice lapping at the potion, he was starting to feel that he might be acquiring a slight sympathy for people who found rodents unsettling. 

Severus closed the door and pointed his wand at the swarming cluster. _"Genio mus impedimente,"_ he said firmly. The swarming slowed. Severus picked up a rat, checked under its tail, and put it down again. He picked up another one, nodded, and waved it towards where he had last seen Harry. 

"There -- you can try on this one. Take off that damn cloak, will you? And sit there." 

Severus pointed to a spot on the floor, near the slowly feeding rodents. Harry sat. The rat Severus offered him had pendulous balls that seemed quite out of proportion to the rest of it. They rested on the floor as he scrabbled to get away. Harry had to think for a moment before recalling that Scabbers had been the same. _It must be how rats are built._

"May I touch that potion?"

"Not unless you want to get bitten." An unpleasant smile crossed Severus's features. "I've seen men covered in it for execution. Nasty way to go." 

Harry shuddered. "I wanted to move a little over to keep this one occupied."

"Go ahead." Severus smirked. "You do have a wand." 

_Oh, yes -- magic._ Harry hit himself in the forehead. "Right!" He levitated a bit of the potion over to a spot in front of him. The rat stopped struggling and began to lap at it. Harry, trying not to look embarrassed, lifted the creature's tail and cast _Sterilis_ on it ... him. 

 

Ten minutes later, they released seven temporarily infertile male rats, fifteen well-fed female rats, and an assortment of lethargic mice back into the hallway. Harry was beyond embarrassed and just felt giddy and strange. He fell back on the couch giggling. 

"Is there a problem?"

"Fuck, but I have odd evenings here!" Harry laughed. "And you can summon swarms of rats from the dungeons! I'd love to have a picture of that -- Potions Master Snape surrounded by crazed rats -- It's just what Gryffindor always suspected."

Severus shook his head, but looked close to smiling. "What, that I _test_ things properly? I thought you all assumed I did my verification on stray first years."

Harry frowned. "Do you use the rats for testing potions?"

Snape nodded. "Quite frequently. That is why I allow so many in the dungeons -- my rooms are warded against them, of course, as is Slytherin."

"Hm. Is my room?"

"In warding, it is one of mine." 

"Oh, good. Not that I mind rats ...." Harry reconsidered. "Actually, I haven't especially liked them, since Peter -- that was creepy." He rubbed his face. "I feel so strange." 

Severus regarded him thoughtfully. "Wine, or hot chocolate?"

Harry scrunched back into the couch. For some reason, none of this made him feel any more grown up. "Hot chocolate, please."

"I'll call to the kitchens." Severus stood. "And after that, you should go to bed." 

 

When Harry sneaked back into the dormitory, all was silent. His bed, however, was not empty. Ron, in his pajamas and a dressing gown, was sleeping on top of the covers. 

"Hi," Harry whispered. "I'm back. You can go to bed now."

Ron blinked blearily at him. "Tell me about it."

"It's late."

"I know. Tell me."

Harry sighed. He drew the curtains around his bed and cast _Secretus_ on them. 

"I was with my dad," he said. "It was a strange night, but not bad."

"Strange how?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "He's concerned about the ambition of my partner for the ball."

"Oh really?'

"Yes, really. So he says I mustn't get her pregnant."

"What?" 

"Or she'll shame me into marrying her, see? So he taught me a spell to ... um ... prevent that." 

"Wow." Ron looked impressed. "I needed Bill for that."

"Well, he not only explained it to me, but thought I should practice it."

Ron winced. "He didn't -- ugh!"

"No, he opened the door and summoned rats."

"Rats!"

"Apparently, he allows rats in the dungeons -- though he protects his quarters -- to test potions on. He just calls them when he needs them." 

Ron shuddered. "That's so ... Snapish." 

Harry laughed. "Yeah, isn't it? So these scruffy wild rats came scrambling in, and he hit them all with impedimente, and then I had to blast the balls of those that had them."

Ron drew back, his hands up. "That is as much as I want to know."

"Really, that's as weird as it got. Then I just had hot chocolate. Go to bed, now." 

Ron hunched back over. 

"Ron?"

"I had another dream about you."

"What?"

"I have dreams, sometimes. I mean, ones that happen. I guess that would happen occasionally to anyone, so maybe it's nothing. But this is the fifth time I've had this one. There are a lot of werewolves, circling around a student. It was you, the first three times; now it's someone else, but you're still there. I can't see you anymore, but you're there."

"Maybe I'm one of the wolves."

"Don't joke!"

"I'm not." 

Ron stared at him, his face pallid in the wandlight. "Harry, is there something you need to tell me?"

The careful question sounded so much like Dumbledore that Harry had to laugh, but he also thought back and realized what he implied. "No, sorry -- that's not what I meant. But they could go after me, right? Except I suspect there are easier targets. But if they did ... I might be a werewolf the next time. So if the dreams are true, they could be different moons."

Ron shook his head. At one point, he had thought Divination might teach him words for the things he felt he knew, but it had just taught him how to make it sound even more ridiculous. "It's the same. It's ... what might happen has changed." He let out a contemptuous snort. "Listen to me! It's all crap. I'm just having nightmares because sometimes I wake up and you're gone." He slipped his feet off the bed, breaking Harry's charm. 

Harry shrugged. "Could be."

Ron stood, but did not move away. "But that werewolf woman did try to drug you." He looked down. "Be careful, next week?"

"I will. Now get some sleep." Harry grinned. "And let me know if you need a night or two of Dreamless Sleep Potion -- I could probably nick some."


	75. Dark Arts and Dark Creatures

 

The beginning of the week was filled with whispers about the ball and people looking up unusual transfiguration and crafts spells. Harry had expected they would start the Marker Spell in Defense Against the Dark Arts on Monday, but Professor Lupin gave them a test on the previous two combining spells, instead. He assigned a short research project on the Marker Spell -- a way to prime someone to be the target of another spell -- and said they would start work on it on Wednesday. 

On Wednesday, Remus looked pale and drawn. He stood, leaning back against his desk, while they all settled in. Harry knew the full moon was only a few days off; he found himself more afraid on Remus's behalf than his own. 

Remus pulled himself upright. He swayed slightly, then steadied. "As you know, I had planned to start the Marker Spell today, but I've decided on a change."

Draco leaned close to Harry. "Since I'm afraid Mr. Malfoy would mark and curse all the Mudbloods, I've decided to cover tarnish-removal charms instead."

Harry worked on restraining a smile. He could feel his cheeks twitching. 

"Harry, Draco ... have you something to share with the class?"

Harry wondered if Remus had overheard. The professor usually allowed quiet comments between the students, if they weren't disruptive or distracted.

Draco looked politely surprised. "No, sir."

Remus's mild look refocused. "Harry?"

"I didn't say anything."

"Very well. Ten points each from Slytherin and Gryffindor, and I'm separating the two of you. Harry, sit with Ron. Draco ..." Remus's eyes narrowed. "You may sit with Hermione Granger." 

Draco shrugged with elaborate disinterest, then stood and walked over to Ron and Hermione's table, where Ron was just collecting his things. 

"Good morning, Miss Granger," he said formally, his voice ringing clearly through the room. "I apologize for displacing your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend, and it's fine," Hermione said curtly. She managed a small smile. "Good morning, Mr. Malfoy." 

Draco, with a smirk and a flourish, sat. Ron eased in next to Harry. "Surprised he moved."

"I'm not. He always complains about how you get better seats than we do." 

Remus cleared his throat. "Saturday, as most of you should be aware, is the full moon. With that and the current political situation in mind, I wanted to teach you a few hexes which affect werewolves."

Harry, just shifting over to move his books, nearly fell off his chair. Draco choked audibly. 

"Well, I say!" Justin reddened as his exclamation carried through the classroom. Harry raised his hand. 

"Harry?"

"Won't that.... I mean, you're not supposed to do that, are you?"

"I doubt it will make much of a difference to my long term prospects. None of what I have to say is the exclusive knowledge of werewolves, although people tend to forget some of the points. Let's start with what you _do_ know. How can you cause damage to a werewolf?"

For several breaths, there was only shocked silence. Remus's pallor was an inescapable reminder of his condition. He eased back against the desk. Hesitantly, people began advancing suggestions.

"Wolfsbane, in its raw form." 

"In quantity, yes. Five points to Ravenclaw."

"The Wolfmann Zuruckfahrentrunk."

"That repels only; it does not cause damage."

"Silver!" 

"If properly charged, and used as a weapon, yes. Five points to Gryffindor."

"Garlic?" 

"No, that's vampires, Neville."

"La Pierre d'Affinage," Draco drawled, "vulgarly called the 'False Philosopher's Stone,' turns iron to silver. Either ingested or induced into the blood, it will kill a werewolf in seconds." 

Remus looked queasy. "And a non-werewolf, Draco?"

"I don't know. It takes about a minute for it to kill a small duck." Draco shrugged uncomfortably. "Father let me play with his once, and I fed it to a duck. He took it away from me when I made a House Elf eat it. They're not affected, though."

Remus stared. Harry saw his throat move in a hard swallow. "Draco, killing a House Elf is ..." His jaw clenched. "... illegal."

"Well I didn't know any better! I was eight! Father told me he had killed a Muggle with it, and I wanted to try."

Remus was audibly trying to slow his breathing. "He took it from you."

"With a lecture on the difference between valuable magical servants and vermin, yes." Draco glanced at Hermione. "Sorry, Granger. That's what he said." He rested his head in his hands. "Sorry I mentioned it."

"No, Draco, that's ... it is an effective weapon against werewolves." Remus took another deep breath. "It will kill a werewolf almost instantaneously. A non-infected human will take several minutes, and can be saved, with prompt action." He looked around at them. "Five points to Slytherin. Anything else?"

Everyone was silent. "How about spells?" Remus prompted.

"Werewolves, in their curse form, are highly resistant to magical attack."

"As a rule, that is correct, Hermione. Five points to Gryffindor." Remus let out a long sigh. "We know, however, of three curses effective against werewolves. I have permission from the headmaster to teach you two of those." He scanned the room slowly. "All are Dark Arts."

"Professor!" Hermione yelped. Harry could not do more than stare. Remus sighed and squared his shoulders. 

"Normally, yes, I would not teach you Dark Arts, and normally, Professor Dumbledore would not permit it. However, we are concerned about threats from the Wolven Freedom Union, and wish to prepare the older students with an effective magical defense. Anyone who feels, in conscience, that they cannot accept such instruction may leave for the practical portion of these lessons, _but_ I will require all of you to know the theory of what the curses do to the target, what they don't do to the target, and what they do to the caster." Remus looked intently at each student in turn. "These curses are _illegal_ to cast upon _any_ target. Both will harm a werewolf; one can kill an uninfected human. We will not practice them on anything. They are only for when you are threatened by worse than the law." 

Everyone nodded silently. Hannah burst into tears, and Justin put an arm around her shoulders. 

"I'm sorry," Remus said. "I ... you shouldn't need to deal with this." He rubbed his face. "Well. The curses are the Weakening Hex -- _Debilitario_ _\--_ and the Breach Curse -- _Rumperio._

 "The Breach Curse is safer to cast, but also less effective. It removes the werewolf defenses and recuperative powers from a particular target area, so that you can strike with a physical weapon. Cast on an uninfected human it may cause spontaneous rupture of a large area of the skin -- yes, Harry?"

"I have a knife that is spelled not to cut human flesh. Can I use it against a werewolf?"

"If it will harm animals, yes, it can be used against a werewolf in wolven form. If you were to attack me now, of course, I would qualify as human." 

"Okay." 

"The Weakening Hex is much stronger. It degrades most of the werewolf's powers -- in healing, in resistance, in strength, and, most importantly, in the resistance to other hexes. However, it is much stronger Dark Arts, and thus has a greater effect on the caster. Harry, would you like to remind the class of the effects of Dark Arts?"

Harry found himself groping for words that would have come easily if he had chosen the time. "Well, um, Dark Arts spells are part of a larger magical class properly called 'Soul Arts.' These spells require part of the soul to cast, but they also change it -- change it the same way they work. So, for example, the Cruciatus Curse requires that you enjoy causing pain, so casting it makes you enjoy that more. This spell ... um, I've never heard of it before, but I'd guess it might make the caster more of a bully?"

"Close," Lupin acknowledged. "Draco, do you know?"

"It enhances the caster's desire for power over others."

"Correct. A single use should not cause major personal changes, but it will be dangerous with repeated use. Of course, I hope none of you will need to repel werewolves repeatedly." Lupin gave the class a brittle smile. "And what, do you suppose, you should do after casting this hex? Padma?"

"Cast another hex."

"Correct. The primary use of the Weakening Hex is to make a werewolf susceptible to other curses. For physical attacks, the Breach Curse, as a more limited Dark Arts curse, is far safer to the caster." Remus shivered. "Well. Any questions? Once we have reviewed this, anyone who wishes to may leave...." 

 

It was a very strange class. In some ways, Harry was glad he was not spending it next to Draco, though there certainly would have been sly comments, funny observations, and moments of shared understanding if he had. Ron was shocked into passivity. His only initiative was to stand to leave after the review, then sit again at Harry's gentle tug on his sleeve. At the end of the class, all the students were given limited passes to the Restricted Section and a three-foot essay assignment on the Weakening Hex and Breach Curse. Draco spared Harry only an apprehensive glance before hurrying off to lunch, and Hermione was preoccupied and distant. Harry wondered what Severus's library had on werewolves. 

 

That class set the tone for the rest of the week. In the evening, Severus was not at dinner. He was also not in his office. Harry eventually portkeyed into his room in the dungeons. Before he even looked at the door, he noticed a pile of books on his bed. 

He walked over. The pile contained books ranging from ancient to new. On the top was a note in Severus's spidery script. 

 

I believe you might find these useful. As always, please restrain yourself from unnecessary experimentation. I do not anticipate having any available time before Monday. Urgent matters can go through the usual channels.

 

Harry wondered what "the usual channels" were. Dumbledore? Getting detention? He shrugged, and looked at the books. Dark Creatures; Dark Methods was on top. Underneath that was a musty Werewolves and Their Weaknesses and a modern volume titled Bad Moon Rising. On the bottom were two old texts: A Gramerye of Defenses Against Lycanthropes, and Magik Against the Accurséd -- the Werwolfe, Vampyr, and Walking Dead. 

Harry looked through the books, but found most of them too disturbing to more than skim. In addition to Remus's curses, they contained far more gruesome Dark Arts spells and potions, such as one to lock the re-emergent human between forms, until the flux killed them. Many of these were illustrated. Magik Against the Accursed was particularly lovingly illuminated with grotesque monsters and attacks washed in scarlet. Harry grew more and more anxious as he looked through the books. His mood was not helped by the inference that Severus was busy with work for Voldemort, nor the thought that he had read these books, probably while angry at Remus. 

Thursday's Daily Prophet had two articles on werewolves: one warning people of the upcoming full moon, and one reviewing the rise of the WFU. Friday's had a retrospective of numbers and types of werewolf attacks in Britain over the last three years compared to those during Voldemort's first rise. It glossed over the politics of Voldemort's incitement of werewolf resentment, and instead left the impression that increased werewolf attacks were a natural phenomenon arising from an increase in Dark energy. Harry's stomach twisted too badly to eat. He wanted to speak quickly to Remus, if only as a tacit acknowledgement of affection, but the man -- the werewolf -- wasn't at breakfast. 

Harry walked down to Potions, and sat in his usual place. He stared at his scales without actually seeing them. When Remus had spoken to him a few days earlier, he had intended to deceive Randolph. Teaching all the sixth and seventh year Hogwarts students how to fight werewolves did not seem to support that effort. Had he given up? Did he intend to die? Harry curled over the bench, trying to think of some way to reach Remus. He hoped Remus would teach his class today, but he knew it was not likely, with the moon so close.

It wasn't until Professor Snape began the lecture that Harry noticed Draco had entered the room. The blond was sitting across the aisle and a row ahead of Harry, at a table by himself. Harry stared at the back of his head. He spent the rest of class alternating between panicking about Remus and wondering why Draco hadn't sat with him. By the time they were dismissed, he had lost thirty points for Gryffindor.

Harry moved forward immediately. 

"Draco?"

For a moment, Draco did not move at all. Then, very slightly, his head shifted to the side. "Yes, Potter?"

"Are you ... What did I do?"

Draco's head came fully to the side at that. "Considering how you've been snubbing me the past two days, I think _I_ should be the one asking that."

"Snub-- Draco, I haven't seen you!"

"You didn't see me standing in the aisle waiting for you to move over? Didn't notice when I said your name?"

"No -- no, I didn't. I'm sorry."

"How can you _not notice_ someone who's a foot away from you?"

"I'm sorry," Harry repeated. "I've been worried about Remus -- I'm not thinking of much else. I didn't see you'd come in until after class started." 

Draco let his breath out in a whoosh, and suddenly his tense expression relaxed to its usual amused scorn. "Honestly, Harry, you ought to have your head examined! Pack your bag, now, and we'll talk on the way upstairs."

 

"Now," Draco said, once they were moving, "explain to me why you are worried about someone who is _already_ a werewolf."

"Last summer, Re-- Lupin got into trouble speaking against Randolph -- you know who he is, right? The WFU leader? Randolph said Remus was a traitor and it was okay for other werewolves to kill him, but he didn't actually _demand_ that anyone kill him. I think that teaching two Hogwarts classes anti-werewolf curses may be enough for him to do that." 

"Oh." Draco stared at the banister sliding under his hand. "Good reason. Nothing you can do about it, though."

"I know. I'd like to talk to him, though. Last time we talked, I yelled at him." Harry had a sudden memory of Mrs. Weasley bursting into tears over Fred and George when they made it home from the World Cup unharmed. He didn't want to come any closer to feeling like that than he did already. 

When they left the stairs, Harry glimpsed the black swirl of Severus's robes at the far end of the long corridor. "Snape's teaching it today," Draco murmured. Harry nodded. He was not surprised. When they entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, Severus was standing at the front of it, his arms drawing in his robes to make him a foreboding pillar of darkness. 

"Once again, I find that your progress bears no relation to Professor Lupin's lesson plans," he sneered, "nor to any conception of what you may need to know -- except, perhaps, for a spontaneous lesson on werewolves?" Severus smiled in vindictive amusement. "Accordingly, I am testing you on Dementors. Put away your books and take out parchment and a quill. We will begin when everyone is ready. The longer you dawdle, the less time you will have to attempt to pass." 

Harry's skill in repelling Dementors was common knowledge, but this was a test on theory, not practice. He didn't know half the answers, and it was with mingled embarrassment and resentment that he handed back his paper. Severus skimmed through the tests and began to intermingle a lesson with sneering readings of responses. Harry wanted to stand up and scream at him. He controlled himself by wondering if this sort of behavior indicated that Severus was under stress -- could Order members map it to periods of high activity? _Except,_ he thought, _Snape was like this before Voldemort returned. It could be other kinds of stress as well, though. Trouble with Mr. Malfoy, perhaps, back then. Or, well, this is all tied into Remus, isn't it?_

"Stop your woolgathering, Potter! This is crucial information!"

Harry's thoughts broke into crackles of panicked understanding. If he had been speaking aloud, they would have burst out in obscenities enough to get him detention. Severus _knew_ what Voldemort had planned with the Dementors. Like Remus -- although much less pleasantly -- he was giving them the knowledge they needed to protect themselves. For the rest of the class, Harry forced himself to pay attention. 

 

The scheduled D.A. meeting after dinner was an unusually subdued affair. On the suggestion of Michael Corner, taking his turn as session leader, the members discussed the anti-werewolf curses, and practiced combined attacks. After dismissal, most of the members lingered, quietly discussing the werewolves, and speculating who might be tomorrow's target. 

"Do you think Lupin..." Harry tensed at the words from Dean, but the expected distrust did not follow. "-- you think he'll be attacked, too?"

Harry let out a breath. "Could be," he said.

"I'd bet they're none too pleased with him." Susan's hair shifted as she nodded. 

"Lupin for sure!" Ernie exclaimed. "He gave the same lesson to all the sixth and seventh year students -- Dark Arts anti-werewolf curses and a review of more conventional techniques."

"You know, one has to wonder --" 

"He will be a target, then."

Harry tensed. "Randolph ..." Harry had to think for a moment. "... Liber, of the WFU, has already said that Professor Lupin may be killed --"

"Doomed," Ernie commented. 

"Maybe I could get pictures!" Colin nearly bounced with excitement. Harry froze. He saw Ron wince. 

"Colin," Hermione said pointedly, "a number of us are rather fond of Professor Lupin."

"Imagine it though! A picture of werewolves fighting! It'd be brilliant!" He noticed a few of the looks he was getting and lowered his voice. "I'd hope he'd win, of course."

The problem with Colin, Harry thought, was that he was so unaware that he was offensive that it hardly seemed fair to hold it against him. Other people did not seem to have this problem.

"If you dare say again that it would be 'brilliant' for my favorite professor to get attacked by murderous terrorists, I am going to show you an attack you will _not_ find pleasant," Justin said pointedly.

"You wouldn't dare anyway," Lavender scoffed. "How are you going to photograph fighting werewolves? Do you think you and your precious camera would get away afterwards?"

 

Saturday morning dawned grey and drizzly. Harry hoped it would last until the next morning, but the Daily Prophet forecast only scattered clouds in the evening. Dean's Muggle paper, which he got for the football scores, agreed. 

Harry sulked about the castle in a deep funk until Ron dragged him outside. "All this sitting around is no good for you, Harry."

"Going out in the rain is?"

"Let's go see Hagrid."

 

Hagrid wasn't in, so they went down to the cages to watch the Phantasimite, Hagrid's latest pride and joy. Currently, it was mimicking a Romanian Longhorn. Harry thought it would be quite convincing if it was large enough. A dragon the size of a collie looked rather odd; it kept reminding him of Norbert, but it looked more _adult,_ somehow.

He heard a rustle behind them, and turned to see three children peering cautiously around the gooseberry bushes. 

"Hi," Ron said.

"Hi," said one of the children. He was the middle-sized one, with medium-brown hair, but he carried himself with authority.

"Sigurd! We're not supposed to talk to them," the larger boy hissed. 

Ron grinned. "It's all right," he said. He pointed at Harry. "He's Harry Potter."

The children's eyes all widened. 

"Why is that dragon so little?" Sigurd recovered quickly, apparently. 

"Do you know what kind of dragon it is?" Harry asked. 

"Well, it looks like a Romanian Longhorn, but it's too little. Is it a baby?"

Ron looked impressed. "Kid knows his dragons," he remarked with a nod.

Harry smiled. "It's not a dragon, at all. It's a Phantasimite mimicking a dragon. If you watch for a while, you may see it change." The children stepped closer. "Don't touch the cage, now." 

"'Kay," said the youngest boy, carefully clasping his hands behind his back. For a long while, they watched. 

"This is boring." The words were no sooner out of the largest boy's mouth when the little dragon began to change. Its legs lengthened and its neck shortened. Shining feathers and smooth fur replaced scales. Within a minute, they were looking at a charmingly miniature Hippogriff. The youngest boy clapped with delight.

"Pretty good," Sigurd announced.

Ron and Harry didn't dare leave the children alone by the cage, so they stayed and talked to them. Harry had learned quite a bit about the hidden refugee community at Hogwarts by the time a harassed-looking wizard showed up on a school broom. 

"You three! You know you're not supposed to be outside at the weekends, and you're _not_ supposed to talk to the big boys!" 

Harry and Ron crept away to "I don't care if he's Harry Potter; he's still a stranger, and he's still a student at the school!"

 

  Harry and Ron had no sooner stepped inside the Entrance Hall than Fawkes appeared in front of them. He offered Harry a little roll of lavender parchment, then climbed up Harry's arm to settle on his shoulder. 

"What is it?"

Harry frowned. "I'm supposed to go to Dumbledore's office. Look, I'll meet you back in Gryffindor, okay? Or at dinner, if he keeps me late."

"All right."

Depending on the available space, Fawkes alternated between flying around Harry and riding on his shoulder. Younger students stared openly as they passed, and the older ones put visible effort into not doing the same. Outside Dumbledore's office, the phoenix trilled. When there was no response to his knock, Harry hesitantly opened the door. Severus was just stepping out of the fire.

"Hi." Harry came inside and closed the door. "Where's the headmaster?"

"Busy. He called you here on my behalf -- it seemed the safest way to see you." 

"Okay."

Severus let out a long hissing breath. "We have reason to believe the werewolves have selected you as this month's target."

"Yeah, I know."

"You -- What!" 

"Remus ..." Harry swallowed. "... sent me word."

"Did you consider _telling_ anybody?"

Harry blinked. "Didn't think it would make any difference."

Severus glared. "In the future, please inform the headmaster and myself of any death threats you receive. Are you _simple?"_

 "It wasn't a threat," Harry explained. "More of a warning. He promised he wouldn't."

Severus hissed. He shook his head. "Well. That is confirmation. So, you are to be in Gryffindor by moonrise and I want you to stay there."

"What about dinner?"

Severus hesitated, then nodded. "You may go to dinner with your housemates and return with them. Do not linger." 

Harry rolled his eyes. "Of course not! I mean, why would I make it easy for them?"

Severus looked hard at him for a moment, then stepped forward. Hesitantly, he raised a hand to Harry's shoulder, and squeezed with an almost painful grip. 

"Good." His hand dropped. "Go." 

Harry wordless, nodded and left. 

  

Harry had just reached the second floor landing when someone stepped from an alcove a mere pace to one side of him. Harry grabbed for his wand before recognizing the figure -- Remus Lupin. Under the circumstances, that was not as reassuring as it could have been. He kept his hand on his wand, but did not draw or point it. Remus stepped forward. He looked strange and wild in the dim light; it was easy to consider him inhuman now. Harry stepped back into the banister, but Remus closed the distance again. He swayed on his feet from the effect of the approaching moon, now short hours away, as he leaned close. For a moment, Harry thought the werewolf might collapse on him, or bite him, or ... something, but instead, he heard an unmistakable slow sniff inwards. 

"Remus...."

"His scent on you. He _touches_ you." Remus lifted his head. His eyes were burning in his pale face. "If I didn't love you, I'd hate you." 

Harry, oddly, remembered the moment when he had realized he was jealous of Selena. "Look, sorry about that, but...." Harry tried to shift to the side. Remus stepped back a half-pace, so the distance was no longer intimidating, but still oddly intimate. Harry wondered if wolves had the concept of personal space, and if so, how they used it. 

"I should be in my room," Remus muttered. He rubbed at his eyes. "But I needed to tell you, Harry ... if I die, I did not die for you. I died for _me._ Do you understand that?"

"So I shouldn't feel guilty," Harry forced out.

"You should not. Were it a child I had never heard of, my decision would be the same -- at least, I like to think so." Remus shuddered. "If not, you save me again."

And Harry, suddenly, did understand. He wanted to grasp Lupin's arm in support and to swear it would be all right, but he was afraid to touch him, and he knew better than to make promises. He shifted to the side and nodded slightly. 

"I am not afraid of death," Remus said absently. "Perhaps I will see them again -- Sirius and James ... Lily."

"If you live," Harry said, "if we both do...."

"Yes?"

"I'd like to talk to you about James."

Remus nodded. "Next week, stay away. I will be grieving and angry. But ... when it is all over ..." 

He had cut off his connections, Harry realized. What he had done in Wednesday's classes did not allow for truce with both sides.

Remus took a breath. "When the split completes, I should be safe for you to visit, again. Come to me at the waning quarter."

Harry nodded. Remus sighed. His fey, dangerous manner fell from him, and suddenly he just looked old and weary. 

"I need to sleep. Wish me a good moon, Harry."

Harry nodded automatically, and then heard the request repeat in his mind. He thought for a moment. "Have a brilliant and wonderful moon," he said sincerely. His voice caught. It was too easy to picture a wolf racing at the side of a big, black dog. _Perhaps I will see them again...._

His words drew a smile from Remus, but only for a moment. Without another sound, he turned away. Harry watched him pull himself wearily up the stairs toward his room.

 

To Harry's disappointment, the clouds cleared around sunset. The moon, he knew, would be rising before full dark. He stayed in the common room playing chess with Ron, for lack of anything better to do, until it was time for dinner. People kept talking about werewolves, and Harry's comment at the D.A. meeting had obtained epic proportions -- Harry heard a third-year tell a first year that he had best come back directly after dinner, because an elite WFU attack group was coming in to take out Professor Lupin, and infect any students straying in the hallways. 

At dinner, Ron dared to sit near Lavender. Colin complained of a stomachache and left before dessert. His departure bothered Harry. He told himself that it shouldn't -- Colin still desperately wanted Lavender, and had left or skipped meals more times that Harry could count, since term started. Harry mulled it over under the bustle of conversation among Hermione, Ginny, and Dean. He watched Ron leave on the heels of Lavender and Parvati, and Iggy leave with Andrew and Jack. His mind replayed Colin's quiet departure repeatedly, but it wasn't until he and Hermione were heading back upstairs, a decent half-flight down from Ginny and Dean, that he saw it. Colin hadn't looked hurt, or even angry. He had looked determined. 

"Hell." 

He had stopped short with his feet on different steps. Hermione, a step above the higher one, stopped also and turned. "Harry?"

"Colin."

"He'll get over it."

"No -- the look on his face when he was leaving. He's going to do it. He's going to try to photograph a werewolf." 

"Don't be ridiculous! Even Colin couldn't be that stupid."

"You think?"

"Oh, maybe he --" Hermione frowned. "No." 

They hurried upstairs. Just inside the door, they stopped and scanned the room for Colin. No. They moved further in, to look behind the couches. Colin was not there. They searched again for Dennis, then for Lavender. Neither was anywhere to be seen. Harry led the way over to Ron, sitting on his own near the chess tables. Ron grinned at them as they threw themselves down on the couch nearest him. 

"I made it through an entire dinner with Lavender without saying anything stupid!" he said happily. He frowned. "I suppose that means I've lost interest in her?"

"Good job, and not necessarily. Look, have you seen Colin?"

"No." Ron shrugged. "Would I want to?" 

"I think he may try to photograph a werewolf."

Hermione sighed. "I don't think he could really be that stupid -- do you, Ron?"

"Ah, you know Colin." Ron sniggered. "He'd probably think it a great lark, becoming a werewolf." 

Harry looked over at Hermione. Her mouth was open, caught wordless. Harry rubbed his temples with one spread hand.

"What's wrong?" Ron straightened up in his seat. "Well, wouldn't he?"

"Yes," Harry answered grimly, "he would." He drew the hand down his face and looked at Hermione again. This time, her eyes met his, communicating a shared sense of impending disaster. 

Ron shrugged and stood. "Well, let's check the map, then. I mean, there's no need to panic yet, is there?" 

 

Harry ran upstairs, grabbed the map from his trunk, and ran back down. He unrolled it against the back of the couch, and they began to search the finished patches. Harry let out a sigh of relief when there was no one between Hogwarts and the forest. 

"People in the greenhouse tunnel," Ron whispered. Harry looked. There were two little dots near the greenhouse, and four much further back. All were moving in towards Hogwarts. He bent closer to see the names. "Flint?" A moment later, he let out a gasp. "And Selena, back with the larger group." 

"Marcus Flint?"

"That's what it says. In front. I don't recognize the other name."

"So they're not all werewolves." 

"He could have been infected." 

"No," Hermione said firmly. "They need someone with hands to shift the trap door and let them out of the greenhouse." 

"Crap duty, that," Ron said. "Even if they have all taken their medicine."

"Well he obviously doesn't want to be too close."

They all looked back at the map. 

"They're coming in fast."

"Colin!" Hermione pointed. Colin was moving down the stairs. He was still a flight above the Entrance Hall. "He must have --"

"Let's go!" Harry headed for the door. 

"Harry, no! Wait!"

Harry had a good idea what Hermione would say -- something about staying safe in Gryffindor, especially if Ron had confided in her -- but he wasn't going to give her the chance. If he ran, and Colin hesitated, he might be able to stop him. He raced across the room, dived out into the corridor, and tore down the stairs. Hermione came pounding down behind him. 

 

Harry estimated that Hermione was a flight and a half behind him by the time he reached the Entrance Hall. No one was there. He dashed across the space and down the final steps to the door. 

"Harry James Potter!" Hermione's shout from the inner stairway hit a nearly maternal level of command. "Don't you _dare_ open that door!"

"I won't go out!" Harry yanked the door open. "COLIN!" Harry yelled into the night. "COLIN!" 

"I'll get Snape! I swear I will!"

"COLIN!" Harry peered out onto the empty landscape, silver under the rising moon. He heard Hermione clattering away down the stairs, presumably to make good on her threat, but he knew he could ignore that, for another minute or two. He stood cautiously in the doorway, listening hard and letting his eyes adjust to the relative darkness. He could see nothing moving on the broad cut lawn, or in the low gardens. Colin, had he traveled at a jog, might be in the Forbidden Forest, by now -- too far away to hear him. Harry patted his pockets looking for the map, but didn't find it. He had left it in the common room, he realized, and he wondered if Hermione had remembered to bring it down. "Damn it!" 

Remembering her departure, he suddenly absorbed that he was alone and nearly out of the school. He had promised both Remus and Severus that he would be more careful than that, tonight. Reluctantly, he backed inside, still scanning the area around Greenhouse Four and Hagrid's hut and shed for any sign of movement. 

It wasn't until he turned around that he saw the wolf. 

It was standing on the inner staircase, hind feet resting on the landing, forefeet a step lower, the paws about level with Harry's eyes. The position gave it the appearance of a mountain predator, surveying the land below. It would have looked like something from a Muggle wildlife calendar, if the snout had not been just a little too long, the pricked ears at slightly the wrong angle. It had deep, inhuman, golden eyes that locked on Harry's own with the force of an Imperius Curse. He couldn't move. He wasn't sure he was breathing. 

"Remus?" His voice came out in a barely audible croak. _I guess I can breathe, then._ He deliberately drew in air, and his chest constricted around it. There was something unreal and paralyzing about the sight of this wild animal against the worn, worked stone of the great castle. The wolf's head lowered, and it stalked three steps lower and closer to him. 

"Remus!" Higher now -- his voice was audible, but almost cracking. Harry wondered if the wolf _was_ Remus. For all he knew, this could be Selena -- no, she couldn't have got inside so quickly. Another wolf, though. The creature's ears had flattened against its skull, and the long teeth were appearing as the black lips drew back. Over the roar of his own blood, Harry heard a rumbling snarl. 

"Remus, please!" He backed up a step, then realized that put him back in the open doorway, with all that unknown space behind him, and more werewolves on the grounds. 

The wolf tensed back on its muscular haunches, snarling again. It leapt. As its back paws left the stone stairs, Harry threw himself to one side. He felt a burst of pain as his shoulder hit the stone floor, but he managed to keep his head tucked and to continue the roll till he was facing back at the doorway. His forgotten wand was in his hand by reflex and pointing at ... nothing. 

Harry blinked and scanned the area before him frantically. There was no wolf, no ... nothing. Just the still-open door, and beyond it, a strip of silver-lit stone.... 

Cursing loudly, Harry pushed to his feet. He lurched over to the door and looked outside. There! A plumed tail caught the moonlight as the creature loped easily across the silver grass, already more than halfway to the shadow of the forest. Harry had the sudden, desperate thought that he should have brought his Firebolt. 

"POTTER!" 

Severus's enraged scream made Harry flinch back from the open door. Instinctively, he slammed it shut and put his back to it. 

"I was just look-"

"You were _just_ being a reckless idiot! _What_ are you doing OUT OF YOUR ROOM?"

"Colin --"

Severus spoke through clenched teeth. "The stupidity of other students is not your responsibility, Potter."

Harry shivered. _The wolf had been bluffing. It may have been Remus -- it probably was, considering it didn't bite me. Remus might have a good reason to be out on the grounds -- well, no, but he didn't bite me. Don't I owe him...?"_

Severus was watching his face. "What is it?"

Harry remembered the wolf's snarl, mere feet away. "There was a wolf, sir." He felt ill.

Severus brandished the map. "Several."

"No, here. It sprang at me, and when I dived away, it escaped through the door."

Severus swore. He sprang for the door himself, opened it, and stared out at the empty grounds. 

"IDIOTS! I don't know why I BOTHER!" He whirled on Harry. "YOU...! And that damned werewolf, because you idiots will TRUST HIM!" He turned aside, and with shaking hands, he unrolled the map. In a moment, his enraged face went blank. 

"Lupin," he said flatly. "He's meeting the others. Just couldn't keep out of it -- a spot of _excitement._ " 

The malice of his attention returned to Harry, and to Hermione, who had crept to Harry's side. "You," he said coldly, "are to go to Dumbledore, do you understand me? Go tell him his tame werewolf is ranging the grounds again, and with friends, near a foolish student." He took a perceptible breath and looked back at the closed door. "I will do what I can, but I need reinforcements quickly."

Harry gasped as the implications of that sank in. He waved an arm at the door. "You can't go out there!"

"I," Severus returned coldly, "am an _adult._ I will do as I think best. You will go to Dumbledore, and then to your room. NOW!"

With that final shriek, he opened the door, plunged out, and slammed it hard behind him.

"Oh god," Hermione gasped. 

_He won't make it. Help won't get to him on time. It can't._ Harry grabbed at the door, but his father had sealed it somehow. He turned to Hermione. "Look, could you do the talking to Dumbledore thing?" Suspicion was growing on her face, so he hurried on. "I think I better tell the others not to look for Colin." 

It probably helped that his voice shook. Suspicion turned to sympathy and she nodded. "I'll join you as soon as I can," she said. Side by side, they ran up the stairs. Hermione veered off, panting and red, at the third floor, while Harry, still moving as though the wolf was snapping at his heels, continued upward, towards Gryffindor Tower.

 


	76. Curses and Teeth

 

Severus fumed as he half-ran down to the Forbidden Forest. Idiot Gryffindors, all of them! And Harry would try to save Creevy ... Severus wondered why he was trying to save the fool himself. He told himself that if he didn't, Harry would. Besides, it was his duty as a staff member... his duty to Dumbledore.... 

He gave up. The grounds flowed past him in an oddly familiar nightmare. He would see the wolf again. He would see Remus, and this time he _knew_ , this time there was no denying -- it wasn't duty or logic, it was vengeance and penance and fate -- he could no more resist running _toward_ the wolf then he could in the nightmares. Only the snarl and lunge would release him, and this time there was no James....

He had the horrible thought that Dumbledore wouldn't get to him on time, and if Remus killed him, Harry would have neither of them. He tried to think of it as vindication, but he knew it as tragedy. Like all good tragedy, it had the patina of inevitability. Perhaps the pain would make Harry the weapon they needed him to be.

The bulk of the forest was close, now, and dark. Severus drew his wand. He heard a canine yelp and slowed, but the wolf still drew him. He adopted the sliding walk that would warn him of obstacles in his path, and pushed into the forest. He supposed it was always possible the wolves would start howling, and the centaurs would come kill the lot of them. He checked the map. Remus Lupin and another, unfamiliar name, their dots almost on top of each other, were close to the dot marked Colin Creevy; none of the three were moving. The others had spread out, but two were already doubling back. Severus cast _Visus_ _Noctu_ on himself, and resumed his mad run.

 

He saw the patches of light fur first, and slowed. One wolf was fighting another. Easing closer, Severus saw something that might be the boy in the shadow of a tree behind them. He had begun to edge around towards him when he was temporarily blinded by a flash of light. Blue spots swum in his vision as the darkness re-enveloped him. It was the Gryffindor boy. The idiot had his camera out, and was taking picture after picture of the fighting wolves. His flashes made the clearing look as if it was in a silent lightning storm. 

"Climb the tree!" Severus called, and the fighting wolves both paused to look at him. _...the werewolf prefers humans to all other prey, seeking them out whenever possible..._ For an instant, Severus could see the words in his mind, down to the annoying flourish on the _f_ s. One of the wolves lunged for him, and the other was but a leap behind. 

_"Stupefy!"_

The spell merely sent the foremost wolf tumbling. It was back on its feet in a minute, but the delay had been enough; the second wolf leapt upon it and tore out its throat. 

Severus stood frozen with his wand extended, staring at the gushing blood. The victorious wolf backed clear of the mess, then dropped and rolled on his back. Severus knew very little about animals, as such, but he was well acquainted with acts of submission. Cautiously, with one hand, he spread their section of the map flat, and glanced quickly down. 

_Remus Lupin._

He stared at the wolf. It rose with slow care, and sat back, watching him watch it. It seemed nothing like the ravenous beast that had lunged at him in the Shrieking Shack, except for its mouth, which dripped with gore, just as it had all those years ago. Then, Severus realized dizzily, it would have been Remus's own blood that ringed his mouth. He watched this placid wolf lick its chops, then shake its head, then lick again, clearing away some of the blood. Severus stared at Remus, then at the dead wolf between them.

"Did you know him?"

He felt ridiculous as soon as the words left his mouth. Even with the Wolfsbane Potion, werewolves understood very little of human speech when in their wolf form, according to the literature. The wolf, indeed, ignored his words and looked pointedly at Creevy, and Severus, cursing himself for delaying, dashed across the clearing.

He seized the boy's arm. "Come. Now."

"That was great, Professor! Do you suppose it's Professor Lupin? Do you think--?"

"If it is Lupin, you have just forced him to kill, I suspect for the first time in his life." 

"Oh." The boy paused, but only for a second. "Still, he was brilliant, wasn't he? And I can sell the pictures to the Daily Prophet, I b--"

"Those pictures will never be developed!" Severus's panic returned full force. He might be in those pictures! And the Dark Lord would question softly -- "Why did you not assist my agents, Severus? Is your path so unclear?" 

"But--"

"Come!" Severus tried to haul the boy forward. Just in time, he heard the flowing line of noise -- crackling leaves, snapping twigs -- of a large creature approaching swiftly. He shoved the boy back and hoisted him into the lowest branch of a beech. "Up!"

Remus had surged to his feet and was loping forward. He was between Severus and the onrushing wolf when it emerged. Severus watched him set his head down and snarl a warning. The new wolf, a darker one, with brown and grey hairs intermingled, flinched back. It tried to move around him. Remus paced it, growling. They zigzagged back and forth, Remus always between the brown wolf and Severus. 

A fourth wolf, this one grey and white, and close enough in appearance to Remus's wolf that Severus feared confusing them, emerged from the shadows and rushed past the zigzag dance, causing Remus to wheel about. A flash of light exploded from behind Severus, and he realized the idiotic Gryffindor boy had stopped one branch up, more concerned with his photographs than his own life. The wolf yelped in pain and surprise at the searing light.

"Higher!"

The newest wolf, snarling, lunged for the boy, and Remus launched himself after it. Severus tried to recall an anti-werewolf spell. He had taught himself several, he knew. While he was thinking, he cast the Stupefaction Hex again. He missed; the wolf had surged upwards sooner than Severus had expected. Its teeth closed on the hem of Colin's robe, and the werewolf fell back to earth, pulling the boy down with him. Colin cried out in surprise, and twisted to protect his camera from the impact. His voice went shrill with pain, but he had not been bitten -- Remus's lunge had connected as well, and his teeth were raking back along the other wolf's lower leg. It curled back to snap at him, and Severus recalled the spell he had been groping for. 

_"Rumperio!"_ Severus pulled out his boot knife -- a small blade, but long enough -- lunged forward, and stabbed, left-handed, through the creature's eye. The wolf's entire body arched upward in leaps like a grounded fish, splattering flecks of foam and contagious blood. Severus threw himself backward and pressed against the tree-trunk, shaking. _It didn't touch me. I don't think any touched me. It would need to land in a cut or in my mouth or my eye...._

Retrieving the bloodied knife was out of the question. 

 

The Gryffindor boy, at his feet, was still hissing and rocking with pain. Severus could see his knee was unusable -- no subtle injury, this, not with his leg at that angle. He missed the arrival of two more wolves until they were almost upon him. A flash of pale grey passed within arm's reach, and Severus nearly attacked before he realized this wolf had thrown its own body between Severus and the attack of one of the newly arrived wolves, this one a startling white. They went down in a brief but furious tumble, then rose, parting. Behind the white skulked another grey wolf, but this one, thankfully, was an almost unbroken grey that Severus could easily distinguish from Remus's grey and white mix. 

Severus tried to remember the incantation to make werewolves susceptible to hexes. He had seen it just last week, while reviewing Lupin's notes....

The white wolf fell back snarling, but then it, the brindled brown, and the grey began to spread out. Severus stepped to the side to stand over Colin, so the tree was at his back, and Remus could stand in front of both of them at once. That still left the sides unguarded, though, and the grey was circling around to the right, and the brown to the left. Severus decided the grey one was more dangerous, and trained his wand on that one. _Debilitario_ _,_ he thought, his memory cooperating at last, _then the Killing Curse._ As he opened his mouth, however, he was distracted by the wolf in front of him suddenly turning into a writhing, snarling ball of two wolves, then three. When they separated again, Remus was alive, but bleeding heavily from the flank. He struggled unsuccessfully to stand. The brown wolf stood with legs spread and hackles raised, growling at the white. Unfortunately, the white wolf seemed uninjured. 

Severus cast _Debilitario_ towards the grey, but didn't get to follow it up with another curse. The white wolf lunged at him, and the grey started its charge. Severus had the distant thought that if he was lucky, he would die. 

At that point, he heard a shout from above.

 

************

 

Harry tore through Gryffindor common room and up the stairs to the sixth-year boys' dormitory. He grabbed his Firebolt without taking the time to close the trunk, much less relock it, and plunged recklessly out through the window. When his broom had steadied, he descended far enough to see the ground. He had two pointers -- Greenhouse Four and the direction in which Remus's tail had disappeared into the night. He set a line with them, and headed into the Forbidden Forest.

The trees below him were too dense to show the ground. Harry wondered if he should shout for Colin or his father. If it was only the werewolves, that would be safe, but if their doorman had stayed, then there was an armed Death Eater below, as well. He zigzagged back and forth to no avail. He was ready to scream in frustration, when he saw, out of the corner of his eye, a flash of light. He slowed to a drifting hover and tried to soften his focus as much as possible, as if he was in a Quidditch game waiting for a glint of gold from anywhere on the field. The light flared again. Two more flashes in quick succession made it easy for him to pinpoint the origin. He set course and lay flat to his broom. 

No more flashes came. Harry needed to slow his flight, but he had a trajectory now. He scanned the ground purposefully as he flew. After a painful delay, he saw movement through a break in the trees. He banked round and descended further. 

Wolves, he thought. Several. He made out the form of a human lying on the ground, and went still lower. He was quite close before he could distinguish a black-clad form that must be his father. As he watched, Severus started to hex one wolf, but was distracted by another. Harry pointed at the cluster. 

_"Genio_ werewolf _Debilitare_ _!"_ The words rang out through the cold night air. _"Genio_ werewolf _Stupefy!"_

The wolves all fell. Harry clung panting to his broom, stunned the attack had worked. Shaking himself, he shot down till his feet were inches above the ground, and hovered in front of Severus and Colin. 

"Are you out of your MIND? You are supposed to be in your _dormitory!_ "

"Get Colin on behind me, and I'll fly straight to Dumbledore's office." Harry spoke as quickly as possible. He wasn't sure how long the Stupefaction Hex would hold on werewolves, even over Debilitario. 

"Remus is wounded."

Harry pulled a tiny box from his pocket "Catch." He tossed it. 

"You take it!"

"No. You can bring him back by portkey, but we can't take Colin that way."

"That ... _idiot_ child must not speak to anybody."

"Right."

"Come straight to my rooms."

"Yes, sir." Harry kept the broom steady and low as Colin, his breathing harsh and ragged, was bundled on behind him. 

"The brindled brown," Severus said. "She protected him. Remus, I mean. " 

Harry looked at the collapsed wolves and tried to distinguish the brown one in the moonlight. He wondered if it was Selena, finding her own layers of loyalty. "I'll let Dumbledore know." 

Severus winced. "If you must." 

 

************

 

Harry, as suddenly as he had descended, rose into the night. Severus looked down at Remus. The werewolf was breathing raggedly and bleeding profusely from his torn side. 

All infectious, too.

Severus quickly checked his own body. He was just deciding that he didn't have any scratches, when an anguished scream from above him yanked him to his feet, wand out. Harry's angry voice and the crashing descent of an object through the trees made Colin's distress clear enough. Either he had dropped the camera, or Harry had thrown it. Severus rather hoped it was the latter.

Severus took off his cloak and carefully covered the bloody parts of the werewolf before him. He quickly opened the map, checked to see that no one was near and that the wolf really was Remus. Only then did he open the box. Gingerly, he placed his hand on Remus's cleanest paw, and brought the portkey to touch them both. His stomach lurched as the clearing was torn away. 

 

************

 

"That was my camera!"

"Those were _people!_ People have died because of you, you self-absorbed little twit! And if any harm comes to Remus because of what you did --" 

Harry saw glints of something below them and angled down. The points resolved into a lamp, held high by Hagrid, and reflections from spectacles of the headmaster and deputy headmistress. He dived. 

"Harry! What d'yeh think yer doin--"

McGonagall lowered her wand, and Dumbledore stepped forward, raising his hand. "Wait, Hagrid." Dumbledore's voice was calm, but not pleased. "Harry?"

Harry gestured to Colin. "Got him. He broke his leg or something, no bites--"

"Harry smashed my camera!" Colin's voice was harsh with pain, but he still managed words. "I had pictures of _werewolves fighting_ and he--"

"Snape took Remus back with my portkey. He was hurt. Colin will need to be Obliviated, or somethi--"

"You can't do that!" Colin shrieked.

"The _werewolves,_ Harry."

"They killed two, and I stunned the rest -- including Professor Lupin -- with the spell he taught us. They're just a little into the forest by the trail right before the Whomping Willow. The brown one changed sides, I guess -- it was defending Remus." 

Dumbledore nodded. "Minerva, Rubeus, I expect you can handle it. Send up a flare if you have any trouble and portkey back if necessary."

"Righ', Professor."

"Oh! And Marcus Flint let them in. We saw on the map. I suspect he's a Death Eater, now."

"Qualifying, more likely," Dumbledore said sadly. "Voldemort will take initiates on Halloween; he likes ceremony." He looked at Harry. "Off that broom, Harry. I can get us back faster."

 

A moment later, they were standing in the hospital wing. Harry felt as if he had traveled by portkey -- but he didn't see how that could be. Colin was unconscious, which Harry thought suspiciously convenient, and Dumbledore was speaking to Madame Pomfrey in low, urgent tones. Harry could not clear his mind of the sight of Remus, bloody and unmoving. Previously, he had been afraid the Weakening Hex might not work well enough. Now he was afraid it might work too well. 

"I'm heading down," he called, and without waiting for a reply, darted out of the room. 

He ran down the hallway and down the stairs. He didn't have his cloak, so he took the back stairs, which were less likely to have traffic, but took a minute more at a walk. He suspected the difference wasn't much, at his pace. He slid down the banisters, which he had always secretly wanted to do, now not for pleasure, but for speed. At his father's door, Harry didn't pause to knock. He panted out the password and shoved inside as soon as the latch clicked free. 

The wolf on the floor raised its head, snarled, and then collapsed, exhausted by even that effort.

"He's not healing!" Severus's words were an accusation as well as a plea. Harry froze, staring in surprise at the sight of his father, still streaked with blood and dirt, kneeling by the wounded werewolf. The wolf's blood-matted flanks rose quickly and irregularly. Harry watched the beast spasm once, twice, then lie frighteningly still for a second before those panting breaths resumed. 

"Undo it!" Severus spat, and Harry pointed his wand and tried. 

_"Finite Incantatem."_

Nothing. 

" _What_ did you _DO?"_

Harry recognized the angry, dangerous hysteria in Severus's tone. He had heard it far too often in other years. He shook his head, fighting back panic. "It was the Weakening Hex -- _Debilitario_ _._ He taught us it, but not how to _stop_ it."

The wolf's breath labored out in a harsh rasp that did not quite cover the quiet, keening noise from Severus. He seemed unaware he was making it, however, and Harry's sense of panic increased. He tried to think. "Do you know anything about it?"

"The Weakening Hex?" The keening, to Harry's relief, stopped as Severus forced out words. "It will stop him from healing as werewolves do. It will sap his strength. It will sap his will. It will make him vulnerable to--"

"Do you know how to _counter_ it?"

Severus shuddered. "Of course not." His voice rose. "That might be _helpful!_ When have I ever learned _anything_ that might _help--"_

Dumbledore stepped from the fireplace. 

"How is our--"

"Dying!" Severus screamed. 

Dumbledore moved more quickly than most of the students would have believed possible. In a moment, he was on his knees on the near side of the wolf, blocking Harry's view of him. 

"Harry," he called back. "What did you cast?"

" _Debilitario_. Remus said--"

"Cast _Redderio_." When Harry did not move, Dumbledore said, "I cannot undo _that_ with a mere _Finite Incantatem_. We need _Redderio_ , the Restoration Charm, or his wounds may kill him. It will be most effective from the wand that cursed him."

Harry darted over and pointed his wand. "What's the motion?" 

"Direct point. ' _Redderio_ _!_ ' Triumphant helps."

" _Redderio_ _!_ " Harry tried. Nothing happened. If anything, the pants became more frantic and irregular, as if the wolf could not get enough air. Triumphant -- he felt anything but that, right now. Sternly, Harry forced himself back to the moment when the wolves fell, when Severus caught the portkey, when he rose in the air, Colin clinging behind him. Victory scorched through him like a flame. " _Redderio_ _!_ " he commanded. 

The wolf whimpered. Harry watched his breathing, still fast, grow steady.

"Good." Albus flicked his wand with a muttered spell, and the wolf's breathing slowed. Another, and the blood disappeared from the thick fur. More did not replace it. Harry exhaled. Severus stumbled to his feet and collapsed into the armchair, two steps away. 

"Well, that should do it," Dumbledore said cheerily. "I expect a werewolf's usual recuperative powers will take it from here."

Severus looked up. His eyes caught on Harry and narrowed. "You are an unmanageable, reckless, disobedient child." 

"And you're alive." Harry swallowed. "So's Colin." 

Severus's eyes closed and he slumped back.

The wolf moved. Slowly, never rising, he got his feet underneath him. Belly flat to the ground and tail tucked, he crept over to Severus's feet and tried to insinuate his nose under one muddy boot. Harry noted that Severus had opened his eyes, and was now looking down in weary bemusement. 

"Remus, you look ridiculous."

The soft, chiding words had an immediate effect on the wolf. His ears came up, and he fluffed up his body into a more normal posture, at the same time folding his legs under him. Overall, this kept his shoulders at about the same height. With slow care, he extended his massive head, then laid his jaw over the top of Severus's boots. His eyes rolled up to look at Severus, who rubbed the bridge of his nose as if it hurt. 

Harry choked back a laugh. 

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Well. Now we have the matter of getting our errant werewolf back to his rooms unseen. I would rather not subject him to a second port, but he--"

Severus waved a hand dismissively. "Leave him here. He can walk back in the morning." 

"If you don't mind the imposition, Severus."

"Had I _minded_ , I would not have suggested it." Severus leaned back again. "Out, both of you."

Harry hesitated at the door. "Father?"

Severus cracked an eye at him. His expression was not encouraging. 

"You understand I needed to rescue Colin, don't you?"

"No." His father straightened. "I don't understand it at all. He's insignificant, you have more important things to accomplish, and it was his own damn fault. You should have left him to his fate."

"Oh." Harry couldn't think what to say. He turned to leave. Behind him, Severus cleared his throat. 

"It was accomplished combat magic, Harry. For that ... thank you."

Harry managed a delighted grin back before Dumbledore closed the door behind them. 

 


	77. Uncertain Times

 

The next day started oddly. The papers carried news of coordinated Death Eater attacks on some mixed families in Muggle London, near the Leaky Cauldron. Again, it involved Dementors working with wizards, but in some cases the attacking wizards seemed more affected than the chosen victims. Two of the five attacks had been countered without fatalities, and only one had achieved a full slaughter. Despite those deaths, no one was talking about that, however; they were all whispering about the sketchy reports of a foiled werewolf attack at Hogwarts. The Daily Prophet speculated that the werewolf professor may have been involved. People leaned close to each other over cooling food, and cast frequent glances up at the empty seat at the staff table. Harry saw one first-year in tears.

When most of the students had gathered in the great hall, Dumbledore stood. The room fell silent. 

"You have no doubt read the rumors of werewolf attacks at Hogwarts."

A buzz of conversation started and died. People listened with painful intensity. 

"The rumors are, in part, true." When the brief tumult of gasps and exclamations had died down, the headmaster resumed. "There were several werewolves, not in the school, but on the grounds. A foolhardy student ventured outside --" Harry thought it was most unfair how many eyes flicked to him, at those words -- "and another student, and two professors, followed to rescue him. The student is safe, and uninfected, although he is currently under Madam Pomfrey's care, recuperating from other effects of the experience." 

That provoked more murmurs. Harry guessed people were trying to work out who -- other than him, apparently -- might have done such a thing.

"On his behalf, a hundred points from Gryffindor." The headmaster's tone was grim. At the sight of the change in the tallies, the Gryffindors exclaimed angrily, and the Slytherins jeered. Harry saw smiles at the Ravenclaw table as students bent towards each other to whisper.

"On behalf of Harry Potter, fifty points from Gryffindor for being reckless enough to follow --" Harry choked with indignation -- "fifty points from Gryffindor for not telling myself or his Head of House as soon as he realized someone was in danger, and a hundred points _to_ Gryffindor for applying his lessons and flying skills to rescue all involved ... without injury to himself, for once." 

Stones flew down and up in the hourglasses in a small, clattering storm. The Gryffindors didn't know whether to complain or cheer, but Harry felt better. Gryffindor was a hundred points down, total, but he himself had earned what he had lost, so Colin would be the one blamed -- and he could not help feeling that Colin deserved it. He was seriously considering cornering Colin and thrashing him, himself.

"I wish to note that Mr. Potter's efforts were a marvelous application of his studies. _However,_ had he or his friends come to me immediately upon realizing one of their classmates had ventured outside -- rather than trying to find him themselves -- the matter might have been resolved with less harm and far less risk. The time has come to admit that we are at war. Please share relevant information with the people who can help you, or we are all doomed."

The room was silent. Harry felt his face heat.

"On one point, the rumors are entirely mistaken. Professor Lupin was involved, but as a rescuer, not an attacker. It was his unfaltering imposition of his own body between the attackers and the attacked, at great peril to his own life, that allowed the first student and his fellow professor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- to escape, uninfected."

 _But Severus always wanted to be appreciated,_ Harry thought, wondering why Severus wished to remain anonymous. _He would be hailed as a hero for this! The papers would.... oh. It would betray his loyalties to Voldemort. And the hearing is still five days away. He can't._ Harry felt oddly guilty. 

"Professor Lupin was badly wounded, but his werewolf form recovers quickly. I do not anticipate more than an extra day of absence from his classes."

"Now, you are all to go to your houses and stay there until dinner time. A special buffet luncheon will be served in your common rooms. This is not a punishment, but a means to protect you from the invasion of reporters who will arrive here shortly. I promise you will have your usual freedoms back after dinner."

 

"I don't know what he's being so coy about," Ron complained, as they headed for the door. "We all know it was Colin." 

"All Gryffindor knows." 

"The rest of the school will know by the end of the day." Ron shot Harry a look. "You really have no idea how he's doing?" 

"He was unconscious last I saw, and you know I can't talk about it."

"Maybe if we can sneak off--" Ron silenced abruptly.

"There will be no 'sneaking' today, Mr. Weasley." 

The precise voice stopped Ron in his tracks. He scrunched his eyes closed. Harry stopped as well and waited for Professor McGonagall to step up beside him. The students coming up the stairs behind her hesitated, then continued to either side. 

"Good morning, Professor."

"Good morning, Mr. Potter." McGonagall nodded politely. "I am afraid there is an exception for you. We are expected at Headmaster Dumbledore's office in a few minutes."

"That's not fair!" Ron exclaimed. "He rescued Colin from werewolves! It's bad enough he didn't get points; he can't get in trouble!"

"I did not say he was in trouble, Mr. Weasley, I said he was expected in the headmaster's office. Please try to show some restraint."

"Be quiet about it, Ron," Harry said. "This is dangerous." 

McGonagall hesitated, but then nodded. "I have been given that impression." She started up the stairs. "Come along, Mr. Potter. We must not keep the headmaster waiting."

 

When they entered the office, they found Severus already there, standing by the fireplace. He glanced at them, then looked away again, into the flames. Harry wasn't sure whether or not to approach him, but the chairs were all on the other side of the room. As a compromise, he walked over to Fawkes, who gave him a soft, cooed greeting. It wasn't until he was stroking the brilliant feathers that Harry noticed the room's other occupant -- Remus Lupin, slumped in a chair and possibly asleep. The post-moon pallor of his drawn face was emphasized by his garments -- uncharacteristically, he was dressed in plain black robes. Harry wondered if they were borrowed, and Lupin had yet to get back to his own rooms. Considering his obvious exhaustion, it did not seem unlikely.

Harry was just wondering, again, whether to attempt to speak to his father with Professor McGonagall present, when the door opened, admitting Dumbledore and Hagrid. The room suddenly seemed much more crowded. 

"Please have a seat, Rubeus," Dumbledore said. "The rest of you may arrange yourselves as you are most comfortable. Remus? Are you with us?"

"Here," came a quiet voice. The eyes did not open.

Dumbledore frowned, but nodded. "Good. Now, in the spirit of taking my own advice, I believe it is time we shared some information. I, also, would have done better to do so before last night. Hagrid, if you could update the others on the werewolves, please?"

Hagrid twitched. He seemed to want to rise. Eventually, he lowered his head and said:

"Well, we found 'em alrigh', righ' where Harry'd said they'd be. There were two dead o' wounds, another dead fer no reason I could see, and two Stupefied." Hagrid cleared his throat and glanced at Severus. "We destroyed the knife -- sorry, Professor."

Severus waved a hand in dismissal. "For the best. You left no identifiable fragments, I hope."

"Not a one."

"Good."

Hagrid squirmed. "We revived th' others. I tried to Obliviate the white one, and he-- I think he was afraid o' us--"

McGonagall snorted. "It attacked him. I killed it." 

Harry tensed at McGonagall's cool words. "Couldn't you have--"

"I wish so, Mr. Potter. But better that than to give it -- sorry, him -- to the authorities." Professor McGonagall spoke steadily, but her voice had the tightness that Harry knew meant that she was unhappy with her options. 

"The Departmen' fer the Control o' Magical Creatures...." Hagrid's voice caught. His face was now completely hidden behind his shaggy hair. 

Remus cleared his throat. The soft, rough sound made Harry jump. "The official punishment is the Kiss." They had to listen closely to hear the tired voice. "Without Dementors, the department has been ... improvising."

Harry shuddered. Hagrid blew his nose and started again.

"Then we ha' the brown one. Harry ha' said she helped Remus."

"When nip came to rend," Remus said dryly. His voice was stronger, but his eyes remained closed.

"Well ... We le' tha' one go--"

"You _what?_ " Remus's yelp was loud enough to be audible under Severus's enraged shriek of the same words. 

"The wolf ran, and Hagrid got in my way," McGonagall said precisely. She sighed. "I know this increases your risk, Severus. However, we have been discussing withdrawing you for several months, and the difference between combat and cold-blooded murder--"

"Good lord." Remus had his eyes open now, but didn't seem to see any of them. "Selena. The little fool may well go to Randolph to argue attack limits--" 

"If Voldemort discovers that I fought his agents--!"

"Then perhaps it is time to retire you!"

Dumbledore turned from the window. Everyone else fell silent. His expression was sad as he peered at each of them over his spectacles. "Unfortunately, I cannot withdraw Severus until _after_ the Death Eater initiations at Halloween." His voice and demeanor were mild, but Harry could tell his decision would not be altered. "If we must watch them from the outside, we need to know _whom_ we should be watching." 

"We can figure it out!" Harry shouted. 

"Harry," Severus spoke quietly now. "It is not your decision. You do not have the experience to--"

"You'll die!" Harry whirled on him. " Every time I get anyone, they die!"

"Harry. I have survived seven years of Voldemort's service; I should be able to manage another six days." 

"Not if she _tells!"_

Harry looked desperately towards Remus. The werewolf's face was hidden behind his hands, but Harry could see the wet glint of tears between his fingers. 

"And then, of course," Dumbledore said mildly, "Harry is also endangered, under the circumstances."

"Don' know what this has t'do with Harry," Hagrid protested. 

Dumbledore looked over and met Harry's eyes. Harry saw his shoulders lift and fall in a sigh. "Perhaps you should go stand next to Severus, Harry."

Harry, quieting, nodded. From Dumbledore's reference to sharing information, he had been expecting that this was coming. He took four steady steps to join Severus. His father had gone even paler than usual, and his face was expressionless. Harry gave him an encouraging little half-smile, then turned back to the others. He straightened, lifted his chin and looked back at them in challenge. There was a moment of silence.

"Dear Merlin, Albus!" McGonagall was staring at Harry in shocked horror. "What have you done to James Potter's son?"

"I'm afraid, Minerva," Severus said dryly, his hand coming to Harry's shoulder, "that it is actually a matter of 'what did James Potter do to _my_ son." His grip was tight, but Harry would not for his life had shown that it hurt, and risked losing the contact altogether. He stood carefully motionless. 

McGonagall was still spluttering incoherently when Dumbledore took over. 

"Do you recall, Minerva, how we believed, for a few months in 1979, that Severus had died?"

"Well, yes, but--"

"Before that time, he asked for Lily to receive an Heir Spell, and James consented."

"Then.... but...." McGonagall had resumed staring, but still seemed unable to string two words together.

"Lily and James managed to enhance the Paternity Charm to last until he was sixteen. They brought in the law of squares, I expect, and--"

"Hang on, here!" Hagrid had sat bolt upright. "Are yeh sayin' that Harry is _Snape's_ son?"

"Correct. James and Lily both sent letters to Harry's sixteenth birthday, as they had told no one--"

"Do we know those are genuine, Albus?"

Severus's grip dug in still more, and Harry tensed. The touch lightened, but remained; Harry regretted his earlier stoicism. "We have the Herem contract."

Remus let out a little laugh, or possibly a sob. "Not to mention James's scent all over the parchment. Oh god." 

McGonagall studied Harry for a moment, then took a deep breath. "Does this affect the prophecy?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "No. It says 'to,' not 'of.' The parents he was born _to_ have not changed."

"Not to mention that Severus has defied Voldemort a good deal more than three times!" Harry burst out angrily.

Dumbledore shook his head, but with the first genuine smile Harry had seen on him that day. "The structure implies defiance as a couple. Severus defied Voldemort _with_ Lily only once, I believe -- leaving us you." 

McGonagall sniffed. "As if a second Potter was not enough trouble -- now I am expected to teach a second _Snape?"_

Harry laughed with relief at the implied acceptance. "Well, I expect I'll keep the name anyway. I need something of his -- besides my Patronus -- and Severus has never had a good thing to say about his father." Harry glanced up, looking for confirmation that was still right, and Severus nodded slightly. For all that, Harry thought he did not look pleased. "That is all right, Father?"

"Fine." Severus grimaced. "In fact, I tend to agree."

"You're upset."

"Perhaps we should worry about the werewolf. Remus, you suspect --" Severus reddened. Harry suspected he had not intended to use Remus's given name. He swallowed and continued. "-- suspect that she will return to Randolph and attempt to conceal her betrayal?"

"God no!" Remus rubbed his forehead. "No, Selena does things all the way. If she has given up on the movement, she will either come to me, or try to hide. If she hasn't, she will return and tell him what she did and why." His face tensed yet more. "And he will kill her, of course, so she dies without saving you."

The long silence that followed was broken by McGonagall clearing her throat. 

"Perhaps ... will Liber -- Randolph -- think to question her about the people involved?" 

Remus took several deep breaths. Harry tried to imagine postulating the circumstances of the death of someone he loved, and he felt a pang of sympathy. 

"Perhaps, perhaps not. He is capricious. And she may not be able to tell him anything useful." His brow furrowed. "Severus, you saw her at one gathering only, correct?"

"Yes."

"Were you close to her, or had you recently been where she stood? She'd be highly unlikely to recognize you by sight, as a wolf -- the problem is whether or not she would recognize your scent." 

The hand finally dropped from Harry's shoulder. Severus began to pace. 

"I did not stand near her. She may have caught my scent in the area, however, as I was there before the delegation arrived. That would tell her only that the person you protected had also been with the Dark Lord, but that would be enough, if she notices -- there is only one staff member here who might be in both places."

"She also knows that I loved you," Remus said quietly. "Sorry -- drunken confessions one Christmas Eve when she was nineteen. She may theorize about which Hogwarts staff member I would protect with such fury."

"Just how well do you _know_ this girl?" Severus demanded. 

"I took her in as a child. Her family threw her out when she was bitten. She was thirteen years old, and out on the street." 

There was another awkward pause. When Severus spoke, his voice was harsh. 

"And she rejects us back." 

"I tried--"

"Don't worry, Remus. We all learn to be predators, in time."

" _I'm_ not," Remus said plaintively. "I'm _not._ " And he hid his face in the back of the chair and stayed that way, his body moving with quick, rough breaths. Harry went over and laid a hand on his back. 

"Moony." He couldn't think of anything to say, but that seemed to be enough. The heaves of breath became slower and more shallow.

"I didn't mean _you,"_ Severus tried awkwardly. Harry noticed that McGonagall was watching him with mingled disbelief and pleasure. 

"I apologize for keeping you here, Remus," Dumbledore said. "I know you need time to recover, but we needed your information. After the meeting, you can floo back--"

"He cannot," Severus interrupted. "He disconnects from the floo network for the full moon -- that's why he hasn't been back yet." 

Harry, remembering how Remus had rubbed little circles on his back when he was crying, tried to do the same. "Shh."

"We will need to wait and see if she contacts you," Dumbledore continued, as if Remus were sitting up in his chair, listening carefully, and nodding. "Fortunately, it sounds like the short-term risk is not too great. You see, Minerva, the other reason we cannot withdraw Severus now is that we cannot afford to tip our hand to Voldemort in advance of the hearing." 

 

Hagrid and Professor McGonagall were dismissed soon after, but Dumbledore kept Harry to discuss his conduct. Harry thought it was most unfair for them to go at him three-on-one. Severus was largely silent, but his nod at Remus's faint "you promised me," worse than all the rest of it. When Harry left Dumbledore's office, it was all he could do not to slam the door, and he was completely unprepared to find Hagrid waiting for him. 

"Harry?"

"Yeah?" 

"Yeh alrigh' wi'this?"

"They're taking my broom!" Harry fumed. "They're giving it to Hooch, and I can only have it for games and scheduled practices!"

 Hagrid waved that aside. "I mean, he treatin' yeh alrigh'?"

Harry caught himself on the edge of a rant. "Oh. Yes, fine."

"Las' month, yeh seemed...." Hagrid trailed off uncertainly. Harry had to think a moment to remember last month -- September seemed so long ago!

"Oh, that. _That_ was from trying not to tell Ron and Hermione." Harry looked around the small space at the top of the spiral stairs. "I know we're still in the headmaster's rooms, but I think -- we shouldn't talk about this here, not even vaguely. But other than the secrecy, I'm fine." 

 

 

When Harry got back to the common room, he was immediately descended upon by at least a dozen students who wanted to know what had happened to Colin. Harry couldn't see why they cared. 

"I don't know."

"Well, you must know something!"

"How was he when you found him?"

"I don't know," Harry repeated, with increasing vehemence. "He wasn't bitten, but he'd fallen and was unconscious by the time we got back."

Lavender burst into tears. 

"It's all my fault!"

Harry gave a disgusted snort. "Believe me -- Colin was a reckless idiot long before he decided he fancied you."

"Harry!" Lavender's eyes were wide. "How can you say that? He _adores_ you!"

"Well that's not _my_ problem!"

"You're so _cruel!"_

"You don't mind putting him down when he's bothering you, do you? But when he nearly gets a friend of mine killed, I'm supposed to suck it up?"

"Who did he nearly get killed?" Dean asked.

"Remus! And other people did die."

"I thought everyone was fine!"

"Werewolves in the attack died. There were two dead when I got there." 

"But they're _werewolves,"_ someone objected.

"So is Remus, remember?" Harry heard the edge of rage creeping into his voice. He closed his eyes and tried to relax. Just like Occlumency. Let it go for now. When he opened them, Parvati was staring at him. 

"What?" he snarled. He tried to keep his lip from curling in contempt, but he felt the light pull. 

"You look really creepy, sometimes, Harry."

"Thank you." 

A tug at his elbow turned out to be Hermione. 

"Come with me, Harry." 

Harry, recognizing the request as a rescue, went with her to the corner. Hermione drove off anyone who approached with her best prefect glare. 

"I think you had better stay up in your room as much as possible. Even if you don't tell them anything...." 

Harry sighed. He suspected he could complete the thought. _You look too much like him when you're angry._ "You're probably right."

"When they let us out of here, we'll go to your lounge." 

Harry grinned. Trust Hermione to understand that he needed to talk to her. "Okay."

"If I get a chance, I'll ask McGonagall if we can go earlier. For now, stay up in your dormitory." 

"I don't believe Lavender!"

"Neither do I. She thinks it's _romantic."_ Hermione made a face. "A boy nearly got himself killed for me ... Oooo!"

"Hey, _I_ nearly got killed for _you_ in our first year. So did Ron."

"But that was useful!" 

"The essential difference between Colin's recklessness and mine, I think." Harry tried to smile at her. "Okay, I'll go up to my room and sulk where no one can see me." 

 

Dean came up a while later, carrying a sword that usually hung above the fireplace. "Is now good? You know, for that outfit with the pirate shirt?"

"Um...." Harry had been planning to put Dean off until after the hearing. On the other hand, he could hardly claim he was too busy -- he'd been lying on his back in bed, staring up at the canopy. "I'm not sure...."

"Oh, come on!"

Harry had a sudden thought. "Well, the trousers -- they're kind of supposed to surprise people. Could you not show the sketch to anyone -- or talk about it -- until after the ball?"

"Oh, I knew that! Of course not." Dean laid the sword gingerly on his bed. "Come on, now. Get changed."

 

Harry thought he had handled the matter neatly. A few minutes later, he was standing by the narrow window he had flown out of the night before. The breeze brushed the thin fabric of the shirt into his side and fluttered the cuffs across his hands. He felt the coolness of air where the lacings of the pants left his skin exposed. 

Dean had originally wanted him to hold the sword out, but had listened to reason when Harry said it was too heavy to keep up for any length of time, so now the point touched the ground, as if Harry were just resting it there for a moment. Dean had him face slightly away, then twist back. The sword was rearranged again. After a moment, Dean nodded, then, to Harry's surprise, reached for his glasses. 

Harry still had both hands on the hilt of the massive sword, so Dean's quick grab was successful. 

"Hey!" Harry stepped back, ruining the careful pose.

"Just your glasses, Harry."

"But ...!"

"You can put them on if anyone comes in, all right?" Dean rearranged Harry, who decided making a fuss would be as suspicious as his appearance. When Harry was posed again, Dean nodded and looked him over. It was only then that he frowned studiously at Harry's face.

"You look...."

"I look what?"

Dean shrugged. "Different. I can't pin it down, yet." His frowned deepened. "It's not just the glasses, either -- that would be your eyes, or the sides of your face. This is ... your chin used to be pointier." He shook his head. "That doesn't make any sense! You haven't put on weight."

Harry carefully shifted the sword to one hand and sent a quick silencing charm at the door. "Dean, I would really appreciate if you --"

"Oh my god!" Dean, wide-eyed, grinned at him, then ran back to his bed. "It's ... just _hold_ there a minute." He did a very rapid sketch, and came back with a cartoon drawing of Harry. "You look like Snape, see?" He sketched in a large, curved nose, and some string holding it on. "You'd just need the lines here --" some quick strokes added the marks of Snape's habitual scowl, "-- and here." Dean stopped, frowning, mid-way through adding lines around one eye. "No, that's wrong -- your eyes are completely the wrong shape. The rest of it works, though!" 

A hint of uncertainly crossed his face as he met Harry's eyes. 

"Thank you," Harry said dryly. He couldn't help following it with a Snape sneer -- it wasn't until Dean twitched back that he realized he had. 

"So ..." Dean's attention shifted between Harry and the paper. "You, um ... don't look like the bloke I've shared a room with for the last five years, but I'm sure you are. What's up? Is it a scheme of some sort, or did something go wrong?"

"Neither, really."

"So?"

Harry took a long breath. "How about I tell you tonight, when we can go to the Room of Requirement? I need to talk to Ron and Hermione there, anyway."

Dean chewed on his lower lip for a moment, then nodded. "Okay."

"And in the meantime, you don't show anyone that picture, and you _don't_ talk to anyone about my appearance."

Dean shrugged. "All right. Harry, look -- is this prank important, or war important?"

"War important."

"Ah." Dean reached over and touched the sword, his hand resting on the blade just below the crossguard. "On my honor as a Gryffindor and a D.A. member, then."

Harry let out a breath. "Thanks."

Dean grinned. "Though I really think you should try going to the ball as Snape -- it would be hilarious!"

"Until someone died, yeah." 

Dean shifted back uncertainly. "Really?"

"Really. Please keep quiet." 

"I will." Dean backed away. "Let's do this sketch, then." 

 

After dinner, as promised, they were given their freedom until lights-out. Harry took Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Dean directly to the Room of Requirement. The room looked more like the first bubble lounge than it had in a while -- Harry wondered if he needed the low lights to explain matters to Dean.

Dean had some trouble believing that Snape had produced a child with a Muggle-born witch, at least in any non-violent manner. 

"But he hates Muggle-borns!"

"Not that much, really." Harry looked desperately at Hermione, then away. "And it's varied a lot...."

I spoke to him recently," Hermione volunteered. Ron looked up in surprise. "My impression is that he is _terrified_ of Muggle-born witches and wizards." 

Harry frowned. "In ways. You more than most, though, Hermione --"

"Because I was seeing you?" Hermione guessed, her voice bitter.

"'Cause you remind him of m'Mum," Harry muttered. Hermione stared at him. He continued quickly. "He doesn't ... He doesn't think you're pretty, at all; it's not that. Just that you're brilliant and courageous and quick, and try to protect people.... He's afraid he'll admire you, I think."

Hermione huffed with indignation. "Well, he certainly fooled me!" 

Harry shrugged. He had probably said too much already.

"So, this only needs to be a secret until November first, right?" Dean asked. "Whenever the hearing starts?"

"Right."

"What do you do _then?"_

Harry shrugged. "Just try to protect him from Voldemort, I suppose." 

"No, I mean what do you do about Gryffindor? I mean, I trust you. I decided last year that I would trust you, no matter what people said. But Snape! People will go off on it as if you're different, somehow." 

Harry shrugged. "There are always some people who distrust me for some stupid reason. I refuse to worry about it."

"So what did you need us here for?" Ron was stretched out on the far couch, much as he had lain the night of the bubbles. "Moral support? Bodyguards?"

"No, I needed to tell you about the werewolves."

Ron sat up and swung his feet to the ground. "All right!"

Harry realized that he couldn't tell Dean, who didn't know Severus was a spy.

"Dean, could you go? This is more private stuff. War-private, with things I can't tell you." He smiled apologetically at Dean. "You'll understand it all by this time next week."

Dean shrugged. "I suppose I can be patient." He hesitated. "Should I go back, or just wait outside?"

"Wait outside," Harry answered. "This will only take a moment." 

When the door was closed, and Harry had renewed the wards, he turned to Hermione, Ron and Ginny. 

"Look, the thing is that my d- father -- Professor Snape, whatever -- was involved. Lord Tom mustn't know he fought the werewolves -- he should have helped them, right?" 

"Oh!" Ron said. "Right. I didn't know he was involved, though." 

Hermione frowned. "I didn't tell, Harry."

"Oh." Harry considered that. "Well, probably better that he knows than having him speculate." He looked at Ron. "So don't talk about it, all right? And don't ask me in front of people."

"All right." 

"Shall we let Dean back in then?"

"Can I tell you a bit about Shadow, first?" Hermione asked. "Or Ginny, could you take Dean back to Gryffindor soon?"

"Oh, tell us now!" Ginny leaned forward. "Dean can wait a minute, and I want to hear, too!"

Harry was curious too. "Are you understanding more of it, now? Can you find him reliably?"

"I can remember words, now! And yes. Remember how Parkinson was playing with him because Malfoy hated it?" 

"Shadow bit him?" Ron guessed hopefully. Harry slapped him lightly on the arm. 

"No, better. He's still annoyed, but trying to ignore it. Parkinson's feeding Shadow, though, so he's practically living in the Slytherin common room. It couldn't be more perfect for spying!"

"Do they talk about anything important, there?"

"Well...." Hermione hesitated. "Not directly. I'm getting a feel for Slytherin alliances, though -- they're more complicated then I thought. Parkinson isn't just randomly taunting -- she's actually feuding with Malfoy."

"Over what?" Ron asked. 

"She said he's gone soft on Muggles and mixed-bloods -- Harry comes up a lot. She spent a while last night telling Goyle not to trust him. Crabbe came in on her side."

"He did?" Ron was wide-eyed. 

"Oh, honestly, Ron!" Harry found himself unaccountably angry at his friend's surprise. "Have you seen Malfoy with Crabbe, this year? Even once?" 

"I've seen him with Goyle."

"Oddly, they turn out to actually be _different people._ Goyle likes Draco. Crabbe doesn't."

"Since when?"

"Since his parents stopped requiring him to! I told you about that!"

Hermione nodded. "Goyle does like Crabbe, though, so it's not a simple split. He has a girlfriend, though, and she's advising him to stay neutral."

"I can see that."

"Then there's a sort of ... I don't know ... a liberal group? Mostly fourth and fifth years with a fifth-year leader I don't know the name of. They're all for halting the attacks on Muggles, which they say are self-destructive and foolish."

Ron hrumphed. "You're certain these people are Slytherins?"

"The Slytherins seem to think so. And _they_ \-- the liberal group -- treat Draco as a sort of ... senior patron or something, though he never says anything as directly as they do." Hermione stopped suddenly and turned a bit pink. "Except he said I was 'a clever girl, and had become really quite reasonable.' When he was fighting with Parkinson, yesterday, that is."

 

 Harry was still thinking about Hermione's account when he found himself sitting next to Draco in Potions on Monday morning. Draco was frowning studiously at the pile of coarsely crumbled pixie wings on the counter while they waited for their solution to come to the boil. Harry wondered if he really had relaxed his attitudes towards wizarding purity, or if he was just posturing. _I suppose the real question is if he is posturing, why? Is this his long-term strategy, or does he have some scheme to betray someone? Me, for example? Or perhaps he's trying to draw Severus out and betray him._

Harry hung back on the way up the stairs, and Draco stayed beside him. When everyone else was far ahead, Draco said:

"Well?"

"I was just wondering...." Harry trailed off uncertainly.

"Spit it out, Potter." 

"Do you mind me being a mixed-blood?"

Draco snorted. "Oh, unbelievably! It's simply agonizing tolerating your presence -- that's why I avoid you so assiduously."

Harry laughed and Draco grinned at him.

"You git! What brought that on?"

"I was just thinking how strange it was that I sit with you -- voluntarily -- in two classes a day, three days a week. I wondered if you were actually getting anything out of this."

A Gryffindor would have become indignant. Draco thought it over. "Apart from the political benefits, in Defense Against the Dark Arts I sit with the only other person who seems to _know_ anything about Dark Arts."

"Oh." 

"Everyone else thinks I'm eeevil."

Harry smirked. "But I, of course, know it."

"See here!"

Harry laughed. "It's true! You stole the last piece of my lemon cake!"

 

They walked into the Defense classroom slightly late and giggling. Draco silenced immediately when he looked up at the front of the classroom. Today's substitute was not his head of house, but Professor Dumbledore. 

"Oh, there you are!" said Dumbledore brightly. "Take your seats -- we were just about to start." 

Draco looked nervously at Harry, so Harry jerked his head toward an empty table, and they sat and took out parchment, ink, and quills. In the silent classroom, it seemed an unusually noisy activity. It wasn't until they were set, quills poised, that Dumbledore spoke. 

"Very good. Now, it has come to my attention that you have learned at least one hex to which you were not taught the countercharm. I have here a list of all hexes that you have learned this year -- at least as noted by Professor Lupin. For each one, I would like you to tell me what you know about countering it."

 

For a lesson with Dumbledore, it was surprisingly grueling. It took them the entire period to go through the hexes and discuss them. The only spell he actually taught them was an exhausting healing charm for puncture wounds and ruptures -- other than that, he simply made notes. Harry hoped Remus wasn't going to get in trouble. 

"There we go!" the headmaster said brightly. "I'll give this list to Professor Lupin, and I'm confident he'll manage to work them into his lesson plan somewhere. Now you are all -- except for Mr. Potter -- dismissed." He stepped into the aisle, and people began hurriedly to rise. Harry waited. Draco, beside him, was still sealing his ink when Dumbledore stopped next to Harry's chair. 

"May I interest you in lunch in my office, Harry?"

"Of course, sir." Harry hurriedly began to shovel his things into his school bag. "Sorry. I expected you'd keep me here." 

"I am in a bit of a hurry, but please finish."

Harry nodded and got to his feet. "Bye, Draco."

Draco nodded formally. "Good day, Harry." From the look he shot Harry as he left, Harry thought he had really wanted to say "good luck!"

************

Severus stared at his cup of tea while he waited for Harry to arrive. He wondered if it was time to switch to some stronger stimulant -- he was likely to be up far into the night, and he would need to teach, tomorrow. 

Voldemort had, of course, noticed that several of his intended victims appeared to have a means to re-open his agents' vulnerability to Dementors, and Severus was, indubitably, the most logical source of such a potion. Severus twitched as he remembered the torture of the previous night. He had maintained Occlumency through two rounds of the Cruciatus Curse and several more prosaic attacks, pushing down not only the truth, but the fear that his mind would be ripped into shreds, revealing all. Between assaults, he had repeated, with conviction, his plausible fiction: that Dumbledore had asked him for several batches of both Coeur de Leon Potion and the Bleeding Heart Draught. Of course, the potion he had provided was far more specific in its function than the Bleeding Heart Draught, but without an unopened vial of it to analyze, they could not know that. He was reasonably certain his lord had believed him -- believed that he had been foiled by Dumbledore's cleverness, not his own man's treachery.

Severus put down his tea and rubbed at his forehead. He was still afraid of being less useful, but now that the moment was almost upon him, he had to admit that he was ready for all of this -- the lies, the caution, the torture, the complicity in monstrous deeds -- to be over. 

"Perhaps that is enough penance, then," he whispered. A shiver of amazement passed through him at his own daring. He looked at his calloused, stained hands; pictured the pretty ring on Harry's, on Lily's. _Do you think I might be released, dear ghost?_ He had just heard her answering laughter, or a shadow of it, far off and faint -- the sort of laugh that preceded telling him he was a goose -- when Harry's bedroom door opened. 

"Hi." Harry paused in the doorway and frowned slightly, but after a moment, he stepped forward and swung his legs over the bench to sit. "You look wrecked. I didn't think Kingsley was that bad." 

Severus winced. At a luncheon meeting in Dumbledore's office, the circle of their secret had been extended to included Shacklebolt; He had come from the Ministry with Nymphadora Tonks and Arthur Weasley, to join Bill Weasley, Minerva McGonagall, and a haggard, but thankfully emotionally competent Remus Lupin, to brainstorm potential problems and counter-maneuvers for the hearing. 

"I needed more warning. What I told the headmaster was entirely true -- a simmering solution of sunseed and griffin's blood does _not_ allow for changes of schedule to fit the duty rosters of minor Aurors." 

"It's a bravery potion, right?"

"Coeur de Leon? Yes." Severus snorted. "Not that we need it; I simply need to be making it." He pushed the teapot over to Harry. "What happened before I arrived?"

Harry shrugged. "They'd told him before I got there. When we showed up, he asked Dumbledore if it was true. Then he wanted to know if it affected the prophecy." He rolled his eyes. "Then he wanted to know if I was going to become 'difficult.'"

"If he thought you were not so before, he obviously hasn't seen much of you."

Harry laughed. "That's more or less what McGonagall said, but much more tactfully."

"So, you are to be masked, again."

Harry nodded, but his expression was, at best, resigned. "They have a point about getting into the Ministry. If I'm questioned at the door, someone may tip Fudge off, and then he could delay the hearing until the end of the session, while he went off and planned."

"Hm." Severus smirked. "I think it will be entertaining, seeing it dissolve as you enter the chamber."

"And then trying to convince them that I really am me! It's putting it on I hate -- I wish we could just use a glamour." 

"Easier, no doubt, but hardly safe for these circumstances. Some Aurors can detect glamours, as Shacklebolt reminded us." Severus shrugged. "It will be no trouble to remove, at least -- the chamber itself will take care of that for you." 

For a moment, they were both silent. Harry placed a finger against the spout of the teapot and moved it through a full circle. 

"Did Remus ever tell you why he'd left his room, that night?"

Severus looked uncomfortable. He nodded. "When we were speaking to the headmaster this morning. He said he looked out his window and saw a student leave. He says it isn't as easy to see things as a werewolf. He was afraid it was you." 

"Oh. But wouldn't his door...."

"Charmed to open for him, by someone from the Wolven ... that group. He had told Dumbledore, apparently, but had pleaded it be allowed to stand, in case he needed to defend you."

"Oh." Harry shifted. "Well, good." 

"Harry...."

Severus's voice faded out. Harry looked over at him. "Yes?"

"It's not like you to be amused at the thought of being challenged by a crowd of distressed, possibly angry, strangers."

Harry puzzled this over for a moment. "You mean the Wizengamot, when the mask comes off? I shouldn't find that funny?"

"Exactly. I think you should keep in mind that, taking into account the amplification caused by your use of Genio, you effectively cast the Weakening Hex four times. That will have consequences." 

"Oh." Harry tried to think whether he felt any different. "I don't think ... I haven't been lording it over anyone."

"No. At its current effect, it may be no worse than enjoying attention -- that is, after all, power of a sort. But you should stay aware of your desires. Getting over this -- to the extent you choose to -- will take some time."

"The extent I choose to?" Harry asked sharply. 

"It might not be ill for you to be a bit bolder with an audience than you have been before now."

"I'll keep it in mind." There was another, longer silence. Harry cleared his throat. 

"So. Is that all that's wrong, or is there something else?"

"Wrong?"

"Something's been bothering you since I got here."

"I hadn't expected --" Severus just managed to stop himself from saying that he hadn't expected the effects of torture or lack of sleep to hit him so early. "I'm ... very busy." He stood up. "Actually -- I ... I need to get back to work."

Harry stood also, but did not say his goodbyes. "I'll help." 

"These are very complex potions, Harry."

Harry lowered his head stubbornly, but smiled. "Which no doubt require some very simple chopping, stirring, and timing. Besides, I just got here."

Severus hesitated. He had intended to have Harry stay longer, when he had invited him. He just hadn't been expecting to feel so taxed by the previous night's events, or to need to make more of the Dementor-resistance potion and its antidote. More families had been attacked on Saturday night than he had projected, although the werewolf assaults, as Voldemort had no doubt intended, had dominated the press reports. Severus could not rule out a second round of attacks on Thursday.

"If you don't mind."

Harry smirked. "If I minded, I wouldn't have suggested it. What -- you think I'd rather go to bed?" 

"I would." 

Harry appraised Severus thoughtfully. "Yeah. You look like it." 

To cover his discomfort, Severus turned and started off for the lab, Harry, to his relief, did not press the point, but slipped on his cloak and followed quietly. In the privacy of the lab, he did his assigned tasks with a competence that Severus would not have wanted to credit in the boy, six months earlier. 

 

Severus began work on the Dementor-resistance potion. His exhaustion did not abate, but it mattered less as he worked. Familiar motions and the comfort of his own practiced skill detached him from physical concerns. He was safely ensconced in his brewing when Harry spoke again. 

"So. What's wrong?"

"Wrong?"

"You look like death warmed up, and you seemed to feel you needed me out of your kitchen. Why?"

"My lord is suspicious."

"Meaning what? He ... hurt you?"

Severus hesitated. The potion below him was grey and white as a dead fish, with little glints of shiny black, like flint. "Yes."

There was a short silence. "It will be over soon."

"That part will be." 

Harry grimaced. "Then there's the Mark."

"Yes. I pledged myself to him for life; the price of faithlessness is high." 

They worked in silence for a while longer. Severus left the first potion simmering and started the antidote. Like the Coeur de Leon, it used griffin's blood -- rare, dangerous, and heady -- but only a touch. He tipped it into a focus of the previous potion, sprinkled it with blossoms of bleeding heart, and watched the grey and white turn the color of dried blood, a heart meant not to withstand, but to be ripped apart. "It's so odd--" He stopped himself. He didn't know why he wanted to say "I like you here," "thank you for staying," or other, more dangerous, things. 

"What's odd?"

"How ... how one becomes accustomed to ... company." 

Harry smiled. Severus had the distinct impression he might as well have made some ridiculous declaration of love. 

"I like being with you." Harry, somehow, seemed utterly comfortable saying that. "And you should spend more time with people." He frowned at the root he was mincing. "Are you.... Does Remus's conduct satisfy you?"

Severus tried to compose a careful reply, but his mind was woozy from lack of sleep. He resorted to saying exactly what he was thinking. 

"I am satisfied, yes. I cannot change my public behavior now, of course, but you may."

"Really?"

Severus felt unaccountably happy at the boy's delight. "Yes. Meet with him whenever you want." A brief puff of breath escaped him, but he wasn't certain if he had intended a laugh or some more derisive sound. "Certainly, if he would die for me, he would die for you." 

The steady clack of Harry's descending knife blade paused. He frowned thoughtfully. "I suppose." He looked down. "Are you going to be at the Halloween Ball, at all? Dumbledore made it sound as if you'd be with the Death Eaters."

"I will be there for the beginning of the ball." Severus heard his voice go harsh at the mere thought of it. He hated such things. Of course, the Markings would be worse. For a moment, he was transported to his own induction -- the elation of being accepted, included, _important_ to a group of such power and a leader of such eminence and vision. On Thursday, he would watch more young fools -- many, he feared, ones who looked to him for approbation -- proudly bare their arms for the Mark he now bore with such loathing. 

"Oh come on!" Harry's voice was teasing. "Anyone would think you'd rather be with Lord Tom than be obliged to watch students have fun!" 

"If 'Lord Tom' was not claiming some of my students, I suspect I would be."

He heard Harry's knife descend in its steady rhythm ... once, twice, three times ... Harry let out a quick breath. "Do you know who?"

"If I knew that, I could NOT GO!" Severus flinched at the sound of his own voice. He gulped at the air until his heart steadied. "Sorry. I hate Halloween. It reminds me of too many things."

"Death Eater things?"

Severus nodded slowly. "Attacks, my own Marking...." He shivered. "And your mother's death. And I think it was the day I understood my own mother was not coming back."

He was definitely, he decided, too tired. Either that or the fumes were affecting him.

"Did she die?" Harry managed to sound neither shocked nor entertained. Severus supposed it came of having grown up without parents himself.

"No, she...." Severus took a deep breath, only realizing belatedly that meant he was taking in more of the fumes. "She was in St. Mungo's for a time. A long time. Twice. The second time ... she met someone. When she got out, she left with him. I believe she went to Spain."

"And just _left_ you?"

"I think ... I was getting older. I had come to ... to remind her too much of my father."

"That's not fair!" 

Severus felt himself smile slightly at Harry's indignation. "I don't know how you can still expect anything to be fair." 

He glanced over. Harry was staring at him. "You do it too."

"What?" 

"You're not fair yourself, but you _hate_ it when anyone is unfair to you." His focus softened for a moment, as he concentrated. "But not her."

"I ... I don't see what else she could have done. She needed to escape him, and that, unfortunately, included me."

Harry looked oddly distressed by that. "My mother wouldn't have."

"Your mother was very brave, Harry, and very clever, and very strong-willed. She would never have ended up in St. Mungo's to begin with." Severus decided to redirect the conversation. "The anniversary of her death -- their death -- doesn't bother you?"

Harry shrugged. "I didn't know when they died until long after I'd come to Hogwarts. It's just floating jack-o-lanterns, and apple-bobbing, and the feast, and the fun of it." He laughed shakily. "Though there _was_ the mountain troll." 

Severus scowled. "The one Hermione thought she could fight."

"Oh, she didn't really!"

"No?"

"No, Ron had been rotten to her and she was in the bathroom crying. We realized she'd missed the warning and sneaked away to tell her." 

"She ...." Severus stared. "She would rather have people think she was that _stupid_ than know she was crying?"

"No, she was trying to keep Ron and me out of trouble. She knew we'd get into more trouble than she would. That's when we became friends." Harry grinned. "She does that, sometimes -- the things that we can't get caught doing. Because she's usually so perfect, she can get away with it."

"Dear Merlin." Severus blinked as the full implications of this hit him. "You cause _more_ trouble than we know?" He caught himself at Harry's grin. "Well, I knew that. But things other people admit to? Why would she?"

"Sometimes we might get expelled, and she'll just get reprimanded." 

Severus snorted. "Harry, the headmaster has not expelled a pupil in my entire residency here."

"Oh." Harry's face reddened. "But Hagrid...."

"It is _possible._ But still, I think her a bit of a fool."

"We make it up to her!"

"Oh?" Severus assumed an expression of disbelief. "How, may I ask? You are a _virgin,_ and she doesn't like recreational potions -- I don't see that you could be making it up to her _much."_

Harry's jaw dropped, but he closed it quickly and covered his shock by lifting his head haughtily. "You don't understand Gryffindor values."

"Oh, I see. You make it up to her by praising her nerve."

"And treating her almost like a boy, even if she is afraid of heights." 

"Like a _boy?_ " Severus nearly laughed. 

"But with great tits and pretty hair slides." 

Severus actually did laugh at that. He quite lost control of it, and decided again that it must be the fumes. 

"I'll stop feeling guilty that she dumped you, then."

"Oh you should. We probably _like_ each other too much for that."

"Probably." 

"Besides, it wasn't your fault. It was just me mouthing off. I shouldn't have even mentioned you, however obliquely -- we were outside! But Remus had just told me I had been chosen as a target, and--"

"That long ago!"

"Er ... yes." 

Severus scowled at his potion. "You know, I have been trying to think of some reasonable way to punish you for Saturday--"

"I saved your life!"

"True. However, had you gone directly to the headmaster, that would _also_ have saved my life, possibly without the added risk I now have of losing it in the next few days."

"I'm sorry." Harry sighed. "I think ... the things that make me good at all that stuff -- at rescuing people, at combat, at ... at Quidditch, even -- are the same things that make it hard for me to remember that there might be other ways to do things. When there's trouble, I just act; sometimes it isn't the best thing to do, but often if I thought it through first, I wouldn't be able to do anything at all. I'd have died years ago if I _thought_ about things -- there's no time."

"A fine argument when there _is_ no time," Severus countered. "However, I know exactly how far it is from the Gryffindor common room to the third floor landing. If you had thought _while_ you were running, you would have had enough time to see the possibility. You could have even paused and yelled back to Hermione -- 'Go and tell Professor Dumbledore; I'll stay by the door.'"

An idea that had been tickling the back of Severus's brain the day before resurfaced. He considered it for a moment. "I may, perhaps, have the perfect punishment."

He glanced at Harry. The boy looked properly alarmed. "Oh?"

"You might not consider it so, at first, but with the appropriate variation ...." Severus let the sentence trail off in a soft threat. "I am going to set up ambushes for you. Attacks. Situations. In many of them, your most probable first move would be wrong." 

Harry looked quizzically at him. "Sounds like fun, actually."

"I thought you might think so. So, another rule. You may not immediately counter any hex that hits you. I will decide when you may lift it." 

Harry grimaced. "You're going to turn my hair green."

"Oh, I was thinking pink, actually - a soft, baby pink. You'd find that so much more irritating."

Fear and amusement were warring on Harry's face. "Oh." 

"And some things may be more directly painful. None will harm you, however." Severus turned back to his potion. "And with any luck, you will learn something, so it is constructive, as well as fitting. Did you know your Head of House wants to meet me on Saturday?"

"Why?" 

"To discuss our appropriate spheres of authority. It is so seldom that a professor remains here while raising children that no one is sure of the protocol -- we'll need to negotiate the matter."

Harry shuddered melodramatically. "I am so doomed."

"Most likely, yes." 

"Oh -- that reminds me. Professor McGonagall wants an update on my research, and I've hardly done anything since Ron and Hermione started talking to me again...." 

"If you expect me to rescue you from the consequences of your irresponsible behavior--"

"Of course not! But I wanted to borrow some books. Could I take that history of the Unforgiveables, again? And there was another one -- Last Kiss, I think, about the adoption of the Dementor's Kiss as a replacement for execution."

Severus considered the matter for a moment, then nodded. "Collect them tonight, before you leave -- I'm not certain how often I will be available, this week."

They chatted amiably until midnight, when Severus's work was done. Harry returned to his rooms with him, collected some books, and then left for Gryffindor. Severus was able to fall into bed before one o'clock. Lily haunted his dreams and made him laugh. 

************

Remus finally returned to the staff table for dinner on Tuesday. Harry felt a fear that he had not known he was holding vanish. Relief made him lightheaded and playful throughout the evening. 

On Wednesday, he was not surprised when Remus asked him to stay after class. Hermione looked worried, but Harry shooed her towards the door, and stayed, alone, to speak to Moony. It felt good. When the last student was gone, he warded the door, just in case, and turned at the sound of Remus laughing. 

"Did Severus teach you that?"

"The warding? Yes, I suppose, but--"

 _"I_ taught him. The one against scent, I mean." 

Harry grinned. "Are things better with him?"

Remus rolled his eyes, but he was smiling broadly. 

"I think so. Waking up ... I found myself on the rug by the fire. He had left me a blanket and folded robes and terse note saying I could move to the couch if I needed more sleep before tackling the stairs. For Severus, that's almost affectionate! I decided not to strain things by staying; Dumbledore summoned us just as I was about to leave." Remus took a deep breath. "He glares as balefully as ever, of course, in public, but it was better at the meeting, don't you think?" 

Harry remembered his father's distress at having inadvertently offended Remus, and nodded. "Much."

Remus shivered. "It may be better in public, when he has more freedom. I can hope, at least." His cheeks had turned uncharacteristically pink. "Harry -- what I said the day of the moon -- I'm sorry." 

Harry shrugged. "I understand."

Remus nodded. "I'll do you the courtesy of believing you." He sighed. "Now ... what you did on Saturday ... I want to thank you, but I feel as though I _ought_ to lecture you."

"Sorry. I just ... I was trying to explain to Father that the things that make me good at getting in and out of trouble make me bad at thinking of alternatives. I just ... I _do_ things. Often they're right." 

Remus smiled and shook his head. "You get it from James. I don't know how, but you do." 

"Could you just consider me to have already been adequately scolded, and let it go?"

Remus sighed. "Very well. And thank you. For everything." 

 


	78. The Halloween Ball

 

Ron scowled at his reflection in the mirror. "Look at my shoes! They look as though I pulled them out of a rubbish dump!" 

Harry, whose own clothing had received more than one disapproving comment from Ron that evening, was not feeling charitable. He shrugged. "You're the one who wouldn't go to look at clothes." He pulled on the tight shirt and tugged it down until it was smooth. 

"I ... I wasn't happy with you."

"I'd noticed." Harry plopped onto his bed and leaned back on his elbows. "Hey, remember the Yule Ball? How we went walking in the garden?"

Ron reddened. "Harry!" he hissed. "That sounds--"

"Yeah, doesn't it?" Harry grinned over at Dean, who was trying to hide a smile by arranging the pleats of his stiff, golden-brown robe. "We were such little innocents. Though I did get _some_ idea of what Fleur and Davies were doing."

"Is there a _point_ to this?"

Harry smirked. "Well, I had this idea...."

"Which you'll tell me about, some day."

"Right. Well, since both of us have a rather better idea what walking in the garden is _for,_ now, as well as, I hope, better prospects to do it with...." Harry drew a little object from behind his back and tossed it to Ron. "Catch!" 

Quidditch reflexes were faster than Ron's thoughts, or he might have been too suspicious to comply. As it was, he stood and stared at the thing in his hand. "A ventriloquism drop?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "So if you're in the bushes with Lavender--"

"I don't think she would."

"Well _if,_ and Snape comes out, or anyone else, you can draw him off to some other set of bushes." Harry stood up. His trousers made an interesting creaking sound at the change. "Here. Let's see if we can polish those shoes a bit." He drew his wand from the thigh-sheath and pointed it, trying to recall the spell Draco used to fix his boots. _Polirio,_ he thought, _with a slight gentle stroke._ "Here, lift the robe a few inches -- I've no idea what this will do to fabric."

It took him four castings, but he managed to get Ron's shoes inconspicuous, if not attractive.

"A little extra curricula study?"

"There's no need for you to sound nasty about it -- I just did you a favor." 

Ron shut his mouth tight. After a few small twitches to his jaw, he said sulkily, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. And no, I didn't go looking for boot-polishing charms. I just pick these things up from Draco. I suspect his parents are as insistent on grooming as on good marks."

"When have you seen Malfoy getting dressed?"

Ron sounded horrified. Harry laughed. "Oh no. You don't understand. Draco uses this spell if he scuffs his shoe brushing by the leg of a desk, or kicking a stone, or something. I hear it _several times a week,_ and I have never seen Malfoy getting dressed."

Dean took a few steps towards them. Seamus was standing uneasily by the door. "You two ready?" 

"I suppose," Ron muttered. He was starting to look nervous again. Harry tumbled back down on the bed and rolled onto his side. 

"You lot go on. My partner requested a late entrance."

Ron whirled, his uncertainty suddenly fury. "Are you insane? You're going to the ball with some scheming Slytherin gold-digger who wants to _show_ you _off?"_

Harry caught his own answering quick flash of anger and bent it into something else. "Uh-huh. But I've heard she goes all the way."

With a wordless expression of anger, Ron turned to storm out. Dean gave Harry a reproving look, and Harry sat up quickly. "Ron!"

Ron froze with his hand at the door. "What?"

"Don't spend all evening being angry. I shouldn't have been baiting you, but you've been a complete prick about my clothes, you know. Call it even?" 

Ron frowned. "Later, Harry." 

He didn't slam the door. Harry decided that was good enough.

 

When everyone was gone, Harry stood up and walked over to the mirror. Ron's earlier anger had kept him from surveying his outfit as critically as he would have liked. He studied it carefully, now. He'd filled out slightly since he'd stopped getting visibly taller from week to week, so the trousers were tight enough, now, though still possibly not as tight as the salesgirl would have liked. The lacings left a pattern of diamonds and triangles of pale skin visible along the outside of either leg from hip to knee, where his black boots, underneath, made the lower crossings much more subtle. Harry thought it might look better with boots in a contrasting color, but it was acceptable with black. 

Two thin leather straps held the wand sheath to his right thigh. There was nothing Muggle about that, but it made him look dangerous, and he certainly wasn't about to spend Halloween unarmed. Harry wondered if his knife would work as well, or if it would be too much. He tried it. The fiery sheath contrasted nicely with the black trousers, but his usual worn belt looked silly. Harry transfigured it into a heavy, flat chain and tried that. He decided the additional texture detracted from the striking pattern of the lacings. Reluctantly, he set the knife aside. 

The close-fitting iridescent shirt gave a general impression of silver, with strong notes of blue and green and gold. It clung to him in a manner that even Harry had to consider questionable. He wasn't usually aware of girls' nipples, never mind boys', but he could see his own quite clearly, set off by the color changes that marked every contour of his chest. 

He had pulled his hair back in a single ponytail, for a more Muggle look. It changed his face, but after a few experiments, he decided he didn't dare leave the glasses off, although they were now merely glass. Instead, he changed the shape of them slightly, and darkened the lenses. 

He tried a few poses in front of the mirror and found a way to stand, with one hip out, that was aggressive rather than feminine. After that, he got embarrassed and drew the curtain over the mirror, then practiced with the wand sheath until he could draw his wand quickly and with a minimum of thought. He checked the time. The ball had started fifteen minutes ago. That was probably good enough. 

 

The music had not yet started when Harry walked through the great doors; that suited him perfectly. A few people fell silent when he entered, but most did not notice. Harry pressed in until he was clear of the staff table. A little ripple of disrupted conversations spread in his wake. 

He took a deep breath. Olivia was over by the punch, not far from the door, talking to another Slytherin girl. Blue stars twinkled in her fair hair as her head shifted. She was wearing robes -- no, Harry corrected, a gown -- of shimmering white on white brocade, open in front to show an underskirt that barely hinted of blue. She looked beautiful, but in some distant, aristocratic, manner. She looked untouchably perfect. 

"Oy, Olivia!" Despite his intent, Harry was surprised at how clearly his voice carried across the busy room. People turned and fell silent. It was with an effort of will that Harry kept his head proudly up. He set his hand on one hip and let the other move slightly to the side, leaving his free hand hanging just at his wand. "You with me?"

Olivia giggled. "Ooo, Harry!" She nodded and wriggled her shoulders, left bare by the gown that modestly covered her ankles, and started over to him. "Absolutely!" 

People were talking again, quietly and urgently. Harry glanced back towards the head of the hall and saw his father staring at him, still too shocked to be angry. Harry smirked back, and watched the open-mouthed astonishment tighten to rage. _You thought I was a strutting, arrogant brat? You just watch me be that._ He turned away to greet Olivia with a hand trailed down her hair, her neck, her chest (not quite as shockingly far as it was uncovered) and her side. He took his time reaching her waist, and only then pulled her close. 

"Don't do anything that could get us thrown out," she whispered. 

He pushed his hips up once against her, then stepped a few inches back -- just enough for the space to show between them. 

"I only want to dance, of course," he whispered, and she laughed, a low, heady sound. 

"To the floor, then?"

She hung off his arm as if she were drunk, and he strutted out onto the dance floor. As if on cue, the band struck up their first dance. Harry thought privately that they couldn't have staged it better. Olivia clung to him, and he pulsed up against her, doing his best to time the measure to the music. She whimpered into his ear. 

"Oh. Perfect." 

"Huhn. You look gorgeous. You can't imagine what nerve it takes to touch you."

"Potter!" 

Harry shot a quick glance over his shoulder. His father was striding towards them looking absolutely livid. Olivia's eyes went wide. 

"I didn't think he'd be _that_ angry."

Severus grabbed Harry's arm, then let it go again, as quickly as if it had been scalding. "You ...." He spluttered, then pointed at the door. "Leave this room and put on some decent clothing!" 

"Pardon, sir?"

"You are a student at a respectable wizarding institution, Potter! You will not walk around in that obscene--"

Severus's rant and Olivia's nearly hysterical giggles were interrupted by Professor McGonagall. 

"Professor Snape!" They turned to see her glaring. "Pray control yourself." She graced Harry with a tight -- and rather shaky -- nod. "While his clothing might not be suitable for regular wear, I think it is within acceptable parameters for Halloween fancy dress." She assumed a strained smile. "Besides, I believe it is traditional Muggle garb. Am I right, Mr. Potter?"

"Wha-- Oh, yes." 

"Traditional for what?" Severus was at least managing to sneer, now. "Prostitution?"

"Er ... clubbing." 

"Muggles fight in that?" McGonagall exclaimed.

"No, going to clubs, that means. Dance clubs." 

McGonagall smiled triumphantly at Severus. "There, you see? You really should learn to be more culturally tolerant, Severus." 

Severus's face spasmed, as multiple expressions tried simultaneously to occupy his features. Finally, wordless, he whirled _(At least eighteen inches. Fuck!)_ and strode back to the head table. 

"Do, however," McGonagall chided, "try to dance with a _bit_ more propriety. You're likely to give us old people heart failure." She covered her nose and mouth with one hand. "Excuse me," she gasped, and then McGonagall, also, hurried away, passing the staff dais to walk swiftly out of the door into the Entrance Hall.

Olivia, her face pink, looked at Harry. "McGonagall.... Is she usually that odd?"

Harry leaned close to whisper. "She was trying not to laugh. In front of us, anyway."

Olivia giggled. "I don't know what was wrong with Snape," she confessed, just as quietly. "He's not usually that...." Words failed her.

"It's _me._ My father used to torment him when they were at school, from what I've heard. And he knows how to hold a grudge! McGonagall protects me when she can." 

"But you bait him."

"Why not? I've been as deferential as I could stand to be, and it didn't change a thing." 

"Oh." Olivia looked down. "He's not bad, really. He takes care of us."

"I know." Harry kissed the side of her face. "Dance some more?"

 

When, several songs later, they sat down, Harry finally got a chance to look over the other students. About half were in modern dress robes. Some, like Dean, were in older or foreign robes -- Harry was pleased when he realized he could now tell the difference. Dean seemed to be taking advantage of his skin color to carry off a traditional Moorish look, which implied at least one other Muggle-raised wizard had figured it out, as well. Harry remembered how Dean had surveyed him the other day and frowned thoughtfully. Perhaps such things were more obvious to an artist's eye. 

Hermione looked lovely in deep blue swirling robes that set off the copper highlights in her hair, which was pinned up in a very feminine style. Lydia had made a similar choice -- her hair was swept back and up in a multitude of little plaits -- but her red robes were of cleaner, tailored lines. Harry wondered if they had worn each other's house colors intentionally. 

Pansy Parkinson, nearby, was wearing a formal gown in a beautiful green which suited her badly. She looked bilious as she hung off Nott's arm. Crabbe hovered behind them. Harry looked for Goyle and found him much further along the wall, with a group of younger Slytherins, but Draco was not with him. 

Harry scanned the room for a fox, and saw several kitty-cat girls, and a large seventh-year boy with a tiger's ears, tail, and ruff, combined, oddly, with a sort of armor which Harry vaguely recognized from one of Dudley's video games. He thought it was Japanese. He was distracted by a girl dressed, quite cutely, as a storybook page boy. He took a few moments to appreciate the unusual sight of tight leggings under a short tunic, combined with not-quite-adequately bound breasts, before he realized it was _Zoë._ He sincerely hoped she had just tucked her hair under her hat, rather than cutting it. It wasn't until the appearance of her partner, instantly recognizable as Robin Hood, that Harry realized she'd taken his suggestion and dressed as Maid Marion -- but Maid Marion in her boy's disguise. 

When a crusader-era knight passed them, Harry thought for a fleeting moment that it must be an associated Gryffindor before he recognized Draco. 

He was wearing a white, long-sleeved tunic that came down almost to his knees. The hem and cuffs were bordered by wide bands of green fabric embroidered in more white, and a glittering shirt of fine chainmail covered his torso and shoulders. His leggings were white, as were his boots, and he had cut his pale hair short -- not in any modern fashionable style, but in a plain bowl-cut -- but then, somehow, curled it slightly, so that it caught the candle-light in little turns of white and gold. A broadsword hung at his left, and a short knife at his right, both suspended from a wide, white belt and sheathed in tooled green leather highlighted with silver. Harry was still staring when Draco turned and saw him. 

Draco smiled and came to join them. 

"Hello, Harry. Good evening, Olivia." He bent to kiss Olivia's hand before coming to stand half-behind Harry's seat. "Pity that shirt of yours isn't darker," he confided.

"Why?"

"We make a stunning contrast, don't you think?"

Harry considered Draco's position, standing with one hand on the high back of Harry's chair, bending slightly to speak close to his ear. He glanced at Olivia, who was smiling. 

He stretched his legs out his legs in front of him and crossed his arms over his chest. "You're _posing."_

"And you are trying to, but don't know how." 

Harry shifted to glare at Draco, and Draco nodded. 

"There -- that smoldering look is much better. You do that well." 

Olivia burst out laughing, and Harry, reluctantly, smiled.

"I thought you were going to be a fox."

Draco shrugged and, with much jingling of steel rings, sat. "I attempted a few variations. Sadly, they all involved turning my hair a frightfully Weasley red. I couldn't do it." 

Harry snorted. "I'll tell Ron."

"If you must." 

Harry reminded of Ron, looked about for him. He finally spotted his gangly friend (his hair was, Harry decided, quite fox-colored) sitting at a small table on the other side of the hall. He was wearing the dress robes the twins had bought for him at Harry's request, and sitting with his knees perhaps a bit too far apart for the style, watching Lavender talk to the Patil twins. Anthony Goldstein was with them -- Harry thought he might be Padma's date. 

His attention was diverted from the scene by the arrival of Hermione and Lydia. Lydia stood uncomfortably, but Hermione plopped down on the other side of Olivia and looked around her at Harry. She was flushed from dancing.

"Hello! Introduce me?"

"'Course! Um ... Olivia, this is my friend Hermione Granger. Hermione, this is Olivia Wilkenson."

The two looked uncertainly at each other. After an awkward pause, Hermione held out her hand. "Pleased to meet you, Olivia." 

"Likewise," Olivia answered, a bit stiffly. Hermione looked past her, to Draco. "Hello, Malfoy! You look quite impressive!"

He continued to watch the dancers. "Thank you," he said coldly. His lips barely moved. 

Frowning, Hermione stood and walked over in front of him. "What's the problem, Malfoy?" She considered him for a moment. "Willing to be pleasant to me in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but not out here, where your friends can see you?"

Draco looked up, then rapidly away. He scanned the room thoughtfully. "It is rather.... That class is a self-selected group, especially when taught by a known werewolf. There are no negative repercussions to social contact with you there. Here ..." He looked up at her. "...it does have risks, yes." 

With a graceful shrug, he stood, jingling, and inclined his head briefly. "May I have this dance, Miss Granger?" 

Hermione stared at him for a moment. Distaste overtook pleased surprise across her features and she stepped back. "I think not."

"Pardon?"

"It's hardly appealing, under the circumstances." 

"Oh go on," Harry urged. "It will be good for both of you." 

"Harry! He has made it clear I am for convenience --"

"This is not convenient!" Draco glared at her. "You are right. I am apologizing."

Hermione took a deep breath. "All right. It's appreciated. But I still prefer to dance with willing partners." 

"Hermione, go on!" Harry urged. 

"Why?"

"It ... it commits him to it. This _is_ a public place. And you could use the contact." 

Hermione shook her head, but more in astonishment than negation. Draco looked amused. "All right," she said. "I have an offer." She looked at Draco. "I will dance with you -- if Harry does." 

"What?" Harry sat bolt upright. She turned to face him. 

"Since you're the one who cares." 

Harry thought quickly. She obviously expected that he would refuse and she would be out of it.... 

"All right." 

"What!"

Harry shrugged. "As long as it's not a slow dance." He glanced over at Olivia. "And as long you don't mind."

Olivia shook her head, but Draco stepped back. "Now, _I'm_ not sure I'm interested. I expect my partners to be rather more enthusiastic."

Hermione crossed her arms over her chest. "Take it or leave it, Draco."

He laughed. "I will take it, Miss Granger, but we are not yet on a first name basis." He shot a glance, steel grey and blade quick, at Harry. "You're next." He held out his arm. "Miss Granger?" 

 

*************

 

Severus Snape glowered as he watched Harry with Olivia. He thought it might keep him from looking inappropriately horrified. At least the boy was sitting down ... not that those skin-tight trousers were much more decent from the front than from the back. From where Severus stood, he could see the triangle-bordered diamonds of exposed skin that ran from the top of Harry's hip down to the tops of his boots. He glanced around to determine who else was looking. 

Remus was, a slight smile on his lips, and his head bent towards Minerva. Well, he was hardly likely to be making salacious comments to the deputy headmistress. Severus hoped they were not talking about his reaction, instead -- not here, where others might overhear. He caught the instinctive paranoia and realized that the danger was not as great as it had been. He need have no fear of tomorrow's gossip. The only witnesses that could harm him now were the ones who would join him in the presence of the Dark Lord before dawn. Surely, they would all be called away soon? 

Distracted, he scanned the room for those of his Slytherins he feared he would see later that evening. Goyle was over by the wall, looking lost -- perhaps he would stay. Crabbe was missing already -- surely he had been with Parkinson, earlier? _He went to prepare, most likely. Disappointing, but not unexpected._ He grew anxious when he could not spot Draco, either. He had held some hope the Malfoy boy might resist, if only in pride. Automatically, his attention reverted to Harry, and his heart stopped. Leaning over the back of Harry's chair, a shining knight attendant upon a rather sullen prince, was Draco Malfoy. Severus saw him lean forward and whisper, his mouth inches from Harry's ear. Harry sneered in response, and leaned back to stretch out black-clad legs and cross bare arms across his shimmering shirt. He spoke back over his shoulder at Draco. Whatever Draco said in reply made him whirl in quick offense. For a moment, Severus was taken by the image of them -- dark against light, both passionate and strong -- before stumbling into the realization that Harry was the dark one, here, while Malfoy -- not, however fond of him Severus might be, a pure boy -- appeared a Galahad of pristine light. 

Harry and his challenger settled, friends again, or perhaps comrades in arms, sitting side by side. So engrossed was Severus in the study of his young hawks that he did not notice the approach of the girls until Granger stepped in front of Draco, and he rose to look down at her. Severus watched Harry speak in rising anger. _This,_ Severus thought in relief, _is it. Here is where it all dissolves. He will turn on Draco, in favor of his brave girl...._ He jerked back as Draco thrust his elbow at Granger, and she slipped a hand around it. Together, the two walked out on to the dance floor, and with barely noticeable hesitation, the Malfoy heir set a hand to the Muggle-born girl's waist, as she laid her hand on his shoulder. Bodies close, but politely distinct, they waltzed through a dance of moderate tempo, while less practiced couples clung and swayed. Severus looked back at Harry and saw him watching with a fond, but superior, indulgent smile. 

When the dance ended, Draco walked Granger back to Harry and her token girl, and Harry stood. Severus expected him to reclaim Granger from the indifferent Ravenclaw, but instead, Harry went to Draco. 

No taking of arms, now. There was a single look, of challenge as much as connection, and Harry led the way out onto the crowded floor. 

The music, predictably, had quickened; no more than one song of half-dozen was slow. Harry and Draco danced as if they were fighting, as if they were maneuvering for the Snitch. They focused on each other's faces, both tense with concentration, sparing only occasional flickers of attention for body motions. Duelists -- he was willing to bet at least one of them had started this on a dare. He certainly hoped so. 

The floor started to fill, blocking Severus's view of the incongruous couple. He scanned the crowd for other watchers: Remus, studious, now; the Weasley boy, visibly distressed, and his younger sister, amused; Miss Brown, absolutely wide-eyed. Zabini, shaking his head; the new Slytherin Chaser, whispering to the girl at his side. 

When he next caught a glimpse of Harry and Draco, both had relaxed somewhat. Draco was the better dancer, but Harry possessed enough focused energy to make up for his lack of art. Both were now receiving looks that were more admiring than shocked. 

As the music ended, Draco bowed formally to Harry, and Harry, as loose-limbed as ever, nodded back. For a few paces, the two walked together, leaving a spreading wake of whispers and stares, then Harry paused and said something which made Draco turn his hand in languorous dismissal. 

Severus was not surprised that they did not leave the dance floor together, but he was astounded to see Draco, not Harry, return to Olivia, Granger, and the Ravenclaw girl. Harry was weaving across the crowded floor, and it was a moment before Severus identified his destination -- the punchbowl. 

 

*************

 

Harry, his breath still settling, poured glasses of punch for himself, Olivia, and Draco, who did not appear to have a partner. As he was filling the third, a dark mass moved into place at his shoulder. "Mister Potter," a familiar, icy voice hissed. "I want a word with you."

Harry put down the ladle and the glass and turned to look at his father, as coolly as he could with the music still pounding through him. Clearly, Severus had decided to try again, this time with more self-control. "Yes?"

"I realize the concept may be beyond you, but Miss Wilkenson is a young lady of good breeding. You are demeaning her by appearing in this attire."

Harry blinked, then rolled his eyes. "She knew exactly what I was going to wear. She liked it." He shot Severus a sly look. "Possibly, Draco liked it a _little_ more...."

Severus inhaled sharply, as if he had been burnt, and Harry wished he had held his tongue. 

"Don't worry," he said hastily. "It's ... I turned him down, really. I mean, I know we danced, but--" 

Severus's nostrils flared. Harry knew he was narrowly holding back a screaming fit. Instead, he stepped closer and spoke in a low, threatening whisper. 

"The problem with showing a Malfoy your backside, Potter, is that it puts him at your _back._ And Malfoys so frequently have _knives,_ as well as wands. Of course, Gryffindors _like_ risk, don't they?"

"I said, I--"

"Excuse me." Olivia appeared at their side. She smiled brightly and insincerely at Severus. "Is there some problem, Professor?"

"Problem! You are making a spectacle of yourself with this --" His eyes flickered over Harry with a quickness that was almost like fear -- "this unsuitable boy." He turned to her, changing his focus with relief. "What would your parents say?"

"Well, Mummy would give me advice on keeping him interested, and Dadda would want to know if his rumored violent fits were confined to his enemies--"

Harry felt his face heat. Before could think how to respond, his father's breath caught. Harry saw his body twitch slightly and his fists clench. Harry did not need to wonder why; his scar was suddenly searing. He closed his eyes and worked on blocking awareness, on dropping the connection, on sliding under Voldemort's distracted notice. He heard Severus mutter, and when he opened his eyes, his father was gone. Olivia, however, was staring at him with eyes wide as saucers. 

"What?"

"Why.... You...." Involuntarily, her eyes flickered towards his bare arm, and Harry nearly laughed. A different kind of pain surged through him. He wasn't certain whether he was more distressed that she understood -- he had thought her innocent of that -- or relieved not to need to explain. He wondered if anyone else had noticed that he tensed with pain when the Dark Lord summoned his servants.

"Scar." He brushed his fingers across his forehead, feeling the heat that he knew accompanied an angry flare of red. He was tempted to release his hair to hide it. "It's.... It hurts, when...." He shrugged. "You know." 

She did know. He had to look away from her. The swirl of his father's robes was just vanishing beyond the door to the Entrance Hall. Harry watched to see who else left. A seventh-year Slytherin whose name he couldn't remember had just reached the door, and another seventh-year -- a Ravenclaw, Harry thought -- was moving indirectly, but quickly, towards it.

"You _know_ when-- _"_ Olivia stopped. "Oh, no." She grabbed at his arm suddenly. "Let's dance."

"In a minute."

"Is that door interesting?"

The Ravenclaw was close, now. A second Slytherin was at his side. 

"No -- just who's going through it." _At least three. Already. And he expects more after tonight._ Harry repressed a shudder. 

Olivia tugged. "Please." Her voice caught. "Please, let's."

Harry looked at her anxious face. He wondered who she was afraid he would see. 

"It's all right," he soothed. "I'm not going to go kill them, or anything. I just like to know." 

Olivia looked away. "Sometimes I'd rather not." 

"Okay." Harry reached down and took her hand. He squeezed it reassuringly. "Let's dance, then."

For all her insistence on dancing, she leaned against him as soon as he turned away, and he stroked her back gently. She was afraid for someone, he was certain. He glanced around for Draco then, and saw him near their seats, leaning casually back against a pillar. Though his pose was idle, his attention was fixed, as Harry's had been, on the door. To Harry's relief, he didn't look like he planned to go anywhere. 

"Let me take the drinks back, at least. I promised."

Harry did nothing more but set down the punch before the music changed, and Olivia pulled him onto the dance floor. It was a fast song, and he threw all his anxiety into frantic motion. Olivia did the same. Their eyes met at the end of every turn and jump, desperate to keep their separate motions attuned. Harry tried to give his mind completely to the way her breasts were exposed to him when she squeezed her bare shoulders forward, and the stroke of her full skirts across his legs each time she stepped close and rolled her hips, and keep it from his father, and what he might be doing in his last night of service to his terrible lord. 

 

By the time they collapsed into chairs, two songs later, Harry could almost believe that everything would be all right after all. The feeling wavered when he could not spot Draco anywhere, and vanished like water down an opened drain when he saw Hermione hurrying through the crowd towards them. 

"Excuse me," she said to Olivia, then, "Harry!"

"What is it?"

"I need to talk to you. Right away." She glanced at Olivia, who was frowning. "It's about Shadow -- something awful has happened." 

Olivia relaxed slightly at what was obviously a pet's name. Harry squeezed her hand, then, remembering how Draco had greeted her earlier, stood and kissed it.

"Excuse me a moment. Gryffindor business." 

She giggled in a promising manner. Hermione hustled him out into the corridor, pulled him around the corner, and cast _Secretus_ about them. 

"It's Snape."

"What happened?"

"I was checking on Shadow --"

"During the _ball?"_

"Lydia got into this long conversation with a cabal of Ravenclaws, and I was bored. How much can you say about note-taking technique? Snape had just left, and so did a bunch of other Slytherins--"

"Summoned. And I saw at least one Ravenclaw. What did you _see?"_

"Crabbe pulled Goyle out of the ball after the others left -- did you see? By the time I found Shadow, they were coming into their common room. Crabbe said Goyle _had_ to come, and Goyle said he didn't, and Crabbe said he _did_ , and then he threw a cloak at him and told him not to defend Snape, because Snape was a traitor."

"Shit!"

"Goyle protested, and Crabbe -- apparently he heard the headmaster call "Remus!" from Snape's rooms the morning after the full moon, so _Pansy_ told him that meant Professor Lupin must have been there, and so she had him watch Snape while she waited near Professor Lupin's rooms. She saw Lupin come back later in black robes that were nothing like his own." Hermione ran out of breath. 

"Oh no." Harry's denial was a bare whisper.

"So Parkinson helped him write a letter to send to Voldemort and he hopes that Voldemort will reward him, and says if Goyle came with him...." Hermione's voice trailed off.

"I've got to stop him." Harry squirmed his fingers into his pocket, trying to reach the portkey box he had wedged into the tight fold. "Tell Dumbledore. I'm going to go to his rooms and see if I can stop him." 

"Harry?" Hermione's face was anxious. "Dumbledore!" 

He managed to nod before the portkey yanked at his stomach, and pulled him from the dim torchlight of the corridor to his dark bedroom in the hidden roots of the castle. 

 

"Lux!" Harry ordered, as he dashed from bedroom to kitchen to parlor. Flames sprang to life on candles and lamps, revealing empty rooms. Harry held his hand above the charred wood in the grate -- it was still warm. The black cape was gone from the hooks by the door. Severus had already left. 

Panic rose in his chest and tightened around his throat. Harry tried to breathe -- to _think!_ From here, his father would need to walk to the edge of the Apparation block on the far side of the lake. Harry could still catch him. _If only I had my broom!_

He gripped the back of the couch and closed his eyes. _I need to think for a moment -- to plan. I can do it. Best case, I catch him before he goes to Voldemort. If that fails, then what? I could follow and try to rescue him, or try to get someone else to do it. Dumbledore might help, if I don't need to leave the grounds, but otherwise, he'll probably decide it's hopeless, or that I'm more important._ Harry clenched his jaw. _They think he's expendable._

Harry realized he should check the map. If his father was still close enough, he'd tell Dumbledore, but he needed his cloak to evade Voldemort's crew, and his modification of the Hunter's Stealth potion to evade Nagini. He pulled on the chain around his neck, and slid his fingers down to the rectangular locket. A moment later, he was in the empty room near Gryffindor. 

He raced through the common room, past a few confused younger students, up to his dormitory, and flung his trunk open to dig for the map. The dot marked "Severus Snape" was just starting to skirt the shore. There might be enough time to catch him, if he acted immediately. He threw the items he might need into his schoolbag, and tore back down to the third floor, heading towards Dumbledore's office. 

He never got that far. Hermione, her eyes wild with panic, met him at the landing.

"I can't find him." 

Harry felt his entire body tense at her words. 

"I can't find Dumbledore, or McGonagall, or --"

"Go back. Floo to Grimmauld Place. If no one's there, try the Burrow. I'm going after him."

"Harry!"

"I've got the cloak. I've got a PLAN." Harry heard his voice rise to a shriek and tried to bring it down again. "I need to _try."_

She closed her eyes for a moment, anguish on her face, then nodded. In a sudden motion, she reached out and pulled him tightly to her. "Good luck." Her whisper was not a lover's breath against his ear, but a warrior's blessing, taut as a bowstring. "Come back."

He nodded, not trusting his voice, and turned to run, then, changing his mind, vaulted onto the banister and slid down it once again. Hermione's startled shriek faded as he plunged down. 

At the bottom of the main staircase, he found Olivia waiting in the doorway to the Great Hall. Her anxiety changed to fury as soon as she saw him.

"Where have you been?" She gestured angrily at his bag. "What's that thing for?"

Harry took a deep breath. "Look, something's come up. I need to go. Sorry."

 _"'Something's come up?'"_ she parroted. "Harry, _we_ are at a _ball._ You are my partner. Whatever your ex-girlfriend wants can wait."

"No. Someone I love is in danger; I need to go."

"You do not _need_ to do anything! You're just going to run off, like a stupid--"

"I don't have time for this! I'm going!" 

He had taken two steps away when her hand closed on his wrist. Her voice was low and urgent. "Harry, I swear, if you walk out on me now, I will never speak to you again." 

He closed his eyes for a moment. She was pretty, she was fun, she was smart ... and there wasn't a chance in the world he was staying. He didn't even have the time to explain better. 

He looked back at her. "I'm sorry," he said. "I had fun." She was still staring at him in shock as he leaned forward and kissed her hair. "Good luck with everything." 

She did not call after him. 

 


	79. Mastery

 

The night was cold, but the waning moon still shed enough light for Harry to move quickly. He jogged across the frosty grass until the music behind him grew faint, then paused to check the map. The moonlight was not enough for that; he cast Lumos. Severus was approaching the limits of the parchment, which put him closer than Harry liked to the edge of the Apparation block. He hurried on, his night vision gradually returning. 

An unexpected drop in the land brought him to an abrupt stop, and in the sudden silence, he heard a crackle of leaves behind him. He whirled and looked back. The forest margin was a mass of shadows, providing adequate cover to hide someone trailing him. No further sounds came, increasing his suspicion. _An animal would have continued to move, wouldn't it?_

Harry pressed on through the dappled moonlight. At deliberately irregular intervals, he stopped in his tracks, listening for sounds from behind. He became increasingly certain that he was being followed. By whom, though? One of the Death Eater candidates, or someone who was worried about him, like Ron? 

He didn't have time for this nonsense! He needed to move fast, or he would lose his father forever. Every second wasted made it more likely he would die in a flash of green, like so many others before him. 

The next time his path entered the darkness -- when the person behind him would be caught in a patch of moonlight -- he whirled. _"Stupefy!"_

A shock of pale hair and patch of pale skin were all the identification he needed. Draco had blocked the hex, and was sending a Jelly-Legs Curse back at him. Harry noticed, as he dodged left and forward and came back with an Impediment Hex, that Draco's clothes were all black, now, even the mail shirt. It hadn't jingled, either. He tried a Disarming Charm, and it worked, but Draco had dived forward, even as his wand skittered to the side. He crashed into Harry with his hands out, and bore him down to the ground. 

Harry yelled in pain and anger. The ground had many small rocks -- he wasn't injured, but a number of places hurt. 

"Back off, Malfoy!"

"You arrogant prat! What the fuck are you doing?"

Draco tried to shove Harry harder against the ground, but Harry shifted slightly and lurched to the side. The move dislodged Draco, and for a moment they struggled. Harry was the stronger fighter, but he had scratches down his neck and bruises on his on arms by the time he had Draco pinned. It wasn't until then that Harry was able to bring his wand to bear. He glared down at Draco. 

"You're following me. _Why?"_

Draco's pale skin glimmered in the moonlight. The lines of his face were tight with strain, making him look older than he was, and harsher than Harry had seen him in weeks. He sneered up at Harry. "You shouldn't be out here, Good Boy. Not tonight." 

"Neither should you."

"I'm just following you. I'll go back if you do."

"No."

"Olivia's _hurt,_ you know. She was crying."

"I'm sorry, but I can't _do_ anything about it. I need to go. Now go back and stay out of my way!"

"Why? Why are you out here? Tell me!" 

The edge of panic added bite to Draco's voice. Harry wondered how many of Draco's friends and acquaintances were also out here, a little ahead of them, in the darkness. He felt curiously sympathetic, just as he had with Olivia. He tried to rein in his panic for a moment and make his tone soothing. "I'm not after anybody, Draco. I won't hurt anyone unless I have to."

Draco snarled up at him and bucked furiously, nearly pushing him off. Harry pointed his wand. 

_"Infirmario."_

Draco's struggles grew feeble. He fell back. "Bastard."

"I'm sorry. I need to go." Harry could pin Draco with a single hand, now. He pulled out the map. The glowing dot was gone. 

"Damn it! I can't see him!"

"Who?"

"Se- Snape." 

Draco's eyes narrowed in impotent fury. "You stay away from him!" 

_Protective. Good -- well maybe. Good if it's personal, but what if it's political?_ "I'm not going to hurt him," Harry tried.

"Like I believe that!"

"Draco, listen to me!" Harry shoved Draco down again. "He's in _danger!_ I need to find him!"

Draco rolled his eyes as he sank back. "He is not 'in danger,' you Gryffindor idiot! Stay away from things you don't understand."

Harry growled in exasperation at Draco's superior expression. _He has no idea what I understand._ Frustration heightened his anger. _And I can't tell if he's an ally or an enemy, because everything between us is covered in lies._ "Don't look at me like that. I know he's a Death Eater. I'm not going to come over all horrified and attack him."

A flicker of surprise showed in Draco's eyes, then vanished. "What are you on about, Potter?" He had managed to recover his bored drawl, somehow. Harry found it ridiculous. 

"Snape is a Death Eater." Harry spoke bluntly. _There's no point in deceit, now. I need him to know where I stand, so I can see what he does. Quickly._ "He is going to tonight's initiations, maybe at the place near Hogsmeade. So far, so good, right? But they'll attack him." Harry tried to push back panic at his own reminder. It was not hopeless. He'd stop it. 

A touch of fear broke Draco's disdain. 

"He's _fine._ You're lying." 

"He was seen doing something .... a move against them." Harry watched Draco closely while he said this. Encouragingly, he saw only a heightening of the fear. "Parkinson and Crabbe betrayed him. Voldemort will kill him if I don't get to him first!" The panic would not be pushed down, this time. If his father was off the map, he was nearly to the limits of the Apparition block, and Harry could never catch him. Even if the initiations were at the place his father had told him about -- bought by some relative of Goyle? -- all Harry knew about it was that it was near Hogsmeade. Voldemort was sure to have made it unmappable; probably he could pass within yards of it and not see it.

In a surge of rage, he glared down at Draco. If Draco hadn't delayed him.... Deep down, Harry felt despair twist at his gut. He wouldn't have made it anyway. He'd been too far behind at the start. 

Draco began to quail under his gaze, and Harry lifted his lip in contempt. _Coward. I bet he knows where they are. He could have been going himself, and just stumbled into me...._ The thought was bizarrely comforting. Harry knew how to deal with enemies. In a quick move, he brought his wand to bear again, and thrust it threatening against Draco's throat. The faint whine he received both encouraged and repulsed him. "Tell me how to get there -- wherever they are." 

Draco squirmed back on the rough ground, trying to get clear of the point of the wand. "Are you mad?"

"I need to get him out." _And I will. I refuse to lose him now._

Draco laughed, a high, edgy sound. "Sorry, Harry. I don't trust you that much." 

"And _I_ don't trust _you_ at all, but you're going to help me, just the same." 

Draco closed his eyes. When he opened them again, his fear had been supplanted by intent entreaty. Harry couldn't tell if it was regained control or an exchange of masks. 

"Harry." Harry felt his given name as a bond between them, and steadfastly resisted it. He made his glare a little harder. 

"Professor Snape matters to me. If you are really going to help him, yes, I will help you. Take this spell off me and let me up, and I'll lead you to him."

Harry shook his head. "Oh no. Just tell me where it is. Then I'll ..." He thought quickly. He needed Draco unconscious, or too far away to interfere. "... give you a portkey back to Hogwarts." The room near Gryffindor, he thought, would do nicely. 

"And you'll go _alone?"_

"I need to go alone, Draco! I'm not going to fight; I'm going to sneak. A second person makes that harder, even a Slytherin snake like you. And I don't trust you to choose your house master over your father's lord, especially when you've got _me_ there, as the perfect offering and prize. Finally, even if our goals, by some miracle, _are_ the same under all our made-up crap, I can't trust you to _do as I say!"_

Malfoy seemed to take confidence from Harry's loss of control. "I'm coming with you."

"I'll blast you with a Petrifaction Hex and leave you here."

"You wouldn't leave me defenseless all the way out here. I could be killed." Draco relaxed back. "Besides, you've lost the trail. You have no idea where to go next. You _need_ me."

"But I can't TRUST you!" Harry nearly shrieked with frustration. 

"I swear, Harry -- you can trust me. I am ... fond of Snape." The flicker of his eyes showed how unaccustomed Draco was to saying such things -- or, perhaps, that he lied. He focused back on Harry. "Why would I abandon someone who actually seems to give a damn about me -- _me,_ not my name -- for the bastard who promised my father everything, then left him to rot in Azkaban?"

Harry desperately wanted to believe this was real. He shook his head. _"Even if._ I still can't trust you to do what I say. You'll mess it up." 

Draco glowered. "For tonight," he said, "and tonight _only,_ I will obey you. I swear it." 

"And I should take your _word?_ Really, Draco -- I'm not _that_ mad."

"What else can you do? Cast the Imperius Curse on me?"

"Will you accept a Fealty spell?"

"A _what?!_ "

"It's a--" 

"I know what it is! I'm not going to give myself to you!"

"With a limit, like we learned in Defense. I can make it end at dawn. Tonight only,just like you said."

Draco's horrified indignation diminished to unease. "Still, I ..."

Harry pointed his wand at Draco's face. "I don't have _time_ for this. A Tracing Spell would take time, but I can do it." _With blood. I am of his blood. His ... and Voldemort's._ "Take my portkey back to Hogwarts, or take the Fealty spell, or I leave you here, petrified. Your choice." 

Draco clenched his fists. "You utter --"

"Choose!"

"Fealty."

Harry tried not to think about what would happen if he muffed the spell. _I reread that section two days ago, and I'd remembered all of it from August. I can do it._ "Good choice," he said coldly. He edged back off Draco, then pushed himself to his feet. The scratches Draco had left down his neck throbbed. "Kneel."

***********

As soon as he was clear of Hogwarts, Severus apparated. The hunting lodge was a huge, single-room hall with a large, round hearth in the center. It appeared in front of him, taking the place of the spreading oak he had been looking at a moment before. He stepped out of his disorientation and focused on a window, giving his eyes a moment to adjust to the light before he opened the door. 

The room was crowded. Severus was accustomed to being the last to arrive, but the last of a dozen or so. Tonight, all of the Dark Lord's bonded men were here, and more. Within the surprisingly sizeable ring of cloaked and masked forms -- their number had grown considerably in the last year -- the bare-faced initiates crowded together, trying to look unconcerned. The intelligent ones failed. Severus knew some would be given the Dark Mark, some rejected, and not a few killed. He looked them over, trying to make an inventory under the guise of a contemptuous sweep. Marcus Flint, who had his contaminated blood and the failure of the werewolf mission working against him -- dead. Vincent Crabbe -- marked. Severus tried not to feel guilt. There was only so much doubt one could introduce into so simple a mind. He stopped in shock at the next familiar face -- Pansy Parkinson. She had hardened since her uncle's death, in June, but he had thought it more likely to narrow her range of potential husbands than to lead her here. Voldemort was disinclined to admit women to his personal service; Severus wondered how Parkinson had made it this far. His eyes flicked rapidly through the herd, scanning for white-blond hair. No. No Draco. No Gregory, either. He had kept some of them free, at least.

"Have you looked your fill, my sweet betrayer?"

Severus's heart froze at the words. He ignored them, as if assuming such a epithet could not possibly be directed towards him. 

"Severus. Look at me!"

Severus turned, as if startled. He bowed low, then dropped to his knees to crawl forward. "Master...."

Voldemort twitched the hem of his robe away, and Severus froze, straining his neck to see high enough without rising. He could hear the very faint rustles of slight movements and cautious whispers around him. 

"Do not attempt to deceive me. I know of your treachery. How painful to know you value me, your chosen master, so little." Voldemort's eyes glittered like embers in his bloodless face. Nagini, behind him, raised her head to the height of his chest and hissed, her tail thrashing back and forth ominously. "You opposed my agents."

"Never, Master." 

"You were seen, Severus, my own."

Severus struggled to keep his mind clear. The use of his given name meant nothing in the dance for Voldemort's favor. Nagini's behavior, on the other hand, indicated anger. He suspected his peril was genuine.

"With the werewolf -- Dumbledore's _pet_ werewolf. I do not forget that you were ... pleased ... with him, as a youth."

"Do you forget he did not tell me what he was? That he and his friends conspired to kill me?" It was a bit difficult to sound contemptuous while on his hands and knees, face turned to the wide-boarded floor, but Severus did his best. "I despise the werewolf, my lord. I swear it."

"How strange that he should then be in your private rooms -- and in your clothing. The morning after his change, yet. Could it be _you_ that assisted him?"

Severus thought quickly, summoning every scrap of hatred he had ever felt for Remus - _no Lupin, werewolf Lupin_ \-- to obscure his machinations. He could not risk denying facts for which the Dark Lord might have evidence. "Not willingly, my lord." Severus spoke through clenched teeth. "He was brought to me for healing potions."

"Not taken to the Hospital?"

"Why would they allow a monster in the HOSPITAL?" Severus let some of his fear come out in bellowing rage. "No, it's much better to bring him to MY chambers -- MINE, though they know I LOATHE HIM!"

From knees and elbows, he dared to glance up, and Voldemort raised his hands and clapped slowly. "A marvelous performance, my sweet servant. How kind of you to amuse me to the end. But to no avail, I fear -- not even your clear mind can convince me of your innocence, this time."

It flitted through Severus's mind that the word "innocence" had never been in any way appropriate to his association with Voldemort. He banished this frivolity instantly. Despite his lord's pronouncement, he must not let the shield on his mind weaken, lest he betray the most personal secrets hidden within. This was not the first time he had been told to expect the end. 

He was not surprised when the Cruciatus Curse hit him -- this was the Dark Lord's usual pattern -- accuse, claim knowledge, attack. Hot pain sliced through him like a hundred blades drawn bright from the forge, surged through his body like sulfur pushed into his veins. Severus let his body's inevitable physical response -- the shrieking, the thrashing -- happen as it would, as it must. Every scrap of will retreated to protect the core of his mind. Conscious thought faded together with all awareness of the people around him -- of anything other than white-hot agony. 

After an age of pain, he slowly became aware of his racking breaths, of the hard floor beneath his aching body, of the tremors that made it a struggle to rise to even his knees. He did it anyway, and crawled forward to reach for the hem of Voldemort's robe. When the Dark Lord again stepped back, Severus felt the first clawing of panic at his gut. _I can't die now! It is not fair! I was so close!_ He could see tomorrow as a smooth cliff rising before a drowning man -- solid ground in reach, but utterly unattainable. _And Harry will be alone again_. _He was right; I didn't need to come here; I could have ignored the call, Dumbledore could have obtained the information elsewhere...._

_No. I must not indulge in this. Deceive, and if I cannot deceive, delay._

"Who has told you these tales, my lord?"

Voldemort's thin mouth spread in a lipless smile, and his slit nostrils flared. "Why your own students ... professor." 

_Draco!_ Severus hoped the pain of the thought had not made it through to Voldemort, or he had as good as confessed. The Dark Lord stepped further back. 

"Pansy. Come here, my sweet viper. Tell this walking corpse what you saw."

A dainty pair of polished grey shoes approached and stopped in front of Severus. He dared to look up slightly, and was not pushed down, by hand or snake or curse. For a moment, he met the girl's eyes, still deepened with kohl and set at the corner with sparkles, and saw her scornful distaste. 

_Yes. I am on my knees, crouched before him like a whipped dog. Look well. This is what you aspire to._

She raised her head, cutting off the contact.

"It was Crabbe first, My Lord," she said, as clearly and precisely as if giving an answer in class. "He was passing near Professor Sn--"

"Severus has no title, here."

Pansy hesitated. "S- Severus's rooms. He heard the headmaster call 'Remus!' and when he looked around the corner, the door was just closing. Obviously, Dumbledore and ... and the werewolf ... were both in P-- in his rooms.

"Later, Pro-- the werewolf was wearing black robes -- Severus's robes. _He_ doesn't have anything like that."

"That interfering fool, Dumbledore, insisted I --" Severus stopped abruptly, the breath knocked from him by the crack of a thick tail against his ribs. 

"Did he? And did he 'insist' you whisper the Potter boy's name in the silent watches of the night as you put away your cauldrons? 'Harrrrry.'" Voldemort's cold voice gave the name an obscene parody of tenderness. His eyes burned. "Do you desire his young flesh more than my victory, my love? If you had him captive, would you bring him to me as you have sworn, or hide him away in your bed?"

Severus allowed a burst of genuine indignation through. "My lord --"

"Do not tell me you dreamed of poisoning him, Severus! Even _you_ do not sigh the names of your victims like a swooning lover! I have lost patience with your lies and excuses." 

"Master, you have no one of my cleverness --"

"Which does me no good if all your _clever_ inventions are immediately foiled! And why is that? Clearly, because you supply my enemies as well! Did you think you could betray me forever, little worm?"

"Master, I am your most humble --"

"Traitor." Voldemort completed coldly. Severus had pressed his face too close to the ground to see, now, but he could hear Nagini hissing angrily, as she did only when her master was in a true rage. "Now, my traitor, there will be no more pleas. You die here, tonight." Severus felt Voldemort step back, and raised his head in time to see him motion to the other Death Eaters to encircle him. "One at a time, until he dies. If it takes all night, so much the better."

Severus had always known what he would do when this moment came. He had a secret capsule of poison, swallowed years before and bonded to his body. Two whispered words and the capsule would rupture; he would die quickly, painlessly. 

He hesitated between one world and the next. Death by the Cruciatus curse could indeed take all night, and he had techniques for forestalling madness -- things Frank and Alice Longbottom had never dreamed of. In the course of a night, many things could happen. Voldemort's tendency to favor showmanship over efficiency had sabotaged his plans before. His lips stopped around the edges of the first word. He swallowed back his breath and put the thought from his mind. He would not leave Harry -- not voluntarily. 

An anonymous masked form stepped forward. Severus wondered who it was, and if they had worked well together. The pain began anew. 

***********

The golden glow of the spell sank into Draco's blond locks, and flowed up Harry's arm until it was absorbed into his chest. He felt a flood of exultation that was at once tender and triumphant as he looked down at the pale hair beneath his hand. A powerful young man knelt before him, his head bowed. _Mine_ , he thought fiercely. The unspoken word coursed with power. 

Slowly, Draco looked up. His eyes were wide and shining. 

"It is done," Harry whispered. "You are mine."

Draco nodded. He trembled under Harry's light touch. 

"What shall I call you, my master?" he asked.

A low laugh escaped Harry's throat. He felt quite intoxicated by Draco's adoration. 

"That is delicious, my pureblood servant, to hear you call me 'master.'" 

The words came back to him like an echo, and Harry shivered. Fear met the triumph in him, now. He could feel his heart racing. He spent a few breaths trying to regain control and to remember what he had read about the mechanics of this spell. _The early intensity of the bond may be intensified and prolonged by physical contact._ Harry stepped away. Once he was not touching Draco, the uneven bond was not so fearfully enticing. 

"I think you had best call me Harry," he managed.

Draco looked up, uncertain. "Harry?"

"Yes. Now stand," Harry said firmly. "We have work to do."

"Yes, Harry." Draco stood.

"Severus -- Snape -- has betrayed the Dark Lord in certain matters. His master has evidence of this, and plans to kill him.

"We will go to the house and see what is happening. If he is just being questioned, or hurt in warning, we will let it go. If he is being threatened or attacked, I will get him out. _Just me._ I will cause a distraction and use the invisibility cloak to get to him with a portkey. In that case, you will leave and head back to Hogwarts, quickly and without speaking to anybody. Protect yourself. When you get there, tell Dumbledore where you left me, what I was doing, and that I intended to portkey back to Severus's rooms. Do you understand all of that?"

"Of course, Harry." What might have been a mild reproof instead conveyed Draco's dismay that Harry might think him less than clever. "I will leave when you command it." 

"Good. If you get caught by the Death Eaters, will you be able to get them to let you go?"

"May I speak, in that case?"

"Yes. You may speak if your life would otherwise be in danger."

"I will tell them I followed you, out of curiosity, because your partner, a friend of mine, was hurt to be left. I am Lucius Malfoy's son and heir. They are likely to believe me." A mischievous smile lit his face. "It's even true." 

"Good. Now lead me to the house." 

"It's an old hunting lodge. I don't actually know where it is --" 

"Draco!" 

"-- but I've got this." Draco reached into his tunic and pulled out a piece of thick parchment. He handed it eagerly to Harry. "See?"

" _Lumos_." Harry examined the parchment. The first side he saw said:

The Snape Finder

-by-

The Marauders

Underneath an M was positioned above a W, as if they reflected each other. P's to either side -- one facing up, one facing down -- suggested a clockwise rotation. 

 

Harry flipped over the paper. In the center of the paper was the number 242 and an arrow pointing north-west. Harry shifted the paper, and was not surprised when the arrow continued to point in the same direction. He did not doubt the number indicated a distance to his father.

"Two hundred forty-two what?"

"Rods. The class of '84 had a contest to figure that out."

Harry flushed with anger. "Honestly!" He flipped the paper back over. "Moony, you coward! You put your name on this?"

"Moony, Harry?" Draco looked anxious.

"Professor Lupin. You know -- moon, werewolf?" Harry flipped the paper back to the side with the arrow. "Okay. Let's go." 

 

After a glance at the parchment, Draco led Harry northward along the edge of the Forbidden Forest. 

"We're veering away."

"But I can get us over the wall here. It's quicker than going to the gate." 

"All right, then."

They came to a narrow track, then to the wall. Draco tapped it with his wand. 

" _Stigel_." 

Flat rocks slid out from the wall, providing a rough stair along its side. Draco went over first and Harry followed. From there, the Marauders' Snape Finder led them up a high, steep hill. The hill seemed deserted, but Harry kept them to the available cover. To his dismay, this caused them to drift eastward. When the counter had dropped to thirty-eight, Harry asked:

"How long is a rod? 

"A bit over sixteen feet." 

"All right. We're going to share my invisibility cloak. Hold on a moment." Harry reached into his bag, and took out his personal stealth potion. "We need this. You spray it on me first, then I'll spray what's left on you." He felt a rush of tenderness as Draco looked submissively down, and he had reached out a hand to lift his chin before remembering not to touch unnecessarily. "Don't worry -- there'll be enough for what you need to do. I won't let you get hurt."

Draco perked up. He took the atomizer that Harry handed him and sprayed Harry quite thoroughly. Harry sprayed the soles of his boots -- the only spot that Draco had missed -- before starting on Draco. 

"Thank you," Draco said politely, when Harry had run out of the potion. "Do I need to know what this is?"

"My own invention. It will stop Nagini from tracking you."

"Oh! Thank you, Mast--" Draco stopped himself. He gave Harry an odd, shy smile. "Harry." 

 


	80. Serpent's Tongue

 

Harry and Draco proceeded under the invisibility cloak, in careful silence. The counter on the Snape Finder dropped steadily, into the twenties, then the teens, then below, with an added decimal place. Harry was wondering if it actually worked by the time they reached "2.3". Suddenly, the scrubby grass in front of them wavered and was replaced by the hunting lodge, a tall granite building, mere yards ahead of them. Whatever glamour had obscured the sight had blocked sounds as well -- the air was full of harsh screaming, starting in mid-breath as if someone had just turned on a television at full volume. Harry stopped short and grabbed on to Draco's arm as if it was an anchor.The scream died away with a choked sob. __

_I will not charge in there. I've got to do this right. I need it to work._

Harry looked back and saw the hill they had climbed, silver and grey in the moonlight. He scanned the line of the lodge. The grim weight of the building was alleviated by the many tall windows, set low into the wall, which looked as though they had been added in the last few centuries. At the corner, a heavy-set man in a black cloak stood like a dense shadow. Harry felt Draco stiffen in alarm. "Shh," he soothed softly. "He can't see us." His companion nodded soundlessly.

He began to pull Draco towards the western side of the building, which would still be in deep shadow. He hoped there was no sentry there. A movement at the door made him freeze like a mouse below a hunting owl, but the newcomer took only a step outside, to beckon to the man already there. As the lookout turned to go inside, Harry saw a bone-white mask in the place of his face. A Death Eater. 

They had just made it to the corner when a new scream split the air. Draco tried to lunge forward and Harry had to hold him back. It kept him from giving in to the same impulse. It must be fear, or simple imagination, that told him that was his father's voice. Surely he couldn't tell one scream from another?

With deliberate caution, he brought them into the black shadow of the lodge, and led Draco to one of those great low windows, reaching it just as the screams faded again into the excited jabbering of the crowd inside. 

The single, huge, firelit hall rose up into blackness and smoke. Glassy-eyed heads of stags, and above the great fireplace, one of a Common Welsh Green dragon, stared down from red-washed walls onto a sea of black cloaks. Harry thought the red walls should look comforting and homey, but instead they glistened like fresh blood behind the flickering torches. 

Harry could see a few bare-faced people standing to the side, but the ones who stood before him, competing for places in a large circle, wore masks of white. Harry scanned along the arc for a place where he could see through. A sudden shift as one figure stepped back, and another, flourishing his wand, forward, gave him a brief glimpse of something in the center of the gathering -- something that moved in sudden twitches -- but his view was cut off by overlapping capes as the Death Eaters pressed close, like an eager pack of hounds, jostling each other and barking with laughter.

He tugged Draco on to a second window, and then a third. At the fourth and last, they could see the figure writhing on the floor. The cloak was askew and twisted around desperately thrashing limbs, and the mask had slipped off an aquiline nose and caught in the screaming mouth. Stained fingers tore at the worn floorboards.

Harry fought the impulse to charge forward, but Draco, beside him, had started to make a faint keening sound, deep in his throat. Harry stepped back against the wall and pulled Draco to face him.

"Quiet."

"Sorry." Draco looked terrified, but he was almost struggling, first pulling against Harry's grip, then submitting, wide-eyed, to the restraint, then pulling again at the next shift in the screams. "Sorry, please! I have to! To get him out, to-- Please let me get him out!" He seemed to have lost all sense of subtlety under the warring pulls to help Harry and to rescue his mentor. 

Harry cursed himself for not trusting Draco in the first place. He'd had some vague idea that Draco could help with a distraction, then portkey safely to the room near Gryffindor, but it was clear now that it just wouldn't work. Draco was too caught up in serving him to know when to cut his losses and run. 

_This would actually be easier without the fealty spell,_ Harry realized. _He could do all sorts of things as Draco Malfoy -- claimed to be volunteering, or to be following a friend, maybe even get close enough to make the rescue, in the guise of being eager to prove his loyalty._

_Now he's just a random body that I can trust to do anything except stay out of trouble if he thinks I'm in danger. Stupid! And I can't let him get hurt. I'd never forgive myself if he died because I couldn't bring myself to trust him. Losing Sirius was horrible enough, and that wasn't my fault alone. This would be entirely mine._

Draco, Harry decided, had to be kept out of the action. "It's my game in there," he whispered, trying to sound confident. "I need you to do something for me."

"Cause a distraction?" 

Draco sounded eager, but Harry shook his head. "No. Go back to Hogwarts...." He hesitated. He still had the portkey to the locked room -- that would be safest. "I'm going to give you a portkey." He pressed the Snape Finder into Draco's hands, before reaching for the chain around his neck. "The inside cover of this locket will take you to a room in Hogwarts, near Gryffindor tower. Go and find Dumbledore, or McGonagall, or Lupin; or, if you can't, Hermione; or if you can't find her either, Ron or Ginny Weasley. Make sure you're not overheard, then tell them where you left me, and that I'm bringing Seve- Professor Snape back, to his room or to the hospital. It's important -- if I can't save him, or if he's taken away again, they'll need the Snape Finder to follow us. Do you understand?" 

Draco nodded. "Dumbledore, McGonagall, your lot, or the Weasley girl, in private. And if you're not back, I'll lead them back to help you ... and him, right?" He looked anxious.

"Right." The screams had subsided while Harry was speaking, but now started up again. The terrible sound, hoarser than before, pushed aside his concern for Draco. He pulled his temporary servant back to the window. His father was thrashing again. 

"I'm going to take the cloak. You portkey out now, before someone sees you. You can't help me here." 

"But--"

"I order you to live, understood? That's an absolute order. This isn't the first time I've been at one of these gatherings." Harry didn't mention that the other one had been small and taken the Death Eaters by surprise. After all, he had been small and taken by surprise himself. 

Grey eyes turned to the shadowed ground. "Yes, Harry."

"Good." Harry stepped away from Draco, pulling the invisibility cloak up and off the black-clad form. He didn't dare look back and tempt them both with the false safety of assistance. He slipped further around the building, to an open window. His trousers creaked as he moved, reminding him he would need to be careful about that, too. 

He looked in the open window. Well. The gathered crowd was making enough noise to cover the soft noises of the leather, and Nagini couldn't smell him if he jumped on her tongue, and no one else would over the tang of smoke and damp stone. He was also invisible. Looking into the room, he wished he could be intangible, as well. Any hope he had of just walking in under the cloak, reaching his father, and spiriting them both away to his own room faded away before his hands reached the sill. Getting to the heart of this crowd without touching anyone would be harder than getting to the drinks table at the Ball had been. 

He shuddered as he watched the latest casting of the Cruciatus Curse work itself out. The pauses between spasms grew longer, until his father finally lay limp. His audience waited, breathless, for that stillness, like concert-goers hanging on a last fading note, before a new tormenter stepped forward. 

Harry blinked a persistent film from his eyes. He would not look away. Even if there was nothing he could do but stand and watch his father die, he would do that. Perhaps Draco would make it down all the stairs and.... No. There wouldn't be time.

Damn it, a mere hour ago this had been funny! He'd been tormenting his father with leather trousers and going along with Draco's meaningless (well, probably) flirtation, and he had the twins' ventriloquism drops to trick him in the garden--

_Ventriloquism drops._ Harry froze. _I can provide my own diversion, can't I? Let's see if I can clear a little path._

He raised himself up to the windowsill. He pulled off his boots, rubbed his stocking feet over them to pick up the stealth potion, and lowered them silently to the ground. Next he took a sweet from his pocket, unwrapped it, and set it in his mouth, and then carefully surveyed the crowded hall. 

He doubted he had even needed the cloak, so far. Everyone in the room was utterly engrossed -- whether fascinated or alarmed -- by his father's torture. Even Nagini had raised her head to see his writhing form, and her long tongue flickered out seeking the taste of his fear. Harry could feel her predatory satisfaction. He took another look at the room and chose a badly lit corner with fewer people, about a third of the way around the room from where he sat. 

He stopped on the verge of speaking, momentarily distracted. In the corner was a woman in a long, black gown -- of practical cut, but a gown nonetheless. For a dizzying second, he thought that it was Bellatrix Lestrange, then a greater shock overtook him. It was Parkinson -- gossipy, petty Pansy Parkinson. He could not stop himself from assessing the rest of the bare-faced group. He saw another face he knew, and then another, and then one bulky figure, face turned away from him, that he was sure was Crabbe. 

Another scream jerked his attention back to his father. He struggled to concentrate on the place he had chosen -- _the place, not the people there_ \-- felt Nagini's presence, and prepared himself to speak the tongue of snakes. 

_"Serpent!"_

He hissed out the word as loudly as Parseltongue allowed, while using the ventriloquism drop to cast his voice to the spot he had chosen. The result was instantaneous. Heads throughout the room turned -- some towards the source of the sound, but more, in confusion, to Voldemort. The serpent and her master both fixed their eyes on the spot Harry had chosen. Severus lay forgotten beneath them. People muttered questions to each other, providing a constant cover of noise, and Harry slipped softly to the floor. He sent his voice again. 

_"Your master and I fight. Stand aside and you will not be harmed."_

Voldemort began to laugh, a high, chilling sound. "So kind of you to attend my little gathering, Potter. Did you miss your teacher? Did you wish to bring another body home for burial?" 

On hearing Harry's name, the Death Eater's surged toward Harry's chosen corner, but Voldemort waved them back. "Stay clear! Nagini and I will take the rash little fool." A harsh smile was widening Voldemort's strange lipless mouth as he turned back to the source of Harry's voice. His own stretched out into a thin hiss. _"Won't we, pet?"_

_"Yesss, my masster."_

Harry took a step forward, then another. _"I have no quarrel with you, serpent."_

_"But you offer me nothing."_ Nagini sounded as cruel as her master as she slithered towards his voice. _"You are weak, little prey. I can feel your human mercy like a hot noose on your blood."_

She raised her blunt head and flicked her tongue out, but stopped, uncertain, when no scent of her prey came to her. 

_"But you do not taste my blood, do you?"_ Harry began to creep cautiously through gaps in the crowd, edging to a spot where the circle had broken, as Death Eaters shifted to try to glimpse Voldemort's target. The slight creaking of his trousers seemed agonizingly loud to his ears, but no one else noticed, preoccupied as they were with not noticing their lord's frustration as his hisses grew louder and more angry.

_"Nagini! Where is he? Find him!"_

Harry smiled grimly. _Perfect! Let him lose control. The angrier he gets, the longer it will take them to work out that I'm not where they think I am._ He shifted his projected voice into the midst of a group of onlookers closer to the fire. _"I am shielded from the sight of man and the scent of serpents."_

The Death Eaters looked askance at each other, unable to see past the blank masks of their neighbors to identify the intruder apparently in their midst. Harry did not have time to be amused. He knew he needed to keep talking, anything to keep their attention from his painfully slow advance towards Severus's limp body. He had never used Parseltongue like this before, to command and taunt, and he allowed his mind to flood with the cruel elegance of snakes. _"And my mercy is a myth, great serpent, a ploy. Assist him and I will rend your beautiful skin from your flesh, and your flesh from your bones, and use your spine as a chain to bind my enemies."_ _There! That should confuse them._ He held back a nervous laugh. A pity, he thought, that none of the Death Eaters could understand him.

His father lay motionless on the dark floor. Blood trickled from his mouth where he had bitten deep into his lip in his agony. He was only steps away, but still surrounded by a ring of Death Eaters, no longer shoulder to shoulder, but clustered in confused and awkward knots.

Harry eyed a gap between a group of Death Eaters glancing discreetly at the hunt, and two others who had pulled away to whisper. It was expanding as they shifted, but if just one of them felt him pass he would be detected and undone. Severus twitched and shuddered, and Harry had to clench his teeth together to suppress the impulse to call out to him. 

Nagini had stopped her forward motion, halfway between Harry's real location and his apparent one, and her head wove back and forth, seeking him. Harry could feel rage pouring from her. Voldemort, as Harry had hoped he would, stopped to laugh again. Triumph rung in his voice. _"What a charming little speech! Your Muggle upbringing has corrupted your sight, fool, if you do not understand that the serpent is mine! No threat, no temptation can draw her from me to another."_

Harry eased forward through the gap, then flinched back as a waving hand almost grazed his face. When the gesticulating Death Eater turned to whisper to his companion, Harry quickly darted past him and into the center of the circle. He just needed the portkey, now. Nagini, however, was starting to zigzag back and forth across the space Harry's voice had come from, and he was certain she would soon detect his deception and turn back. He paused in squirming his fingers into the too-tight pocket and sent his voice again, further to the side, behind a new cluster of onlookers. 

_"Too close, worm. I am not that eager to be caught."_

The great snake shot forward, and people scattered before her. 

***********

The encompassing agony of the Cruciatus Curse ebbed, leaving him gasping on a rocky shore of pain. Muscles twitched and cramped from the after-effects, and it was some time -- he did not know how long -- before Severus could understand anything past the bundle of raw nerves that now defined his body. 

The first thing he recognized was Parseltongue. He puzzled over the shifting sounds of it for a time. Had his mind been so damaged that he was hearing echoes? Suddenly, he recognized the low and mocking voice provoking the more familiar hisses of the Dark Lord, and his laboring heart threatened to stop. Harry! His son was here, and from the frantic scrape of scales on the rough floor, driving Nagini into a frenzy. 

"No!" he tried to cry, "Run!" but his words came out in faint croaks, barely audible to his own ears and certainly to no one else's. His throat was raw from screaming, and he could feel it starting to swell shut. 

_He will die. The fool! I have failed him._ Selfishly, Severus hoped he died first. He did not want to witness his son's death, and he would certainly have nothing to return to, after it. He struggled to move, hoping to raise himself to his feet and recapture his former comrades' attention. Perhaps he could give Harry the chance to damage Voldemort -- or even escape -- before the Death Eaters retaliated. 

It was no use. His tortured body would not support him, even to his knees. 

_So close! We were so close. It's not fair!_

Something from outside closed on his shoulder -- a hand. He tried to pull free, but could do no more than twitch.

"Easy, now," said Harry's voice -- soft in his ear, and loud on the other side of the room.

"He is not here! He is casting his voice!" Voldemort exclaimed. "Everywhere! Look everywhere!"

"Shit!" Harry grabbed his hand and twisted their fingers together in a fierce, crushing grip. 

"There!" shouted a nearby voice. "By the prisoner!"

"You idiot Gryf--" The familiar sensation of a portkey yanked at Severus's third chakra, just as a new wave of the Cruciatus Curse pummeled him. The hand entwined with his clenched as he convulsed beneath the pain. He surrendered gratefully to the void. 

***********

Harry ran through the doors of the hospital wing, his father floating unconscious behind him. 

"Mr. Potter! Whatev-- Oh dear. Do you know what happened?"

As she spoke, Madam Pomfrey helped him guide Severus to a bed. 

"The Cruciatus Curse, at least. Several times. There may have been some physical blows, as well -- I was only there at the end."

The mediwitch gave him a sharp look. "I'll deal with you and where you've been later, Mr. Potter. Honestly! You're more trouble than the all the seventh years put together."

She bent over Severus, pointed her wand at his head, and cast a muttered spell. Severus thrashed once, then started to shiver. He rolled onto his side and curled up into a tight knot of limbs, reminding Harry of the spider in Moody's -- Crouch's -- class. 

"Will he be all right? He was speaking just before we portkeyed--"

The door flew open. Dumbledore, moving with an energy he seldom betrayed, strode in, Draco Malfoy trotting at his heels. 

"Harry Potter." The name came out in low, but ominous cracks like distant thunder. Draco darted past the old wizard and threw himself at Harry's feet. 

"I'm sorry, Harry! I did what you said, but he's angry. He sent Granger for--"

"Quiet, all of you!" Pomfrey snapped. "I have a very sick patient here--"

" _What_ is the removal trigger?"

"I didn't use a remov--"

Dumbledore glared. It was all Harry could do not to flinch back. 

"Harry, you have used Dark Arts on another student, possibly causing permanent damage--"

"Stop yelling at him!" Draco screamed, scrambling up between Harry and Dumbledore. "I agreed--"

Dumbledore's face tightened. "You have no idea--"

"Go away!" In a hysterical lunge, Draco seized Dumbledore's staff, and tried to shove him back with it.

"Draco!" At Harry's rebuke, Draco hesitated, and Dumbledore flicked his hand forward. 

_"Stupefy."_

There was a flash of red light, and Draco froze and teetered for a terrible second in his imbalanced stance. Harry moved forward, but a squishy fuchsia cushion bloomed beneath his fall, changing the expected thud to a soft 'fwoop'. 

Harry found himself beset with fury, nonetheless. "How dare you! He is _mine!"_

"Yours? People, Harry, cannot be _owned._ I am extremely--"

"I'm not the one hexing--!"

Severus shrieked, a shrill, rising wail which drowned out everything else. Harry spun to find his father thrashing. As one, he and Dumbledore moved to help hold down the flailing limbs and arching body until Madam Pomfrey could cast a restraining spell to keep Severus from throwing himself off the bed. He continued to twitch and scream like a man possessed, but now his eyes were open and white-edged with panic. He clawed at his arm above the Dark Mark. The sleeve gave, tearing back one of his fingernails, as well. The finger splattered blood as he raked the fabric clear. Harry leaped on the good arm and pinned it before his father could repeat the carnage on his flesh.

Harry had seen the Dark Mark both a sullen, old red and the deep swollen black of summoning. This was worse. He did not know whether Voldemort's anger was greater than it had been before, or whether some ritual with his new supplicants had lent him greater power, but the whole force of the Dark Lord's malice seemed bent against his faithless servant in these few inches of skin. The black of the Mark had the sheen of hard coal and bubbled up like boiling lead. Around the design, the skin was a dead white, marbled with cracks that seeped blood. 

"This is worse than I thought poss--"

"Take it OFF, damn you. Take it off, take the skin, the arm, make it STOP!" 

"No!" Harry's pushed the arm down, hearing the hysteria in his own voice as a mirror of his father's shrill plea. "No! That was to be a last resort--" 

"Harry, Harry, let them, let them--" 

"You'll be miserable!"

"You can't save me! I gave HIM THIS!"

Dumbledore's hand gripped Harry's shoulder. He spoke quickly and urgently. "We don't have _time._ We -- _you_ \-- need him sane and presentable in a matter of hours." 

"And the rest of his life?"

That horrible sympathy was trained on him, now. "Could still be better than what has come before."

Severus, his screams now wordless, arched off the bed.

"No!" Pomfrey scrambled to keep Severus on the bed. "He's broken the restraining charm! Help me!"

Harry grabbed at Severus's arms and threw himself forward, trying to bear the thrashing man back down. He was vaguely aware of more people coming to help. It wasn't until wild brown hair caught between his hand and his father's far wrist that he realized one of his helpers was Hermione.

"A calming spell!"

"I have!" Pomfrey's voice was sharp. "Headmaster, if we remove the just the skin--"

Severus twisted under Harry's grasp, gasping a desperate plea for release. Harry tightened his grasp, but Severus shoved his arm forward to burst his encircling hold. Twisting free brought his forearm hard against Harry's bare one, slamming the Dark Mark into Harry's skin. It burned like heated metal. Harry shrieked in surprise and pain. His father winced back from the cry, and Harry pinned the arm again.

The tattoo -- no, the serpent within it -- was moving. It lashed back and forth in anger, mouth wide and teeth dripping green. Harry was certain it had bitten him as well as burned him, and that it, somehow, was killing the flesh around it, deadening an ever-widening area of his father's body. 

Rage flooded his mind. He lunged down to look the snake in the eye. 

" _Stop it! Leave! Leave him alone!"_

Harry was barely aware that he was speaking Parseltongue -- the harsh, sibilant sounds simply poured out of his anger like lava, at a volume the language could barely support. Some distant part of his mind observed that he was making a scene, but at the moment, he didn't care -- he wanted the world to see and fear his rage. _"Go away, you bastard get of adder's corpse! Squiggle pain-tongue, go away!"_

The snakes heard him. Throughout the castle grounds, they raised cold-sleepy heads, intrigued, amused, wondering who had been foolish enough to anger a Speaking Man. 

_Worm! Go. Leave him!"_

Harry heard the hissing laughter of a thousand sleepy snakes. The tattoo serpent closed its mouth with a snap. It writhed uncertainly. 

_"LEAVE HIM! I COMMAND it! Your maker is GONE. I am HERE. LEAVE!_ "

Harry's awareness of the many snakes fled, leaving him precipitously attuned to his physical surroundings -- the room, the bed, his father's wrist gripped tight and hot in his hand. The cessation of his words left the room as still as death. His throat was raw from screaming. 

Harry looked down at his father. Severus was lying unnaturally still, his pale face glossy with sweat, pinned to the bed by many hands - Hermione, across the bed from him, her hair coming down in wild strands from its elegant arrangement; Pomfrey, wand in hand, restraining his father's head and shoulders; Dumbledore, behind him and slightly to the left; possibly another, at the other foot. All of them were staring at Harry, and at the arm in his grasp. The snake was indeed gone, leaving just a line of blisters showing the former path of the snake and a grinning black skull on livid red skin. 

Harry panicked. "Severus?" He shook him. "Father? Father!"

Severus twitched. His eyes flickered open. “Don't," he mumbled, "scream, Potter." He took a few slow, ragged breaths. Harry sank back, queasy with panic and relief. He felt a hand grip his shoulder, but did not move to see who it belonged to. 

"Harry," Hermione whispered. Harry nodded in acknowledgment, but didn't lift his eyes. 

Severus shifted as much as he could. The hands pinning him to the bed loosened their holds, then were slowly lifted from him. He took a few slow, ragged breaths. His eyes remained closed. "Harry. Did they cut it off?"

"Does it feel like it?"

"I've never lost a sodding limb before! How would I know? People say it still-- It--"

"They didn't cut it off." Harry slipped his hold down and squeezed his father's hand for emphasis. "Here. I'm here. Feel me?"

"He's just playing with me, then." Severus sounded frustrated. "Just do it. Let them do it. It will come to that, whatever we do."

"No."

"Don't be foolish, boy." Snape's voice was still a whisper, but a steadier one, now. "There's no other way I'll get through the hearing." 

"I made the snake go away," Harry said. He thought he sounded rather like a six-year-old. _Made the bad thing go 'way, Daddy._ He laughed. He sounded mad, even to himself. 

Severus's eyes blinked open. He peered at Harry in confusion.

"Snake?"

"Look." Harry lifted his father's arm up by the wrist. The skull of the Dark Mark was already fading, but it was still dark enough that the missing serpent was immediately obvious. Snape stared at it in amazement.

"I ... I screamed at it in Parseltongue. A real tantrum-- you know how I can get. I ordered it to leave, and cursed it, and ordered it again and again...."

"It turned around, slid into the skull, and vanished, Severus," Dumbledore said. "And then you stopped screaming." 

Severus collapsed back onto the pillows. "Well, I suppose I'll let it go, this once, then, Harry," he rasped out. Harry grinned. 

"Professor Snape needs sleep, now," Madam Pomfrey said, raising her hands to shoo them all away. Dumbledore shook his head. 

"Not yet." He laid a hand on Severus's shoulder. "Severus. One matter more." 

One of Severus's eyes opened, and then shut again. Dumbledore was not dissuaded. "He cast the Fealty Curse on Draco Malfoy, Severus." 

Snape's eyes opened blearily. "The Dark Lord?"

"Harry. With no removal trigger." 

The hand on Harry shoulder clenched. "You did _what?"_ Remus Lupin's words were low with shock. 

'What sort of classes are you teaching, Lupin?" Pomfrey asked tartly.

"We have _never --"_

"Harry!" Hermione rebuked. 

His father's eyes opened. "Harry -- what?"

"Harry cast the Fealty Curse on--"

"If you'd let me finish--!" Harry said angrily.

"I don't care why--"

"Albus!" Severus intervened. Giving the word urgency left him drained. His eyes closed again. "Let him finish."

"It has a time limit," Harry said. "He'll be over it at dawn."

Severus smiled faintly. "To the extent one is ever over these things." The smile left his lips. "Neither of you will be unchanged, Harry."

"I understand." Harry looked up and met Dumbledore's gaze. "But it was the only way I dared take him with me to a gathering of Voldemort and his Death Eaters, and he wouldn't agree to be left. I made it a time limit rather than a trigger so that he would be freed even if I died." 

Severus shook his head once. "You don't ... understand. Soon...." He sank back against the pillows. Pomfrey took charge. 

"Out! You can wait in the next room. Remus Lupin, make yourself useful and carry young Malfoy to a bed before you revive him -- one in the next room. And you!" She stabbed a finger at Dumbledore with a displeased look. "You and I are going to have a little talk. Right now." 

Dumbledore nodded with uncharacteristic meekness. 

"I do believe I owe that to you, Poppy." 

 

Reluctantly, Harry backed away. When he turned and caught sight of Draco, hanging limp in Remus's arms, he hurried to follow. Remus was just settling Draco in a bed in the front room when Harry caught up. 

"What was it, Harry? Do you know?"

"Just Stupefaction Hex. He was trying to drive Dumbledore--"

_"Renervate."_

Draco, after a second of confusion, shoved Remus to the side to get to Harry, seizing one of Harry's hands between his own. "I'm so sorry! I did just what you said, but he got all angry, and I couldn't--"

"Shhh." Harry laid his free hand on Draco's head. "You did fine. You're not responsible for how Dumbledore reacts."

Remus reached in to separate their hands. Harry pushed back a base urge to fight, and instead soothed Draco. "Let go, pet. It's all right." 

"Pet!" Hermione exclaimed. 

"Now Mr. Malfoy," Remus said gently, "I think you had better return to Slytherin and go straight to your bed--"

"No!" Harry countered. 

"Harry...."

"He can't go back like this! Someone will say something rude about me, and he'll get in a fight, and they'll be trouble afterwards. He needs to stay with me for the night -- until dawn." 

Remus put a hand to his forehead. He looked exhausted. 

"You have a point," he said, "about Slytherin. We'll settle him down here. You may sit beside him, if you like, until Pomfrey calls you, but there is to be no physical contact between you. Is that clear?"

Harry clenched his jaw and reminded himself that Remus was right -- contact would only make it worse. 

"Yes sir." 

 

Hermione wanted to upbraid Harry about the Fealty Spell, but Remus, to Harry's relief, told her to wait until morning. 

"He will be much more capable of discussing it after the fact, Hermione. For now, let's just keep things calm."

Harry ignored the implication that he was currently incompetent. He suspected it was true. Even when Remus had led Hermione away, to the far side of the room, he found he didn't want to talk to Draco, not when Draco could not but agree with -- admire -- everything he said. Instead, he had Draco take his mail shirt off, then told him to lie down.

"What happened?" Draco asked. Harry found the slight whine in his voice reassuring. "Is Professor Snape all right?"

"He's fine." 

"How did we end up here?"

Harry shook his head. "I'll tell you about it in the morning. You need to sleep, now."

Draco frowned. "I'm not tired. We can talk about it." 

Harry shook his head and got up from the chair. "Not now. _Now_ you sleep -- I need you rested, Draco."

With a meek nod, Draco lay down and closed his eyes. Harry stepped away and crossed the awkward silence of the room to stand by the window. He moved close enough to the darkness to see the faint glimmer of moonlight on the lake. Suddenly, he was trembling uncontrollably. He listened to the sounds of someone approaching. 

"Harry?" Hermione's voice was a bare whisper. There was no censure in it, but it made Harry shake harder. 

"I can't believe I was such an idiot."

Her hand rested on his arm a moment, then gripped it supportively.

"I expect it was a difficult situation." 

"Yes, but.... Once he'd agreed, I didn't need to do it, did I? And he would have been more useful if I hadn't had to take care of him." He leaned his forehead into the cool stone wall. "What is he going to do when it's over?"

Hermione took a deep breath, but before she could comment, Remus intervened. 

"I think you two had better leave it for later. Harry, we _will_ be discussing this, whatever Severus thinks, but not now." He took Hermione's elbow politely, but firmly, in hand. "For now, Miss Granger is going back to her dormitory. Harry, I will be back in a little while to check on you." 

"Yes sir." Harry forced himself to look up. "Thanks." 

Remus's disapproval faded to something softer and sadder. "You're welcome, Harry." He kissed the top of Harry's head, though he no longer had to bend down to do so. "I'd rather you didn't need such attention." 

 

After they left, Harry extinguished several torches, and sat in the window to watch the slow progress of the moon-cast shadows on the lawn. It was at least a half-hour, by his estimate, before Pomfrey called him back.

"Now, Mr. Potter -- or should I say _Snape_? I _do_ wish someone had deigned to explain to me what was going on, when I could have helped, but the headmaster assures me that's none of your fault." She tossed her arms up in a gesture of frustration. "Muscle aches! Well, I'd expect so!" She looked at him and sighed. "Your father is recovering. I had to remove some of the skin near the Mark, but it appears to be growing back normally -- by morning, he should only have a mild itchiness where it is new." She hesitated. "And no sign of the ... snake -- not that I see how it matters, but if it does...."

Harry grew uneasy with her silence. "Then?"

"He refuses to remain in my care. That's typical of him -- he's a worse patient than a dinner companion, really! But if the snake -- if he relapses...." She sighed, then nodded decisively. "I'd like you to stay within earshot of him, for tonight, and call me immediately if he starts screaming or convulsing. Would you do that?"

"Yes, of course." 

"Are you sure? He can be very difficult."

Harry grinned. "I know."

"Good." Madam Pomfrey's cheeks dimpled. "Let's talk to him, then." 

 

So that was how Harry found himself back in his old room in the dungeon. He had offered to take the couch, but Severus had insisted on their own beds for both of them, putting them three rooms apart. Dumbledore, without comment, had spelled the intervening doors ajar, and forbidden any spells that would muffle noise. Harry settled into his bed with guilty comfort, fervently hoping he would not wake to screams. 

 


	81. The Morning After

 

Severus woke to screams -- not of pain, but of loss. Alarm pitched him off his bed and through the door in an instant. He was half-way across the pitch-black sitting room when the howls subsided. 

He stopped cautiously at the open door to Harry's room. 

The sky outside the enchanted window was grey, and a pale light diffused through the chamber. Harry was on the bed, his covers scattered by the violence of his waking, curled up and rocking with the effort to contain his distress. He no longer screamed, but his continuous muted keening was broken by choked sobs. Severus crossed the room and sat on the bed. After a moment's hesitation, he let his hand go where it wanted, to Harry's dark hair, and brushed it back from the boy's temple in long strokes. He watched his son struggle to steady his breathing. 

"He's gone."

The words were so strained as to be barely intelligible. Severus sighed. "Child. Now you _do_ understand."

He waited for a few minutes while Harry's distress grew quieter. It took several attempts before the boy managed to speak again, but when he did, his voice was stronger. 

"I-- when it ended, I could feel him being torn away from me. It woke me. It _hurt._ Sorry about the noise."

Severus shrugged. "I needed to wake soon, in any case." 

"I ... I haven't felt so alone since Sirius died. There's no reason for it -- it wasn't what we were; it wasn't anything I wanted to be; he's perfectly fine; he's out there, somewhere."

Harry managed to sit up. He pulled a blanket over his legs -- for comfort, Severus guessed, as his nightclothes were far more decent than the previous night's outfit. "Is it that it ended so soon? Would it be less awful if it happened later?"

"I have no personal experience of the dominant end of such a spell, but the effects of taking the Dark Mark --" Severus tried not to let his breath shorten with the memory of the transitive power of being completely subsumed into the Dark Lord's glory -- "decreased notably with time. The first few days were by far the most unmanageable." He frowned. "That is only a related spell, however. The emphasis of the Morsmordre's binding is on ownership, not loyalty, so it was never as emotional." He was not actually certain that was true, but if Harry's behavior indicated anything beyond Harry's personality, the emotions were quite different. 

Harry sighed. "He's going to hate me."

Severus hesitated. "Quite likely."

"Comforting, aren't you?"

"I see no reason to cosset you with false assurances. I will give you any help I can; I will not tell you it will be all right."

"Okay." Harry glanced down, then looked back at him with something like relief muting the pain. "Thanks. So ... what do you think Dumbledore will do to me?"

"I don't know. You did use Dark Arts on a fellow student. However, I intend to remind him of the Weakening Curse, and point out that your judgment continues to be impaired. In my opinion, you should be barred from any access to restricted materials and watched closely until you have regained some sense of limits. After that...." Severus shrugged slightly. "That will depend on how well you behave." 

"Oh." Harry seemed to be shivering. "I'm sorry." 

"There will be time for apologies later -- I hope. In case you have forgotten, we have an appointment at the Ministry in a few short hours. Right now, we both need a bath, breakfast, proper clothing, and a discussion of more immediate strategies." Severus felt his mouth twitch in a flicker of amusement. "Since I was the one thrashing on the ground, you bathe first; I'll take longer. When you are done, contact the house elves and have them fetch down appropriate clothing. Perhaps the green robes, or that outfit you purchased on your own."

"Not the red?"

"Too ostentatious. The green would be best."

***********

The house elf disappeared with a pop, and Harry rubbed at his forehead. He felt abandoned. His head swam with odd memories -- Cho storming out on him, Ron turning on him, Sirius gone -- but all overlaid with the picture of Draco kneeling at his feet, his upturned face glowing with joyful devotion. He felt simultaneously bereft and sickened. _That is not Draco. Draco is not and never will be that! _He began to whisper to himself. "I am mourning for a doll, a ..." He cast around wildly for the proper term from a Dark Creatures text. "... a _golem._ A thing in his image."

Harry stared at the soft folds of his green robes. He didn't see how he was going to get through the hearing; he couldn't even _think_ about the hearing. He forced himself to smooth back his hair. He really needed to go brush it, but he continued to stand where he was.

He heard a crash in the bathroom. 

"All right?"

"Yes!" came a snarling reply. "Go make tea." 

Harry sighed, and started towards the kitchen. He had seen the tremors in his father's hands while they spoke, however much Severus chose to ignore them. He might be recovering, but he was not yet past the effects of his torture. Neither of them would be at their best for the hearing. 

There was a knock at the door. Harry ran back to look in the mirror. The moment he saw it was Draco, he fumbled the door open. 

Draco shot inside and turned, his mouth already open to speak, before he saw who had let him in. The color drained from his face.

"YOU! You bastard!" Icy fury filled his voice, and his grey eyes narrowed in loathing. Harry was horrifyingly reminded of Malfoy senior. "You arrogant, self-absorbed little prick!"

"Draco, I'm sorry! I shouldn't ha-"

"Damn right! I WAS HONEST WITH YOU! I told you things! How _dare_ you force me!"

"Look, Draco, there was a lot at stake--"

"There's always a lot at stake!"

"I was AFRAID, all right? I'm sorry. It was a horrible thing to do--"

"You think you can do _anything!_ As if having the proper goals excused any behavior! That's what my father's like, you know. That's what all of them--"

"I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT! If I had it to do over, I wouldn't. Please _listen_ for a--"

"I have no REASON TO LISTEN--"

"I'M SORRY!"

A door opened behind Harry, bringing the scent of warmed soap. He could hear the bath draining. Malfoy stood silent for a moment, his fists clenched at his sides, and his face slowly emptying of emotion. He shook back his short fringe. "That is _not_ adequate."

"Yes! It's not adequate! I _know_ it's not adequate! Go decide what IS." Harry tried to catch his breath. His throat hurt. "Then talk to me. You're important to me."

"Yes, I daresay you'll need your own servants soon."

"Stop it!" 

"Harry," Severus said coolly, "Draco -- this is not the time."

Draco looked past Harry, and his eyes narrowed. 

"He _slept_ here, didn't he?"

"Draco, I mean it. This is _not_ the time. I must escort Harry to London." Severus tightened his lips as if holding back words for a moment. He took a breath. "When we return, I will tell you what has been happening, and then the two of you can shout at each other as much as you wish."

Draco drew himself up. "I don't wish ever again to speak to him." He looked contemptuously at Severus. "And I'm not certain about you, either." 

"Then you can hear my news with the rest of your house. Go." 

Draco turned on his heel and stalked out. The door closed hard behind him. 

Harry tried to breathe. He could feel Severus behind him, not touching, but standing close, the warmth of the bath still radiating off him. 

"Dad?" Harry said tentatively. He looked down to hide the blush he could feel crawling up his skin. "Sorry."

"If you are apologizing for not speaking like the well-drilled heir of a crashing snob, you can forget it. I gave up trying to be Lucius Malfoy before you were born." 

The tone was too dry for Harry to get much sense of his father's mood. He dared to turn and look. It didn't help. Severus looked intense, but Harry could read nothing more in his drawn face. 

"But you ... you're so formal."

"And _you_ are so formal. And it bothers me no end." 

"Oh." Harry felt lost. "You never ... said anything." 

"There was no point, when you wouldn't have been comfortable." In the face of Harry's continued study, he sighed, and his shoulders settled slightly. "You don't call me 'Dad.' That's what you call James." He shrugged. 

Harry considered this for a minute, while he struggled for words. "It was...." Watching Severus carefully, he said, "It took a while to work out the ways he was still my father."

"Ah. And?"

"Through my mum, in defiance of Voldemort, in hope and fear, by love ..." Harry bit his lip. "... in all ways, by choice."

Black eyes flickered down, then up. "Blood or no, I also _chose_ to be your father."

Harry smiled. "I know." He glanced down. "Um ... are you my dad, then?"

A smile, brief, but unmistakable, flickered across his father's face. "If that suits you." He glared briefly. _"Not_ in class."

"I suppose in class I should continue to address you as 'Professor' or 'Sir'?"

"Right in one."

"That's okay. I already think of you as a different person in class, anyway."

Severus raised his eyebrows at that, but did not ask for a clarification. "Are you ready for the hearing?"

Harry groaned. He could still picture Courtroom Ten, with the assembled Wizengamot glaring down at him. "I want a cigarette."

"No."

The reply was practically a growl. Harry grinned at the tone. "Well, that's something, anyway."

Severus studied him. "Being told you cannot?"

He felt himself heat, but managed a nod. "It's about as comforting -- in an entirely different way, of course."

His father snorted. "I had no _idea_ I was so good at giving comfort."

Before Harry could think of a response, the fire flared in the grate, and Dumbledore's head appeared in the flames. 

"Severus? Harry? You are ready, I hope?" 

"I still need to dress, headmaster."

That was true, Harry noted. Severus had been standing in a grey dressing gown, all this time, with his wet hair dripping trails of water down his collar. 

"No time to dawdle! And you're not to hide in the dungeons. I expect both of you at breakfast. Please send Harry up now, and come to my office as soon as you are presentable."

"Of course, headmaster."

"Harry, you will come speak to me after you have eaten. Don't take too much time -- Bill still needs to apply your mask."

 

Before stepping outside, Harry checked the mirror; the corridor was empty. It wasn't until he was opening the door that he realized it didn't matter. Voldemort already knew that Severus had betrayed him, and Harry was certain he could not repair the Dark Mark -- at least, not at a distance. Even if he knew about their relationship and the hearing -- and Severus, when asked, had laughed rather strangely and said he did not -- there was little he could do now. 

It felt very odd, and very good, to walk openly up the stairs from the dungeons. Harry almost wished he would encounter someone, so he could wave and wish them a cheerful good morning. 

 

As he entered the Great Hall, a group of laggard Ravenclaws were just crossing the floor; everyone else was already seated. People at all the tables -- though more at Gryffindor and Slytherin -- whispered as he made his way into the hall. For a moment, Harry wondered if they had found out about his parentage. It took a moment for his sleep-deprived mind to grasp the more likely explanations. 

_Right! I'm coming into breakfast in dress robes -- green dress robes, for Pete's sake! -- and I'm wondering why people are staring at me._ He sniffed. _It would be just my luck to dribble egg on them before the hearing!_ Hermione had saved him a spot between her and Dean. He hurried over and slipped into it. 

"Well, good morning to you Harry!" Seamus said heartily. Some of the people at the next table over turned to look. "Had a pleasant night, did you?"

Harry didn't know what to say. _Right. All of Gryffindor must know I was out all night._ He reached for the sausages. "Not really," he muttered.

_I wonder if Draco's having these problems, or if enough Slytherins were gone missing last night that no one's asking why he was one?_

Lavender tittered and Colin snorted. _Colin?_ Harry stared. As of last night, Colin had still been unconscious in a hospital bed. Dumbledore must have decided it was safe to release him, after last night's events. Hermione touched his arm to get his attention before giving him a look of genuine sympathy. She, at least, had some idea what his night had genuinely been like. He tried to ignore the signs of worry in her tired countenance. 

"Pity," Parvati sighed. "He looks so dreamy."

Harry blinked. "He... who?"

"Oh really, Harry! Everyone knows you were with Malfoy!"

"I was _not_ with-- Well, not _with,_ with--" 

She sniffed. "He just happened to leave the party right after you?"

Harry looked rapidly around. Most people were sniggering or looking away. Ron was bright red, but scowling at Parvati. "The whole Death Eater in training set left -- didn't you notice?"

This time, it was Hermione who snorted contemptuously. "Malfoy? Have you taken a look at him this morning, Ron?"

"I try to avoid looking at anything that might put me off my food."

"Obviously." 

Neville glanced shyly at Harry, then away. "He's gone to a bit of trouble to bare his arms, I'd say." 

Harry looked over Seamus's shoulder at the Slytherin table. Draco was wearing his standard school robes -- but he had threaded a sash through both arms to gather them up at his shoulders, as if he was working with something messy in Herbology. The shirt beneath had short, slim sleeves that left his arms bare to above the elbow. Harry smiled spontaneously at the sight. _Doesn't seem that I've shoved him back into Voldemort's camp, at any rate. He's displaying that he's still his own man..._

His smile faltered as he saw the girl sitting next to Draco -- Olivia. _And all of Slytherin must know I walked out on her._ Apprehensively, he dared a small nod in her direction, but Olivia glared back at Harry as if she would as soon kill him as speak to him. 

Harry pretended he hadn't noticed. He let his gaze slip over her, and along the Slytherin table. Despite Draco's display, few of his whispering housemates seemed to be looking at him. Now that Harry had sat down, he seemed to have lost their attention as well. Instead, they glanced frequently up at the staff table. 

_Waiting for their head of house, I expect._ Harry looked up at Severus's empty place as well. _Have the ones that were with Voldemort talked?_ Belatedly, he realized how strange the story would sound, coming from the Death Eater students to their fellows: _Oh yes, we slipped out and joined Voldemort and watched our favorite teacher being tortured._ He wondered how their escape had looked to those present. He wondered if they had understood the end of it -- if they had been able to see anything through the circle of Death Eaters -- did they know Severus had escaped? Voldemort must have been furious -- no one would have dared speculate or gossip or answer the questions of a lot of callow schoolkids. _They may not know what happened at all._

"But they did all leave!" Ron insisted, pulling Harry back to the matter of his supposed dalliance. "Right after ... well. Crabbe and Goyle and the Nott boy, and _then_ Harry took off. So Malfoy--"

Seamus reached over and grabbed Harry's wrist. With mock seriousness, he said, "Well, perhaps we'd better check on our Harry, then--"

Harry realized what he was doing just as Seamus started to push his sleeve up, and twisted his arm free. Seamus's nails scraped along his wrist.

"Stop it!" Harry hissed. 

Seamus looked genuinely shocked. 

"You idiot! This is not funny! The Slytherins are staring at us!"

Seamus burst out laughing and gave Harry a friendly punch in the arm. "They'd be staring at you anyway -- Malfoy's been talking--"

"His pet troll actually _hugged_ him when he turned up this morning!" Parvati contributed. "Pulled him right off the ground! We could tell he'd been missing all night, too."

"Ah, but _I_ heard--"

"Seamus, I'm sorry to spoil your hot gossip, but _several_ people were out all night, and --" Harry glared at Ron -- "only some of them -- some of us -- are Death Eaters." He leaned forward. That hadn't come out right at all _._ "I mean, the would-be Death Eaters and some of their friends left, and then the rest of us-- Oh, damn it, I was just _busy,_ okay?" 

Ginny, from Dean's other side, sighed, but before she could speak, Jack started in. "I was behind a few of the Slytherins coming in--"

"Was it smelly?"

"-- and one of them was saying Snape was _killed_ last night."

"Yes!" crowed a fourth year, causing scattered laughter. Ron looked anxiously at Harry, who shook his head minutely. While people talked about what they'd do with the time freed up from Potions assignments, Harry studied the Slytherins, carefully avoiding the place where Draco sat with Olivia. 

Pansy was there, looking nervous, but not as shuttered as Draco. She was nodding absently in response to the conversation of the two girls to her left, but her eyes never left the front of the room. On her other side, Theodore Nott was slowly raising his fork to his lips, moving like a man who had been given the kiss. Harry scanned down the table for Crabbe and found him eating as steadily as a pig at a trough, absolutely like any other morning. In between Crabbe and Nott, he again noticed how many Slytherins were whispering, rather than eating. Most of them looked upset. 

"He could have just been fired." 

"I heard Hagrid found, you know ... bits." There were more screams of nervous laughter. "Not _all_ of them, mind...." 

Harry poked his fork at a congealing sausage and listened to his housemates. He had heard some people ate when they were anxious. He wished he could. Across the hall, he watched Draco fume at the laughter from the Gryffindor table.

Neville's voice pitched in, more serious and quiet than the others. "What bothers me is Dumbledore. No one's seen him either. What if Snape betrayed him to You-Know-Who, during the ... whatever, last night?"

"I heard he went to You-Know-Who and brought _all_ the seventh-year Slytherins with him."

"I don't think anything happened last night, really. There was nothing in the paper."

Harry poked at the sausage again, rolling it over. "Wait till they find the bodies."

Immediately, he was the center of attention, again. 

"Who died?"

"Snape?

"Please say yes!" Iggy begged. "I haven't even started the research." 

Harry looked sharply up. "No," he snapped. "He didn't die." 

"Dumbledore?"

"Alive enough to scold me." 

A sharp look from Hermione reminded him that she knew _why_ Dumbledore had scolded him. Guiltily, Harry sought out Draco's place, again, and saw him standing behind the bench speaking angrily to a Slytherin girl. As he watched, Draco turned on his heel and stalked down the hall towards the door.

"Oh hell." He hadn't meant to say anything. It just slipped out. 

Dean nudged him. "Things didn't go too well with him?"

His voice was low -- and gentle, Harry thought -- but Seamus overheard him and sniggered. He poked Harry's arm. "Yeah, you keep squirming out of the Malfoy question."

"We were both out! Fine! Lots of people were out last night!"

Seamus shook his head. "But Malfoy was the only one of them gone _all_ night. One of his mates was ribbing him in the hallway, and he said you took him out walking, but then went home with an older man. Is it true?"

Harry choked on his pumpkin juice. "Seamus!"

"Well, is it? You keep walking out on your girls, don't you now? I mean, everyone's noticed, by now."

"I went out walking _by myself,_ Draco _followed_ me, and I was escorted home by a _teacher._ "

Seamus didn't look impressed. "Then where did you sleep?

"Where do I usually sleep when I'm not in Gryffindor?"

"Uhn-uh. You weren't in the hospital wing."

Harry looked around. 

"Sorry," Ron said. "We checked."

Neville blushed. "Madam Pomfrey told us you don't live there." 

Harry sighed. "Look, I fell asleep, okay? I wasn't _with_ anyone."

Dean sniggered. "Too many bubbles?"

Harry pushed his plate away and leaned his face into his hands. "My reputation is toast."

"Exactly," Seamus said cheerily. "And you know what they say -- If life gives you toast, cover it with marmalade." He gestured broadly with a sticky spoon. "So give us all the filthy details, right? Go ahead."

Harry took in a deep breath. The others waited. Suddenly, they noticed that the rest of the room was utterly silent. 

"Oh, bloody _hell,"_ Zoë whispered. 

Cheers erupted from the Slytherin table. 

Professor Snape had entered the room. 

Harry suspected any observant watcher would see the care that Severus was putting into keeping his walk steady. He moved like a much older man. Hooch, with her keen sense of injuries, pushed her chair back to go help him. At his glare, she remained in her place. 

Harry looked over at the Slytherins. Just about all the younger ones were cheering. Among the sixth- and seventh-year students -- and even some of the fifth years -- the reaction was less unambiguously favorable. Pansy Parkinson sagged against Theodore Nott as if on the verge of fainting. Radiana Nott was leaning across her -- _brother?_ Harry wondered. _Cousin? --_ and touching Pansy's hand. Crabbe had finally looked up from his food, and his brow was furrowing with slow worry.

_You made your bed,_ Harry thought, but he couldn't summon any satisfaction. He couldn't believe any of them had understood what they had been getting into -- not really. He knew more about the Dark Lord than even Draco did -- what could a pampered girl like Parkinson, or a dull beast like Crabbe know? 

He wondered if Goyle had accompanied Crabbe into Voldemort's service. He looked down the lines of seated students until he found massive boy, grinning broadly up at his head of house. Goyle might just be missing the implications, but Harry thought it more likely he had complied with Draco's wishes, and had been safely at Hogwarts during his professor's torture. 

"So glad I finished my essay."

Seamus's glib comment brought Harry back to the Gryffindor table. He started to pick up his fork, but Seamus grabbed at his arm. "Don't you think you're off the hook, Harry. Spill the beans. Was he -- she? -- good? Did you go all the way?"

Harry drew back. "I'll tell you all about it tonight." Seamus was startled into silence by this apparent capitulation, so Harry pushed on. "I can't tell you now." He pushed away his uneaten breakfast and stood up. "Ron? Hermione? Are you finished? We need to talk, and I don't have much time." 

"Oooo," Seamus said. "Such a busy man, our Harry." 

"Oh do shut up!" Harry snapped. He stalked off to the sound of mixed laughter.

 

Hermione caught up with him just outside the Great Hall. 

"Thank you." 

She gave him a small, nervous smile. "Ron stayed to yell at the others. He'll catch up. You were down in the dungeons?"

"Yeah."

Harry looked nervously about them. "Let's start up the stairs, all right? It doesn't matter as much, now, but I don't like to be so close to corners."

"Corners?"

"Can't see who's listening." 

She gave a wry smile and nodded. In silence, they crossed the floor together, and ascended the main staircase. At the first landing, Harry paused, glanced up and down the stairs, and nudged Hermione. 

"So ... since we're alone? Could I ask your advice on ... on a personal matter?"

She took a quick breath. "Of course, Harry!" She glanced back towards the Great Hall. "Olivia, I suppose?"

Harry groaned. "Oh hell! I've been trying not to think about that. No, Draco." 

Another quick breath. "Oh. Want to tell me why, then?"

" He followed me, last night, just like I said. But he said he wanted to help."

"And did he?"

"Sort of." Harry sighed and rubbed his forehead. They had reached the first floor, and it seemed inadvisable to go any further without Ron. He turned and leaned forward on the railing. "But I didn't trust him. I made him ..." He felt his face heat with shame. "So ... the spell."

"Yes, well. I can understand not trusting him." Hermione's face tightened. "But the Fealty Spell? That's medieval! And Dark Arts, of course. How did you learn it, anyway? _Why_ did you? And--" She looked down, then, and Harry saw her throat move in a swallow.

"I know it's Dark Arts. It was also _stupid,_ because once he'd agreed, I probably could have taken the risk."

"Watching him act like that, and you just--"

Harry reached a hand out to her arm. "Please don't scold -- I'll get enough of that later. I understand perfectly well what I did, and I'm not making excuses. I just want ideas on how I'm ever going to get him to forgive me."

Hermione contented herself with one last hard look before settling into considering the matter. "As I understand the Fealty Spell -- not that I'm in the habit of studying Dark Arts, so that's purely from a historical context -- it requires a willing subject for the spell to function -- and it clearly did. So was Malfoy willing? Or is that whole 'willing subject' some sort of aristocratic propaganda?"

"Within the broadest definition of 'willing,' yes, he was. That is, he preferred it to the offered alternatives. But he was furious with me, this morning. I don't think he knew what it would be like. _I_ didn't know what it would be like. I felt like he was my property -- a sort of pet." Harry felt ill. "I treat my pets well, fortunately, but even so...." 

Hermione shivered, but she reached over to grasp his hand. "I don't like that at all, Harry."

"Like what? That I'll use Dark Arts? That I'll subject my supposed friends to spells I barely know? That I'd rather control someone than trust him?"

"That last one, I think." She frowned. "I mean, I wouldn't trust Malfoy myself, but you didn't trust me and Ron, either." 

"Not my risk, or my decision," Harry argued, but then he sighed. "I don't like it either, looking back, but it's so easy to keep doing." He laughed uneasily. Ron had just emerged from the Great Hall, below them. Harry waved to get his attention. "I suspect I'll have _much_ more trouble getting away with things, now, though, with Remus and McGonagall both able to go to F-- to my dad." 

Surprise straightened Hermione out of her huddle, but all she said was, "Oh." 

"Which might be for the best. So ... ideas?"

"Apologize?"

"I've tried." Harry shrugged. "I'll try again. If you get anything from Shadow...."

She shook her head, but her eyes gleamed. She glanced quickly up and down the stairs, and down the long corridor. No one was near. Casually, she said, "Shadow won't be around much longer. The headmaster thinks he's ready for his new home." 

"I don't know. Maybe he's better off staying." Harry dropped his voice to a bare whisper. "Near Pansy." 

Hermione rolled her eyes. "I'm sure I'm _terribly_ interested in nasty little gossips like Parkinson and her gang."

Harry heard approaching footsteps ascending the stairs. Expected as they were, he nonetheless turned to look. Ron, suddenly confronted with whatever was in Harry's face, stopped abruptly, one foot poised above the next step. 

"You all right, mate?"

"Harry?" Hermione was touching his shoulder. 

"Cast that shield. The one you did before, Ron -- the dome."

Ron hurried up to join them, hustled them into the relative obscurity of the corridor, and cast. Harry let his eyes close. 

"She was _there."_

"What?"

"With the -- with Voldemort." Harry looked nervously at Hermione. "She did it, I think. Really did it."

"Told on your father herself?" Hermione frowned. "I thought she had sent a letter through Crabbe. Did Voldemort want to question her?"

Harry stared at her incredulously. "No! Well, yes, I -- don't you understand what they were there _for?_ She took the Dark Mark -- didn't you see her face when Sev-- fa-- when her head of house came in? Alive?" 

Hermione's eyes widened. "But ... but she's just a ... a stupid little ..." Her mouth worked for a moment, while she considered and discarded epithets. "... lapdog!"

"He _likes_ lapdogs." Harry felt his lip curl with contempt. He tried not to think of soft blond hair beneath his fingers. "And she's not stupid. She worked a lot out by herself; she used it to her advantage -- or so she thought. In a year or two she may be less pleased." He shivered. "Though from her face this morning ... she may already realize she made a bad bargain."

She rubbed her forehead. "Who else?"

Harry glanced nervously at Ron, whose expression suggested was still coming to terms with the image of Parkinson with the Dark Mark on her arm.

"You're saying she's a Death Eater now?" he asked. "That silly, giggling girl? We have a Death Eater in school, and it's _Pansy Parkinson?"_

"We had Death Eaters in school already, Ron."

"What!?"

Harry winced at Hermione's yelp. He'd forgotten she didn't know. "Last night, when they were summoned -- I felt it. My scar -- sometimes I feel it. At least three seventh-years left -- two Slytherins and one Ravenclaw."

"They were going to join, you think?"

"If they hadn't 'joined,' as you say, already, they wouldn't have felt the summoning. There were others who did join last night -- Parkinson, Crabbe, I saw them there -- but those three were Death Eaters already. Must have been since summer, at least." Harry exhaled sharply. "Voldemort's not as picky as Dumbledore about underage followers -- big surprise, that."

"There are three -- five, I mean -- Death Eaters _at Hogwarts? In our classes?"_

"There may have been more, but Olivia didn't want me to keep looking."

Hermione snorted. "So you didn't?"

Harry glared back at Hermione's indignation. "She was afraid for someone. I understand that; I'm scary. People get _killed_ around me." 

"But, Harry...."

"Olivia was protecting someone she cared about. I understand that -- I have people I protect too! I don't even know if it was someone who _had_ \-- it might have been someone she was afraid _would_. I was afraid Draco would." Harry scowled. "I'm the sort who always looks, though. I kept checking to make sure he hadn't followed them out." 

Hermione frowned. "Do you know he wouldn't have?"

Harry pushed his hands into his hair and pulled at it for a moment. "No. That's the awful thing -- it's almost worse than having him so pissed off with me -- now I'll never know." He bit his lip. "I don't think so. He seemed to be following me. He said he'd go back if I did. Actually, he said that after the spell, too, so it _must_ be true. All right. He wouldn't have." He looked away. "Of course ... now I need to worry in case I messed that up." 

It was Ron, surprisingly, who shook his head. "You saw how he was wearing his robes, this morning. He looked a right wazzock, but he was showing anyone who cared to look that he didn't do it -- didn't want to do it. He'd rather be suspected of spending the night with you." He looked appraisingly at Harry. "You had a fight?"

"I treated him badly."

Ron made a disgusted face. "Do I want to know?"

"Oh honestly! Ron! You don't believe that crap, do you? There was nothing more to me being-- to Draco following me than to me going walking with you! He was pissed off at me for deserting Olivia! That was all it was!" Harry threw his hands up in the air. "We fought, I hexed him, he helped me, and I rescued my father from Voldemort. End of story. I would have come back to Gryffindor, but Pomfrey thought.... I needed to stay with him -- my dad, I mean." 

"And Malfoy?"

"I'd left him in no condition to go back to his dormitory." Harry sighed and rubbed at his forehead. _Time to face the music._ "I'm supposed to be in Dumbledore's office. Walk with me, all right?" 

They walked in silence, Harry grateful for his friends' presence. At the gargoyle, Harry did not give the password immediately. He realized, suddenly, how little thought he had given to what came after the hearing. 

"When I get back tonight..." He didn't dare imagine what would happen if Fudge got the guardianship after all. Would he be coming back at all? He plowed on, as if the outcome was certain. "I'd really like to tell the others about everything straight away, before they hear from anyone else. Just Neville, Dean and Seamus, OK?" He looked at Ron, who nodded. 

"Just let me know. I'll bring them wherever you like." He hesitated. "Should I tell them anything, or not?"

Harry nodded. "Yes. Go ahead and tell them; I trust you. I just want the hearing to be under way, first -- wait until after lunch."

He looked past Ron, at Hermione. "And I'd really like to call a D.A. meeting, before dinner, just so they hear it from me. I expect Dumbledore will want to make some kind of big public announcement about it all tonight." 

Hermione looked thoughtful. "All right. I'll call everyone for half an hour before dinner. That should give you time to tell the boys your family news first. But -- well, is it boys only, or could Ginny and I come along?"

Harry grasped her hand. "That's all right. You're family too." 

Hermione's cheeks dimpled with the fullness of her smile. 

 


	82. The Custody Hearing

 

"Bit of a cool 'good morning' you got there," Bill commented. Harry started to nod, but the tickle of a thestral-hair brush across his cheek reminded him to stay still. Dumbledore's greeting _had_ lacked its usual warmth, though the expected lecture seemed to have been postponed, at least until after the hearing. 

"I'm in disgrace."

"Ah. Was Snape in here because of that, or in spite of it?" Bill grinned. "Just tell me to mind my own business, if you like." 

"I expect they'd have talked anyway, but I'm certain what I did was added to the agenda."

Bill nodded. For a few minutes, he painted in silence. 

"Worried about the hearing?"

"Yeah." Harry was surprised to realize that was true. The fight with Draco and the talk with Hermione had done nothing to make him more hopeful of repairing the damage, nor to dispel the pit of loss left by the abrupt end of the Fealty Spell, but it seemed to have disrupted his obsession with the matter. The hearing had once again claimed center stage among his worries. 

"Ah." Bill sighed. "Has anyone told you you'll have a guard, today?"

"No." Harry bit back an "of course not." It was possible there simply hadn't been time.

"Ah. Well, Kingsley has been cultivating an old school friend at the Daily Prophet, and last night it paid off. We found out that someone -- well, Percy, actually -- had contacted the Prophet and suggested they might want to cover the hearing. At least two other publications were also invited. So it turns out the hearing will have significant press coverage."

"Oh hell!"

"Well ..." Bill frowned. "I'm sure you won't like it; I wouldn't. It means, though, that Fudge has less leeway than he might have. He can't suddenly change the time or location, for example. And his cronies can't make favorable rulings without being able to defend them. Wizarding law is more strongly biased to blood relatives than Muggle law is, according to Tonks." 

"How much more, though? Could we lose this?"

Bill gave him a questioning look. "Concerned?"

"Well, I don't want to be under the care of the Ministry!" The thought of Umbridge, the last Ministry representative to have authority over him, caused Harry to rub anxiously at the back of his right hand. The light here wasn't bright enough to show the faint words there, but he could still see them in sunlight. 

"Is that it?" Bill pushed a stray strand of bright hair back over his shoulders. "Well, they can't refuse custody to Snape just because they don't think he'd be a good parent, or that someone else would be better. If they decide you would be actively endangered by him, though, they can." Bill's open smile twisted for a moment. "Good thing they didn't find out in advance -- I think they could establish a pattern of abuse, if they talked to enough of your classmates." 

"But even then he protected me," Harry protested. "And he did think it was the best thing for me -- being harsh with me, I mean -- he just thought he knew things about me that he didn't."

"Even so. It could sway a fair number of people, considering his history. I expect he's listening to a sermon on civility right now -- it won't look good if he goes off into one of his fits of temper." Bill frowned as he painted the area under Harry's lip. "And removed from Hogwarts, you have less protection ... unless Snape dies for you as your mother did."

Harry scowled, sending the brush wide. "No one else is allowed to die for me!"

"Sit still and be quiet." Bill's voice was neither loud nor sharp, but carried an iron core of authority that reminded Harry of McGonagall. "It is not your decision to make. We have our own lives, and will do with them as we see fit." 

"But I don't want it!"

"Nonetheless. Given the choice of dying for you or living under Voldemort, I wouldn't hesitate."

Harry swallowed. Of course, it was not just him. If he died, many hopes died with him. 

"Is it wrong to want Voldemort gone for frivolous reasons?"

"Frivolous?"

"So I can have a life?"

"That's not frivolous, Harry. You're more trapped by his hatred than any other potential target."

"Do we think he'll attack, today?"

"At the hearing? As the event is public knowledge, he might. I don't think he will, though -- he would almost certainly lose any operative he sent, and likely to no advantage. Like Fudge, he probably assumes that the hearing is a formality, and plans to wait until you're away from Dumbledore."

"Why the guard, then?"

Bill grinned. "The press. We're going to keep them off you."

Harry's spirits lifted considerably at Bill's use of "we." Having the eldest Weasley brother along couldn't help but improve his day. "You and who else?"

"Me and Fred and George. They said they might bring along a few friends, too, since this isn't an Order of the Phoenix operation. Dad, if nothing comes up. Tonks wanted to, but Dumbledore doesn't want her so clearly linked with you." 

"So what should I do?"

"The same as your father. Be steady, be reasonable, and don't charge any red flags that get waved in front of you."

"We're doomed." 

Harry was only half-joking. The thought that the hearing rested on his and his father's ability to stay calm was daunting.

"You might want to lose the knife." Bill nodded at the knife in its red and gold sheath at Harry's waist. "I admit it sets off the green nicely, but they won't allow a weapon into the Chamber, however pretty it is, and we'd have trouble if you stuck it in someone on the way."

Nervously, Harry fingered the hilt of the knife. 

"I was hoping.... It's spelled to be unable to cut human flesh."

Bill's eyebrows rose. "Oh, in that case, they might allow it. It's even less useful, though." He laughed. "Haven't tried to cheat a goblin, have you Harry?"

"No. It's not a fighting knife, anyway. It's a utility knife. And I don't know how to knife-fight." 

 

In the front hall of the Ministry, when the charms on the knife had been tested, and the item approved for admittance, tagged, and handed back to him, he started to wonder if he _should_ learn to knife fight. Even if the charmed knife wouldn't pierce flesh -- and he wasn't certain it wouldn't -- thrusting with something with such a fine point should still be able to do significant damage. The idle thought was driven away by Lee Jordan slapping him on the back.

"Nice one, Harry!" 

Lee had been waiting at the Floo point, with Fred and George and Angelina, when Harry and Bill stepped through a gilded fireplace into the palatial entrance hall of the Ministry of Magic. Surrounded by the five of them, all laughing and teasing, he had reached the security station without being spotted. Today's guard was better-groomed than the one who had received Harry and Mr. Weasley a year ago, but he had the same bored look. "Line up," he had said. "Wands out." 

Harry, pushed to the front, had handed his wand over, then his knife, and waited for both to be evaluated. 

Now, with the members of his escort still queued up to one side, he finally saw something of the hall. At this hour, there were few arrivals. He could see the Fountain of Magical Brethren. It looked fine at first glance, but he had read articles in the Daily Prophet which claimed it had been glamoured rather than repaired; squinting, he could see the tell-tale glimmer at the places where it had broken under Voldemort's assault. 

As George was getting the paper for his wand (hazel, ten inches, fwooper feather core -- Harry hadn't even known fwooper feathers were used for wands, but it made a twisted sort of sense, as did Fred's wand, identical but for being an inch shorter), a flash from a camera told Harry that his luck had run out. Before they could leave the desk, a stranger with a quill had broken away from the crowd by the lifts. 

"Harry Potter! Any thoughts on your change of --" 

Fred, or possibly George, rounded on the man who had spoken. "Harry's thoughts are his own. Back off." 

"I see the --" 

George, or possibly Fred, walked behind the man and tossed a small object at his feet. In a puff of smoke, the reporter turned into a large squirrel, chittering fiercely and flicking its red tail. 

"Get clear of the smoke, now!" Angelina yanked Harry to the side, and pulled him towards the lifts, while the Weasleys and Lee jostled around them. Harry wondered if it looked more like he had a bodyguard or a gang. The squirrel took one hop after the group, then returned to try vainly to gather its writing implements into its little paws. 

Harry wasn't sure they would get into a lift in time, but one was waiting, the doors being held open and clear by an even more unexpected figure.

"Get on in, Harry! Ministry has more rules than the pitch -- don't want to be stopped." 

"Oliver!"

A shove from behind sent Harry into the lift. 

"Gape at him inside," said one of the twins. 

"Didn't think everyone had forgotten you, did you?"

Harry laughed in relief as the doors closed. "Good thing there weren't more reporters."

"There'll be more at the hearing."

"Katie is meeting us there, bringing a bloke she knows from the pub."

"Do they all _know?"_

"We haven't said a thing."

"Not a hint."

"But it's all right."

"It's _you,_ you know." 

 

The lift sank, and Harry's sudden elation vanished like a soap bubble. He had a moment of anticipatory dread before the lift's cool female voice announced, "Department of Mysteries."

The golden grills slid back to reveal a horribly familiar corridor: plain, bare, and leading to a single black door. Harry wanted to scream, wanted to stop and cry for Sirius, but his escorts jostled him companionably along, mercifully not to the door, but to the stairs. Harry went numbly with them, thoughts of his ill-sent visions and the Ministry battle displacing all worry about the hearing. He wished Sirius had survived his foolishness, and wondered guiltily if his godfather would still love him now that he had no blood-tie to James. 

_Of course he would,_ he told himself. It might not be true, but it probably was, and there was no harm in believing it. _Miss you, Sirius. I'm so sorry. I still love you._

He needed to distract himself. "Is it in Courtroom Ten?" he asked. 

Bill, to Harry's relief, shook his head. They were down in the dungeon corridor, now, but this time Harry could hear a chatter of noise ahead of them. 

"It's in Courtroom One." Bill rolled his eyes. "The only reason for Fudge to use that room is so that the public can watch, which mean he expects a walkover. We know that, or he wouldn't have invited the press."

Harry tried not to think about his experiences with the press. 

"Dad thinks some of the more independent-minded Gamot-thana will skive off, since it's so trivial; enjoy shocking the sycophants. But Dumbledore sent a few owls of his own, to ensure that the assembly had some of his people, not just the Minister's." They stopped before an immense door with imposing iron bolts, but Bill turned Harry around to an unassuming, more modern door on the other side of the corridor. "We can watch from the Observatorium." He smiled slightly. "Until you are summoned, at least."

Harry nodded. He couldn't seem to force any words out. Bill opened the door. The Observatorium was a long, narrow room with pew-like benches in four tiered rows. Where the wall to the corridor should have been, seemingly empty space looked out over a huge, torchlit courtroom. "It's charmed to view the courtroom," Bill whispered. "They used to allow people in the actual galleries, but after a coordinated incendiary attack in the nineteen-seventies, they created these rooms and charmed them to have the same view." 

About twenty people were already in the room, but most were clustered towards the front. Many of them had quills and other writing implements, and all seemed to be busily talking to their neighbors. Harry slouched to remain hidden behind Oliver and Lee, and mercifully, no one noticed him. His guard of honor led the way up the side stairs to the top of the room, where Katie was waiting with a brown-haired man. When Harry reached her, she jumped to her feet and hugged him, while Harry carefully hid his face in her hair. Bill and Angelina sat on the other side of him on the top bench, while Lee, Fred, George, and Oliver sat in front of them on the row below. Harry appreciated the cover, even while he was annoyed at the obstruction of his view. 

Harry was just shifting to be able to see between Lee and the nearer of the twins when the door opened again. 

"He's got to be here somewhere!" one of the newcomers exclaimed loudly, and the reporter from upstairs came into Harry's view. 

"Quiet in the Observatorium." The cool female voice from the lift came from the ceiling.

Another man with the erstwhile squirrel pointed up at Harry's group. "There are the redheads!" 

"Quiet in the Observatorium."

A broad-shouldered witch in a Security uniform moved clear of the door and waved her wand at them. "Observatorium," she snarled threateningly at the two newcomers. "Yew sit down and yew _observe,_ right?"

"Quiet in the--" Another stab of the witch's wand at the ceiling and the voice fell silent. "Yew too."

Holding back a giggle, Harry began to peek at what he _could_ see. There was one young man -- twenty at most -- bouncing on the balls of his feet just at the blank wall. He had a large self-rolling parchment hovering in front of him, and a dozen extra quills protruding from a sort of quiver at his waist. Harry supposed he was a reporter, as well. He wondered if the unexpected controversy at this event would be the making of his career. 

He didn't see Rita Skeeter anywhere, for which he was grateful. 

Lee edged over in response to a tap from Harry, and he finally had a view of the courtroom. It was a massive, cavernous hall of smoke-darkened stone, lit by flickering torches. Harry decided he had been wrong about Courtroom Ten. _This_ must be the place were Barty Crouch and the Lestranges, and Ludo Bagman, and all the rest were tried. The imposing seats of the judges stood across from them, while the tiered benches of the rest of the Wizengamot were arrayed to either side in rising rows. From his memories of his own hearing, and of Dumbledore's pensieve, Harry was certain more filled the wall he could not see, as well. 

Many seats were empty, and most of those present seemed to be scanning through papers. One middle-aged wizard was knitting something that shimmered like a starling's wing. Harry could see people bending towards each other to talk, but he could not hear a sound. Witches and wizards crossed the floor in formal heeled boots, but no crisp strike of wood on stone came to the observatorium. 

"How will we know what they're saying?" Harry kept his query at a whisper, so as not to draw the attention of the reporters, some of whom had moved to sit nearer to his little group.

Bill leaned close. "As soon as the court is called to order, they'll extend the spell to include sound. Then it's just like the gallery ... except you can't throw fire on the judges who are enforcing the Protection of Wizarding Culture Act ... or, in this case, on you. Or Fudge."

Harry studied the courtroom. In addition to the chain-draped witness chair, centered before the judges, the floor had a small gated area a few paces further back, surrounded by a waist-high wall of heavy panels. As Harry watched, Dumbledore strolled into view. Severus walked a step behind him, with only a slight hesitant care to his steps betraying his recent ordeal. They crossed to the enclosed area, and Dumbledore lifted the latch on the heavy oak gate and let himself into the pen. With a slight lift of his fingers, the old wizard transfigured a section of the forward high-backed wooden bench into a worn, comfy-looking sofa. Harry could just imagine how Severus must be rolling his eyes. At a motion from Dumbledore, he sat stiffly beside the headmaster and pulled a small object from his pocket. Within seconds, it had enlarged to a writing slope, from which he took a quill, inkwell, and parchment. Apparently, he was here as Dumbledore's clerk. 

Little else was happening in the courtroom. Harry wondered what they were waiting for. A few additional members trickled in while Harry watched. He started to count them and realized the assembly was not as small as he had thought -- merely diminished by the great room. He swallowed in apprehension at the thought of losing his mask in front of all those solemn witches and wizards. How would he manage to speak? Perhaps he should pick a judge to speak to. 

Fudge sat in the central position on the Bench, but Harry didn't want to speak to him. On his left was an elderly, pleasant looking witch with bright silver hair and rose-pink robes. The spot to his right was empty. A movement in the aisle caught his eye, and Harry's recognized Amelia Bones, speaking to a dark-skinned witch in saffron robes that were nearly hidden behind a swarm of violet memos. Harry thought they looked like first-years jostling for attention. Bones finished the conversation, strode over to the Bench and motioned imperiously to Fudge. 

The minister looked startled. Bones gestured again, pointing down at the floor. She took the monocle that had been dangling from a silver chain at her neck and screwed it firmly into place in front of her eye. Harry wished he could hear what she was saying. A few nearby people looked over, and Harry saw one's lips move. With an irritated look, Fudge finally stood and stomped down to the paneled pen. Harry watched the Minister frown at Dumbledore's purple-flowered sofa before perching uncomfortably on the edge of it. He flicked his hand irritably at a proffered toffee until Dumbledore withdrew it. 

From his new seat, Fudge signaled Percy Weasley, who jumped to his feet and pointed his wand dramatically forward. Abruptly, the chattering whispers of the Observatorium were muddled by amplified whispers from of the cavernous courtroom. Percy's fussy, officious voice drowned out both as he brought the court to attention:

"The Wizengamot will now--"

"Weasley!" Bones' booming voice stopped Percy in mid-sentence. "May I remind you that you are here in your capacity as Clerk of the Court, not as the personal assistant of the petitioner?"

Percy looked uncertain for a moment, then cleared his throat. "Of course, Ma'am." 

Harry was surprised that Percy's nervous reply was almost as loud as the stentorian demand of Madam Bones. The sound spell, he decided, must be stronger in key areas, such as the Bench. He expected the witnesses' voices would be similarly enhanced. 

"Then you will take your cue from the Chairwitch of the Bench, is that understood?"

Percy reddened to match his hair as he watched Amelia Bones deliberately take her seat, square her papers, and readjust her monocle. She nodded to him. 

Percy gathered his composure. "The Wizengamot will now hear this case." He sat. 

Amelia Bones peered down at the flowered sofa, shook her head slightly, and began. 

"Hearing of the first of November to confirm the fourth of October appointment of the Ministry of Magic, in the person of Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister, as guardian _ad litem_ of Harry James Potter, currently resident at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Inquisitors: Amelia Susan Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement; Justin Tatius Chandler-Thorpe, Head of the Department of Magical Records; and Florimel Dympna Patterson, Head of the Department of Family Welfare. Clerk: Percy Ignatius Weasley." After another frowning look at Dumbledore, she turned to Percy. "Mr. Weasley, read the findings of the previous hearing, please."

Percy bounced to his feet again. "Hearing of the fourth of October, application of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, to assume legal guardianship of Harry James Potter." He set back his shoulders in a pompous gesture that Harry recognized from years past. "Despite the history of the Petitioner's relationship with both the minor and his late parents, the Wizengamot finds him unsuitable for the role of Guardian. The Petitioner 's previous refusal to assume guardianship of the minor, at the request of the Ministry on the death of the minor's parents, and his later inattention, when _in loco parentis_ , to the minor's domestic conditions, led to the child spending fifteen years in an abusive Muggle environment." 

"It's not _his_ fault!" Harry burst out. Realizing his error, he ducked a little lower behind Oliver's broad back. He heard the movement of people shifting on the benches, but no one called out his name. Quills scratched frantically throughout the observatorium. 

"In lieu of any other suitable candidates, Harry James Potter shall remain a ward of the Ministry of Magic until he comes of age on 31st July, 1997. Minister Fudge has pledged--"

"That'll do, Weasley." Bones looked over to her right, at the witch in pink robes. "Patterson?"

"The Department of Family Welfare finds the appointment suitable." 

Harry twitched. When did Dumbledore get to say something? When did his father get to say something?

"Chandler-Thorpe?"

A sharp-faced man in mauve pinstriped robes nodded. "The Department of Magical Records also approves the appointment."

"Don't they have to--"

"Shh," Bill warned. Angelina patted Harry's knee comfortingly. 

"All right, then. Unless we have some supportable --" Bones glared at Dumbledore "-- objection --" She fell silent. Dumbledore was rising to his feet. 

Dumbledore beamed at her warning frown, and again at Percy, as if the indignant clerk were a favorite pupil. "I do have such an objection." 

Harry saw a nearby wizard lean down towards Dumbledore and hiss a warning. 

Fudge bounced out of his seat. For an exciting moment, Harry thought he might punch the headmaster. "Really, Dumbledore!" Fudge scowled at the old wizard. "Your case has been heard, as we have heard! You are not permitted to reintro--"

"Mister Fudge!" The powerful voice of Amelia Bones boomed across the room. "You will be silent until called upon." 

"But I--"

"Buckle up, Fudge. Not an inquisitor now, you know. Professor Dumbledore? You are aware that your suit cannot be reconsidered?"

"Giving that boy to those Muggles!" hissed Patterson, either forgetful or uncaring of the sound charm. 

"I am quite aware of that, Madam Bones. However, I have recently made a relevant discovery." 

Harry watched witches and wizards glance up from their reading. After a second's pause, Dumbledore continued. "Harry has another living relative." 

Soft gasps and not a few snorts greeted this statement, but he had everyone's attention, now. Fudge flinched, then forced a laugh. His eyes flicked briefly up towards the Observatorium. "Really, Dumbledore? A genuine relative, or a pretender?"

Amelia Bones leaned forward before Dumbledore could reply. "Not a _reliable_ relative, to stay hidden so long, now is he?"

Dumbledore nodded pleasantly. "I can see how you might think that. The difficulty is, Madam, he did not _know_ he was a relative." Dumbledore shifted, so it was clear he was addressing the entire Wizengamot. Now Harry could see only the back of his bobbled velvet hat. "Quite recently, we received some interesting news -- James Potter did not father Harry Potter." 

There was a split second of unreal silence, and then the room exploded into chaos. Several people jumped to their feet. The man with the knitting dropped a needle, unraveling a strand of stitches. 

"Preposterous!"

"Circe!" exclaimed someone in the audience chamber, and "Dear god!" someone else. 

"How dare you make such allegations, Albus!" a matronly witch in the courtroom scolded. "In public!"

"Wonder how the Boy-Who-Lived will take that!" exclaimed the reporter a few rows in front of Harry. 

"Now, now," Dumbledore chided gently, setting his head to the side. "James was quite aware of this -- and before the fact. He and Lily performed the Paternity Charm before the baby was even born." The old wizard looked across the rows of his former colleagues, turning his head enough to the side that Harry could see his benign smile. "That is wearing off, now, of course."

"Poppycock!" Fudge settled firmly back on the squishy couch. "I saw the boy myself, not two weeks ago, and he looks the spitting image of James Potter!"

"Old man has finally lost it," said a nearby voice, a few rows ahead of Harry and his friends. Harry glanced around, but was distracted by the concern in Angelina's gaze. He nodded reassuringly at her, then, when she reached for him, caught her hand and squeezed it. Looking at his friends, he saw she was not the only one. He gave Oliver a quick smile and whispered, for all of them, "It's okay. Whatever you hear, it's okay." 

When he returned his attention to the courtroom, it was still in chaos. Witches and Wizards were arguing with each other, with Fudge, and with Dumbledore. Fudge was standing and shouting, Dumbledore sitting and nodding in the way that made unsuspecting people think he was simple. _They haven't even heard who my dad is yet!_ Harry thought. _This is mad._ He felt a bit excited. 

Finally Madam Bones clambered to her feet and bellowed for silence. Even the people in the Observatorium were shocked wordless by her amplified roar. She settled her monocle again and deliberately retook her seat. 

"Now, Dumbledore -- where's your evidence? Minister Fudge says he saw no change." 

Dumbledore dismissed the matter with a vague wave. "That may be, Amelia. But if he saw him _now...."_

"It would prove my point!"

"Fudge!" Bones warned. 

Dumbledore sighed. "You may see Harry, if you wish. With the Chairwitch's permission of course?" He looked questioningly at Madam Bones. "He is in the observatorium."

Fudge nodded decisively. Harry wondered if the apparent tractability he had cultivated during Fudge's visit was about to pay off. Perhaps Fudge would consider his presence harmless.

"Percy!" Fudge stabbed an imperious finger at his aide. "Fetch--"

"Minister Fudge!" Bones barked, stopping him short. She looked down at Dumbledore. "Are you calling Harry Potter as a witness?"

"I am!" Fudge exclaimed. 

"Yes, Amelia -- I am as well." 

Bones turned to Percy. "Fetch the Potter boy, Weasley!"

"Yes, ma'am. Immediately." Percy gave a nod so deep that it was almost a bow, and worked his way along the bench to the aisle. Dumbledore shook his head as he left. 

"There he is!" exclaimed a voice. 

"Huh?" The cry pulled Harry's attention away from the courtroom and back to the observatorium. The young reporter was standing, back to the courtroom, pointing at him. After a split second of silence, the gathered crowd surged to their feet and advanced on Harry, held off only by his circle of volunteer protectors. Harry glanced into the courtroom. Dumbledore was speaking, and Harry thought he said something about Masking but he couldn't catch enough of the words over the clamor of questions from the reporters surging about the Weasleys and his former teammates. Large wizarding cameras poked through the spaces between necks to catch him on film. Angelina started to scream -- not in panic, but in defiance -- a long, steady, raging cry that first Katie, then Katie's friend, then the twins, joined in on. The reporters fell silent and put their hands over their ears. Eventually the only sound was the strange chord of Harry's protectors. They trailed off, one at a time, as they noticed the questions had stopped. 

"I don't think --" Harry started. He was going to say he didn't have time to answer anything before Percy arrived, but before he could, he saw Percy was already there, standing in the doorway shaking with fury. Harry had a moment of wondering what he had done before realizing it was the behavior of Percy's younger brothers that had enraged him. 

Harry stepped forward, between Bill and Katie. 

Percy nodded formally, but quickly and not deeply. "Mr. Potter, the court calls--"

"Yeah, _Percy,_ I _heard."_

Percy shook himself like an annoyed owl. " _calls_ you to stand as a witness in the hearing." 

"So, let's go!" Harry moved to the stairs. Oliver and the twins flanked him on the lower tier. 

Percy sucked in a hissing breath. "Harry. It was my hope, considering the grave events of the last year, that you might have matured--"

Only the presence of the journalists kept Harry from responding with a string of obscenities. "You think being a fawning toady makes you _mature,_ Percy? Caring for nothing but power makes you _mature?"_

"I can and I _will_ make a way for myself in this world! I am--"

Harry gestured to the side. "Fred and George manage to do that without bowing and scraping to Fudge! Without betraying their own--"

"You worthless--"

"-- blood! Without turning on--"

"-- little brat!"

"-- everyone. I'm not surprised about _me,_ that's _nothing_ compared to what you've done to your MOTHER!" 

Harry realized everyone in the room was now staring at them. Even Percy had fallen silent, though from the swollen redness of his face, his silence came from rage too great to express. 

Bill stepped forward. "Harry," he reproved. 

Harry slouched. "Fine," he said. "Lead me to the Wizengamot. They've got to be better to talk to than you." He looked over at Bill. "Sorry." 

Percy hurried him out of the room, but paused in the hallway to look him over. "Dumbledore has cracked. You've grown a bit, that's all." He shot Harry a hard look. "Physically, anyway."

Harry stayed silent. He hadn't realized he had been harboring that much anger at Percy, and he was more than a bit embarrassed by his outburst, but unwilling to apologize. _I had better stay calmer than that before the Wizengamot._

When they reached the door, Percy went in first, but Harry paused at the threshold. Everyone was staring at him, but he didn't mind. He felt a bit odd, knowing why he didn't mind, but he still didn't. The attention grounded him, focused him. He paused until the first people began to look away, and then he stepped forward. 

A collective gasp refocused the attention of the witches and wizards who had looked back at their papers. Harry felt a clean, bright feeling, like a cool breeze, flicker across his face. He focused on Dumbledore and Severus and kept walking forward. 

"Good lord!" 

"Merlin!" 

"Will you look at that!"

A babble of whispers slowly dissolved into louder conversation. Harry didn't hear Fudge's distinctive bluster, but he couldn't bring himself to look at what the man was doing instead of talking. He was concentrating on the crowd, on riding the power of their chaos. It was Amelia Bones whose booming voice called him to a halt. 

"Harry James Potter? Witness chair, if you please." 

He looked up at her, feeling suddenly human again, and nodded slightly. _Susan's aunt. She doesn't trust Remus._ The judge pointed her wand at the empty chair in the center of the floor. Another one appeared beside it. "Dumbledore, you'd best join him."

Dumbledore stood. "A third chair perhaps, Amelia? I should think you would want to speak to Professor Snape, as well."

Severus put aside his writing slope and stood. There was another building rumble of whispers. Bones stared, her mouth slightly open. 

Dumbledore nodded amiably. "As Harry's natural--"

Fudge jumped to his feet, interrupting the headmaster.

"NO!" He pointed at Dumbledore, his finger nearly poking into the old wizard's shoulder. "Your pet Death Eater is _out of the question,_ Dumbledore! I remember _that man's_ trial. If you think I would give him Harry Potter on a matter of simple resemblance--" 

Severus, his hand on the gate, spoke for the first time. Harry suspected most of those present would not detect the quiet rage in his tone, but he could feel it like a dangerous current, ready to break forth in screaming hate. "It is not _resemblance._ I have the contracts." 

At the mention of contracts, the rumbling stopped dead. People stared as if Severus's quiet assertion had been the battle roar of a dragon. Dumbledore tugged him forward, past a sputtering Cornelius Fudge, and out onto the floor. Every step that Severus and Dumbledore took echoed through the room as they walked across the worn flagstones. A third chair appeared, and they both sat, Severus next to Harry. Harry sent him a smile, but his father was still stiff with anger. _Or maybe fear. He was tried here, or somewhere like this. It must be worse for him than for me._

"Contracts?" Fudge snorted in delayed contempt. "What _contracts_ relate to fathering a child on another man's wife?"

Severus's lip curled. "Herem." His eyes glittered with anger. "I did not _take_ her, Minister; she was _given_." 

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "We have James and Lily Potter's will, as well, in which both acknowledge Harry's paternity--"

"The court will call on each witness in--"

"Enough!" Oblivious to Madam Bones's reprimand, Fudge struck the heavy gate, making it bounce open and shut again. The crash echoed through the room. "I do not care if his paternity is sung by centaurs and assured by goblins; we cannot give Harry Potter to a former Death Eater! It is not _safe!"_

"Silence!" Amelia Bones roared. "If you won't be still, Minister, I'll hex you still! Each of you will speak when you are called to speak, is that clear?"

Harry sat frozen, and nodded when her gaze, after apparently receiving assent from each of the adults, moved to him. 

She adjusted her monocle as she frowned down at them. "You there. Mr. ... Snipe, was it? The Minister has a point." 

"Professor Snape, Madam Bones." The taut coldness of the voice told Harry how close his father was to losing control. Harry clenched his hands tightly together to resist the impulse to reach out to him. _At this point, a touch could push him either way._

"I left the-- _You Know Who's_ service of my own volition, before his fall and before Harry's birth ... indeed, his conception. I was cleared of all charges in this very room, fifteen years ago. Perhaps Minister Fudge could be more _specific_ as to these dangers he fears?"

Severus sounded more confident, now, but Fudge, also, straightened and gathered his dignity.

"An apparent realignment of loyalties may have been sufficient in eighty-one, when we thought You Know Who destroyed. Since then, however, we have discovered that the Death Eaters -- including Mr. Snape, here, however much he may regret it -- can be summoned by You-Know-Who at any time, by means of the Dark Mark, which they allowed to be burned into their skin as part of entering his service. Now that he is active again, these people are a considerable risk. In fact, the Ministry has considered mandatory confinement of all those found to be bearing the Dark Mark." 

Severus twitched, and his jaw tightened. Harry remembered him explaining the Dark Mark to Fudge after the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Afraid that his father would start to rage at the Minister, Harry reached over and grabbed his wrist. "Dad," he whispered. Severus closed his eyes.

Dumbledore waved his hand. A small, ceramic-topped wrought-iron table, bearing a china teapot and several small cups, appeared at the side of his chair, clanking into the unused manacles that hung from the chair's arm. "Have you indeed, Cornelius? I have found that fighting tyranny with tyranny is ultimately ineffective. You have since abandoned this ill-considered idea, I hope?"

Some members of the assembly shifted uneasily. Bones looked reprovingly down at Dumbledore. "Not what we're debating today, Dumbledore. Snape -- answer the objection."

Snape nodded coolly in her direction. "The ... _You Know Who_ may indeed summon all those who bear the Dark Mark, as _I_ explained to the Minister. Such a summons can be resisted -- but only with considerable pain. Over the last two years, I have used my ... connections to provide information where it would be received." He nodded his head at Dumbledore who returned the nod amiably and raised the teapot in invitation. Snape shook his head. "Now, however--"

"Now, _he_ will not allow you to refuse!" Patterson interrupted impatiently. "What will you do then?"

 _"Now,_ I have considerably more freedom. Harry has broken the Dark Mark."

There was considerable uproar at this, but Fudge's voice roared out over it all. "That's impossible! Nothing can _remove_ the Dark Mark! The Aurors have assured me that--"

"Silesceo!" 

Fudge gaped like a fish with frantic, soundless words. Madam Bones sat back, lowering her wand. 

"Sit down, Fudge." She looked down at the witness chairs. "Dumbledore? You're one of our foremost experts on the Mark. Is this true?"

Dumbledore did not stand. "A week ago, Amelia, I would have said the Dark Mark was unbreakable. However...." Over the rim of his teacup, he looked significantly at Harry, who needed no further encouragement. 

_"You_ can't break it." Harry forced himself to stand. He kept his voice steady, but strong. "I am a Parselmouth, and I _did."_ He saw Madam Patterson flinch at the word "Parselmouth" and looked back to see Fudge's discomfiture. "Does that still bother you, Minister, that I speak to snakes? Do you really want me as a ward, then? Consider the possible damage to your reputation...."

Severus shot him a warning glance, while Dumbledore sipped his tea. Harry shrugged, and left it at that. 

"Don't see what wittering on with snakes has to do with a binding mark," Bones boomed. "Make yourself plain." 

Harry and Severus exchanged a look and concluded Harry should answer. He nodded. "Voldemort's --"

Gasps drown out his next word. Harry waited, ignoring Severus's glare and Dumbledore's approving smile. The room, at angry gestures from Madam Bones, quieted. 

" _His_ Mark includes a snake." He narrowed his focus to just her. "I gave it an order."

"An order?"

"I told it to leave." Harry reflected that this sounded much simpler and more deliberate than what had actually happened. He nodded towards Severus. "Snakes obey me, mostly. This one did. And since it left, my father's mark is just an empty skull, and seems ineffective." 

Madam Bones turned her attention to Severus. "Come here, Snape. Show us this half Mark."

Snape rolled up his sleeve as he crossed the room. He presented his arm to Amelia Bones, then, at her gesture, to Patterson and Chandler-Thorpe. 

Bones turned her attention to Dumbledore before Severus was back at his seat. 

"Well, Dumbledore? What do you think of it?"

"Of the Mark? I think Harry truly did break it. He interrupted a summoning -- I was present, at the time. Of Professor Snape? I think he will be an unexpectedly good father. He has much in common with Harry. Of losing a warning device of Voldemort's summonings?" Dumbledore fluttered a hand in the air. "I am disappointed, but also glad to see Severus gain more freedom from the errors of his youth." 

"Right, then. Did you bring these records of paternity? We'll need to view them."

Fudge twitched and waved a hand. 

"Ah, right. The defending claimant." Bones conjured a fourth chair, on Dumbledore's far side. "Come forward, then." She lifted the spell from Fudge once he had reached the chair. "Speak up!"

"Records? You can't be serious! You'll give this ... _Death Eater_ the Boy-Who-Lived if his _records_ are in order?"

Amelia Bones fixed him with a steady gaze. "The law is clear, Fudge. Parents of blood have precedence, unless active abuse or endangerment is clearly demonstrated."

"I'd think this would count as endangerment! Potter is crucial to --"

"Many people -- not least his father, I would imagine. Dumbledore, the records please."

Severus pulled a small object from his pocket. Harry saw a twinkle of gold as he held it out to the tribunal. "The Herem contract is in this." He looked at Harry.

Harry touched the ring on his finger. "The will is in my ring." He hoped the court didn't keep it, and leave him unprotected. "It was my mum's. I'd like it back...."

"You'll have it back in minutes." Amelia Bones gave him a quick nod. 

"Herem contract first," insisted a long-nosed witch sitting a few seats to the side of the judges. 

There was a murmur of agreement, and Bones acquiesced. She pointed her wand at the floor in front of the witness chairs, and the stones slid back to show a huge, shallow bowl that was slowly filling with the clear liquid. 

"Herem contract first," she boomed. "Go ahead, Professor Snape." 

Severus nodded slightly to Amelia Bones. "Madam Bones. May we ... close the viewing?"

She had just started to open her mouth when Patterson shook her head "No. If we are to consider this ... turncoat, the records must be public." 

Severus, his normally sallow face grown even paler, as if he were carved of wax, slid the brooch into the liquid.

 

The silence after the viewing of the contract had, perhaps, more amusement and shielded smiles to it than it had among the Weasleys, but no one commented.

"Should we perhaps consider closing--"

"No," Severus said flatly. "If one is public, both are."

No one disputed that. Harry stepped forward and worked the ring off his finger. A pale line marked its empty place. Taking care not to touch the liquid, he slid the glittering ring into it. 

After the viewing of the will, the room was utterly still. 

 

"Well." Dumbledore waved a hand and his tea things vanished. "Are there any further questions?"

Amelia Bones leaned forward. "Mr. Potter. In all of this, it strikes me that no one has asked your opinion. Do _you_ accept Professor Snape as your father?"

Harry took a deep breath. He looked down at his mum's ring, glittering again on his finger. He had been waiting for this question; wondering if anyone would care (or dare) to ask it. He stood, and in a smooth motion, he collected his hair in his left hand, drew his knife with his right, and chopped the blade awkwardly through the gathered strands. 

"I acknowledge that Severus Snape is my father. From now until my seventeenth birthday, I submit to his will." 

There. It was done. Harry's scalp stung from the rough cut, and he suspected he looked ridiculous, but the looks of shock and approval from the members of the Wizengamot were well worth it. Harry glanced over at his father and saw that Severus was more astounded than any of them. He dared a quick, querulous smile, and Severus shook his head. "I don't believe you," he mouthed.

Harry fought down a laugh and looked back at Fudge. The Minister for Magic was furious, but kept his mouth tightly shut this time. 

Madam Bones frowned. "Chandler-Thorpe?" 

Chandler-Thorpe pursed his lips together in displeasure, but nodded curtly. "The Department of Records finds Severus Snape's claim in order. Patterson?"

Patterson leaned forward. Anger faded from her face as she shifted her focus from Severus to Harry. "I admire your sentiment, Mr. Potter, but there are still serious questions about the suitability of this man as caregiver for a vulnerable young person like yourself, especially in light of your history and his former comrades. He has faced serious charges in the past, and was, by his own admission, a member of a violent organization that still seeks to harm you, and murdered members of your family, only a few months ago. Perhaps you should take the advice of your elders and accept someone more ... level-headed."

Harry drew his shoulders back and shook his head slightly, uncertain whether he could speak. 

"Be that as it may, Madam Patterson," Bones asserted. "Your _official_ opinion?"

Patterson's face tightened with unhappiness. "Despite personal reservations...." She hesitated. "His natural father is entitled, of course, unless...."

"Madam Bones," a previously unheard voice called coldly. Harry turned to see a wizard with dark black skin and fine features standing among his seated peers. His long robes were patterned in vertical bands of many colors and types and his hair fell in long, skinny ringlets that could only have been maintained by magic. "I call this Inquisition to a vote on the matter at hand. If the majority is less than two-thirds, _then_ let us debate further."

Mutters and cheers greeted this statement, and Amelia Bones nodded. "Very well. The vote is called." She lifted her head. "Attend! The Wizengamot will now vote on the petition before it, with due consideration for precedent and current law, as well as the peculiarities of this particular case. All in favor?"

Harry looked about him, bewildered, as hands rose in a collective swell of "Aye." Madam Bones's voting instructions seemed to favor his case, but he was unclear on what the actual vote was. He looked around for someone of known allegiance, but Fudge, of course, could not vote. Patterson did not have her hand up, which frightened him slightly. Certainly, she would vote against his father in this?

"All opposed?" Hands switched, with many more raised now, to a low, rumbling "Nay." Patterson's stayed down. She had apparently decided to abstain. The vote, whatever it was, had failed. 

Harry looked desperately at his father, but Severus looked too stunned for any other emotion to show. Fudge was gaping again, his mouth open and shutting in silent astonishment. _Promising,_ Harry thought. 

"Petition dismissed." Amelia Bones stood, and a second later, the other Inquisitors followed her lead. "Chandler-Thorpe, will you kindly handle the paperwork?" 

Chandler-Thorpe nodded and resumed his seat. 

"Weasley?"

With a start, Percy pointed his wand at the gallery, terminating the sound charm, Harry presumed. Members of the Wizengamot were starting to leave now, walking in little clusters.

"... marvelous sandwiches at that blue ..." he heard in passing. 

Dumbledore suddenly reached past him to shake his father's hand. "Congratulations, Severus," he said cheerily. His other hand rested briefly on Harry's shoulder. 

"We won then?" Harry asked. 

A slight twitch in Severus's cheek betrayed a barely repressed smile. "Was that unclear?"

"I didn't know what they were voting on!" 

"The original petition -- for the Ministry to assume custody of you. With that out of the way, it is merely a matter of your father formalizing his acknowledgment of you." Dumbledore indicated the Bench with a sweeping gesture. "Now, my boys, bureaucracy awaits. I think I'll just nip out for a bit, while you're getting yourselves tied up in red tape...."

 

The formalities of the case were rather anticlimactic, but they gave Harry time to recover his balance and steady his heartbeat. His body had apparently expected some sort of combat. Quite a bit of paperwork, and a few less-familiar forms of records, emerged from Mr. Chandler-Thorpe's sleek dragonhide briefcase. Harry suspected it was larger on the inside than the outside, or that it gave access to somewhere else entirely -- a file cabinet, perhaps. Certainly the man could not have known to bring an Affirmation of Paternity form to this hearing, nor a Registration of Herem Birth. 

Severus read and signed forms while the last, laggard members of the assembly passed, some oddly close, some oddly distant. Harry noted a few supportive smiles, and a few scowls and glares that were anything but, but mostly just curiosity. After both Harry and Severus had wand-signed a final form, they were dismissed. At the door to the corridor, Harry discovered he was trembling. He glanced over at his father. Severus looked similarly unsteady.

"All right?"

"You look ridiculous." Severus reached a hand out and fingered Harry's uneven locks. "It's longer in front than on top! You look like a savage ... or some Muggle boy in London." For all that, he was smiling slightly.

Harry didn't know what to say. Dumbledore, the purple velvet of his robes shimmering in the flickering lights, stopped close in front of them.

"Well! You will be happy to know that bureaucracy has delayed you for longer than the audience was allowed to linger, so all the fine men and women of the press have been forced to make a strategic retreat to the lobby, where they are now lying in wait. Tonks has offered to take you through a side door, so you can avoid them -- unless you would rather be grilled now, and get it over with?"

"No thanks!" 

"I, also, would prefer to avoid that." Still, Severus's expression soured slightly as he glanced around for their guide. 

"What about Bill and the others?" 

"I'm afraid they had to leave with the rest of the spectators -- not Ministry employees, you know -- but they said to convey their farewells. They mentioned something about repairing to Weasleys Wizard Wheezes for more detailed explanations from the twins -- I expect you could join them, should you wish to."

Harry nodded. He wasn't sure he wanted to see them all now. It would be reassuring to hear that Wood and the girls still liked him, but he found he could not really imagine that they wouldn't. And he suspected the atmosphere among them would be more relaxed if they had a bit of time to talk about him with the twins before seeing him again. He decided he was going to write to all of them, thanking them for their help -- and maybe suggesting they get together over the Christmas holiday. 

"Now, if you walk up to the next floor, Arthur should be waiting with a lift to bring you up to Level Two. In the meantime, I need to return to Hogwarts. Is there anything either of you would like prepared for your return?"

"Tell Ron and Hermione we won?"

"Of course. Anything else?"

"Other than that, I think I'm okay. Will you being making an announcement at dinner or something?" 

Dumbledore regarded him with a slight smile. "I expect you'd rather that than to have all your schoolmates find out from the Daily Prophet?"

"Yes, given that choice, I think I would. Thank you, sir." 

"You're welcome, my boy. I'm afraid it is beyond my power to delay the attentions of the press, but I can present the matter to your peers without undue melodrama or gravity." 

Harry's laugh came out in an embarrassing tight giggle, but the headmaster merely smiled understandingly and shifted his attention. "And you, Severus?" 

"There is a fifth-year boy in my house, Darren Coggleshall, de facto leader of ... of a contingent that will have a vested interest in this development. Please have him come to my office at...." Severus consulted his watch. "When should we be back?" 

"You are welcome to take your time, Severus." Dumbledore peered over his glasses at Harry. "Harry, I think, needs his hair trimmed. Shall we say one hour before dinner?"

Severus sniffed. Harry suspected he thought that far too much time. 

"Very well. I suppose that will be safe." 

Dumbledore nodded. "Good day then, gentlemen." With that, he gestured them out into the corridor. Severus was silent as he and Harry were climbing the stairs to the Department of Mysteries. Harry was restless with uncertainty by the time a lift opened in front of them, revealing Mr. Weasley. His eyes widened slightly before he broke into a smile. Harry wondered what that was about. Had Mr. Weasley never seen him in good robes before? 

"Express service to Level Two?" 

"Thank you, yes." Severus nodded politely as he stepped inside. Mr. Weasley gave them both another odd glance, then pointed his wand at the lift controls. The golden grill slid shut, giving Harry the impression of being in a large, beautiful cage, and then the lift began to rise. The cool female voice began to speak. "The Atrium, bypassed with emergency code. Penalties for inappro-- Level Seven, bypassed with emergency code. Penal-- Level Six ...." The lift seemed to speed up as they continued. At Level Three, the voice didn't even get through all of "bypassed with emergency code" before needing to announce Level Two. 

Harry didn't remember Level Two as clearly as he did the Department of Mysteries, but all the parts of it -- the first, bright corridor with its enchanted windows, the large room crowded with cubicles and busy chatter (in which no-one seemed to notice him), and the shabby corridor beyond --- looked familiar. He remembered Mr. Weasley's office quite clearly, but he had little time to look around it before Mrs. Weasley jumped up from one of the desks and hugged him quickly. "Harry! Your _hair!"_ She held him at arms length to look him over. Harry realized that must have been what had surprised Mr. Weasley, as well.

"Yes," Severus said dryly. "His hair. Do you suppose you could neaten it for him, Molly? He attempted to cut it himself -- no doubt to give me the full infant experience." 

Mrs. Weasley covered her mouth for a moment, but her cheeks left no doubt of her hidden smile. "Well, I suppose I could. I expect we have a few minutes before Tonks arrives -- she's terribly overworked, the poor girl! She's going to take you to an Auror's exit -- keep you away from the crowd in front, dear." 

The last was addressed to Harry, who smiled uncertainly back at her. Mrs. Weasley seized his hands. "And congratulations, dear! So nice for you to finally have a family." She sent a warning glare at Severus. "And if I hear you are not treating him well...."

"Then I shall, no doubt, receive a scolding that would make old Mrs. Black blush." Severus crossed his arms over his chest. "I have no intention of mistreating the boy, Molly." 

Mrs. Weasley nodded, and Severus leaned back against the wall. Harry suppressed a smile, as he thought that, for his father in front of two Weasleys, that was practically relaxed. Severus cleared his throat and darted a sidelong glance at Mrs. Weasley. "I will even permit him to continue to stay at your home, should you still wish to have him as a guest." 

 

Twenty minutes later, Harry's summer holiday at the Burrow had been arranged, and his hair neatened. However, he had chopped it so close to his scalp on top that it required a rather severe cut to get it sufficiently even. Severus snorted and told him he looked like a Muggle soldier. 

Harry looked down. "I thought you'd like it." 

Severus bent close. "Oh, I did," he whispered. "Both the sentiment and the effect. Still, it _was_ a haircut worthy of a six-year old who has found the kitchen shears."

Harry, who had surveyed the damage in a mirror of Mrs. Weasley's conjuring, had to concede the point.

Severus cleared his throat. "Is there any reason not to go back immediately?"

"Well ... could we go to Diagon Alley?"

Severus's mouth tightened. "You would like to join your friends." 

"No." Harry had forgotten about the twins' little party. _Was that what that little frown was, then? He thought I wanted to ditch him?_ "Not now. Let them gossip for a bit. Besides, we should do something together, shouldn't we?" He said the last a bit uncertainly. He had hoped they could do things together publicly, now that their secret was out, but it was possible his father would still prefer to avoid that. He was a very private man. Harry looked down. 

"Did you ... did you have any particular ideas?" 

"I'd like an ice cream sundae ... in Diagon Alley. Word won't have traveled that far yet, probably, if we go right away." 

Severus stared at him. "An ice cream sundae?" He looked away. "I suppose we could. I could use a few supplies not available in the Hogsmeade apothecary, myself." His shoulders tensed. "No. It would be too dangerous. The Dar-- You-Know-Who will be trying to kill me, now, as well as you." 

Harry frowned. "Volde--"

_"Harry!"_

" _Tom_ has been trying to kill me most of my life. For once, I have more experience than you do." Harry knew his voice was unsuitably fierce, but he could not modulate it. "Here is how it works: you _cannot_ stop doing things. He is not all-seeing, and certainly not all-powerful. You need to continue to do things, or he has won without a fight." 

His father's mouth twitched. "So eating an ice cream sundae is an act of ... political defiance?"

"An act of saying we will not be bullied." 

Severus coughed. "Well then." He glanced over at Harry. "Does he still offer an Unlikely Flavor of the Month? I recall the Apricot Sage was surprisingly tasty." 

 


	83. Back Home

 

After visits to Florean Fortescue's ("If you do not learn to eat whipped cream decently, I am going to forbid you to have it."), the apothecary ("Unicorn _afterbirth?_ Euech! That's disgusting!"), Quality Quidditch Supplies ("As if you needed anything more for Quidditch!"), and Flourish and Blotts ("You had favorite books? I mean, storybooks?"), Harry and Severus flooed from the Leaky Cauldron back to Dumbledore's office. 

Dumbledore looked up from his study of an intricate moving device made of crystal and some dull metal. "Ah! Back in time, I see. Harry, you'll find Ron waiting in the Room of Requirement, I believe. Severus, you have twenty minutes to prepare for your conference."

"I have been capable of telling time for many years now, headmaster." 

Dumbledore smiled cheerily. "Ah, the memory of youth! I find time a slippery creature, myself."

"It won't be as bad as the hearing, anyway." Harry concentrated on believing that. 

Severus made a face. _"You_ only need to survive Gryffindors."

Harry shrugged. "So you need to survive the Slytherins -- and Voldemort. That's not so hard; I've been doing it for years." More seriously, he added, "Good luck." 

"Good luck, yourself." Severus paused in the doorway. "Oh, and Harry? I have time to arrange your punishment now. You might want to keep that in mind."

"Great." 

 

The door to the Room of Requirement was already there. As he turned the knob, Harry wondered what Ron would have called up. He barely had time to register that it was the standard D.A. practice room before Neville yelped "Harry!" 

Harry stepped inside and closed the door behind him. 

His first invitees were all there. Seamus and Dean were still seated, but Neville and the girls were on their feet, stopped, open-mouthed, in a cluster behind Ron. 

"Harry?" Ron spoke in question rather than greeting.

"What?" Harry wasn't sure why they were all staring at him like that. He hadn't said anything, and most of them had already known, anyway.

"Harry!" Hermione stepped forward. "What did you do to your _hair?"_ She covered her mouth with one hand and started to turn pink. Harry crossed to meet the little group, and she darted forward and hugged him. "Congratulations," she whispered. "Sorry." 

"Thanks."

Ron, as she stepped away, tugged on a lock of his own hair. "Looks ... you look lots different, mate. Of course, you did before, but now...." 

Hermione's hand came back to ruffle his black fluff. "Um...?" 

"Well, of course it wouldn't be proper for me to keep it long." 

"That doesn't mean you needed to chop it like _that!"_

Harry laughed. "You should have seen me before Ron's mum neatened it. I cut it myself. With the knife. It looked like a dog's dinner." 

"You cut it with your _knife?"_

"I told you there were uses for a knife that wouldn't cut human flesh. Didn't matter if I missed, see?"

Hermione shook her head in disbelief. Ginny rolled her eyes. "Why not have someone else do it to begin with?"

"I cut it during the hearing -- as a gesture. Somebody actually deigned to ask my opinion, so I chopped off what of my hair I could reach and said yes, he is my father."

"He really is?" Seamus stood up. "Ron told us, but--"

"Yes. And I have my own bedroom in the dungeons, which is where I slept last night. Alone. No 'filthy details'. Sorry."

Seamus looked hopeful. "Have anything else on him?"

"He keeps dead moles in his cold-cabinet." Harry grinned at the faces the others made. "But they're owl treats, really. He likes owls." 

"Harry, it's just..." Neville shifted from foot to foot. "He ... he always hated you."

"Not really. He hated James's son." 

Neville, Seamus, and Dean looked at each other nervously. It was Neville, surprisingly, who spoke. 

"That doesn't sound good."

"Well, no, it wasn't. He's had to face up to a lot of things he hadn't tried to sort out since I was a baby, or even before. It really is okay, now, though." Harry reached up to push his hair back, but there wasn't enough of it left to fidget with. "And since he's finished with trying to stay in with the Death Eaters, things in public will be better, too. I think." 

Ginny touched his hair. "That will take some getting used to."

"Oh." Harry, slowly, reached up and took off his glasses. He frowned at them for a moment, then looked around. He tested how things looked with no border delineating the center of his field of vision. With a slight laugh, he looked back at the frames in his hand. 

"Suppose I don't need these, now." 

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing wrong with my vision. They've been plain glass for almost a week." Despite that, Harry folded the glasses carefully and tucked them in his breast pocket. He looked over at Hermione. "All right?"

Dean flopped down on the nearby pile of cushions. "Wear them anyway," he advised.

"Oh?" 

Hermione nodded. "For a few weeks. It's _some_ connection to your previous appearance. So people can match you to the way you used to look, you know."

"Oh. I suppose." Harry shrugged. "I'll put them on before the D.A. members arrive." 

"So, Harry," Seamus advanced. "Do you really think Snape will be less of a git?"

"Well..." Harry reconsidered. He noticed he was trying to push up his glasses only when his fingers couldn't find them. "He'll be better to me, and probably somewhat better to Hermione and Dean and the others -- there's no point in putting down Muggle-born students, now; he'll just look like an idiot if he does. The rest of you may be worse off, at first -- he has a reputation to keep up, and he'll need to show he's still the toughest, meanest bastard on staff, or his house will just tear him to pieces over me -- and my mum." Harry thought. "He'll also still need to be for _Slytherin_ \-- some one has to be, right? -- so I wouldn't expect his House partisanship to decline at all. I'd say it would get worse, except it can't." 

Seamus sighed. "Wonderful."

Harry looked cautiously around at them. "So is everyone all right, then?"

Ron, perhaps unconsciously imitating Harry, surveyed the others. "Well, no one else threw the sort of fit that I did." 

Harry rolled his eyes. "But I knew you would. I _matter_ to you, after all."

"You matter to us too, Harry." Neville's tone was slightly chiding, but he followed the words with an encouraging smile. "But I'm all right with it, if you are." 

Harry didn't think he looked all right. He looked pale and determined as a new soldier on his way to battle. Neville, he decided, he should speak to in private. 

***********

Severus's meeting with Darren Coggleshall had gone well. When he took his place at the hearth of the Slytherin common room, he was conscious of the boy's cohorts carefully distributed throughout the room. It was enough, but he would have felt better if Draco Malfoy was supporting them. The Malfoy heir was lounging against the back wall, looking sullen and bored. 

"As you all know," Severus began, "I have been absent from the school for most of the day. I have two announcements. One concerns an expected revelation, and one an unexpected one. 

"First, I am certain that all of you know I was brought before the Wizengamot as a Death Eater, after Voldemort's first fall. Only Dumbledore's intervention kept me from remaining in Azkaban. I know there has been much speculation as to my true loyalties in this matter." Severus met Pansy Parkinson's eyes. Betray him, would she? She seemed most alarmed to see him. 

Severus forced himself to straighten. 

"I joined the Death Eaters when I was seventeen, following Lucius Malfoy and Augustus Maitland, both of whom I admired greatly." He could feel the alertness in the room heighten. "I became disillusioned very shortly afterwards, having found Lord Voldemort and his followers to be nothing more than bullies, using a questionable, if attractive, ideology as excuse to indulge their sadistic tendencies, to no real benefit to their supposed cause. At that time, I stopped _serving_ an unworthy master and began to spy and sabotage, working to remove him, as unworthy leaders must always be removed." 

Severus paused to allow a few indiscreet gasps to fade. He scanned for expressions of shock or relief, but both were quickly concealed. "When the Dark Lord returned, I returned ... to my secret work." He focused, without bothering to conceal it, on Pansy. "Last night I was betrayed, and so am free of that role. I have no more ties to the Dark Lord or his madness. You may all set your minds clear on that account."

Quick glances were exchanged among the members of his audience. Severus could almost hear them realigning. He smiled slightly, coldly, and waited for the silent tumult to subside. 

"That is my expected announcement -- expected in some form, at any rate. Now for the unexpected one." He braced himself. "Harry Potter ... is ..." Without intent, he found his eyes drawn to Draco. The boy was standing by the wall, close-mouthed, and attention glued on some bare bit of stone across the room. Severus collected himself. "Is my son," he said quickly. 

Wordless sounds of shocked dismay greeted this announcement. Draco's jaw dropped, and he forgot himself so much as to stare at Severus.

"You are all familiar, I hope, with the play _The Purloined Heir?_ I find myself in a similar situation. The agreement was mutual -- and yes, his mother was Muggle-born, and I knew it -- but we had thought through only the expected scenario -- that of my death. When she released the charm, I was so near death that it worked. The Potters did not consider me a suitable living parent."

Severus noticed a few faces tighten at that. He suspected some of the younger children of repressing amusement. Draco had gone utterly white. _Odd. I thought he would have had some hint from Harry last night, if not before._

"They concealed the truth from everyone, including my son, until his sixteenth birthday, during this summer. Since then, he has been free to make his own choices. 

"I acknowledged him this morning, and claimed and was given custody."

Severus scanned the room. He didn't think he had ever seen so many of his own house wide-eyed with shock. He kept his gleeful amusement private. Coggleshall's crew looked unprepared to assist him, but then the Death Eater's children were, on average, harder hit, and looked unlikely to attack. Severus fingered his wand, conscious the situation could change quickly. He sought out Draco again and met his eyes. The boy had recovered. He responded by sweeping the room with his gaze, then sending Severus a nod. The Head of Slytherin nodded slightly in return. Draco was at least pretending to be an ally, then.

"This should have little effect on your day-to-day lives. Potter is still in Gryffindor, and as a student, will remain under Professor McGonagall's care and discipline. However, in light of recent events, I have no reason to continue a pretense of animosity, so those of you in your sixth year would do well to cease using him as a shield for your own incompetence in Potions lessons. Harry is actually ... quite talented."

He saw Draco twitch. Some piece had suddenly fallen into place for him, Severus was certain. 

"One final thing -- Mr. Malfoy performed an act of great service to the school and to this house last night, under difficult circumstances." Severus bit his teeth together in fierce pride. "One hundred points to Slytherin."

All eyes moved to Draco as he nodded a formal acknowledgment. He did not indicate whether or not he was pleased with his actions. 

"That is all that most of you need to know, at present. However, I require private meetings with some of you for whom this presents more ... complex problems." Severus drew a roll of parchment from his robes and affixed it to the wall. "This is the list of those I wish to see in my office this evening. Miss Parkinson, you are first. Come with me now, please." 

It was Draco, he thought, that he _wanted_ to speak to first, but he needed Draco to have a little time to set his thoughts back in order. It was best that Parkinson did not have that luxury.

***********

"Neville?"

When Harry's attention turned from casting a sound-blocking charm between the library alcove and the main room, Neville flinched, but followed it quickly with a grin. He twisted his hands together. "I'm actually relieved."

"Relieved?"

"The past month ... I've kept finding you scary. I couldn't work out why. Now I see ... you look a lot like _him._ I think it will be okay, now that I know what it is." 

"Oh." Harry's puzzled frown turned quickly to a smile. "Well, all right, then." 

"Harry...." Neville's voice lowered. "You could have _told_ me." 

"I wasn't--"

"I can keep a secret. You know that. And you and Ron haven't gone blabbing about _my_ mum and dad." 

"I wasn't allowed. I haven't told _anyone_ \-- not voluntarily. Hermione figured it out and confronted me in front of Ron, and by the time that was over, I had to tell Ginny. I told Dean last week, but only because he'd noticed the look, and it seemed the best way to get him to shut up about it." Harry gripped Neville's arm for a moment. "I know I can trust you!" 

Neville flushed. "Oh. Well, good." 

Harry mentally braced himself. "So. You know how you said more Potions experience would help your N.E.W.T. in Herbology?"

Neville squeaked. "I can't take Potions! He wouldn't!"

"No, he wouldn't, but he's agreed to let you and Ron use the lab in the evenings, if you want to, and I'm there to supervise." Harry didn't mention that a condition of this agreement was that he replace all damaged equipment. He was certain the damage would be less if Neville wasn't worrying about that. "So ... want to do it? Without him around?"

"Would you mind?" Neville ducked his head. "I mean, you've never liked Potions -"

"I don't know if it's genetic, or hiding out in the lab with him, but I'm a lot better than I used to be. I'm also ... It's fun to mess around with it, now that I _can._ I won't just sit and watch you -- I have my own things to play with." Harry grinned. "Want to?" 

Neville's eyes shone. "Thank you, Harry. I'd love that." 

***********

"In, Pansy." 

The girl darted forward into his office, and quickly put her back to the wall. Severus brushed past her to take his seat behind his desk. Coldly, he examined the girl. Her normally ruddy cheeks were white, and she was trying to set her mouth hard in contempt, but her lips trembled. He smiled and watched her flinch. "Have a seat." 

She continued to stand, pale and defiant. Severus sighed and looked up. "I owe you an apology." 

"What?"

"It never occurred to me you might be interested in direct service to the Dark Lord. He so seldom accepts women -- I don't watch the girls; I'd never even noticed, before last night, that I don't watch the girls." 

"And your apology, _sir?"_

"I did not think to dissuade you. And now he has you. I am sorry." 

She raised her head and tried to meet his gaze. "I support the Dark Lord, sir," Her voice wavered slightly. "I did what I needed to do -- what real witches and wizards need to do." 

He met her look then, contempt for contempt, defiance for defiance. "Stupid child. Do you think I was not just as _proud --_ " he spat the word -- "when I took the mark of my servitude? But the Dark Lord owns you now, as much property as any house elf, and you will soon know his madness better than your own mind." 

She shifted back. "You.... You're just a blood traitor. I.... You _deserve_ to die. You betrayed him. _"_

"I will not be bound by an error in judgment made years ago, when I was little more than a child--"

"Won't you? Then why accept a child by some Mudblood excuse for a witch?"

He wanted to scream, to curse her, but he pushed it back. He needed more control. He had restrained himself before Voldemort all these years -- could not some of that be drawn to here, now? He managed to answer coldly. 

"Lily Evans was a far more talented and powerful witch -- at seventeen -- than you will ever be, and every powerful fool you abase yourself to but makes that gap wider. She also had a far better sense of self-preservation than some Slytherins I might name, for all that her maternal love was greater in the end."

"How dare you--"

"Enough. Let me say what I intended before I lose patience. I _know_ you, Parkinson. I did what you have done and I survived. _I understand_ and _I_ will make myself your final judge. As long as I believe you may outgrow your idiocy without harm to those under my protection, I will not betray you. I will, however, watch you closely. Should you endanger your fellow students, or should your stupidity prove more than the folly of youth, I will drop you in an instant, and you will fall hard. Do you understand?"

She nodded with brittle control. "Understood, professor." 

"Very well. Go. Send in Theodore Nott." 

***********

"Right," said Harry, when the last of the D.A. members (the Ravenclaw boys) had straggled in. He pushed a hand through his too-short hair and wondered if it would grow overnight. "Look, I suspect you've all noticed that I've been acting a little bit odd, this term, and maybe _look_ a bit odd, and I want to explain what's been up." He ignored the few whispers and sniggers that prompted. 

"This summer, on my birthday, I found out that James Potter wasn't my ... um .. biological father. He and my mum had cast a Paternity Charm to make me look like I was. I was actually the Herem child -- an Heir Spell child -- of an ex-lover of my mum." 

Justin looked perplexed. He probably didn't recognize the spell names, but the wizard-born Hufflepuffs were wide-eyed. The Ravenclaws were frowning as if already evaluating repercussions. Harry pressed on. 

"They had thought he was dead, but he wasn't. Legally, I was still his child, even though it had been a mistake, and they should have told him. But he was a Death Eater --" people twitched at that, and there were a few audible, wordless reactions -- "working as a spy for Dumbledore, and they didn't think he could keep a half-blood child -- or himself -- safe, if he knew. So they didn't tell him ... or anyone." 

Boot was whispering something to Michael Corner. Jack Sloper, who had only joined the week before, was looking between Ron and Ginny, as if their faces might tell him something. Ernie was staring with his jaw slack. 

"They were afraid they might die without telling anyone, so they time-sent a letter to my sixteenth birthday." 

"Isn't that blood magic?" asked Boot.

"Yes. So is the Paternity Charm. So is the Heir Charm. But blood magic was legal, then." Harry waved off the concern. "Anyway, they _did_ die without telling anyone, so he didn't find out until a few days after I did, when he got his letter."

"He's still _alive?"_ yelped Ernie. 

"It's Malfoy, isn't it?" Jack guessed. "That's why you've been all chummy with _our_ Malfoy." 

"God, no!" Harry exclaimed. "No, really, Lucius Malfoy is _completely_ sincere about Voldemort -- at least as far as I can tell -- and he hates Dumbledore."

"Have you met him?" Hannah was wide-eyed. "Your father, I mean?"

"Is he still a Death Eater?" asked Justin.

Susan shook her head. "More importantly, is he still a spy? I mean, should you be telling us this?" 

"He retired rather abruptly, last night. We were hoping to hold out until my custody hearing -- that's where I was today -- but he was betrayed to Voldemort last night. That's why I was gone; things got complicated." 

Some people accepted that as an answer. Others looked alarmed, or speculative. Harry tried to think what to say next. 

"Is he a better father than he is a teacher?" Luna asked in her soft, almost preoccupied way.

"What are you talking about?" Michael demanded. 

"Professor Snape, of course. It would have to be him, wouldn't it?" 

A few people burst out laughing. 

"Luna!" Hannah chided. 

"Oh bloody likely Snape's working to defeat You-Know-Who!"

"Harry'd be running for Mongolia!" 

"Luna, the most dramatic explanation is not always--"

Harry cut through the voices. "Yes, Luna. It's Professor Snape." 

There was a moment of absolute silence.

"Euech!" 

Giggles greeted this exclamation. Harry rolled his eyes and tried not to bristle. 

"Harry?" Susan Bones advanced. "Promise you won't stop washing your hair?"

Someone whooped. More laughed. 

"Hold it." Justin stepped forward. "Snape was a _Death Eater?"_

"Didn't you know?" Susan answered. "The only thing that kept him out of Azkaban was Dumbledore's personal protection. That's why he works here. No one else would have him."

Harry tried to think of what to say that wouldn't sound too protective or defensive, but Hermione saved him from the effort. She snorted contemptuously. 

"Snape? Are you out of your mind? He might not be much of a teacher, but he's brilliant in his field. He had his first citation in Alchemistry Today before he left Hogwarts!"

"Dumbledore wanted him here," Harry added quietly. "Because of ... well, Voldemort, one way and another." 

"Yes, but ..." Justin still looked stunned. "Dumbledore let us be taught by a former _Death Eater?"_

Cho giggled. "You sound so shocked." 

"I _am_ shocked!"

"Most of us knew, you know." 

"I didn't." Terry shrugged. "But I've never been that interested in modern history." 

Hannah pushed her braid back. "I don't see that it matters. I mean, he's kind of creepy...."

Harry leaned back against a bookcase while various members of the D.A. compared Professor Snape's faults. He took off his glasses, set his expression into an appropriately disdainful sneer and played with the earpieces while he waited for a lull. 

"Are you _quite_ finished?" 

A few people stuttered replies. Hannah and Parvati even jumped back. Harry realized he was smirking and forced a friendlier smile. 

"Right, then. I trust this won't cause some sort of crisis of distrust?"

Michael Corner stepped forward. "Look we don't mind _you,_ but ...."

Harry raised his eyebrows. 

"Well, it's Snape," Justin continued. "You know the sort of things he says about ... well ... people like me--"

"But he gathered information for Dumbledore for years, putting himself in terrible danger -- until my safety was at risk. And he risked his life, just last week, to protect Colin -- and Remus Lupin." Harry took a deep breath. "And my mother was ... _like you,_ as you say -- and he chose her." 

The giggling and comments had stopped. People stood quietly, not quite able to meet Harry's eyes, but also not able to look away. Harry pushed away from the bookcase and straightened. He settled the glasses back on. "Well, I expect some people will be horrid about it," he said, "but I'll manage. Dumbledore's going to tell everyone tonight. For anyone who's all right with it, I'd appreciate some company walking down to dinner." 

Without waiting for a reply, Harry headed for the door. For a moment, he thought no one would move but Ron, who turned with him. Then Neville hurried to catch up, with Seamus and Dean a few steps behind him. 

"No, I've talked to him a few times," he heard Hermione saying intently. "Since I found out -- we weren't supposed to know, but we were worried about how often Harry was missing -- and I think he can learn. It's hard to change, you know, when you're pretending to be the same."

"I find it difficult to credit...." Justin returned, but some voices were growing closer to Harry's slow walk, and he lost Justin's voice behind Susan's "... _must_ convince him to grow it again when he's old enough," and Ginny's answering giggle.

Harry's heart swelled as he realized the vast majority of the D.A. was now following in his wake. They continued their chatter on the stairs with Ron and Hermione walking quietly on either side of Harry, Neville and Dean right behind them, and the others forming a cheerful mob before and behind. The tumult of talk only dropped to whispers when they surged into the Great Hall.

It was an unusual enough sight -- a large group made up of members of multiple houses entering together -- to make most of those already seated glance up at them for a moment, but Harry could not help noticing that every head in Slytherin turned to seek him out, and that they all continued to watch him, even those that began to whisper to their neighbors. All, Harry amended to himself, except Draco Malfoy, who quickly looked back at his empty plate. The Slytherins all _knew,_ Harry realized. Severus had already told his house. 

When Harry headed for the aisle between the Slytherin and Ravenclaw tables, the people behind him hesitated. He looked over his shoulder to give them a wave of thanks, and the Hufflepuffs and most of the Gryffindors moved off to their own house tables. The Ravenclaws lagged back, but stayed casually near Harry as he walked purposefully between the benches, and the Slytherins continued to track him as he moved alongside their table. He suspected no one was surprised when he stopped behind Draco Malfoy. 

"Draco?"

Draco twisted in his seat. "What is it now, Potter?"

His voice was taut with anger. Harry bit his lip. The revelation hadn't helped much, then. Still, Draco wasn't actually threatening him.

"I'm sorry." Harry looked steadily at Draco. He needed to say as much as possible, but he did not dare speak explicitly about illegal spellcasting. Many of the people about him were still enemies. "I should have trusted you, at least once you agreed, but I was too anxious. Now that you know the situation, is there anything I can do to get you to forgive me?"

"You don't understand!"

"Neither do you! I woke up _screaming!_ Look--" Harry took a deep breath. "Is there some way we could exchange memories? Then we could at least fight about what actually happened."

"I would _not_ trust you in my mind."

"And I don't know enough Legilimency to get there! But perhaps we could use a pensieve?"

"I don't see that it would help." Draco looked away. For a moment, he just looked lost, then his face regained its familiar sneer. "Odd, how easily you lie." 

"Actually, I find it very difficult. Don't think I didn't want to tell you." 

"And your grand scheme? Is there one?"

"I said I was going to win -- do you doubt it?"

Draco turned his head to study him. "No," he said finally. 

"So, are you my friend?"

"Or else?"

Harry wished he could somehow clear the twist of betrayal from Draco's sharp features. "No," he said simply. "I didn't mean that. Just ... friends?" 

Another spasm of distrust made him flinch back. "Come on, Draco! You understand about family." 

Draco looked down. After a moment he said, very quietly. "I understand. Do you?"

Harry took a deep breath. "It's a separate loyalty. I mean I'd understand if you needed to...." He didn't want to be talking about this in public. "Voldemort irregardless." 

"Still." Draco studied him with an almost sneering look. "I'm afraid it just won't _do,_ Potter." 

"Why not?" Harry remembered something. "Do you mind I'm not really a Potter?"

Draco looked up in surprise. "What?"

"Well, you said it helped make up for my Muggle blood."

Draco shrugged. "I suppose it matters in some grand scheme of things." He looked slightly startled as he continued. "It doesn't matter to me, though." 

"Friends?" Harry said again, hopefully. 

Draco hesitated and his scorn abated. He looked gloomily out over the hall. The Ravenclaws in Harry's escort had settled themselves nearby. A few of the other nearby Ravenclaws were whispering urgently -- probably about the "not really a Potter" remark. Harry thought he saw Draco smile slightly as his gaze touched on Michael Corner and Cho Chang, heads close together. 

"Here's a deal, Harry -- get down on your knees and ask me, and I will forgive you."

Harry started to shrug, but the motion got lost as his shoulders tightened and his first impulse of agreement change to a flinch of revulsion. Draco's smile twisted to a sneer. 

"You can't do it, can you, Potter?'

"I...." Harry fought back the impulse to reply scornfully. Even if they were alone ... he couldn't. He managed a nod.

"You see, _that's_ the problem. You can think that we're on a level -- and, egalitarian as you are, you probably do think that -- but you now _believe,_ heart and soul, that I am your property." Draco, who had leaned forward while he was explaining this, sat back. "As do I, ridiculously." He shook his head. "We can't be friends that way." He looked down. "If you ... recover enough to do as I asked, I will be friends with you again, if I can."

Harry nodded again. The demand had seemed arbitrary, but put like that, it made a twisted sort of sense. He evaluated Draco for a moment, and tried to imagine sitting down with him for a talk. Which ever way he tried to set it, he could not help but picture Draco at his feet. He could readily imagine the fair head resting against his knee while his hand stroked the softness of that fine hair ... but not Draco beside him. Even remembering earlier encounters that had actually happened -- down by the wyvern cage with his adder, or in the stands at the pitch -- was difficult. He sighed. "Right. I'll see what I can do." 

He turned and walked to the Gryffindor table. Ron and Hermione had saved him a seat between them, and he settled into it gratefully. Seamus, Dean, and Ginny sat across from them, buffering him from people who didn't know yet. Harry wondered if he would actually be able to eat.

He had barely filled his plate when Dumbledore stood. 

"Before we start our dinner, I have an announcement." 

People looked curiously among themselves. Harry watched Severus toy with the stem of his glass.

"It has been a very long time since a member of our staff has had a child enrolled at Hogwarts." That alone was enough to start some speculative whispering. Dumbledore's voice rose over the sound. "However, this summer, we received documents, and later records, from James Potter, revealing that he was not the natural father of his home-child, Harry." 

People were staring at Harry, now. A low susurration of whispers filled the hall. He tried to look unconcerned. A nervous smile kept shaping on his lips. 

"Professor Snape rose to the occasion of discovering that he had a school-age child admirably, and earlier today he was formally awarded custody of his son, Harry." Dumbledore waited politely for the people who had choked on food or drink to recover. "And I am pleased to say that Harry seems to have got over the understandable shock of discovering he had a parent in the staff room with equal aplomb. We wish them all the best." He clapped for a moment, and a scattering of students followed suit, although they all looked rather stunned. 

Dumbledore sat and began to spoon potatoes onto his plate. Harry looked to his father and was surprised to find Severus was not looking back at him. He seemed to be speaking to Remus. When Remus smiled at him and leaned close to whisper, Severus shook his hair in front of his face, but did not draw away. Harry smiled.

"He can't mean it!" someone exclaimed. 

"Harry?" Zoë asked. "Are you all right?" 

Harry was glad he'd had the ice cream earlier, because it quickly became apparent that he would not get a chance to eat much of his dinner. He seemed to be answering the same questions again and again. 

"Fine. No, really, he's been great," alternated with "no, I'm not changing my name," both with more or less detail, depending on how well he knew the questioner. When Ron was starting on his third helping of the roast pork, Harry finally stood up. 

"Look," he said to everyone currently within earshot, "I'm fine. I mean it! In fact, I'm really happy. He's been great as a dad, and I'm looking forward to half of my life not being a secret anymore." People stared in outright shock. Teresa had both hands clapped over her mouth. Harry cleared his throat. "But I'm still not going to change my name."

Embarrassed at his own presumption, he sat down. No one else seemed to think he had overstepped the mark. Jack leaned forward. 

"Well, why not, then?"

A number of people were openly listening. Harry chose his words carefully. "James Potter loved me, and accepted me, and took as good care of me as he could. I want to continue to honor his memory."

Seamus laughed. "Not to mention how much it would confuse the historical accounts. Come on, Harry, think of the favor you'd be doing to the editors and printers of the world!"

Zoë grinned. "They'd have to put everything into revision." 

Hermione nodded solemnly. "I think you need to consider the benefits to the national economy, Harry."

 

"Harry?"

Harry stopped short in the corridor outside the Great Hall. He turned slowly. Olivia was standing behind him, looking uncertain.

"I ... um...." Harry looked down. "I thought you were never going to speak to me again."

Olivia shrugged. "I'm a Slytherin. I don't feel compelled to live up to things I should never have said."

"Oh." Harry couldn't restrain the smile that was determined to occupy his face. 

"I didn't understand. I didn't believe it was really important. I mean -- Professor Snape was in danger. You followed him, didn't you? Had you found out what was going to happen?"

"Just after he left, yes. I had to catch up with him. I'm sorry I couldn't explain." 

She offered him a tentative smile. "A hazard of being you?"

"Yeah, sometimes." He looked at her seriously. "Olivia? It's going to continue to be a hazard of being me. I mean, I can't say it won't happen again. I can't say I won't end up hexing or capturing or possibly even killing whomever it was you didn't want me to see last night." He laughed slightly. "Or being killed by them. I can't say I won't die on you, at the worse possible time." 

She looked shocked for a moment, then turned up her nose. "Well! If you die on me when you've promised me a night out, I will _definitely_ never speak to you again."

He nodded. "It's a deal." 

A moment later, they both burst out laughing. 

 


	84. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter of _Blood Magic_ , a story I finished in September 2004. 
> 
> I wrote a short follow-up, _Blood and Choice_ , that I first posted in 2011. I hesitate to call it a sequel, as it is a 4-chapter interlude of the Christmas holiday. I will be posting that next, and then going back to my WIP _Teamwork_.

Epilogue

 

A week before the end of term, snow misted in the air and dissolved on contact with the muddy ground. Harry sat on the edge of an empty fountain and watched the fine flakes swirl. In the otherwise empty courtyard, he was aware of Hermione from the time she stepped out the door, but he waited until she was beside him to acknowledge her.

"Hi."

"Hello, Harry. Enjoying the weather?"

He turned his head toward her, finally, and smiled. "Yes."

Her cheeks dimpled as she smiled in return. "Good. I like the first snow too." She hoisted herself up onto the fountain's edge. "I talked to Ron."

"Mm?"

"He said you were walking back from breakfast today, and you ran into Malfoy -- and that you went on your knees to apologize."

Harry looked away to hide a smile. The leaden sky was darkening with the approach of night. "And?"

"Well ...." Hermione hesitated. "This sounds rather odd, I'm sure, but congratulations."

"Thanks." Harry bit his lip. "It was _hard._ I think it was hard for him, too, because he turned pink and pulled me to my feet almost right away."

"Ron said he wanted a more explicit apology, but the two of you went off and talked, and he dropped it."

"I persuaded him that admitting what I had done would be politically damaging to me, which would, in turn, diminish my usefulness to him."

Hermione made a face. Harry waved the matter off. "Anyway, we're going to try to be friends again. I think it will take a while to get back to feeling comfortable, but I'm hopeful, now. We've both missed each other. He says I may sit with him in Potions, next time we have a class." 

"How kind."

"I've missed his airs, actually. How is Ron taking it?"

"Better, now that I've said it was a good thing."

"Thank you, then."

Hermione smiled again. "You're welcome."

Harry cocked his head at her. "And where were you?"

Hermione sighed. She picked a pebble out of the dry fountain and let it roll off her gloved fingers. "Studying with Lydia." 

"Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise?"

"I've been trying to think of a polite way to tell her I'm utterly bored."

"Really?"

"Look, I _know_ I study a lot, and I do think it's worthwhile, but I'm used to being with people who don't. I think -- as much as I hate to admit it -- maybe I need someone who makes me do something else."

"Hm." Harry visibly considered the matter. "Draco's available."

"No. No, no, no, _no_ \--"

"Okay, Hermione! I get the idea!"

She shifted closer, warming his side. "Is taking up with Malfoy again really a good idea? People still seem a little tense around you."

Harry shrugged. "Some of them. The D.A., mostly, are all right, and the people in my classes are all right." 

"Except for last session, when Colin had his little screaming fit about how you've become an utter arsehole since Snape's blood took hold."

"Yes, well, he's never really forgiven me about the camera." Harry tensed. "And I've never really forgiven him for nearly getting both of them killed. Still, I try to be fair." 

"For the most part, you are." Hermione shrugged. "As fair as you ever were; possibly better." 

"Dad's better too, I think." Harry grinned. "Though he still favors Draco -- but I'm glad about that, now. And he's so much better to me that it's hard to tell what it's like for other people."

"Oh, he's better." She giggled. "Of course, Padma, just last week, was saying that it must be because he's, um, 'getting some.'"

Harry snorted. "From what I've managed to catch, they haven't got that far yet, though I hope they will -- and farther." He grinned. "I think Remus would make a wonderful stepfather." 

Hermione choked. "Better not mention that to Snape!" 

"Oh, I won't. I'm learning when to keep my mouth shut." 

She nodded. "Which has a lot to do with why there's only mild distrust of you."

"Well, that and turning up pink, or with glowing feathers, after hitting another one of his ambushes." 

"But you take it in good humor. If you were stomping around in a strop, that would only make it worse."

"I suppose so."

"Harry, honestly -- I think you are doing a wonderful job handling things, this year." 

"Thanks." He brushed his cheek against her hair. "Your opinion means a lot to me." 

The light snow had almost stopped. Harry looked up. "The owls."

The nocturnal birds were swirling out of the tower like a new flurry of snowflakes. Hermione nodded. "Going out to hunt." 

For a minute, they sat in silence and watched the birds glide lower. They dispersed as they descended, until Harry could not watch all of them. Keeping his eye on a white one that might be Hedwig, he shifted, then hesitantly reached an arm around the girl at his side. 

"Harry? I don't think--"

"Friends," he said firmly, gripping her far shoulder. "Just-- No, not 'just' anything. _Completely_ friends. Always." 

"Friends." She leaned into the embrace. "Always." 

 


End file.
